₦airaland Forum

Kolawole2130:
We have been married for 3 years now. We stay in a self contained apartment. He tries as much as possible to pay his bills while I support him too with paying the bills.

Since we married, anytime I talk about childbearing he gets angry. Like he may not talk to me for days. I will be the one to come and beg him later. He says his not ready to start bearing kids that he wants to have enough money to take care of the kids. He says he doesnt want his children to suffer.

I am so pissed off, I am 32 now and he is 35 and he earns 100k while I earn 70k. Is that not enough to raise a family. Plus age is not on my side he doesnt look like he will be ready in a year time again. Am already getting tired and people around me are getting married. No body can even talk to him. His mind is made up already.

The last fight we had he said i can go and divorce him if i cannot wait till he is ready. He is busy reading for professional exam instead of him to be thinking of how to produce seed. Professional exam that will last another 2 years. His family can't even talk to him. Am just frustrated already.

madam better relax ,you have been having sex with your husband and all this while no pregnancy madam you might have fertility issues dont overflog it ooo my own 2 cents

Landmack:
beating up a child in a formal set up is barbaric,when he/she aint a beast of burden. there are mild punishments used in correcting a child. Those of u that were beaten and heads dipped in a pit latrine in school, turned out to be the most vile,emotionally unstable and evil beings here online and offline.

since the teachers can’t discipline them without been intimidated by their parents atleast the kids are now beating themselves to death I think that is a better option Rada rada

DIKEnaWAR:
See, if we all don't join hands to fix this country, it will consume us all. Rich people took their kids to an "upscale" school that they thought will be insulated from the vagaries of our hard knock life and ghetto disposition, but it turned out to be the biggest ghetto.

Small kids killing another like terrorists are the kinda fate rich Nigerians ascribe to the hoi poloi. But, they forget we all live in a big mad house in Nigeria. No one is insulated from the madness...both rich and poor.

Close the school, revoke their license and prosecute the owners, head teacher and house masters, alongside the students.

parents need to be cautioned and we need to start seeing hashtags like #stopintimidationofteachers . The way parents interfere in the schools this days is annoying some have even turned the school premises to their offices .Abeg make all this parents rest na them cause all this rubbish . Some of us were beaten and disciplined by soldiers when we were in secondary school we did not die and parents did not come to complain even children of colonels and generals got the same treatment . But small punishment these days the mothers have picked aso ebi to go fight the teachers and school management rada rada .

ZendayaColeman:
How can kids be this wicked? Is it that their parents/guardians don't show them love abi wetin happen gangan?

the situation is really a sad one , how parents have created loopholes in our school system now the kids are taking advantage of these loopholes . Just the other day a celeb brought school matters to social media that is pure intimidation of teachers and school management , a child is disciplined at school and the next day the mother is already at the school fighting the teacher if the school management takes appropriate measures the parent comes to social media to dent the image of the school . Now teachers are even too scared to discipline their students . God bless our parents way back where they would even authorize the school to give corporal punishment to the entire class or hostel if need be , I could remember way back some of our graduating seniors where detained at police cells just to discipline and tame them and let them stop harassment and bullying of other students . They have brought this over pampering into the school system and it is so so wrong

Moreign001:
Hello Guys, Good Morning and a Happy Sunday to you all.

I don't know how concise i can be, but I will try.

I just graduated last 3 months, with my girlfriend who's now my ex, and she's 26yrs of age while I'm 28yr.

We started dating from our 200level till yesterday, (that's approximately 4yrs and counting...).
We were ideal together, we were well known in school, to an extent where her friends and mine kept asking how? And wishing theirs was like ours..

She promised never to leave, and she please everyday that I should never hurt her. At times we jokingly talked about our future kids which is now a never happening fable.

So after we graduated, she travelled to stay with her aunt, we do check on each other everyday.

Last month.. She called, and said her friend needs an advice, that she and her date just graduated, and that another man is asking her out, and she's thinking of dumping her guy since he's not ready, and that the newly known man is ready to pay for her marriage rites.
Immediately I knew she was the one in the story, because I already had several dreams were she left me. I pretended, I told her to tell her friend to "Follow Her Heart".

Last night she called, and said there's something she wants to tell me, I responded, "Is it what I already know?", she asked what? I told her she's getting married soon, and she said yes! I was speechless. I asked her for how long has this been going on, she said it started when she came to stay with her Aunt. We spoke, and I congratulated her, she started crying, I ended the call, sent her a good luck text.

