₦airaland Forum

Oga R231 I should be in your office tomorrow.

Many more lines available

Now that I have lived outside Nigeria and I see how retail banking is run, I really don't get the point of the marketing units in Naija banks
.If we are talking investment banking now maybe I can understand a bit but retail banking.Uhhhm.

Hello all, hope you are having a fab tuesday.

You can email the accessorieslounge@gmail.com

I hated manchester's weather(my husband used to live there).Very depressing.

coogar: who is exactly a runs girl?

Ask wikipedia

jidegirl12: You're too kind, first class is no go area ..... Second class upper sef.. Na so Toto rare reach? They're all bunch of lazy girls looking for easy way out....

Blame every aforethought miseries ( afowofa) on something shaaa

Blame it on the Alcohol for drunk driving
Blame it on parents for losing their vaginity
Blame it on parents divorce for joining cultism
Blame it on significant other for cheating

Eeshhh

In my opinion, a runs girl in University would find it difficult or hard not to put out to get on at work.In the first instance why do young girls sleep with old men in university? Its more or less to be seen as a 'big girl',to feel bigger and better than the next girl.I knew girls who were already buying 100k gold as students so really( i know there are cases where people really do change) how will she not want keep up the big girl routine after school?

That said its harrrdddd not to fall into those temptations.Speaking from experience here.I worked with and knew some randy ass men and believe me it takes alot of guts.Is it the flaunting of money (one wanted us to go to dubai on fri to come back on sunday) or the position you could have.If I wont lie sometimes I felt haa haa sebi this thing no dey read meter But I guess my background (not money here cos my parents could definitely not afford to give me some of the stuff this people were promising) just made it an anathema to me.


That said I have friends who are doing well in Nigeria ( i know doing well is relative but they are doing well) and did not sleep with anyone.And as coogar has been saying they were never that way inclined . Technical know how and years of experience garnered on the job.But coogar this people am talking about are now as fit (ok not as fit ) as kim kardashian.You know no say money dey make person fine ni

coogar: 4.5 GPA students are usually unattractive. most of them look like 11-year-old boys.

This coogar eh

Are you saying Kim Kardashian looks and 4.5CGPA are not a possible mix?

But seriously in my experience (and I had friends who were runs girls) often this lecturers often saw a loop hole which is often absence in class, unsubmitted course work, general non chalance to school work and voila they strike.Not saying there are not ones who are serious that get propositioned but they are generally lower than those that cant be arsed with school work anyway.

coogar: plenty of them approach lecturers - that was how most of them got their admission in the first place. these "minors" have slept with WAEC/JAMB invigilators to use mercenaries or expos to pass their exams.

I agree to a certain level, I went to university in Nigeria and as rotten as the system might be, its rare (not impossible) to see a lecturer harassing a First class 4.5 GPA female student sex.ually.

My mum has three uncles that she is older than.

r231: * Air freight charge is based on the highest chargeable weight i.e. the highest weight between the actual and the volume (dimensional) weight.

* Sea freight charge is based on the dimensions/ size of the item.

*Shipment leaves our warehouse every Friday. From the date of cargo departure from UK, it takes allow an estimated 5 to 7 days for arrival at the destination.

* Unless otherwise noted, all rates given cover clearing charges in Nigeria.

* When sending your goods please address it to yourself c/o Airfreight Dept.

Please send your packages to:

Your Name:
C/O Airfreight Department
326 New Cross Road
London
SE14 6AG



Find below our rate.

AIRFREIGHT FROM UK
LAGOS (pick up at Ikeja office) -£3.50/KG
LAGOS (Door delivery) - £3.95/KG

* Rates are based on the highest chargeable weight be it volume weight (dimensional weight) or actual weight.

E.g. a box with 59 x 59 x 59 weighing 30KG will be billed per below.
Volume weight: 35kg
Actual Weight: 30kg
Estimated rate: 35kg x 3.50 = £123 to pick up the item at our Lagos office.

Note:
• Rates to other destinations varies.
* All quotations given over the phone or online are estimates based on the dimensions or actual weight given by the customer.

Oga R231 if I want a package to leave for naija next friday latest, it has to be in your office by thursday abi?And is New Cross Road the one that has Hong Kong City Restaurant or further down by new cross station? Will be coming by train.

