₦airaland Forum

Mine was derived from my elder sis name,it is a variant of her name.Don't look at me she is the only sis I have moreover i wanted a name dats unique with no number added.I tried so many name b4 lol e.g Aaliyah,Ruby e.t.c but somebody stole it b4 me.

Nicepoker:
You haven't started yet and your eyes are already viewing the income. This is the reason lots of folks fails to succeed. From your statement you do not even have passion for both.

Mr Motivational Speaker
Will passion put food on the table

babyfaceafrica:
Can't you raise a family without been married? And some some people are married and irresponsible?.. Sometimes these things are not certain. Don jazzy doesn'took lonely and irresponsible to me

As someone rightly said marriage may not cure loneliness but it makes sure you are not lonely in your life journey.Marriage brings stability and gives you people to hold on to esp when kids start coming.
When you were younger your maiden family served this function but as you grow apart from your siblings you need your own partnership.Loneliness on the other hand is more of an inside thing you need to find peace in your inner self,having a partner should be a boost.
As for these celebrities you only get to see what they want you to see.

Bitter to some but kind of true

Zimri:
Cool ❣️❣️♠️♠️♥️✔️

I don't copy directly from Quora to paste on this forum. I only source for images from quora, pintrest, Reddit, national geographic etc...

I create the captions myself, and the topics of the threads aren't plagiarized as well.

I love your threads and the captions makes it more unique.
You just made an animal lover out of me lol.

I hope I nor carry last sha
Though it happened long time ago I can still remember it like yesterday.My elder sis had these group of classmates whom we always go home with and the boys in this group were really notorious. Anytime we pass through this hux that had a lot of dogs close to our street,they will always look for ways to trouble the dogs in order to scare the girls in the group.On this fateful day they were up to no good as usual troubling these dogs when one came after me and i ran.Unfortunately for me I fell down and I slashed my tongue,i cried ehnn.It was so painful for two weeks it was almost impossible to eat infact I could not eat anything with pepper that period.

WarriFirstSon:
Like a typical young lady, they don't think far. Superficial as well. Read the original story, you'll see that the young man said the girl uses the phone to read because she can't afford to buy textbooks. Let me write it for you, SHE USES SOFT COPIES. So, you saying he should buy her the phone automatically means "smartphones". Ode!

WarriFirstSon:
Get out and get a job. Stop living off a man, you leech. You won't go far if you think this way. All successful women in life are independent. Learn.

If trolling me will make you sleep better at night. Even I can't deny you that now can I.

WarriFirstSon:
What kind of silly advice are you dishing out to this young man who is at his lowest of lows in his life? Should he keep on spending on a leech who will most likely ditch him after graduation? Are they married that you are asking him to take care of another man's daughter? That's foolishness. Will you advise your brother passing through this scenario as you have advised this young man? Shut up woman! If he must take care of this leech, then he must see the parents and make his position known.

This one has comprehension problem seriously.Read what you wrote up there and then go through the writeup you quoted.This time do it slowly.

WarriFirstSon:
Some of you girls are wicked. You want to finish this young man completely. A financially unstable man should who takes care of his family and young ones should go and buy a smart phone for a girl who will japa with another guy after graduation. God will judge some of you. Harshly . The op is a weak man. Take your stance

Where did u see smart fone in my writeup zoom and check very well u hear infact go and borrow glasses,don't forget to borrow a brain also while getting out of my mention.

LordNicvuitton:
Yes I like this idea too as it pertains to her study materials, she however she has a resit in one of her basics as she missed the test (due to late school fees payment), so she needs materials as soon as possible and school isn't in session, few students around. I know that they'll immediately be subjected to that resit, once school resumes.

Just find a way around it,she could use ur fone when you are together or if buying some of the materials are cheaper get 1 or 2.Most times ebooks are too wide and offpoint.

LordNicvuitton:
I honestly would gladly take card of her without complaints but with the unforseen theft
and these desperate times, it weighs heavily on me.

Seems the phone is the major problem. Why don't you get her a small one first.She should let go of the ebooks for now instead she could look for one or two senior course mates to give her their old books. She should just try and improvise when there is life there is hope.

LordNicvuitton:
She's currently in 400l, having written her 2nd MB. So i guess it's late to do that. She's in a state university and their fees are quite high. Thanks for your input.

Alryt no probs.
She should have used this lockdown opportunity to learn a skill it could have helped her or work somewhere else to ease your burden. Anyway you have to come clean with her, you can't keep pretending or else one day you might just take it out on her.she should have relatives or friends who can also help.

LordNicvuitton:
Thanks bro.. beauty never was the attraction, I'm a sapiosexual. That said, she has a good heart, the only difficult thing is that both her parents are alive and she's this dependent on me. I once raised that issue about her parents not doing enough in her life and she cried bitterly. It made me feel bad, like I was reminding her of where she's coming from.

