₦airaland Forum

me and my husband were about to sign the contracts on our new home. he has been very agressive with me lately for very small things. He has been criticising me a lot too and as I discussed before he always wants anal sex and knows it kills me to do it. Apart from this everything had been running smoothly. For the last two weeks straigth i have tried to talkto him but he completely ignores me and tell me i dont even have a job (I was made redundant from my job about a month ago) I am willing to work and have a law degree etc. He uses this to be little me. Then, last night he told me that I no longer have the authority to question him and that I will be now treated like a nigerian lady as I cannot make any financial contribution. I saw a demon in his face. He then said that he will do as he likes and that I have to respect him 100per cent and the only way I could question him was if I was coming in half half with him! is this the norm?

I have no money at all he normally gives me 40 euro a week towards the foodstuffs and all along I was paying the childcare costs alone. He didnt want me to pick up welfare in case it would effect his naturalisation file so i have five euro in my pocket til wednesday. He changed his shift to the early one today so he could go out drinking tonight and expect me to sit there waiting for him. He goes no where with me and wont go to any of my family gatherings. I looked at myself in the mirror and screamed crying thinking what will happen, we are about to have a new home. he then said he was going to a BnB, i said ok well I can pack your things for you and he said great, do that. I packed all his things for him and he took them and walked away. Its over. I'm very sad but am I wrong. i cannot overcome this, my nerves cannot deal with this. So I decided instead of being treated like a chattel that I would go alone for the first time in six years.

Leilah
I am very very very very sorry that this happened to you. I have been reading some of your posts for a while now and it always sounds heart breaking. I really wish you the best in all that you do and happiness.

By the way, you should consider going to work in England or even trying to come to the united states.

It is a health hazard. The microwave changes the molecular structures of food.
Its best to heat up food than put it in the microwave.

I know, but it takes time and time is a very precious commodity here which you cannot afford to loose (In fact, you usually wish you had more of it at times).

By the way are you schooling the US now? Also would you be interesting in attending the africa business conference at harvard or upenn---they cost a money, but i plan to attend one of them this year

omo, sefago, i can't even afford to even begin to attempt that kind of trip, its waaaaaaaay too expensive son. I was in the north east a couple of weeks ago and trust me i am not trying to go there anytime soon.

By the way, i have heard of a conference like this before, are there a lot of Nigerians over there.

the civil rights bills was opposed by democrats and republicans as well. but dont forget that the calibre of people we have in the republican party of today, emanated from the politics of the civil rights era. these are the people who were very bitter with president johnson for signing the civil rights bill and giving the bloody niggers voting rights et al, the left the democrat party and rushed over to the opposition republican party. these white supremacists were mostly white southerners, offsprings of the civil war loosers. they left and even president johnson was said to have lamented . . ''we have just handed over the south to the republicans'' . . .a political picture that we see today.

Yep, they were called the "Dixiecrats". They were the southern wing of the democratic party.

But on a serious note, its amazing to think that for over a 100 years, the democratic party was a southern party, and that it was the republicans who freed the slaves. Now things are quite the opposite thanks to Richard Nixon's southern strategy and Ronald Reagan. What a pity.


On a good note though, there are no dixiecrats left in the republican party and bush deserves some credit for that because he nudged out the last of the dixiecrats in office: senator trent lott.

Good point though I am not a fan of going "home" to find a spouse!

he he he he

ha ha ha ha ha, hillarious. "bernie you can't believe everything you read on the internet, otherwise i'd be a Nigerian millionaire by now." ha ha ha ha ha.

WHAT A CLASSIC COMMERCIAL. ABSOLUTELY PRICELESS he he he

sammuel107 d

Did you live in the carribean??

The bible also says be slow to anger. It also says "Blessed are the meek for they shall inherit the earth". Why when we talk about qualities like meekness, humility, and gentleness it becomes qualities that only the woman should comply by in a marriage whereas the bible tells us every one of us should apply these qualities.
Does God approve of a man being violent?
Would God bypass an angry violent man on judgment day because he was not in a good mood and unfortunately his wife yelled at him?
Take Adam for example when he was queried by God. The first thing he did was to put the blame on Eve. Didn't God lay curses on both of them? Was Adam exempt from punishment?

Please, try to be objective when you intend to use God in your argument.

THE BIBLE WAS NOT MADE FOR THE WOMAN ALONE!!!

