₦airaland Forum

midnighter:
Youre talking about "soft targets" rather than objective facts. We may not like it, we may not be comfortable with it, we may not accept it, yet its still permitted by tradition so its possible on first principles.

The one youre talking about is saying no, kicking against it, threatening divorce, calling family meeting and other things that you do to make your displeasure known. All of that may work, somewhere down the line.

But in the first place the point is that if youre not sleeping with the guy and you dont have a good reason (health, tiredness, temporary reaction for a perceived grievance) then if he comes up with another wife (not girlfriend o) as a solution, whats your argument against it?

healthserve:
I'm. Cracked up. This doesn't add up. Another one on the loose seeking validations to create problems in the house. It's outright lunacy on the husband's side or the OP is telling the tale to appear completely innocent

RisenPhoenix:
That's why I don't argue with women; it always turns to a logic class. Really, you shouldn't either...just an advice.



Actually I wasn't. All women become slack down there after vaginal partuition. And all husbands who have had prior sexual experience with them before childbirth notice the difference for the worse. Most just can't say so because women take it in a very personal way, but it's true.

GrossPrice:
Neither is a barren woman!

Ishilove:
With inquiry comes knowledge

bukatyne:
I read some of them and I cringe:

How did women get here?

Some universities in the US even have 'safe spacies' where ladies run to when they feel overwhelmed or 'victimized' by their fellow male classmates?

What happened to the ladies who would gang up and shame guys who jumped from one friend to another or messed up and they gave themselves high five later?

University and Sec Schl were drama filled with plots and counterplots from male and females before perpetual victim hood.

Now they run into 'safe spaces' and cry.

No wonder depression is on the high side.

If a lady can't handle her male classmates in college, how would she face life's challenges?

bukatyne:
Not necessarily.

We have been in the OP's shoes.

Hubby's friend lost his job and had to move his family back to his father's house.

Wife was primary school teacher and started asking for money.

After a while, we had to stop and tell her to go through her husband.

She obviously never did so we had to ignore more requests.

Not like the funds were readily available to begin with.

bukatyne:
I got my ears full on how I was not enjoying my youth from different people.

I am following one boy, I am tying myself down, I should groove before I get married bla bla bla.

Let's just say we were trained from a very early age to live an intentional life.

No 'just have fun'; everything you do or don't do go into building your life.

I discovered myself and realized I neither have the strength or patience to go from pillar to post. I rather get it right once and build on it.

I also have a very sensitive conscience and I don't want anything to tamper with my peace of mind. I also don't want to be a victim of anything out of my stupidity

bukatyne:
Why?

bukatyne:
You know, all these 'laws' recently created to 'protect' women seems great until you discover that they all imply women cannot be trusted to think and take responsibility for their actions.

People now sound more whinny, more it's not my fault, more bla bla bla.

How can a normal thinking girl claim not know when a heterosexual guy is interested in sleeping with her?

Why would you go to his house, request for stuffs (you know he will be malleable to give because he wants you), go on a date with him when you do not want to sleep with him?

I fear for the next generation because they women who can't take responsibility train responsible and accountable children.

It is not like the guys are any better.

bukatyne:
Thank God for your life, brother Crackhaus.

I was brought up to avoid stories that touch and send clear signals.

I remember when I was still friends with hubby and he went home. As per fresher, different guys wanted to try their luck.

This brother asked he out and after saying no, he insisted. I said 'OK, pay for my pictures' to put him off. I later had to develop better rejection mechanisms.

He did and came to my off campus house (we lived on adjacent streets). He said I should follow him home to 'drink tea' and I ran back to my house. My cousins though I was crazy (I am sure they still do ).

I might be 17+ but I instinctively knew that it did not make sense following someone to his house to drink tea. I knew it was wrong even though my cousins urged me on.

Ladies should engage their intuition more.

Ishilove:
Na kweshin na

bukatyne:
Which is back to where we are all trying to run from:

That women are beneath men.

Only children or mentally impaired people are expected not to think their decisions through and take responsibility for their actions.

crackhaus:
Ideally, they both raped and took advantage of each other.

