₦airaland Forum

All my Jos girls wey marriage dey hungry like sugar, you girls won't plan your lives you want to rush and marry because your mates are marrying.

3 years down the marriage you have two kids going to beg for gote in your parents house and Oga is drinking from the stress of carrying the whole burden and beating you.

Same old story, my southern brothers and sisters will not understand how bad this epidemic is, very shallow unplanned mentality. Marriage is good but plan your life first

Pidggin:
Why you wan divorce am? Stop threatening her with divorce.

It is the wife who hasn't divorced him yet I blame.

His mother demanded his wife respected her more than she did her own mother
The wife refused his mother demanded he divorce his wife and he did, then he came to nairaland for advice

He then goes behind the mother to bring back the wife, mother demands he sends the wife away he returns to nairaland for advice

He then decides to marry another wife to make him mother happy, wife finds out and threatens his babe, he returns for more advice

Now he has pissed the wife off again.

My worry in this whole thing is why the wife keeps staying with the confused Mummy's boy who should really not be married to anyone

But she was here last time shouting that Beverly is a liar and her husband is not violent when Beverly accused him of the same thing.


https://www.nairaland.com/1391187/2shotz-wife-reacts-beverly-osus/2

babygirlfl:
True. In nairaland, for most people, how much you agree with them is directly proportional to the gesture you get. Sometimes though, I do wish people could be free to say their story without fear of someone using it against them.

How are you eketem?

I Am fine jare. How are you and yours?

There are many bitter horrible people in this life who stay online all day waiting desperately to hurt other people because their own lives are so sad.

Dyt you are a strong woman please edit your story.

This is nairaland with wicked malicious people who will take your story shared with good intentions and abuse you when they disagree with you.

What do you want?
Goals, dreams and aspirations?

Define that and meet a man who shares your goals and aspirations. It's not about what a man wants but what works for you both.
There is no crime in taking time off to raise your kids no one can raise your kids better than you however you need to plan with your spouse realistically on financing and have a realistic household budget to support that

ahnie:
Lemmi feed your fantasy....when i complained to mr Ahlex on phone,he told me point blank...ANNIE this z your house,take charge of it.no body has the right to come and harrass you in your own house.i hav told you to stop being Free with sensitive issues.tell her what you want her to do...if she does not do it...then tell her to TAKE a LONG walk.

I am with your husband on this, don't give people room to mistreat you. Be clear with them on what you will tolerate and what you won't tolerate

ahnie:
Mine z my sil...she z almost 32yrs,very lazy,and she does not WORK..infact all her life,she never WORK to earn a livin.what she does z to be parabulatin from her bother's house to the other.she wil eat,and leav the plates for yu to pack,wen she comes around,if ayam chargin my phone,she wil remov it n plug her(s)witout mindin,welda you hav bars or not.meanwhile she z wit her charger o.she wil just spread her big yansh like python on the cushion/bed all day long witout doin anything.the painful part z her formin thus:i dont eat fish o,my mama no cawi fish train us o,but her broda,my husband and her mum eats fish.when i gav her tu my zino,after 4days,she came around again,like a prisoner that excaped from alcatras prison with a very big bag,spread her yansh,and ordered me to go buy chicken,and prepare oilly rice for her,i was like...haaaa mogbe o,kin eleyin,me wey neva strong just 4days after puttin to bed.i went to get the chicken from the market,n almst died insid the bus,meanwhile she just spread for cushion dey watch telemundo o,i came back n prepare the rice,n my lil girl was cryin,mehn i was gased out.my mil was so annoyed n she scolded me for going to the market,and she warned her daughter.last two weeks,she came again wit that her big bag,she nor even fit green me,she jus came into the sittin room,dropped her bag and settle on her favourite settee...she went straight to where i plugged her batterylez phone and fiaaaam,she removed it,and on the verge of pluggin hers,i said Kai joy,leave my charger there,she Hissed and mumbled one kai yeye word n took her own charger

You are so hurt and bitter because you are doing eye service. Pretending to do "our wife" then hating her guts. Why can't you honestly draw boundaries? Why would you go to the market four days post partum?

