₦airaland Forum

harakiri: It's not about dating/marrying hungry or less privileged women. It's about the unrealistic insatiable expectations of women whether she is doing well or not. Even in a union where the woman earns more than the man, she still expects him to be the one to foot most of the bills (and most men are more than happy to comply in a bid to keep their self respect).

Like I said, not all women have unrealistic insatiable expectations. A man has his responsibilities as a man. My husband likes me contributing, but he draws the line at some things. I like it when he gives money, but I can never question him for giving his people money. I wont even ask him for money to give my family cos I believe everyone shd hustle their own.I know a lot of women like to take take take, the tin dey fear me sef. But as a man you shd know where to say NO, I wont give you that. Guys sef encourage it, giving girlfriend alowance and paying for her hair, nails, bb, everything.

harakiri: Fortunately i am not a married man but i do agree with the poster. Women naturally believe anything a man does for them is their right. Even if you give her access to all your bank accounts, hand over all documents of your assets to her and make her custodian,take care of her family members...it is never enough. You buy her an emerald and she wants a diamond instead. You buy her a C-Class mercedes and she is offended why you didn't buy an ML. You build a house for her father and repair the leaking roof of your own father's house and she will complain that you aren't doing enough for her own people.

It's not as if they don't know the effort you are putting in but they always have unrealistic expectations. They all have this fantasy of their "ideal husband" who can provide everything they want and when you aren't meeting up to that expectation, there will be trouble. They only start appreciating you when they see you are getting tired of them and thinking of moving on. They only appreciate your effort when you aren't there anymore. They appreciate your effort when they see the grass isn't greener at the other side.

Any man who thinks he can please any woman on earth is deluding himself. Their needs and wants are more vast than the pacific ocean. Just do what you feel is right and necessary and leave it at that. Do not expect much appreciation...even if they make compliments, they are more or less telling you they want more of what you are doing. If you take her to Dubai on vacation this year and think you have done a lot, be rest assured she is expecting the next trip to be in Paris and she wants to climb the Eiffel tower to take pictures to put on facebook.

Nuff said!

Like I said earlier, na una sabi the kain hungry women you hang with. I do not expect my husband to do EVERYTHING for me. God gave me hands to hustle for myself. I am grateful when he pays school fees, I say thank you when he gives money for housekeeping. I say thank you and I appreciate you when I go on vacation and because I know what my husband makes, I know somethings are unattainable for now. I will not ask for an X5 when I see he drives a CRV. I won't ask for a trip to the seychelles when I know we have to pay rent. If you marry a stupid woman na you know. Not all women are ungrateful!

Can any of you techie guys help me hack. Yahoo email account?

Its not going to affect him in anyway so I don't think you shd bother with that. Besides its going to give the ladies a thrill!

Weak people cheat.

shinystar: From personal experience and after aggregating the views of many married men, I realised our women are never grateful no matter what you do for them.

They always feel shortchanged and crave for something better. For example, I have established a business for my wife, taken her abroad for vacation and fended for her family as little as I can. Yet, she is always complaining I have not done enough. She feels my immediate family gets more from me. In all honesty, I am certain I have been more generous to her family than mine.

Can fellow married men share their experiences and discuss why our women can't seem to have enough. They never say thank you and expect you to do more whether or not you are capable.

Ol boy just say you have an ungrateful wife. I don't do that. I always say thank you to my husband and tell him I appreciate him.

debrief08: Hahahhaha, Horny4u, you can't have her oh, she is in very hot demand from her daughter -in- laws. Thank God he built me a walk in closet so I don't have to share one with him. My Mother In law gisted me of one time when the boys were feeling like men and tried to rebel, then she had become a deputy director in her office so she got a maid to help her out
She came home one evening to find her sons plates stacked and unwashed in d kitchen sink, she asked them why and the bold one told her that washing plates is a womans job afterall their Father have gotten her a maid. She asked all of them if they agree with their brother feeling bold they said yes, she didn't talk oh. She stayed with them, gisted, watched news and had night prayers before going to bed. At midnight she went round their rooms and woke them all up, ordered them to carry their mattrasses and sleep outside, since they were now men she said men don't live under daddy and mommys roof, men have their own houses. They begged and begged she no gree oh, their father had no choice than to support her, dats how those boys slept with Mosquitoes dat day, till today, grown men with kids if they go to their moms house they all eat, pack their plates to the kitchen and wash their plates. Lol

