₦airaland Forum

So why do you call her a slay queen?

internationalman:
It's not that easy to control these day with temptations flying around.

Men in bible didn't even have this much temptation yet they were falling yakata for women.

Well... temptations didn't start today. It has always been there. Were women not "bare breasted" in some parts of Africa in the past? What could possibly beat that today? Yet, sexual immorality is on the rise. I believe morality is dropping primarily because people aren't held accountable anymore. While we're constantly talking about how to raise a girl child, what she can wear, if she can cook, etc., nobody pays attention to the boy child. He's got the laissez-faire to do whatever without restrictions and even gets praised for nailing as much women as possible. Anything against this seen as a threat to masculinity or the masculine freedom. What we fail to realize is that this is counter-productive. If you asked me, the best way to keep immorality at bay is by holding everyone accountable and decrying promiscuity from both genders.

#Opinion.

Chukx01:
The Presidential Candidate of the Labour Party, Peter Obi has landed in Neywork. As expected, it was a total shutdown as thousands of Nigerians welcomed him like a king. Even Nigerian students and top leaders of companies in America came out to listen and interact with him.

OP, the city is not "Newyork" as seen in your title or "Neywork" as seen in the body of your intro. It is "New York".

OP, that's a kilt, not a skirt. It's a man's attire. Stop spreading ignorance, bro. Lol

MatrixReloaded:
Tell her it's not yet her time

Are you saying the OP's thing is a public property? Nawa o

@OP, if you don't consent, tell her off immediately. Touching like that without your consent is disrespectful. You allowing it shows you don't even have respect for yourself. Coming here to ask what to do makes it evident the skull is empty. Ni offense.

SIMONEKPA7:

Waiting for Ndi Anambra to come blame Abakiliki people as usual

I really don't know how you guys feel after doing this. How hardened can one's heart be that you don’t mind sowing discord to this extent? Hhmm...

MYBILLIONS:
My neighbours said "Force-feeding" is called suicide feeding in local parlance. Never heard of it before the incident. But the point is, parent should be very careful as not everyone will be as lucky. For me, it's a lesson we'll learnt

I see. Glad your baby is OK.

The way y'all argue emotionally about OS and phones still amazes me. Why can't y'all just accept that people's preferences differ? Nawa o

dominique:
I never knew force-feeding is also called suicide feeding. It should be called "attempted murder" feeding which sometimes becomes "murder" feeding

Lol... it's not. I'm not sure how the OP came about that expression. It doesn't even fit as the baby isn't doing it to himself or herself.

hedonido:
Don't mind these vulgar savages who know nothing.. Madonna is almost the female equivalent of Michael Jackson. Take a deep breath and process that.

Well said.

ADAMUdaCOWBOY:
Don't mind these children. Madonna o! They should just go and eat their Indomie and down it with some bobo juice.

damosky12:
Oh! There are french threads on nairaland? You mind sending some links?

Btw, how did you learn and for how long?

Sure, there are. Here:

https://www.nairaland.com/5328784/french-language-learners.........get-here

https://www.nairaland.com/4672912/all-tef-candidates-canada-immigration#70227147

Madonna?!?!?!?!?!?

If only these kids on Nairaland knew who we're talking about here, you'd know this is a big deal. It doesn't even matter if you're her fan or not, Madonna's dominance in the music industry back then is comparable to that of MJ and her influence can still be felt till this day. So to a musician like Rema, meeting Madonna and getting compliments from her is huge. It's like a painter meeting Leonardo DaVinci. Leonardo may not mean anything to you, but he definitely means everything to an artist.

damosky12:
Wait... It's like you debated in secondary school.

I can't do this with you abeg. I tire.

That aside, your signature says you teach French. I want to learn o.

Yes, I did debate in secondary school. I didn't even think of it till you mentioned it.

Yeah... I used to teach French as a hobby when I was in Nigeria. Now, I just go to Nairaland French threads to assist those learning whenever I'm free. You should learn, it really does open doors of opportunity.

damosky12:
With these long epistles, you are turning this into a debate. Like I said, the society is ridden with different shades of inequalities.

There are unequal treatment of all genders. Virtually everything you reeled out here quite literally have their fare share of cons for both genders

In this same Africa, boys are expected to be the ones to face the toughest and harshest chores. In schools, boys are subjected to the harshest forms of punishments whilst girls are protected.

