DonOms's Posts
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 Family › Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by DonOms(m): 8:22am On Sep 04, 2016 |
Wingback:  Well-informed man... Oya, clap for yourself, guru.First, don't make Dr. Carl Jung wake up from his grave only to shout "LOL." Secondly, don't make the higher percentage of Silicon Valley CEO's pause their jobs only to give you that shocking look asking, "where are you from?" While sarcasm seems the only logical reply I could use, seriously, you are very very incorrect. I'll love it if you can go online and read about introversion. People have always judged introverts wrongly (hence we hardly take offence) but it'll do you more good to be informed. It's the 21st century, init? 2 Likes |
| Foreign Affairs › Re: Ubi Caritas Et Amor, Deus Ibi Est by DonOms(m): 10:26pm On Aug 30, 2016 |
Hey... I just read your diary again (can't remember where I'd stopped last year) and I'm happy for you. Particularly the recent update about your marriage and family. Thank God you didn't give up on Him and on life. Despite having reasons to tread paths of careless drift, you abandoned your life to God and trusted Him. God will continue to uplift you and make you an instrument of praise and testimony in Jesus' name; Amen. Remain Blessed. 1 Like |
| Family › Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by DonOms(m): 5:30pm On Aug 30, 2016 |
Hello all, I trust we all have been well. I've not been here for some time and anytime that happens, I read every single page I've missed. I just did. I've noticed many of us still find some things mixed up and it's barely our faults because the extrovert-saturated world we live in confuse us and sell us that idea that we're weird when in fact, we're a unique and awesome bunch. Anyway, there's this short but interesting read a friend shared with me last week. http://verilymag.com/2016/08/introverts-quiet-extroverts-fomo-confidence ...and you'll love that FOMO term. I really encourage everyone to try the Introvert Challenges by @Olarewajub. I've been using "the power of sharing personal stories" for about half a decade now and I can tell you it's awesome. It helps you to redefine your shell, make others feel more comfortable around your quietness and has this awesome effect of making you less hard on yourself. 2 Likes |
| Family › Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by DonOms(m): 1:20am On Aug 03, 2016 |
Olarewajub:Great one here. I'm just reading the post as I've been away for work. The article is well structured. Quite detailed too. One thing you could add to 'preparation' is that it actually helps to increase confidence. When a speaker is well prepared, he/she literally increases confidence through mastery of the topic. Confidence indirectly helps to overcome shyness and/or panics and fear. 1 Like |
| Christianity Etc › Re: 10 Quotes Of Pastor Adeboye That Trended On Social Media by DonOms(m): 12:34am On Aug 03, 2016 |
aiksneffects:The word church in that point 7 is most likely church as a body of Christ which includes all denominations. Reason: 1, The command 'Do Not...' supports 2nd Corinthians 6:17 and it will only agree if "church" means believers. 2, Contextually, it's logical since the other part of the statement reads "and you have no reason to marry outside RCCG." He should have used "church" instead of RCCG. I should point out this statement is more of an opinion than a command. I personally believe there could be plenty reasons to not marry in RCCG if one belongs to RCCG. I am neither saying this to defend Pastor Adeboye nor oppose you but to make that point 7 clearer. |
| Family › Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by DonOms(m): 9:51am On Jul 03, 2016 |
Olarewajub:Wow! That's rather sad. Hopefully it will be restored soon. I'm sure many a people will be benefiting from the tips. 1 Like |
| Family › Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by DonOms(m): 9:49am On Jul 03, 2016 |
luckylizzy:Introverts enjoy (and crave) the company of the self. So even though the innate instinct to 'mingle' and 'have personal close relationships' kick in, we are soon back to our default and hence running away from others eventually. But introverts too need friends. So we must learn to carefully pick a few trusted ones who will also understand us and allow us retreat into our shells when we want. And if it's a romantic relationship, God help that other fellow to not be co-dependent else.... Frustration. But we must learn to be considerate in our friendships. I've had a couple of failed friendships where the other parties got frustrated about me. One minute I'm super kind and going out of my way to help them, the next minute I'm turning down lunch or movies or hugs. It freaks them out but I can hardly help it. So for an introvert, it's just the way it is. 3 Likes 1 Share |