So so true about how a father affirms who you are.Me and my younger sis were chatting yesterday about how she kinda hates going for family functions now.This is because she keeps getting annoying innuendos about her bringing home a husband.We were both like all this people would not dare be asking all those questions if my Dad were there .People sef knew the man, he will tell you straight up my girls are first individuals who are meant to be first achievers in their own rights.If a man comes along that will match their goals fine but please NEVER ever put pressure on my girls regarding marriage.She was like I miss Daddy alot o.

Han that Man built up our self esteem.

Nashville nailed it in his post. I hope all fathers can have that mindset.

Hilarious ;DBut serious.But as madam Greatgod said most people have a slight hint of some of these qualities.
Eg My husband can be headmasterish about some certain things and believe me it can be sooooo annoying.Things like punctuality, health and safety, (one slight wet nappy lets book an appt with the gp like that's how he goes to doctors ).I am.always telling him to take a chill pill jo, abeg lets not raise plastic children, , they will be fine.And I know I annoy him to no end with that my attitude

Its normal with the first .The most important thing is to make you can trust (to an extent) who you are leaving her with.Though there are so many pervs out there, , there are still loads of good people out there.

A 3 yr old though can talk esp as you said she is intelligent so its a lil easier.I had that anxiety when my daughter was much younger and I was going back to work . People kept volunteering or giving me cheaper alternatives that I was not comfortable with. In the end I settled for a childcare arrangement that was pricey but gave me peace of mind.

I doubt if its in the pool cos that's not even possible .How will she hold the baby, float ? (Not even going to bother trying to imagine the scenario ).


That said I dont think there is anything wrong with breastfeeding a child under 6 months in public as long as you are fully covered.I personally prefer retreating to a secluded area (still covered) but some places have no baby facilities. So what will you do esp for a child who refused the bottle?

Cover up though, cover up dont assault people's senses with your areolaa

For the gift of health.For my Family and most of all knowing that the Almighty God has my back

Efemena_xy: I remember it all like yesterday. Now you'll understand why me too not dey gree for my sons.

They all cook wella now, and I mean proper African foods. Jollof rice, stew, soups, starch, Eba, pepper soup, etc. They know how to clean fresh fish, boil and season meat/chicken and roast the lot.

Last time we went home for xmas, the family was shocked to see my sons expertly change their baby sister's soiled nappy. Na them dey even teach the girls how to do it.

Ha! I'm preparing them for independant lives. It'll help them.

Well done efe, I did not do as much as you as well but did my fair bit.As a child I used to grumble and think why then do we have househelps if I still have to do this much chores, but believe me I find that training so useful now.

My husband had the kind of efe's training.When they went back to Naija, they did not even have househelps cos as I heard their mum was a strict disciplinarian and made them do all sorts.My husband knows how to make odd stuff from scratch eg Ogi (Pap), like WTH makes pap from scratch. .I have said it before on NL, he can make certain things better than me, he even prefers making the swallows cos he says mine is never as soft or smooth (which is true ).I really am not a fan of swallows and can do without eating them.

My SIL says that upbringing really helped them when their mum died (my husband was just 15 ).

chaircover: I think your answer lies in a number of reasons

1. many times the husbands dont help around the house

2. The houses are larger and so need more maintenance. For example the larger the house, the larger the space that needs sweeping in and outside the house. The more the bathrooms, the more that need to be cleaned. There is also the dust issue

3. Some people are just plain lazy

4. Life is generally more difficult and what will take me a couple of minutes to do here may take me much longer in Nigeria. e.g going to market. Here I can buy everything I need in one shop, but in Nigeria I will have to go from stall to stall, pricing etc
Here I plug my hoover and away I go. In Nigeria, if there is no light, I either have to sweep with broom, wait for nepa to bring light or go and switch on my gen

5. Bad management - some people dont have house-helps and they still maintain clean and tidy homes. If people sat down and managed the jobs properly, then it wont be so difficult. I see people cook stew, turn off burner, then put on rice. what a waste of time! why not use two burners at the same time?

6. [b]Big madam syndrome - I know of someone whose house-girls help her carry her bag to the hairdresser on the next street.

These are the few I can think of

The bolded join am.You know I am always joking that I want to move to Nigeria to do oga madam ..Madamism ( I need to copyright that word ) is also a big factor.
Like yellowpaw paw said some people cannot anywhere with their kids without the househelps.

