₦airaland Forum

chaircover: Ai te te mole ooooooooooo

I sent you no less than 3 emails but no response

I am vexing more than you sef. . . .but becasue its Xmas Ive stopped vexing

CC we no tell you

As for Christmas shopping, I am.def not going overboard this year. Not even done half of the shopping which is soooo unlike me but na my pikins I dey pity jare.The whole novelty of Christmas has worn off for me ojare.All these gift buying is just stress joor.

peggykorol: Bath kids just once a day
Oluwa is involved
Go get urself a help jare
Dusty environment ko
No wonder some kids smell then u begin to wonder

Except kids have done activities i.e gym, p.e. etc why would you want to bathe kids more than once a day? You have a point with the dusty environment so maybe in Najja but I really will not bathe my kids more than once a day in -2 degrees.

Okay since it's still been hammered on, no one is saying having a help is bad just get an adult that is paid at least min wage.That said I wonder why some people find it difficult to believe you can cope without an house help .

Well not to be an hypocrite I used to also think that I could never cope without an house help as I grew up with them but guess what i actually am coping quite well. As I type my kids are in bed and I have about 2 or 3 hours to chill doing nothing if I so please.Its all planning and routine.

Efemena_xy: Ashley Walters...even the name sounds romatic sef...handsome, sexy dude... I bet he's got baby soft palms too...(sigh)

Dami, who's Idris Elba?

Osisi, sorry for the digression o! A girl's allowed to dream na, abi?

Idris Elba is Luther (a crime show on BBC 1).He also played the lead in the new Mandela movie.His voice, his skin......Pls let me stop .Hubby knows I like him sha same way I know he thinks beyonce is gorgeous.

Paris-fran:
Your BFF's crush is gay . My BFF had a crush for yrs on that Prison Break guy and when he proclaimed his gay status, I laughed at her for months..

Idris Elba is gay .
No I don't believe you joor.

Efemena_xy: YES O!!

I've got the hots for a couple of actors, one of which is a certain actor on the hit Channel 4 Series called Top Boy. Only thing is I can't ever have him na

Damiso, help me out here... you recorded the entire series 1 and 2 - what's his real name sef??

2nd choice is another actor on Sky Living currently showing the Dracula series...Mwah!!! Oh for that kiss on the neck - so romantic! I even like him better than him appearing as King Henry VIII

Ashley Walters...Him and the other guy were in Kidulthood I think he is a rappers(hubby is always like I don't get your fascination with gang/street life ) I guess its true women kinda like bad boys.

And yeah I agree with Efe, those tv crushes can be something else o .I actually blush when I watch Idris Elba, I don't know what will happen if I meet him in real life. .

As per exes, my most serious ex was a douche bag so there is no unresolved feelings there .I don't think I have fancied any guy in that way since I got married.

Efemena_xy: ^^ The middle finger to be precise

Father Lord in Heaven,My eyes hurt .But all of una are married women why una dey wonder about other men's yekinis , face your oga's yekini pls .

As for Passwords pins etc, as others have said the only ones I am really bothered about is the bank cards, internet banking and I know those.As has been said knowing those stuff should not be the premise for saying he cheats or not.It should be more a convenience thing.

My Mum and Dad have this old family friend I have known all my life.The man is on his 2nd marriage to someone who should be working for the CIA (she snatched the man from his first wife as she was a member of the household staff don't want to give specifics cos he is quite known in Naija coporate circles). I guess she knows the score .Monitors the man like someone who is crazed, people can't even visit them at home without her suspecting.Do you know this man has another wife(ok mistress) in London? He has phones she does not even know about.He keeps them in people's offices not even his cos she can just show up and start ransacking.In a way I do not pity the man but when my mum paints the specifics its a really pathetic case.So its not about phones and passwords.

Ewuro707: Babyme & Mrs Masson, your displayed guilty conscience and fear of being perceived as lazy bones is very understandable. What are you trying to achieve? Nobody is judging you so please let others live.

Would you please allow people of OP likes to share their opinion and time management skills?

Thank you.




LoL.


