GreatAgb:


How can u say marriage is not a cure for loneliness when the very reason woman was created is because 'It is not good for the man to be alone'. If u are married and still lonely, then you must have married the wrong woman because even though she is present, she is to you like the animals were to Adam.

Lol... My Dear i am talking about reality and practicality and not what is written in the Bible..Don`t get me wrong i value God`s word but i wonder why the world and Nigeria in particular is in a mess when we all read the Bible and the Quran.. The School will teach you the theory and life will teach you the practical, read in between the lines.. Your happiness in life cannot be placed on someone else i.e. your partner.. To be free from been lonely you have to find a life purpose that drives you and makes you jump out of bed in the morning to hit the road and the real life purpose is reaching out to others and putting smiles on people`s face, that is what Jesus Christ did and all the great women and men who found their purpose on earth...

tosyne2much:
This is awesome. Bros abeg wetin u dey drink?

Nothing i drink oo my Brother... Have been married for 8 years and got separated, separation has given me so much room for a deep reflection and retrospect... When i see people going into the contract of marriage for the wrong reasons i feel very bad... I have two kids out of my marriage, Bro it is better to remain single and receive all the insults in the world than going into a marriage for the wrong reason.. Nothing is killing me so fast today than seeing my beautiful kids growing without both parents living under the same roof. The fact that i will wake up every morning and no longer getting them ready for school, driving them to school, pick them up when i have time, do their home work together breaks me down but i am happy being alone, it could have been worse.

The OP needs to take a chill Pepsi big bottle and truly figure out what he really wants out of marriage and most importantly find a woman who shares the same life value with him...

OP take it in your stride and let it slide... I have a friend, if u don't know you will think we are brothers,his Dad died in my arms.. I was a great contributor to his marriage financially, logistically and otherwise but i gave him a very long space after his wedding, i am married but separated.

He is very religious and i understand the kind of advice he would be getting from self righteous people, some may think i will be a bad influence to him, i may sound insecure but i hate embarrassment and so guide myself accordingly.

He noticed and tried talking to me i simply told him nothing has changed but i think his wife deserves his time more and he needs to hit the ground running to build his marriage.

Don't take it personal, life will throw a lot of stuff at you how many do you want to whine about?

Marriage does not cure loneliness, if that is the only reason for getting married then take a chill Pepsi big bottle and relax because many are married and still lonely.. Secondly, what people say or think about you at 37 should not be your business, neither should it force you to get married... Bro i simply want you marry because you understand the purpose of the contract called marriage.. "Solitude is a gift".

I quite enjoyed watching pics of the girls with flat belly...It turns me on,i don`t need a big belly competitor at home..Nice one.

sinie:


looool she actually cries when you tell her you will give her food? that's funny.

Truth...
In spite of her poor eating habit she is exceptionally brilliant... They nicknamed her "Grandmother" because she acts like an old woman..Take your time and feed your baby little by little at short intervals don`t expect her to finish a large bowl,don`t force her or use any appetite enhancement drug.. Also don`t be worried about her stature you may be concerned that she is not fat but that`s Nigeria mentality, being fat does not translate to being healthy.

OP there is nothing wrong with your daughter,my daughter was doing same when she was that age and it gave me a lot of concern but the family doctor simply advised that we feed her little by little at intervals and also ensure she takes a lot of liquid.. She is 6yrs now and still does not like food..In fact, if she does something wrong just tell her you will give her large portion of food, hmmmmmm, she will start crying.. The mere sight of food scares her up till now.

Once there is food on the dining table she will either excuse her self to wee or just escape for from the scene...See i never see this kind thing before ooo.. She likes meat, Custard, Bread, Gizzard etc.. I ensure these things are available.