| Family › Re: We Always Hear The Rules From The Female's Side,now Is The Males Turn. by DonOms(m): 6:48pm On Jun 24, 2016 |
Hilarious, I know. But let's be frank, there would be less 'issues' were these rules applicable in relationships  |
| Family › Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by DonOms(m): 1:25pm On Jun 24, 2016 |
jacy67:Because you know the effect words can have, you have to learn self-control. Don't be overly emotional in an argument/confrontation and try to think well before you speak. Train yourself to say things you're sure not to regret. Don't be intimidated by others who speak too much words. The fewer, the better, trust me. Saying NO is sometimes very difficult but you must learn it gradually. And more importantly, learn to stand by your decision as this will eliminate your after-effect fear/remorse. Trust me, it gets better over time so you need to just start first. 2 Likes |
| Family › Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by DonOms(m): 7:21am On Jun 24, 2016 |
WriteBoy:You MAY as well NOT die alone.  Being introvert is honestly not as bad as this extrovert-favoured world make it seem. You only need to learn. Friendship may not be so easy for us but making acquaintances isn't rocket science. You have school mates, colleagues, neighbours e.t.c. That's how it starts. You can't make friends of complete strangers anyway..lol. So when next you see that neighbour, ask about their day instead of just saying "good morning" and running off. Ask that classmate or colleague about work-related stuff and when it is lunch time, don't sit alone but join an acquaintance who may not mind to share a table. The opportunities to make friends are always there so just pay attention. When you keep doing things like this, you'll realize how easier it gets. And stop feeling intimidated by extroverts who have gazillion so-called friends. Introverts always have few. So there's no rush .Fear (as well as shyness) is perhaps the commonest problem associated with introverts. And it's probably because we think too much. While an extrovert approaches a stranger and chats without caution, an introvert had first thought of 101 reasons why the stranger WILL reject her/him or be mean to him/her. It's natural to crave companionship - it's a basic instinct, very innate - despite liking your own company best. The way to go is to start small by doing an extra talk with that acquaintance, returning that phone call, taking a stroll sometimes and not minding to chat with that 'aboki' in his small stall while you buy candy or greeting that person who lives on your street. It's mostly a world of extroverts but because we rule it, we can try to overcome that fear and feel at "home" sometimes.  1 Like 1 Share |
| Family › Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by DonOms(m): 6:40am On Jun 24, 2016 |
jacy67:There is strength in this supposed weakness of yours, you just have to capitalize on it. There is a chance the reason you 'shut down' during a confrontation might be an effect of dopamine rush in your brain. And I'm guessing in severe cases, you have mild panic attacks. You can try these, when confronted, secretly take a couple of deep breaths (it will counter the 'shut down' effect and allow you think)and as fast as possible, think of a laconic response while listening. Then once the person has finished talking, tell them your short response and leave it at that. Those who don't have this problem we have hide under their ability to just talk on and on and they make us feel guilty in the process hence the reason you try to avoid the situation/persons involved. You need to know that the onus is always on you to say your side of the story whether it is believed or not. So begin to learn to address issues with brief responses and then you will build up to having the perfect answers for people. You need to also accept some people are unreasonable (unlike you) and won't listen so teach yourself to let go with ease. Many people make decisions based on public opinions. YOU HAVE TO STOP IT. And you can only do so by thinking for yourself and stand by your thought/decision unless there is a strong reason to shift ground. You have so much residual thinking power as an introvert so you need to tap into it. People will ALWAYS have different opinions of you anyway. The sooner you accept that fact, the sooner you're not affected by it. As for friends, introverts always have few friends and hardly make new ones. And it's tougher as a female. Best thing is to let your guard down sometimes (based on instincts) and go with the flow of making friends with like-minded people when the opportunity knocks.In summary, no one gets transformed overnight. Just little steps in the right direction is all. "Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better." - Samuel Beckett 3 Likes |
