₦airaland Forum

SIRRITE:
How is it madness, u guys keeps complaining about the insecurities and yet not ready to work and help the government tackled it, in foreign countries all phone and all citizen data is with the government just for identification and security measures. Laziness and ignorant is just our problem, go do nin we say no, do national I'd card we say no, how do the government know who is who?.

Please educate me, which advanced foreign country ask citizens to submit their phone IMEI?
Who is Lazy? The government or the governed?

You suffer to register for National ID card, they give you a piece of paper with number and turn around to tell you the card is not neccessary. You apply to get an international travel passport (another form of ID) they tell you no booklet. Why is it that in Nigeria every few months there is a new thing the government wants citizens to come and register?

From your submission, it can be seen that you have never left the borders of Nigeria, perhaps your state too.

If you do not know, a police state is unfolding before your eyes!

Makemefit12op:
More.

Supporting @OP with links to his source and other relevant sources:

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0888325496010002005

http://udi.rs/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/07.-Lyon.pdf

Folks, be getting prepared for winter!

obinna58:
I've been in this situation, I thought I couldn't do without her, I did not break up with her, I only started withdrawing the intense communication to a certain level and surprisingly I started adapting without her again. it's not right giving a girl the mindset that whenever issue arises you'll be the one to succumb, just give her the mind you're ready to settle things if she wants, please don't beg cos you'll be giving her chance to play you more.
Build your emotions this will help you in life.

Beauty is not enough for a girl, she got all I wanted physically which is why I never break things with her, she likes me obviously and hopes one day we'll fall back to our old ways I doubt if that can happen except she changes, the only thing that can sure happen is fvcking each other.

Guy stop wasting your time and resources.
Take a stand and do what is good for you.
Walk away while you still can with minimal damage.
Which "parasite does not obviously likes its host(s) and hopes that the host continues to habour it"?

@ Op
That's the right attitude.
You just didn't fail, you learnt a lot.
Perseverance and continuos research and self improvement are the keys.
You are going places.
Congratulations!

Maxymilliano:
Arresting a man for saying the truth is one of the elements or characteristics of a failed State that is led by failed leaders who do not want their failure to be exposed.

Can the DSS tell Nigerians his offense ?

You are asking his offense??
Some things do not change!
The 80s come to mind.
As it was then, so it looks now.
According to the déjà vu some of us might be feeling now, I will hazard a guess that it is most probably; "utterance(s) that embarasses or likely to embarras a public officer" aka decree no.4 of yore.
Well, let's wait and hear the "official narrative".

Queenlovely:
.dear op

if everything written here is true, I have just one advice for you. Follow the bible