OP if you are not too financially ok, please look for a woman who is financially independent so both of you can make the financial contribution to build the home, don`t fall for love conquers all things....Very few ladies understands what it means to be with a man who is low on finance.. Financial crises is a home breaker but if you find a woman who understands the concept of submission,loyalty and humility even when it seems that the dry season is only affecting your home then you are good to go but wait a minute "Nobody wants to suffer" that is the new cool..

sben2308:




Getting a job isn't a problem for me but my fear is that if one don't try to make this bosses listen they might unintentionally close their biz down demselves.
Y i say this is cuz I av my own growing company I run but I listen to my staff cuz most cases they see wat i don't see.

AUTOCRATIC AND DEMOCRATIC LEADERSHIP both got their advantages and disadvantages... However i did like to say that Nigeria is presently messed up and our basic problem is the dearth of moral values;80% of the time you have to be AUTOCRATIC to survive in the Nigeria Business environment.. He is the boss just let him run things as he deems fit while you continue to play your managerial role..

I don`t even understand how these people in Government reason....It is simply because Nigerians are docile and corrupt. Otherwise what is the rational for increasing tariff without a corresponding power supply? How? How?? How God how did you make black man this way? How?

NigLasPresident:


Not like the Man Dino even stole... Now our attention have been diverted from d rot in the system to trivias about a mans persona life. The man spent his legit 1k on his personal issue. Even if owning a foreign account is illegal why not hit on that than talking at length about his personal life and shortcomings as if we all don't have some mistakes we have made in our personal lifes

When you go to war it is full confrontation and assault against your enemy until the enemy camp is subdued... Nothing is left out even morality and fairness... So let the spectators continue to watch as the war of exposure rages on...Calm down, if possible you can order for 1 carton of any alcohol of your choice and send the bill to me.

shachris02:


nobody is taking off social media. We are only saying that we would regulate it so that folks would not abuse it to slander and destroy.

If them slander you then go to Court and seek redress.
That is what the Courts are meant for,don`t let those jobless Politicians fool you and take away your fundamental right.
One thing that keeps beating my imagination is simple things practiced in other climes becomes complex immediately it is introduced to Nigeria and Nigerians...

They simply don`t want the exposure social media will give to their heinous acts..

The analysis is fine but this generation is over hyping sex and its related issues especially the young unmarried ones... There are more challenging problems than sex in marriage i want to believe.

In a honest relationship all medical plus sexual conditions must be discussed before saying "i do" otherwise it is tantamount to deceit, so what is the issue?

In marital issues finance, compatibility, values, beliefs, in-laws relationship, provision & care for children are more pronounced than sex.

A partner should be able to discuss his/her sexual issues with her partner and allow him/her to decide if he /she can continue with the relationship.

So in essence they gave away competence for physical appearance. Huh? What a fu***cking HR team.. The problem of Nigeria is hypocrisy... They want you to act holy rather than being holy..

When are we going to realize that Government defined as those elected by the people and those appointed by those elected by the people are scammers? I am tired seeing how simple things becomes so complex in Nigeria.

I am fixed in my corner speechless because on twitter and on ground i was one of those who vehemently supported the election of Buhari though from the South South.. A country without direction for 6 months and a president who has become deaf and dumb to the yearnings of the people is just one too many for any sane mind to bear.

As for me it is all scam and the only solution is to see how i can join them some day to continue with the scam. I feel like a maga who has being scammed and wish he can have a chance to meet the scammer.

santosesq1:
Read Malachi 3 vs 10. Tanx !

Why is it that the Church lays so much emphasis on Malachi 3v10? Are there no other scriptures from the old testament as it is called that also need our obedience?

The way my Church goes about this tithe stuff i am beginning to think there is more to it than meets the eye..To the point that they will threaten you of going to hell if u dont pay and claim you are robbing God... Last Sunday the Pastor announced that it will be a prerequisite for marriage in the Church.. Damn! Lord please we need your second coming quickly, your children are been hounded & rounded up by Satan & even those leading your house..

