₦airaland Forum

Samakus:
Plans for the future together? You called me dull but actually, you're the dull one here if you believe that a lady who was deceived with the same thing for 3 good times is not to be blamed

Samakus:
..and you're absolving the lady that opened her legs with the intention of tying the guy down of any blame. You're worst than Buhari! Both are to blame. In fact, the apogee of irresponsibility is when a lady opens her legs for a guy for the main purpose of getting unending child support. Our clime is different from Americas in case you've forgotten. With this harsh economic climate, one will still hope to be spoonfed by a guy in name of child support which was purely conceived and brought to fruition by the lady. That's dastardly.

If a lady got pregnant by mistake or by mutual consent with the 'impregnator' without any hidden agenda, the man should ( and I believe that over 80% of guys today will) man up and take full responsibility for the upkeep of the child and mother. But when you get pregnant for the same guy for 3 times and proceed to born them, I REPEAT, YOU'RE 'GOLDDIGGER' LOOKING FOR A CHEAP WAY OUT OF POVERTY. You deserve whatever irresponsibility you get from your 'impregnator'.

Samakus:
Nwokem jee zue ike biko!

How can you explain that the guy isn't providing his share of the child support? Because the hoe said so? Abegi!
It's obvious that the lady saw employment opportunity in getting pregnant for the guy. Or how do you explain that a lady will get pregnant and give birth 3 times for a guy she's not married to if she didn't have ulterior motive? Just tell me.

MrBrownJay1:
foolish women going on social media talking nonsense just to try to tarnish a man's image, because the dude is tired of her sorry aaass and antics.

as much as a man should do his best to feed his children, it certainly aint babymama's decision as to what he (AND babymama) MUST provide. its a MUTUAL job, not a one way street, and unless both are working together to achieve that, it will never work. we see deadbeat fatherr EVERYDAY, just as we see DEADBEAT mothers foolishly thinking that a child is a free meal ticket (aka free paycheck)!
ARRANT NONSENSE!!!

golddeejay:
This is becoming a drag...I leave the moral preaching to you.

golddeejay:
A guyman (married or not) can use my house for his thing if we are close like that.

The dude turning himself to a roommate is my issue with this story.


Though having any kind of familiarity with his wife changes my stand.

candlewax:
I've delivered it to him at his office already, I cant imagine him sleeping in my house today. I better lose anything I stand to gain from him, for the fact that he brought another woman this morning. Three different women in two nights (OMG). I'm sure he can't allow that in his house and the guy is very loud, like he makes calls as if he's on a stage performing. He's just a no no. Wonder how people grow into terrible being

golddeejay:
Give people an inch and watch them become your ruler.

Though there is nothing wrong in my fellow human banging in my house but we had to be very close and have deep history.

Your friend na EFF up guy and wants to keep taking advantage of your calm Personality. But sorry to say bro, been quiet is different from being a coward. Postponing talking sense into your guy will give him more room of trashing on you.

You should let him know you are not expecting him to stay for long immediately you noticed his trick. Call him aside from his girl in the money and tell him calmly but firmly you like your privacy or you are expecting a lady or family.

Just tell him frankly, regardless of any potential business you are expecting from him. You had no agreement he will become your roommate. Don't be too passive and take sh!! you don't like from people in the name of being a good guy.

Madu100t:
My friend did did once in my house, I feel like a dead man, the truth is I was trying to be nice to him but noticed it ll surely make me run mad at d end for I ll be d loser after all, I told him and he joked as usual, he came for d second time, I left and told him that I was at home, he bought raw foods for d babe ll be in my house over nyt while he goes home to his family to return after day break, he met my door locked and he called till he got frustrated, hoping he change or get angry, in less than a month, he came wt another girl, I told him my gate is open that I ll soon be home, while I was in my biz area looking for daily bread, that one pain him that our friendship changed, thou not as fun as it use to be but I am eternally happy till date, no one tries it for it increased my moral to tell him my dos and don't at anytime and he gives me respect now.

candlewax:
With kid

house, also he has a business that he said he wants to sell because he plans relocating to asaba to his family

Martinez39:
Lol. Don't let my sandwich burn.

Martinez39:
Lol. I never tried to push the responsibility to the woman. Taking care of the kids isn't as hard as you try to put it but it's hard. As they begin to grow, you teach them to be responsible and learn how to get things done. How do you know she is doing everything by herself? Have you met his wife before? Stop the unintelligent haste to assume things. #Equality

highcollide:
She's a feminist who believes men should treat women how they expect women to treat men

Martinez39:
Lol. Don't mind cococandy. She has too much free time on her hands that's why she is talking like this. Oya cococandy, go into the kitchen and make me a sandwich, I am hungry. Hurry up. When you are through, let's get down to business proper this night 'cos work has really been stressful.

Martinez39:
Lol. You sound as if kids need their parents' presence 24/7. While the kids are in school, both parents can go to work. Even if she does night shifts, she and her husband should provide money, food and the children must learn to stay at home behave until mum comes back from work. Didn't you sometimes stay and managed yourself at home while your mum and dad were away for a while? Hian!

I am not saying that the money he is giving is enough for both kid but if that's all he has, he and his wife should double their hustle. We are now in the age of equality not tradition, both must now work to support their families. I didn't say he shouldn't give her money o.

gloria34:
uncle calm down na, jail go teach am sense. Funny how he is a married man with three wives and kids

Martinez39:
the wife stays with her family.