When I visit Nigeria, my friends some who dont have 9 to 5 jobs will come and visit.Here are some of the scenarios;

The housegirl carrying everything plus the baby tagging along behind.She walks in tells the housegirl to go and tell the driver to switch off the AC in the car as her fuel is wasting.I say ahan in this heat let him come in now, she says no its not necessary let him stay in the car.I say ahan in this heat let him come In jo, she says so where will he stay, abi you want him to be listening to our conversation. Thankfully my mums flat has one small sitting area so he can stay there.She banishes housegirl there too till she is needed.She wants her to take the kids I say no.


Our kids are playing and then feeding, me I don sort everything dey feed my pikin, she calls housegirl, to come feed child.Tells me to let housegirl take over mine too. I say how many hands does the girl have.They soil their diapers, I want to change my daughter she what are you doing let patience come and change her, I say patience ko jonathan ni who changes it for me in the Uk.Kids are getting boisterous, I give my daughter a look and tell her does she want a treat so she has to behave, get out crayons and paper.My friend says what are you doing let patience come and take them outside to play.I say why patience let them colour a lil after we take them outside.She is like who has time for all this one, you don dey think like oyinbo. They are disturbing our gist naa.What am I paying patience (had to change the name who knows whose reading what ) for? .I SMH and say na wa o.Its meant to be a playdate if we want to gist without them we go out and organise the grandmas to have them so we have OUR time away from the kids.

Maybe because I do it all myself sha, I puzzle at the over dependence.

@CC and Efe You are right that its a thing that needs a mindset change.In the Nigerian Dad thread it seemed like I was kinda making my Dad into some kind of matyr but one of his many values he (my mum too but more him) impacted into me was you need treat EVERY human being irrespective of who or what they are as you would want to be treated.Everyone that knows me says I am kinda 'soft' when dealing with people but I just cant help being that way.Thats how I was brought up.

All our househelps were older so first off mum and dad made us call them sister. My younger bro still jokes that its only in our house that house helps had more rights than the children of the house .My Dads favourite mantra was they too are someone's children.My Dad's behaviour was consistently like that to all people you would consider beneath him.I remember the konk I got when he caught me sitting in 'owners corner' when his driver was taking me to school
I went to a quite superficial sec school and most people used to say my driver .Dem no born me well.My mum sef used to caution him cos he was kinda too lenient on his staff.

The flipside is sometimes (not all the time) in the Nigerian society, people like my Dad are seen as mugus.Haaa that my oga na real mugu.Someone who decided to treat the next person as a human being like himself is seen as a fool.I saw that happen too many times to my Dad.He was firm but certain liberties which should be normal anyway were often seen as ok yes this one can be taken for a ride.Its puzzling to know that some of these people actually are more comfortable being treated like less humans.

Dont worry sniper, I have read you story, you are an amazing mum

Dont think it could be worse than our antics on this thread

https://www.nairaland.com/1128688/cheeky-shortcuts-take-parents-make

I for one prefer the cleaning help come in once a week.Its tidier, more convenient and often always done by an ADULT.I am not one of those people who judge and sneer at people that have house helps but I kinda draw the line at using a 12 yr old pre pubescent child as:

Nannny, Cook, Washman, Cleaner, sometimes shop girl etc

Heck some 12 yr old cant even bath themselves properly not to talk of shouldering such huge responsiblities.

We had househelps while growing up and they were always over 16.My mum never used to kid herself cos she would say she is not looking to take on another baby .But she had friends who thought she was tempting my dad . My mum gave them 2 weekends a month off and even gave them money aside their salaries to fix their hair.Her response was often if I cant trust my husband not to behave himself with hired help I truly have no businesd being married to such a person.

I know everyone says this but we really treated them well, like 2 are still in touch with my mum and are now madams in their own right. They both played active roles at my wedding.I remember one (cant forget she was so nice she was like my elder sister) Sister Adijah.My mum fought tooth and nail for them not to take her into a forced marriage.I think she was about 19 and she had been betrothed to one old alfa (islamic cleric).She was already writing GCE with us and was very very brainy, one thing my dad was very passionate about was the girl child being empowered.It was such a tense time in our house cos my parents did not want to let het go and her ' uncle' accussed my parents of using her her 'head' for spiritual purposes .It was messy and eventually my grandpa told my mum to let her go.I wonder where she is today

Very pretty, sophisticated no one ever believed she was our house help.

bellong: To bring in a different dimension about "Nigerian dad". I want to believe that many people can not differentiate a good man, a good husband from a good father. Hence, the generalisation "Nigerian men" are useless probably because he is not a good husband.

