₦airaland Forum

pongwa:
Dig a pit and Bury your pride now. Your father is not your enemy, Your ego and sense of entitlement are.

There's a certain stage a man will get to and it's expected of him to be able to carry his weight. When he can't do so for whatever reason, he will be looked down upon even by his own family ...

And the OP's outburst could be a consequence of that ... No man I know wants to be in a position of dependence when he has come of age, none! ...

It isn't about ego or entitlement, it's just the way things are ...

And please could you tell me what exactly about his post points to the fact that he has pride, and ego and is entitled? ...

@OP
Copywriting and freelancing are a good place to start, those skills pay well ... All you need to do is to get a course from reputable sites like Udemy and implement them. In a couple of months, you should be able to start seeing some cash ...

Also, Social media marketing (especially running Facebook ads for folks) and data analysis (final year students in uni must run their project) could be great too ...

If you need any of these courses, send me a PM, and I'll have them sent to you for a small fee. All courses I'll give to you are from Udemy - and as you well already know, Udemy is a reputable site ...

A man possesses the qualities of a good husband and you disqualified him all because of his looks? ...

He provides for your wants...
He treats you well...
He puts up with your excesses...

And yet his only issue is that he's not tall enough or fine enough?

When have you ever heard anyone saying that it's a man's height that makes the marriage work? Or it's his fine face that makes the marriage work? ...

This is how y'all women will pass on, on men that truly care for you for irresponsible men, simply because these men don't meet some ridiculous physical standards that you have in your heads ...

Truth is that the things that make marriages work are not physically based, they're majorly character-based ...

But it's your call ....
Since this is a deal breaker for you, then tell him off ...
My most sincere prayer for you is that you know what you're doing ...
If you're a believer, you should seek the face of God on this matter ...

Jewessgratitud3:
20k sound you like big money for ear abi? No go hustle you hear?

It's not about the money sir, it's the idea behind it ...

I sha am happy for your sister, I think he's madly in love with your sister so try and make things easy for him, so some greedy kind men don't take advantage of him ...

Sadly, what she said is the reality of things ...
Nice guys eat the crumbs that bad guys leave behind ...

However, don't change your personality on account of this ...

Be yourself, but don't allow yourself to be manipulated by any female ...

Omorr...
If they make the mistake of causing a scene, throw them asap ...

That you and I have history together doesn't give you the right to come and try to ruin my special day - after all I didn't r.ape you and everything se.xual was mutual so why fuss? ...

They should understand that they're not worth doing life with and take the L and move on! ...

This is the most u.seless post I have come across in a while ...

First of ...
All this talk of "blame the men in her past or her actions" is trash! ...

An adult female chooses to act like a demon-possessed fellow and rather than hold her responsible, you're blaming the men? ...

It is precisely because we make excuses for a woman's excesses and do not hold them accountable that they keep acting like this ...

Secondly...
The idea that "without a woman, there's no success" is delusional! ...

If anything, it should be the other way around, cause last I checked, the top 10 richest women in the world are only rich either by inheritance from their dad (a man) or divorce from their husbands (a man) ...

And hope you know, that the top richest men in the world, most of them don't have a woman in their lives ...

Thirdly...
All this talk of "beating a woman" is a taboo is premium nonsense! ...

I will never lay a hand on a woman (or anybody) on a whim or over issues that can be resolved by communication ...

But if anyone makes the mistake of assaulting me, I will fight back to the best of my abilities regardless of the gender of the assaulter ...

Seeing the comments of some people here makes me shake my head ...

First of...
The stereotype that Nigerian society treats men better than women is not necessarily true! ...

If you report a man for abuse here in Nigeria, he will certainly get what's coming ...

No law tells a woman to stay and tolerate abuse in a marriage, none! ... Women choose to stay in abusive marriages for reasons best known to them ...

Secondly...
The stereotype that it is "bad men" that get ruined by women is trash! ...

Let's be real here, if there are any sets of people on earth that get taken advantage of the most are supposedly "good people" ...