Hahahahahahaha! I love your mother in law die. Mine had 3 boys and treated them like eggs. The house was always full of maids and those "boys" never did anything. When I married my husband he used to say things like, I can't do that that's the maids job. I didn't get a maid o! I just blanked him. Now he washes dishes, bathes baby, sweeps, only when I ignore everything. But that "honey have you seen" one tire me. So bad that one day I travelled, made soups and stew down. The man called me to ask where the bowl to make eba was I tire. This morning, whereks my socks, my boxers that I wore yesterday? I'm like what d heck Did I UnCloth you? It wasn't until I started throwing any clothes I see straight into d washer that he started to reduce the clutter!

Did you not realise the things you were doing were bad when you did them?

Ol boy na mad woman she be. You better cut her off now.

Buy your ticket to Dubai for the month of JULY ONLY for N90,000 only. Kids fly free!

Harbioollah: Anoda Heartbroken Girl!!!
Wah a Pity..i wonder wu broke ur hrt

im not heartbroken @ all. its just, i was having a conversation with this guy and its just all about the do. he's getting into into yahoo to get girls. he's buying a car he cannot afford to get girls. he's doing things just for girls and im like haba! all this for woman?

with that thing that hangs between their legs. I mean how else can you explain it? Men have thrown away EVERYTHING just for sex! That thing leads them, lose family, careers, even their lives in some cases and it is just pathetic. Look at Bill Clinton, he almost lost the Presidency, look @ Sani Abacha, he lost his life, all for sex. I'm sure we all know of "men" who have lost it all. So tell me, is it not a curse?

iykak47: You are wrong, freedom of speech goes with civility, rights are not absolute.
Have you asked why John Terry was charged, is not because of the same 'we are in a democracy i have freedom of speech'.

The guy is entitled to freedom of speech and his own thinking. Personally I feel GEJ needs to send his wife to MAULAG to learn some finesse.

moderattor: See a young man who isn't even sure of his first Degree
Challenging a double Phd holder. GEJ was a lecturer when this dude was in kindergarten.

GEJ has been the deputy governor, the governor and now the president, not this guy's mate.

People should know how to protest.

You see in democracy, there is freedom of speech. He can say what he wants and insult every political office holder,na I'm right. After all if GEJ had remained a lecturer he won't be insulted like this.

Woo, you better run from that guy! He has seen his future breadwinner in you!

ayobams: I have not cheated on her before at least since we have been married which is over a year now and the bar is not a brothel. Of course you and i know that there are always girls at the bar all over the world be it swanky or claasy. Secondly,I am sure she didnt know about the joint. The joint is just on the street and sincerely we just moved into the neighborhood. The catch was just that as i was locking my car and getting out so was she driving by. I have asked a few people about what transpired and to be honest with you, their responses were just like you mentioned( i Mean reassuring her that I love her to death...which I have always tried to do. Its not easy doing that all the time when your wife can be petty or blow trivia issues out of proportion). I have had my past life and weve talked about so many issues regarding being faithful and all that. Her linking me with a random woman in a car was just totally outlandish and unfair. This is actually my first topic and i appreciate your comments. However its really uncalled for being uneccesarily suspicious and using the " but you know I am a woman and i need assurance" cover to want to police a guy. Dont guys need assurances too that come what may i think you cant cheat on me? If you have the mind set that all men her cheats from day one...how can you help that kind of person change their opinions because they can reel out several instances where or how men have cheated or acted wrongly even as close to their fathers or brothers. The truth is that cheating is not a gender thing. It is a personal thing. Thanks anyways but I will appreciate more comments.

