₦airaland Forum

well done joerux60

honeric01:
we need a volunteer, 72 virgins await you including booqee

Let me have the list of 72 virgins then we'll get a volunteer ASAP.

BTW, 72 virgins? You're kidding. Finding even 2 virgins is as difficult as hell not to talk of 72 please tell us somethings else this old news

[img]http://www.freesmileys.org/custom/image/grey%5E_%5Earial%5E_%5E0%5E_%5E0%5E_%5ERIDE on BRO%5E_%5E.gif[/img]

DONkollione:
Ekeroyal u re a good joker n u dont dsrve to b in NPJC abi na NJPC. We projan wil lyk to sign u in . . Pls dont decline young man

Thanks Don, for once you've acted like a man of eminence. Hope you continue like this. I'd love to join you guys, but for now let us be like Real Madrid & Barca.
Let the BEST beat the rest

^^
hahahahaha, hope that makes many people happy.

With deep sorrow in our hearts we are happy to announce to the entire general people of the public that this years valentine's day celebration is now cancelled as it involves situation beyond our ability.


For more information please bring your calculator first then scroll down

























the date is the problem

Let f(x) be 14 - 02 - 12 = 0

hence, since the function of x is zero, the valentine's day is function-less, void & null.

Now all the stingy and mate-less pals have every reason to celebrate

They must continue laughing they've got no choice. Here's one for dinner, before I attend to my mate


Yesterday, scientists in the United States revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones.

To prove their theory, they fed one hundred men twelve pints of beer and observed that 100% of them started talking nonsense and couldn't drive(characteristics of women -reports the Professor in-charge).

DidN't mEaN to aBuSE any GeNdER

~~Peace!! and enjoy your night~~

booqee:
Ekeroyal you dey post confirm jokes oh. You're d only correct poster for njpc. Weldone.

https://serve.mysmiley.net/love/love0037.gif

 

starlight®®:
SHOCKING NEWS!!!
A MUST READ FOR ALL,
In a mental hospital yesterday in Yobe State,a mad man was chasing Ŧнε senior doctor with a knife. An eye witness confirmed that Ŧнε doctor was running for dear life until he got to a dead end, then Ŧнε mad man handed over the knife τ̅☺ him saying "Oya, oga take na your own turn τ̅☺ pursue me", lol

old one, pls bring sth new.

CAN A MAN MARRIED AFTER ONE?

We need help please

Kwel buddy

Kinezeala:
ok Eke stay on ya lane then.
Mind your business.
And i'll mind mine.

No shit man, just be yourself and do your thing.

Kinezeala:
Eke you are good!

Yw bro., tnx but in sincerity only one's good. You know him. We all try to be.

thumbs up poster, ride on!!

ok, I can see the radiator of some people here has out of water. Let me help you before you lose you engines guys & gals

A man and his wife were arguing what gender enjoys S.ex more. Here's the dialog

MAN: Men enjoy it & use women as the tool for satisfaction.
WIFE: False, it's you the men that are toys for gratification.
MAN: Can you expatiate?
WIFE: Sure! Now if your ear itches you, you put a finger in there for some times and takes it out. At the end who feels better. Ear or Finger?
MAN: em! em!

What do you think Nairalanders?

booqee:
^ when did i ever condemn ur jokes?? I only complain on dry jokes.

Hello mylady, we ain't fighting am just em trying to say you gave me a thumbs up here. That's kwel ya knw, in fact am feeling the ambiance of you likeability in here. #happydays.

Kinezeala:
my love i dont think he meant you directly having been making condemning remarks about his jokes.
He's just carried away that a pretty lady like you is liking his thread and thats all.
E no easy na.
Oya come to bed make we ***** night don come jor.

You're so corrupt, don't understand your mission in NL. Besides, we don't need you anymore here to interfere with our unequivocal language of humour for the betterment of our faithful, respectful, adorable fans who throw in their criticism constructively without animosity.

skales:
I see u guys
Weldone

Npjc guys no dey carry last like those olodo for projan

Fly guys
No stopping

YW bro., we always keep the candle burning.
~~PEace brethrens, it's another day~~

Kinezeala:
^^
foolish fool.
Your father left nyansh!!

Kinezeala:
may thunder cripple your wretched father!

AH! the good guy's gone 'worsetest'

booqee:
Nice joke, ekeroyal.

hmmmm, finally Booqee's giving a nice remark for my joke. WoohooooO! Tnx a million, hope nobody slaughters me for this.

booqee:
Kinzeala, i advise u shouldn't join NJPC. Their members have coma. Skales is too stale and he's very proud and arrogant too. Sutoboy is too abusive and insulting. And d both of them are dry posters. Ekeroyal is. . .errmm. . .i've not yet seen his flaw, but he will have.
Kinzeala i think u should join PROJAN.

Well well, we all have our downside non is perfect but the ability to overcome it is more important than identifying it. So Boo, stop looking for peoples faults and act as if you never saw them. After all the almighty never judges us the way we are.

@Kinzeala, you can do what you like bro. Nairaland doesn't put bread on our tables, we only come here to have fun. Agreed we may disagree sometimes but that is the only thing that can happen for us to move forward. Think about a world without friction.

Dinner joke for all NJPC members

A professor at the University was giving a lecture on the supernatural.

To get a feel for his audience, he asks “How many people here believe in ghosts?”
About 85 students raised their hands.

“Well, that’s a good start. Out of those of you who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you’ve seen a ghost?”
About 40 students raised their hands.

“That’s really good. I’m really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?”
About 13 students raise their hands.
“Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?”
3 students raise their hands. “That’s fantastic.

