₦airaland Forum

Scary stuff (((shivers)))

Acidosis:
So receiving some of the stolen goods is enough reason to avoid preaching and warning others? nawao

If you accept stolen goods from a thief, you're no better than the thief and you definitely do not have the right to judge the thief knowing fully well your acceptance of the ill-gotten goods only encouraged the thief to keep on stealing. On your behalf.

Acidosis:
I don't believe anyone can steal goods solely on my behalf. However, if I receive SOME of the proceeds of their actions (ignorantly or in tough times), I would be forever grateful. I could also share in some of the consequences when the robber gets caught.

[s]As a matter of fact, that would serve as a lesson for me and for anyone that cares to listen.


I understand the ethical perspectives some posters have tried to raise. Oh yell! Our parents always say they're working to feed US. Some will say: they're working for their Children. It is a proper thing to say 'ethically', especially for parents who out of working for their children have bought 2, 3, exotic cars for themselves. Even parents who wants to build their career and increase their status in community can as well say they're working for their children. Who wouldn't say that, especially after enrolling their wards in expensive private school.

We can continue to pretend and shy away from the truth we all know...and scared to say. The truth remains that (i) OP, in my own understandings, has good intentions; (ii) He/She would be forever grateful to her sister because she cared in a difficult time; (iii) If the ailment has anything to do with the nature of her job, it is psychologically improper to say she contracted HIV for the sake of her family.[/s]

So you wouldn't say "no". You'll accept them while adopting the moral high ground.

You're a hypocrite, Acidosis and no different from @op.

midolian:
Abeegi! What else will she spend her salary on if not herself and her family? Both husband and wife shld spend on their family. Its not a must for a man to do this alone.

Should she be spending on someone whose having affairs and desecrating his marriage? Would you spend money on your wife if she's sleeping around? If not, why not??

lisa5:
He works but I just felt I was helping him out and my own way of showing my loyalty and love. What a fool I have been,feeling so used and ashamed and disgusted at him.

Slow down dear.

You've been married for barely a year. If anything you both should be in your honeymoon phase. But first of all, why do you feel used and ashamed?

lisa5:
Hmmmmm. Where do I start from? Just a year into marriage and my husband can't find succour in me asking for nudes from his girlfriend,telling her I love you,calling her baby,gisting about my own child. He's become so mean towards me wiith a 2month old baby I use my salary on the family. This is not how to pay me back. Am thinking o a divorce after having another child because he disgusts me now. I really need everyone's advice. Please help and push to homepage mods thanks and God bless.

Why do you spend your salary on the family? Doesn't he work?

edwife:
Job ... It's a new one and they want to finish me.

Ah! That's good na. Congratulations!

Welcome to the wonderful world of mummyhood, career, woman, agony aunt et al a.k.a frazzled mum

Acidosis:
No robber will rob for my sake.

We may have to include psychology as one of elementary subjects in our primary schools.

That wasn't what I asked you.

I repeat: will you accept the proceeds of stolen goods stolen on your behalf? A simple "yes" or "no" will suffice.

Thanks.

edwife:
Busy...

I thought you finished last summer?

Acidosis:
I've talked about that earlier.

Nobody will pick up guns to rob for my sake. It is either the person loves robbery or needs the resources of innocent persons. When he or she chooses to share the loots with me, it still doesn't mean the robbery was done for my sake.


I don't think I have to explain more than I've done already, and the good thing is, everyone must not agree with me. As for the OP, the lessons in his/her post have been well noted. The level of insults melted on him/her is absolutely unnecessary.

And if the robber who robbed for your sake offers to share their stolen proceeds with you, will you say, "No"?

chillis1:

Typical!

What happened to your Chillisauce handle?

edwife:

Where have you been??

OldBeer:
@Efemena_Xy, I appreciate your suggestion. Will have to pass on it though. My dad has been complaining that I look like a skeleton, thanks to the rigors of school. I doubt he would allow me go join the army.

Contrary to what you think, exercising helps build muscle mass, makes you physically stronger and fitter.

But you're missing the point. My suggestion was: enrol in the army so they instil self-discipline in you. Besides like you said, you're done with school and waiting to go on your NYSC. So you're an adult now. You don't need your father to hold your hands. It's time for you to act like an adult and take independent, life-changing adult decisions on your own.

Acidosis:
Grow up like everyone else to insult OP?


I've read his posts severally and I couldn't find a single fault. Sorry, we have different views about issues.

Oh?

So what was this about?

Acidosis:
I will share in your view if OP can attend to my queries:
- does your sister purchased a car, fine and expensive jewelry, a house, or at least a well furnished apartment for HERSELF?

Care to explain the bolded part of your sentence?

ElsonMorali:
I beg to disagree with this.

The fact that the op specifically pointed out that her sister has HIV and didn't bother to mention whether she has a job or whether she is married gives room for speculations and conclusions.

Besides, from her story and the heading, she made a cautionary example out of her sister, like saying she did bad things to take care of us because she didn't know her limit.

An ingrate if you ask me.

Who is the ingrate? @op or his sister?

OldBeer:
I will apologize.
But please which army are you referring to?

The Nigerian army (if you're based in Nigeria).

Yenne:
Yes,i do. But that's for people with income. where will I get 10k every month?

It doesn't have to be 10k. It could be lower. 5k? 1k? N500? It all depends on what you can realistically afford.

