₦airaland Forum

Oh lawd have mercy!

Una no see snake?

GamalNasser:
She is Sha more reliable than Buhari govt

No contest.

Ricchcream:
I cant breathe

You need ventilator?

Make I call Nigerian Army to bring that fridge and has cooker hybrid wey dem construct say na ventilator for you?

Kemi dey form the newest Sheriff in town lol

Aabheaven:
Ok let me start with mine, during the days of 2go. I met this girl on the site and fortunately she was in my University, we promise to see each other at a particular place on a set date. I felt it was a normal hang out since she said she will be going for lectures later.
To my greatest surprise this babe came with her friend to see me and I was kind of shocked but hid it anyways so I had to change plans and take them to a nearby eatery. I had 1k and my ATM card with me but since I have booked 1k then for the little hangout I thought we would have, I told myself I will stick to it.
We got to the eatery, I told them to sit down and I went to the eatery stand to order, I was like what can I buy. I was in my thoughts for 10 mins before I settled for hollandia yougurt of #500 and two meat pie of #250 each. I took three disposable cups with me and went to my table. The ladies were staring at me when they saw what I brought lol I didn't mind, I opened the juice and poured mine in a cup and took one meat pie. I was eating it passionately and left them to decide what they do with the other one meat pie.
They were looking at me and I was like do I care, well the silence was much and I told them I have a class and needed to leave. I left and got a call from the suppose girl saying I embarrassed her in front of her friend and I was like you embarrassed yourself because we decided it was two of us and we just wanted to see. We had a little disagreement and I left it there because I don't have time for unnecessary drama.
One month later, I decided to try my luck again and we bonded. I had my own share of the cookie anyways.
From that day upwards I go the venue for my blind date 45 mins before time so as to evaluate the package and know what to prepare for

Lol

You be original kolo aswear

This one no be blind date na proper "your father" date.

Nat404:

My girl likes me but her friend is a little bit jealous because I met her first before my current girlfriend.

Please lecture me.

One of my friends asked me to take my girl to the room and leave her friend in the sitting room. Don't know if it's okay or not.

No try wetin your friend suggest oh, she fit poison you.

I can't teach you to be a player man, it's not worth it.

Be contended with you girl since she loves you.

Lol

Lol...na this kind rough play make we chop five friends that year in the 90's when I still be young boy.

If you sabi play your game well na to apply divide and rule. Everybody go dey sneak come at the back of the rest.

If I could pull it off when there wasn't a mobile phone, it should be a walk in the park for you in today's world.

Las las, I no encourage philandering oh. If you see say she no send you, ask any of her friends wey you fancy "how far"?.

Slimsly100:
Hmm! I hear u

Seriously oh.

Deadly viper...always looking pregnant.

Yikes...

Pukes

Corona

Rest on sir.

We still dey here, see you when our time is come.

Help us tell Abba how people take dey gossip am here oh.

Life na come and go.

Trade your market finish, pack your kaya go house.

Singing:

One day at a time sweet Jesus is all I'm asking from you, teach me today, help me to do all I have to do.....

Yesterday's gone sweet Jesus and tomorrow may never be mine...

Help me today, teach me to take, one day at a time.

Nice one.

Just stay safe and away from any potential mass shooting site.

Our people say beauty no dey complete.

Their Government dey people-oriented, but you fit just say make you stroll go supermarket to buy some grocery the next thing one kolo oyibo wey half done and medium-rare meat don chop part of him brain go just enter there begin shoot everybody for no just cause.

In fact ehn, e no get anywhere wey e be 10/10.

Las las na only God perfect.

With this lockdown I just wished I was in my village aswear.

Easy jeje life...wetin concern you concern coro

I was shocked to notice there were no mosquitoes in my village the last time I visited. I slept with the netless windows open.

Modified:

I pity the people flooding my mention as a result of my comment above.

If the import of my submission is lost on you and you deem it fit to vent your anger at life through this, well, your case is irredeemable obviously both home and away.

There is absolutely no need hiding under any cloak to start self-insulting.

Na pikin wey no get sense go stand on top mountain or hill begin point hand say, "see my mama for there, she dey useless, she no get sense".

My admonition and prayers to our loved ones the world over remains, to keep safe, and may God continually hide us under the shadow of his wings now and beyond.

Just wait until you hear how much was budgeted for this prototype wey panel beater put together.

The General's commissioning and hailing it will refuse to use it oh.

Oh God, please help my family to know to allow me go in peace instead of getting intubated on this joke of an experiment.

The thing be like gas cooker.

Jungle justice is a no-no because it takes just a false alarm on anyone by anyone to get mobbed and reduced to this.

But in a country where the law enforcement agencies are none existing to their responsibilities and the government cares less about her citizen's welfare, this is definitely inevitable.

Everyone will eventually take the laws into his/her own hands coupled with hunger-induced anger. What you'll get is a people with no sympathy or human feeling.

Everybody dey para.

Such a gory sight.

Rhozabeth:
I saw this post after checking u out following a comment u made on my post. I know this dude personally. This dude had been doing drugs since way back! Anthonia left his sorry ass cos of this drug thing cos she knew it would wreck him! I agree with u that he doesn't like to take responsibility for any of his actions, he has always been like that!

Lol

The truth is, he is helping to train someone's fiancee or even wife through school.

If he's doing it for love's sake because he feels there's a future with her, i'd advice he gives himself a hot slap by gently refraining and save himself from any further surprises or heartbreak.

But if he feels he wants to learn the art of philanthropy through her, he can go on and not relent. God will reward him for being a blessing to someone else.

Praise the Lord.