Now let me ask you one question further. Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?”
Way in the back, Adamu raised his hand.
The professor takes off his glasses, and says, “All the years I’ve been giving this lecture; no one has ever claimed to have made love to a ghost. You’ve got to come up here and tell us about your experience.”

The big redneck student nodded and with a grin stands up, and began to make his way up to the podium. When he reached the front of the room, the professor asks, “So, tell us what it’s like to have sex with a ghost?”
Adamu replied, “Ghossst?
Shiiiiit! From way back there I thought you said,”Goats!”

~~Peace out~~
The family is murmuring(ya know what I mean ), maybe back or not, it's just too hours from midnight here -responsibility calling . All the best jokes fellas.

Kinezeala:
im officially out!!!
*tenders resignation letter*
keep on energizing your rivals.
Smh

okie dokie bro., peace! no fighting. We're in the joke section, in case you want to get serious please move on to the serious section. All the best, we believe in what we do.
*throws the resignation letter into the waste bin*
********NEXT!!!***********

Here we come with one for the fans

A man who smelled like a distillery flopped on a subway seat next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes, the disorderly guy turned to the priest and asked, "father, what causes arthritis?"

"Mister, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol and a contempt for your fellow man."

"Well I'll be." the drunk muttered, returning to his paper.

The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. "I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long did you have arthritis?"

"I don't have it father. I was just reading here that the Pope does."

Moral: Don't rush to conclusions, you could be trying to screw your Lord

ARareGem:
He he. Two can play that game.

You can be sure dear

Kinezeala:
@Eke
sutoboy don do im own you now wan start with ya own?
Why did you use that st upid boys' id to crack a joke?
sutoboy just stay on em on dey hail the other group.
You ma want start ya own too?
Mtchew.
Una dey mumu for this group.
Infact im opting out.
You guys dey fall hands !

AH! can't understand what you mean, please what did Suto do?

DONkollione:
Pls dont go NPJC loves u.

DonK's jealous he ain't going anywhere

[img]http://www.freesmileys.org/custom/image/red%5E_%5Earial%5E_%5E0%5E_%5E0%5E_%5EAfrican magic?%5E_%5E.gif[/img]

[img]http://www.freesmileys.org/custom/image/grey%5E_%5Earial%5E_%5E0%5E_%5E0%5E_%5EKinezeala is the man%5E_%5E.gif[/img]

Now here's one for Donkollione

Donkollione and the bar

Donkollione walked into a bar and ordered three different drinks in three different glasses. He walked to a table, sat down, and began to drink each drink one at a time. When he was finished he went up to get three more.
The Bartender said, "Why do you get three different drinks? It would be a lot easier for me to mix them."
Donkollione said, "When my two brothers moved away we all promised that every day we would drink each others favourite drink."
The bartender said, "That's very cool."
So Donkollione did this for a number of years. But one day he walked in and only ordered two drinks. Everybody looked up and bowed their head. When Donkollione walked up to the bartender the bartender said, "I am so sorry about your brother."
Donkollione looked at him funny and said, "Oh No, everybody's all right it's just that I stopped drinking. I must honour my promise to my brothers."

Kinezeala:
Eke please carry on.
You funny no be small.
Forget the haters.
Whatever they sow, that they shall reap!

Yea man you've chosen the right path bro thumbs UP!!

booqee:
Hey ekeroyal?? What has d whole handcuff thing got to do with jokes?? I no understand, abeg come again!
As for ur 2nd joke, its too stale joorr!

Next!

By the time this thread hits the roof, people will be too intoxicated that handcuffs will definitely be required to restore sanity, That's how we do it  
Meanwhile no probs if the 2nd joke doesn't make you laugh. More on the way.

DONkollione:
*throws bomb inside thread*



BOOOOOOOOOM!!!!


Now i call dis professionl copy and plaster

now we know who the boko haram is, anyways am better than you I've got both BH swag & ND militants swag. Don't mess with me, else I'll shove the bomb up ur D*EK

TEACHER VS STUDENTS

Teacher: why did you laugh?
Boy: I saw a strap of your bra.
Teacher: GET OUT. No class for you for a week.

*Another boy laughs*

Teacher: Why did you laugh?
Boy: I saw both straps of your bra.
Teacher: GET OUT. No class for you for a month.

*She bends down to pick a chalk and little Johnny starts walking out*

Teacher: Johnny why are you going out?
Johnny: With what I saw I think my school days are over.

Kinezeala:
mtchew,
whats your own? Post jokes na.
Dont you know you are supposed to post at least 20 jokes a day? To attrack members.
You just dey dull here.
Nothing dey happen for the group at all. No members nothing nothing.
Mtchew. .
Smn.

I love challenges, hence I throw in this one for ya Kinezeala

Interaction between a boy and his new gal friend

BOY: I called you severally today, but you didn't pick.
GIRL: oh dear, am sorry. My phone's always with my mum.
BOY: sh*t! That means we're caught.
GIRL: No, we're safe.
BOY: How?
GIRL: I saved your number as 'Low Battery'. So whenever you call, she plugs the phone to the charger.


~~~Peace~~~

here's one more for those valentine's day freak

A very shy guy goes into a pub on Valentine's Day night and sees a beautiful young woman sitting alone at the bar. After an hour of gathering
up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks tentatively, "Um, would you mind if I bought you a drink?"
She responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "No, I won't sleep with you tonight!"
Everyone in the pub started staring at them. Naturally, the guy was terribly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table totally red faced.
After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says, "I'm really sorry if I embarrassed you just then. You see,
I'm a graduate student in psychology and I'm studying how people respond to embarrassing situations." At this the guy responds, at the top of his lungs,
"What do you mean, $300?"

Kinezeala:
Is this a joke or an advert?

it depends on what side you are, just declare ur variable then'll tell u what it is