| Family › Re: I'm Feeling Bad Because I Forgot To Help Someone. Will Nature Forgive Me? by DonOms(m): 10:34pm On Jun 22, 2016 |
It happens! And truth is it will still happen again sometime. The fact that you genuinely forgot and remain truly empathetic and remorseful means nature will not hold it against you and neither will God, I believe. Consider the possibility that nature designed it that someone else will help her and not you. Or perhaps she is supposed to not get your money to commute at that time so as to avoid a potential danger ahead of her. There are a thousand and one possible scenarios and you just have to believe (and accept) since it's past, there is nothing to do than to let it go. Peace! 1 Like |
| Family › Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by DonOms(m): 10:14pm On Jun 22, 2016 |
Quintee: Quintee:I completely understand why you think you need to change and why you think it's not ideal to be too considerate in a mean world. However, you don't exactly have to change. If you change, it will mean you can't beat them so you joined them. Why not just remain who you are anyway...trust me, they know you're not foolish and they respect you for your virtue (especially because it's rare) My advice: Be very observant. And just be yourself. If you notice anyone trying to take advantage of your being overly considerate, you MUST use the opportunity to say 'NO' to some demands that are uncomfortable and especially if you feel you're being used. People who will love you for you and not 'use' you will walk into your life and value you. If you change now, you may miss these wonderful people. 4 Likes |
| Family › Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by DonOms(m): 12:07pm On Jun 22, 2016 |
organism3:Hi @Organism3! You have made a good decision to refrain from disrespecting her. If you do confront her, apart from the fact that it won't help matters, she'll have more to talk about as 'rude' and 'disrespectful' will be added to whatever she says about you. The best thing to do is to keep calm and occasionally in very subtle ways, make it known to whoever cares to listen that those qualities of yours are a part of who you are. It may take time, but she will come to terms with it when she realises her talk couldn't change anything. People naturally don't celebrate 'difference,' until they are left with no choice. So be the best you can be and in no time, you'll see her stop the gossip and complaints. If it will make you feel better, my mom used to complain too but after a long while, when she realised I was who I was and her complaints were not bringing her desired results, she stopped complaining. 2 Likes |
| Family › Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by DonOms(m): 11:58am On Jun 22, 2016 |
zlatan10:Not all introverts. Some few do celebrate it like extroverts do. But for people very much close to the end of introversion on the introversion-extroversion continuum, they don't enjoy celebrating it - and if they do, not with a crowd. I don't celebrate my birthdays and it's not known to too many people. 3 Likes |
| Politics › Re: The Weapon Of Mass Obstruction By Wole Soyinka by DonOms(m): 11:49am On Jun 22, 2016 |
gensteejay:I completely agree with you. The worst of this developing culture is the joy with which it is celebrated and encouraged. |
| Politics › Re: The Weapon Of Mass Obstruction By Wole Soyinka by DonOms(m): 1:19am On Jun 22, 2016 |
