₦airaland Forum

I know the Man is a sicko but to me the wife is also as guilty. I hate seeing all these silly mad women who allow their husbands abuse and molest their kids (like that crazy philpott woman) .Who better to protect a child from their father than the mother.The thing just irritates me.
Bloody disgusting pervert.

r231: Actually my admin fee is £15 and yes I will do 5kg with no hidden charges

5kg will run you about £32.50 so far the items is not voluminous

No its not, ,best deal so far..Will get back to you on that.

Efemena_xy: Even toilet rolls get levels o!

You can buy the big, more expensive, soft, Ajebutter-ish Andrex toilet rolls at £3.00 for a pack of 9

or the Ajekpako, 18 in a packet for £2.99

Be kind to your bum

R231 will you ship a 5 kilo package and not charge for 20 kilos like all these my cargo people.I know you guys charge a £20 admin fee which I dont mind but why should I pay for 15 extra kilos?

Efemena_xy: Ohhh!! I love Boots!

I'm such a sucker for their baby products / cosmetics. My perfumes, toiletries et al, all from Boots...and I NEVER ever miss a chance to top up my Advantage card points, especially as I'm part of the Parenting Club where for every baby product you buy (except SMA), your advantage card points are multiplied by 10!

I had about £120 worth of Advantage Card points last Christmas and spent them all on pressies and stuff before travelling to Naija for the xmas hols. Started building up those points again...I think I've accumulated about £80 or thereabouts.

Hubby calls me Mrs Boots! Can you imagine?

Me too though to be honest sometimes their baby stuff is pricier than other stores.But I still buy them anyway, you are my elder sha cos I think I just have about 40 something quid at the mo.I also use them at Christmas for pressies.They are my standard go to place for secret santa and nur teacher Christmas pressies.

coogar: they are scams and not only that, i think it's perverse too for stores to know what you eat and use. they basically know your lifestyle. i try as much as possible to avoid anything that leaves digital footprint!

E de eyin oni conspiracy theory(you conspiracy theorists have come). . True,sha cos I realised Tesco started sending me stuff (vouchers ) based on what I buy.

r231: I don't see the point either........been buying petrol from Sainsburys for donkey years now and getting points on the nectar card crap and still they are not giving me free petrol

Use your nectar points for air miles.Thats what I use them for.My tesco points too.Though you are right sha all my points have still not gotten me a return ticket to Florida

coogar: expensive what? it's the cheapest store i have been. they would still cajole you to get their store card which gives you another 10% extra discount or so.

Their store card is useless.I really dont know the pointOk maybe free delivery if you spend over £25.Coming from a loyalty card major.My husband is always shaking his head when I say Oh no you stopped at Tesco why didn't you tell me na now iv lost points .If he says am picking up something at Boots, I say I'll pick it dont worry you wont get the points .He thinks loyalty cards are scams.

chaircover: LooooooL abi oooooo

I think I know what village you stay in if you can push trolley from Asda to Lidl. My SIL stays there.

My SIL is the wierdest person ever, she draws uplists, goes to my ssupermarket.com, then checks the prices of everything she wants to buy.She then ticks what cheapest at what shop and goes there

So on one Saturday,she drives to Tesco, Asda, Sainsburys, Morrisons, Lidl all just looking for bargain.Pennywise pound and time foolish IMO cos what of the cost of petrol or time she could have been lounging.She is always urging me to try it but lai lai I no get time for that one.Ahan on top maybe pata pata 15 pounds savings . besides all shops do price match so whats the point.When I say that, she says ok but hen Iceland has the best prawns, Tesco has best mixed veg, bla bla by then I've tuned off

chaircover: Ha! so I go into LIDL for orange juice, then drive down to ASDA for the rest of my shopping. what I save on juice i waste on petrol. Denzel na wa for you o! you dont have any pity for me at all at all

No but seriously their orange juice is point.I used to be a lidl snub until I drank their juice in a friends house.Really nice.As good as or even better than tropicana.
I am with CC, I cant buy plantain in Tesco lai lai.

