₦airaland Forum

Odumeje will never accept this kind of challenge since no human factor to help stage the rain fall. Not that I believe that the challenger is capable of bringing down but this is the kind of challenges pastors like Pdumeje and Bushiri suppose to be receiving

CSoul:
(Created this new account to post for a sister)



Please help advice a sister in confusion.....


Background:


"I reconnected with my old school toaster who always spoke marriage and love.
Got serious in 5 months.
I've met a lot of people from his end within this period.
He shows me off.
Introduction was done and wedding date fixed."

Issues:
Traditional is barely a week away; yet she's bleeding and scared of the future because of her discoveries:

1. The husband to be has anger issues. Ok, he's all nice and good when in good mood. But once something triggers him, all hell is let loose. The trigger can be a simple missing his call(while at work/meeting). No amount of sweet talk or explanations calms him down.

2. The shocker is that he cheats/has a fuckmate living nearby. She discovered this with evidence from their chats and hasn't been herself. The chat is detailed description of their exploits right up to the present and future plans how they'll continue after he's married. (From same chat, the other lady is aware he's getting married.
He tried denying it; when it didn't work he started making excuses/begging he'll change.

3. He doesn't want any third party intervention in their affairs, not even counseling.

She's scared of the future and yet feels stuck as court marriage is done already, most preparations have been done(publicity and most of other physical arrangements), both for the traditional and wedding.


Kindly give your mature advice; she'll be reading every bit of it.
(Admin kindly push to front page)

No 2 is manageable but no 1and 3 is Scarry and dangerous, a serious red alert.

RUN O! RUN O!!

But it's a common practice in Igbo land na. Pikin kicking, slapping and beating parents na their hobby

Why can't girls date without collecting gifts

Lifeisnotfair:
I hope everyone is having a good day. Here's my story and I'd try to be brief as much as I can.

About four months ago I met this white girl on Instagram and since then we've been talking day in day out. I'm surprised af how quick we both connected in a very short time and to be honest I can tell that she's crazy about me and I'm as well. As a matter of fact she broke up with her ex boyfriend so she could focus on our relationship because according to her she hasn't met someone as sweet as me and I was actually cool with it since no girl has shown me such love in my entire life.

We are both in our early 20s (24 years old) and we 've both promised each other a lot, we plan on seeing for the first time in Nigeria very soon but after last night's conversation, I actually don't feel the same way I felt for her when we started talking.

She confessed to have been with 8 guys after I asked her how many guys she's dated in the past, then she said 9 and later 10 and said she has lost count of how many times she's had sexx. And oh I haven't asked her to be my girlfriend yet though but last night I was about to and after hearing all of her confessions I had to go offline and she's been begging me for forgiveness but I've been ignoring her.

I'm confused and I don't know what to do. I'm deeply in love with her and I see a future with her as well but her past disgusts me so much and I don't feel sexx with her would be something special when we finally decide to get married in the future. Should I continue to lead her on till when I get a green card and just ditch her afterwards or should I just cut ties with her now that I have the opportunity to?

Ps: She's based in America while I'm in Nigeria and for those that would say I'm not a saint, oh well I'm sorry to burst your bubble but I'm still a virgin and haven't had sex in my entire life. I'm not saying she should be a virgin but I feel like 10 guys in the past is a bit on the high side. Please NL members, I need advice on what to do. Thank you in advance.

Update:
I've been reading all of the comments and I appreciate everyone of you that took out time to advice me on what to do.

First I'd like to say that my intentions of talking to her was pure and genuine. I wasn't thinking of using her to get a green card. And second I didn't say I was looking for a virgin but it's all good now.

I actually did followed my heart like most persons here suggested and we are both cool now. We hope to see where this leads us in the future. Thank you again.

It's good you have made up with her but just to add one or two things. Please learn to value those that values you.

Your kind of attitude is what makes many partners in relationship lies to cover up. When a lady opened up to you like this it means she felt she can trust you.

And let me tell you some of these so call virgins or holy than thou ladies can be terrible in manners because of their poor socialization or exposure. Ladies like yours is experience and we make life sweet for you

Lifeisnotfair:
I hope everyone is having a good day. Here's my story and I'd try to be brief as much as I can.

About four months ago I met this white girl on Instagram and since then we've been talking day in day out. I'm surprised af how quick we both connected in a very short time and to be honest I can tell that she's crazy about me and I'm as well. As a matter of fact she broke up with her ex boyfriend so she could focus on our relationship because according to her she hasn't met someone as sweet as me and I was actually cool with it since no girl has shown me such love in my entire life.

We are both in our early 20s (24 years old) and we 've both promised each other a lot, we plan on seeing for the first time in Nigeria very soon but after last night's conversation, I actually don't feel the same way I felt for her when we started talking.