OP
My other secret is a crock pot, that thingy cooks everything in this world, name it. All ingredients in, turn on , food is ready by the time you get back from work. And no fire hazard too, so no need too worry.

Another tip taken especially for all those cow foot, stewed beans etc .I have one kain olden days pressure cooker but hubby keeps telling me that thing is a health and safety disaster waiting to happen .Thank you. .Will look at buying one as soon as possible.

And yes please, can we just keep it at tips and not househelp vs no househelp there are plenty of threads for that.

baby_123: OP,

the parents may have married her off to the man with the understanding that she is a housemaid.


So he returned her back when the maid did not behave as expected.

Na how you sell your pikin dem go price am.

This is for parents that dont respect themselves in front of inlaws. And admit anything in shorts or pants to marry their child as long as he has small change.

Tueh!

Another angle.I can't imagine some kind scenarios with some kind parents. Very razz and bush set up.

Ewuro707: And someone is making sense and finally gets it

Efe is on fire!!!

Yenyenyen sit her down one on one blah blah, talk is cheap behind their phone/computers on here.

Action speaks louder than just mere words especially when you're dealing with he/she-goats.

Wonder why cops use teasers on some drivers after hours of convo yielding no results? Nobody is preaching violence, but when you've had too much crap, put a sock on it- impolite but works a great deal.

Sowie.

And CC says this is not our beloved jydo .Yenyenyen is so like her vocab.Sorry ewuro but you remind me sooo much of jidegirl and deep down I think you are her .

@Post funny if true . warranty things. .Extreme and immature but a bit better than getting physical.

bukatyne: Hi damiso,

Sometimes, i really like your view on some issues. You seem not to have gotten the everyone must marry bug and a woman has no life outside marriage

Marriage really hinder some people fulfilling their call. Some are wise enough to marry someone with like vision and others esp men force their spouses to sacrifice for them to fulfil it.

I reallly don't expect a married woman or man to compete with the singles in terms of some activities. Funny enough, an average youth thinks the best time to serve God or discover themselves is after marriage.

It is well

Hi bukatyne.Even though it might not seem like it sonetimes I actually dont think marriage is a do or die affair . That's why I would advocate for a person to kinda discover themselves to an extent before they get married.If and when you decide to get married you can then actually know what you are bringing to the table and what you expect from your spouse.In a way (though as is often said different strokes for diff folks) I am not not really a fan of getting married while still in school.It works for some(some people are really matured) but overall i think you need to come into yourself before marriage.Alot of issues in marriage stem from a loss or lack of identity?, self esteem issues (marriage is not a quick fix to esteem issues).In Nigeria (sorry to generalise) its annoying the way people harp on and on about marriage like its some kind of medal.I still told my mum to leave my sister alone this morning.Marriage (as in getting married not sustaining it so people should not get me wrong) is not an achievement.

yellowpawpaw: I forgot Dami, sorry o it didn't go to ur xpectation but u will learn from it against next planning. It seems u r in naija now.
Hope u all r cool.

Hello house!
Long time no c!

Has RR and co hibernated?

Thank you YPP.With all things you learn.My belief is nothing ventured nothing gained but we have taken lessons . It was even not that bad as I said still Thank God.
No I am not in naija at the mo, was meant to be but could not make it as I have some deadlines to meet.My sister coordinated for me with planning from here.

Nice post @OP.really handy tips . The koko as you said is the second adult in the house also pulling his weight.

I am taking that your get a wig tip....Going to the salon these days is a chore. ...*sighs* remembering the days when I carried my hair for 3 weeks maximum

Chillisauce: No wahala, as long as the crib is clean and there is enough orishirishi:-)B-);-)

Damiso, how was your sales. Abet package the reminants for me as per charity.

Bonjour â tous

Chilli we thank God oo.Not as successful as projected (girls are not smiling in Naija ) but still thank God.Thank you for asking.As per charity you wey be big madam. ;DAbi make you carry reach my side.I am a housewife I am looking to gain from Christmas turkey money .