But between a drunk man and a drunk woman, guess who is supposed to have more clarity?
Same reason why leadership remains indisputably the natural territory of a certain gender.

bukatyne:
I am wondering because the drunk man was unable to give his consent and can claim to be raped too.

bukatyne:
Maybe I should say indifference.

Someone tells me they were raped; I sympathize and gently probe if they are ready to talk.

Not ready, I move on. Ready, I listen and empathize if need be.

I believe it would be deeper for a potential romantic partner.

My own is don't discard it as lies until you can prove it is.

The thread that prompted me to create this was crazy.

bukatyne:
I wish it were a competition; it is not.

A drunk man forcing himself on a drunk woman is what?

bukatyne:
I honestly cannot pick a percentage however, I will not doubt anyone who comes up with that story if I do not have proof for otherwise.

sunnymighty:
Thank U all for your contributions, I really do appreciate, the property is located under Ifo local government area (Ijoko precisely).The fact that I chose the battle to be fought for peace to reign does not make me a weak person,never the less I appreciate your concern.

sunnymighty:
I already done that, firstly I never knew the property falls under two CDA, the Secretary to group B CDA approached and convinced me to join them,it was after this that I realised that where the property in question is facing is under another CDA (group A) I later got to know that group B broke away from group A, albeit mutually. But personally I think both CDA need to set their boundaries.

sassysure:
U know why I quoted you in the first place?
U said u manage your wife and pretend all is well.
U don't manage your wife. If u want your wife to be content with you, dont manage her. The moment she knows, u will realise that she probably have been managing you too and believe me, women have been managing men for eons.

Now, that sentence was very degrading and demeaning to women and that was why I attacked your post.
Now, u are trying to wriggle yourself from that selfish entitlement cos u may have noticed that on the long run, that woman will beat you on that game.

My message is this;
If a woman can manage a 4 minutes man and other defeats that come with the male third leg, men on the other hand have no right whatsoever to say they are managing women's vjs that became the way it is because it popped out his children. That is selfishness of the highest order. If u feel there is a problem down there, visit a Dr with her. The way she has been helping you feel like a man when u can hardly get it up or lasts 4 seconds, massaging your ego etc is the way u should e there for her when childbirth has made her "manageable" to you.

alimaa:
Please I need a piece of advice on how to handle this situation. I have a very close friend and his wife has asked for financial assistance severally and I obliged. The problem I have here is what will my friend think if he should be seeing a bank alert from me on his wife's phone? The woman has been calling my line since the beginning of this month which I have continued to ignore. She would later send text asking for financial help and this kind of situation is very confusing because you might report to her husband and they will both turn the whole thing against you. Please what should I do?

Ishilove:
Is sperm flowing out normal?

bukatyne:
When I talk rape, I like to focus majorly on pedophilic encounters or cases where girls are forced at gun point, lonely corners, uncompleted buildings etc.

Date rape (except when the girl is drugged), consent/no consent, 'going to sleep in a guy's house and he penerated when I told him to stop at MouthAction', drunk 'unconsented' sex, buyer's remorse after sex etc. snearios are honestly outside my alley.

cassyrooy:
Very smart of you.

Like the OP went on to say, women would like either attention or financial stability. This buttresses the saying that goes thus: with everything we do, there are other things left undone.

Wanting both is looking like an impossible thing to give with the unfolding realities in today's society.

Economy is hard, male folks are trying to up their game, so they try to avoid women who wouldn't be helpful in achieving that goal or who may not be patient enough to see that ambition materialize.

Or they give them attention and after sometime, they no longer measure up to new realities because things have changed.

Finding balance in these extremely polarised life is not easy to come by, men, women, feminists of both gender should be able to see through these and not how bashing or not it is.

They have been more worse things on NL than this one.

bukatyne:
Your question to me was dragged out.

I don't turn my family to a circus on NL.

bukatyne:
If a man is genuinely convinced that Sister XYZ is his wife, I doubt he will leave her half way because she has not accepted him.

Yes, he will pray to God for help and get tips however, he will do the actual wooing.


Look through the Bible, all the men that got wives from God still wooed the wives themselves.

If you think because God said 'it is done', it becomes immediate, you are on your own.