If she's a medic student what school is she in cos there are a lot of scholarship programs available for medicals;Agbami,chevron and the likes and they are mostly taken in 200level.She could try them out.

To be honest this is awkward na.i won't be caught dead doing such.

grasiouso:
Have never and would never have a low self esteem. Was only trying to bend to make the marriage work but it's exhausting.

yeah I know I could sense from your post u have your own self Worth. Stop fighting and bending just go with the flow,hope for the best but prepare for the worst.

ModestGal:
Exactly my point, why will a man be tagging someone not submissive in this century, when shes not flirting around nor commits some bad behaviour and at worst, hes threatening divorce.

Its because he sees the marriage as a favour to her.
Op looks like someone with low self esteem, that is why he thinks he can threaten her with divorce

I don't think she is a woman with low self esteem I think she loves him more than he loves her

Chidexter:
Thanks so much, I've been clashing with my uncle over a piece of land in my village, with this great news I'm armed with top notch tips on how to get my land back while blowing him a kiss in return

lolzz go and try it na

grasiouso:
Hello fam, please I need sincere advise on this issue. I created this account for this purpose so I can remain anonymous and get as much advise as I can.

I will give as much details as necessary for better understanding and to have a balanced view. My husband complains that I do things in isolation which has been the major cause of our quarrels. To be honest, the things he has complained about are usually things I do in good faith. For example, some weeks ago I came across a post on Nairaland that talked about the difficulties private school teachers are currently going through due to the covid 19 pandemic. While reading that post, I remembered a teacher living in our neighbourhood and immediately I felt like rendering a little help, so I sent her 5k (I have her account number from a transaction I did with her sometime back). I did this anonymously cos I didn't want her to know it came from me and till today even though she sees me often she has never talked about it which makes me believe she doesn't know it came from me. I later told my husband what I did expecting he would commend me but got the exact opposite. He flared up that I should have informed him before doing so. Note that we both work and have earnings. I did this from my 'personal purse' per se and not the family purse.
I have no problem informing him but he was not around at the time and I did what I did out of impulse to help someone. We really had a big quarrel and he did not fail remind me how he made a mistake with the marriage and we should go our separate way. That I am not submissive. Somehow I apologized and we managed to settle it.

Another incident: there is a virtual prayer group I belong to where we pray every morning mostly for families. People from different parts of the world join in this prayer. My husband sometimes joins but not consistent. This morning after the prayer, I sent the pastor a private message to remember my family in prayers especially for success in an exam my husband is about to write. I told my husband about this, and he flared up again. Then another round of talk of not being submissive and not obeying my husband. Please note that I'm not one of those who run after pastors and churches. I only joined this prayer group cos I connected with the way the pastor prays for families even though he doesn't know most of us and we don't know him personally.


These are just two out of the numerous issues. To be honest, I have made efforts to improve to please him and make our marriage work. I see these as petty issues and not something that should mean I am not being submissive or doing things in isolation. We talk about virtually everything we do but sometimes some things just come up that I react to immediately but always tell him about it.

As it is now, we may eventually go our separate way cos the constant reminder of him making a mistake to marry me because of my being un-submissive is making me lose interest in the marriage and killing the love I have for him. I just want to seek advise so it doesn't look like I did not make effort to make the marriage work.

Am I entirely wrong with my actions. Are the issues mentioned above not things that can be overlooked even after apologising. Should they warrant threats of divorce(which I don't have issues with anyway so everyone can have their peace)?

what does he mean by you are not submissive enuff?Judging by what u said I don't see any unsubmissive behavior here at least you always informed him thereafter.Being married does not mean u lose yourself.Never change you for anyone.
Marriage is supposed to be complementary and not an act of domination.
since he keeps threatening with divorce and says your marriage is a mistake then I would suggest you let go.Life is too short to live it under someone else's shadow.You can't be the only one fighting for the marriage to work you will get exhausted.
If you continue like this you might fall into depression,have a high bp and guess what he may simply move on.

Esseite:
"Single-handedly", the people whom voted are all mannequins?

Going by your analysis, could it still be called democracy or imposition?

who doesn't know that in Nigeria politics there is really nothing like democracy. All those votes are just for formalities to satisfy international communities.The real power play is at the background.

Righteousness89:
Apart from the Reduction in her Body size, what I see is a Lady who once had a sense of decency in the way she Dressed and has now thrown that Decency to the wind in the Name of Fashion!

