₦airaland Forum

I have come to justify men (Naija) going on a knee to propose because, in traditional marriage, women go down on their knees.

I think it is beautiful when a woman, who is surprised, goes down on a knee to receive the proposal.

I think she carried the husband to her house.

ebexofficial:
Wow, she sef don carry go husband house.
No more ministry and vigil
1 member gone

Magnolia swallows Western "men are inherently bad and have priviledge" talking points hook, line & sinker.

Poco, seemed to think that Nigerian men are just bad. Like she had given up on Naija men (due to her experiences), hence the "bitter".

These are what I recall from my interactions with both monikers.

Are magnolia & pocohontas (& begoniaa) the same person

begoniaa:
Shall we address this now... So tell me... a self-described identity that has done one or two things there... how? Which things? How have I been bitter?

Nne, you have a job in Nigeria.

How can you transfer the qualifications in the States? Have you started the process?

Also, as a pharmacist, you should/may be able to gain admission for a Masters or even something else like Nurse Practitioner, or Physician Assistant.

This makes an earlier comment more relevant: if you guys are unsure of marriage, perhaps a "real relationship", including the physical nearness (not necessarily living together) would help firm up the decision in you guys' minds.

Frankly, you may decide that you don't want to marry him

Iamyemmie:
I am a pharmacist,I have a job and I am ok

I can't disagree.

All those guys will find out soon enough.

Bla bla bla "but I love her".

Take them to club, even house party now, they will be seeing visions.

begoniaa:
Shey this is what I am always saying... y'all that are very impressionable.

One small breast, sex, food, rebranding... and you are falling all over yourselves already.

Make una advise homegirl here now instead of swearing on moderately cupped left glands.

siofra:
You're a very insincere person. I told you to show me where I insulted you and you're bringing up another thing.

My beef is with you. I have never reported you when you insult Nigerian girls I ignore but when you insult me directly, that's the only time I report.

So because the breast is not big, that's why it's okay to cybersexually harass me. I swear this you people's mentality ehn, very disgusting!

I'll continue mentioning you when you type rubbish.

Come, Bia,

What work will you do in the abroad?

If you guys have not discussed you career there, that may be what is making him think that you will milk him.

Even if he is one of those "Alfa Mails" who say that their wives won't work. For your own good, get a career, healthcare is one.

Naija girls who travel have insane work ethic. They almost always earn good money, even udner table (food, hair).

SERIOUSLY consider healthcare related work if you have nothing planned.

Iamyemmie:
Hi everyone, so me and my bf have been dating for 2years + now, no issues. He’s in the states and I am in Nigeria.

The problem started when I started talking about marriage cos I want to settle down.
Now he told me he feels I want to use him to travel abroad, that statement really pissed me off because at the beginning of the relationship he was the one that wanted to marry like 3months after we started but I told him I wasn’t ready and I didn’t know him enough.

So which one is I want to use him to travel now??

I feel like maybe because I keep talking about the marriage stuff, that’s why he thinks it’s because of traveling.

I’m thinking it’s only break up that can solve the issue. Cos if it comes from me, then that’s a clear message I’m not dating for abroad
Or how do I solve this issue??

Ps he has been U.S citizen from the beginning of our relationship.
Just didn’t accept cos he might be a serial killer or woman beater or something, I didn’t know him well enough.

Leave the boys. Listen to the men.

She's playing her cards right. Our abroad boy is looking for someone to not use him, and is listening to bad stories.

HE could always do prenup (but what usually happens is that the lady will travel & start earning mad money).

NoToPile:
I just don't understand all these romance section boys.

She marries him within 3 months wahala they will call her a gold digger

She says she doesn't know him well enough to marry within 3 months she also get blamed for it.

Ooooo. Yes Aunty Poco.

Na you be dis.

begoniaa:
Mtcheeewww.

Is it poco's name that's harding you to mention? E say e forget. Forget, my yansh.

Lool.
You are absolutely right. People are blind when they want to be.

Also, all these Alfa Mails with their rules are laughable. Any lady (and ladies are smarter than men in this relationship thing) can easily play them, tick all their boxes, and still control the relationship. Especially in the abroad.

These Alfa Mails are setup to fail.

People need to come correct: males & females.

begoniaa:
Shey if I talk now, you will say I am attacking men unnecessarily.

Look at how "EVERY" guy is suddenly faulting a woman for rejecting a marriage proposal from a guy living in the US. When they've only known each other for three months.

But if the same lady accepted and kasala burst, they will be the one to come here castigating her on how she is not a prudent woman.

"Emancipate yourself from mental slavery".

usagee36:
Well Goodluck. I am good with my white women over here.

IS it you? It's another lady. She also posts on the food sections. An OG on the NL streets.

begoniaa:
It's how you admitted to me being bitter and fighting gender wars right to my face to me to me...

I can see someone proposing marriage to someone they hitherto knew but only DATED for 3 months. Especially if they're older than 27.