You see from what I have been made to understand, the same way men need respect, women need attention. She knows you are a catch and that other girls want you so can u blame her? Sit her down, tell her you love her but her policing will kill you. Tell her you love her EVERYDAY! Tell her you need reassurance of her love too that you too need it.Ol boy I gotta tell you that marriage is like that o! Either you make things smooth or you ignore and things get worse. One person should be the mature adult and in this case it has to be you. Please no matter how much she suspects don't cheat because some DAFT men ( yeah I said it, daft men) use it as an excuse to cheat. So my good man, take it easy ehn, she's just a woman, she needs some softness and petting, like it was when you were dating, she loves you, love and reassure her!

natasha: sorry girl, from what you've said, he's intentions were to string you along and possibly have one last fling before exchanging the vows but he now has "feelings". I use the words feelings lightly because if you do decide to fight for him, chances are you might win however bear in mind that when he puts a ring on you, there just might be another girl who he'll start casually with again and perhaps develop "feelings" for her.....then what happens to you? would you rather know now that you've only lost 3 months to a nonentity that years?? the choice is yours to make.

I totally agree with you. OP shine your eyes!

First of all have you ever cheated on your wife or given her any to not trust you? Do you have friends who see it as no big deal to cheat on their wives? Did you stop at a joint known for fornication? If your answer to any these is yes, then that is why she acted the way she did. By the way ,I dont think she acted right. What you can do is, shelve your pride, give her a big hug and tell her there is no one else in the world for you. Tell her everyday and her insecurities will vanish.

OkparaIgbo: This is a Titillating News..! WOW I'm proud of GEJ. Once again he has shown that with calm head and discipline .and ignoring detractors you can do exploit. Now Nigerians raise your head from the sand once again because a certain amount of pride has once more been restored to the cess pit. More to come GEJ Keep moving and I'm sure you know what next.
Those spewing gibberish that the project started 100 million years ago. Who cares it must have taken the persuasions and hard work of this administration to bring it to fusion so go and drink acid or hug a transformer if you are still hating.

I don't know why are hailing badluck in this matter. He didn't commission the project, or build it himself. All he is doing is celebrating someone else's hard work so why r u hailing him like he built the ship with his bare hands?

livapul86: In an earlier post, I said that I won't move without tying down a job first. But if the job my wife got is a political appointment such as Minister for OYEL Resources, then I would be the one begging her 'Baby, pack your bags lets start moving'.

Hahahahaha ol boy no take laff kill me die!

davidylan: i'm just wondering, what part of this issue makes you so angry? Are you sure you dont resent your husband already?

For the upteenth time this story is not about me or my family, it is a question based on a TV SHOW! I don't resent my husband at all. He provides all we need as a family and we have each others back.
But, if the time ever comes that I need to grow, I expect that he has my back on that too like I will always have his back and encourage him to be all that he can be in life. If he has a moveable job, I will need him to move so we can be a family together. If he holds me back, I am sure that I will resent him for not wanting me to grow to be all that I can be. Read me properly, IF he has a moveable job. IF! I don't want a jobless husband husband, no one does. Is my family important? Extremely! Contrary to what emmatok said, its not moving from place to place but to be together.
Ok what if something happens to him and I have to be the sole provider, how will that work if I had to turn down a great opportunity to soothe his fragile ego? Shey love will feed my children?

emiaby: I hope u hubby is nt reading this as well. U just clearly stated his opinion does nt matter, no need to discuss with him cos here, you r saying 'if he doesn't' wc means ur mind is made up and u are ready to av d world in place of him. With or without him, smh, our maker clearly define your place in any union.

He's meant to love and provide for u while ur outmost duty is to be submissive.

Enough with the submissive already please!!! We are human beings not goats. If you cannot be reasonable why shd I have to suffer? Is my happiness not important to you too? If you have a movable job, why not move to make me happy? Or you want me to resent you for all eternity?

steph7: Thank God things are better between you and your husband, just ignore the girl, karma will come when she least expects it.

