₦airaland Forum

You're thinking about her too much. Control your thoughts and you'd be free

Women and exaggerations are 5 and 6. I don't have time for insults and I'm not in Nigeria

pocohantas:
Women actually take injections better than men. Ask any nurse around you.

If men were carrying pregnancies, humans would be almost extinct. There are pains men are designed for, pregnancy is not one. They can’t even watch the process, yet you convince yourself they can live it? They wouldn’t even do a godamn vasectomy, yet you think they will have a doctor slash their vaginas with a blade or tear their bikini line in the name of CS? God knows why he didn’t even give them the womb.

You people think everything is by muscle and brute force. That is why y’all go upandan, blowing up everywhere.

OP, please marry a man that has sense. I don’t know how many they are in Nigeria currently- but your chances of hooking one seems slim.

Even two months for some. Na trailer pass there?

SweetCunt97:
the pussy was healed back to normal by 3 months?

Women and exaggerations. How come the same pain both men and women share like when taking injection, women behave as if they are using knives on them. If men were carrying pregnancy they would sulk it up!

After complaining, you'd still do it again.

You just dey ignorant. The earth is over 4.5 billion years old!

pozehnani:
70million what?? .

Is the earth even up to 7 millions years?
Lie with conscience na.

Black man with this cry baby mentality. No wonder the blacks in US have been in perpetual slavery

Sterope:
Yes if you are not self hating.

It is logic but if you are a self hating black man, you would think it is emotional.

You guys cannot make sacrifice even if your lives depend on it. You think the western world became what they are by not making sacrifice? When US boycotts the cheap oil of a terrorist country, don't you know their citizens pay more?

Maxymilliano:
The campaign against Beef only exists on the net and the minds of the conveners.

Beef is the cheapest source of protein.

Bleaching things

Who talks of data here? I have data I don't need. Nigeria is just a drag!

Do not elect Bubu as president, SW said they will. Do not reelect Bubu in 2019, SW said they will.

Now who's crying btw SW,SS and SE?

OMG! I remember she saying she's an orphan. So sad!

Let dem continue, na dem go tire.
By the time South do away with the North for good, then their true Somalia status will be visible even to the blind

Who be this one

aleeyus:
ifa slap u

Do not neglect your first love which is your husband!

How regular is your sex, upto 7 times per month? Frequent love making helps couples to bond and improves harmony. Also, do you initiate sex or wait all the time for him to initiate, which will make him see you as not sexually on top of your game? Do you have normal sex or only because of looking for a child? Do you give mind blowing sex or boring ones? Some men may feel shortchanged if they cannot cheat yet sexually starved in the marriage. Up your sexual game!


Another point is that its possible you partially ignored him after the first child's birth and now you want another child so you ignore him 100% and concentrate on the kids. He may not be happy how you changed after the first child....you have to reprioritise him

Vevejoy:
Plesse forget the errors and focus on the content.

So here's my issue.

I've been married for 6yrs and it's been a blissful journey- of course with minor issues here and there but nothing to worry about until May 5th 2020 when I'd say things turned upside down.

We live abroad and struggled to have kids but God finally blessed us with a beautiful daughter in Sept 2019. Child care being super expensive here, we wanted one of our moms to come help us with the baby when I return to work after my maternity leave. So on the eve of our wedding anniversary which was the 4th of May last year, I asked my husband for the say 10th time about beginning the procedure of bringing a mom over to help since I'll be returning to work. He asked which mom and I said in my exact words; "of course my mom" because I know that when a woman gives birth, her mom usually go to help her. Did that change our story? My God, marriage has been one hell of a thing since that day.

My husband said I am selfish, disrespectful, and want to dominate him. He said things will never be the same again and since then, my marriage has been a stress zone.

My husband is numb to my feelings. He's been ignoring me, I've been a nag I'll admit since tue incident last year. I now talk alot and mostly complain about everything whenever we are together. It's sad and I've actually had conversations with myself to ignore him and stop nagging but I continue to do it, I need help on how to shut up and observe.

I can cry from now to die kingdom come and this man wouldn't be moved. He cannot shift his stance because of me at all. He does whatever he likes and disregard everything I say. E.g before this crisis, we had an appointment to see our Dr to start trying for baby number two because the Dr's advised that since we just had a baby, it's best to try for another soonest given that we had challenges conceiving the first one. This man cancelled the appointment with our Dr and has blatantly refused to start trying for a baby right now. He says when the time comes he'll let me know. Up till now the time has not come despite the fact that delaying may impact our chance of conceiving again. What a life!� � �.