If it is someone completely new, that is crazy. I personally think at least 2 years.

I would point out that some other conditions could hasten marriage. E.g: I know of at least 1 couple that met in a group for single people planning (seriously) to japa. They met ~ 2019 in Nigeria, married late 2019, japa-ed in 2020 and already have 2 kids.

begoniaa:
Why are you adding conditions? Women can be studied in three months, and you obviously believe the guy in the story above has done due diligence to study her in three months?

Lol... so a lady that accepts your marriage proposal after three months of just meeting you is prudent not desperate?

You can marry a woman you don't know from Adam in three months?

Come-on, let's not act like beginners.

People, of various self-ascribed "identities", have done these things you mentioned.

Magnolia comes to mind, but I haven't interacted or seen her (if the handle is really female) in months. There are others. There's another lady who is a bit older and purposefully bitter, I forget her username now.

All these gender fights are super stupid.

begoniaa:
Which feminist do you see running amok, calling men all sort of names and creating denigrating threads about them? What is weird about believing in equality and the humanness of women?

Can you count how many times threads about women get to the front-page and those guys flock to it as usual, talking down on women and using slurs on them?

You guys haven't been intimate but have seen many times??

He has been watching too many bad stories about imported wives.

Some Naija girls abroad may be accusing him of looking for a "small girl who doesn't know anything" (which is usually false) to "use".

I think you need to hit this issue head on. Explain to him that you too are wary. Send him the many videos of husbands maltreating or even ending (deleting) their imported wives. If you search "Obodo Oyinbo" on Youtube, you will find a channel that has these stories like water.
Explain to him with examples of how you have not overreached so far. Also tell him that his doubt is personally hurtful (if you are sincere). Tell him you would like to see him, that this is a serious conversation. Tell him that you are not interested in going where you are not wanted.

Iamyemmie:
Thanks for the advice
To answer your questions
-He came to see me last December he left January
-No we did not(we met when he came to visit his parents in Nigeria)
-Yes he comes everywhere and I go to meet him at his parent’s house
-Yes he brings stuffs for me when he comes and he gives me money
-We talk and chat everyday and video calls too
We talk atleast 10hrs a day
-Yes he introduced me to all his family members and they call me too

Our relationship is solid to me ,don’t know where this is coming from

Loool

3 months marriage? Even his family will try to block it.

begoniaa:
✏ ✏ Oh, I have also learnt today that if a US-based guy asks for my hand in marriage, three months after our first meeting, accepting it is PRUDENT of me.

That doesn't make me a desperado beech looking for a green card to japa and milk him.

We do if we met our wives in person in Naija.

We could if we love & trust them.

usagee36:
Haha guess you met him online. My dear sister forget him because men from here don't import anymore. Too many bad stories.

Break up with him.

I am an abroadian boyfriend. The only reason I even pursued the lady in question is because I saw my wife in her. If marriage is not the goal, there is little point in abroad-Naija relationship.

From his point of view, I can see his fears. That just shows that the trust is not there, and he should break up with you.

Alternatively, you two could try to get you to come as a student to the States. That way, you two could have a normal relationship, NO STRINGS ATTACHED. If you two still want to marry, great, if not, you separate.

Iamyemmie:
Hi everyone, so me and my bf have been dating for 2years + now, no issues. He’s in the states and I am in Nigeria.

The problem started when I started talking about marriage cos I want to settle down.
Now he told me he feels I want to use him to travel abroad, that statement really pissed me off because at the beginning of the relationship he was the one that wanted to marry like 3months after we started but I told him I wasn’t ready and I didn’t know him enough.

So which one is I want to use him to travel now??

I feel like maybe because I keep talking about the marriage stuff, that’s why he thinks it’s because of traveling.

I’m thinking it’s only break up that can solve the issue. Cos if it comes from me, then that’s a clear message I’m not dating for abroad
Or how do I solve this issue??

Ps he has been U.S citizen from the beginning of our relationship.
Just didn’t accept cos he might be a serial killer or woman beater or something, I didn’t know him well enough.

You gave no details with which one could help you.

- What type of visa?
- Duration of visa?
- Did she apply for a job at the same time?
- Did you and her TOGETHER fill & upload the documents.

Questions questions.

Zeekaycn:
Dear Nairalanders!
I need info on this matter that's troubling me now. 2months ago my Fiance applied for a visa to stay in the UK, through the help of her far relative that stays there and the visa had been approved. The issue now is we have struggled to raise the money and up till now not yet completed. Funny thing is, this guy is saying now that he doesn't have any place to accommodate my fiance.

I'm scared of her going with just a million Naira. How can she cop before she finally get a job. We don't even know the situation there accomodation and cost of things.

This traveling thing was never in her mind but her elder sister who serves as her guidance keep pushing that she must leave. Don't even know if my relationship with her will still work afterward though we planned that when she gets there I may later join her.

Please who knows how it is to start up life in the UK? I'm troubled, we where supposed to get married before she travel but I gat pause.