Christianity is loosing its value so fast.
In summary, if after my obedience and winning soul for Christ not paying tithe will send me to hell, please let me go to hell because i can't give anyone my 10% God does not need it..Period.

free2ryhme:


traditional and cultural method? Please kindly define these methods so we can learn and also how it can be applied practically in this modern age

Check the Library or visit google to know the system of government in practise in Nigeria before the advent of the British...

It is a sacarsm, read between the lines... I simply mean practise your borrowed democracy in full or go back to your ancient practise... One of the major feature of democracy is respect for the rule of law..

That feature is missing in our democratic process.

free2ryhme:
Make dem arrest OP MESA van then I go believe

There are exception to every law or rule..OP MESA is an operational team that should have a free passage way to respond to emergency not an army personnel in his private or official car.

I think the problem why we continue to rate the military so high is because of the past military interventions in our democracy and this action has done a great damage to our psyche... Democracy as been practised in Nigeria is a borrowed system from the west, why can't we take a cue from them or dump it and go back to our traditional and cultural method before the incursion of the British?

Real2020:


Typical yoruba OP hyping its own...was there steady power supply in Lagos under Fashola? Why are people so deficient of basic human reason.

I hope you know about the Exclusive, Concurrent and Residual list? Pretty sure you don't know otherwise you would have known which tier of government is responsible for electricity or power as we call it... Get education, ignorance is bliss.

Divorce,separation or whatever you call it is a very difficult situation that leaves the children psychologically and emotionally drained. However, both parents can go a long way to help the child by given the child their unconditional support and not allowing the child caught up with their adult issues but the reverse is always the case because the divorce or separation most often leaves both parties with resentment and anger for each other and so they find it difficult to put aside their issues to help the child.

Most times communication is severed, if the child is a minor he/she likely goes with the Mom and the Dad stops visiting or even calling to check on the child.stop paying the child`s educational fees, no financial support for the child etc and so the child is left wondering what wrong he/she did to Dad that he is not visiting or calling, the child would think he/she has offended the Dad because he/she has no knowledge of what divorce or separation is all about.

I am currently separated with my spouse, i can tell you that it is the most difficult decision i have ever made but we have both learnt how to put our differences aside when it comes to the issues of the children and despite our bitterness for each other we still endeavor to put the interest of the children above ours. A day does not go without me calling the children, their education, well being, health remains my responsibility.

I have visiting right, i ensure i pick them up when they are meant to be with me, visit places with them, eat out, play games, wash the car together, go to market together etc..

I have to go now will make more contribution later.

Divorce,separation or whatever you call it is a very difficult situation that leaves the children psychologically and emotionally drained. However, both parents can go a long way to help the child by given the child their unconditional support and not allowing the child caught up with their adult issues but the reverse is always the case because the divorce or separation most often leaves both parties with resentment and anger for each other and so they find it difficult to put aside their issues to help the child.

Most times communication is severed, if the child is a minor he/she likely goes with the Mom and the Dad stops visiting or even calling to check on the child and so the child is left wondering what wrong he/she did to Dad that he is not visiting or calling, the child would think he/she has offended the Dad because he/she has no knowledge of what divorce or separtion is all about.

People have reasons why they make certain decisions and that reason we may never know and it is not our path to know else it would be an exercise in futility.. Our path is to learn from their actions.

zicoraads:
I have thought of several headings to give this "epistle" and decided on this one. Ordinarily, I would have done this in the Romance section, but I would prefer to get more matured responses concerning the topic. (no offence to Romancelanders).

I met this girl some years back. She is Igbira. Also a Muslim. Before we met, I was in a relationship of about 9 years. Although we had broken up once before and came back together. This girl I was dating before meeting this Igbira girl was perfect in all aspects. In short, she was too perfect i.e. if there is anything like that. She cooked well, was super beautiful, respected every member of my family...especially my parents and siblings. In short, we were the perfect couple to be; and our walking down the aisle was just a matter of when we decided to. I was someone her siblings and her mum regarded as 'The One.' She was also someone I could beat my chest and vouch for as regards decency and up rightness.