men.
1. Respect his judgment
A man deeply needs the woman in his life to respect his knowledge, opinions, and decisions—what I would call his judgment… many men wished their mate wouldn’t question their knowledge or argue with their decisions all the time. It’s a touchy (and difficult) thing in these liberated days, but what it really comes down to is their need for us to defer to them.
Several men confessed that they felt like their opinions and decisions were actively valued in every area of their lives except at home. Some men felt that their comrades at work trusted their judgment more than their own wives did. Also, while a man’s partners or colleagues will rarely tell him what to do (they ask him or collaborate on the decision instead), more than one wife has made the mistake of ordering her husband around like one of the kids.
2. Respect his abilities
Another strong theme that emerged was that men want—even need—to figure things out for themselves. And if they can, they feel like they have conquered something and are affirmed as men. For some reason, spending hours figuring out how to put together the new DVD player is fun. Problem is, we want to help them—and guess how they interpret that? You got it: distrust. (It’s a wonder any relationships work and that the human race didn’t die out millennia ago!) And, of course, our attention is not all benign. Sometimes we truly don’t have confidence that our man can figure something out on his own.
The little things equal one big clue
We don’t realize that the act of forcing ourselves to trust our men in little things means so much to them, but it does. It’s not a big deal to us, so we don’t get that it’s a big deal to them. We don’t get that our responses to these little choices to trust or not trust—or, at least, act like we do!—are interpreted as signs of our overall trust and respect for them as men.
A man might think of it like this: If she doesn’t trust me in something as small as finding my way along a road, why would she trust me in something important, like being a good breadwinner or a good father? If she doesn’t respect me in this small thing, she probably doesn’t really respect me at all.
The next time your husband stubbornly drives in circles, ask yourself what is more important—being on time to the party or his feeling trusted. No contest.
3. Respect in communication
Women hold an incredible power in the way we communicate with our men (both husbands and sons) to build them up or to tear them down, to encourage or to exasperate. Some things just push a man’s buttons. This goes beyond what we say—such as questioning a man’s judgment or his abilities—and into how we say it (and where we say it, which is the subject of the next section).
The disconnect
In my interviews, a large number of men said something like this: When my wife says something disrespectful, I often think, I can’t believe she doesn’t know how that makes me feel! I had to reassure these men over and over that their wives probably didn’t mean to disrespect he’s absent
Having seen how important public respect is to men (it is almost impossible to overstate), I have become incredibly sensitive to how often we might talk negatively about them behind their backs. The effects are much the same even when a man isn’t present: The women’s disrespect of her husband becomes even more deeply embedded as she harps on it, and those in listening range may begin to feel the same!
5. Respect in our assumptions
Unfortunately, in one area men have every right to read something into what we say—and that is when we have jumped to negative conclusions about them. When we really examine our communication, we’ll be astounded at how often it assumes something bad about the man we love. See if this assumption rings a bell.
We assume, “He needs to be reminded”
To us, repeatedly asking “Have you done it yet?” is probably not a big deal. But inherent in the question is our assumption that the guy needs the reminder—that he is either incapable of remembering on his own or that he remembers just fine but needs our prodding to do the job. What they are accurately hearing is, “I don’t trust you.”
Just realize that his reason for not doing it may be different from yours. Remember, half the men in the survey indicated that sometimes they just have
Shaunti has more great insight into the respect needs of men. This article on how to read your husband’s “disrespect Women ForWomen Only, Revised and Updated Edition: What You Need to Know About the Inner Lives of Men Image Only by Shaunti Feldhahn “A man’s highest need is to feel respect, whereas a woman’s highest need is to feel loved.”

Brilliant submission!
I enjoyed reading your post.
You said a lot of real and deep truths.
Bravo!!
@OP
Think on these words.
A lot was said here.

davien:
Nobody is describing the situation of the op right. Even the op.

You see those young women who aren't serious?

They are the ones who turn into the serious ones after age, family pressure and losing their friends to marriage.

Women know they will always be catered for, they've been given this idea since birth and society mostly supports them.

Since women can now control their own pregnancy which is new to the past 3 generations, we are seeing more and more women opening their legs to more and more men.

Sex is something women don't put much emphasis on because they can have it anytime they want, and now that they don't usually get pregnant following sex, they now start to choose, exchange, double date, party, one night stand anybody they want who fits and can push their emotional buttons.

Now mother nature gave women enticing assets at young ages so she can attract the closest mate possible and bond with him forever(or at least till he died) through the estrogen they release after sex(google female pair bonding).

But because women today monkey-branch from one relationship to the other looking for the perfect 6 feet, handsome, bearded, tall, charming, rich, charismatic, athletic, doesn't watch football and is loyal they sleep with more and more men thinking they can hook the top men eventually with Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, michat lewd pics in a known process called hypergamy(a female trait).

And since social media has created a broader world of men for them who senselessly love and like all their pictures and sponsor any of their stupid, childish or rude request those women have become extremely entitled and now rate themselves higher than they normally would without social media(this is why back in the day a gorgeous woman was also smart and had virtue while being with a hardworking not so goodlooking man as they had little awareness of men outside their vicinity).

Combine with the low quality of life in Nigeria and women who know and have all these suck many men dry and keep multiple men around them(even if it's not for sex), just so they can keep the sense that they are high value and all men must want them.

This constant chasing for higher men crashes at age 26 above when they stop getting as much attention from all of these men and/or realise that these men just want to have sex with them only, the pair bonding ability in them that was supposed to make them follow the only guy having sex with them is also out the window as multiple sex partners makes it hard for females to stick to one partner and hypergamy(the feeling females have to explore) at this stage keeps pushing them to find the best man.

Finally after they've seen "life" and aren't a "small girl" anymore they go to the closest church, give their life to Christ and "change" into a "mature woman" looking for a "God fearing man" that will house them, raise their kids and take care of them. They settle for such men who are yesmen since they couldn't get the "best man"(which is almost impossible by the way statistically speaking, all women can't marry dangote).

