₦airaland Forum

Seunomobo:
My elder sister is married to a man with a very low source of income with three children.....

The thing is the man is not ready to do extra to make extra income for the family.

My sister has been doing odd jobs to ensuring the kids won't suffer...

Now my sister cant help but have a side boyfriend to help with the upkeep of the family, since the husband is utterly useless.....

TrustNone:
I thought I was the only one.
Omo I couldn't sleep well nor eat well for the past few weeks and I have mouths to feed.
I sold everything finish I no get wetin to come sell again.
Palmcredit loan expired and they were all calling me and disturbing me.
Omo life no easy

unattractive10:
life is hard for me
no female attention almost all the women hate me for no reason
I am polite,gentle and caring but I have not had sex
no one respects me
if I ask a woman out
am sure she is going to say no so why bother
I have never had a gf before
am frustrated and tired of life

I don't know why women just hate me
I don't exist to most women like I am invisible to them
I have done all I could
I have prayed
am tired
Am also financially stable

unattractive10:
good evening , everyone
I have a problem ,every since I have been on this earth no woman apart from my family has shown me love
everyone tells me am good looking infact I do all grooming stuffs
read all dating books followed different advices ,even got a dating coach
am very polite and good natured
yet women don't want me
infact if me and a lady start to talk within few days they won't want to see me again
I have prayed and cried unto God nothing has changed
Financially am doing well as a student
I have done self evaluation
I have asked ladies questions
Nothing seems to be wrong with me
yet no woman wants to talk or be friends with me
I feel like am invisible
I don't know if it is a spiritual problem
or something is wrong with me
I don't act needy or clingy yet women don't just like me
i am 6ft tall ,I have an athletic body but I still don't understand

ChildOfDoom:
I had 9500 naira left yesterday (after selling my CAMON phone). The devil entered me. I was supposed to patronise Olosho 2k and then manage with the rest before my next pay.

But I thought foolishly of adding like 5000 extra so it will last the month. Especially after hearing of a guy who won one million from bet9ja Virtual (though lost over 600k the previous day).

To cut the long story short, I lost it all. I had sleepless night yesterday. Currently begging colleagues to loan me money to substain me the remaining days of the month. I have not eaten today self. The phone I am using now is terrible. Charging port bad, network appears and disappears and the screen damaged

I know my triggers now.
- charging at a betshop instead of office
- wanting to visit brothel instead of soapy
- eating in fancy places instead of local places with okada men

God help me to go 145 days (days left in the year) without betting, to regain my sanity. I will update daily on my progress. Your words of encouragement and advice daily will help. Don't see me as a lost cause

Day 1 - August 9th, 2023 (clean)

Sonnobax15:

This thing ain't true....... There are good bannies out there...

You can't just generalize all bannies as bad entities,cuz I won't be on your side......

Until you waka come out and search,you go dey use the same eye dey look all bannies to be the same, simply because of the few bad ones wey you don encounters.......whereas that's not what it is..

yrhuhfy113:
MY mom had only my dad and till today, it is a standard in our entire extended family.
My grandmums too had the same reputation in the village of purity and chastity.

YOUR EXPERIENCES MUST HAVE DAMAGED YOU SO MUCH THAT IT BROUGHT YOU TO THIS CONCLUSION


So speak for yourself.


SOME OF US GOT MARRIED IN OUR 30s as MALE VIRGINS because of SELF CONTROL, FEAR OF GOD AND THE GLORIOUS DESTINY WE CARRY.


Yes we are the remnant and we EXIST.

So don't generalize.

yrhuhfy113:
MY mom had only my dad and till today, it is a standard in our entire extended family.
My grandmums too had the same reputation in the village of purity and chastity.

YOUR EXPERIENCES MUST HAVE DAMAGED YOU SO MUCH THAT IT BROUGHT YOU TO THIS CONCLUSION


So speak for yourself.


SOME OF US GOT MARRIED IN OUR 30s as MALE VIRGINS because of SELF CONTROL, FEAR OF GOD AND THE GLORIOUS DESTINY WE CARRY.


Yes we are the remnant and we EXIST.

So don't generalize.

Hi!

My name is boredberry... I'm 19... And I need a boyfriend... He must reside in Abuja or be willing to travel to Abuja if he resides in other state... I don't discriminate but I would prefer a southerner, esp from these south-south states (Delta, Edo, Port Harcourt) or a south westerner excluding those from Ogun and Osun...

