₦airaland Forum

kilode100:
Only read a few lines. You think women don't like fantasies and hotter guys? You write up is crap.

You think we don't compare your pockets with other men? All these broke ass men going to Ashawo joints thinking they are living out their fantasies fantasies are jokers and losers...

When you buy dream car that might be a 2001 scrap, and Dangotel is thinking of replacing his private jet, we think you are a dickhead.. Go ahead and live your fantasies in between Ashawo's pussiess whole the real men that will bang your wives to pure pleasure are breaking new grounds and actually living the real dream...


See epistle and to think that it's a little fuckkk boy that might be behind the handle sef

Lmao!!

You're sooooooooo cynical

This story is very one sided.

@op you say he shouts at you in public and it's becoming a frequent occurrence. What triggers this?

You need to get to the root of the problem and sort it out from there, rather than trying to treat the symptoms.

Unpleasant as this may sound, you might need to do a self assessment of yourself.

And this is why I say your write up is one sided. I'm quite certain your husband would have a very different version of events to what you're telling us.

@op there's no need for the long tales.

Fact is, you went into the marriage with your eyes wide open, knowing fully well you were getting hitched to a serial jailbird.

I won't judge you for your choice. Different strokes for different folks but you need to stop playing the victim and take full responsibility for your actions. Stop playing both parents against each other. Your husband is right. You're creating friction between both parties and you know it.

Now since you claim to love him despite the path he's chosen for himself, then you need to sit up. Take your daughter with you and go visit him in jail and smooth things out between yourselves.

Explain your reasons for going back to your parents' to live and that it's only temporary until you get a job and save enough money to move out. Childcare in the developed countries is expensive and career limiting so you need both parents on board - and to do that, you need to smooth things over between them.

You've married into his family. You need to sit up and hold the forte in his absence.

njiasi30:
Toor, we re nt talking abt her HIV status, our point is dat d brother is ungrateful

True.

But Cococandy is also pointing out that @op's biased judgement of his sister's past actions are based on her HIV status.

Sex is not the only way to get HIV. She could have led a "clean" life and done things morally right and above board and still gotten it. One the other hand she could have lived her life the opposite way (prostitution, drugs, etc) and not gotten it. Afterall, does every Olosho out there have HIV?

@op's misplaced grouse is with her HIV status. People like him deserve to be held upside down and dunked into a bucket of shyte for his utterances.

Acidosis:
I will share in your view if OP can attend to my queries:

- does your sister purchased a car, fine and expensive jewelry, a house, or at least a well furnished apartment for HERSELF?

Why're you taking a dig at his sister?

What's your problem with her? You sound just as materialistic and myopic as the @op himself.

Just grow up, will you?

So how does this translate into the man being abducted when he obviously went to go stay with her out of his own free will?

Interesting (fictional) story.

Having said that, I find it near impossible to empathise with the woman in this story as she played a big (though) indirect part in what her family is currently going through.

She wasn't and still isn't a very smart person.

First of all, she and the husband come across as the live for today, let tomorrow take care of itself kind of couple. Life is never all rosy. There will always be rough patches. The couple lived life on the fast lane without a single thought for the "what ifs". No savings, no investments, no insurance coverage, and worse still, no back up plans in place - especially with the current recession taking its toll on the economy.

And quite unbelievably, they depended entirely on his salaried income. What stopped her from getting a job of her own, even if part-time? Mtcheew. She isn't nursing a baby. No, rather than get up and use her God given brain, she chose to sit at home all dolled up in pancake and horse weave while punching above their weight. Okay, so in keeping up with the Joneses, let them use their "connections" / upper class social circle of friends to get the husband a new job. She's lucky the husband only lost his job. What if he had died?How would this bimbo of a woman survive financially??

Three expensive holidays a year. Top private schools. Rented accommodation in the lushest, highbrow part of town. Etc, etc all about to disappear and all she can do is stroll round the garden scenting Queen Of The Night, and bursting into tears?? I love this blog.

Anyway, she should start by selling off all her jewellery (except her wedding ring), expensive wrappers / clothes, horse weaves, shoes, bags, accessories, etc. One pair of shoes and a handbag is all she needs.

Oga should sell off all their cars and downgrade to a single, cheap car. He too should sell off his expensive gaming equipment, multiple electronic gadgets, iPads, iPhones, laptops, etc and retain just one item. He should keep some decent suits for job interviews though.

Expensive furniture should go except the basics. No more eating out at all. They should stick to local foods.

The money generated from selling off their "nice to haves", "could haves" and "should haves" will be enough th sort out their feeding for the time being and kick start a business. They should immediately downsize their home. The money saved from that may just about keep their kids in school for another year.