Being "serious" with any woman is a risk you're better off not taking as they don't take themselves serious till they're all used up then start pressuring you into being a loyal husband/father with sex, compliments, and before they get married. After that, they gain weight, become entitled yet again as they've known you're stuck with them and then start comparing you with other men.

Not all women are guilty of this, but the traits are universal to those who know them.. I don't know any girl that doesn't want a guy that's equal or more than them in anything. Women date up and will throway your feelings once she feels you aren't up to her.

So now you can marry a used 30 year old who doesn't know how to pair bond anymore and is overly entitled by telling you to be a "man" or you can enjoy a woman who knows herself enough to let you train her into a woman you'd have kids with(with high chance she'll want to "explore" )

All in all, life is short and a womans satisfaction shouldn't be in your mind unless she's earned it.

Your analysis is brilliant and "on the mark"!

Kobicove:
How did this article arrive at the conclusion that "Adultery is common with most Nigerian women"?

This shit is "realer" and more rampant than you might have been thinking.
Is paternity fraud possible without adultery?

Current information places Nigeria as number 2 globally in paternity fraud, behind Jamaica. Do not take my word for it. The links below will give you more clarity.

https://www.thisdaylive.com/index.php/2018/11/08/why-paternity-fraud-in-nigeria-is-second-highest-globally/

https://thenigerialawyer.com/why-nigeria-is-ranked-high-on-paternity-fraud/

https://www.pulse.ng/lifestyle/relationships-weddings/why-is-paternity-fraud-high-in-nigeria-the-answer-to-this-is-complex/9mhtty0

https://thenigerialawyer.com/paternity-fraud-a-concise-demystification/

I do not know what your cousin is confused about.
From your narration this girl ticks a lot of important points.

She is patient, believes in him and his dreams enough to step into the gap for him. According to your narrative her loyalty has never been in doubt. What else can a man seek for? I am surprised that your cousin has found a wife but does not seem to realize it.

I just love the girl's response to all these.

Now to the solution. I will advice your cousin to stop over-thinking things. Life is a journey and I believe he has found a "proven partner" but apparently does not realize it. He should go ahead and marry the girl. If they agree, she might taken.

With these steps it will be easy for him to "extract" his family. In the west, they are usually big on family, and often willing for professionals to re-unite with their family members. He might be surprised with assistance he gets with his employers about this.

This policy should have been in place long before now!

The dollars will eventually end up in the parallel market thus improving the supply. I think it came quite late to be very effective in an easily visible manner. If not for Coronavirus travel restrictions on travel into Nigeria, it could have been more effective.

However, I foresee some reduction in the rate of Naira fall against the dollar at least in the next 8-12 weeks. My prediction for USD: NGN is 500 plus or minus 50 NGN to USD. I am of the opinion that it could have surpassed 600 NGN per USD in this timeframe without this policy.

Sometimes I wonder how our policy makers come to the decisions they announce. It seems to me that these guys are either ignorant or know the right thing to do but do not due to pecuniary or conflicting interests.
Having said this, I will try to briefly highlight in a simple way the sources and evolution of this FOREX wahala specifically in the very recent past.

The Naira is and will continue to be under pressure as long as we continue to import much more goods and services than we export. However, this can be mitigated in the short term by policies that encourage citizens and corporates to lodge and/or invest foreign currencies in the country (non-oil-based FOREX inflows). A long-term strategy would be to increase local production of goods and services and aggressive export drive. Imagine the FOREX savings that will accrue if every litre of fuel consumed locally is produced locally!
In spite of these fundamental problems, ill-thought policies and policy summersaults have continually exacerbated the situation.

Firstly, around 2015 (I stand to be corrected), under the guise of fighting corruption the government started making issues about foreign currencies in domiciliary accounts. The impression was that government might move to confiscate foreign currencies in these accounts and/or force them to be converted to Naira at fiat rates. At a point the banks even stopped receiving foreign currency deposits! Fortunately, the “madness” did not materialize but a lot of people had become cautious. Consequently, many Nigerians in Diaspora who often keep part of their income in the country as FOREX in domiciliary accounts became wary and so did other players.

Secondly, the ban on beneficiaries of FOREX transfers receiving their payments in foreign currency but only in Naira together with the wide disparity in the exchange rates used by the banks in paying beneficiaries and parallel market rates (often in the range of 20-25% difference) ensured that in real terms the sender loses value (in the range of 20-25%) by making a transfer home as opposed to exchanging the funds at the parallel market. This and the continuous slide in Naira ensured that mostly “hot money” came from diaspora. By “hot money” I mean money for immediate and dire needs for family and dependents at home.