Martinez39:
What if that's what he can afford? The mother too can also go and work?

hotspec:
Yes I am. and yes she is better off... But I live in South west Nigeria, and I believe if ure truly married and have ever faced any challenge from ur in laws, u will understand me. Dt story I summarised in 3 lines, if I should give u d full gist, it will be up to 500 pages of A4 paper, front and back.

did I mention my inlaws (I mean her father and mother came to beat me one night) just because we were having issues and she called them (we live in d same town). dt day she left home since 9am and came back around to 9 in d night, without telling where she was going to since dt morning. so I told her to go back to where she was coming from.

that was it, d next thing was to called her parents who came to pack her things. her father broke my door with his leg. and started beating me.


it was in my house one day dt her mother told her that she's too dull and dt is why I'm dictating to her. dt if it's her Elder sister (who is also now a single mother) she would have locked d husband, tear her cloth and beat him. since dt day, any little misunderstanding, she will pounce on me, tear my cloth and neat me. I can show u pictures of tore cloths. twice I've been to police station to report her.


madam, I can drop my digits for anyone who cares to listen to d full gist. my story is verifiable. I have loads of evidence to support my claims.

hotspec:
Wife's parent are d one controlling her. after several attempts to severe her relationship with them was unsuccessful. divorce was successful. shez back with her parents now, and she's d one doing d cooking and washing for them.

hotspec:
for good 3 years I warned her. I only owe her 6k pernmonth to take care of d 2 children as court ruled

tizan:
I respect your opinion but as for me, I don't think lying to me while looking into my eyes, and then lying to maintain the lie (for months) is a flimsy issue in a marriage. I also don't think collecting money from your ex on more than one occasion when married is a trivial issue to raise. Neither do I think your ex dropping you off at your husband's house is a flimsy issue in a marriage. I can go on.

tizan:
Mine is a bit different. It's about how my marriage is going to end. As negative as it may sound, I currently feel I will have to bring and end to this marriage in order to be happy.

The problems:
Keeping secrets and telling lies about everything from past relationships to whether she had dinner. Once visited a male friend without my knowledge. Still passing off an ex as a family friend, and keeping that relationship (platonic or not) going till today. Just to name a few.

And it's not just about ex's. The lies and deceit from her are at a level I never imagined I would have a personal experience of, and with marriage I have realized; unfortunately for me, that it runs in their family. For example, I found out after marriage that the house she took me to meet her parents is not their house. And everyone in their family played along.

My curiosity was aroused when I noticed her deleting chats from her phone about two days after the wedding but it faded in the excitement of that period. I was intrigued further when I observed another red flag phone conversation after two weeks while still adjusting to the new status, and then I knew something was not right. So I decided to investigate some of my concerns and the stuff I have found make my heart sink. I realize I am being betrayed repeatedly and now have virtually lost trust in her words, actions and intentions.

Let me add that I never expected an angel, we're human and are all liable to lie and stuff like that, but with her its like a deep rooted problem and I find that I can't deal with it. I'm too open and straight-forward to be matched up with a pathological liar.

I have confronted her on some of the lesser lies (e.g she lied about her salary on a job she got through my network, lied that she didn't do MMM whereas she did twice, lies to maintain her previous lies, and just lying even when it's unnecessary). I have had to be playing the fool just to get enough information to confront her with when the time comes. Because I don't want to bring up a situation that will leave room for any family members and their expected begging, or reconciliation.

I am glad now that I did not question her immediately. Now that I know her much more from living together, I realize she would have just told more lies to cover up and blocked my means of finding out once she found out my method of getting info, and I wouldn't have gotten all the additional information I have now. I know a lying is an essential ingredient of cheating, and I am only anticipating catching her red-handed on a matter of faithfulness, and that's it.

For those who say some comments here are from people making out to be victims and not confessing their own shortcomings, I say with a sense of seriousness, DON'T JUDGE. And I sincerely pray you don't find yourself in these types of circumstances. As for me though, I have become more irritable and tend to over-react at times. For example, I have reacted physically, though regrettably, on two separate occasions in the early days of my discoveries, but now I'm not as shocked anymore and find it easier to keep my cool. Additionally, I don't show as much care as I can, and probably don't regard her with the kind of respect she deserves as my Mrs. The love has diminished. But that's what happens when trust flies out of the window.

What I've written above does not do the situation justice as it's not possible to capture everything in a few paragraphs, but overall I have not been genuinely happy for months and want out for sure.

Please note that I am not looking for sympathy or consolation as I know what I've gotten myself into. I'm just sharing so that someone can learn from my experience, and also hoping to read others' experiences as well.

HomeOfMe:
I feel your pain. Dress responsibly if you wan to be treated right,truth is bitter.

HomeOfMe:
The way some girls/lady present themselves in a way that's degrading is the reason why some useless men would not think twice before treating them like trash. The way you dress in public is very import. They say dress the way you wan to be addressed. I twitter handler yesterday said,"If baboons had money,girls won't mind to live in the bush",just imagine. This is really demeaning and girls are the cause. Why would a useless man see a respectably dressed woman and think of doing this?,the thought would not even cross their mind because you're properly dressed. I hope she gets justice.