He must be tall... I'm 5.5 so he must be above 5.7...

I prefer dark men... Who doesn't love chocolate? But if he's fair and attractive I might consider...

He could be a Christian or a muslim... But I don't want someone who's too religious... I'm not really a believer but I'm very tolerant... I hate fanatics...

I need a man who's a lover of science! And mythology, astrology, history and so on...

A pan-African...

An avid reader...

He must be creative... Someone who sees things from many perspectives... Thinks outside the box...

He must be funny! And polite enough to laugh at my lame jokes...

Be considerate and kind... I need someone with a heart... Emphatic and with a vision to change the world in his own little way...

I need a man who is a lover of life! Drinks, smokes, enjoys going out and meeting new people...

Someone who takes risks... Loves adventures... Anything but common...

He must enjoy travelling... Excited by foreign cultures, esp those that are African...

Be a foodie...

I love public display of affection! So he should love holding me and being held... Kissed... Etc...

Be a dog person... Love the idea of having pets... I grew up with dogs and cats even chickens! So I love animals!

Someone who's childish and fun to be with... Silly and cute... I love men who are boyish...

He shouldn't be an alpha... He should love himself and all that... But I like men who are sensitive... So he shouldn't think feeling sad or even crying is a sign of weakness...

I'll continue...

Jennyclay:
He looks mentally unstable.

Village people at work.

Only God knows what he did that made his life so unfortunate like this. Who knows maybe he murdered or rape a female toddler or adult and nemesis caught up with him

I won’t pity him, Men can’t be trust.

Darlingme:
Honestly things are really getting crazy with the nature of story that spring forth everyday. I was in counseling session with a woman days ago and I lack what to adviced.

What can you advise in a situation where the husband refused to go out to get a job nor engage in any form of business or do anything to provide for his home? He always complain and turn down any job suggestion from his wife, thereby watching her do all the struggles all alone?
He stays back at home and wait for what his wife's beings?
What kind of situation is this?
Are they men out there who really practice this kind of lifestyle?
What would you advise such a wife?
Is this enough reason for a woman to cheat?

Karen2024:
Few days ago I celebrated the iPhone my boyfriend bought me, but today I'm here to let you know that he has taken his iphone.
This was how it all started, he said he have a very urgent problem that I should help him with the phone so he will sell it. I gave him he sold it but I don't even know what the problem was. If I ask him he will only shout at me.
Truly, men are all scums.

Socratiz:
I advise you seek help from a grief counselor.

This is a painful loss that requires a skillful management so that he can cope. You cannot imagine the state of her mind to be so disconsolate for one month.

Please get some professional help for her because prolonged grief can be disastrous.

You can send me a mail if you need the services of a counsellor

jogojogo:
My younger brother passed on almost a month ago after being admitted for 3 month at UCH Ibadan. The young man was in his twenties who just wrote is last paper in February. He was diagnosed of aplastic anaemia and was under medical attention untill he passed on.

The death came to us with deep sorrow and pain. I have tried to move on even though it's difficult. I still cry every day secretly but my biggest concern right now is how to get my mother to move on. She has remain unconsolable as every morning I could hear her cries as early as 4.00am daily. I had to be with her in her room talking to her.

Soon, I will be travelling and I am worried she may never find any reason to be happy.

I have spoken to her in my little wisdom and don't even know what else to be telling her.

I need our advice please on how better to handle this and what can be done to effectively help the situation

Mummyimbecile:
OP, first, let me start by asking you to please accept my sympathy on the loss of your brother. Losing a loved one and getting over it is not an easy thing unless by God's grace. I knew this when I lost my lovely Dad, it wasn't easy.

I pray that God in his infinite mercies will give you, your mom, your siblings, and any other person that has lost someone dear to them the fortitude to bear the loss and move on... What else can we do? We cant question God.

Secondly, I don't know if your mom stays alone, if she stays alone, I'll advise you to suspend your travel plans if it isn't necessary and stay with her till she gets over the death of your bro. Eh get why.

I pray God sees you true. And also "ozo emena". For the sake of my brothers and sisters who ain't Igbo, it means "may such a thing not happen again".