You are right, i am not condoning what the man did, afterall, two wrongs don't make a right, the thing is that most men are not blessed with incredible self control so they all have a breaking point. That is what i was trying to emphasize. The bible even says that you should love your wife to the point where you can give your life for her but let's not forget that the bible also says that a contentious woman is one of the worst things that can ever happen to a man. Read the book of proverbs and you will see it several times. Here is an example http://www.letgodbetrue.com/proverbs/19_13.htm

I am not saying that what the man did was justified but it was absolutely stupid but the poster is trying play the victim here when she was just at fault. Where is the fairness. Why didn't she just let him cool off when she saw that he was angry. Doesn't she know that not a lot of men are blessed with self-control and that they can only control there emotions to a certain point. When they reach breaking point they snap like what happened here. The woman should have known when to stop and be quiet and not follow the man and keep assailing him.

It is always the young and single ones who scream and bark 'call the cops'.

While i do not condone anyform of physical violence especially in a married home i also do not think calling the security agents would do anything good for a/your marriage.

It is not in my place to tell you or any other married couple how to run their home but one thing i have come to realise is that a man is less likely to lay a finger on you if do not stop him from getting out of an arguement which in this case is when you stopped him from leaving the house cos you thought it was too late.

When we were younger, my parents had arguements (not in our presence. But we always knew) but my dads way of managing the situation was to leave the house. Back then I always thought dad was never going to come back. But each time, he came back with a big smile on his face with some boxes of shoes from 'BATA'. Within a couple of hours my parents would be on there way out to somewhere i do not know.

I am not married and won't be for a few years at least. One thing i do know is marriage is not a bed of roses.

Don't mind dem jare, they don't know anything.

Wowwwwwwwwwww. The things you learn on nairaland.

the guy singlehandedly introduced the US Visa lottery program

For that, he is a great man in my book.


On a serious note, the Kennedy family were great public servants who served there country well.

Its about time, let's hope it stays "over".

With the harsh hot weather, Nigerians still rap themselves up in thick over-all like corpse in the name of maintaining their borrowed culture.

Na waoh!

So we should be walking around naked shebi?? Why don't you come to my school and see how girls dress shamelessly with there tiny skimpy shorts. Nonsense

Now, i know where "Law & Order" came up with the theme for one of there episodes.

radiant, you have a point, check this out.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zvE1DuY-hLQ

You go soon hear from seun

I send am message?
sagamite, here is the original post jo.

I dig you.  yes that's a big problem in nigeria. it serves some entertainment value though and do enjoy all the yabbing and jokes. And the oil problem, I noticed it too. i am happy people with correct heads are increasing in nigeria. Emeagwali is a small fry though very small fry, and nothing to be proud of.
By the way are you schooling the US now? Also would you be interesting in attending the africa business conference at harvard or upenn---they cost a money, but i plan to attend one of them this year.

You are right, the man is such a very very small fry but we blow his achievements out of proportion because pretty much he is the only thing we have.

Good ambitions, but take it from someone with similar bulge bracket background it is not the be all and end all. Your dream should be to set-up your own stuff. Working at GS might make you money but for most it does not bring happiness as it is cut-throat and back-stabbing.
Less than 30% of those that go to top MBAs would end up in GS and its like, less than 10% of these would excel in the way you hear in the sensational stories or profiles you read. So you are playing a high risk with your $100K, although it gives you an advantage but in the industry now the power of MBA is waning.
But as I said, it is a good ambition but a better one is to find a product or service people need and use your money to develop it and sell it to people. You get all the rewards and you are your own boss, no need for anybody to give aggressive appraisals despite your MBA. And you can keep a relationship with friends and family.
$100K investment, if spent right, can provide you with a business that turnsover $2m within 3 years, and the profit on that (and capital gains) would exceed virtually all jobs.

Yes, you do have a point man, the reason why i said it would be beneficial if we went to these schools is that it would help most of us to wanna be successful enterpreneurs. An MBA teaches you how to run a business well, so that you don't make normal mistakes that new business make. It teaches you key things like corporate strategy, negotiations, and key issues that affect the business world nowadays like how to maintain quality control during expansion, where and how to find talent and several other problems in business. The value of an MBA is very valuable because a lot of the people who go on to this programs become very successful enterpreneurs. Just look at the slides that i showed yu about successful immigrants, some of this people went to some of the best schools in the world.

Another thing is that getting a top notch MBA probably in a place like MIT, Stanford or Berkeley which have top research institutions would introduce you to future Sergey Brin's (founder of google) who are looking to start there own companies: it would introduce to the world of venture capital creating more opportunities for you to start your own business.