Hows everyone? Let's not forget those kids who will not feel Christmas like ours in this season . From next year I am looking for ideas on how my kids(ok my daughter bobo is too small) can incorporate giving to others as part of their Christmas festivities. As I am looking at it the two of them are looking at about 15 to 20 gifts each (not all from us o aunties, uncles, godparents etc) and I am thinking is that not too much? .My daughters god mother is something else she had 6 presents from her alone last year.I guess I am old school but deep deep down I am not too comfortable with the number and volume of the gifts.To me its besides the point of the symbolism of Christmas. Oh well let me not be debbie downer.

Ihedinobi: I just remembered an issue I've always had with marriage. There's this program running on CNN right now about an organization, Wine To Water, that is dedicated to bringing potable water to places around the world where it's lacking. The organization was conceptualized and is run by this guy on TV. Still haven't paid enough attentipn to catch his name, sorry

A little bit was shown just now about the guy's family life and his wife very nearly broke down while describing how hard it was to never have him around. He's always off somewhere fighting the battles of drinking water and his kids are growing up almost completely without him. She mentioned that sometimes she feels like a single mom amd she gets rather lonely. But he explains that the best way to get his work done is to be right on the spot wherever drinking water is a problem.

Now I know that some of us here already mentioned about the demands of work that sometimes cuts into the demands of family but if it is just a phase that passes, it's one thing.. It's another entirely when it's the nature of a spouse's work, isn't it? If work takes me away from base so often and for so long that my wife starts to feel like a single mom and my kids adjust to me as to a visitor, isn't there a major problem?

I don't think that families should be strained that much. What do you guys think?

Revolutionaries or people who affect the world often have to make huge personal sacrifices.Often its their marriages or family.Hard pill to swallow as the spouse or child but nonetheless the reality.I watched a documentary on BBC 2 titled the 'Mandela's Prison Years' and it was obvious he adored Winnie.He loved her and she him (she was even a comrade in the struggle) but their marriage still could not withstand the pressures associated with that kind of life.
People tell me off and say its ok for me to say but I really dont believe marriage is for everyone. I know its a controversial belief but id take mother theresa anyday over ALOT of pastor's wives.Sometimes your purpose or calling is faar higher than marriage.My only grouse is if you know or kinda figured it out, pls dont marry and if you will be upfront make sure that person knows and maybe shares that vision.I do know though that humans change and the spouse might intially think they can but realise along the way they actually can't. It's complicated jare.

I have fellow OCD comrades in here .Things like knowing I have dirty dishes in the Sink could give me sleepless nights.I try to chill a lil but people who come to my house say I can't believe you have such young children with no domestic helpcos things are still so tidy.Even my 20 month knows what tidy up time means, I hate clutter, dirt, filth. All my friends still joke when we talk that dami you had issues,ii thought you would open a cleaning business

Lagos FunRoom abeg support a sister tomorrow at 'The Open Yard Sale'.All your fashion and beauty needs for the season at discounted rates.Freebies, great products at great ratesand maybe even a makeover thrown in.You can't afford to miss it.Venue is 100 hours Off Awolowo Road(opp bachus) Ikoyi Lagos.Time is 10am to 6pm.It promises to be fun...

I think its a female thing to talk talk especially when you are talking to someone who is quiet or calm Or says must we talk about this now.Like most people have said, I would practically not sleep all night wake up and be shooting daggers at him while he is blissfully snoring away .One day I thought to myself haa you will just give yourself high bp over someone who is just doing his own thing.So now like YPP and baby mama said I just bite my tongue and say nothing.Blank face even though am boiling inside. .He ABSOLUTELY hates it. .So its me that should be talking like a broken record when someone is watching Match of The Day and probably did not hear half of what I was saying.Naaa two can play that game

Nice hampers Tgirl.

So Tgirl based on Chilli's observation, is it really true I can create a similar thread? I wanted to publicise a one day sales event I am organising and I read the rules and decided against a thread.I mentioned it in the Funroom but waited till yourself or RR allowed it before I mentioned it on the thread.

Ujujoan: What has she ever bought for her husband

She earns 80k a month, in Nigeria that's a lot of money for someone with no responsibilities.

Her hubby takes care of the needs in the home so in actually fact, she does nothing with her money except take care of herself. I still don't see any reason why her hubby MUST give her extra money or buy her a phone.