Am not a tesco fan but as Coogar said they are everywhere. The one in area is an extra so one way or the other you find yourself going in there.

I love Sainsburys and M&S own product range the most though.

SeanBell: Anyone north of the uk?
Please mums after the plantain gist can you give tips to a new mom on raising a kid here?I dont have a brother so i have no clue as to how to raise a boy child.plus financial investments for him?what account is best for him etc

What can I do to get rid of this infantile eczema?have been to the Gp twice and got epaderm.its not working.bought aqueous cream but it contains Sls so cannot use.I swear that i smelt alcohol when the 2nd gp i saw was talking,he also said they rarely see african babies so he just told me it will go on its own .Im planning on waylaying a dermatologist tomorrow(Dh colleague) cos b4 they refer,wahala.Im so distressed when I look at the babys face(the miserable rain isn't helping either).he now has patches on his cheeks and chin.

Couple more years before he starts school but what and what should I look out for?
And if we eventually move to England,please where is the best place for a young family with the best schools?

Since you are north of the border assuming Scotland, am not so sure you can get a shea butter based ghanian cream I used for my daughter.Its called abido.I used it after using aqueous and epaderm cos they too seemed not to br working. I think seeing the dermatologist is the best bet though cos different skins, different skin reactions.I recommened abido to a friend as well and it did not work, Aveeno was what eventually helped

As per investments, we have a cash ISA we pay into every month for both my kids as well some other long terms bonds.You can talk to an IFA or if you are quite savvy with financial matters shop around yourself.

As for schools, this thread I created last year might help.

https://www.nairaland.com/1123859/choosing-right-school-ccefemena-ur-views

chaircover: Have you considered buying a box from spitalfrields market. it will be much cheaper especially as your kids love dodo so much . . .assuming the market is still in operation .

Yeah me and my sis in law want to start doing that.We both have small house holds so thinking of doing a box of everything I.e. yam, ,peppers, plantain, okra, spinach etc.Split and freeze.Its better for her too cos she lives in a village like you

Efemena_xy: Na wa o!

Plantain hagglers full ground for here.

Lol efe sebi OP said to access services na
Plantain is a service or commodity na

chaircover: But how can ethnic food be cheaper outside London than in London? This is serious o!

How much is spinich? we get ours for 3 for £ and tete is 75p each

Jesu oluwa wa .I cant remember when last spinach was 3 for a pound.Its 2 for a pound. Now cos I cant be bothered, I just use Tesco Leaf Spinach.

adaobi123: 3 for £1.20 ? Lol

I get 4 for a pound.

Yes ada where? My kids eat Dodo like its going out of fashion. Started grilling and making boli for a healthier alternative.

chaircover: £1.20 ke!!!!!

It used to be 5 in the morning/afternoon and sometimes 7 in the evening back in the day!. What happened?

Its been like that for ages.As hubby says sometimes peckham is not as cheap as we think.

chaircover: I no do ooooooooooo!

Let me be buying my 3 for £1.00 plantain in our village jeje . . .let pechamites be enjoying 5 for £1.00 plantains

Your village is cheaper sef.Its 3 for £1.20 in peckham.My husband hates that peckham market with a passion, he is always saying its def not as cheap as we like to think.But me I must reach dia o, where else can you be haggling for meat and have the asian guys call you alaroro

honey86: Locate a RCCG church, you won't be disappointed.

Not my branch . everyone is married .

chaircover: BMMMMSSSSS!

That was the first shop I saw live snails, bottled fanta and fresh leaves for moin moin in London

Anytime I go to peckham I get a parking ticket, so I stopped going and I shop locally.

Lol everyone gets parking tickets in Peckham. I swear their parking attendants abi is it wardens recieve the highest curses in the Uk

Greyfog: Hi peeps, please where if possible do you think I can find Nigerian lentil (igbo name = fiofio, don't know what it's called in yoruba) in London. Cheers

Fio fio I remember it, its that one you chew then spit out right?

