₦airaland Forum

Lol @bold.

Onegai:
Only a feminist will tell a woman with bruises all over her body to leave her marriage. Because feminists lie and are suffering much worse but coming to crow online. Right?

Do you know on that same thread talking about this case, a female poster said "oh this is my life right now. I didn't go to church today because the beating of yesterday was so bad. God help me".

My jaw dropped. Someone is seeing how a similar story to hers ended in murder and she's still sitting there, contemplating if God will send a knight in shining armour for her (rather than use her brain and her legs).

Talking about finances, this one that just died is a banker o.

Hello dear. Where have you been?

Chillisauce:
My dear you go tire. Naija ladies like suffer too much.
Don't waste your time jare. Who go leave go leave. No be person go tell you.

I wonder where they kept common sense. You see your self in danger..the first thing to do is defend yourself or get outta of it. No way. They prefer to die...I'm sure this is not the first time he beat her. They will rather call on god . After giving you brains...you waiting for pastor and daddy's to tell you what to do.

Everyone is suddenly chanting "why didn't she leave?"
Let the story die down and you make the same comment elsewhere, then you're tagged the evil divorce advocate even though you haven't said anything slightly different from what everyone else is saying now.

Whatever rocks their both jare.

I'd rather use my post to advice those who are alive than type R.I.P for the dead.

Ngwanu the everlasting children of God and marriage preservers should come and congratulate her on being together till death do them part.
Nonsense.

Mindfulness:
Cococandy, thanks for quoting this beautiful piece. How did I miss it?
Finally someone who understands that life is not all black and white and sees all the other beautiful colors.

i love broad minded folks

Send me a PM please.

Godzchild:
Goodmorning,thanks onegai for ur suggestion.however I have tried to raise cash on my own and it failed hence the need to seek help online.I know people are skeptical about the whole strory but still nothing is impossible for God.whomsoever dat is going to confirm me will do so.Iwas given hhospital list which I have to fulfill as the obligation required in government hospital.Facebook friends and all that doesn't mean they can help in times of trouble,family too can fail,help can come anywhere that's why am here.iaddressed my inlaw issue in my first post.@piddgin,thanks for always sounding mean,I pray life always gives u the best and u never make a mistake.yes I am stressed with all the front and back issues but wen u need help u will keep trying till u are sorted.God bless us all

Dunce

sinceraconcept:
Read my comment properly lady,i never supported beating of a woman,even though beating might set in at times,but it shouldn't be up to 5%,just small small correction might set in because some women do beat their man too if they think the man is a mumu,i never said I supported beating and threatening to kill a woman but women must watch how they speak to their husband. Some women that gets beaten by a patient husband(i'm not talking about dog useless husband's that don't know about anything than beating) because of the way she treats him,some women curse,pull a man's shirt aand you expect the man you're pulling his expensive not to slap you to leave you alone? And you'll start shouting to the whole world he beat and afterall you're the one that started cursing him,lucking him up and trying to beat him. Women are good trouble makers and you'll come to nairaland insulting men like we usually have all the fault and most fault comes from you women. 
At times,without strong evidence,women just conclude and next thing,she has already locked the man and try to strangle him and if he slaps you to save his life,you'll start shouting he beat you. 
African culture is not about enslavement,its teaching women how to be respectful,teaching wowmen how to live a decent matrimonial life. A cultural woman is going to really enjoy her husband till death tears them apart but a westernised woman will always get the beatings of her life. You're stuck on telemundo and that is delaying you from doing what you're supposed to do,food gets burnt,food gets delayed,children are in school crying cos you've not gone to pick them up because of the way western civilisation has brainwash you and you expect even a patient man not to come home switch off that telemundo. And the next thing "honey switch on that tv,........ we both have equal right in this house" next thing you lock his nice shirt and want to strangle him and you expect him not to slap you to save his life? or push you away,but the next thing,you'll start telling everyone your husband has turned you to punching bag. 
You said a lot of women endure marriage and not enjoy,so do a lot of men endures marriage and not enjoy,babe stop acting like men are the cause of emotional pain to women,some women are also very bad and dangerous. You force a man to live telemundo life that he's not used to,someone else's culture,if he can't live it,you'll start shouting around that he's not romantic,he's not a good husband,he's wicked,he's enslaving his woman. Why not tell your telemundo people to adopt our african culture too? Afterall you're African 
In the name of western civilization,women want to turn African men to fools,the romantic man to them is the man that washes pant and bra for them,the man that helps them carry their bag,if a man can't do all of that,he's not romantic and not a good husband and even if a man does all of that for you,the next thing is you take him for granted because he's too nice to you,next thing,because he's tolerant and supportive of anything you want,next thing you join politics and expect him to support you,next thing you start sleeping with co-politicians for political appointments and power and the husband,Mr Romantic becomes your houseboy,next thing you tell lies and file for divorce because you think you're superior to him cos you're sleeping with powerful people in the society. You can't telemundo us here.