The government is already banking on increased remittances from the diaspora during the festive period to help with the recession but I have had my doubts. The significant difference in rates is a dis-incentive. In my opinion the difference if any, between the bank rates and parallel market rates should not be more than 5%.

I am looking at this from a different angle.
In this era of internet people do not seem to understand a few things.

First the school I guess is known to have strict rules and the guy most probably knew this before he enrolled and/or during the course of his study there.

Secondly, your project or thesis defence is a serious academic exercise and the extant school rules applies whether presencial or virtual. It is actually an examination.

Thirdly, the use of recording devices are mostly not allowed in an exam environments. Whosoever posted this video on the internet is apparently lacking in both wisdom and workplace ethics. Recording people without their consent and publishing same is bad. Recording your bosses and superiors and publishing it is worse.

Whoever published this does not wish the guy involved well. If this is published by the guy involved or with his approval, I conclude that the guy may not have imbibed the "discipline" the professor was attempting to get him to appreciate. I hope he does not carry this over to a work environment!

englois:
I stand to be corrected though.
It could be because of
1. Weight
2. Body/Mouth odour
3. I'm sorry to say this but maybe you are the kind of person who doesn't like corrections cos you believe you are always right. Hence, all corrections usually lead to arguments.
4. Maybe you carry religion for head pass Jesus and do not really submit to your husband
5. Jazz

Madam, the bolded (#3) might most likely be the answer to your question.

Think back, Did your man complain about anything repeatedly?
What was your response to this repeated complaint?
Was it waved aside or was it addressed?
He might have waited for a desired change or adjustment that never came and decided to take a walk.

I know more men than not are generally logical.
Some guys especially the quiet ones do not have time for nonsense or too much talks and quarrels that lead nowhere. Some ladies too are like that. When such spouse is wearied and walks, the other party might think there was no cause. I think there was an old country song about this. If I remember the song, I will try and leave a link.

There is always a cause! Get to the root and then you can resolve the problem.

@OP
This matter is straightforward.
There is nothing to think here.
Please call the girl and her family and ask how you can help, and help them fast.

You see, there is one thing men do not play with; loyalty.
This lady has been loyal to you, shown commitment to your success, made sacrifices to see you succeed.
It will be so wrong for you to be aware that her family is passing through difficult times and you fail to act, even if she did not tell you.
If you are capable and she is willing, try and "extract" her from where she is.

True friends are proved in rough weather.
That girl has "proved" herself to you, and you know it.
Never allow anybody to outdo you in good deeds.

As for your present girlfriend that is giving you ultimatum on money she does not know how it was made, I just want to say that is a very red flag you should not ignore.
She appears to be extremely selfish and incapable of supporting you to make the right calls. Such has brought the many men to ruins. Beware!

jaxxy:
Possibly right and I agree with him to a large extent BUT where was this man when Jonathan, Diezani and others where running this country to the ground??

This is my grouse with all these sudden corruption analysts/activists and what have you.

Stop embarrasing yourself.
Search the internet and be informed.
Dr. Farooq Kperogi can not be described as a/or one of the "sudden corruption analysts/activists".
He did not fail to speak out severally during Jonathan era.
In fact, unlike some that foresaw the disaster of the present leadership, he vocally supported the present administration to power until it started to become evident that the "promise of change" is more or less a mirage and more of a "change of promise".

Johnson5258:
Please try and understand the concept. You don't have to possess the card but the number, so your number which is exclusive to you will always provide your information anywhere.

Also, they're trying to cut cost, people die everyday and also give birth, the card is useless when the citizen is dead, therefore government has to keep paying for it, even if they produce the card some are dead too which government doesn't know about. Please let's try and understand the government sometimes before criticizing them.

It's a good idea to me.

I am tempted to ask if these are really you opinion or what you are paid to say?
I wonder how people try to defend a daft proposition.

They have come with big-words and big concepts that only work on paper.
I know many people do not understand the dangers, folly, and disadvantages of this concept of submitting your DNA to government when you are not a felon or crime suspect.

The concept is not cost effective as you are trying to suggest. It is another white elephant project and an apparent "good opportunity" to "waste" more billions at a time Nigeria is cash-strapped.

Let me take your points one by one;
"You don't have to possess the card but the number, so your number which is exclusive to you will always provide your information anywhere."

