₦airaland Forum

It's TREASON if you ask me. They have undermined the security and sovereignty of our nation. But it's good it's out in the open now, I always wondered how the terrorists got their munitions and army fatigues. They should pay the price if found guilty.

@poster, Please tell us what being "The highest paid bank" has to do with jobs or vacancies. You don't really expect us to believe you have offers from ALL the banks you just listed, and are having a hard time making up your mind where to work, do you? A little more focus and objectivity please next time.

I beg to disagree with the last two posters(Jaffarre and QC-1). How can on earth can his problem be confidence when he can't even COMMUNICATE without making a fool of himself?? There is nothing confident in opening your mouth and spewing gibberish just because you want to converse. He has said it plainly, he can't speak proper english, he didn't say he was shy!!

@poster- Read out loud to yourself and ask for correct pronounciation of new words you come across. Watch movies, lots of them, not the crap that comes out of Nolly-wood and please don't watch "Lockstock and Two smoking barrels" either. From good films, you'll learn intonation and sentence construction, and even pick up new words, not necessarily BIG words like most people like to bandy about.

Ronin- Where they used the Audi S80
Blues Brothers- The original, not the remake, !
5000 Mile Chase- It's an old movie, 80's I guess, but there's one really tight chase scene. I watch it on VHS just to see that part of de movie!!

@ kolombia, scroll to the bottom of the Nigerian army website, there is a link for those that wish to apply online.

@ dearikay, It's the 61st round/group/batch/battalion or something and not that they are looking to recruit only 61 people!!!

@bbamishe, Does deploying IT infrastructure mean that the bank will run on auto-pilot? Please try to imagine a scenario before spitting it out. Some bankers have no idea what to do with a PC aside running the bank's application; I actually had a member of staff who I can swear had never held a mouse-pad let alone MOUSE before being deployed to my branch and I handed him a full multi-media workstation. we had a barrel of laughs. Your IT solutions can make you work as fast as you can make it work, they go hand-in-hand.

@suze, If you could share a dozen of such places where we would earn more peanuts, I'm sure we'd be glad to crossover. BTW, the peanuts I earn tend to be quite sizeable, a few sacks really.

It's not hard and fast and there definitely is NO such law that stipulates you have to buy a minimum of so and so amount. It varies from broker to broker. I went hunting for a stockbroker a month ago and found that out. One asked me for share certs worth 200k;Another said I could bring 100k worth of share certs and cash to supplement;Yet another was willing to open with ANY amount because I was referred by a very good customer of theirs.

Another one said they want to even categorize according to occupation, and bankers would need a minimum of 1m to open a CSCS account. Just look around and stop feeling people are out to victimize you.

There's so much hate here, and lots of envy, but the thing is bankers don't earn that much when compared to the oil industry, and I should know cos I see their salaries every month. I find that what excites the ladies is the SUIT, lets face it, some of us do look good in that uniform!
Then there are those that swear that we can't ever be broke cos we see cash everyday, like it's ours, and we can just dip our hands in whenever we feel the urge.
So,even if you're just the cashier, the ladies think you're a hotshot and if you play your cards right, you just might get laid. But that's for brothers that like an easy lay every now and then, like the poster, who I think is very idle, very lazy or just plain un-professional on the job.Learn to seperate your job from your fantasies and remember that the ladies are first of all CUSTOMERS (Kings, ) before you go scribbling cell numbers for them (which I think is very rude, )
My profession offers me a chance to be respectable and be respected, men like you cheapen it.

being honest there are no banks in Nigeria.

@joshjosh, thats a very myopic statement and a really poor generalization. If you worked in the industry way back then, you still can't use that as a yardstick to gauge how far the banks have come.
Banks really have improved, and believe it or not, we're trying to make the concept of "Customer is King" a truism, though it's pretty hard to adapt.
Time was when the HOS(, or accountant) used to sit in an armchair, on a raised platform(signifying his importance) and customers would really have to be important to gain access to him, let alone the almighty manager!This was all before I joined a bank.
My HOS presently sits in the back-office and has performed as temporary teller on days we had pressure. My manager sits in a glass office and you can see him whether you like it or not,

Clothes, !

I feel you attract what you look for and more importantly, U only get what U give!