I am moved to make a comment about some people's comment on this post because it is alarming enough that most of us are becoming too lazy to read, but to not dine with reason and think? That's worse. Firstly, Wole Soyinka has not written "complex English," as someone said. I agree his lexicon is well above the average and which many of us are unfamiliar, but shouldn't it be an opportunity to add to our vocabulary and get a better grasp of the use of English? His writing isn't comic relief. Also, another stressed the need for Soyinka to attend to more pressing national issues and drop any interest whatsoever in making a book out of the uncouth behaviour of camera-armed invaders. National issues are of concern to the entire citizenry so why should Soyinka be censured when you and I are as guilty? And by the way, our social reputation is as important as our economic so the issue discussed is pertinent to "current national issues" I'd say. Finally, it's an article! Not some comment on a blog. Why do we have to complain about its length? I'm no defender of Soyinka, but I can't help but speak up when I see fellow youths talk about matters that need not be raised, whether it's a faceless forum or not. Because I won't be able to reply anyone who may be finger-eager to quote me so as to insult me on a faceless forum or ask why I had to resort to my "own epistle" within Soyinka's epistle, I'll use the exact quote from the article which @Truth234 earlier employed: "It must also be stressed - that same society is the prime facilitator of its doom. There are times when tolerance becomes acceptance, then tacit and even overt encouragement." Man, think! 6 Likes |
| Family › Re: I Am Beginning To Hate My Mother!!! by DonOms(m): 7:56am On Jun 14, 2016 |
@OP: Firstly, your parens don't hate you. You just have a different understanding from theirs and none of them discussed their reality with you but acted it out, hence your confusion. And majority of those who gave you 'tough' advice up here don't hate you either, they have just told you the truth in a harsh tone. I don't believe you're lazy. You haven't just started to come to terms with the "survival of the fittest" race you automatically signed up for upon graduation. So here's what you must do: 1) Stop hating your mom. Show her love because it's a privilege you have a mother under whose roof you live and eat. 2) Convert your hate (towards your mother) into passion for what you have interest in and to learn a skill (or get a temp job) that can fetch monetary gains. This will help you a lot as you go for service in the coming months and even beyond. 3) DO NOT EXPECT HELP FROM ANYONE. Don't get me wrong. You can accept help, but never expect it's someone's job to give it. This will give you a sense of responsibility that will give you the edge you need in this competitive world of ours. Don't leave home now. NYSC will evict you anyway. Just get busy in your current environment and make yourself relevant. Things will get tougher for you from now but see it as a learning process and make the best of it. The best advice for you isn't 'grow up,' it is 'rise up.' 9 Likes 1 Share |
| Family › Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by DonOms(m): 12:54pm On Jun 13, 2016 |
Hello All, I have read some posts in the last few pages and I am stirred to say a few things about introversion. I'm an introvert myself, a typical one. But I do well with public speaking although I don't like the crowd itself. I can communicate well with people too, but I'd rather not except it's necessary. But... I wasn't like that as a teenager. Now to my point, being an introvert, ipso facto isn't a bad thing. It's only a class on its own. If you can isolate shyness from introversion by learning to overcome your shyness through public speaking, overcoming fear and worry (which I see as the core of problems Introverts have), and most importantly 'letting go' of mistakes as easily as reciting ABC, then you'll do socially fine as an introvert. Like the gentleman who writes good English but believes he doesn't speak it well, has no other problem but Fear and Worry. If you can tell yourself repeatedly (and use helpful resources like books) that your mistakes don't define you as long as you improve on yourself, then it is only a matter of time before you see yourself as an orator. And finally, when you interact with strangers, think of them as your friend and family and communicate with them so; you'll find out how easy it is to make eye contact and communicate. Pardon the long story... I'm a prolific writer and hardly know when to stop. 10 Likes 1 Share |
| Phones › Re: Telecoms Operators Seek Four Week Grace Before Deactivating Defective Sims by DonOms(m): 9:55am On Mar 01, 2016 |
MadCow1:Same is happening to me. It's really annoying and it's evident that these people take us for fools. |
| Romance › Re: 10 things that turn real men off in a lady at first glance. by DonOms(m): 9:25pm On Dec 23, 2015 |
Toks2008:I don't know the definition of a real guy but I agree with you 100%. |
| Family › Re: The Secret Behind Glass Tumbler And Hot Water by DonOms(m): 2:15pm On Aug 04, 2015 |