Boys/men are expected to be the ones who cater for the family financially and materially; he is a failure if he is unable to do that. Whereas, it's fine if the woman can be jobless and does nothing but harvest from the man's hard work. Isn't this why the female folks today can comfortably sham a man for not being rich while they themselves are penniless.

It's a societal tilt. This is obvious. It's not an advantage of any specific gender.



Man's idea of showing superiority is to help the female folks subvert justice? This isn't plausible!

Well, prisons are a microcosm of the society. Criminals are literally humans like you too. It's discriminatory and demeaning of them to say people in correctional facilities don't represent the female gender.

These prisons posit a vivid picture of our society. The female folks are naturally treated more tenderly. It's just a societal fact! It seems like a systemic discrimination against the male gender. This is what we have everywhere.

Isn't this the philosophy behind the "never hit a woman" rule. When a woman hits a man in public, it feels normal. No one really cares. But when a man hits a woman, he is an jerk. Even fellow men would charge at him.

When war breaks out, even the weakest of men are compelled to take up arms. Women, on the other hand, are protected. The strongest of women have a choice.

Lady, these things are obvious. No need to be infantile with some victim mentality. The society is fraught with fare shares of inequalities on both genders.




Actually, men at the recieving end of Western laws (particularly USA and the UK).

For instance, their court precedents regarding divorce require that both parties equally share of the family's fortunes and properties. Hence, men who have laboured to build a fortune suddenly have to forfeit a reasonable portion of their wealth to a "divorce" mostly initiated by the women in the marriage.

Severally, men have been at the recieving end of the harshness of the law. Read up the story of the Ivorian football, Emmanuel Ebuoe who lost his wealth and career to a divorce...

Society has a fair share of inequalities for both genders. It's rather infantile to pick a side and build victimhood on it.

We can be more humanistic and holistic. Bracket your existential biases and see things for what they are!

Yes, it is a debate. I'm not turning it into one, we both are already debating and there's absolutely nothing with that. Debating is not fighting. And, for on-readers, I will address every point in a longer epistle even if you don't read it or reply. There's unequal treatment. However, if one party wants it to remain this way and would usually call out anyone that seek quality as "bitter feminist", it because the inequality tips in thier favour. Differences are not necessarily inequality. They're only termed inequality when they don't balance out or when there is no justification for thier existence. I went to a military school where girls and boys were punished alike, and boys got more frequently punished because they had a higher tendency to commit offenses. Did the girls die?

You said boys are expected carter for the family and, therefore, they go through a lot. That absolutely is true. And that is the equality I'm talking about. It doesn't really favour the ladies. Making it the responsibility of men to take care of the family takes away the woman's say in how things should go in the family; after all, she's being taken care of. It undermines her need to seek the highest level of education or go out there to explore and build skills; after all, all she needs is a man to take care of her. It makes her leadership skills questionable; women don't take cater for a home, how can you trust them to take care of your business like a man?

Today, even the men have to come to realise that this isn't working, they now want to change the women without realizing that would imply changing themselves too. You hear men say "what is she bringing to the table?" If the current status quo was great, men wouldn't be asking this. The problem is that they don't know that for women to bring something to the table, men have to come home and take turns to do grocery, cook, bathe the kids, do laundry, etc. The society has configured them to make doing these things look like a taboo, so they're stuck. they really need the women to bring something to the table, but they're not ready to live that lifestyle, and that is why they usually have issues with thier wives when they travel abroad.

Again, the prison yard cannot be used to judge because the women that get fair treatment there don't get that simply because the prisoners are fair. They pay with thier bodies. It disgusts me to use that as a comparison, honestly. It's outrightly insensitive and unfair to any hardworking woman. Violence is bad regardless of the aggressors gender. Yes, people have the tendency to support anyone that is physically weaker (you see that in football, in war, in fight, etc). That is because they believe the stronger one could easily defend themself. This does not mean that when you see a visibly stronger woman hitting a man, they'll look the other way. They say 'do not hit a woman' cause men have a higher tendency of beating up women, so the saying had to be specific. But it doesn't mean hitting me is okay just like "black lives matter" does not mean white lives do not matter. It's all about addressing the current status. When the equality I speak of is in place, everyone is protected, men and women alike.