A man can be good to the community around him and society at large and still be a bad father or bad husband. He may be a good husband and end up being the worst dad in the world. It takes grace, determination and disciplined character to be all at the same time which some men just couldn't come to terms with.

My dad fits in the perfect example of a good man but a bad husband cum dad. Yes, he was good to the society, helped everybody in need, paid fees of those who couldn't afford it etc. If there was to be a questionnaire of his character passed without the involvement of his close family, he would have had a 98% pass if not more. Yet, he failed on all fronts in his home. I can count the number of times I saw my dad in my lifetime, let me say I have no single story I can tell of my dad but that will not lead me to a generalisation remark that all nigerian fathers are bad. I do not like a general statement because it doesn't do well with the whole population.

Nevertheless, I still appreciate my dad because he is/was my dad and he did what he thought was best for his family. The experience I had built in me a solid foundation that my wife and children will always appreciate God for. I am of the school of thought of learning from every situation and becoming better for the experience. I have a young boy of 71/2month, I can't trade the joy and expression on his face anytime I arrive home with hanging out with boys. There was something I missed from a father figure which I am not ready for the cycle to continue. There is nothing his mother does that I can't do including changing diapers and bathing except that anytime I bath him, soap always find a way of entering his eyes .

@Op, you have made a good decision, keep to the resolve and you will be better for it in the long run.

Absolutely love this

I am happy you chose to learn from his mistakes cos most times when we resent our parents for things they might have or not done, we end up being bitter people and one or the other find ourselves becoming that person.And voila the same vicious cycle continues.You are so right about a good husband not necessarily being a good father and vice versa.

May God help us all to succeed at this parenting thing.

Nice one jidegirl.That humility one really is something I have learnt esp when dealing with trying to accept my husband for who he is; and not trying to 'bend' him to suit me (and my family ).

Also good points by Efe and CC.Tolerance dat one na good one again.Yorubas call it amojukuro (sorry cant translate it but I think it means tolerance to an extent ) is very important in dealing with certain issues. I had to learn that we are two different people brought up by different people in different backgrounds(in our case very different locations and religions) so of course we wont always have the same POV on most most issues.

naijababe: Ogbeni, he is a naturalised Brit. Even Mo Farah despite the medals wey e win still get his background mentioned jo.

Abi o, no be ghana dem born am ni So he is ghanian born.

My husband was born here but he applied for a certain high security clearance job and could ot be taken further cos at least one of his parents was not a brit.No hard feelings cos na true him papa and mana come from Nigeria.My kids might be slightly different cos at least they have one brit parent.

Make we no dey decieve ourself, son of the soil is diff from son of the come join .Happens everywhere bro.It will be difficult (not impossible) for a hausa person to become oba of lagos without being reminded of his ancestry.

Efemena_xy: Abeg it's still wrong jor. I personally can't live like that. Something'll have to give.

Re: The bolded bit - now that really is interesting!

Biko, explain how that works? Hubby and wifey sharing a one-room (not bedroom) flat, with just one bedroom. And the visiting family member is an adult male?

D'you mean all three share the same bed??

And, how do hubby and wifey get their freak on at night?

LOL.As my Dad of blessed memory would always say, a situation that cannot be helped must be endured

@OP if you guys are the only people he can bunk with it in lagos, the best option is make the living room conducive for him I.e. sofa bed jidegirl mentioned. Dont know if they are sold in naija though.

If there are alternative options I.e siblings with bigger living spaces, Its your husband (not you) that might have to suggest him staying there for a while.

The relative of said inlaw (in this case your husband) is often the best person to deal with sensitive issues like this.

biolabee: Yes he has a south western name but I no gree.. Na brit

You no see as dem cast adebolajo wey get brit passpeort as nigerian or kweku adoboli as ghanaian

Erm it was more Naija people that called him Nigerian.I watched Sky, BBC news during the height of it and it was more when talking of the parents that Nigeria came into the picture.Its like those Boston bombers the fact that they were Chenchynan came up cos they emigrated to the US.Same with the parents of Adebolajo and Adebowale.On programmes like News night and Question Time brits were discussing how to tackle home grown terrorists.