OldBeer:
Thank you so much tearoses and mindfulness.
Just yesterday I got into a huge spat with my aunt and mocked her unmarried status.
She in turn cursed me dat I will never marry in this life and I have been so scared.
Everyone is telling me to apologize her even though she is wrong but I don't even know where to start from.
Will the curse work?

Seriously, you were bang out of order!

What's wrong with you? Does you mouth work faster than your brain? Or do you simply lack self-respect coupled with your anger issues?

We spend a lot of time on here trying to raise the badly bruised self-esteem of the unmarried single ladies facing judgemental criticisms from society made up of people like you. What you said to her was myopic and uncalled for and you deserved that response. Why're you scared now?

Go back and sincerely apologise to your aunt. Having done that, look to enrol in the army. You desperately deserve to learn self-control and discipline.

Don't ever feel compelled to make life changing decisions based on someone's say so. Marriage is a HUGE commitment and if you choose to go into it, do so - only because you want to, and not because of what your mother, friends, or society thinks.

Mindfulness:
Then he is a mumu of the highest mumuish order and immature on top of that. Why marry, why have children if you do not love the person?
And if you fall out of love, why take it out on the other person, the mother of your child?

People need to learn to take responsibility for their feelings instead of blaming others for the way they feel. Mumuish mumus.

The urge to procreate might transcend normal reasoning, perhaps?

Who knows?

Mindfulness:
Maybe he does it to her because he can. Even choleric personalities can control themselves if lashing out has severe consequences (job loss, broken nose etc). I am not saying I know that he is a choleric, I only have the impression that he may be.

I mean, come on, he is even yelling in the church. Even if you hate your spouse, you will respect yourself in the church and control your anger in this place.

Lol @ broken nose / church.

Oh well, maybe he doesn't love her/ never really did and it's got to the point he can't stand her presence without experiencing the uncontrollable urge to scream at her.

@op, sorry o!

Mindfulness:
Harshiyer12

You are British Indian, homose.xual and you have come to an African / Nigerian forum to seek advice on your homos.exual, abusive relationship with your cousin?

Do you want more abuses?

Boy! What is wrong with you?

Of all these forums online, you have chosen this one to find solutions?



I do not know what to tell you other than that your subconscious mind for some reason is out for more abuse.

Lol! Makes you wonder what @op's real intentions are

Sickening story.

^^ I don't dispute that, but let's look at this from another angle.

If she isn't anywhere by him, would he curse, shout, and yell in public?

So what is it about her presence that makes him compelled to scream obscenities at her ALWAYS?

Mindfulness:
The husband might be the choleric type. These people are crazy. I have an uncle like this. I remember my cousin spilling a few drops of milk and he would go off shouting. You never knew when it would happen again, you just knew that it would and it was best for you to run and hide because whether you were innocent or not, did not really matter. He would shout and curse and it looked like his head would explode. And it could all happen suddenly and for ridiculous reasons. Sometimes he would provoke it as to let off some steam that he did not knew how else to.

Yes, but she claims it's a recent development. Now that, I find hard to believe if her husband is as you described your uncle - meaning she knew he had this trait but chose to ignore it for reasons best known to her.

If that isn't the case and she really is sincere with her write up, then she needs to find out what's triggering this "new" development of his.

byvan03:
Please Help I Am Tempted To Cheat On Her. - Family - Nigeria
https://www.nairaland.com/3457629/please-tempted-cheat. EfemenaXY.

Mtcheew.

What an annoying read. Thanks jor.

Yenne:
Please, can you enlighten me more on this?

Sure.

It's a group formed of a few women say 10 (Ngozi, Abiola, Ekeatte, Halima, Ese, etc), in number (it could be more or less). They decide on a fixed amount on a set day, every month to contribute, say for example 10,000 Naira each.

So 10 women, each contributing N10,000 each.

In January, the total contribution of N100,000 is given to Mrs Ngozi.

In February, N100,000 is collected and given to the 2^nd woman in line - Mrs Abiola

March - Mrs Ekeatte (N100,000)

April - Mrs Halima, etc

So when it's your turn, you collect your N100,000

However, for this to work, sincerity and trust is needed amongst the contributors.

D'you get me now?

thewife306:
What self assessment? Dat you cannot caution your spouse in private except when you're outside. or in the presence of other people.

Madam, stop getting defensive and answer the question I asked you. What do you do to get him so riled up? What exactly does he keep cautioning you over to the point where he feels shouting at you in public is the only way you get his message??

That's what I meant by saying you need to do a self-assessment on yourself.

Mindfulness:
Unbelievable, isn't it?

So some of them will come after a woman who successfully pulled her family through, out of jealousy for what she has achieved, even if she has HIV?

Unbelievable! But I have seen it with my own eyes.


Anyway.

Happy Sunday to you my dear!

I know. You meet / read all kinds of outrageous stuff from weirdly wired folks only on Nland.

Happy Sunday to you too darling.

I'm off scalp hunting. Join me

@op. Why not form or join an Osusu group?

This works for people on very low to zero income who have no access to credit facilities.

byvan03:
Nooo, another thread crossed over to this one.

Ah! Okay.

Abeg post the link lemme read up.

Howdy babes? Happy Sunday

The story is incomplete.

Fine looking woman sha.

byvan03:
You dey mine them? Such men are better of marrying their kind but they will never do that. They seek out a meek ,inexperienced woman, then embark on the journey to either Convert her to a Por*n star or kill her with STD. One must happened for mission to be accomplished.

Rough past?

I didn't read that. Seems the original post has been amended.