Both men and women fight wars in the military. This shows that when it comes to fighting wars, both genders are good to go. In extreme cases, civilian men of certain ages are drafted in to fight while the women get to decide if they want to. Here is the reason "If a population loses 90% of males in a war or a catastrophe, theoretically, it can be back to its prewar size within one generation. This is because women give birth to babies and not men. While a single male can help conceive a large number of babies in a short period of time, a woman can carry and give birth to only one baby at a time. So if a population loses 90% of males, it could completely recover within a generation. If a population loses 90% of females it is done for. From a population survival point of view men are expendable, women are not. That’s about it. All the other differences and specificities of men (size, strength etc.) are rather irrelevant after this point".

Now, let's talk about the Western world. The law does not say that the man must share "his wealth" with the woman. Rather, it says that a partner must pay the other for "opportunities lost" in the event of separation. Normally, the working or richer partner pays off the non working partner regardless of gender. The amount paid is dependent on the income difference and the reason for that difference. If you marry a graduate, and all she does is stay at home, cook for you, do laundry, clean the house, raise your kids, etc. instead of going out there to make money, how on earth do you think it's justifiable to just wake up one morning and kick her out of that home without a penny? When she has dedicated her life to building this home and lost all her chances of making money out there? If she was not a graduate, which means she wouldn't have made a lot of money anyway, the money you pay reduces. If she was earning less because she had to be home early to do these chores, the money even goes down more. If both of you were earning the same and did equal house keeping tasks, you don't pay a dime. If she earning more and you had to do things like to school run cause she was always busy, she would pay you. If you guys don't want this law to apply at all regardless of the situation, you sign a prenup, and no one gets paid. I can give you a list of famous women who have had to pay thier husbands including Jennifer Lopez. The law is gender agnostic. If men tend to pay more, it's because of the earning gap and that's why you must support getting rid of gender bias.

Gender inequality is dangerous to the society. It does not allow us harness the best of our best. It has negative effects on the growth mindset of our ladies and inhibits them from aiming higher. Today, our men want to be helped at home, but they don’t want to help at home. The problem is that people see it as "they vs us". That is why you assumed I'm a lady. You're obviously trying to defend men against this lady. The herd mentality is not helping. I'm not a lady. I'm a man and I want the gender bias out cause I've seen what a society could be like in the absence of it.

Biodun556:
That governor has no mercy.
Somebody ignore his question and he is still repeating it. Good for him. Journalists form saints on TV and they are not in anyway better than the politicians with their fake news and bigotry.

Journalists don't form saints. They're just doing thier job of asking the questions that put one on the spot. This irrespective of thier own political inclination. Of course, they have thier opinion but they're not supposed to make it obvious thus the reason you think they're forming saints.

Lol... is it that you people don't know the other meanings of the word or you're too homophobic to the point that the word is now a taboo regardless of the context?

damosky12:
This is a parochial view. It's good for us to be temperate with our arguments as much as possible.

We've seen female murderers and criminals pampered and crowned beauty queens while their male counterparts are tortured. This is obvious and it is not "a pat on the back."

The European societies are, for instance, structured to favour the women. Their laws are tilted to pamper women.

In summary, there are inequalities in the society. Some aspects of it tilt to favour the female gender, while some favour the male.

It's rather parochial and fallacious to pick a gender.

First, I was talking about the African society where women are excluded from inheritance; where a man sleeps around with no judgement and the ladies he sleeps with get shamed; where a man could easily bring in another wife at will; where a man can decide to kick out his wife of 20 years who has invested all her time in raising his kids without giving her a penny; where a man cheats and we look the other way, but scream when a woman does; where a man is good to live alone after the age of 18 but a 28 year old woman living alone is called a hoe; where a lady is not supposed to earn more than her man; where women are expected to follow instructions and respectful wives; where certain high positions are reserved for men; where women are expected to learn how to cook and take care of the man while the men pursue thier dreams home and abroad; where single women are not supposed to be too rich or they won't get a man; where women are judged by their dressing; where married women are expected to cut off thier friends after marriage while the men keep thiers; where boys will always be boys and have thier usual evening out while girls are expected to grow into women and come back home early to cook and clean; the list is endless. Let's not even talk about the fate women in the North. You just see these things as normal because, as humans, we only notice injustice when it's against us.

