₦airaland Forum

Royal Roy: Not a happy ending to a day that started well.

Lost a childhood friend and a dear business partner to "malaria" this evening.

He has been buying off the counter drugs to treat himself for the past two weeks and just this noon he decided to drive himself to the hospital.

He never returned.
Survived by a 5 month old baby and a wife of 6month.

R.I.P friend. You were a good man.





Sad day for me......really sad.

Condolences RR.May God Comfort you and his family.My friend too lost her sister over the weekend.Went into hospital on friday..Sooo sad.Life is a gift so let's live each day spreading love and not hate.

Pele RR

Nice thread....am too tired to be typing epistles cos right now am sick of typing and screens.I haate courseworks now and I used to love them o Chai adult education no easy o.

I think I have mentioned it before on NL that I think my husband complements me to be what God wants me to be.Me I dont believe all this romance fairytale ish of 'My Husband completes me"(Ok sometimes I might use it as a romantic endearment but its just a figure of speech ).I think that's where we women sometimes miss it, looking for that man to complete us.God created us all with a purpose.Try to look for your purpose.It might not be a popular consensus on this thread but I believe that part of that purpose (not all) might be to raise a positive next generation.In my opinion this is for both genders.Both myself and my husband one way or the other have had to let go of some things that would have yielded financial gain just so we could spend some more time together as a family.

Which brings me to my next point, Destiny, dreams etc is not necessarily financial sucess like Bukatyne has demonstrated. We Nigerians (sorry to generalise) often allude sucess=money.I like earning money am half ijebu but we have to understand that for some people fulfilment might not be from a paycheck or living the high flying lifestyle.Which is why I am always seen to be defending SOME stay at home mums on NL. Yeah there are some lazy liability women who mooch off men but not ALL stay at home mums (those doing it for the right reasons, not been forced, not being abused, controlled, manipulated etc) are dreamless, or not fulfilling destiny.Nigerian definition of stay at home mum often is not earning money but a good friend of mine does not earn money but is running a youth programme similar to what Bukatyne wants to do In a very deprived part of London.She started it while she was home with her kids and I (God forgive me) was one of those people back then who judged her for leaving her job. So purpose or destiny or dreams whatever differs.Phew I have typed o.

yellowpawpaw: Aaww! Madam moderator!

Wellucome wellucome!
(I dey feel u for religion,u 2 much!)
Since u r patriotic as Mr Bellong, I dash u him fiam!
Hv bn waiting to pair him since and oh God thanks for answered prayer, Ameeen!!!
CC no just put mouth here cos I will pour u hot crude oil!

Muah!
(I be village gal, how una dey use emotica?)


Deols, I manage go hospital today and was told its nothing serious. Though d pain has reduced drastically. Thanks for showing concern.


I saw one woman today with sheabutter, na so I buy d thing like say I wan sell am! Maybe I will soon start sheabutter company ltd,where RR and BB will be project and mkting mgers respectively!

Taryour, how body and mayowa dem?
Hope una dey do well?
Dami, how ur end be?
, u r now a political activist,
Welludone!
When those red eyes in pol section will pour u hot red oil, we dey wait for u here to cool ur bari o!
I dey fear those pple!
Don't know where they all came from!

All these our bros dem, xmas don de reach o!
Will soon make my list( e easy to be a woman!)

I'm just home sick.
Every november,I'm always like that.
It is well.

YPP my end dey o, thanks for remembering me Good to know you are feeling better.

Hello everyone. ....and Goodnight

@Vivianc which wan now with this your 92% statistic .I kinda get you jare dont mind me but its more like 60% sha I dont know about now but in late 90's early noughties when I was in naija university.Most of those baba big runs girls in moremi's heydays one way or the other got married to calm church guys .

OP RUN, typical runs girl modus operandi.Become "born again" in final yr.

Happy Happy Birthday Bellong.And Happy Wedding Anniversary. Many many more years in God's glory.May the joy in your home and life never turn to sorrow by His Grace.