She confessed to have been with 8 guys after I asked her how many guys she's dated in the past, then she said 9 and later 10 and said she has lost count of how many times she's had sexx. And oh I haven't asked her to be my girlfriend yet though but last night I was about to and after hearing all of her confessions I had to go offline and she's been begging me for forgiveness but I've been ignoring her.

I'm confused and I don't know what to do. I'm deeply in love with her and I see a future with her as well but her past disgusts me so much and I don't feel sexx with her would be something special when we finally decide to get married in the future. Should I continue to lead her on till when I get a green card and just ditch her afterwards or should I just cut ties with her now that I have the opportunity to?

Ps: She's based in America while I'm in Nigeria and for those that would say I'm not a saint, oh well I'm sorry to burst your bubble but I'm still a virgin and haven't had sex in my entire life. I'm not saying she should be a virgin but I feel like 10 guys in the past is a bit on the high side. Please NL members, I need advice on what to do. Thank you in advance.

Update:
I've been reading all of the comments and I appreciate everyone of you that took out time to advice me on what to do.

First I'd like to say that my intentions of talking to her was pure and genuine. I wasn't thinking of using her to get a green card. And second I didn't say I was looking for a virgin but it's all good now.

I actually did followed my heart like most persons here suggested and we are both cool now. We hope to see where this leads us in the future. Thank you again.

It's good you have made up with her but just to add one. Please learn to value those that values you.

Your kind of attitude is what makes many partners in relationship lies to cover up. When a lady opened up to you like this it means she felt she can trust you.

Both someone who has had sex with one pers

I support this

daveyjay:
Good day NLers, please I need your take on this.
I'm a student in one of Nigeria's prominent public universities.

A girl decided to vie for admission in my school via the predigree programme but she had no accommodation. Because of the relationship between my parents and hers, I offered to take her in from January till now

I offered a roof over her head.

The first night she came, she slept on the floor and I wasn't okay with that, the following night, I told her she could have the bed, I vacated my bed and relegated myself to sleeping on the floor, we can't share same bed since she's neither my babe nor sister. And this sleeping routine has continued ever since then. The floor is my new bed

I gave her my spare key, uncensored access to my kitchen and everything within my legal occupancy.
Cut long story short, last week Tuesday she woke up, had her bath, ate then stepped out briefly, when she returned we were outta water. Tap water of course. She called my attention to it to which I remained calm. Meanwhile I hadn't eaten neither had I bathed. At noon, she came to me that she was hungry but couldn't cook due to unavailability of water, I then asked her if I am to fetch her water??!.

She said she was gonn take food stuff to her friend's place (upstairs) to cook.
I replied by asking how many of her friends had lacked water and brought food stuff to cook here??!


She got angry and took some money and left


That same Tuesday, I went to see Chelsea game, when I returned, I asked her if she cooked but she didn't dignify me with her attention talk more of a response.
I thought it was rude but considered it as one of the many tantrums of ladies

The following morning, she woke up, acted like I don't exist, couldn't greet... had her bathe and left. Returned, unlocked the door, walked in like I wasn't there, ate, left to her friend's place.

On Thursday she repeated the routine, I called her back when she was going out, I asked her if she considered me as her father, brother or boyfriend that she'd wake up and start throwing attitudes...
I made her understand that I am her benefactor.
Hardly did I finish before she left. She returned and continued in same path and that has continued till this very moment...

Last night she didn't sleep at home, when she returned in the morning, she unlocked the door with her spare, walked in, ate, brushed, dressed and walked out without a single word e come be like say I be ghost.

What I did, I changed the locks, took some stuff, sealed my door with strict instructions to the caretaker then moved to a friends place outside my lodge and I've been there ever since.

She has returned and has been calling my line but I've been ignoring...

Now, is my action too harsh or still in line??!

There's a time one get to know he has reached the limit of helping. Call her to come pack her things out of your place, she's an ingrate.

rotimioluwamuyi:
I really need help and strategies to handle this matter. My wife sister came three weeks ago to live with us. She is 22 yrs. My problems now is her dressing mode which my wife is not careful about.

This lady always wear see-through singlets and night gowns. She has big breasts and always displaying them. I don't know how I will tell my wife to talk her sister to cover herself. She may feel bad that I'm attracted to her sister.

During the sallah holiday, I was with her alone because my wife don't holiday in her place of work, I have to leave the house and stay in the accommodation given to me in my place of work.

This morning, I carried my undies to wash, she crossed me and told me to give it to her to wash, the towel she tied because she was going to bathroom before was removing and showing her full breasts and she never worry about that.

Our marriage is just one year and I never cheated on my wife and she trusted me but her sister is really giving me emotional trauma. Can you imagine, yester night, my wife went to a programme, I was with her. So I called her around 8 pm that we should pray and go to bed. This lady came with a see-through night gown with a push up bra that put all breasts outside. Even her pant color was visible. I tried to control myself....