There is this african shop in Peckham, BIMS they sell the oddest stuff, the last time I was there I saw Tapioca (only typical lagosians who know megown can know what that is).So try there


Or Kumasi, also in peckham.

shymexx: Afam4eva, not really here for famzing, but you need to stop posting Peckham everywhere. Poshness in London is subjective - and most times is judged by house prices. Southwark (where Peckham is situated), Lewisham and Lambeth boroughs are some of the roughest areas in London (in terms of crime). However, those areas are more expensive than places with nice houses like: Thamesmead, Chafford Hundred, parts of Enfield etc.. Most of these other places with nice houses don't have the type of enligtened people domiciled in former. Like eGuerilla pointed on another thread last week - the South of the Thames River has some of the most educated black people in London. eGuerilla is also from Peckham and he's arguably the most educated and intelligent poster on this forum. The brother is a soldier!

Also, the promixy to Central London and West End makes these places the most preferred places for people who work in the city. I've got an aunt who's a barrister and her tax bracket alone would pay a lot of people's salary. However, she still lives in Peckham. And there are tons of people out there who would rather move out of the UK than move out of Peckham.

Anyway, North London isn't that posh (I honestly can't name any area in North London off the top that's posh, tbh). The only posh "coasts" that are posh in London (based on the concentration of rich and super-rich people) are West and North West London. Even back from my secondary school days, kids from West London have always been different. They talk different and they also dress kind of black-hippy/British meet American way. And don't ever post East London anywhere because that's the poorest and most disadvantaged area in London - with the most obnoxious people.

Another thing about not believing the hype and all the stereotypical things you hear about places is that: a place like Brixton (Lambeth) for example that's demonised as one of the worst places in London (like Peckham) probably has more white middle-class and upper middle-class people, than some of the places with the nicest houses in London. If you go from Brixton to Clapham, you will see what I'm talking about. You need to be out there in Brixton on a friday night to see what I'm talking about Heck, Brixton is just an extension of Chelsea, Fulham, Victoria, Battersea and Wandsworth on the South West coast. As for Peckham (Southwark) - you can't take the influence of the City of London away from it. It has been under the jurisdiction of the City of London since it was created - and there are nice places there as well.

Finally, if you ever move out here, the Southside is the best side for you. You will always find someone from the Southside anywhere you go in the UK - and the bond here is strong. It's like a brotherhood thing
Don't believe the hype!

PS: Afam unban my handle in the politics section!

Shymexx nailed it esp on the house prices part.Thats why I always just shrug at people who move to Thamesmead, erith , dartford and then start feeling posher than those who live in peckham .

Though I dont agree that poshness (as in the individual) is necessarily tied to the price of your house.

I talk am, the naija is better than the uk crew and vice versa crew go soon reach hia

Abegi pls dont railroad (not derail o) this thread.

Abi OP

jidegirl12: WOW !! So your cribs don't have central ACs even if you have to insert coins like your heating systems??

Yo yo yo Dayo reporting from Yankee... Tell them how it's done in North America

Sorry OP ... Just feel like trolling since NL is always bout UK

Haa Jide you dey look for trouble o

Valid question ojere. I ask that question when I want to get my husband's back up, he is Mr British way of life like Coogar (though not as bad ).His answer is does Nigeria have central heating? And my retort is always who is talking about Naija now (he calls me Mrs Naija champion )?Y'all need to advance jare, central heating can be central air conditioning as well

I wonder why brits keep bleating on about it being cold, the place is meant to be Cold jo.I caught the bus to Central London on thursday,I almost fainted

chaircover: It rained here oooo!! okay only for like 15 minutes

Am still expecting it.But trust my husband to be following weather forecast when we are having anice day out in the sun.

Debbie abi is it dennis downer

Ehen madam bebe what kind of services.
CC I sent you a PM (dont understand this PM thing not even sure it went) but il post the question here.

Do you know any courier or cargo person for small items to Lagos? My Cargo guys (and all other ones I know) carries minimum 20 kilos and the package I want to send is 4.5 kg.I looked at UPS and DHL and they are charging 90.60.That wont be worth it as it would erode whatever profit I hope to make as I hope to sending like once a week.

Thanks in advance

Lol @ Pali no dey.