Thats what's keeping me going o! I told her, her own will come and she said she knows. I never slept with another woman's husband so her own karma will catch her, who knows it might already have.

onoja12: funny question if it me i would tell that wife to sit her ass down or shes on her own.the question is money and family which comes first,or better still i take a second wife that way we are all happy

You honestly think you can be happy with a second wife ?

steph7: @ daresh come and give us gist, what happen to that yeye girl ?

Haha! I can't believe this thread was resurrected. Well after much begging from him, SHE called me to beg me for forgiveness. Apparently my mother in law had sent word that she is coming to meet her husband to scatter her house. She apologized and wouldn't hang up until I said I forgave her. Right now she is even pregnant and I don't trust her story that her husband is responsible but we'll soon see. Apparently she has seen that marriage is not all fun and games and she says how sorry she is about everything but who is fooling who?
I've forgiven him and given him one last chance. He has been behaving, praying everyday and generally trying to show he has changed. He knows he's on probation but by God's grace, this stage will pass and all this won't be remembered.

midpoint: if my wife gets a great job somewhere and i can easily transfer or get another one we will move with her but if i cant easily get another one, i will think thrice!

thats more like it! Men willing to support their wives to be all that she can be and not just living in his shadow!

Gaggi: This is a potential divorcee in d making. U would relocate even if ur husband doesn't approve. U shld have remained single. Marriage is for those who knw what it entails.

You take heed to ur own post. Do you know what marriage entails?

davidylan: Most likely a very unhappy home at the moment. I guess some women let the illusion of success get to their heads until they get to the point of marriage be damned.

I'm sure her husband is just worried about getting an equivalent or better job should he have to relocate because of his wife. The same women crying foul would be the first to relegate the man to the background should they end up the breadwinners.

Ok now you really don't understand. This is a hypothetical situation based on a tv show! First of all I have no plans to relocate anywhere. Secondly my husband doesn't have a "job" he runs a company and I DO NOT expect him to relocate anywhere at least not now. If thing change and the situation requires I move and dt will be the best move for the family then I expect him to put his ego aside like moremi suggested and do what is best for us all. Marriage is a partnership not a dominion of one over the other Thirdly my home is far from unhappy. In marriage I have come to realise dt his upbringing is totally diff from mine, and so he doesn't really see things from my point of view but small small sha. Pls as I said it is hypothetical o! It is not happening in my home pls!

davidylan: I think your husband just laid down the law for you. Pele

There is no laying down the law. We all have choices to make in life and if I decide that is the choice for me I expect him to understand. If he doesn't want to come then I will go without him. Case closed!

luckgames: Can we hear your husband side of the whole story?
Good luck with your second hand single life

Na you get your mouth. Good luck to you in your own life.

davidylan: the OP has not provided enough information for you to make this baseless conclusion to be honest.
1. Is the husband established in a business that is easily transferable to another location? How far is the new location to where they live now?
2. How old are the kids? Are you willing to move them out of school all of a sudden to a new location and start searching for a comparable school for them?
3. Any job opportunities for hubby in the new location?
4. Is the move necessary financially or career-wise or is this just another lateral move that is no better than what she presently has?
5. Cost of living? Lower or higher in new location? How does this affect the family budget?

So many issues the husband has to deal with... and you've already labeled him a selfish brute? No wonder the likes of Johndoe and Richvkunt are so harsh in their assessment of much of what passes for "advice" in this section.

Let me explain this properly. I was watching a show last night and the lady had a dream job @ colombia university in Boston. Her husband is a highly respected surgeon dt had hospitals all over the country wanting him. My husband then said " is she planning to leave her husband?" And I said "y? He can just go with her I'm sure getting a job won't be a big deal for him." My husband said, " he can't just follow his wife" and I said "Y not? I'm sure she would do the same for him". He said "you don't seem to realise that he married her and not the other way round so it's on her to follow hin not him to follow her".
I spent the next 30mins explaining how flawed his thinking is and how such attitudes stop women from getting married. No one wants to be tied down because of marriage. He didn't answer again but I hope he heard cos if we get into such a situation and the offer is fantastic, only God knows what will happen.