The hot water poured into a glass cup makes heat transfer into the thickness of the glass (and tend to expand the glass molecules). The outside of the glass remains relatively cold to the inside. If the heat difference is large enough, it creates a pressure on the glass that cracks/breaks it. The metal spoon simply transfers the heat from the water to itself by conduction thereby lowering the heat in the water. This in turn reduce the pressure due to lower heat difference and glass doesn't break. 6 Likes |
| Christianity Etc › Re: Shading And Marking Out Bible Verse For Remembrance. Right Or Wrong + Pix by DonOms(m): 6:06pm On Jun 14, 2015 |
As a baby Christian, I refrained from underlining texts from my bible. But I do now. What changed? "Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee." Ps 119:11 (KJV) The relevance of the Word of God is the capacity to have it in our hearts and live by it. Jesus quoted the scriptures to overcome Satan's temptation to make Him fall but He didn't have a scroll in hand. What mattered was God's Word in His heart. While the physical source of the Word should be taken care of, it is not wrong to neatly mark it for proper referencing. If you mark everything, buy another bible and start over. However, if you think it wrong, don't mark it for "if you do anything you believe is not right, you are sinning." Rom 14:23b (NLT) God Bless You. |
| Art, Graphics & Video › Re: A Nairaland Artist Gets Recognised By National Mirror Newspaper by DonOms(m): 10:50pm On Apr 23, 2015 |
Congratulations Centje! He designed the poster for my poem during the Nairaland Poetry Competition and that was when I knew he was a doctor as well. Keep it up bro! You are an epitome of greatness. 3 Likes |
| Travel › Re: Uk Student Visa/tier 4 Pbs - Your Questions Answered Part2 by DonOms(m): 11:11pm On Mar 24, 2015 |
Dongreat:Okay. I raised the question earlier because you gave Oga Justwise the impression you are a recipient of a scholarship award. As long as you don't have the scholarship yet, you will be classified as Self-funding and liable to pay the required deposit. If you have the time, you could wait for your scholarship application outcome before you go ahead with visa application else you'll need all the required money for a self-funded applicant. Please take note. |
| Travel › Re: Uk Student Visa/tier 4 Pbs - Your Questions Answered Part2 by DonOms(m): 10:51pm On Mar 23, 2015 |
Dongreat:Although I know Oga Justwise has answered you but I couldn't help but notice you mentioned YOU'RE "applying for NDDC Scholarship." Does it mean you've not received the scholarship yet? |
| Travel › Re: Uk Student Visa/tier 4 Pbs - Your Questions Answered Part2 by DonOms(m): 10:49pm On Mar 23, 2015 |
SophiaKent:I would suggest you wait. If you applied in Lagos, I takes a day or two before Teleperformance updates you of your application. |
| Travel › Re: Uk Student Visa/tier 4 Pbs - Your Questions Answered Part2 by DonOms(m): 2:01am On Feb 13, 2015 |
samzoe:It is a fact that all Lagos applications are sent to Abuja for processing so it is true to say that Abuja Applications will appear slightly faster (average of 2-3 days difference perhaps) even though other factors such as volume of applications per time and personal verification times may determine period of application. Besides that, NO Special Consideration is given to Applicants based on city of application. |
| Travel › Re: Uk Student Visa/tier 4 Pbs - Your Questions Answered Part2 by DonOms(m): 11:04pm On Jan 14, 2015 |
walexy5050:The only prayer is that you should be called to produce the original documents. However, you may want to attempt calling them just in case they have any suggestion for you. |
| Travel › Re: Uk Student Visa/tier 4 Pbs - Your Questions Answered Part2 by DonOms(m): 10:49pm On Jan 14, 2015 |
ucheliali:Congratulations! I live in Newcastle for now. Just in case you need any tips or help, you can message me and I'll be glad to help. |
| Travel › Re: Uk Student Visa/tier 4 Pbs - Your Questions Answered Part2 by DonOms(m): 11:00pm On Dec 14, 2014 |
4mula22:Besides the cookie-clearing answer (which I believe works too), your ability to pay will be restored after a few hours anyway. So in case you cleared cookie and it didn't work, just logout and login after 2 -3 hours and you'll be good to go. |
| Travel › Re: Uk Student Visa/tier 4 Pbs - Your Questions Answered Part2 by DonOms(m): 3:07pm On Nov 26, 2014 |
honourableseyi:https://drive.google.com/open?id=0B6YEk-fAzkTwVXQwcVAtQXlCcTg&authuser=0 https://drive.google.com/open?id=0B6YEk-fAzkTwTmFtaGctZkxnYm8&authuser=0 |
