₦airaland Forum

Hangulsaram:
Accepted provided she did not go and sleep with someone else because that makes both of them the same. But you never address other points that I raised.

I’ve addressed your other points in my other posts

Hormonal issues are treatable.

Hygiene issues can always be fixed as long as the couple are willing to communicate and listen to each other .

Hmmmm

jmoore:
We have monetized marriage in this country.

For the first time I went for introduction. Not my own introduction. The father of the fiancee said 26,000 naira was the price to collect the marriage list. I thought the fiancé will give anything he likes to collect the marriage list.

The fiancée is from Abia.

This culture will end when men are ready for it to end

MrBrownJay1:
you are using your female brain to jusge a manly issue....you cant do that!

4 weeks without sex is indeed a lot and this man should have waank himself to sleep every night, to quench the konji demon that was taking possession of his body!

Coming from men who ask women what they bring to the table when they can’t go a few weeks without trying to get between a woman’s leg.

I was reading some comments on that thread where the wife was denying her husband sex. It was really amusing to see how heated some men got from the idea of not having sex for a few weeks. Some likened it to torture. Some said the woman deserves to die for being wicked. I don’t think there was any of kind of I’ll word that wasn’t used to describe that lady.

Ah ah. So our body is worth that much yet they have the nerve to ask what women bring to the table. Smh

Hangulsaram:
So the solution to these problems is to deny him his conjugal right?
The hormone aspect is it not what the woman can work on, what about the men who don’t cheat bu their wife denies them sex, why the loss of attraction biko, when did he develope this poor hygiene, after marriage or it has been the same before they got married?

Yes if a man is sleeping around, it’s perfectly splendid reason for the woman to refuse to sleep with him.
Women aren’t dumping grounds for diseases

Eww!!!

Acidosis:
I "love" the way you blamed hormones and the man for a woman's inability to perform in bed. Well-done, Coco

No I’m just answering the question not necessarily passing blame.
The hormonal issues can be fixed with medication.

And the woman not being able to perform is not the same as her not wanting to do it. In that example, I wasn’t speaking of those who can’t perform but those who can but refuse to for any of the other reasons except hormonal imbalances

Since you asked. Here are some reasons women have said they reduced marital sexual intimacy

1) poor hygiene

2) loss of attraction

3) wife is carrying a larger portion of the family responsibilities (big libido crusher)

4) hormonal imbalances leading to decreased libido

5) husband cheats, so wife no longer respects or cherishes his sexual attention. Wants to avoid getting STDs from him

6) husband is poor in sexual performance, So it becomes a chore for the woman . Sex that doesn’t give you orgasm or sex with a partner who doesn’t care if you enjoy it too or not must be tedious I imagine

Absolutely

Stargurl20:
. If I've finally decided to have sex before marriage (which i pray doesn't happen), it will solely be my personal decision and not to make any fvcking guy stay. Not even when I'm totally in love. I will assume if he cannot stay, then he doesn't deem me as worth it and such man doesn't deserve an iota of my love.

I have a bridge to sell to anyone who thinks this lady hasn’t had plastic surgery.
She’s not more natural than Kim. They just did theirs to the different extents that they want. And as they should because YOLO. Do what you want with your body

Lmao

Aww

WTF?!!!

BlackyOne:
Are you sure you're not me... We have exactly the same experience and predicament at the moment, this is surreal!!!

it’s not surreal. Many of you are unfortunately like this

Don’t want babies but won’t actively try to stop it from happening. Waiting to blame someone else for the actions you took

Mmm ever heard of a condom? Or you only just realized they exist

Next thing you’ll start talking about how she tied you down with a baby. But look at you. Happily tying yourself down. No sense of accountability

Lee99:
now I've nutted more times in her than I care to count and I hope they were blanks because I honestly don't want to deal with it, tho if it happens that way I'll have to man up and take charge of things, I only hope she gets her period soon then I can start using protection whenever we have sex, whether she likes it or not.