Through all these years we never had sex. We decided we were going to wait till when we got married. Although, I had flings, several flings and had sex whenever I wanted to. Over the years though, the relationship became very, very boring to me. I tried, I know I did. I tried to spice things up. But the more I tried, the more everything became boring and at some point, I was beginning to get irritated by her. But I endured all these. Not for anything, but because I knew leaving her would break most people's heart, especially my mum's. And maybe I couldn't summon the courage yet because I was still under my dad's roof. They still had considerable control over me.

After leaving NYSC in November, 2012; I got a job in Feb., 2013. That is when I met the Igbira girl. She was a complete opposite of my girlfriend. She was very, very lively...full of life. Extremely intelligent and talented. She also had amazing foresight.

After getting a job, I started getting a steady in flow of money. And as the money came, so it left. I spent without having any plan. After all, I wasn't paying rent and wasn't buying food...so, what the heck! My girlfriend too didn't see anything wrong with all of that. I guess she loved it too. Who wouldn't? But everything changed when I started becoming close to this Igbira girl. She also had a boyfriend then, so it was just platonic. After about 2 months of our meeting, she broke up with her boyfriend. Her boyfriend said his parents told him they will not accept her as a wife. So, she had to let go. She was devastated...and my shoulders were there to cry on.

After a while, our closeness came to a head and my girlfriend started asking questions. I had to lie on every single occasion to cover up. It is worthy to note that my girlfriend was the typical "Coming to America" wife that was presented to Akeem. I can't remember any quarrel we had throughout all those years. But this other lady was different. I think from then till now we have quarrelled more times than I had with my girlfriend. And this other lady is no where to be compared in terms of beauty. But what she didn't have facially, she made up for it with her intellect.

After a while, I couldn't take the lying anymore and decided to break up with my girlfriend. I guess it didn't come as a surprise to her because she saw it coming. The only people who didn't were my friends and family. My mum was devastated, still is. A family meeting was called and I was summoned. At this point I wasn't living with my parents anymore. This Igbira lady had pushed me, almost to a point of quarrelling to cultivate the habit of saving most of my income. In short, I achieved more in a very short time of being with her. She would push, plan, budget, plan, plan and plan. My people on the hand were furious, my mom was convinced that I was under a charm and she made sure almost everyone heard her out. I received calls from home and abroad asking me why I would act in such a foolish manner. I stopped picking my calls at some point.

After a few months, everything became a little quiet. And we became inseparable. But then she started whispering about marriage. Which I was already thinking of. But then, the religious question was one we couldn't find an answer to. She tried to convince me though, tried to tell me and show me the beauty of Islam. I, on the other hand, tried to show her the beauty of Christianity. After a while, we decided to set a deadline for ourselves. If there was no solution then, we would just call it quits. That was when I decided to shift grounds. I was now ready for the both of us to remain where we wanted to be (even though it goes against everything I believe in). Still, she refused to budge. According to her, her religion was the most important thing to her. And if she looses it, she would have lost part of herself.

Now I knew my parents were probably going to disown me if I had brought up the idea of marriage to someone who was not only an Igbira, but also a Muslim. But I decided that my happiness was utmost. But one thing I failed to grasp was how she on the other hand, didn't even think of taking risks. She claimed if I loved her enough, I should be able to make that sacrifice for her. But the question I kept asking her was, why can't you also make the sacrifice for me?

After a while, we called it quits. It hurt like cray. Still does. I find it hard to concentrate a times. I have done several things to get her off my mind, but none has worked thus far. I just decided to put this down today, even though some people I don't want seeing this might. And I don't fancy doing the anonymous thingy.

I don't believe I was "jazzed." Although I have never missed anyone like this before. I guess in the end, religion and tribe won out. Probably what I deserved!