Ask yourself a question, if the men there really did maltreat their wives that bad or are the beast that we're painting them to be, why on earth will they take their wives to a country where they know she can ruin their lives in return? ...

I mean...
If I've been terrible to you, it will be fo.olishness to take you to a place where you can ruin my life with just a snap of your finger ...

So those men whose lives have been ruined by women are not necessarily the problem here - the women are. Yes, the men may not be perfect, however, not all cases such are this are the men to blame ...

Thirdly...
It's no news that women in general are naturally abusers of power - they can't handle it ... Even here in Nigeria, a woman in power is far more likely to abuse it than a man ...

Check out military females ...
Check out most female bosses ...
Who is most likely to brutally abuse the maid? A man or a woman? ...

So I'm not surprised that women act that way when they go there ...
It's just their nature ...
They can't handle power and as you well already know, the laws of the West give women so much power it makes men look like second-class citizens ...

So, dear men, it is fo.olishness to take a woman abroad - no matter the amount of Illusion love you have ...

There's too many cases of men having their lives ruined on account of trying to better the lives of women ...

Fiscus105:
Have u fed ur mouth satisfactorily can you maintain ordinary girlfriend let alone one wife? Does anybody stop people not to polygamy?

Did you even know your own gender correctly

Only fo.ols "maintain" girlfriends ...

Tbh, almost every demographic of men across the globe says the same thing about Nigerian women ...

Nigerian women have got to deal with their parasitic nature, because it's slowly becoming their identity ...

Actually she's the cheap one here ...

Men naturally will put their sticks in any hole FREE OF CHARGE! ...

The fact that she had to pay him for something that most women get for free is proof that she's really undesirable and it took money to make the man even want to go down with her ...

Such women are really pathetic! ...
Imagine paying for something any other real woman can get just by winking her eye lids ...

Seun:
I would like to address the allegations on Twitter about tribalism on Nairaland or that I am some kind of tribalist, because I was told that not addressing them means that they are true.

The more extreme variants of that claim are being pushed primarily by south-eastern tribalists who feel that south-western tribalists have the upper hand on Nairaland in their battles with each other.

Whenever they are banned after breaking rule 2 of Nairaland, they will go back to Twitter to lament about how Nairaland is against their tribe and how I'm personally working against them.

I urge you to disregard any accusation against me or against Nairaland if the accusers cannot prevent hard evidence to support their claims. These people make things up, and people just believe them.

For avoidance of doubt, I have always been a supporter and admirer of south-eastern people. I will never have any tribalistic bone in my body. I am a human who views people as humans first.

The micro-kernel of truth in the mountain of lies is that Nairaland is under-staffed. The staff I have do not moderate as efficiently as I want them to. They also struggle with following my instructions.

So if you go to Nairaland looking for tribalism, you will find it in certain areas, just as you will if you search Twitter for tribalism, because of people whose main business online is tribal trolling.

However, I want Nairaland to be better than Twitter. I want to improve the consistency of moderation on Nairaland. For this reason, I am in the process of recruiting more people to help.

Good day to you sir...
You may not be tribalistic, but the fact that you have allowed it to continue could be misinterpreted to mean that you are - deal with yours mods sir! ...

Secondly...
Let's talk bout religion for a second...
Why do I have to "swear and oath" on my profile saying that "allah is god", but yet someone from the other religion don't have to say that Jesus is God, but they can comment freely on a Christian thread to say trash? ...

It gives the impression that you think that, that religion is better than the other ...

I mean, if a Christian isn't allowed to comment on a Muslim thread without swearing an oath, then no Muslim should be allowed to comment on a Christian thread without having "I believe that Jesus is the Son of the only true God" or best still, remove the restrictions on either ...

Having it any other way is not only unfair, but it'll give room to foster the mindset of religious supremacy and I'm certain a man as intelligent as you are should know how things could spiral on account of this ...

You've done a very great job with this forum sir, don't allow things like this cause this forum to lose its credibility ...

Pmedia7787:
Try and correct this part where you said the person should learn freelancing,
That's not a skill

Knowing how to effectively market your product or services to foreign companies & clients that you've never met, so much so that they trust you enough to give you their money is a skill in itself sir ...