Also, he has decided that no parent will come and I'm back to work already. My poor baby who use to sleep till 9am now suffer in this winter getting up at 6am to be dropped off at daycare all because her father is angry and want to make sure he doesn't do anything that will make his wife smile. He'll rather spend thorns of money paying for daycare even after I've told him that I don't mind his mom coming. Mind u, I have a very good relationship with my inlaws, especially my mom inlaw so it's not an inlaw fight.

The worst of them all is that despite living abroad for 17yrs, this man believes so much in native doctors to the extend that I can't even explain. Infact it's something that I've always fought him about and talked against. I've even complained about it to his family. And guess what, when I talk against, he tells his native drs who of course has ignited the fire in our home. Can you believe that in this chaos this man took me on a vacation in August last year that he wanted to clear his mind so we can start a new chapter and be happy again only to tell me that I have been trying to use a charm on him in the past months thats why things got rough. He said the 3 women I am using appeared to him but he is stronger ����. I am laughing because I felt pity and ashamed for him. How can a grown man be this vulnerable to suitsayers? I have never in my entire life visited a native doctor for myself not to talk of going to take a charmI didn'tvisit the native drs when I was strugglingto have a baby and this man thinks I'llvisit one now to charm him. Wondering y he will even believe such a thing. Infact I don't even know any native doctor. So when he said that, I told him that if I had known that his change of attitude is because of this stupid reason, I would not have fought for my marriage like I did. Of course I got so mad and told him a piece of my mind. I am even ashamed of telling people that despite this man's exposure he consults native Dr's in Africa more than even the people in Africa. Infact if they say yes that's what he listens to. He has even paid a flight from here to Africa because a native Dr told him that his dad who raised him to be the man he is today is trying to kill him and he should come for protection.

I decided to tell his mom about the accusation. His mom told me she scolded at him and warned him never to say such nonsense. Well I just pity him and I'm praying for him. But truth is I regret my marriage to him because of these his believes. I just don't believe in divorce and don't even have the heart to move out I would have done so. Mind u, I am 100% independent so it's not an issue of being scared of surviving alone.

Well one Sunday night as usual I talked to him like crazy and he said "all he wants is for our relationship to work and he will put in his best effort with support from me. I said I want same and will put in my best effort with support from him too*. This happened around september and things have been like normal on and off since then.

I have a few worries which I'd like you to advise me on the way forward.
- My husband is heartless. No matter how I lament, cry, beg, approach him nicely. Infact no matter the manner in which I bring up an issue to him, he doesn't get moved at all. He stays on his stance and doesn't care. How am I suppose to live with a man like this. He goes mute when I try having a conversation with him.

- I have a weakness of talking alot which I acknowledge and I'm doing my best to work on it though I'm yet to change completely. But I can say there's a huge improvement. Infact I'm able to walk away now.

Can a marriage really work out out without a compromise from both parties? I feel like I am compromising alot but this man is doing whatever he likes. In all of these he doesn't cheat but has abused me physically 4times in our 6yrs of marriage which I'm still pained about. The worst abuse right now is emotional abuse and I've told him so several times.

We use to be an exemplary and happy couple up till this may 2020. What will you do in a situation like mine With? With a man like my husband who I'd say lacks empathy and a concience how do I deal with him? His mom said she talked to him but I don't see any difference.

I feel miserable right now in my marriage. Since I got married this is our hardest hit and unfortunately it got prolonged probably bc of his native Dr's who told him I am using a charm on him which he believed.


Help me out please

Ok [ quote author=StacyO post=98218151]

No nau.

I meant having sex in marriage is different from having premarital sex.[/quote]

You go stubborn o.

Even in marriage, you go ask your husband whether na food?

StacyO:
That's in marriage.

I'm married but I'm just trying to broading your understanding of men so that when you get married, you don't downplay the importance of sex to your husband. Do not say you were not told

StacyO:
Little wonder they can equally rape anything breathing cause of it .


Men love sex,true and very natural.


My friend control your urge joor.



You'll travel a far distance for sex only to meet doom.

OBO.....oga kpata kpata of dem all

Sex is more than food to men. No man would travel 100km for food but would travel 100pkm for sex. Women do not understand men at all, how can you compare ordinary food with sex?

StacyO:
Who is Bright O??

Now that's what I'm saying,sex is more like food to some men now.