But you will still go for the version that seemingly threw decency to the winds.Talk true mttchew.All her exssss will be begging to come back now.Is only Nigerians that see being fat as a good thing they will say its a sign of riches.Riches kor

This one just dey show us colourful version of Benin city not the one I know.Like him or hate him oshiomole is the only Governor who has been able to put most of these roads in good shape especially oredo and egor Axis. All Obaseki has been doing is superficial though I still prefer him to POI sha.As the saying goes the devil you know........

ehmmy11:
You really say it the way it is.... I wonder how one person will do the right thing and be decent and others will be wayward then they it doesn't matter but they don't want to settle down with their fellow wayward group ...anybody that choose to be a fool is free

But they should not deceive themselves while at it.

SIR0:
There's a girl in my neighborhood who I can refer to as my home sister. We're so close. We share feelings, advice & keep nothing from one another, our love life inclusive.

She has had quite a number of relationships and got disappointed in all. I've had one relationship too.

There was a time I told her about my feelings towards her & she said she would have loved to accept my proposal but she couldn't handle double-dating. Well, I felt okay having let her know my feelings. I understood her decision & I don't think I was ready to be kept as a spare tyre, too. We moved on with our friendship.

We talked both clean and dirty stuff. She would even tell me anytime she felt Hot & needed to see her boyfriend for sex. In short, we are now having mixed feelings for one another. It could no longer be hidden on her face, too.

As a lady, she's expecting me to make the first advance. Making the move is not my problem but the thoughts of some dirty talks we've had together. The most worrying part was a time she got drunk with her friend at a birthday party & she mistakenly called one of her Ex-bfs (who she loved most) over & he took advantage of the moment to have his way with her again. Though she claimed she was not sure if something really happened between them but she noticed she had no pant on when she woke up in the morning, blablabla. To me, the guy is not that reliable as he is into drinking & smoking. She appears too innocent to be dating such a guy & I gave my advice. She might not really disclose all that transpired at the birthday party. I kept thinking the guy could have recorded the act, knowing well that she's stark drunk. What if our relationship leads to marriage & the guy begins threatening her with sex-tape or he leaks any sex tape involving her, how would I go about it? Aside her other sex life, this is most worrisome of all.

My thinking/guess may be wrong, yet I do not want to be caught unaware, to avoid stories that touch later. This is a dilemma for me. I truly love her but my happiness matters a lot.

Don't hesitate to advise a brother.
Kindly overlook any grammatical blunders.

Thanks

As for this girl forget about her abeg sooner or later you will resent her.Feelings are fleeting in the wrong circumstances they can easily turn to hate

For those saying forget the past forget the past You obviously don't know that our past, present and future are what makes us.You can't just cut it out of your life it will always come back to haunt u.

Great piece thanks for sharing

Kalatium:
This is a popular phrase among Nigerian students. If you observe closely, you realize the people saying this are final year students or young graduates. These students have been in school for a few years and they have nothing to show for it. They cannot remember what they were taught in their year 1 neither do they have the professional skills to back up their course of study.

They keep blaming the educational system for their current state of being.
Sometimes it is because of intimidation. Their friends who didn’t attend any higher institution are already buying the latest cars in town. They are in school wasting their time and not getting anything from school. So, “School na scam”.

I was in a meeting with a Professor of Engineering and I asked a question. “Sir, why do we spend 5 years in school and when we graduate, the industry has to train us again before employing us full time? Why didn’t the school give the necessary skills we need in the industry?”
“We live in an environment where students expect the lecturers to give them all the information they need”, he said.

“Your lecturers cannot give you everything because they do not know everything. It is your responsibility as a student to learn and educate yourself. If you do not want the industry to train you, then train yourself while in school. You have the internet. There are no more excuses for ignorance”.


I was in my final year when he said that to me. I had a wrong mind-set from day 1. I was expecting the school to teach me everything I needed and if a particular area wasn’t coming out in the exam, then there was no need for me to study it.

During my 5 years in school, I got little knowledge from my class. Most of the experiences and skills I have today were gotten outside the classroom. And I am going to share with you some of the benefits I got from going to school and how you can apply it to your life.


1)Education
The aim of going to school is to get an education. To learn how to read properly, write properly and communicate effectively. There is a great difference between getting a degree and getting an education. A Degree is just a piece of concord paper with your grade on it but an Education is the development you got which is not written on any piece of paper but in your personality.
Do not pass through a school and not let the school pass through you. Yes, schooling is stressful but you cannot get pure gold without passing it through fire. Focus on your development while in school and not the degree.


2)Skills
Why do students run from responsibilities?
Why do students run from class projects or presentations?
Who do students run from leadership positions?
The only way to be good at something is by doing that thing. The school environment is the perfect place to develop your skills and learn new skills. There is a great difference between a student who always rejects leadership positions and another student who finds it a great privilege to lead.
Maturity is not in age but in responsibility.
How do you teach a man to drive?
By giving him all the books in driving or by giving him a car to drive?
If you want to be a great leader someday, start by accepting leadership positions in school.
If you want to run your own business, start by accepting responsibilities in school.
These skills are not taught in a classroom but they can be learnt if you practice it. Learn a skill while in school.
Please, learn an IT skill too.