It was NL and naija blogs that were fixated on their 'Nigerianess'

yellowpawpaw: U r very correct.
I don't normally dwell long on topics cos I get easily bored but this one,I intend makin pple know the benefits of spendin quality time with ones kids.it pays off well.I stress so much on it cos I know lots of cases.
I will go personal again. My buddy wasn't close to the dad.His dad is now a retired director general.
This guy said that one day while he was passin tru his parents door,voices were raised.
He heard his almighty dad accusin his mum (how will I put it)that she is selfish,the children only lvs her(especially my friend) and don't lv him. That is a very respected and influental man in this country cryin like a baby.
My friend said he couldn't wait to hear the mummy's reply but he was badly shaken.
Who knows what this man must hv been passin tru.
My friend has to initiate the bonding. The first time,he asked for his dads opinion over an issue,the man's high bp dropd a bit. Today,they r good paddys.
Bonding simply breeds friendship.
U and ur dad should be friends and not just father and child only.
No excuse is acceptable even if u work in d moon pls.

My hands hurt.I hate typing.

You are right on the bonding bit but I slightly beg to differ on the' friends' bit.You know some people are not good at boundaries and I have seen cases where people (oyinbos especially) spend so much time trying to be their children's friend, they forget to be parents.

You know this parenting thing is quite a complex tricky business.As I said there is no excuse for not making time for your kids . The key issue should be what are you impacting in that time together. My husband certainly is miles diff from my dad cos for one my husband is a home body while my dad was baba jaiye jaiye (club on friday night, late night meetings cos he was into politics)etc but I cant just generalise and say my husband is def a better father than my dad was.I definitely could not cope with my dad as a husband but looking back now I dont even think my mum could have coped with my husband's type. When she comes to visit, she asks if my husband never goes to hang out with his friends .

I am not going to make my Dad out as a matyr cos he certainly was not BUT I strongly believe those values he instilled in me makes me who I am today.Diff style but still good result.I cant definitively say my husband is a better dad cos he spends more time (collectively cos he comes home straight from work almost everyday and all hanging out is done together as a family) than my dad ever did with us.

Oh dear, which wan come consain cabal again naa for this mata I thought we were talking about how dads can go about spending more time with their kids (to me sef everyone cos as I said this thing is becoming gender neutral).

Please me I no want this kain cabal o, Cabal ontop nothing wey na me sef they pay BT and EE. .Naa.I want to find out how they join cabal where they share oyel money

Seriously though I dont see cabals.Some ids just have friendly banter.And all these ids disagree.Eg Me and Jidegirl get along but I disagree with some of her views on certain topics.So me I don't see where cabal is coming in.

Walahi some people take this NL thingy too seriously abeg

Efemena_xy: Good Morning all, and happy Sunday!

@CC & Yellow pawpaw, I get what you both are saying. You know, the most frustrating bit of it all is when you gave a completely different opinion to popular views, which some may think is radical.

Nothing wrong with being different and having points to back up your views in a mature debate. What I do find distasteful is / are people who take it upon themselves to throw insults, in the hope that these will subdue and smother your msg or views. Or them trying to to personal in the hope if scoring e-points with their insults, without contributing anything useful themselves.

This is an open forum where all should feel free to state their thoughts on any topic. Personally, I don't have an issue with harmless banter. But when people decide to make it personal and lay on the insults, then that's when the Report To Moderator button comes in handy and a ban.

No need for long story jare.

Anyway, I stand for justice and equality for all. My opinions are my opinions and I'll never feel the need to "follow the crowd", nor form e-alliances. Yeah, I may get on well with certain handles but that won't stop me from disagreeing with them if need be. We are after all, unique in our individual ways.

Gbam.

I seriously really dont understand why people carry e-grudges (should that even be a word) Life is stressful enough so as not to be getting stressed by an anonymous person.

Back to topic,another useful tip is creating family time for you to all just jist.This is applicable for slightly older kids but even though sometimes then I would be rollling my eyes , my dad used to call us all together or sometimes individually and ask you what's going on with you.
Brb

jidegirl12: Pass which meat? Meat that I almost finished? ( counting it again ) ... Had to share with the person that brought it from home ... I thot it's 'forbidden sacrificial mea't , now she wants it all of a sudden mtcheww

Abeg leave grandpa alone Abeg, no vex.. OMG Nbabe you will not believe what I just jammed ... fried lungs (Fuku right?).. Pele ... and my apologies to vegetarians here

I thot it was only me that loved that wood fried ram meat.If you know how many of my friends say am not 'Christian' enough cos I eat sallah mea.Very soon its dont eat my mums food when I go home cos she is an alhaja.Double mtshew

Naijababe and jidegirl abeg let's stop derailing with the sallah meat gist naaa .