Please is BVN not a unique number? Is NIN not a unique number? Are these not unique and exclusive again? Are they not linked to your facials and finger prints? Let me not talk about driving license and Nigerian passport here.

Nigerians need to ask some questions. How many numbers must a Nigerian have to be identified and identifiable? What is the identification practice in the most advanced countries? Do you know the file size of one person's DNA on the disk? How does it compare with the storage requirement for facials and finger prints? Actually, storage cost for DNA is much higher than facials and finger prints which is standard practice worlwide. Acquisition and processing time for one person's DNA is in tens of hours compared to a few minutes for facials and finger prints. You also need highly skilled staff for DNA acquisition and processing. Who will pay for this? The government? The citizen?, or some "dark interests"?

"Also, they're trying to cut cost, people die everyday and also give birth, the card is useless when the citizen is dead, therefore government has to keep paying for it, even if they produce the card some are dead too which government doesn't know about."

Government issued identification cards are for a fixed duration worldwide. On expiration cardholder requests for and presents him or herself for a renewal (often for a small fee that covers all or most of the costs of card production). New identification cards are not issued automatically and government does not pay for it. So they are not trying to cut any costs.

To give you an idea of the cost of acquiring and processing DNA for identification, compare the cost of a paternity test (which is currently in the range of 60,000 to 120,000 NGN). The process of DNA acquisition is somehow akin to the PCR tests for the current COVID-19 tests. With all the donations from within and otside the country, how mant PCR tests did the government carry out in the last 4 months out of a population projected at 200 million. How many PCR machines do we have? What is the cost of one PCR machine? Let me not talk of primers, etc.

Talking about dead people, culling of dead people from citizen database is a data management issue which is best tackled by a robust death and birth registration system.

I hope you can now see that you are not informed enough to comment or castigate people for opposing this white elephant and wasteful proposition.

Having addressed the point you raised, I want to go a bit further to shed some light on the security implications of your DNA being in the hands of just anyone. The government said they will involve private partners (who are these partners?). This means that access to your DNA is not exclusive to the government! This is dangerous. I guess the prominent people in government possibly looking at money and "chanting" this concept do not realize what a rogue scientist or state actor(s) can be able to do with access to their DNAs as par "bio-terrosism" and "targetted assasinations"

Sometimes I wonder who advises these guys.

In summary this is another wasteful white elephant project with significant personal security implications. This is akin to a country that has not developed capacity to launch a satellite into space planning a manned mission to Mars.

LewsTherin:
In the old days in school, hanging out with some girl around lunch time.

Me: girl, are you hungry?
Girl: (trying to be coy) not really
Me: ok. Wait for me, I'm going to the canteen to eat. I'll meet you here when I'm done.
Girl: (surprised pikachu face)

2nd day
Me: gurl, are you hungry?
Girl: (remembering the previous day) yes oh. I am quite hungry
Me: ok, go to the canteen, I'll meet you here when you get back.


There are many ways to skin a cat.

Guy na wah for you!
You should have issued a warining before posting this.
See as laughter wan tear my belle!!

On NGN

https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2020-07-04/nigerian-central-bank-devalues-naira-by-5-3-at-currency-auction

TLAX:
I am not so sure NSE and many emerging markets will be impacted directly from this money printing. While these markets have offered returns over and above what is obtainable from Europe and North America, the uncertainties around exchange rate, CBNs next move and inability to get the monies out of the country will be a major dampener. The guys are not walking their talk of easy exit for foreign investors. The monies trapped here for now cant give the market the kind of push it needs.

By December 2020, If the index gets back to 29k+ where it was in January 2019 i will consider a decent performance. Isolated stocks may however shine during the remainder of the year. At least M&A in the works should create opportunity for people.

I agree with your position.
I think it is most probably one of the important factors affecting stock prices on NSE at the moment.
Infact with the current exchange rate regimes one loses about 15-20% sending FX to Nigeria.

Amya:
Family issues like this is really dicey. How csn i tell him his sister is trying to scam us? I did the best i could do in such situation by shutting the whole thing down. I heard she actually collected some money from my co wife for same job and when it amounted to nothing, she blamed the recruitment process. Las las, she's family, you can't beat her or arrest her

Dangerous people!
@OP
Please do not continue to flog yourself.
In this matter you acted wisely.
Your actions protected your husband's funds, even though he might not realize it at the moment.
See their actions as "tantrums" because their plans were frustrated.