Present.
Ehen but I thought they said there would be heavy rain.Where is it na See how they made us cut short our lovely day out.

Nigerians aside, the world is becoming increasingly shallow and fickle.

There is a reason why the Kardashians (not knocking them) are a world renowned brand

debrief08: Nigerians have all the time to find out :
1. Who is cheating on who
2. Whose marriage has failed or is failing
3. Who has the biggest car
4. Who did what
5. Make Facebook, twitter and BB "friends" of strangers we don't know and may never need


Yet we don't have time to do the most essential
1. Read our constitution
2. Research Government Agencies
3. Get and keep emergency numbers
4. Read up on first aid
5. Go and check their own health (it is well).
6. Read up about current trends, learn.
6. Read up on a topic before broadcasting or commenting
7. Pass informed knowledge.

Debrief you have very valid points.But you are talking about the social media generation which are mostly educated.Sadly you are quite right that they should know better and dont act like they should.

The other point we are trying to make is this information needs to be more populist in nature not necessarily something you have to dig to find.By all means castigate those who have access to information and misuse it.

But what of those who dont? ?The corn seller who lives in face me I facw you? ?The pepper seller a Mile 2, do you really think these people care if Dbanj just bought bentley? But there is abuse going on in these circles too.

We need a Mass reorientation and this should include ALL strata of society.

debosky: No one said things are constant - the way you approach things matter - that's my point.

If y'all railroad your spouses into agreeing with you, so be it. I think there is value in getting agreement before making life changing decisions, or intending to live in two separate countries over an extended period of time.

I won't simply one day wake up in our rented flat in Yaba and tell my wife we are moving to Ikorodu or Port Harcourt without any consultation or planning, not to mention moving to another country. If that makes me unrealistic, then so be it. I don't like surprises or getting things thrown in my face, so that's the perspective I view this issue from.

Agreements can change - but they change with the agreement/understanding of both parties. If he railroads her and she is miserable/frustrated and the marriage breaks up is that to his advantage? it isn't beneficial the other way round either, which is why a joint decision has to be made.

Debo, he had discussed that option with her, she just never wanted to hear the Naija option.He had even discussed it with my husband(he mentioned in passing that he was trying Nigeria too).You know when you bring up a topic and someone says Nigeria, dont even go there . She had that attitude with me, remember how I said she was upset I kept suggesting moving to Naija.She even knew he was trying but must have just thought dem no born you well to take it further.

chaircover: To be honest I dont know of many of these Govt agencies and I only come across them when they are mentioned on threads. Up until yesterday I'd never heard of Naptip.

Debrief I get your frustrations, but the thing is not many people know about these agencies and not many people will even know what to look for in google.

Ive just typed in a search for "who to report child abuse in Nigeria" and google came back with a lot of irrelevant results, NAPTIP is not on the first page or second page and I didnt go any further than that.

The govt agencies themselves should spend more time and money in "advertising" themselves and making themselves known. The Govt spends billions on irrelevant things. Taking a 5 minute slot each evening during the NTA news will help enlighten people. Its only Airtel, GTB et all that take huge billboard adverts; why??
In Lagos the other day I saw huge signboards of Tinubus late mum; these signboards could be used to "advertise" important Govt messages which will be of more benefit to the people.

people take out full page adverts to wish someone happy birthday, why cant the govt do same? If the people dont go to the agencies, then the agencies should go to the people.

You mean well, but how about opening a thread with a title that clearly portrays the content. So that it gets indexed on nairaland and thus google.

CC is right.Here you know who to call if a child is being abused, the NSPCC spends loads on adverts . Their adverts air almost every day on both terrestrial and cable channels.

That case is sad but you know what debrief some people dont even see some things as abuse (sickening I know).Also govt agencies on Nigeria are generally not too popular with the masses.You and I are well read and confident enough to ask for accountability from these people but do you really think that woman selling roasted corn at Badia will report something to Naptip?

We need education for alot of people but even more so for the lower classes.Run ads that everyone can relate to to be able to spot abuse.Put readily available nos that people can call anonymously.If I call 999 I can get info on how to report abuse.All that long info might put people off.