3)Network
Who are your friends?
Who do you surround yourself with?
Your network is your net worth. The people you keep around you have an influence on your growth process.
I always make friends with smart people. People who think like me.
And sometimes you may have fake friends. People who only come around when they need something from you. They are not interested in you or your growth process, they only want what is best for themselves. Cut these people off.
I used to have a friend who only called me when she needed money or airtime. There was another who would visit me only when he was hungry. It was a parasitic relationship and I had to let go. Do the same.
Please do not just make friends from your class or faculty alone. Go other places. Make friends from everywhere. I made a promise while I was in school to have friends from all the faculties in my school and I achieved my goal. And also I made friends with my lecturers. They are humans too and need people to talk to and share ideas with. I was close to some of my lecturers and we had great time together.

Learn from your network. Let your network learn from you.
You cannot achieve certain missions alone; you need people with like minds. Get them.


4)Join an Organisation
If you have a triangular lifestyle- from class to the hostel and from the hostel to the library, please change it. You are killing yourself slowly. Create time for extracurricular activity. There are so many organisations in school you could join. These organisations are there to build the leader in you. You learn certain ethics in these organisations. I was a member of the Junior Chamber International, an organisation I joined in my final year.

One of my greatest regrets so far is that I didn’t build myself on time. I started developing myself when I was in my penultimate year. It was too late for me.
If you can volunteer, please do. During the holidays, do not go home and become fat. Go home and volunteer in organisations. Develop your skills.
Do not make the same mistakes I made. Be better and school is the best place to be better.


5)Read
“Learn, Unlearn, Relearn”.
Do not limit your reading to your academic books alone. Read other books.
Some persons were surprised when I taught them how to put on a condom. I read it from a book.
I read a lot. I read about politics, science, business, life, sex, computers, religion, magic and so on. I enjoy reading.
You are wiser when you read. Do not be like some of our politicians with small library and big stomach.
Get your own library today. Read to know more. And apply what you read (the good stuff please).

Never stop learning. Never stop reading.
Learn and after you have learnt, Earn from your knowledge.
People no longer employ Degrees, they employ Skills and Knowledge.
Always remember, that your success in life is directly proportional to your smart work.
School will be scam to you if you want it to be and also the greatest tool to be better if you want it. Choose wisely

Babanlagenius:
Bro please don't make the mistake I made. Since we broke up I haven't seen any lady of my choice. As a matter of fact, they all want my money. I totally regret ever leaving the lady and I don't even know if I will see anyone like her. I recently met one on Facebook, we had nice convo, I asked her to be my girlfriend. She called me 3 days ago that she would come and spend one week at my place, since then, my feelings went off totally.

It left because we've not met before yet she wants to come spend the night.

That means Na so she dey with other boyfriends.

Right now I don't know what to do. All I think of is my ex

If you are really genuine about her I suggest u give her a call.At least even if it doesn't work out you will have closure knowing you tried to get her back.Experience shows its better to try and fail than to be left imagining what could have been.worse case scenario, she turns you down.
As for your question, normally the one who initiated the breakup should move on faster cos he or she must have prepared himself emotionally for the breakup.

etrange:
I love her too but I feel it's not fair to judge a woman's character based on whether she's married or not. A lot of people still love Don Jazzy and other single male celebrities but regardless how successful a lady is, she is always expected to have a man or she's considered a LovePeddler. A lot of people (especially guys) love Mercy just cause she took time off acting to play the wife role (which is not bad at all) but it doesn't necessarily make her a better person than the single ones. Recall that when she was single and acting all those s.ex scenes, many tagged her a harlot. Even when so got married, people called her a husband snatcher. Then she started bearing children and doing what the society expects of women, she became a role model.

People will always judge one into living a lifestyle that conforms to the society even if one isn't happy with it. I'm glad Merci seems very happy and contended but that's her choice. Others have theirs.

#JustMyOpinion #NoOffenceIntended

Deep

Hbd to u wizzy

He's actually 30,this guy churned out good music for yrs.

God i am so pained and she was very brave,just seeing that helicopter alone gives me the cold chills.she really was a woman of steel.

LadyJasper:
When will our young girls learn that they alone will bear the consequences of premarital sex while their male partners go scot-free? A very sad situation.

I wish every girl out there would come to terms with this truth

Justbehave:
SMH. Why do you like gender war too much? Seems your marriage is not working out well for you.

This is not about gender war she just said the undiluted truth.Have u ever wondered why most western kids are fond of their dads esp. the girls. Most Nigerian fathers believe showing love is a sign of weakness.