Bashing is allowed but try to make small sense please.

Breakfast

Somehow we still manage to blame women and women’s conduct for the danger they face.
When the common denominator is men

AllahIsSatan:
At the end of the day, even mûdslîmé men don't respect their women.
They're the biggest violators of their women's rights from pedophilia, to kidnapping little girls for sex slavery, to obtaining prostitutes for Bandits, to FGM, life has always been a tragedy for mûdslîmé women.

[img]https://images./6kFi0ENx0SKQNXl6kYMp3E.jpg[/img]

Well just so you know, victim blaming usually denotes a subtle support of the offender even if one says they don’t support such.

Yes she should divorce him

advanceDNA:
I never twisted anything....u have a funny way of dialoguing.....did I say he ddnt do wrong..??

I only said the cause and the bad act needs to be addressed.... u can’t manipulate people and expect them not to react....the sad reality is u don’t know how people will react....now the evil deed is done....

Don’t u see people killing their lovers because of infidelity... is it right to kill..?? Of course not.. but you don’t go around pushing people’s buttons because u don’t know how they will take it....

U don’t want to have sex... tell him why, tell him what the issue is, but no, u just want to have monopoly becos you can....

okay naaa... they should divorce each other... she only wants sex when she wants it... she has no business being in a marriage..

he lacks control...he also doesn’t have business being in a marriage..

I didn’t misquote you. I used your exact words word for word. It didn’t make sense when you read it coming from another person right? My point is made.

You’re not an object. You’re a person in control of your own body.

Nothing I’ve said negates selflessness in marriage. You can be selfless and still maintain your own autonomy without seeing yourself as someone who has no right over their own body.
Yes there are things you can tolerate from your partner only but rape isn’t one of them.

Mercychen:
Can you stop misquoting me and go straight to your opinion?

I never said marriage is literally about taking nonsense. That was just an idiom! There are things you would normally not take but for the sake of marriage, you take them.
Got that?

So, if sex is not pleasurable or you don't feel up to it and your partner is dying to have it, you can't sacrifice to satisfy him that moment? Hmmm
This was why I said marriage is SELFISH AND SELF-CENTERED these days. It's always about one person. As long as you're fine the other person can go to hell.
Where is the love (sacrifice) we claim to have for each other?
Where is the selflessness that should be Paramount in our marriages to make it work?

These are the things causing divorce and separation in so many marriages and the more reason I'm still looking at it in 3D for now.

It seems you consider the slap more violent than the rape itself. That in itself shows that you have a lot to grasp when it comes to bodily autonomy and consent.

Yes the rape is worse than him seeking his sexual gratification elsewhere be it with his sister or sister-in-law. Long as it’s consensual

Afterall sexual incompatibility is a good reason for divorce. But rape is never a justifiable outcome no matter how you try to twist it

advanceDNA:
Coco...Haba!!!

Really.. so slapping you in your cheek is now worse than impregnating your best friend or sister??

So an act has to be violent before we can consider provocation.....U sef know so this your logic no follow...

ebig21:
He is not a rapist, he can never rape his wife please go and check criminal code act or the penal code act.

Legality is not morality nor does it determine what’s good and fair

Those things you mentioned are not violent crimes

advanceDNA:
it’s on this same forum u women blame men for women’s infidelity, paternity fraud and whatever manner of atrocities women commit.... u women always feel a man must have done something to a woman to cause her to do wrong....

It’s now a man’s turns... provocation no longer matters .....the verdict is that he’s a sexual predator.. end of discussion...


Have it your way madam coco..

IgweBUIKE1:
Have you ever been married??don't be a evening news paper and advice another person...when she signed up for the marriage ...didn't she know that know that you can't skip Any of the terms and condition...hitting her was bad but the forceful sex is a norm...I can't be training a dog that will be barking at me

Is it your wife that’s comparable to a dog?
Or is your mom comparable to a dog in your home while you were growing up?