That said, we need to stand up more to people we know that do such amongst us.If your friend starts slapping and punching her 14 yr old househelp for burning soup,tell her off, dont keep quiet. I had to shout at a woman in Bariga who was punching her own child for using 5 naira to buy biscuit (I was making my hair with her).I had been braiding for like 5 hours and the poor girl and had no snack in between.This was a 5 yr old child.Yeah she should have asked but punching? .Oloun poverty has robbed alot of people of common sense and most times its transferred aggression.

iamsaved: @op, this Is my typical daily routine. .
I am a "married" women who is currently pregnant and have a toddler.
I work 8am to 6pm Monday to Saturday in a private organisation while hubby works with government.

5am: wakes up, says morning prayer, brushes my teeth and head straight to the kitchen to prepare breakfast and lunch for my toddler baby.
6:30am, wakes baby up. brushes his teeth, feed him cereal, put him on the potty, stays with him to pet him to poopoo inside the potty (doesn't like using it). After cleaning him up, I bath him and get him set for his daycare.

7:20: I eat breakfast, tidy up the house, clean up an get ready for work.

I take baby to day care and proceed to work.

By the time I get to work, I am already 1hr late. This happens every blessed day.

By 5pm, pick baby from daycare and take him to my work place till I close by 6pm, then we go home.

Most times I go to the market from work to buy few stuffs.

As soon as I get home, I prepare and give baby food. Then sweat it out in the kitchen preparing dinner. depending on what I am cooking, I finish cooking most times between 8.30 - 9pm. serve hubby his food, eat mine, wash up all the plates. while cooking, every 3minutes interval, I take baby to the toilet or potty to weewee (he is still learning how to weeeee without pampers).

10pm: I bathe and go to bed. The struggle continues in the morning. same routine.

THIS IS MY HUSBANDS ROUTINE.
7:30am: he wakes up, go straight to clean up himself. Brush his teeth, baths and get set for work.

Eats breakfast and leaves for work.

7pm: he is at home, pings and chat and watch movies till dinner is ready. After eating, he bathes, continue watching movie, chatting and pings till 11pm.

Now I have begged, begged and begged he should assist me in the m
morning to bath our baby and dress him up for school but he refused. Said its a woman's duty to do everything in the home including solely caring for the children.

Infact last two weeks, I discusses this same issue with
him, explained to him how my boss has been complaining of my lateness. He shoul at least be considerate but he said i should go and ask other married women how to cope.

I dont have to go in too deep to expiain how thi his particular behaviour has affected me. I see myself now as a single mother! and oh I contribute financially to the home.

on sunday is busiest, church h, market, wash clothes, prepare soups and stew. no rest.

Cant afford to get a maid now. No much money!
Op if this is your idea of marriage, you need to think again. brb

Gosh........ (and am saying gosh cos I know I myself can like to give myself stress but phew I am tired for you reading all that).

As most posters have said, you probabaly started it all trying to form superwoman.Alot of women (I think my mum sorta did this too, I saw that and said lai lai I aint doing that) in marriage just take it upon be themselves to do everything and never ask for help.Its very easy to fall into but you have to make a conscious effort to resist it.

Yeah your husband is certainly not nice for seeing a part of him struggling and refusing to help (some men are simply horrible at chores).A nicer person will say ok I hate doing chores wi lets pay someone to help you esp in Nigeria where such help (not children o) is readily available and affordable.

As CC advised, sometimes you have to ko (resist) some things. I know how it is (I hate mess and it takes an extra effort for me to turn a blind eye when my husband says he will wash the plates and I can still see them there 4 hrs after) but if I can turn a blind eye, believe me you can.You are pregnant for God's sake, , what other time does a woman deserve to be pampered.As long as its not filth as in germs sometimes leave the house unattended to.Believe me, he will ask haan haan why is this housr so untidy.And you will say I am tired(haan I trust myself if it's not my pelvis, its I can feel my tummy stretching ) and sorry you cant do anything.Dont cook and make sure you would have eaten to your satisfaction outside.Tell him you need help if not God forbid for something to happen to you.