Uchenna10:
Pls can u put me thru this?

Honestly sir...
I'm too occupied to teach anyone tbh ...
(I'm basically into writing & freelancing though)

But if you're interested in any of them, I could offer you a very good professional course from Udemy for half the price you'll see on their official website...

My advice? Go for copywriting (it's a very high-demand skill) and freelancing (this will teach you how to market your skill effectively) ...

If you follow my counsel and get those two courses, I'll throw you a third professional Udemy course of your choice FREE OF CHARGE (that's the best help I can render to anyone right now)

Hit me up if this sounds good to you...

Illegal1:
omoh.........alryt boss,i'll let u knw wen i'm ready..

tnx boss

No wahala chief...
I'm just a PM away...

Am I the only person who recognized the sarcasm & irony of her post? ...

Illegal1:
omoh.........boss man,hw u teach me any of them?

Honestly sir...
I'm too occupied to teach anyone tbh ...
(I'm basically into writing & freelancing though)

But if you're interested in any of them, I could offer you a very good professional course from Udemy for half the price you'll see on their official website...

My advice? Go for copywriting (it's a very high-demand skill) and freelancing (this will teach you how to market your skill effectively) ...

If you follow my counsel and get those two courses, I'll throw you a third professional Udemy course of your choice free of charge (that's the best help I can render to anyone right now)

Hit me up if this sounds good to you...

Animegirl:
Please how can I raise 300, 000 naira without asking money from men or my parents from now to January 31st as a student?

Affiliate marketing
Copywriting
Ghostwriting
Freelancing

Any of these skills can give you that much within the shortest period that is, if you know what you're doing ...

What other inputs do you need OP ...

Madam just told you that if both of you marry she will cheat on you, so what's the P? Abi do you want her to dash you another man's child? ...

You're seeing clear danger sign and instead of you to walk away immediately, you're asking for inputs ...

Abeg abort now while you still can, before you'll come and open another thread saying how you walked into your another man pounding your wife and how DNA confirmed that your 5 kids belong to your gate man ...

OP I dunno whether or not Wainey is a troll, but one thing I know is that that dude be speaking facts ...

Whilst I understand your perspective which has some truth in it, you need to understand that there is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING wrong in giving money to the girl you're in a relationship with or any girl for that matter ...

The only issue I have with most guys is that they do it to the detriment of themselves and they don't show that same energy to their families, that's what I frown at ...

But alas!
We're not in a position to tell another man what to do with his hard earned money ...

Since a man is expected to "earn" a woman's respect in a relationship, then it's high time men start making women earn their love ...

And besides...
Why should I bother to earn a woman's respect when I can just as easily get a girl who's just naturally respectful towards me ...

The only thing I'm killing this Christmas is my appetite, cause I'm not a murderer ...

All of those folks above me saying that the OP should mind his business and that he doesn't have right to be upset since it's his wife family...

I hope y'all will maintain the same energy when there's issues in his wife's family and he blatantly refuses to help ...


One thing some of y'all haven't understood is when you marry, you don't just marry the girl, you marry into her family!!! ...

So whatever is done in that family will somehow somehow affect you in one way or the other, so I dunno about you guys, but as for me whatever has the ability to affect me in ANY WAY is my business!! ....


Oga OP...
I believe that a man should within the best of his abilities extend a hand of fellowship to his inlaws where possible, so if I was in your shoes I would do my due diligence to my inlaws ...

However, if in the future I am called upon to support in any way that will cause me the slightest bit of inconvenience, I won't hesitate to remind my beloved wife that "it's their family thing not mine" ...

I can't marry into a family that st.upid ...

But since e no dey show for face and it ever happens, I'll have her arrested for mutilating a child and if that doesn't work, then I'm sure what's good for the goose will also be good for the gander ba? ...

Well over 90% of men would smash that lady without thinking twice, so it's no biggie ...

Ladies shouldn't be feeling fly that men want to nack, it's nothing special, cause men will nack almost every girl who allows them to ...