This morning, she called and said she couldn't sleep last night. I asked her why she did it, why she decided to get married, she said she doesn't know. I asked if she likes the guy, she said yes. She couldn't stop crying and was saying I shouldn't leave her, while she's the one leaving me. I was totally down, but I have crazy friends. I WhatsApp a friend, told him what just happened, his words boosted me up. He said, " Support her, we move, no be God leave you". That was enough, but it's hard, really hard to move on without her, and she said the same thing and kept pleading I shouldn't leave her.
Now I'm asking, if I was the one who had left, what would have been the story? That I used her and dumped her, because this has always been used against the guys.
Why are women in a rush to marry? They don't even add value to themselves, I'm now 80% in agreement that marriage is one of the greatest achievement for a woman, maybe in Nigeria.

you should have yourself to blame you are not yet ready to settle down why now involve yourself in a serious relationship , like what were you expecting ? She should sit around and wait till when you are ready and there is no guarantee you will even marry her when you are eventually ready .Baba abeg free the babe joor

Moreign001:
It will hurt me the more. I just want her to happy.

In a few years time you will actually be glad all this happened . Cause early and unplanned marriages have sent many into poverty .

Grgton:
yeah you have a point!! If need be, Mr obi cubana should go defend himself

wisdom is profitable to direct . In any situation you find yourself learn not to stick your head out too much * Hide your head * e get why

Grgton:
Typical jealousy!!

I knew this will be coming!!

As it begins

boss sometimes it good to ignore the messenger and focus more on the message , even past political office holders that go low key have their reasons no let fbi or Interpol get your time ooo .

Karlovych:
She's in for a long ride in a Nigerian prison, a lot of young people need to be taken to an excursion to a Nigerian prison to see what the conditions look like, maybe then a lot of them will think twice before committing crimes, she should face the consequences.

honestly I think the government should introduce it into our educational curriculum (maybe part of activities of freshers week) so this young adults know better . Omo men nothing is worth your life or freedom not money not sex

Thebest12:
Hello Good morning nairalanders ,
.
Pls I want to know am I about to experience heart break or I should do that now before she does it to me . My girlfriend just posted someone LOML . I just saw that on her stories. I investigated deeply and I found the guy's username . I saw that the guy has been commenting on her posts recently and I wonder why she posted the guy LOML . I tried to ask her but some people adviced me not to and that I should watch from distance. Okay just when I have decided to freestyle the matter , today again she posted same guy again . I am so pained right now , and confused.

Am I about to experience heart break .? Should I kuku end the relationship now ? Pls I need your advice

not every relationship should end in marriage some will just be a learning process for you , Oga focus more on yourself and become a better person . If the bad ones don’t go the good one won’t come Shikena

Befii:
Somehow, d murder maynot have bin intentional. Think about this - a 21 years old undergraduate staying with her dad and other family members wouln't jus murder a 49yrs old billonaire jst like dat. M beginning to see some truth in her story. Sometin went wrong. She isn't mad enough to come up with such plan, imagine where d whole tin took place.
She was aware, people knew they where dating & they had actually spent time together @ public joints. So m tinking, she wouldn't reason coverin up d murder was gona b easy. Another point to prove her innocency, d poor girl was easily apprehended by d police. If she had planned it, dnt u tink she could hv manage to cover up & stay off police radar. My people, sometin went wrong. Somehw someone took excess advantage & exploited her young age as he was a billonaire. Cnt u see d injustice. He did drugs & has excess money, it possible he abused d poor girl.

on a second thought I think the drugs and weed they took caused all this , the intake of drugs and illegal substance in the country now is so alarming and I think the government needs to start taking serious measures to stop this wildfire . It is so bad people smoke weed and sk in public places like bars and hotels like it is just cigarettes . Once weed and drugs is in the body system things can go out of control within minute you see two love birds or good friends become outright enemies . Two lives wasted for nothing

Chuka200:
Very possible that seeing the amount in the account got her mesmerized and she decided to act smart she probably told one or two people cuz they said she had a Nigerian passport on her when she was caught.. This is an act of desperation and wickedness in the part of her helper. This guy must have helped her n her family very well with more promises to do more..people who you help always come back to hurt u or be ur enemy

my brother we need to be much more careful don’t ever reveal your pin to anybody and make sure when punching it on any pos or atm nobody is watching . Let me share my own experience there is this particular pos I use very close to my house during the COVID lockdown I did not like touching the pos so I told the attendant my pin one day to press it herself I thought nothing of it , I was surprised some weeks later I used the same pos and she put the pin herself (she memorized it) it was then it dawned on me i made a very costly mistake , imagine she had criminal intentions and profiled me with the kind of car I drive and the house I stay (cos her stand is very close to my street) and with the amounts I withdraw it is just a matter of double crossing me and getting my atm card and possible make an attempt on my life for uninterrupted withdrawals please we need to be more careful

GrammarNazi1:
In fact, one of the reasons why she killed him might be the possession of the password.

that was what triggered her to kill him .To me her story is not adding up , she somehow figured out the pin to the atm card (most probably out of the mans carelessness while using pos consciously or sub consciously) they have been hanging out for long so that is not rocket science to get . Then she killed him so she could make uninterrupted withdrawals via atm machines and pos points but I guess luck ran against her . This is an eye opener for everyone on how careless use of atm card and pin can make you a soft target of robbery and murder . We have desperate people all over the place now just looking for the slightest opportunity to take advantage .It is well

CoolJulian:
.