If you lived licentiously and then expect to get convent material for a wife, you maybe disappointed. Works both ways for men and women. If you had a really torrid past yourself, chances are that you'd be dying to find out about your partners' past before tying the knot. BUT, cos you don't want to hear anything you can't handle, you just let sleeping dogs lie and hope for the best.

Accept all she can tell you, and don't dig too much debris up.

Sleeping, cos I can only travel on christmas morning and my holiday ends on boxing day. Still, I'll see my family and my favorite woman, so it's looking good.

Loving it,

Kuli-Kuli - Rockachops
Kunin Tsamiya - Sour Cream
Brabisko - Cassava mish-mash
Kanzo- Corn flakes (Corn flakes actually is 'kanzo' if u examine it critically, )

One thing is certain, not a whole lot of us can be called bankers. A friend once pointed it out and harsh as it seems, it's true. Most of us are bank workers-Pure and simple. We do debit and credit and close at the end of the day. We earn the right to be called bankers when we qualify i.e CIBN. Though a great deal of us probably know more practically than any institution can add to us, that's what counts on the long run.

I really consider marketing,especially the way it's done in our country,an embarrassment to the industry.In the quest to meet targets, ethical banking practices are often thrown out the window. Why else would most marketing departments consist entirely of ladies? and not just regular LADIES;they have to look good, talk nice and must be FLEXIBLE. We might as well open ensuite brothels while we're at it and offer customers massages and sauna in exchange for a big fat account.

Then the reason most of the replies are nothing but complaints is because most people are in the industry not by choice, but circumstance. Let's face it, if not for the banks and maybe telecoms, we'd still be clutching GMAT textbooks and brown envelopes and browsing the job section on Nairaland. My take on this is that since it's where your daily bread comes from,earn it and make sure you contribute your quota.

The root lies in the backwardness of our Northern Nigerian moslems. I don't see the moslems from other parts of Nigeria getting a violent hard-on every now and then.

But then, the few elite Northern moslems need to keep the other vast majority illiterate as this is the only way they can be assured a limitless supply of daft foot-soldiers.

Em Benny, U are very rude and I'm sorry for Firstbank when they do deploy you to any customer service related function, it's the reason the bank still can't forge ahead. Just read through the junk of a reply you posted again, and thank God you somehow fooled the HR into hiring you.

Well as concerns loans, sure you have a choice, They don't force them on you. Nonetheless, I love what I do, don't have much of a life outside the office, cos I spend most of it inside the office. I'm in the ICT section, it's gruelling

@kioboy, Well I eventually got mine towards the end of last month or so, after raising alot of dust for them. You should have a contact, someone on the inside that u can badger with complaints till they make something happen.Thats what I did anyway, Much luck!!

the first bank medical text.

Please what's a bleeding "text"? Kai at this stage u're mistaking test for text? Too bad
Anyway, a maternity gown will suffice

In as much as this debate is apparently very serious,I can't but help point out the comic aspects that tend to overshadow all else.

THERE IS NO GLORY IN WAR, ONLY DEATH!! Too many of us have grown up watching FICTION like "Tears from the sun" and "Saving Private Ryan". With all the attendant CGI effects and masterful casting of Jerry Bruckheimer and his ilk, we feel we can just grab an assault rifle and kill off people to UNIFY ourselves? What a barrel of tripe!! How many of u would-be commandos have ever heard the rattle of a machine-gun? Or ever lived with the burden of taking a life? Or seen the suffering of women and children that you all claim we would be fighting to preserve? Forget all the glamour and romance hollywood sells to us as movies.

That we abide by the rule of law, doesn't take away one shred of our sovereignty or debase our nationhood, rather it strengthens it.

Already the Naija factor has already kicked in, with someone apportioning blame to Yoruba, Hausa and Ibo, as if that has ANYTHING to do with ANYTHING. In the event of war, Cameroon doesn't even need to mobilize her entire force, our inner wrangling will create a FIFTH COLUMN and we will self destruct.