If he's willing to, then no problem . . . but it also should not be a problem if he doesn't.

Uju you are sooo right.This brings us to a question that I have argued about with a couple of friends in the past....You work or earn an income separately from your husband but he pays ALL the bills, why do you then want an allowance again? Its fine if he gives it you but personally I dont see why you should actually quarrel or nag him about it? .I have had friends say 'He does not give me money' sebi he is paying the rent in a house that he lives in, he buys the food he too will eat, the school fees are they not his children, the car does he not drive it too? He is stingy cos he does not give me money. And I am talking of women who are working? I am not working at the mo cos I am studying but I soooo appreciate my husband paying ALL the bills without a single complaint. I tell him all the time and he says I should stop being silly as its his responsibility but I say No its OUR home so you doing it all by yourself without complaining is something I would never take for granted.So I can't see myself begruding him if he wont buy me a brand new car or expensive phone.Maybe I am being naive sha.

Chillisauce: Let her manage her 80k, since the man takes care of the food, housing etc. what does she do with her money

It should be enough for her to get herself her own s4.

GBAM.He pays his share of the bill and will buy the stuff needed at home so me I don't really see the problem.I kinda get if he does not give spontaneous gifts AT ALL like all women love but if its just about him rather buying stuff himself so 'she won't gain or rip him off' then its not really a big issue. Your friend should look inwards cos there must have been a genesis or trigger for his 'dont gain' stance.Men can like to give lil tests and maybe she failed some in the past.
If its the stingy as in not a giver as I said she can teach him.My husband does not believe Valentine's day is a real holiday .He could get me a gift say on Feb 10 and turn around and give me nothing on the 14th. .As you get older those things become more inconsequential now I just buy him a gift anyway and be happy if we can get a meal away from the kids.This year he suprised me by getting me a bottle of perfume even though I had made up my mind not to nag him about it as usual.

Just saw your reply Rhukie so it was not your spouse. Sorry for the assumption.

Some people are just naturally not giving.Not a nice trait, soo annoying but with people like that you either just leave them alone or teach them through your own actions what giving is.If it was me in the scenario you painted,since I earn my own money I might be a lil less fussed . He has bought the food ehn sebi we will all eat it so no problem even saves me going to the market.

This is where the know your spouse comes into play cos this kind of person is not the one you can agree with to reduce or give up your income with.It can never work.

Rhukie: Thank you Baby mama, CC and others that av contributed to dis educative thread. Although am single but I av learnt a lot. I av a question to ask. How can one handle a stingy spouse? Dis person make more dan a million in a month but he is very stingy. He is d one who buys food stuff and provision for the house and also buys pepper nd whatever condiment that will b used just because he doesn't want you to make a little of it. All he gives is 7k and he say anything you need to buy u shud say bt wen u do d reply ll b 'I am broke'. Pls help a sister.

Sorry Rhuki if I am probing.But you said you are single? So is the stingy spouse yours or its a general question?

My answer to you is you need to make your own money.Simples.Be proactive.Look around see a need or want and try to meet it.Its a turn off for some men to be asked for every lil thing.No matter how small, you need to get something doing for yourself. And as I can deduce from your post, seems you guys are not even married and probably have no kids so nothing absolutely NOTHING stops you from earning your keep.

chaircover: Kai!!! until you roped me into this conversation . . .

Okay since this is a very honest and adult thread, I will say it as it is

I believe that a married couple can do whatever pleases them in the bedroom so long as they are both comfortable with it.

I also know that like most things, sexx can become monotonous if you do the same thing day in day out and that is why I am an firm advocate of change in the bedroom.

Just as oil lubricates machines and keeps the mechanism smooth, so is good sex between couples. It brings couples closer and so its very important. Has anyone noticed that the longer since the man has had sexx, the grumpier he becomes over time?

One thing I dont compromise on is "US" time and at any given opportunity we will dump the kids and we go off somewhere to reboot and recharge. So from time to time we do weekends away in hotels and we come back home smiling like a newly wedded couple.

My bedroom is a high priority room in my house and I can spend anything on good quality sheets and bedding . . anything to make it inviting and conducive.