MissEfe:
Someone should pls teach me how to download the poem.

You can use this: https://ymp4.download/youtube-mp4/
You just need to copy and paste the URL of your desired web video.

emmaodet:
Mr Excellent 77, you seem to share my comments occasionally, how are you doing?

I am fine, and you?

Do not give up.
Your research proposal does not need to be so long.
Even if it is a 2 page document you have, edit it so it makes sense and submit.
The research proposal could be to demonstrate that you can identify a research problem and draw up viable strategies to resolve the problem.
Goodluck!

@OP
Providing more information on your Bachelors and Master degree areas will be useful to guide you appropriately.
Opportunities for funded PhD in your area might be available.
Do not be desperate.
Emigrating requires well thought out steps.

Acmepreneur:
1. Loving prospect is different from loving money. I love success not money.
2. I'm not forcing him on anything, hes the one that always say how he hates the country and want to leave. Mine is that he should work on it because each time he says he hates the country, it hurts me so bad because hes not doing anything to actually achieve that

3. I'm not trying to change him, I'm only trying to make him walk in the path he says he likes. I'm a realist as well, there's no where he would see 2m to start a business. Hes the one that says he can't work under anyone all the time, so if you know you hate working under people, then you build independence gradually while working

4. Hes the one that complain hes tired of his living, hes the first son, and have many responsibilities. Should I just watch him continue to complain and rants? Won't I be the one to suffer it because he would choose to spend for his family than our children and me. I will also choose my mum over anyone, so I understand him choosing his family. The only way out is for him to have enough that he would be able to spend for his family and myself with his children.

If I should take to you now, I should continue to watch him complain and not do anything about it. The worst is that he hates deep discussion or to start talking on important things. I'm even tired, I won't lie to you.
I know what I want, and I know it's not someone who doesn't strive for his relationship

@OP
To be honest you are not on the same wavelength with him.
Your perspective is different because you are standing on different platforms.
I have learnt to pay more attention to what people say and more attention to what people do are willing to do.
I have had much experience on people that rail about their circumstances but not willing to "stretch out their hands" to be helped or venture outside their comfort zones
The red flags are showing now.
The guy is not likely to become the proactive guy you desire and might soon begin to resent you as too pushy.
While you are at it, make sure to "push" and improve yourself to be a "success" yourself.
If things are how you are saying it your best path may be to walk away.

Nadoson1:
The poster said Electrical Engineering, I believe THERMODYNAMICS should be Mechanical Engr. option, REFRIGERATION option precisely

Your assertions are not wrong.
However, to the best of my knowledge Mass & Heat Transfer/Thermodynamics is/was part of the curriculum of most engineering courses (sort of a faculty course i.e. common to all engineering students) and usually taken in the second year of the 5-year programme.
In my perspective many Nigerian first degree programmes are "expansive".
Hence, I am not surprised than any student that is disciplined enough to genuinely get a second class degree excels abroad.

Monfeels:
I want to share my problem with you guys in the hopes that maybe I'll get some good advice or at least some insight into my problem.

When people first meet me their impression of me is that I'm good looking, cool and intelligent. Most girls usually assume that I have a girlfriend or a legion of side chicks that I Bleep whenever I want to.

The truth about me is that I've never been in a proper relationship with another woman before. All I've had is sexual partners that I stop talking to after I have sex with them, and girls I get intimate with just to control them and get them to fulfil my desire of having a female to own, please me and do my biding, and then I get bored of them and cease contact and move on like I never knew them.

The reason for this behavior is that I don't possess the emotional resources needed to engage in a healthy relationship with another human being. I have no empathy and I usually feel no guilt or remorse for my actions. It's impossible for me to care genuinely for another person. I don't feel people's pain or suffering and I'm not moved by the death of family members or friends. I simply do not care for any other person but myself. I've been this way for a very long time. I lack the ability to maintain relationships with people hence why I lose friends often. Relationships are usually a means to an end for me and when that end is met, I become irritated by the person I've gotten close to.

Despite the fact that I don't see the point in relationships, I still find that I get jealous of couples in healthy relationships. It's not like I want to experience what they experience, just that I am envious of the fact that they are participating in something I can't participate in.