Not saying that Nigerian men are generally poster dads or that they are not, but I think this thread might be subjective being that quality time means different things to different people.I think its even more a generation thing world over jare.Before I moved here, I used to think ALL or Most western men were what you would call ideal husbands or ideal fathers.FaFa foul.Their women complain just as much.You should read blogs on Netmums Coffehouse.

I watch alot of documentaries like Who Do You Think You Are and pretty much till about say 30 40 yrs ago, child rearing was pretty much the woman's domain even in the west.Soccer mum is sha an oyinbo colloquial expression.Ask a 60 yr old oyinbo guy he probabIy also cant remember him and his Dad playing.Its just that ideals are shifting and our men are taking a lil longer in joining the party .Maybe cos some of our women still believe the man must provide everything.

Its relative sha.My Dad never bathed or changed any of our diapers.He never had the need to cos my mum sef come to think of it never did much as well.We had househelps and my mum had her MIL, her mum, her grand mum and loads of aunties who dropped everything to come help her.If I think of it sef, , quality bonding time with my mum came in my mid to late teens (thats if we want to go by oyinbo bonding).She was too busy 'training' me to be a good wife and mother in future.I remember when I would sneak to watch football with my dad her response would be Ato yin ti, ti omo e ba sunkun wa ma wo ball (I leave you two to it sebi when your baby is crying you will be watching football) .Me and my husband check out transfer windows every evening and keep cussing out arsene wenger so I dont think its affected my marriage sha


Playing with kids is something we are still learning.Even me sef, when I go on play outings with my daughter and her oyinbo friends, I am in awe .Me by the time my daughter says mummy why like 20 times, I say bebe pls am tired I just told you that, or 5 more rides and no more.Oyinbo mum, answers like 500 questions with darling at the end, she will ride scooter sef .

jidegirl12: Thanks Nashville .... Bout time we stop all these negative stories and encourage younger generations out there, I've had the good, bad and the ugly experience growing up but I chose to remember the good part and share with people rather than dwell in Negative part which will do nobody no good whatsoever.

I've said it before, lets be careful what we share here, people visit family section and use these 'old timers' ( cc, debrief and co) advices as a go to manual. .......There's time for everything, I don't think sharing the Bad is appropriate this time around IMO... Encourage these guys to be there for their kids, hard but helping with bedtime routine at least twice a week will encourage bonding and boost their self esteem...... I swear I haven't met that person that can outdo me in so many aspects. My Dad will tell you to dust yourself up that there's nothing to it.

Who are we kidding here? Most weekdays are busy for many dads & parents in Nigeria and diaspora. Owning a business even makes it worse.

My dad was practically hands on parent , wiped my bûtt, and most importantly a good provider, I had everything , mention it that material stuff that I haven't rocked , but he's always home late on weekdays, I remembered waiting outside with our nanny and meguard till 9:30-10pm ish , I heard him honk and jump with joy, I watch him eat supper while doing our homework on the dinning table, ( put meat in my mouth) , pray the last salat as a family with my brothers and sleep in his room mostly on weekdays.

Fast forward... Now my husband lives for his kids, our weekdays are super busy too , but we have a timetable of activities we do every weekend, sometimes we fight because he gets carried away and leaves me on the sideline caring for these kids... they adore him and last night he asked the middle one jokingly ; who's the only boy in your life that is allowed to kiss you and they all replied you Daddy.

Do I know other families ( Nigerian) that prefer to buy another property in Nigeria OVER mere $10k lifetime experience cruise vacation that kids will remember till they're 30 and up? Absolutely.

So true jidegirl, so true. An inheritance is great but lets also remember to leave them lasting memories of time spent together.This thread has just put me in a nostalgic mood all day, just texted my husband to say I feel a lil low cos been remembering my dad.

As nashville also said its getting to be a gender neutral issue nowadays sef.I know mothers who are struggling to spend time with their kids.Its a hard juggle combining a hectic work schedule with spending time with your kids.I remember I would just choose not to go a party cos 1. I was tired 2. I had spent circa like 10 hrs altogether during the working week with my daughter, then on saturday will go for party, sunday spend a considerable amount of time in church and maybe go visit family or something. I just used to say to myself esp if it was not someone close, wo I wont be missed jo.