₦airaland Forum

Just spoke to on IT guy in the bank and he said the link was down cos they were activating some security feature. Just logged onto my account and all is well and good with the fund transfer section of my savings account.

Why have children when you cannot care for them? Na wah o!

[quote author=$ugardaddy]OP, let me share a personal experience.
I was earning 3ce my wife's salary before I got married and was very open about it, she opened up on hers as well and everything was fine. About 7 years later, she got a better offer that pushed her salary to almost same as mine. Then, her salary became a top secret and no discussions around it was welcome. She introduced the concept of "my money" rather than "our money" and on several occasions, blatanly challenged my authority at home even in the presence of outsiders sometimes. Thrice, I confronted her and informed her how her sudden lack of openness and respect was impacting on the marriagea and she paid deaf ears. A few months later, I got a much awaited breakthrough that made rubbish of her new salary. And yes, it was time for pay back. I informed her that the much awaited news has finally come and then, I changed the rules of the game -no more contributions to the home from her under any guise or form no matter how little, the new law became "keep your salary and do whatever you want with it but do not spend on anything for the family". If there's anything the family requires, I provide everything 100% and her opinion no longer counts in any decision-making process in the home. I solely take all decisions now without letting her know what my plans are. It's been over a year now and I have effectively regained my respect and control of the home back even though I notice she's beem very, very uneasy with the development. Unfortunately, I hardly forgive especially when I feel I have been deliberately hurt. My final resolve is to crash the marriage anytime now for her challenging my authority just because of a mere pay rise.

The clock is ticking ..........slowly but surely![/quote/]

You know ur marriage is sad right? Are you happy with the way things are? You shd forgive her and try to make things right. Forgiveness is a sign of strenght not weakness. Make your self happy dude!

I kicked my son out at 3 yrs, i kicked his sister to join him @ 11 months. I need to get my freak on abeg.

I think we really make too much out of everything in marriage. So she earns more than you, so what's d big deal? Did she ask you what you earn and you had to lie to her? If she didn't ask you I don't see why you shd have to say anything. If it ever comes up then you tell her the truth. As long as you fulfil your obligations as a man I don't see why any of this shd be a problem. But the truth is, you know your wife. I know the man I married has issues with me earning more than him. Like this month I know for sure I have made more than he earns in a month but I sure as hell am not going to say anything to hurt his ego.

OP I'm sure its her first child. I went a little haywire(but not as bad) my first time. Just limit the amount of money she has access to. The kid wont wear them all she'll end up selling some.

First phone, I cant even remember sef
2nd phone was an Amasonic fone
3rd phone samsung blue light
4th fone, one sony ericcson fone wey dem tiff
5th , 6th , 7th , 8th 9th fone all sony ericsson
10th 11th phone blackberry
12th one LG phone wey don lost for my house
13th fone another blackberry
wait, did i forget that visa phone and the etisalat phone I had? Dont even know what model or make they were.
There are some lost in btw but the total I can remember is 15. My husband is worse, he spoils and loses phones like no man's business, i don tire for the man.

This too shall pass

Why do you want someone to bend to your will? Why cant you learn to love grow and bend for each other? Marriage is not all take take, you need to give a little or less it will cause friction and resentment.

tete7000: I hope such as child you think you love so much and you are willing to spare pain will not be the pain to you when you grow old. Be wise and drop these attitude of yours.

I did not say that I am sparing my child pain, I say no teacher should flog my child. Most teachers especially in Nigeria take out all their anger and frustrations out on children. I spank my son. Please note the difference btw spanking and floggin. I did not give birth to an animal to be flogged like cattle. He is my child and I will discipline as I see fit. There is a piece of advice I got from an older wiser person, do not discipline a child in anger. Wait till you are calm and discipline in line with the offence committed. No teacher should flog my son. FINISH!!!

Any teacher that flogs my child will be flogged by me. Why will you flog my son? Did you follow me to labour for him. A stern talking to and taking awat priviledges will work better than flogging.

Hmmnn! Wonders shall never end! You want to give teething medicine to a 3 month old? Does she or he have teeth? What exactly is the medicine for? Pls ehn, don't dull the baby, when he/she starts teething, use bonjela and rub into the gums with a clean finger. Give the baby a teething ring. All these Nigerian moms that don't want to learn good things just tales from daft ols women. I NEVER used an daft teething medicine on my kids and they have beautiful teeth. You no hear of teething medicine wey kill over 60 babies? Be warned!

My sister ehn if you see what I saw with my son you will sorry for me. The boy will just not eat and it was such a battle. I used this strategy of pretending like I'm nursing and when he opens his mouth, put the food in. Sometimes he will eat one spoon sometimes 5. Slowly he started eating. Your boy is still young just give him time he will improve.

dinachi: by the special grace of grace of God I have been married for a while now and one of the things I dont do is that it is difficult to understand the situation without hearing the mans own point of view. In my opinion i think the woman is the main problem. From what I gather, I think he is simply tired of the man. Imagine discussing her husband with her friends all the time. According to her, all her friends are fed up too. She is very sure he is not cheating because, Iam sure she has discreetly investigated him and found nothing incriminating. She is listening to bad advice from her friends, period! can she give examples of the mans immaturity and lack of love display? This is a woman who is simply seeking moral support to break her home. my advice? go and sin no more!