As for the sex toyss question . . . even though I sell them, my advise is that each couple should only go with what they are comfortable with and they are not a must. It also doesn't have to be heavy stuff and even something as simple as a warming/cooling sensation condomm, flavored lube or chocolate paint is also considered a sexx toy, so also are some types of lingerie like the crotchless ones. Basically only go with what you are both comfortable with.

Is that so? .Just joking.But its true sha lil lil things go a long way in spicing up the stuff.My eyeballs almost popped when I found out at a women's meeting in church that some kain ''spirikoko'' sisters even knew what Ann Summers was talkless of patronising them

YPP I remember that thread.Coogar made alot of valid points but as coogar is coogar he was arguing on the most extreme ends.He made some valid points though.Alot of people misunderstood me on that thread thinking I was saying women should be stay at home mums.My argument was for us not to automatically look at someone who is probably not just working at that point in time and say 'liability'.I am fiercely independent and love earning money, bettering myself (my hubby always says the amount of things you want to do I think we need a clone ).
But since I had my kids (my choice and God's grace they did not ask to be born) I find their welfare comes first. If it means earning a little less so I can spend some quality time with them so be it.I know as babymama and CC said that if I decide that both of us should go ALL OUT and say no my career is the most important, we need to make more money etc only the kids will suffer. So as not to derail this thread, the koko is being a parent (mum and dad) means you might have to make some sacrifices whether its earning the big pay and never being there or earning less and spending a bit more time, one way or the other its a sacrifice.And even men in today's world are faced with that dilemma (I know my husband does).

Baby mama: Somethings have to give

There are sacrifices women make in marriage and sometimes they are not easy but it is so much easier to handle when the man understands and appreciates you for all those efforts and selfless sacrifices you made for him and the family.
Shortly after my wedding I left Nigeria to join my new husband who had moved abroad for further studies.
That was the first of many moves.
We moved wherever he got a job or better opportunity,we even moved from one continent to another and from one city to another while he pursued his dreams.
Every move we made was for him to realize his dreams and in one of the moves I got back in school and training and obtained my license to practice.
nevertheless I just tagged along and settled in any job I could find within that vicinity
The result is that my career has not progressed as much as his ,on the other hand,he has done quite well for himself and for us ,for which I am very proud .

That is a sacrifice women sometimes make,I made that sacrifice too.
Sometimes somethings have to give
people may look at me and say that I have done well in my field but I know I would have done much better than this.
Are there moments i wished it wasn't so,yes!
has it been worth it. Yes!
Would I do this over?
In a heartbeat Yes !!
Why wouldn't i
That's what marriage is for
His successes are also my successes,I played some part in helping him get to where is and he appreciates it
That is enough for me
I am at a job now that I am beginning to enjoy and re invent myself
If he decided on another move,will I go along?
Absolutely yes!

chaircover: These two posts really really speak to my situation at the mo.In the last couple of months, friends and family have made alot of really hurtful comments about me(or should I say us) deciding to voluntarily leave my job to spend some more time with my kids.Like you CC I have had snide comments like I am not 'helping' my husband like we told them we are not coping.I have gone back to school in the meantime and do a couple of other things on the side but all I s

I actually needed that . . .from someone who understands

I used to watch male contractors come and earn multiples of what I earned. "My Naija go getter" colleagues were always cajoling me to join them. One even accused me of being lazy and not a very "helpful" wife for sitting on my earning potential and not assisting my husband financially (as if my husband told them that he needed my earnings). . .that was a really hurtful comment.

I work part time and my office is 5 minutes drive from home, but I knew that I couldn't commute everyday to the city and work full time and still meet my kids at the school gate or spend quality time with them and do all the things that I would like to do with them

It is now that I have seen them flourish and grown that I really see the result of that sacrifice and I dont have any regrets although being only human I sometimes wonder where I would had been if I had ramped up my career at the same speed my husband did.

Thank you for this posts. They soo speak to my (or should I say our) situation at the mo.Glad to know that thinking my children are as or if not more important than my career is not alien thinking afterall.

What I like about this thread is that its real.It highlights the fact that there will be differences and those differences do not necessarily mean you have a bad relationship, bad marriage or lousy partner.

