₦airaland Forum

bukatyne:
There is a difference between poor, broke educated dude who has not landed his dream job or just got a let me manage job and an uneducated, no vision broke dude.

Ideally, I do not advise people to marry outside their spectrum. I have said it here severally that I can neither marry an uneducated mechanic nor can I marry a Governor's son except I am led that either is my husband.

I have nothing in common with either of them. The mechanic might tell me that it is a sin/ laziness to use washing machine; the Governor's son might tell me that he wants a party or there is nothing wrong in taking coke.

I know this is a generalization before people eat me raw.

So I think it is over ambitiousness for a guy/lady to marry far outside their spectrum. (except led of course.)

bukatyne:
As if broke dudes don't marry every Saturday

A lot if women senseless chase money, yes.

Still, a lot of women marry men they love and whom loved them every Saturday.

Rich, average, poor or outright jobless.

bukatyne:
I responded directly to the post I quoted.

You guys are the ones that started the fights that was why I did not answer Crackhaus' question as regards my husband chasing me.

You guys stared ruining the thread at that point.

bukatyne:
It does not work that way.

It is also possible that the lady the guy is shown is not his standard and he fights it for a while.

Sometimes, it is the lady that is shown the man and she has to subtly convince him to meet her.

Even for relationships where God leads them to their spouses, they still need to work at it.

There is just a certain assurance that your efforts are not in vain and some issues will not crop up.

kunleweb:
Hahahaha, I'm cracked up and open

fieryy:
What irritates me the most about this thread is the op. He claims he's lonely, asks if he should worried by his approach, agrees with everyone that says no, disagrees with everyone that calls him out, claims to be unbothered, but created TWO threads today in which he complains about his loneliness. His approach is already final, yet he seeks opinions and validations and as mentioned earlier, complains about loneliness.

*****
If my answer to this post (me stating why I am irritated by this thread) is you intepretating it as me saying he needs a woman to cure his loneliness, then this discussion is over.

bukatyne:
There is God's will in marriage.

Take it or leave it.

bukatyne:
If you are someone spiritual enough to be led to a lady, then you would chase her extra.

If you feel that there are plenty fishes in the sea and you can point and kill, no need wasting a lot of time.

I believe in soul mates and that one person perfect for you. Most people rely on God to lead them to the person. Picking your soul mate from 3 billion people is an herculean task.

Of course, you can marry others and the marriage will be OK.

fieryy:
I want you to quote where exactly I stated that the loneliness op feels is not occasional.

I also want you to quote where exactly I stated having a female is the cure of his loneliness.

fieryy:
And what exactly are you doing? Aren't we all technically assuming and therefore diagnosing? Or are they 'invalid diagnoses' because they are assumptions op doesn't agree with.

I could be right, you could be right. I'm just stating my opinion, as well as you are stating yours.

fieryy:
And where in my post did I say a woman is a cure for his loneliness? I'm simply calling him out for what also you think he is : "confident".

OP is everything, but confident. I already talked about this earlier. Loneliness is SOMETIMES attributed to a low-self esteem, which I believe applies to Op's case as well.

kunleweb:
The gameplay is real. It advocates all forms of rewards in exchange for good/princessly treatment, and no contrary stance to the female's POV

kunleweb:
It's funny, very very funny, very very very funny. It's also childish to witness the petty points these ones are holding on to as a weapon in this arguement ( notice, not all the ladies here are joining sides with them seeing what's not there, forcing a needless gender-war)

The Princess syndrome is real. Big time

fieryy:
I guess you can only help those who want to be helped. Op might be here feeling himself now, happy that people are agreeing with him etc, but this is only temporary. He's still going to wake up feeling lonely tomorrow.