We have seen people of different religion married and swimming the tide together... It requires a high level of tolerance and unconditional love.. However, there are certain issues that are fundamental and core to ones life and religion is one of it.

In my capacity and from my experience i will suggest you let go it will reduce your prayer points in the future.

I opened the thread to read at least 20 reasons why the aviation ministry should not be merged but was really disappointed.. I only saw a reference as to how the ministry was previously merged and later reinstated.. People should put their acts together, i mean facts and figures before speaking... Now how do i make an informed decision with what this Union man just said?

Lordave:
I wasn't expecting you to easily comprehend what I meant.

I mean say the merged ministries dey too much for one man, e go slow the process of change and we fit remain like this after Buhari leaves.

It will not slow the process in any way... If you really understand the nature and terrain of Governing Lagos State then you would understand the three ministries cum under one will not in anyway be a herculean task for Mr. Babatune Raji Fashola. Like Lagos state what we need is a visionary leader, one with the political will and a pedestal for high achievement and i think the Minister in person of Raji Fashola possesses all these qulaities.

However, this is a Federal appointment unlike Lagos State where he has direct access to fund and can hire and fire his subordinates who fails to perform, the only obstacle i foresee is the Federal Bureaucracy and proper relationship between the Minister of state and the Federal Minister.

Long Live The Federal Republic Of Nigeria.

They have their internal issues like every other religious body. They are dogged and fanatical about their doctrines even though majority of them do not practice what they preach. their beliefs and doctrine is narrow minded.

For instance they believe JW is the only true religion and pretty sure if God`s Kingdom should come today only the 8 Million JWs in the world as mentioned by the OP if found not wanting will inherit the earth out of which the remnants of the 144,000 who will rule as kings and priest with Christ will be taken from. Now, look around the world and think of other fantastic people who belongs to other religious body,what will be their fate?

Would they be condemn to destruction? Or they will be assimilated and then taught the doctrine of the JWs?

bisdam9086:


I think the reason why your pastor had to separate you guys is that living with a woman is not easy. For a man to be living with a woman means that the man is very tolerant . Living with a woman is tantamount to living with a mad person(No offence). The strong skills used to endure and maintain a relationship with a woman for years can be required to make decision in the Society because it requires a lot of intelligence to stay under a roof with a woman for years.

Really? That is a baseless yard stick to measure tolerance or intelligence and who can make better decision.. A church that will not use the Bible as it's yard stick for decision making and shepherding of it's flock is a failed church.

sonofananimal:
my brother, because of this things, I hate going to church. There are very good in impacting a strong mental frustration on you subconsciously. The church is becoming something else nowadays, that's why women are much in the church than male. Because we men don't want anything that will tamper our mental status.

You are correct...It is said "No one can put you down without your consent". If i can't find a church that will not discriminate me on my marital status then i guess my parlor becomes my worship center every Sunday..

I am married but separated you need to see the treatment i was accorded in Church. The pastor called out all the men to wait for further discussion on an issue and i joined the crew as a man who is above youthful age.. Low and behold they separated us, single men, separated or divorced and held their meeting and never called back to put us on the know on the outcome as promised.

So i assumed their definition of a 'man" is that which is married and living with his wife and children.. Well, life is too short to hang on to the uneccessary so i quit the church.

Now searching for a new place where Jesus Christ the non discriminator is present.

I am married but separated you need to see the treatment i was accorded in Church. The pastor called out all the men to wait for further discussion on an issue and i joined the crew as a man who is above youthful age.. Low and behold they separated us, single men, separated or divorced and held their meeting and never called put to put us on the know on the outcome as promised.

So i assumed their definition of a 'man" is that which is married and living with his wife and children.. Well, life is too short to hang on to the uneccessary so i quit the church.

Now searching for a new place where Jesus Christ the non discriminator is present.

I think we are getting things right... The Rivers State election was a mockery of our democratic system. I hope a thorough investigation would be put in place to unravel the mask men behind the political killings witnessed in that state during the election.