Wives need to be real and stop pretending. You will be doing "Yes sister, Yes Anty" to them why won't they make stupid demands?

Onegai:
He says sorry, then keeps quiet for a while and later heads out to buy food (cake works wonders! ). I bone for a full day (sometimes vex and pack my stuff into the bedroom and pretend to bring down boxes), then I come and meet him (he's usually in the parlour) and say "let's talk. First of all, I'm sorry".

Hahahahahaaa one day he go helep you pack the boxes lol. We sha like drama and special effects

quote author=livingstone2013 post=40594149]@eketem, I won the SME Empowerment Innovation challenge in mid september. Before then , I already had the skills and experience from past failed business on how to successfully run a business in lagos. You can not even win a business plan competition if your company is not yet registered, already have the skills of what you intend doing or have the ability to convince the judges that your business proposal is very viable and meet a needs.
So immediately, I got the grants. I set up the business immediately. And since it is a fast moving consumer goods, I don't need advertising. My marketing strategy was grassroot. I consulted a recruiting firm in Ikeja who supplied me hardworking marketers to employ as staff. And they market the product to the targeted consumers. While I simply handle the production in my small factory. Simple as ABC.[/quote]Okay poster no vex. Congratulations on your good fortune. Someone as smart as you should know not to have unprotected sex not just because of pregnancy but because you have a good future to protect from deadly STDS, you need discipline to suceed.

I don't buy the she seduced me defence. Anyway they can't force you to marry her, no law provides for that. Just ensure that your first child is well provided for

Meanwhile if this is true, you slept with her without condom. You no like yourself sha

This your story time line sha;

In August you needed money to pay your rent
Immediately people started asking questions you won a grant of 10,000 dollars. When people asked for the site so they could send their proposals you said you can't give the link for a public competition oh.

Anyway in 4 months after the training you have already set up a production plant, even though we know the time it takes to find a place to rent, import or buy the equipment and start up a place. You are already producing and turning over 1.5 million a month.
You have now been " seduced" by the wicked ex who is now pregnant. Hian, forgive my unbelieve but I think all this stories are just happening in your mind

babygirlfl:
True @ words in bold. Time and time again women console themselves that it is not their husband lying but the woman involved that is lying. It is important to trust your partner. Trusting your partner however is different from believing him despite evidence pointing otherwise just because you want to believe him and not because you are convinced he is saying the truth.

@op, I believe he had a relationship with her because she spent a night in the apartment( how did she get the keys to the apartment you and your husband to be intend to live). She even bought a kettle. That is the behaviour of a woman who thinks she is building her home. Then he is sexting her. I think he has been with the two of you together.

I cannot tell you to or not to call off the wedding. That is your decision to make. You are lucky to have the opportunity to make an informed decision. I understand that this is a very difficult decision for you to make but please quit calling the other woman names and think objectively after which you can make your decision.

Sadly the poster ( yes I am convinced this is her story) will go ahead and marry him and when he cheats when she is pregnant he will blame it on her pregnancy and she will come and cry here. When he cheats with the help she will say the girl is possesed and seduced the husband

The lady is not an imposter, she is the grooms girlfriend he had a relationship with her and he lied about it.

It is solely her choice to call of or go ahead with the wedding but she should not do that blaming all this nonsense on the other woman, she should be honest and real to herself and know the man she is marrying so when they marry and he starts lying and cheating she won't come back and lament.

Meanwhile it's always a friend or a neighbour

This happened to me, when we first got married it was the same thing luckily when I spoke to my husband he listened and greatly reduced this to once a month and started taking me out more instead.
Now I am even the one who reminds him to go out and see his friends.

First week after we came back from honeymoon Husband would go out and be playing video game till 9pm, second day I went for a walk and came back to meet over 10 friends and relatives playing games.
I just broke down crying he didn't understand why I was crying just two weeks into the marriage I wanted out lol

You need to find a way to communicate with him your feelings without fighting. I sent my husband a message explaining my frustrations and he digested it and understood, he told me he is just learning to live with someone else and he took for granted that he could live as he did when single because he didn't understand the impact it had on me.