Madam should get off her arsè and start job hunting fervently.

Damiso

I'm in tears. Still am as I type.

Just finished watching Damilola, Our Loved Boy on BBC iPlayer.

I know it's old news but his story still gets me. Cried from start to finish. So painful...

Sigh. Good night sis.

I'm sorry I don't get you.

She's a law graduate and has served. So what's stopping her from practicing her profession? Does she need her legs or her brain to achieve this?

pxjosh:
I am a young guy, in my early 20s. I'm still a student. I want to make the best decisions such that when I look back, maybe some 50years or more after, I'd be proud that I've made the best decisions.
Matured folks in the house, what are the common mistakes young people make that could ruin their life forever? I'd like a discussion on this.

Unprotected sex, recreational drugs, and greed for quick, easy money.

YOLO1:
Even though am from a below average family (economy wise), one of the lessons my parents instilled in us is contemptment.
There is this lady that I have been dating for over 2 years now. No doubt, we are really inlove with each other. Never knew she is from a wealthy background till we started ddating. Even with my financial constraints, I still try to be the man in our relationship by taking her out and buying her gifts from the funds I gather while hustling. She has also opted to help me out at most of my financial crisis, some of which I accepted, most I rejected.
Now to the main story. She introduced me to her parents during our convocation last year. They were very happy to see me. We exchanged contacts and we have been communicating since then. Her mum told me several times during our communications that she would love that I serve in Lagos (Batch A, 2016) and as that I should send her my Call up number so that they will help me influence it to Lagos. Even though I had the intention of serving in Lagos cos of the opportunities their, I didn't oblige to her request. As God will have it, I got posted to Lagos without influencing anything.
Few days to we resuming to camp, I arrived Lagos. I put off with one of my friends who resides in Lagos. My girlfriend called me that she would love me to come and visit her parents and siblings, was reluctant at first but had to oblige just to satisfy her. Went with my friend and the reception was so nice.
The following day, I received loads of gift items (provisions and groceries) from her family for me to take to camp. Felt embarrassed at first but had to collect it cos it will be insultive for me to tell them to take it back.
Fast-forward to after camp, was posted to a firm in VI as my PPA. Tried to get an accommodation around but couldn't afford all the houses I saw. Again, her family came in by giving me a self-contained room (BQ) in one of her Dad's properties in Ikoyi.
Sincerely, all these gestures have been bothering my mind as to whether to stop or continue receiving future gifts and gestures.
Won't these gifts from her parents affect my relationship with her?
Will she still be submissive if we eventually get married and not taking vain glory that it's cos of her family (She is very humble and always keep low profile. She hasn't behaved in any rude way or manner since we started dating)
What will her siblings and friends think about me? Won't they see me as a gold-digger?
What will happen, if finally we breakup and didn't get to marry?
Please would like to know ur sincere advice on this issue..... A brotherly advice I ask for.

Well... you are punching above your weight with that one.

Why don't you lower your expectations and date girls from the same social class and circle as yours? That way your manhood won't feel threatened with thoughts of non-submission?

Re: the bolder part of your post, you definitely do sound like a gold digger. Why else would you be worried about what happens to you (financially ) if you breakup with her??

No decent, self-respecting woman would take @op's request seriously.

But then again, decency and self-respect probably aren't high up on his list of priorities.

HIScraziness:
The babies are very cute!!


13years?? Wtf!!

No woman is barren, it just takes time!!

And why do you automatically assume the fault /delay was from the woman?

Unpleasant as this may sound, there is absolutely nothing you can do to him.

Yes, the lad in question by his actions is irresponsible but your niece is just as bad herself for trying to take her life. She needs more help and you'd best get her to see a psychiatrist.

If she insists on keeping the baby (assuming it's not going to have birth defects due to her sucide attempt), the young man can be chased up to provide maintenance to the baby after DNA proof that he is the father.

In the long run they are better off without each other. Toxic duo.

NickUwaifo:
Hmmmmm, that money needs to fall out ooo

And if it doesn't?

She must have discovered something really nasty about him.

Oh, wow!

Words fail me. @ op, I think getting the money back depends on the man's personality.

If he's a decent person with a conscience and a self respecting man who's genuinely hit hard times, he will pay off his debts albeit slowly.

Your retired dad must have (in his wisdom) seen something in your brother in law in the first place to loan him so much despite the recession.

What I don't like though is the secrecy. That sounds off alarm bells that he may be dodgy.

Cc: Ifyalways, Onegai, Sambarry.