Zero sense

JoeDebby:
No one seem to have even asked the important question, what might have led to the fracas that ultimately resulted in the death of Ronke? We are often too quickl to focus on the effects while losing sights of the cause. Sometimes kantakerous attitudes of some women can provoke a man to unleash uncontrollable wrath which can lead to an ugly incidence like murder. But that does not justify wife battering or even murdering a spouse. While dating, unmarried people should be meticulous in selecting their mates so as to avoid losing their salvation untimely.

What's her crime?

I couldn't have said it better.

And I must say that it's oddly satisfying to know that someone else finds it utterly ridiculous how these kind of threads always find its way to become an issue of feminism.

Don't even start on silly conspiracy theories about western propaganda .

darkenedrebel:
gay couple . . .feminism . . .homosexuality. . .feminism. . gender equality. . .feminism. . .feminism. . .gender role. . .feminism. . .more feminism. . . . .the unvaried & stodgy pattern of discourse in Nairaland's family section.

. . . . . . . . .
on first instinct, majority would greatly shudder at the thought of being raised as an infant by two males or two females, myself included.

I mean, imagine growing as a child knowing fully well that you are never gonna be at receiving end of a mother's love. . .or as a male child raised by two women; the prospect of lacking a father that would take you to the stadium to watch local föötie, teach you to drive a car and the fact that you'd be deprived of the innumerable perks that are usually tacked with a healthy father-and-son relationship just makes the mere thought of being raised by a homôsexual couple an all too abstracted concept.

on the flip side, right-wing conservatives need to lapse a bit in their injudicious & ignorant pontifications . . .a liberal & enlightened man/woman claims he/she finds no wrong in two consenting adults making out or holds no brief against the legalization of gay marriage and the next thing you're doing the slow burn and branding them as brain-washed individuals.

the more deluded ones would go further to claim that we have been hoodwinked by western propaganda. I'm usually gobsmacked at the level of sterling stüpidity & obtuseness that is put on display by the so-called lettered persons on this forum. I mean, what western propaganda? is homosexuality employed sub Rosa to kick start a world war III? is homosexuality an invention of the White man? Jesus Christ!!.

i think some people need to have their brains sent to Bob the fixer - since we can make penicillin out of a mouldy bread, then perhaps we can still make something sensible find its way out of their counterproductive brains. if you cannot come to terms with the fact that we as humans have variegated weltanschauungs, then you really are an idïot.

personally, i don't think a child raised by two hômosexuals is anything to yackety-yak about. especially when you look at the lives of serial-killers, cannibals, the manic depraved, gang-bangërs, the depressed lot, murderers, armed robbers, rapïsts etcetera, only to discover that 80% of them were raised by heterosëxuals.

use your search engines . .. .John Dilinger, The Unabomber, John Wayne Gacy, Aileen Wournos and 10 million other very malignant & debased individuals were all raised by heterôsexuals.

we also have kids raised by single-parents that turned out to be very responsible & morally upright. . . . .if a kid, f'rinstance was raised by a single-mum and turned out to be a forbisen of everything positive then what damage could be done if that same kid were to be raised by two mums?. . especially if the two moms are characteristically collateral as the single-mom. . see? logic. . .

bottom line, being raised by two hëterosexuals is not a ticket to happiness and being raised by two hômosexuals is not a sure path towards doom.

A very beautiful day

Mindfulness:
Instead of hating, they should put more energy into developing their own countries.

Let me stop here. It's a beautiful day!

Well...

ifyalways:
She must be extremely neat to look that clean for someone bathing in a canal and sleeping on the streets.

I live in Nigeria and understand the streets. It's gonna be near impossible for a woman, her age( ability to work, feed herself) , not disabled in any way, no clinging baby NOT to get family, friend or stranger to accommodate her.

Isolate this case, show me where you have read/heard/ seen such a story especially in the western part of Nigeria. Keywords:
Can fend for self
Is not pregnant
Have no baby
Is not sick
Things might be tough for her,I agree but to say this woman is sleeping out on the streets, that's a lie!!!!

There's nothing to be said on the subject that hasn't been said before.

May she rest in peace

She's very beautiful.

ifyalways:
Hmmmn.

She looks quite neat for someone sleeping out on the streets.
She has a phone in her hands.
Where are her parents, siblings, friends? None of them could accommodate her or even offer her balcony for her to squat?

Sorry, I ain't buying this story. Yoruba's are very accommodating people. They accommodate strangers, can even let you sleep/squat on their balcony so long as you go find your daily bread in the mornings and return in the evening. Go check TBS, isale eko etc.

It could be true. She might have owned the phone before being sent out.
And the story does say she has a canal where she bathes and does laundry.