Someone will read all this trash that you guys post on nairaland and still open their mouth to say they don’t see any marginalization of women in Nigeria.

flokii:
Or rather.. as long as she is enjoying his money and staying under his roof as his legally married wife.

There is no reason to justify woman denying her husband sex for a month just like a man has no reason to deny his wife sex. It's a recipe for bitterness, broken marriages, cheating etc. and should not be encouraged in any way.

There are justifiable reasons for not wanting sex.
That’s not the topic of discussion here though

The topic is that he’s a rapist

And she’s not under his roof. She’s not a furniture in his house.
They live together in their house

Y’all are disgustingly insufferable. Are your moms objects in your fathers house? Deplorable

As long as she’s enjoying it and not being forced to do it. Get it?

flokii:
Word.. practice what you preach and preach what you practice.

Some will give their husband sex early morning, take lunch to his office and still give him quickie, then when he returns home at night, they still open for him but come to public space to justify other married women denying their husbands sex for months in the name of yeye "feminism" or whatnot.

If the man has more rights over her body than she does, then it means she has no right over her body. No? You’re contradicting yourself

There’s nothing “woke” about owning your own body: it’s basic humanity 101.

And marriage isn’t about being “ready to take nonsense”. My goodness!


Please don’t have sex against your wish. Sex should be pleasurable to you whenever you engage in it otherwise it’s meaningless

Mercychen:
I never said a woman has no right over he r body. I only said the husband has right over her body

which is one of the things couples are made to understand when planning to come together as man wife and they all agree to these rules at the initial stage during counseling and at the altar. Only to start breaking the vows,/agreement the moment they gain ground in their husbands house.

Again that is a sacrifice you make for agreeing to be with another entity. You give it your all, which could sometimes be against your wish. That's what marriage is all about. Forget this "woke" mentality some of you suddenly start coming up with after "having your cake" and Stick to the vows you both made and agreed to at the counselors office/ altar.

Any body who is not ready to take nonsense should not bother getting married because therein lies a lot of nonsensical characters and behaviors.

Nuf said!

She’s not the cause of his behavior
He raped her because he’s a rapist.

End of discussion

advanceDNA:
I’m not enraged.... I don’t care how long he stayed without sex..every home has their modus operandi....some couple have sex once a month and it’s not an issue.. some are used to 3 times a week...

But the fact is, u can’t address his wrong behaviour without addressing the causE...That’s how it works in court....
Is that not why we have manslaughter/crime of passion, and fist degree murder....??

Luckysbab:
Honestly. Such silly being

Product of rape

Luckysbab:
He ought to have divorced her first. Stop being foolish

yes that’s better than him being a rapist

It’s sad to see when women get convinced that they have no worth unless they are serving men in some form or the other.
That’s goal of the insidious patriarchy

Ladyhippolyta88:
Some women here also reason like them too.

Imagine thinking that because you are married you no longer have a right to your body. The person teaching them this is the genesis of all this issue.

You’re a dumb child

Kingcalls:
U are the stupid one here....u cant make use of ur brain to understand logic ....stop throwing emotions...I repeat there is nothing like rape in marriage ... as long as u are married and fit, u owe ur partner sex... u hv no right to deny ur partner sex ,its a sin...

Its no different from a job that pays u to work...u hv no right to miss work unless u are permitted... its like saying a job is forced labour .... who breeds this generation of people like u??

advanceDNA:
He had no justification to rape her....

But what do u women always mean by I’m not in the mood...it just sounds like a way of manipulation.... two people that loves each other can get in the mood when they touch other....: one person need not be selfish by saying I will only have sex when I become h0rny naturally.....

Why she denied him sex is a separate conversation.
The focus here is that he’s a rapist.

Did he rape all his girlfriends who refused to sleep with him before marriage? I mean since y’all are so enraged by the fact that a man went a month without sex. I’m assuming you think it’s biologically impossible for him to abstain and try to get to the root of the problem in his marriage.