Hello everyone

yellowpawpaw: Yes our greatest enemy is the combo we eat. Its so bad one can't escape from it.
My only consolation is exercise and work else I will blow up.
Honestly our type of food is killing us and majority don't know.
My advice is if u will eat these things, hit the gym. We just don't like to exercise.

Dami, did u say rabbit? Is that sweet?

Sort of my sister, sort of cos if I add the stuff that will make it sweeter I don defeat the purpose

chaircover: You are right . . its carbs that do the most damage.

What I do is to go on a low carb diet for a week. Its very hard but its achievable. I substitute rice with cous cous and eat plenty protein instead.

Dami What is the white stuff on your plate. is it rice or mash potates?

One of my friends who I haven't seen for 2 months just left my house. She has lost heaps of weight. She said she drank lots of water and dint eat anything after 6pm.

From my experience, the best way to loose weight and keep it off is slow and steady. a pound a week is realizable and reasonable. Those fad diets dont work.

Its chicken in apple sauce.Stewed the apples as a sort of gravy and yes there is just a bit of mash to act as fill up base.I hate cous cous but then maybe its the way I prepare it.

Your friend is right water fills you up and even makes your skin glow as well.I dont eat after 7 but maybe il shift to 6 as well.I keep telling hubby that it's just not about weight per se but generally also good for one's health.I really need to get him with the programme though he eats well but does not believe in my swaps I.e . Semi skimmed to skimmed milk, Flora to Light Flora, etc.His words I don't eat much so when I do eat I dont want light or less anything .i want the full version. So now we buy whole milk for the kids, semi skimmed for him and skimmed for me

chaircover: Loool Dami is that Marks and Spencer diet meals?

Me sef I start again tomorrow

Jollof rice an shiken has spoilt my intentions for today

No CC i kuku made it myself.Trying to stick to more veg and fibre, some white meat and very very lil carbs.Carbs are we naija peoples greatest nemesis Everything rice, morsels, yam, plantain etc.I am trying not to diet cos i just blow up 3 weeks after i finish infact i almost hurt my baby with that yeye cambridge diet of shakes and bars not knowing i was about 8 weeks pregnant. Now just watching what I eat esp portion sizes.Then try to exercise.I am so lazy to go to Zumba class so I just got the DVD.I can see the results slowly but steadily.

Hello house.How una dey?And how was service?Just finished chopping rabbit food while everyone else settled to proper jollof rice and shicken. .Hubby keeps saying iwo lomo wahala to ko ara e si (na you know the wahala you are giving yourself).But I wan go back to size xxxx there are some expensive dresses I need to fit back into.

Baba Oyo, in a way I think you can be attracted to the personality but Love I no know o.Me and hubby had been chatting and speaking on the phone for like two months before we actually met face to face and he says from then on he knew he had met his wife.Me lai lai, I LIKED the person I was talking to but we had to meet physically for any strong feelings to develop on my part..Diff strokes sha.I still don't get how people can go and marry, marry not date o marry soneone they have only spoken to on phone or online. .My hubby's friend did it I.e went to naija to marry a girl he had never met. .But again diff strokes.

MMotimo: @ ziva07,

I salute your courage and focus
It is not an affordable economic choice for most Naija families, and even for those whom can afford it, the fear of what their fellow Naijas would say is enough to deter them.
It takes a special kind of Naija woman to do what you've done and your kids will thank you for it
Wait for those that will come and make derogatory comments about your choice, that, unfortunately, is how it works around Nland
Just remember that you do not know people's backgrounds, people speak from what they feel/what they have seen/what they are going through:
A person that had an abusive father who terrorised both his working wife and their children will find it hard to encourage a choice like that because deep down, children of abusers know they may become one too
A person who lost both or one parents at a young age and dealt with the harsh economic fallout will find it hard to make the choice
A person with an unstable marital relationship will find it hard
A wife who is the breadwinner would find it hard
A person with heavy external family commitments will find it hard
A party bird with attendant aso ebi commitments will find it hard
The list goes on but I think you get my drift

Please do not leave room for naysayers and destroyers to put mouth in your arrangement, watch out for those that will say your husband will become an abuser and turn you to a slave. You know your spouse, don't give room to cynics
Like you, I made the choice when our kids were younger and I would do it again if I had to. Is our household the better for it? A resounding YES.
You are not just "breeding children" you are raising leaders of their generation, brilliant minds that will make you and your husband proud. Continue to make sure you are at every gane, every award ceremony, every milestone possible and don't forget to take pictures, be there for them. It's not forever, God is faithful and will make it worth your while in every way.
Blessed are you
I wish you well

Mmotimo you have been missing alot from here.How are you and family ma?