Mindfulness:
So a man can throw his wife out and deprive her of her children just like this? And he can do it even though the woman passed the worst thing that can happen to a mother, which is to lose a child?

What nonsense, lawless country is it?
Where are the authorities?


GOSH!

That's why nairaland men hate 'the west'.
Because you can't get away with such rubbish here hence the west is the devil's abode where the men are being emasculated for not being allowed to have authority over their wives as they would a lowly slave.

Seen

postmann:
Her only option is separation. As long as she remains married to him, she MUST accept his headship. The call of marriage for women is to build with her husband, assist him, and be under his authority.

For the man, he is to love her and provide for her.

There's no two ways about it. Our traditions say so. Our religion echoes it. And she was married under these oaths and vows, to be loyal and subject to her husband.

I think feminists are godless hypocrites. You got married under the Christian law, and avowed by its precepts, then she turns around and tries to rewrite the laws of their bond. This is madness.

Headship doesn't mean superiority. Even in the Christian faith, the Pope is by no means superior. But by virtue of duty and designation, there are certain provisions that go with headship.

In every human institution, there must be someone in church. Even in religious gathering, there must be someone in charge. As a people and nation, there must be someone in charge. Someone to be held accountable. A situation where everyone is in charge is a mad house. The marriage institution is no exception. The man is in charge. And it doesn't make him superior to his wife. Not even his children.

Feminism is chaos and rebellion. It's a matter of greed, hiding under the shadow of the modern man's wisdom which is driven by strong delusion and ungodly freedom.

postmann:
Her role in being his wife means she is subject to his headship and authority. So, the answer is no.

The man's role is to place her before himself in a resealable context.

If she's his subject, that makes her inferior to him.
And if she has no choice than to support him when he needs but he gets to choose when to support or not, that means the marriage is all about his convenience and desires.

That's exactly what you've said. You can't have it both ways.

I'm just intrigued that with this mindset, you still have the guts to accuse feminists of a whole lot of untrue things when in fact you should be the one working on changing your perspective towards women.

postmann:
You still misunderstand me. A man ought to assist his wife if she needs his help in even domestic chores. There's nothing wrong with that.

However, she must call for such help when she's genuinely in need of it and not out of laziness. And knows that it is his prerogative to object or accept.

I'm getting you alright. You placed the man's desires above that of his wife. Meaning that you still consider the marriage all about the man.

Is it her prerogative to accept or object helping her husband even when he's genuinely in need?

Yes or no?

Lol lol lol. you were caught fair and square.

Truth is that I don't disagree with you. A woman is supposed to support her husband in any area that he needs support. That's what partnership is all about. Else who needs to get married if not that two hands are easier than one?

But you fail to agree that a man should support his wife in her duties and at anytime that she needs support. Which is what makes us different.

Your approach is selfish and gives the impression that marriage is all centered on the man; what he wants & desires and his convenience.

postmann:

You weaved your Web very well but I still remain uncaught.

A woman can not be idle. Yet working not because her husband needs her financial input is my key point. Women have always worked as far as recorded history is concerned. They've always engaged in light farming and weaving.

The problem with the modern woman is that her work interferes with her traditional role. And this I detest. There are few works that dont.

A woman is to assist her husband in any capacity he may require. And if he requires her financial assistance, well that's for the two of them.

So obviously you have nothing against women working. you have no case against feminists then.not that feminism is about gender roles anyway.I'm Just following your own logic.

If you're a strict adherent of gender roles, then you probably shouldn't be cool with woman labor.
But no you don't have problems with that.
Funny how feminist haters only remember gender roles when the topic is about a man doing feminine duties but have no problems with women helping the man in his duties.

And we are the ones who want to eat our cakes and have it?

postmann:
One of the qualities of a virtuous woman is not being idle. So a woman ought to work. But the ideal situation is that her work shouldn't interfere with raising her young infant. And her work doesn't take first place before her husband.

Yes, the one who works to support her husband because they desperately need her contribution will have more pressures and emotional stress to deal with that a woman who works otherwise.

postmann:
A woman who works not out of the need for money to support her husband but to keep body and soul fit is a lucky woman.

What about the one who works to support her husband. Unlucky?
Do you agree with women working to support their families?

postmann:
Both genders are equal in basic fundamental rights. Like right to education, freedom, security free speech, you name it.

But there are roles; gender specific roles. And this is where the problem is. And this is what the feminists want to obliterate by all means yet they want men to consider their weakness. They simply want their cakes back.

What kind of gender roles? Like women not bringing money to the family?

If both genders aren't equal, then one must be superior. I don't get people who say they don't support equality yet won't agree that they consider one gender superior.

It's simple English na. Is the English I speak different from the one others do?

postmann:
I've never said women are inferior. Truth is they're not. But the definition of the equality they seek is madness. The equality they seek has no gender consideration. And as a result is not attainable.