He belongs to the zoo.

Anyway, he'll go down for a long time for assaulting them.

mysticgal:
^^^^MMotimo
You are wrong there.
A wife cannot accuse her husband of rape and stealing especially if they are married under the Christian marriage, which means they were married in court or the church, mind you, this does not apply to couple married only traditionally. And the law of rape would only apply when they are separated or divorced

No, she's right and you're wrong.

Go look up the definition of rapè. It doesn't give exceptions to marriage.

Beautiful, touching story.

Now these are the real people with real stories, that need real help. Not the opportunistic husband & wife / nursing "mothers" / ever always about to die browsing online scammers that flood the family section.

Cc: My darling ladies: Byvan03, Mindfulness, Cococandy, Sambarry, Amelian, Onegai, & Ifyalways.

SAMBARRY:


I thought I was the only one That felt that way

Nairaland misogynist and narcisstic tales is becoming very irritating

He's not married, yet his obsession with married women is something else.

The story of Sarah, the stûpîd woman.
Revised Edition 2016.

Where is my sagalicious Sagamite? I miss that dude.

Mindfulness:
You have done the research and the interviews. Why doesn't it feel good to document the work you have done? Focus on the end result and enjoy the process. Just get started but take a small step to get started. Once you are in the process, it will flow.

You have finished your education when yur kids were little. This should be a child's play for you.

Sigh

Will try. Goodnight love.

Mindfulness:
I wanted to tell you to meditate initially but most people don't listen to me so I have given up on telling them to.
Sit comfortably in an armchair or on your sofa and make sure nobody disturbs you. You can also do it outside in nature where it's quiet but considering this time of the year, it would be too cold when it has to be cosy and comfy. Set your alarm clock for 15 minutes, close your eyes and quiet your mind. It will wander off and that's normal. The moment you catch your mind thinking, you concentrate on your breathing again. You will feel refreshed afterwards and more peaceful. It's re-energizing. I do it every day. It has changed my life in a beautiful way.

Option 2:

Make a one-day plan. Decide on the minimum of what you want to get done. Anything else is an extra. Start small small. Huge amounts of worrk are overwhelming and dismotivating. But once you decide on the minimum and the time when you will start, you just start without allowing yourself to think of whether to start or not. You tell yourself. It's just a little I have to do and you do it. Once you get the flow going, it will be easier.

Create a nice atmosphere in the room you work. Get a nice cup of tea. Also remember what inspired you to do those things. Remembering the inspiration will help.

Thank you!

I definitely will try these out, especially the breathing technique ...hope it works for me.

Re: procrastinating, I do remember what motivated me in the first place oh! I've done my research, series of interviews, but compiling the report?

Bleerrrggghh.

Mindfulness:
You have a motivation problem but you know what they say? You have a motivation problem until you have a time problem.

All is well dear. I know where you at. I have been there many times.

Oh dear.

Gimme solutions.

Or better still, effective breathing techniques. I swear my Ying isn't in alliance with my Yang, thus the imbalance.

Mindfulness:
I remember a case of a famous woman who owns a multinational company. A man started to blackmail her. She took the case to the court and the media before he could do it. I swear, I loved it.

What was the outcome?

Mindfulness:


I swear someone told me they can be very fast. There are some crazy videos on youtube. Check it out.

Lol! Okay. Will have a look.

They live a peaceful life but don't let others live a peaceful life. Not cool Efe, not cool.

I know.

But it's either you harass or be harassed...

Why don't you relax?

I can't!!!

Things were going so well, I got bored and wanted a challenge. Now I've got looming deadlines and I'm still procrastinating!!!

You know that feeling of being trapped, knowing the right thing to do but feeling rooted to the spot like a deer caught in the middle of the highway with the full beam of a fast-approaching car on it, but yet it doesn't dash off to safety?

That's exactly how I feel. ***wails***

Mindfulness:
Greed or desperation.

Both. Plus a good dose of foolîshnêss.

Mindfulness:
Thought the same.

The thread title is misleading. That transgender knows what he/she will get in return from the young man feeling funky.

Mindfulness:
If it happened in Europe, I would tell the person how to make money out of it but this is Nigeria so some problems need to be resolved the Nigerian way.

It takes a certain sort of lowlife to resort to this level of desperation.

A real societal dreg using nudes...

Mindfulness:
No, I didn't. Tell me more. I heard they are very fast?

Stop it. You know they aren't. But I still like them.

Peaceful as per nothing/ no predator hassles them. Not with those jaws. So there's a wary but respectful boundary/ distance others maintain and keep their distance.

Babes, I'm stressed...sigh