Funny enough my desire increases after a stressful day as sex reduces stress absolutely for me and I sleep better afterwards

thinkmoney:
You many at times will observe that your urge for sex is not usually in it's highest after an hectic day. This is same reason why child rearing and house chores takes a toll on women's urge. STRESS IS WHY THEY APPEAR TO LOOSE INTEREST IN SEX

Polygamy solves sex for man 100% but bring more stress to settle quarrels

ogianyo:
Wow. This is the reason I joined nairaland many years ago. In the last few years the influx of very young persons into the forum led to a reduction in the quality of discussion. I ve enjoyed reading through the arguments. Non of you is wrong just as non of you can be absolutely right. Polygamy does not necessarily mean access to more sex. If it did most polygamists would not still need to keep mistresses when they can afford it. So I think trying to solve the problem by taking on more wives is not likely to work. The issue of a sexual balance between couples is a special blessing because nothing warns either of you as to how things will turn out in that dept after kids come. The lady that submitted that the rigours of running the home with children and probably holding down a job leads to physical exhaustion which takes its toll on libido is probably closer to the truth. Also it must be added that child birth takes a heavy toll on the physical condition of a woman's sexuality. It takes understanding and serious skills on the part of a husband to help a woman not feel very unsexy and with attendant toll on libido.

Is this not riches? Dey deceive yourself

Olunmercy56:
My dear, I'll go for romantic! Money will follow Most rich women are having sex with small boy or their domestic staffs. I don't want much riches, inasmuch we have a house and two cars of our own with some business, I'm okay

Excuses! Men are even the ones suggesting different things, the women just lie down unable to communicate what pleasures them but come here to blame men for everything. You want your husband to perform a certain sexual or romantic act but can't communicate, just lie there docile

Bubblewitch:
Sometimes the men just come, do 2minutes romance and then sex... this makes sex uninteresting. I want Sex to involve exploring, the pre-intimacy matters a lot but some husband just kiss the breast small, then start fingering and then sex with the absence of a cuddle after the deed, begins to look like a routine and the woman suddenly gets tired of it.

A married man needs to have sex 2-3 times per week else a single guy or baby papa has advantage over him that has a woman at home. How much sex a month do you think bachelors have? Why should a married man be shortchanged, you shouldn't beg for sex else get another woman to support her

Hotguy27:
Women still love sex after marriage but you must know that when the children are already there, you have to approach her for sex with utmost calculation. Unlike, when you were both dating and possibly no children, married women who have children are preoccupied with a lot of home chores that rarely allow them think about sex.

For such women to enjoy sex, please reduce the frequency of love making to 2 or 3 in a month. If you want her to continue to enjoy sex as if she just met you, then try once in a month and possibly during her ovulation but you have to be careful otherwise she would take in

Women think sex is not food that's why they downplay it. But offer any man sex or food and see the one he'll choose

CalliDora1:

Na food?

On a more serious note though, I think what usually causes it is, the woman is most times overwhelmed with the wifely duties at the homefront. in the process she's expended therefore sex will be the last thing on her mind as the passion for it will have died from exaustion from doing chores. If you observed, it usually happens after the kids have started coming and the workload has increased.

If the man can make arrangements for a house help ( not necessarily a live-in help) to assist with the chores, the woman will be more relaxed to reason sex as it's only a relaxed mind that can get a woman in the mood .

Borrow money for SW and NW but expect SS/SE to repay the loan! Nature does not abhor vacuum, una eyes go clear in the fullness of time

Why are many women supporting paternity fraud?

sapphiere:
Facts is, most of these illegitimate kids turnout to be the pillars of the family.

Then DNA test would also prove the mother is not the one that birthed the child so they hold the hospital responsible.

You think say you wise. Paternity fraud sympathizer and potential culprit!

obembet:
I read a story of a nurse who use to change the child for one of government hospital. Are we going to blame wife for that too?


U guys need to think deeply... Many of u need to find out the atrocities that is going on in those big hospitals.


Help me shout amen to that lady prayer

It will serve as a deterrent to future bosses who may want to follow this part. Stop celebrating evil

Dchampion65:
Even if they jail him, it will never bring back Tunde.

But if dem kidnap this slow poke na, he would want ransom to be paid to free him. Instead telling truth to power, he is here yarning opata

Seems you support paternity fraud. The fact that women have no way of hiding it means by nature they are not supposed to be sleeping with various men and mixing paternity. You end up damaging the kids when they find out.

But don't worry, very soon China will make a portable device cheaper than mobile phone that will be able to perform paternity or DNA test. Paternity fraud is in its last days!

Shortyy:
I'm telling you, sis, forget this their crying. They hate being played lmao. They'd prefer to be the players and the manipulators.

Once you pinch them small, they'd start weeping allover. Bunch of emotional pricks.