You want 50% of top executive positions in banks and all the other top blue chip firms, but no one gets to hear them feminists say the women in war fronts are almost nonexistent.

When you hear the scream of a rape victim in a dark alley, you know she's physically vulnerable as a woman, you try to come to her aid. This is gender equity not equality.

When you see a pregnant woman in a train or bus standing or in a long bank queue, courtesy demands you assist her. This is gender equity or consideration, not equality.

The examples go on.

Gender equality means there are no gender roles in the society. So it favours women to talk about gender equity. Women won't survive a society where men see them as equals in certain regards.


I know so many women who drive their own cars but can't change a flat tyre. That's just a perfect illustration of a feminism.

Of course I'll be grateful to him if that should happen. Although I must make it clear that I in no way expect him to play the hero and risk his life for me. I'd rather we both sit tight and comply with whatever the assailant wants than one or both of us die over it.

Thing is you generalized over women not being grateful as per wars fought in the past and I replied via same generalization.
You didn't make room for individual cases where things might be different.

Now If we are to consider ourselves inferior and not claim equality to men because you guys supposedly do things we can't do like fight wars, doesn't it follow that guys too should be considered inferior for not being able to do some of the things we can do?

Each gender is different and uniquely so. None is superior to the other. Hence the fight for equality.

Gosh I can't believe I'm going into the diatribe again.

Okay bye.

postmann:
Your point sound reasonable and sophisticated but, I'm sorry it has no bearing to truth and reality.

A good example is this. Daddy is home with you and mommy. And there's a greedy covetous armed robber who broke into the home at night, but daddy was apt and swift to knock him off his balls. Will you tell daddy that you won't be grateful for his intervention and protection because the assailant was a man?

There would always be an aggressor. There will always be a threat to peace and security and men who risk their lives selflessly to preserve their society deserves a heroes' gratitude for all time.

The world has been deceived to think this peace will last forever. But a time of war and chaos and total disorder is approaching. Driving by famine, severe hunger, lawlessness and greed. And men will be highly sought after to defend their homes and community.

Hope he's not shooting himself in the foot

Kaira333:
Dear all, Its OK. Enough of all these stress. She might be fake or real but please anyone dat has something to offer should just do it and leave d rest for God. If she is faking all those things just to scam , she should know dat she is bringing curse and hardship to herself. In case u don't have or u don't wish to help please be calm b4 u say something dat will make God unhappy with you. Sister in case ur story is real I sincerely feel for u especially for d innocent unborn child.

its not too hard to be straight forward na.
Anyway I hope the verifying parties hurry up if she's for real before she puts to bed without the essentials she needs.

Oh I see what you mean.

Well who caused these wars to start with?
You can't start wars and expect us to be grateful you fought them. (Not that we aren't.)

But on what leg will men stand on to accuse us of ingratitude for the wars they fought when most of the wars were caused by their greed,covetousness and lust for power, other men's lands/property and wives. On this your point, I think men owe the world an apology for most of the wars ever fought.

It's the height of conceit to think that we owe you guys gratitude for them.

Even though we are because we are nice like that.

My opinion

postmann:
I think your curiosity is genuine. Well, lemme give you a tip of what I meant by feminists have little sense of gratitude.

For every civilization that survived; for every village boundary that exists; for every culture and freedom that persists have been paid for and sustained by the blood of men. Men who fought and lost their lives to ward off tyrants that their generation and lineage will survive. And now that there is relative peace, some greedy, ungrateful thieves who call themselves feminists, who didn't have a sense of history to know on what foundation stood this peace are claiming equality and spewing gender trash.
But should Cameroon invade Nigeria now, it is the men that will answer the call to duty to preserve their father's land from aggression while the feminists will sit back and wait for a time of peace to spew some gender trash.


Now you've been served.

postmann:
When I say no, now is not the time, that's exactly what I mean. I'll answer that later.

postmann:
I would have. But freecocoa doesn't deserve to have my explanation. During the course of this thread, I might or in subsequent pertinent thread.

Dodge ball.

Marvel1206:
Can you pls reply my pm?

If you'd kindly state what it's pertaining to.
I might.

postmann:
My question has been answered. You re distinct from freecocoa. And that means you have come to join hands with her.

But I'll let you pass. Now's not the time.

Don't let me pass. Just answer the question.
I wonder why you're on the defensive like this.
It's just a simple matter of clarifying what you mean in a short precise post.

Not like those long term-paper posts.

Not joining things with anyone.
I've just been following the thread and your comment about gratitude seemed off.

Was wondering what special thing feminists aren't grateful for. And what gratitude has to do with the topic. if you could kindly explain.

postmann:
Have you come to join hands with your friend against me or is freecocoa your alternate?