The whole alumni network thing is usually just a business school sales pitch to get their hands on your $100K

ehn  na lie o, it works wonders. In my school, i even see old alums coming to recruit from our school.

;d

The legend is back.

amazing.

Oga sagamite, this people don tire me sef. If you want to read my last post, just go to my profile and click "show the last post of this person" right under "additional information" and you would see my response. Useless website.

Even though I haven't heard the song yet, I believe the song is exactly how it is . . lol.

Listen to it yourself and make up your mind, don't let people make up your mind for you.

Yep, i don't know why? this website is absolutely useless, this is why i say it would be better if Nigerians went to good business schools because as you have seen the owner of this website doesn't know how to run a business. Posters on this web have been complaining for a while about there posts getting deleted and seun is not listening to them. This shows that the man does not the cardinal rule of business; the customer is king. He might learn that if he went to one of those business schools i posted

@poster

If you want romantic foods go to this page; https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-293673.0.html

Why only 15?? I thought 28 out of 35 were overage. Did the NFA just pick just allow the best player to stay? Now, i know why they had an emergency meeting in the first place instead of kicking out the players immediately.

I dig you. yes that's a big problem in nigeria. it serves some entertainment value though and do enjoy all the yabbing and jokes. And the oil problem, I noticed it too. i am happy people with correct heads are increasing in nigeria. Emeagwali is a small fry though very small fry, and nothing to be proud of.
By the way are you schooling the US now? Also would you be interesting in attending the africa business conference at harvard or upenn---they cost a money, but i plan to attend one of them this year.

You are right, the man is such a very very small fry but we blow his achievements out of proportion because pretty much he is the only thing we have.

Good ambitions, but take it from someone with similar bulge bracket background it is not the be all and end all. Your dream should be to set-up your own stuff. Working at GS might make you money but for most it does not bring happiness as it is cut-throat and back-stabbing.

Less than 30% of those that go to top MBAs would end up in GS and its like, less than 10% of these would excel in the way you hear in the sensational stories or profiles you read. So you are playing a high risk with your $100K, although it gives you an advantage but in the industry now the power of MBA is waning.

But as I said, it is a good ambition but a better one is to find a product or service people need and use your money to develop it and sell it to people. You get all the rewards and you are your own boss, no need for anybody to give aggressive appraisals despite your MBA. And you can keep a relationship with friends and family.

$100K investment, if spent right, can provide you with a business that turnsover $2m within 3 years, and the profit on that (and capital gains) would exceed virtually all jobs.

The whole alumni network thing is usually just a business school sales pitch to get their hands on your $100K.

Yes, you do have a point man, the reason why i said it would be beneficial if we went to these schools is that it would help most of us to wanna be successful enterpreneurs. An MBA teaches you how to run a business well, so that you don't make normal mistakes that new business make. It teaches you key things like corporate strategy, negotiations, and key issues that affect the business world nowadays like how to maintain quality control during expansion, where and how to find talent and several other problems in business. The value of an MBA is very valuable because a lot of the people who go on to this programs become very successful enterpreneurs. Just look at the slides that i showed yu about successful immigrants, some of this people went to some of the best schools in the world.

Another thing is that getting a top notch MBA probably in a place like MIT, Stanford or Berkeley which have top research institutions would introduce you to future Sergey Brin's (founder of google) who are looking to start there own companies: it would introduce to the world of venture capital creating more opportunities for you to start your own business.

Don't worry, Africa is coming
up to dust them off.


God Bless Nigeria!

Amen.

@poster
Go and do your homework on the immigration website or make a couple of calls. By the way, you might want to test yourself for STD's.

@poster
Go and do your homework on the immigration website or make a couple of calls.

I try to block them out  Too sappy for me

ha ha ha, you are too much.

stop lying abeg, anyway you might just get little attention

How can a woman who is probably on menopause be pregnant?

Ladies and Gentlemen in the house, Please, I need your views. I've been on this forum for some time and I have noticed that a good number of ladies here are not friendly! Saw a post some minutes ago by a lady who claimed that guys where disturbing her with unwanted mails. Does it mean that we guys need gals more than they need us. I think some gals on this forum are just too cold except for some few ones. My advice to you ladies: try to be more friendly on this forum. It's a small world.

Have you ever heard of privacy? Don't disturb people if they don't know you.