You keep making reference to prison and criminals, what you failed to realise is that treating women with soft hands in prisons is a man's idea of showing superiority. You don't judge the society with the way men treat female prisoners they're probably sleeping with. You don't deny honest women all privileges men enjoy and turn around to tell them you treat the criminal ones better. They don't care how you treat the criminals. Those criminals don't represent the female gender.

And for the West, there's no part of the law that is written to favour women. None at all. What you guys see as favoring women is the absence of the gender biase you're already used to. You can't hit someone or cheat on them or do whatever you like without consequences and this goes to both genders. That's a step towards equality.

You are not on that side of the divide, so I'm not surprised these things aren't apparent to you.

Corridon:
Majority of Nigerians are wicked. That's the fact.

Stretched, but I'm tempted to believe this. When Nigerians come to the West and see how people treat one other with respect, they say "these people are pretenders, we say it the way it is, we don't hide our feelings, we are blunt and we are hardened to take it all". Meanwhile, they're just being mean to each other.

Your first sentence contradicts your title.

Mufakirnaqdiun:
Be like say ISIS dey give these ones back to back,lol
When they are running out of doctors abeg who wan come treat these ones oo,they think say to run country na childs play.

Uncle Sam fit dey fund ISIS for this Kain issue oo,lol.

Conspiracy theories. You'd still rope in the West even after they've left.

OP, the world is "better", not "best". You're comparing two things, so use the comparative.

Back to the question, none is better. Whichever one that makes you fulfilled or gives you what you want (time, money, prestige, etc.), go for it.

Wow! He's so lucky. He could have lost the eye. The street ain't friendly.

damosky12:
You are being unfair now.

If any gender gets a soft landing, it's women. The society naturally are milder towards women.

Have you seen how female rapists and criminals are treated compared to male counterparts?

Please don't divert the thread.

That society is definitely not on Nairaland. If you've spent more than a few months on this app, you'd definitely know how the female gender gets bashed for EVERYTHING. If the female rapists get away, it's because the overamplified masculine ego. The society is not fairer to ladies as you'd like to believe. They only give women a pat on the back like kids while making sure they remain powerless and obedient. That's no being fair, that's superiority complex. When it comes to where equality really matters, women still get the short end, and this is supported by both the religion and the culture.

But of course, let's not derail the thread. Let's love the man who destroyed his marriage. He must be going through a lot.

sweetman2022:
Nawa ooo.. I have my own opinion towards the issue but others might not agree with who I chose to blame, that's why the question is thrown open for you to type yours base on the angle you see it.

OK.

Her heart must have skipped several beats.

Lol... you don't know who behaved childishly, right? It's so difficult to tell who's to blame, right?

When a Nairalander creates a thread asking who's guilty between a man and a woman, just know that the man CLEARLY guilty. When it's truly not clear who's guilty, the normal reaction is to blame everything on the woman. And when the woman is evidently guilty, they drag the entire gender. It's only when a man is guilty that you read questions like "so who is to blame?"

damosky12:
Don't dislike him. He could be going through a lot... In fact, it seems he is. We pray he finds healing...

Always a soft landing for the man. If it was Kim that messed up thier marriage like this, all of you would have shouting women! These hoes are not loyal!! Once a hoe, always a hoe!!! Now, it's the man, and we must not dislike him. We should pamper him and pray for him. Bias.

Stallionhorse:
Clout chasers.. If nah me dey drive pass i go use hand press that her bresss make she know wetin hawkers dey face daily.. Rubbish.

Most of you guys here are not any better than animals. It's only the law keeping you in check. You see a thread like this, and the only thing that comes to your mind is how to sexually harass her. Is this a corrective measure or you just being a gutter child with no self control? It's you guys in streets of Onitsha and Lagos that would see a woman committing a crime and you'd strip her and start groping her pretending its a form of punishment for her crime, meanwhile you're just satisfying your amorous desires. I hope your sisters and women around you are safe cause it's better to live with a frog than have a slimy dirty creature like you around. Disgusting.

As appealing as it may sound, I don't think such incentives will have a significant impact on the crime rare. Normally, you get paid for doing your job, and you get incentives for going the extra mile. Not committing a crime is not an "extra mile". It should be the normal state of things. Giving people incentives for not committing any crime is tantamount to accepting committing crime as the "normal". In other words, people should be given incentives when they go out of thier way to fulfill a social obligation like helping the elderly, etc. But you don't get paid for not stealing, raping or even killing someone. That should be the default state. We are not animals, we don't need treats to behave.