No one is indispensable and as I said In one thread I created, everyone needs some ME time.I daresay the best time to even have that is when you are pregnant.I can so feel you on being pregnant and having a toddler.My husband would just look at me sometimes (TBH I too know that I can like to look for work where is none) and say you this girl pls dont let people blame me o, who sent you to cook all this now or why the heck are you clearing out cupboards now? Most weekends he would just take my daughter out cos he knew thats the only way I would get some rest.Its really tiring so I can soo feel you.

If he wont look out for you, abeg look out for yourself.

Where do they manufacture this people?

Rest in peace lil angel in heavwn

chaircover: Debo you are talking as if you dont know women . . .especially the strong willed ones

The guy just wouldn't have woken up one day and decided to go for an interview without telling his wife, but she would have made it clear that she doesnt want to discuss it and since she is the one keeping the home financially and most probably paid for his ticket to naija in the first instance the guy has no choice but to keep quiet

Most men like an easy life and would steer away from conflict and this is what this man has done.

Re the recession, businesses are still closing down everyday. This morning Dagenham Motors has sacked 1200 people and is closing its plant. In our high street in the past 3 months superdrug and tie rack have closed down. Its getting harder and harder each day.

The truth is that if both of them kick in their heels, neither of them will be happy so they have to pick a option with the least damaging to them as a family. Her refusing him to go will def backfire and she will soon find that he is not the same man that she married when he starts lashing out at her and blaming her for his situation.

she is on a long thing anyway because by the time this mans family hear that its the wife that wants to turn their son and brother into gbewudani her fights will be multiplied. God forbid, I cant imagine my son waiting for razor blade and sporting waves money from his wife and a job opens up for him and the wife is saying dont go. I will bite that wife

As for agreements . . .agreements are changed everyday. How many couples agree a certain number of children but accidents happen. My oga and I said we will retire in Nigeria, but the other day I said I dont mind the idea of retiring on the Wight. Everyone changes & situations change all the time. Life is not constant and we deal with the balls that life throws at us.

God bless you CC its like you know the real deal.Some people are soooo rigid and uptight about certain stuff that fear go even catch you to broach some subjects. .Of course he needs her to be on board with the decision and not just up and go Nigeria.

There is unrealistic perception on NL that pre-marriage, you sit down , plan and plan, hash out every eventuality and any deviation from that after marriage is blue murder.That is so unrealistic cos marriage like any other relationship in life is dynamic.Planning and hashing out issues pre marriage is wonderful, but sometimes life just happens.

Before I had kids, I would snigger at women who left their jobs because of their family.My husband knew he was marrying a fiercely indepedent person who likes having her own money.But I left my full time job cos I knew it would impact my family life adversely. There was no way I would be doing a 4 hr commute daily and not be madam snappy.I deliberated the idea of leaving relative (relative cos is any job really ever secure) job security to be thrown into an uncertain job market and along the line decided to retrain and get some new skills.Till now, my husband knows it an odd phase for me but cheers me on by telling me to look forward on where we are going.When we were talking about the decision I could have stubbornly insisted and said whoa steady on guy who you wan make housewife lai lai I am.moving to Ipswich.I told you I must aways work to make my own money.But I have learnt to adapt and even now put in more effort to my business.

One cant just say we agreed, no going back.We look at our circumstances at this present time, talk through and reach some sort of compromise.

Still believe though that they have to talk properly, how is that going to happen when one party says there is no disccussion to be had, we had an agreement 5 years ago (actually been married 5 years ) so no going back.

coogar: because infidelity in dubai = prison!

Ok holland nko? :PAbegi a guy that will cheat willl cheat.Its even easier for a jobless guy who happens to find a sympathetic ear while his wife is out trying to save the world.

Agreed, Lagos girls no easy but you gotta learn to trust your man.Why is he not paranoid about her needing a bed warmer on those cold winter nights cos we seem to be forgetting infidelity can work both ways.

As for infidelity in Dubai, Coogar forget that thing o.Dubai is a choice destination for away matches if you know what I mean.