Your medical school is the most important thing in your life.

My friend, as a doctor, a Nigerian qualified doctor, the world is your oyster.

Could you reduce your work by half and manage that until you finish?

This is a sad post imo.

donnie56:
Hello everyone,
I am in dire need of your honest advice. I am a fan of Nairaland but created this because of identity.
I am a medical student studying medicine in one of the public universities in Nigeria. When the ASUU strike newly started, I started looking for things to do and clients to work for. Fortunately, I got two clients who pay me about 200K per month since April. It varies; last month, I earned 199K, this month will be 220K+ if I work harder.
I have saved most of the money to write professional exams.
However, my school still conducts lectures through Zoom and we have not had rest since the strike started. We do have classes from 8am till 5pm except on some days. I am about three months back and our test is coming up soon.
Please do you advise I quite my 200k/per month and focus on my studies seeing that i have lots of materials to read and prepare for my test?
P.S: I have tried balancing but the freelance work is highly demanding. What do i do please?

Lalasticlala please help. Push this to front page. Thank you.

Have you heard of SCRATCH?

Newusername:
Good afternoon educated fellows.
I am about to get a job that entails teaching children how to code., children in primary schools most likely. But I don't know how to go about it in terms of the materials to use. Please I need contributions on what to use to make them understand and most importantly what materials anything at all. I am supposed to return before the weeks runs out.
@ fynestboi please help me push

That's why justice is not fair or equal.

We Nigerians need to find a way to subsidize important, even small scale lawsuits.

Klass99:
They don't pay you reliably, as and when due, which money do you now want to use to sue? Pls look for something new and better.

Taking notes: "marry wife wey go cook different things. Person wey dey adventurous for kitchen".

ama19:
Thanks very much.

That's why you need something different for a change. Your body go thank you o

Actually, I think a proper red pill education would be good for a man like this.

Red pill, as I understood it, is supposed to be about removing the artificial, manufactured by TV, need to be washed by women(not necessarily one). It stops one from making grandiose gestures or trying to "win" a lady. It admonishes men to focus on themselves and their talents.

Such a man needs to focus on himself, grow up, calm down.

FERNANDEZISBACK:
Insecure man..
Later they say they can do without women..

This is what most wannabe redpillers will do once they get rejected..why do you think they despise women?cos they got rejected..

Modified:Fp again.. .. seriously what's the problem with most men and insecurity tho..can't you understand it..I ain't interested..
Must these dumbo wannabe redpillers display their lack of intelligence?
How can you do this to a lady cos she rejected ya...
Glad she said no...dude might murder her in the relationship...

The man should be sentenced to life imprisonment for this..

I hope they have a lovely life together.

People should stop assuming that everyone in Nigeria is a scammer.

I wish them love and understanding.

Idris Elba has regularly been deemed the most attractive man.

Is that also racist?

Saintmary:
For some interesting reason, only Caucasians are the "most attractive" in the world.


Is it not obvious to you that these people have limited brains that can't process the beauty in other races?


Or where should we place Naomi Campbell, Aishwarya and millions of other stunning beauties sprinkled evenly all over this planet?



Gosh.


P. S. The hair, the nose, the lips on this guy is already irritating to me, even plain brad pitt is a little better.


Where is that Arabian Model's picture, I could have shown you drop dead handsomeness.

NBA, how you dey do 5 hours nonstop.

I've done that before but prefer to stop every 2 - 3 hours. Even if I'm not tired.

MALIGNANTGuest:
Approaching LAS Vegas now, after almost uninterrupted 5hrs on the road...
Also encountered many Families going for Summer Vacation!

Love the video. Aunty, your voice is strong and very good for Youtube. We can clearly hear you, nice.

I will be making okra soon. . It's such an affordable and accessible soup option, even in the abroad.

Personally, I would cook the fish for 10 to 15 minutes. I would then grill it for 10 to 20 minutes before serving.

I would add in the okra without the fish being in the pot. When the okra soup is like almost done cooking, I would then add the fish and vegetables simultaneously.

Merci.

gloryhomemaker:
Easy and quick Okro soup recipe.



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TM21icVxTYw

This is great news. I hope we become a hub, that'll be tens of thousands of jobs.

What do you know so far about Canada? Also, what is your profile? Do you have some education? A skill? Can you do health aide job?

I heard people are being hired from Nigeria directly to do health aide job in the UK.

What are your experiences, etc.

You need to go through these types of questions. You probably need a more tailored advice.

Alternatively, read through many of the threads. You'll learn more and have more confident options to consider.

One question I think was/is pertinent is: "who wrote what, and how do we ascertain the veracity?" Veracity of the claimed author, veracity of the claimed events, etc.

sageb:
@cooooooks come and tell us why?

As far as I know, without a job offer, Canada is not hiring Care Attendants directly.

zubixone:
@AdaNdigwe
I m concluding my diploma in care course after getting my care cert from another source. Maybe Canada or Austria may consider. ...hustling continues.