On a lighter note, what is it with the tapping 'secret' places taking the place of I am sorry .Mine is exactly the same used to annoy me to no end cos I was taught as a child that please, thank you and sorry were golden words of wisdom and now this man will just tap my backside or pull my cheeks and expect forgiveness. .But to be honest though his apologies or makes ups with the lacck of the word 'sorry' are more genuine than my 'sha sorry *rolling eyes*'.

Hello Funroom......Tis the season to be merry la la la la (off key off tune off everything ).I finally started getting into the mood o.My daughter's excitement is contagious bless her ; ;DI think this age, 4 is the first year they understand gifts, santa etc.I am still stuck on pressies for the hubby , he says he does not want anything but I cant just not give him anything naw

Taryour I can soooooo feel you . You are in the catering busines so dont know how finance payments might work i.e. instamental payments well in advance of the D day.Sorry to generalise but some naija people have shown me eh.People will give you attitude ontop you asking for your own money .Which is why you have to be stricter on full payments.Sorry business is business.It is well jare God will bless the works of our hands.

Ehem speaking of business, abeg Lagos Funrom people pls support your person on Sunday 15/12/2013 at "The Open Yard Sale".I will have someone exhibiting for my business on the day.Great Discounts will be abound on loads of great products.So do try to check it out.Venue is 100 hours off Awolowo Road Ikoyi (opp Bachus) Lagos.Time is 10am to 6pm.

Nice thread. ....

.I have the opposite end of the Inlaw issue (hubby lost both his parents).I find I am the one who does the reminding to call HIS family sef.I speak to my mum every other day and she used to complain that he did not call enough (like once a month after I say Mummy said it's been long she's spoken to you)I find I have to hold forte for him concerning keeping in touch (and that is even to his family) he really is so not top notch in that aspect.I top up the phones so he has no excuse so I guess its me complementing him in that regard as he really means no harm.Even the call sef its 10 mins max while I spend £40 or more a month ob calling Nigeria.I guess as you said it's knowing your partner because this issue used to cause alot of conflict in the past.

Bump

chaircover: Chilii is Vikin . . . . ***Puts on trainers very quickly and runs away faster than Usain Bolt***

I be all mouth but cant fight

BTW Ewuro isnt Jidegirl & I tell you why. Ewuro said something on a thread that I know that Jidegirl will never say as Its very out of character for her. No doubt Ewuro is an old poster but I still cant place my finger on who it is YET!!! I am even tempted to beleive that ewuro is a guy.

Ehen CC are you sure sha
Its the 'drill' and 'interrogate' that swayed me .We all know how our beloved jydo does not like to 'taint the blue bloodlines'

Hello Funroom....How una dey? YPP se u don dey do shopping small small? Try and bulk shop in advance might help a little.

Erm erm *coughs* Oga RR na u start thread and as you are mod I wan do small advert make my family fun roomers wey dey Lagos go support this business woman (moi) for an event.And I don't want to pay ad fees jo .Am I allowed. I promise no spamming just one mention.

Am I allowed?

Hello Funroom am sure everyone don sleep but I dey chillout from studies .

Christmas is well and truly in the air.YPP sorry o.I don't envy you, hubby sef knows his wife na lagos girl na to contract the thing out (with him paying of course ).The Lord is your strength You are a strong woman.After two days my guests know how my microwave, freezer and toaster work .But this is FIL things sha so I get, as Efe said get help o.

Ewuro707: Apologies for the mixup Bellong: wasn't referring to you. I only used your 'much appraised post' as a reference to Nashville's glossed over posts in other to question some ( ileo specifically) posters motive, boggles mind how simple convo turned to unnecessary 'I speak fonę pass you ' debate.

See what I mean?:



Well except the jazz part. I wasn't thinking in that direction atall.

And



Difference btw those two posts, anyone?

Silence is Golden.

P.S: For the record, not only will I thoroughly grill/interrogate the widow but interrogate her late husband's relatives too.(Sorry) same is welcomed too if the tables were turned too.

PEACE OUT!!

Definitely jydogirl. hello sis I missed you oh.

May his healing be permanent in Jesus name.