The main thing is how many men think you're worth keeping? ...

Cause I bet you, all those men who are shouting smash upandan would have a different response when you ask for their commitment ...

Anything above 2 ...

BusterG:
I do not have issue kicking out his wife or girlfriend BUT I'm very displeased with kicking her out with a CRYING child.

Seeing that Child in trauma really upset me, imagine the risk on a busy road

No matter the issues you have with women, plus try not to bring little children into your drama.

Not good.

You've said all @bolded ...

Let's say my dad was killed by a drunk driver, and so I go out there with my car and start killing drunk people - is that acceptable? Will I be held responsible? ...

Or let's say I was raped as a child and so on account of that I go about raping every child around me, is that okay? Is that a good enough reason to do so? ...

Or let's say a girl dumps a guy because the guy was broke and so the guy goes down the path of a ritual.list just to make money, it's girls fault abi? ...

Well...
In case you haven't gotten the memo by now, lemme spell it out for you ...

Women are wayward simply because THEY CHOOSE TO BE WAYWARD!! Nothing more! ...

It's high time we start holding women accountable for their shortcomings and stop shifting blames upandan ...

How can an adult female decide to go about taking men for granted and rather than hold her accountable for her BS, you start blaming the man, how? ...

I understand that situations could influence a person's actions, however, the ultimate decision to act a certain way is still a CHOICE ...

Just as it wouldn't be okay for me to go about raping folks because I was raped, it's also not okay for you to take people's emotions for granted because you got played in the past ...

Women are wh.ores because they want to be wh.ores, not because of any man out there abeggie ...

So please allow men to breathe bikonu and hold the women accountable ...

When it comes to dating and intersexual relationships, men age like wine and women age like milk ...

As you already know, a wine gets sweeter with age, but an old milk is good only for the waste bin ...

So yes, the older a man gets, the more attractive he becomes and vice versa for women ...

However, oga FACE FRONT!!!!!! ...
You're a married man for crying out loud, do right by your wife and zip up ...

And besides...
They all turned you down for another man in the past, which means you were NEVER their first option, you're just a guy they could fall back on if the man of their dreams break their hearts ....

Sincerely man, I'm surprised that you're not irritated by the fact that they're coming back to you ...

She said no man wants to marry her despite her beauty and shape ...

It's so sad that lots of women think like this ...
In their minds, once they look beautiful and have shape, it means they're eligible to be wired up - how pathetic! ...

Ladies understand that your beauty and shape gets you fu.cked and attention at best, being a wife will take farrrrr more than that ...

So come back and complain when no man wants to marry you despite your intelligence and character and then I'll know you mean business ...

Miyachi:
This is an unhealthy opinion.
It is not clear that OP has made his wife doubt his fidelity in any way.
He doesn't have control over his wife's mind and I feel her insecurities probably stem from issues unrelated to the OP. It would be wrong to blame him for that.
At best OP should seek professional help through counselling for his wife or jointly through a couple therapy.

I thought I was the only person who saw that opinion as unhealthy ...

If it was a case where the man has cheated before, then it's understandable why she would act this way - infact I would be very surprised if she didn't act this way ...

But it's not clear if he has cheated...
From what he says, she has access to everything accessible (phone, laptop, mails, chats, aza)...

So if she still feels insecure after all that, then I can't say it has anything to do with the OP, I can infer that the OP's wife has issues that requires a therapist ...

KanuSE:
It's important to note that the behaviour/attitude of your spouse can unsettle you, as such, brings insecurity. The burden is on the couple to always reassure each other by showing care, love and respect.

As far as marriage/relationship is concerned, both need each other to function properly.

I totally agree with this, no arguments ...

From my understanding of the OP's post, it doesn't seem like his actions is the major cause of her insecurities ...

It seems like the insecurities are already there from the onset, which makes it a her problem - that is fast becoming a them problem (sighs) ...

But like you said, reassurance would work, I pray for a God like patience to come upon the OP in this trying times ...

Cause believe me when I tell you that it's really frustrating when you're actually innocent and yet all your actions continually raises eye brows ...