You are such a bullshitter!

agiboma: @ op my heart really goes out to you cause i been in your shoes. I know there are some things you left out in your original post, but ill comment on what you have shared. Look, at the end of the day no body can tell you to go or stay. Its a decision you got to make. If you decide to stay look for ways you can survive in the marriage. Like doing your hair, reading books, playing internet poker etc. Try to find a hobby or a job if you dont have one. Also are you still interested in sharing intamacy with your husband?
Even after five years it still possible to get it back if you are wanting to go their with him again. You mentioned getting a boyfriend well when i was in your shoes i wanted to do the same thing, but i realised that it would solve nothing and i had to work on the heart of the problem to repair my marriage. I did this by communicating more with my husband and fighting less. I also started my own business and wow that was a major turning point for us, my husband began to see everything differently and he has changed. Your hubby can also change if its what you want, you just got to work on it, but first you need to work on you. Its not doing your kids any good seeing mommy sad all the time.When i was going through my difficult time i was also sad, but i recovered and found ways of making myself happy, i became my true source of joy and was not looking towards my husband for anything emotional, thats how i regained my sanity and was able to put my house back in order. Look OP you can do it too! Today my home is differnt my hubby is a wonderful father to our son that loves him dearly. Just a few days ago he told me ?you gave me a beautiful son, i did not see it before, but i see it now". I smiled and said thank you. But in my mond im thinking our son is 2 years old and you are just seeing it now. What im trying to say is that it takes some men time to realise and appreciate what they got in their home. No circumstance in marriage cannot be worked out with communication IMO.
Are you in Nigeria? Divorce with 4 kids in Nigeria is not easy!!!!! Especially if you are divorcing looking for love. If you divorcing to have your fun and not look for something serious then thats more realistic in Nigeria. Their are many men that would have you as a girlfriend, but i dont think you will find one to marry you with 4 children in this Nigeria, sorry to say. So before you leave look at the realities of your circumstances and environment.
OP what ever you decide to do, good luck

Oh agiboma I am so happy things are working out well for you! Congratulations! My husband told me something similar the other day after his Bleep up. Thank God things are looking up and truly I'm very happy for you!

DailyNews: This is also one of the reasons most female celebrities jump from one marriage with one male celebrity to another because when they are with one of the male celebrities, they are busy having....what did you guys called it again pls ok...rush...or no crush on another male celebrity, and before u know it, they have married and divorced 10 men in their lifetime, what a smelly life...gosh...& believe me most of the ordinary girls that also have crush on male celebrities would have been jumping from one marriage to another if they were celebrity themself which would increase their chances of finding one to mess around with...but since most are ordinary back benchers daydreaming about some guys somewhere, they end up daydreaming & wishing in pains...so my advice to any person whose partner is having such illusion is to boot them so that they can go have a real crush with their admired celebrity. Its absurd to agree to date or marry someone & still be daydreaming of another...its sickening...and people should wake up & stop being misled or blinded by media life. Come to talk of it, their partners might even be cutier, more talented than those they are daydreaming to have, just that theirs wasn't on media or screen...really SMH @the kind of life some people live!

It is just a crush! A harmless crush! My husband has crushed on so many celebs, I've crushed on Simon Baker (my GOD), that doesn't mean we don't love each other, its just a crush! So get over your stewpid self and stop spewing hate from ur dirty mouth!

jp philips: you are finished!!!

she made the rules before marriage and after marriage, you come to Nairaland that she is the master. be careful the conditions you accept from women.
Marriage is your show as such you should make the rules not the other way round

You see how foolish you are? The lady has a right to her body and must dictate her terms. No sex before marriagen finish. Do you have any idea of what marriage is you child? She is the master of her body till marriage and not before. When they go before God then he can claim her. I shake my head @ the fools on nairaland thinking they own anyone. Go and buy slave from the market, ode!

Eminentsam: @ andiyanders 4 ur mind ur wife be saint n made in heaven abi ? Bone head !

See jealousy! Yes his wife is a saint don't try to ruin someone else's saint with your dirty prick

queensmith: your womenfolk? where the hell do you people crawl out from?

There has to be an effort for someone to maintain such a backwards ideals, it can't be easy?

Your womenfolk indeed.

I nearly died of laughter reading the bolded. The guy prolly has some housemaid he calls a wife that's why he is mouthing off!

Happy Fathers day to my Daddy, the best father a Daddy's girl can ask for. And Happy Fathers day to my baby Daddy! We love you!

Billyonaire: Etteh is mad, how much does a brand new house cost ? She opened her smelling mouth to say she wanted to renovate with "just 40m naira'.

You clearly do not know how much houses go for in abuja.

[quote author=Mynd_44]How will you feel if some stranger walks into your house one day and start feeding you stories of how he is your daughter's fiance? Would you not call the police first?[/quote]Ok not her parents, but I'm guessing her siblings and friends?Is it possible to date and engage without knowing sibling or friends?

smh

I love you boo! Despite all the drama and pain of the last few years, I still love and and my heart still skips a beat when I see you(even when I'm mad at you)! I love you for all you've done and all you do and right now I miss you like hell . Come home babes so I can hug you tight !

Hmmmnnn! A friend of mine was in a similar situation with his gf of about 5 years. He proposed and the girl kept hedging. Didn't tell anyone didn't wear the ring nothing. 2 weeks later he "heard" she was getting married. Its just sad how selfish and cunning ppl can be. That said, that may not be her case. You know her house? Her siblings!? Go and talk to someone even her friends and get the true story.

Logic Mind: What's she worried about then?
I lie to everybody all the time. It's part of life.

That's sad!

Mr Man go and do what you have to do. Take her to court as well and make it lawful. You dont need too much money for that. When you have money, you can do something elaborate.

Some men are just plain stewpid. The idiot wanting his wife to call him Baba what ever will be following some 19 yr old girl that will be calling him by name. BASTARD OSHI! Forgive my ranting, I just hate it when ppl act so darned daft.