The most useless minister of all time.

Always forgetting her head under Bubu's arse.

Na this woman the guy for just marry sef, the two of dem na match made in heaven.

Very clueless, evil, and a fanatically bigoted being.

The only consolation remains that, no matter how lopsided or how much they pump in, the God of natural justice and balanced equation no go still allow am show for their body. Dem go still carry plate hang for neck use one hand dey pursue fly from mouth.

Tuehhh

essentialson:
.. of course I have seen all these in her! I think my only problem here is stereotyping I'm having towards her

Quit with the stereotyping, keep an open mind and you'll be fine.

You guys really need to ignore this attention-craving dingbat.

He truly wished he was all he claims to be here.

A barrister who lives in Dublin. With this your written English one can only but imagine what would be spewing out from your mouth when you attempt to speak.

Anybody wey you represent for court na death sentence dem go give that person.

The idiot dey wan use Dublin threaten him head for her...what a knucklehead. Dublin wey be like Oshodi. I sorry for you.

When we travel go the oyibo country sef I know say dem never born you.

Useless pikin.

Ekpa

essentialson:
.. wow bro, thanks very much indeed for your time in writing this.
This girl also is Esan girl., I would like to know more about Esan people if you don't mind

An Esan wife can be as good as any wife from any part if the world, it all depends on the individual and her upbringing.

On the most, they are very submissive, enterprising, cool-headed, and homely.

Infidelity is a no no to the Esan woman because of the fear of incurring the wrath of the gods (death).

fredopareto:
u get sister sha..remember u go born girl one day ooo..word re power..u might b tested on ur word to justify u soon

Yeah, I've got six sisters and five daughters.

Send your test.

My dear brother, let's do away with those stereotypes that have done more harm to us than good as a people.

There's something I took away from Abba Kyari's passing, and that is, we the supposed youths of today are a far cry from the youths of our father's generation and this explains why they can boldly say we aren't prepared for leadership, and the reason why they are still able to call the shots even with their walking sticks. That statement isn't a slight on us but a fact.

It is evident how the people ruling us today are the same people and clique at the helms of affairs from the days of our fathers down to this age of our own children. Do you know how they succeeded in this regard? They forged alliances/friendships, marriages et al that defied tribes, borders, States of origin, languages, and religions.

If in doubt, go read up on the many eulogies in honor of Abba Kyari coming in from every part of the country.

Until we the present generation begin to see beyond ipob, arewa, afonja and whatever by coming together to see ourselves as a people with a common goal which is to build a country of our dreams as stakeholders, we'll continue getting lorded over by our forefathers and a handful of the youths who know this secret of forging fronts and alignments beyond the borders of ethnicity, tribe, language or religion.

Enough of the digression. Now to your question.

Is it lost on you that most of the Anambrians actually migrated from the great Benin empire?

If in doubt, go look up literatures and ask the older folks in your villages.

That aside, I am an Edo man ( Esan) precisely, and in my family, we have always inter-married with the Igbos. All the Igbo women married into my family speak my language even better than I do and you won't believe they were Igbos.

To further buttress my point above, did you know that the now deceased strong man of Edo and Nigerian politics Anthony Anenih a.k.a Mr. Fix it was married to an Anambrian who was the former Minister of women affairs? Did you also know that the ever stylish Stella Oduah was married to an Edo man? These are just a few examples.

Make your way down to Edo and see both ethnicities getting lost in inter-marriages without more than the usual or expected rift in any marriage.

In conclusion, my guy, if you find happiness in that girl, wife her and live your life damning any stereotypes or seeking validation from people who do not know any better.

Peace bro, and good luck in your choices.

Oh, God.

One can only imagine the discomfort this kid had endured all these while she had the nail still lodged within her, not to talk of the bacterial infections.

It is strange how the doctors couldn't pick it up on scan/x-ray.

A possible explanation for the above would be that the nail had been lodged mid-way and never reached the stomach.

We need to always keep an eye on our kids because they enjoy picking and dropping things in their mouths at a certain age. We should also keep an eye on any evident changes in their known behavioral patterns.

On a lighter note, if the kid had been matured enough for better swallow, the good ole solid eba or akpu for escort that thing enter toilet.


Thank God for her life.

Very good.

If it wasn't for the fact that two wrongs do not make a right and an eye for an eye would eventually render everyone eyeless, I would have advocated to have him stripped nude too to have him sense how it feels.

Voyeuristic chemist man.

Kai I remember that season oh...

Everything off from Nairaland.

It was a dark period.

You look nice.

They need to make you our Corona Virus ambassador.

If corona see you, e go get heart attack.

Handing back the people some crumbs of their money.

Starve them of what rightly belongs to them by confiscating it all for you and your family.

Then when they are at the verge of meeting their maker out of hunger, you dole out a handful in public and camera glare to seem like their messiah and life-saver.

The poor would have no choice than to receive and thank them.

God dey.

Na the Nigerian politician MO be this.

If only people we're aware of what nonsense they consume in the name of kilishi, they'd puke their intestines out.

Having seen and witnessed the unhygienic ways in which the suyas and kilishis are prepared, they don't even trip me one bit.

Very dirty people.

You got it very wrong in your video.

Stop misleading people with fake news. Kilishi isn't made from deboned meat, it is gotten from some dirty looking dried fat which contains all sorts of germs ranging from fly lavae to the mallams saliva and feces from wiping their arses.

To crown it all, it doesn't go through any cooking process. It is solely sun-dried.

Puke

Jinja007:
I believe u're old enough not to be stupid..

should I insult you??

Get the Bleep outta my mentions you asswipe.