Dshocker:
I saw a young guy that died, in a hospital beg, in the video a female voice was heard calling his name and crying in the background on Instagram

jogojogo:
What's this please

Dicta18:
She will be fine after one year.. had same experience when my brother was murdered in Abuja at age of 22. Mum didn't leave the house for one year. Always at his grave lighting candles. I don't even wish this to an enemy

Cooolme:
My final exams were just released, and I just confirmed my CGPA, you may be thinking why I am excited over it even though it's not first class but let me explain briefly.

Starting school at a young age, I had a tough time taking my studies seriously. I didn't pay much attention to my notes. This carried on into secondary school, where my grades were just average. I managed to score 188 in JAMB, 230 in my POST UTME, got 1b, and C's in my NECO, which I used to process my admission cos my school WAEC was withheld, and I didn't bother to retake it.

I was only 15 when I started university, a friend's candid portrayal of university life had prepared me for what lay ahead, or so I thought.

My first challenge was my roommate, a very unserious fellow. His mockery of my attempts to establish disciplined study habits took its toll on me, leading to a particularly trying semester during which I had 3 carry-overs, my worst ever.

Before the next semester began, I talked to my family about changing my lodge. They advised me to stay where I was until my second year, but deep down, I knew it wasn't right for me. So, I had to hustle up cash and with the help of my beloved aunt (RIP Ma'am) I was able to rent my own space, the best and most expensive lodge around school as at that time…

This time I will be staying alone till further notice, the GP hustle began. I would read and read, only me, as I never liked group reading or night class stuff. I began to excel academically, was a thing of joy, the last time I felt that brilliant was during my Junior secondary school days.

While I was improving my grades, I also needed to earn money. My family's support decreased because my dad was sick. So, I had to balance between learning skills for financial independence and keeping up with my studies. It wasn't easy, and I missed classes sometimes, but I kept trying. Eventually, things got better, and I was even able to buy a car last year.

But life threw a big challenge at me during the first semester of my final year, my dad passed away. I had to handle a lot of responsibilities as the first son, and to make things tougher, my uncles scheduled the burial a few days before my exams. I was sick during the exams, but I pushed through and did my best.

And now, the results are out, and I did really well. I've overcome this phase of my life, and I'm so grateful. It's not just about the grades; it's about the journey of going from struggling to succeeding. Thank God for guiding me through it all.

BSc Computer science in the bag, GOD DID!

Blankent:
Get a pastor or any spirit-fill Christian to pray for your mom and cancel the spirit of depression. It happened to me when I lost my elder brother. For weeks I couldn't get myself until I complained to a sister who is anointed. She prayed over me, and that was how the death of my brother left my mind.

chi4ik4:
So sorry for your loss bro. However: she's not going to be consoled, I lost my mum since 2007 and I still cry till date. It hurts me more now that I have some cash to spend on her but she's no more. The loss of a loved one is perpetual, it hurts and your emotions must react spontaneously.

My sincere condolences.

mikeapollo:
Sorry for the loss of your brother.
One month is too short for a mother to stop weeping and mourning a son who died in his 20s.
Keep consoling her and don't be tired of giving her hope that things will be fine.
Let your father (if alive) get involved in the consolation. Also find time to take her out to comedy events and cinemas where she can watch good films to relax and laugh off some of the sorrows in her heavy heart.
It takes time, but she will be fine.

jogojogo:
I have been reading through our responses and I sincerely appreciate every response of encouragement and suggestion. You don't know how soothing your words have been. I am grateful to the admin for bringing up this post so many can contribute. Thank you so much and may God richly bless you all for your responses

Addme:
You need help, as in serious help. May God heal you.

Addme:
You need help, as in serious help. May God heal you.

earleswood:
I have been seeing a really sweet guy for three months. He is intelligent, fun, considerate, and generous. My issue is that he is a virgin and doesn’t seem very interested in changing that. We are both in our early 30s. I am recently divorced—my husband was a compulsive cheat—and have a 2-year-old son. I have discussed sex with “James” and he said that he originally wanted to wait until marriage for religious reasons, but now doesn’t feel that is necessary, he just wants it to be with the right person. We were making out the other night and I whispered to him how much I wanted him. He said he wanted me, too, but he sounded awkward and unconvincing. He always tells me that we can’t do anything because he doesn’t have condoms, but he hasn’t made any attempts to purchase some. I can tell he is aroused when we kiss, but I’m worried that he just isn’t very interested in sex. That would be tough for me to handle long term. Is it wrong that I expect our relationship to be further along after three months? My friends say I need a man with more heat and passion but I am hesitant to pass up an otherwise great guy.
Please advise as I don't want to squander my time.

jogojogo:
My younger brother passed on almost a month ago after being admitted for 3 month at UCH Ibadan. The young man was in his twenties who just wrote is last paper in February. He was diagnosed of aplastic anaemia and was under medical attention untill he passed on.