Its hard one ojere.But I agree 100% with Mmotimo that raising kids requires ALOT of dedication . Unfortunately its very hard (not impossible) to juggle with a very time consuming career for BOTH parents.Iv been on both sides (working full time and staying home though studying and doing business while staying home) and I can say none are necessarily an easy path.

Its just sad that alot of people on NL demonise stay at home mums.

My mum worked while raising us what makes her case slightly different (which is often the case back then and maybe now) was a superb support network.She and my Dad could travel with just 3 days notice cos she had her mum who really could drop all she was doing to come stay with us.She had her aunts, my dads mum, her own grandmum for like the 1st 10 yrs of my life etc.Plus an army of domestic help.

Fast forward to me living in the west with a still working mother who lives thousands of miles away, an orphan husband with siblings with their own family and only babysitters, childminders and some few really good friends, would it not be disastrous for both of us (me and hubby) to swing into full time hectic careers leaving the raising, monitoring and welfare of our kids to the hands of these hired help.One person does not necessarily have to sacrifice their career but one person has to slow a bit at least for a while (kids get more expensive as they grow older).

Lets stop demonising women (or men) who choose (not coerced, forced or abused) to make having some more time for the kids a priority.As long as its a choice and agreed decision by both parties, can we stop calling them liabilities.

Efemena_xy: Lol!

Wait till the Christmas adverts start rolling in on TV. I'm surprised they haven't started yet!



Trust me, CC's the cake expert, not moi. Speaking of which, my mum makes a brilliant sponge cake - will try getting that recipe from her



My dear, don't mind us jare

But we also cook Naija stuff on that day too na!

Like boiled, fresh white yams, plantain and pepper soup with some serious fresh fish in it for breakfast (on boxing day!)

Don't mind me efe.Its just that I just cant get the british obsession with Christmas when a large chunk of the population dont even believe in the ACTUAL reason behind Christmas. .You know brits can like to complain maybe people wrote to OFCOM cos if I remember adverts had started by this time last year

I am definitely using your turkey recipe sounds yum like a sort of fusion recipe. I.e naija and English. Will copy it out now sef and slip inti my recipe books.

Hello All Happy Weekend.

***sneaks in****Efe and CC typical brits talking about Christmas in October its October People October .
****sneaks back out upon hearing Oga's footsteps on the stairs***

Hello everyone, hope we have been having a great day so far.Just thought to upload a couple of our newer pieces.You can view more of our pieces

The Accessories Lounge - https://www.facebook.com/TheAccessoriesLounge

On instagram @theaccessorieslounge or #theaccessorieslounge

On twitter @theaccessoriesl



Wholesale prices available on Min of 20 items.Shipping to Lagos Takes 10 to 14 days.

No retail to Lagos at the moment

Spare the rod and spoil the child.True or False

This NL filter sef. . Bossom.cancer is not the same thing as bre.ast cancer

Good morning everyone.CC condolences oh It is well.One day by His Grace we will beat this disease called Cancer.

Ladies this month is breast cancer awareness month.I know we like to cast and bind (Me too o if you know how many smear tests letters I used to tear IJN ), but let's just try to find out and know what signs to look out for.

No vex say I spoil the mood

RR so you can't spot down loe brothers

My husband says his Gaydar radar works at 200% optimum level

Mrs mansson: Madam what is wrong in getting a domestic help.stop stressing urself for nothing,the help must not live with you if that is your fear
Most naija men who live in Nigeria feel they have no business with house chores.your husband might never change oh so just get a help asap

Gbam.My Dad too was kinda useless at house chores.Funny enough we bonded quite alright.Get yourself domestic help might be a cleaning lady who comes and goes at the end of the day or cleans once a week. What's the use of making money if not to buy a lil comfort?