Does this your experience now make it right/proper for one to be drawn to, and abandoned in a strange land? What kind of experience can ever justify carrying out such a wicked act against a fellow human, abeg?

abandoned in a strange land when it is within nigeria ,boss i am not justifying what he did but come on think about it 16k to live on for 3 months and we know it will be more than 3 months .When ever i am visiting lag if i do not have money to put at a hotel i always take atleast something tangible to support wherever i will be staying with the way the economy is to even feed an extra mouth is a big problem for alot of people

slam7000:
Stop making yourself to be the victim here. I despise your friend and such attitudes from people but your number one mistake was naivety. You obviously saw photos of him on Facebook then believed that all was well with him. All those flashy bits you saw were all fake and he probably also started telling you lies from the beginning before you opened up about your predicament.
I’m not making excuses on his behalf but you don’t travel from PH to Lagos with just N16k in your pocket to live with a guy who occupies a 2 bedroom apartment hoping to stay with him for 3 months.

You should be thanking your God for not meeting him at all. Your little experience in being homeless will make you stronger. Think and stop depending on people.

I’m sure you had lots of opportunities to earn little cash here and there but avoids them because the jobs were too dirty and degrading for someone like you. Know this...there are lots of dirty jobs out there but the cash in your hands doesn’t tell the source.

Like you, a friend called his cousin that he was coming to the Uk some years back...this guy landed at Heathrow, called his cousin and guess what?...the number went into voice mail but he wasn’t that silly, he had plan B and C. His cousin posts photos of himself in winter jackets, combat trousers and Rockport boots even in summer. My guy didn’t know the difference between summer and winter. Like you he saw a successful person but then he wasn’t fooled. He hit the ground running, never wasted time moaning about the lies and mistreatment. He got it right, became a success.

Don’t be deceived by Facebook and social media photos.
You can achieve in Ph what you hoped to achieve in Lagos. Get out there and work. Nigeria is tight and hard but there are lots of things you can do to build yourself up.

am sure his friend had a change of mind at the last minute ,or maybe the friend exprienced some ugly situation in the past .Let me share my own story ,sometimes last year an old school mate called me on the phone (have not heard from this guy for over 15 years) he said he was in a neighboring state for some business and could not make it back to Lagos that same day he wanted to do a stop over at my place then continue his journey the following day .I said no problems this guy arrived i could not take him to my house cause it would be in appropriate i did not inform my wife beforehand,so i lodged him at a very good hotel about 30k paid for his meals till the next day i even took him to my wife just for formal introductions and all that before we went out for the evening for merriment .The dude got back to his base in Lagos and only sent me a messages on whatsapp that he has arrived in Lagos .This is someone i spent close to 100k for (impromtu) .Till date he has not called me on the phone or whatsoever so with all this do you think i would be willing to assist even someone i know next time ? A lot of terrible people have ruined chances and opportunities for the innocent ones

GeneralPula:
She has already did..

Calling out Yoruba Nollywood, she don over do..

I’m sure more response are coming..

honestly i wonder why people still take this tonto woman seriously ,a woman that paid her own bribe price oh sorry bride price and was flaunting on social media like she was having the best marriage ,when her ex hubby's personal assistant successfully snatched and gave birth for her ex ,why did she not come on social media to talk ,she went mute .Madam Tonto and iyabo ojo are not the only nollywood actresses we have this Baba Ijesha issue is a delicate one so lets wait for official police statement on the matter .I wonder why people just make unnecessary enemies for themselves all because of clout chasing .RADARADA. What if Baba Ijesha is innocent ? I am just saying ooo

Omihanifa:
https://punchng.com/wiping-back-to-front-introduces-bacteria-from-anus-into-vagina-researcher-urinating-after-sex-wont-prevent-infection/

for those of you that like to lick everything how market ?

lecturer50:
Please house I need an advice.

Ever since I got a federal government job,

my relatives have been disturbing me for money.

There must always be an issue that involves money which they want me to solve.

Recently, my mom become sick.

They are threatening me that I would be held responsible if my mom dies,if I don't make sure she is cured.

But I have taken her to hospitals, and she is trying to recover.

I do this whenever I visit home since I am working in a state far from home.

Her health challenge is due to old age.

But today my uncle called me that I should resign, get back to the village and personally take care of my mom,

failure of which,if she dies, the whole family would hold me responsible for choosing job over my mom.

Can you imagine resigning your federal job to get to the village and start staying?