The death came to us with deep sorrow and pain. I have tried to move on even though it's difficult. I still cry every day secretly but my biggest concern right now is how to get my mother to move on. She has remain unconsolable as every morning I could hear her cries as early as 4.00am daily. I had to be with her in her room talking to her.

Soon, I will be travelling and I am worried she may never find any reason to be happy.

I have spoken to her in my little wisdom and don't even know what else to be telling her.

I need our advice please on how better to handle this and what can be done to effectively help the situation

Perfectsouth:
As I type this, it's with tears in my eyes.. I am pained, they've done everything bad to me.. Sincerely, I don't deserve this ill treatment have gotten from this family...
It is gonna be a very long read but I know you will learn a thing or two from this..
I might not be able to touch everything but if you feel there is something I need to share and I didn't, point it out and I will shed more light on it....

This may seems a bit lengthy but you should learn one or two lessons from it..
I come from a not broken not memded marriage same as my wife but hers was worse than mine..
My father used to be a rich man. When car dealing was very lucrative, he was a top notch car dealer in akure.. So along the line, he started fornicating. His was on another level, he always take them abroad to sleep with, shop for them and do every every.. We are five in my family, I being the first born..
I had to train myself through university with photography with the help of my mum too. I remember when I was looking for project money, one of my father's wife, the one that went to give birth in Dubai just came back and they were doing naming ceremony.. I could remember I was in the rain with my mum and they were pointing at us, though we couldn't hear what they were saying.. How did I raise my project money? Sponsoring 5 kids wasn't an easy task since 3 of us was in the university. So I went with my to her work place, she was a nurse so we collected all the aprons used during immunization and washed them.. Then I also hustled to complete the money...
It was a very rough and tough life but all along, we didn't even seem like someone who has a father..

Let me jump to the reason for this thread..
I vowed never to allow whatever happened in my family happen to me in the future..
I met my wife when I was in 200 level.. I was 23 and she was 21..

Cc royalroy

Olamidegal:
I am one year and three month old in marriage , my husband elder sister has her shop in front of our house , somehow the land belongs to there late mother who gave it to them .
The problem is my sister inlaw is very intrusive, always trying to have a say in the marriage , one time I have resisted her interference, she reported me to their father who came to the house to warn me that the elder sister is there to be leading both me and my husband in the marriage as an experience woman who is ten years old in marriage , I find this annoying but I just had to keep quiet .her workers do come into my house to pick anything from my kitchen or the room and use it carelessly . One time I got back home and I saw one of the wrapper I use in backing my baby tied arround the waist of one of her workers and I wasn't so cool with it , I told her to wash it and return it for me that I do not joke with that wrapper , she refuses , the next day I saw the wrapper on the floor very dirty and I was very angry I told her to go wash it and return it , she told me she can't cos she's not the only one that uses it and that it's my sister in law that brought it out, I told the girl that she should never enter my house to pick anything again when my sister in law arrived she started blackmailing me with so u cannot leave ordinary wrapper , if you say she shouldn't enter the house that means u pursued me and all..I had to stand my ground it's not just about the wrapper anymore , it's the fact that the girl was rude to me I am 10 years older than this girl and that I insist that she shouldn't enter my house again, she said stuffs like i am rude to her as well so I shouldn't bother about the girl being rude and left . Now she started acting up , but I make sure I greet her everyday and move on , I no longer sit with her or discuss with her sometimes she doesn't answer and sometimes she answer somehow , this girl of hers never greeted me again after that day .
Now the challenge is she had gone to report me to the father as usual , the father calls my husband and I don't know what they discuss but he has stopped talking to me in the house , he's always supporting his family anyway and his father has stopped calling me as well all of the calls themselves from time to time discussing me most times my husband run outside to answer there calls ..was I wrong in my approach, what could I have done better it looks like I am living among people that hate me they all stay close