fykes:
I learnt dat mistake via a bitter lesson,
Four years ago, I had everything a young man will want, a good job I loved, a house, a car and married to d love of my life and expecting a child.
Then my pregnant wife died. And I was lonely and bitter and angry and couldn't work. Then I got involved with a single mom just to have a semblance of that dream life I had, and that's how I opened the doors for the devil in my life.
Thank God I got out after 2 years and had to face the grief I was running from, dealt with myself and got straight again with life instead of chasing fantasies.
But two years is long enough to do damages...
Grief and loneliness can be terrible, but we just need to accept and deal with it than seek other relationships

cassyrooy:
Man, I really like this your post, especially the the highlighted area.

uninspired07:
Wow, can anybody imagine the objectivity & unbiased quality of this post compared to those of the usual suspects.

Bro, I appreciate you for your sincere & heartfelt advice. I sure will pick & imbibe most of it to chart the way forward. I have never been deceived that there’s any other roadmap to this thing, I only needed reassurance.

Thank you.

kunleweb:
Hahahaha knack me stick already. You can see how these women here are trying so so hard to "emotionally manipulate", too bad, the modern guy's unnaive to these sneaky theatrics

uninspired07:
I will change it to attention.... that’s the word.

uninspired07:
I don’t mean I will go out to be specifically rude to women but I won’t give them undue indulgence also.

I just maintain my lane & appreciate those who truly care like good friends & family.

It’s a battle out there.

uninspired07:
I am waiting for bukatyne’s response to this.

healthserve:
is there a living creature who's esteem is completely pure and free from other attachments?

healthserve:
Haha. Crack my ribs. The modern women has gotten mad from too much knowledge and cant separate reality from illusion

bukatyne:
I agree the two scenarios are different. Friendliness is key.

Well, I was wooed last about 14yrs back so I don't understand this new school things.

fykes:
I learnt dat mistake via a bitter lesson,
Four years ago, I had everything a young man will want, a good job I loved, a house, a car and married to d love of my life and expecting a child.
Then my pregnant wife died. And I was lonely and bitter and angry and couldn't work. Then I got involved with a single mom just to have a semblance of that dream life I had, and that's how I opened the doors for the devil in my life.
Thank God I got out after 2 years and had to face the grief I was running from, dealt with myself and got straight again with life instead of chasing fantasies.
But two years is long enough to do damages...
Grief and loneliness can be terrible, but we just need to accept and deal with it than seek other relationships

bukatyne:
I haven't told him to beg now, have I?

Begging for women's attention which is different from begging for a woman's attention and fleeing at the first sign of indifference are two sides of same coin:

Low self-esteem

uninspired07:
Hmmmm. I find partial pleasure in my work and reading but I can’t lie, I get lonely sometimes & need the feminine touch. I am not gay. I am just not ready to beg for one. The feeling has to be mutual.

My problem now is that I will feel more confident entering into a relationship with power of my own(money) due to my experience being a Nigerian. I am not ready or willing to enter into a relationship without money because my ego will now allow me face the consequence of that.

uninspired07:
Exactly. I don’t even have any politeness to give to any woman, except my mother ( I know this will attract insults, but it’s just the fact). Thanks for your contribution.

uninspired07:
My exact sentiments. I just needed reassurance. About the loneliness, I will just fine as I have been like this for a while. And note, it’s not like I am completely broke, I am just not where I would like to be, hence I don’t even bother initiating any relationship.

Thanks for your contribution.

bukatyne:
Might be a sign of low self esteem.

uninspired07:
I find it hard exercising patience with, indulging or begging a woman. Once I sense a whiff of indifference or disinterest by a woman, I flee to protect my ego. It’s been eons I last asked a woman out and I get lonely at times, but I am used to my single state.

I firmly believe that a man’s value is inextricably tied to his economic worth so I don’t even bother to chase the opposite sex as I tried to when I was younger. This is has discouraged me from initiating a chase as I think it won’t be worth it in the end as it will all end up with the money issue. Am I on the right path or do I try to temper my approach a bit

czarina:
Ok but it's still there...edit it please.