Try to take it easy abeg there is no award for supermum (take it from someone who can be OCD atimes).Na burn out dey end am.

But I have a sneaky suspicion.Some of this unhelpful men would also resist external help for their wives.

yellowpawpaw: Hurray!
I'm just too happy this morning.
Hubby ate fruit for the first time again since he was 5 yrs old last night!

I blended pinneapple, then squezd in some orange juice.
I already had my phone handy to call emergency should there be Bleep up.
So far so good.
Progressing in d right direction.
Small small, we will get there!
(He is very allergic to them. Didnt start from birth though. Me,I'm allergic to milk but I recently found out some r more torelant than others for me)


Abegi, una goodmorning.
May we all hv a wonderful blessed week.
(Infact, I will work like jarky today!)

Awww my Husband too is not a fruit lover so I too go down the fruit juice route.Are you sure its an actual allergy or he just does not like fruit .Cos if it's an actual allergy dont think its wise for him to have it.

My daughter last week(bless her) said mummy I think I am allergic to Bannanas (not her fav fruit ).I opened my mouth and could not close it

Hardline Parenting you know the old school naija style flog till you drop, children must be seen and not heard vs Liberal(not too sure liberal is the right word but feel free to modify) Parenting I.e talking through issues and working through emotions, rarely physical type.

Just typed as It came to mind Tgirl pls modify appropriately.And No I would not want to debate cos am quite time strapped at the mo.Would not mind reading the differing views on the topic.

Good morning People.. Hows everone?

Blessed Week Ahead by His Grace.

Hello ALL.....Its been a while on NL.Just been so busy with juggling so many things at the same time but sebi they said we women are great multitaskers so It is well.I don miss una.Hope our Muslim and Naija peeps had a great Ileya (yeah you know me I must talk yoruba ) break.

Hows everyone? E-Hugs Ppl.

As an aside I miss sallah meat o chei.Not just fried meat but fried Ram Meat fried in Agbari Ojukwu (don't know why its called that but its that big black metal pan) on Adogan (firewood stove) with fried stew.Oh lala.I used to dread sallah then cos you would work all day, all the adults sending you on errands but now I miss it

baby_123: Oh. I thought it was a woman. Why are the men most aggressive about this? . This situation it really does take a special man for a woman to be happy. Or the woman has to have a special mentality at a young age. otherwise... I never dreamt of getting married before 25. I just didnt see it. Life as a single lady was quite sweet. . I am really happy i had that time.

I get your point baby, its a valid one thats why I still think it comes back to mindset.I actually lived alone for a while before I got married(outside Nigeria though) and it was that time that I really grew up (I lived alone in Uni but its not the same).

I really do not see anything I am really missing out on now cos as I said been there, done that.Some people dont need to be there done that and some people who got married young (sometimes) feel they kinda missed out on something. Of the two people I know got married young and are now divorced that was partly the reason the marriages crashed.One kept comparing herself to single girls like us and kept clashing with her husband who felt she was being irresponsible by always fobbing off her kids on any available person (to be honest the girl overdid it).Financial issues too cos she was not working and wanted to be buying aso ebi like us that had no pressing responsiblities.

As I said it takes a certain kind of maturity and if the OP has it, she is good to go.

Hello people.About to hit the sack so Goodnight.So tired I can actually feel my bones ache .Also a bit sad cos heard of a young death and some other bad news from Nigeria. It is well.

May the peace of the Lord that supercedes all human understanding be with us all IJN.

Again goodnight

OP look at who YOU are and see if it would work for YOU.There is no point going on about all the pros and cons (like most things in life)as so many people have broken them down on this thread.
BUT one mindset you should not go into it with is:
If this one goes, will I get another suitor? very shaky foundation to build a marriage on.By all means go ahead if this is the person you see yourself building your life with and not as an escape route or as a panic buy (you know that feeling of I need to buy this shoes what if the designer discontinues it).Marriage is not a badge.It goes alot further than filling in married when asked for Marital status.