When I find a girl that I want to get close to, I'm usually consumed with jealousy over her previous relationships, and over any current relationship she has with any member of the opposite sex, even if it's merely platonic. All I want is for her to devote all her time to me and shower me with attention and love. The problem with all this is that I don't want to reciprocate this behavior. In fact the idea of devoting attention to, and showering affection on someone else irritates me. It's all pointless, but I enjoy when it's done to me.

Another weird side to all this is that I don't just want to control the girl, I also enjoy making her feel bad, but in a way that makes her crave for me more. I enjoy poking holes in herself esteem, making her second guess the presumably good qualities she thought she possesed, making her not feel wanted by me, and making her do more to please me.

I don't love women, I only become obsessed with them. Obsessed to the point that I'm constantly tortured by thoughts of them being sexual with another guy especially when it's someone she has dated before. I want her all to myself and even if she had sex with someone before I met her or before we became close, I am filled with anger and jealousy whenever the thought crosses my mind, and I want to punish her for that. It's like I want to erase her past and replace it with me. I want to be all she's ever had. I don't want anyone else in her life and I don't want anyone else in her past.

All this must sound crazy to you guys but this is my reality and it's eating me up. I need advice.

@OP
This is big and the way it is you can not have a proper relationship not just with a woman but with anyone.
The good thing is that you seem to realize that this is "improper".
That is a good first step.
Do you seek a change?
Are you worried about it?
If that is the case, you will do well to seek professional help from an experienced physologist.
Good luck!

@OP
Does what you wrote here make sense to you?
I hope this is just a joke.
I would describe your actions as "coronated stupdity".
You do not realize that you are setting yourself up for a big fall.
Learn to say No!
You agree to habour a girl with a pregnancy that is not yours?
You do not realize what you are getting into.
Have you stayed around a pregnant woman before? a sister, cousin, or in-law before?
Since you like handling problems that are not yours let me tell you the most probable scenarios.
How do you convince a reasonable person that the pregnancy is not yours in the light of your actions.
If anything happens to her in your house, you could lose your liberty because no reasonable person will believe that a young man would decide to habour a woman with a pregnancy that is not his.
Infact you have made yourself "the impregnator that absonded". This would be the girl's family's position as they deal with your stupidity.
One way aou of the web you have spurn for yourself is to involve your Mum or your sister if you are two weak to send her out of your house.

@ OP
Take time and carefully read through all that he has documented.
It is a bequest and you are most likely to get some insight.

Quite insightful!

With so much demand for face masks, it is obvious the medical mask will be scarce.
People buying masks should endeavour to wash in water containing dis-infectant and drying before use.
A good and relatively approach may be to soak in soapy water to which some bleach has been added for a couple of minutes.
With appropriate precautions a masks should be better than no mask.

Libya of all places!
@OP, Please save your cousin from calamity which could be in form of enslavement, forced prostitution, organ harvesting or death.
Libya is a place not to go.
News from that place for africans have been awful.
See the links below for more information:

https://www.aljazeera.com/programmes/thestream/2017/12/25555-200325192922748.html

https://www.msf.org/libya%E2%80%99s-cycle-detention-exploitation-and-abuse-against-migrants-and-refugees

https://time.com/longform/african-slave-trade/

https://www.aljazeera.com/indepth/features/rape-abuse-violence-female-migrant-journey-libya-200119111813822.html

https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2018/01/videos-expose-torture-african-refugees-libya-180123140527920.html

https://www.voanews.com/middle-east/scarred-libya-abuse-migrants-hope-new-life-europe

Adanairaland:
He doesn't have to worship her.
No, she is not going to leave him for being too soft.

She might be going through alot but doesn't want to speak up. Something is really making her sad.

No be Everytime Una go dey form Alpha Male for relationship..

Someone here said she might be suffering from SCHIZOPHRENIA which might be true.

People like her needs special attention and help like the way children suffering from AUTISM needs special attention.

Op, Seek medical advice �
If you love her, help her!

Don't use abusive words on her.
Whenever her mood changes, let her be.


@CAPSLOCKED how are you sure if he dumps her, he will find someone without any flaw? How are you sure the next won't give him headaches?

You think say Women dey come complete?�

Your kind of advice fit break relationship �

Your "projections and deductions" seem to confirm one thing.
That the subject matter is most probably not a "fit and proper person" for a long term relationship.
Who will want to start a longterm relationship with people like her that need special attention and help like the way children suffering from AUTISM needs special attention.
@OP, be guided!