War? Kai, I'm still in shock here

Chei, Naija bravado is killing me here , being big has nothing to do with flexing muscles and proving any damn point. Did you know that it costs more to wage a war than to implement development projects? Countries like Germany and Japan are still paying world war 2 bills. So what, your cameroonian babe dumped you, is that enough for you to clamour for war? How much more shallow can we get? There are openings in "operation restore hope", send your CVs, I'll make sure you're all drafted, albeit with full Naija army G.I complement.

Thread of a thousand laughs if you ask me , !!

@poster, U deserve all the replies you get on this forum, from good to outright wacky!! When you cheapen your relationship and respect for this girl by advertising it on a forum, I mean sex is supposed to be intimate and I believe sacred, regardless of whether or not you're married.

You have no right to demean the act and by extension yourselves like it were some practical exam for SSCE. The tone of some of the replies I'm viewing here suggests you're specimen on a farm in heat period. Should you disvirgin her? Is she a tin of peak milk that you just pierce open?

This is interesting enough! We have war-mongers in the house, claiming patriotism and nationalism and all the other "ISM's", but how many of you lot would voluntarily be drafted if indeed there is war and we needed manpower? Enlightened individuals like we say we are, ought to be able to assess issues more objectively instead of gloating in our self-giantism that our beloved country really is. We may have a large army, but it's ill-equipped, ill-motivated and generally not capable of sustaining any form of tactical assault. Ask my brethren in the Niger-delta, where they daily whip the ass of the army that some smart alecs say will defend us.

When we joined the international community, it goes without saying that we are bound by the laws and treaties that go with it e.g the ICJ ruling.
Show me one war that solved a problem on mother earth, and I'll shed my pinstripe and don fatigues tomorrow.

The senate has this one wrong, so wrong in fact, i agree with Seun that we need another scandal to make them busy and get their minds of this charade.

Great idea, I'm Magongo-nese, Tell me if you know what part of Kogi that is.

Ujemi,

It's illiteracy and poverty that drives people to such extremes. When all else fails, you take up the cross of a club, have meaningless arguments on stats,transfer rumours,coaching deficiencies, the whole lot!

It's just a game, no need for blood-letting and die-hard rivalry.

Since UTD is on a 4 goal roll,and Gooners can't seem to stop scoring as well, I'd say 4-2 in favor of UTD of course

MAN U rules,
Arsenal Drools, (Yuck, )!

With these antecedents, he probably won't last too long in a bank or any other firm for that matter. INTEGRITY is key,hate to say it but it'll teach him a lesson he won't forget in a hurry!!

So I was just there minding my own business jeje in the office when the lady brought in the fliers and handed them out. It was a lease offer from Diamond bank in collaboration with Park n Shop for a HP Laptop.
Terms seemed good, so decided to give it a go, though I do have issues with Diamond bank as they HAVE never been straight, far as I can remember!
The lady assured me I'd get the laptop within 3-4 days after opening an account and paying my first installment.This I did.
Two days later,she tells me I'd have to wait till the following week. No sweat I say, just a few more days.
Then on friday, I see an SMS from Diamondbank telling me they are intensifying efforts to ensure I receive a Laptop within 2 WEEKS!!
Total nonsense and inefficiency to boot, but I expected this from Diamond bank really. They just plain suck,
Any other person taken for this ride??

What qualifies "they don't pay well"? What is your idea of a "Well" salary? How much do you currently earn? If you want to be paid "Well", then employ yourself, otherwise even the takehome at most oil coys will be too little for you.

If you're unemployed in the first instance,as a man, you'd be out of your mind to be "chasing skirts" for anything meaningful. A jobless man has no business seeking any woman to make unhappy. Take care of yourself first, the women will come naturally, I mean, where you used to blubber and stutter, you'd assume confidence and poise. Its innate in us guys and following otherwise tends to have distastrous consequencies.

If you're already dating and then lose your job, for guys again, please be up and doing or else you'll be humming "lonely" pretty soon. Forget the happy endings we see in Nollywood(Where de guy suddenly hits it big and all his travails are over, ),its just to sell tapes.

@ leleken, sorry to burst your bubble but that's a bleeding lie!! FBN takehome is around 78-90k(entry level, ) depending on where you wind up, and that's AFTER taxes! Managers pay will make you drool cos ask any banker, senior management in FBN is the highest paid in the industry. 110k? don't make me laff, that's like domestic allowance. Get your facts right!!