I don't think I could have coped with marriage in my 2nd year of university (but then I was 18 so entirely diff story) by 23 I was already working so its very subjective(though my Dad still felt I was a baby back then ).Its all down to the individual and takes mental strength to cope with..I have friends who got married early, some are doing so well in their marriages and two are divorced.As long as you are going in with the right mindset it all good.

For all those talking about juggling, life itself is a juggle ojere.I have gone back to school,run a business, have two kids under 5 with no live in domestic help and I did not get married relatively early or before finishing my first degree.Juggling kids and a hectic career aint so easy either.So at one point or the other in life you have to juggle.Some have the capacity at 20, some in their 30's.Some people have traveled the world and sown all the wild oats they want to sow at 21, some are not even started at 30.I feel my life now is relatively boring but I really dont feel like I am missing out on anything spectacular (ok my sleep ;Dthat one I want back) cos been there done that.
Life is really never black and white and like alot of things,it all boils down to the individual.

God bless you ileobatojo.

Sorry to say Africa has a long way to go .

babyosisi: You must be enjoying it then
You neither live with or are married to him and yet you let him have this much control over you to the extent of confessing death unto your life.
I hope you leave a letter from the grave that will make NL. Frontpage when you finally end up RIP
Honestly I feel like slapping some commonsense into you right now
Rubbish

She now lives with him.She has made alot of wrong choices that need slaps I agree but not right now.She needs to just leave that enviroment.

I myself have never gotten the abusive boyfriend bit its boyfriend not marriage BUT one thing I have learnt is to try not to judge a person until I have walked a mile in their shoes.

theLORDreigns: I went 2 d contact section of d above link & spoke with Hassan Jaffer (+1 416 460 8003). He said he was presently in Canada & the organisation doesn't deal with such cases. They provide aids in form of dental treatments and help build schools.

He wanted 2 give me d contact of someone in Zanzibar but its d same story-they can't help

God bless you theLord reigns.

Kenyatta where is your family located? Can you access your travel documents if need be?

We are all worried about you, you really need to remove yourself . Its not like the othe cases did not move me but I know how it is when you are in a strange Land without most of your family not to talk of being abused by a psycho.

Hello everyone.........How una dey?

chaircover: Hi Damiiiiii Ive just ordered some from my suya seller. I ordered N1000 worth. I will pick it up tomorrow.

CC you better order another N1000 worth We are plenty on that suya pepper, me jidegirl, efe, chilli (jide named her food affairs minister so she even needs double portion )

And dont forget gala, dried pepper, garri, ogbono, pap, iruetc

Just joking o Peckham is still existing ojare so why will we be stressing Posh madam CC with all those razz stuff

pickabeau1: Dont know if this is useful but you can check..

http://www.moh.go.tz/


http://www.helpage.org/blogs/juliana-bernard-1608/working-for-womens-rights-in-tanzania-280/

Thanks biola been researching what they have in Tanzania is a mobile clinic.was going to post the links you put up.

Kenyattamoore, if all those links are not useful,go to a police station (I dont know how it works in east africa) and get them to refer you to the social welfare office.I am guessing you are Kenyan can you find your way to your Embassy.
I would have also suggested a church but sometimes african churches are not really practical in situations like this.

Pls LEAVE, your dealing with a brute who is also psychotic.

http://outreachzanzibar.org/about/affiliation-and-structure/


Another one

http://dinafoundation.com/ourworki

HI Kenyattamoore, found this link on a google search for womens refuges in Zanzibar.
I think they help victims of sexual assault etc
They might just be a stop gap till you can return to your family.Pls leave that place NOW.

kreami diva: @ switosman,did she not exhibit such traits when you people were dating

Does she see you as a weak man Don't you assert your authority as the man of the house

Has she got no home training

What's her background Did she watch her mum abuse her dad

Sorry to generalise, but girls intent on marrying and hooking a man are the best actresses ever.Oscar award winning actresses aint got nothing on them.