Maybe you should invite him out for a date, go get some frozen yogurt or something and just have fun then probably send him a message and explain your feelings, emphasise on thw fact that you are not quarrelling but telling him how you feel.

The day we learn to mind our own business is the day we start to grow.

Did they complain to you?
Who is the Judge of what is right or wrong for a couple?
Are they breaking any laws?

Abeg let every couple decide what is ideal for them, decide your own and mind your business

asadike:
madam, what are u still waiting for? u no go use style save your marriage? pls contact another family member of yours in another state and send d girl to her. dont confront your husband, he will deny it. why would you allow her to serve your husband food in d first place? is it her duty? pls send her away and start acting like a wife just like your niece used to do.

Anyone married to a pedophile has more than " saving marriage " to be worried about.
Are the neighborhood girls safe?
Is his own daughter safe from his sick mind
If this is true in a sane society the man should be in jail but in this insane society we are talking about saving a marriage to a sick man

Two people are getting married so why should only the man foot the bill?
Should the couple not have a joint account for planning the wedding or is it only the man who has to manufacture cash whenever there is an expense? If you start with this " only the man should handle all expenses " then don't come and complain when the marriage goes that way.

Young couples need to be financially open and honest work together to achieve harmony that is solving 60% of all marital conflicts.

Any man who feels insecure about his wife contribution to wedding expenses or working with her financially to have a great married life is a man who is bringing only money to the marriage nothing else and if you bring only money to a marriage then you are very poor

Thank you my brother, if it is some women they will take the kids and make them househelps and justify it; they will insist that because they pay school fees and buy uniform they must get their " investment" back from these tiny kids

Why are you afraid of your own husband? Why are Nigerian wives like this? Why do you sell yourself so short that you become afraid of asking obvious questions?

If they are having s-ex don't go beating the girl and claiming your husband was seduced or bewitched, this is statutory rape he is an adult she is a minor. You better start finding out what is going on in your house. Don't allow your husband mislead and rape a 15 year old emotionally needy girl because you think he is a pastor and so holy.

She just lost her mother she is emotionally needy and so anyone who shows her some love and attention can take full advantage of her plus he is an authority figure.

Stop that dirty man from further abusing her

yebo36:
We talked on that before, h[b]e said he does not like teaching and for th[/b]e hotel, he walked as a manager in one hotel in gwarimpa but they still owe him 1 year salary so he had to stop

At this point he should be more concerned about putting food on the table not about what he likes or doesn't like. When he doesn't have mouths to feed and bills to pay he has the chance to be picky.
What did he want to do when he read philosophy.
Okay what does he want to do? Like I said he needs to be the one growing up, you can try all you want but if he doesn't have the determination there is little you can do

Some kids have special needs eg Autism. So before you go beating " bad behaviour " out of that child see a doctor first to ensure he or she is okay first.

Mostly kids are smarter than we give them credit for. If you start correcting them while they are in diapers what to touch what not to touch where they can play what parts are banned they will mostly grow into it but most times we believe they are too young and wait till they have picked up some level of indiscipline before correction starts

For one allow him to grow up
You seem to be doing all the work for him getting money for him to start business, sending him for prayers etc.
He needs to own up and stand on his own two feet. What kind of business is he doing and did he have any training or experience before jumping in?
Most times we just " start business" without laying foundations just because we see people suceeding in that business.

The Igbos do years of apprenticeship before opening their own business for a reason.

If his business isn't going well it means he needs to learn how to run it profitably let him humble himself and learn from someone else who has gone far in the relationship.

He read philosophy in reality his chances of employment are limited.

My advice is don't have more kids for now
Both of you draw up a five year plan
Let him help out more with the kids so you can meet your deadlines and make more money.

A family needs both hands on deck to succeed, he needs to get out of self pity and put his families survival first. This happens when people go into marriage hoping destiny or fate will better their fortunes instead of proper planning

tearoses:
God bless your hubby and strengthen your home.

Amen and yours too

It is silly posts like this that makes marriage sound so scary hence when some misguided people get a drama issue free marriage they start crying that it is abnormal