The calls, the demands, the attacks are getting too much for me.

Please should I just switch off my phone so that no one can contact me?

I just need advice?

Bomb dey that your uncle head ,as if the old woman would live forever .Op just get a maid that will take care of her and send what you can afford constantly also carry your siblings along it should be a collective effort not left for one child

wirinet:
To me it goes beyond the N100k. It goes to the very heart of the type of family you are about to enter. How will you go to their family house and ask for their daughters hand, knowing how shameless they are. I can never respect such a family. I will use that to judge the type of upbringing my intending wife had. It will make me think she had been pretending to be a decent girl all along and would unleash her real self once I say "I do".

you took the words out of my mouth ,op i think you need to re-evaluate your relationship .Do you want to end up with such a shameless family ? they spent 60k out of your business money mistakenly paid into their account instead of them to look for all means to refund your money ,they rather choose to manipulate you .A family with 4 elderly people that cant raise 60k urgently to cover their shame says a lot (they must be very dubious people hence no one will lend them ) .Oga op don't ignore these early signs before it will end in premium tears.

Amb1045:
So painful they killed that young man. DJ naked wire. a guy with heart of gold, who has help a lot of young guys through his work. una no go get peace till death

what a name dj naked wire

staged

only if our government can take this our local state football clubs more serious and involve private investors it will create alot of job opportunities than we think also it will unite this country (it would be fun travelling with your team to a state you have never been before even if it is for two days)

TooMuchStuff:
Edo need it's own Sunday Igboho ASAP

don't mess with edo youths their own Dey pass be careful they might extend it to suya men and meat sellers .Just wait and see no single herder will be in the edo forest after 14 days

Go

[quote author=Burgerlomo post=98654434][/quote]Dey there dey yimu

Dpharisee:
After Northern Nigeria fear women.

yes ooo fear women the second wife might be behind all this the man should confirm from another place the dna . All this dna wahala in naija naija hospitals are not to be trusted

Some months back if I read something like this I would be like Nigerians have come again . Just last week here a boy that has living with me for close to two years I sent him packing ( lately he has become too difficult to handle ) the boy is In his late 20s when I checked his luggage to make sure he was not stealing anything from my house ,I was shocked with the amount of fetish stuffs I saw in his luggage from different soaps to creams different voodoo items . One needs to be very careful with people we Harbour In our lives and homes . This younger generation the way they are desperate to get rich is becoming alarming .

Alexgman1:
You have being dating a girl for a year and all of a sudden she broke up with you and went back to her ex who she said she hated so much & would hurt him if she ever saw him again because he used her & took advantage of her. Do you think there is something am not doing right Or does her ex has something i dont have that she went back to him?

Oga instead of you to be dancing and preparing for thanksgiving you are here complaining ,you just dodged a bullet (paternity fraud is real ) maybe you think the ex just called her overnight and she went back just like that ,they have been communicating and having sex regularly but you were obviously too blind or carried away to notice . Bros am so happy for you

SatanBoss:
stop it please. no delta or edo girl is a victim of sex trafficing. they go there to do olosho willingly. they even pay to go there. useless thread

you just spoke my mind , this is how they end up stranded in all this funny African countries Rebellious child .

Zane2point4:
So kids you pay such amount of money wont Wash ordinary car for u??
So what will they do for you?

If you see no wrong in this then theres a problem.
I wash my fathers car for almost upto late twenties. Even extended to my elder brothers own.
Just say that family is dysfunctional and there's no hierachy atall,no respect.

from what the op wrote I think the man in question was careless with his finances and decision making in his prime working days . How can you be paying 600k for 3 kids per term and your salary is just 300k monthly .Do the maths his annual salary was 3.6m and he was paying 1.8m yearly for all the 3 kids leaving him with 1.8m for other expenses rent and day to day living . Forgetting that in the nearest future he will retire or stop active work (no retirement plan) if he made the right decisions and enrolled them in a school that was paying like 100k per term he would have been getting extra 1m yearly which he would have invested in side businesses or tops landed investment for his retirement years ,now that he can't meet up financially he his angry his kids won't do normal house chores that should not be an issue if he planned for his retirement (a house help can wash his car even 5 times a day if he can afford it ) . In as much as we try to give our kids the best education and life we should do it within our means and think of our future and their future as well . Of what use is it sending your kids to top notch primary and secondary schools them at university level you send them to a polytechnic or college of education cause the finances are no longer the same but it is better to send them to average schools and invest your money properly so you can send them to the best universities in the world and also enjoy your retirement peacefully .

NeoWanZaeed:
Thats exactly same idea that ruins this country. Business without compassion. Science without compassion is what is killing this world

what compassion if he invested all is life savings into that project as a pensioner do you expect him to hit the streets and start begging , if you were In his shoes you won't do any better