Even this morning, she came for prayer with the same gown and my wife did not caution her.....
How can I handle this matter?

See free food o. Cat is made to watch over mouse, the cat is only to look ayanyan, this is a temptation o, may God deliver you from it

If you must do it be coded and smart about it and don't forget to press the button called forgiveness in prayer, if you are caught blame it on devil and case closed.

Don't forget to update us when you do it.

Don't let him him oppress you with his attitude, he's not real. Block him and avoid him

uc4uandc:
NEVER DATE AT WORK PLACE
(A personal experience)

It was early August of 2020 when I got an invitation text to come for an interview in newly established entertainment industry here in the East.

We numbered over 300 who came for the interview and after much screening, 62 staff were selected.

The daily training was intense and interesting too because of the Manager we had, he was so detailed and funny also.

Amongst trainees were beautiful ladies of all shapes and sizes and intelligence.
The first day I saw my girlfriend, I didn't feel anything, she's very young and beautiful and opposing too (one of my likes about women). I realize she's a little opinionated, hence she got my attention.

We were all given appointment letter to our various positions. Mine was what I applied for but my gf didn't get hers, she was rather given something else. She came to me to complain since we are now friends and I told her that maybe the reason why she wasn't given the position she wanted was because she's short (Sarcastically, but I meant it)

She got angry and opposed me (I have a thing for women who oppose actions, especially when they have reasons). I apologized and we got along....... Boom we started dating.

#FASTFOWARD#
The next month, I got promoted to one of the managers, everyone was happy for me.
I have been a senior staff for like 8 months now and I must tell you that it has been a terrible experience.

My girlfriend is choking the hell out of me at work. She's very lukewarm in terms of carrying out her duties, when I confront her to do her work, she will tell me that I'm being too harsh on her. How can you litter your department like this and go home? she will tell me she's tired, I will have to assign someone else to do it, but it's her duty.

This keeps happening all the time, if I shout at her at work (when she gets on my nerves) she won't talk to me again for weeks and she won't greet me at work. If I ask her questions about sales, she won't reply me.

The most recent one was her and her colleagues misbehaving and I queried them, others replied my query, but she didn't. I wanted to let go, but one of the senior staff asked about her own reply to the query. I was forced to surcharge her N5,000 since she didn't reply, that means she's guilty.
After I served her the letter, she got angry and said "all the managers in this company are stupid" she said this to my face. Something she can't say to other managers.

Mehn! I was so furious and I was walking away when she threw her book at me, in front of other junior staff. OMG!...... I just walked away.
She's still keeping malice (her specialty) with me. I am not happy with her either.

I keep avoiding her so as not to get into more of what we are. But the work is suffering because of her dereliction.
Currently, I don't know how to tell her I don't want to be with her again, but I love her.

My advice
Never date at your place of work especially when you are bossing over her!

You be mumu. When they sack you for incompetence for her sake your sense go set to factory format then she will dump you

After all there's no super man being anywhere except who God is protecting

lilije:
I have been dating this guy for close to three months now. At first, we would talk and chat late at night but all of a sudden, he told me about his younger brother who just came back from school. Since then, he doesn't take or return my calls when he's home. He visits my place often but wouldn't want me to visit his. I have complained about his attitude but he has refused to change. I'm thinking of calling it a quit. Your candid advice please.

Permit to inform you that you are a side chick with a limited access when the main chick is around. The decision to remain comfortable with that is solely yours.

dafman10:
Is it proper to tell your friend that his wife is seriously having an affair with your boss?

Pls my dear NLders i need candid opinion(s) cos am in a serious dilemma

Tactically create a distance between yourself and the family

educhigo:
Urgent advise needed I'm deported from abroad with 1 million naira only, what kind of business can i go into? I was into motorcycle parts before i travel out, but seems the government banned okada in some part of the country such as Lagos State where i started life.

I was born in 1982 and I'm still single. My parents are not happy with me, I'm seriously confused.

Oga go out from your house and see what's going on in Lagos, okada is operating everywhere in Lagos with no restrictions. If you want to go back to your business do it quick

Ipob behind European super League

ictjobber:
... Even the Local Ashawo wey dey my estate dey always talk the same thing..... once they make it they tend to forget all those who contributed to their success. Women eh.

She actually worked hard for everything. Do you know how many escort service she has to run in a day, do you know the rigor she will have to go true with a man that took vigra plus other drugs and so you know how many of such men she has to endure in a day?

PDP can never know peace again, from one crisis to another

This is what PDP represent, election irregularity and corruption.

CORRUPTION IS NOT STEALING

Lovethaa:
Have been friends with a babe at my workplace and from her frequent visit to my office plus the way she calls me to check on me . you could easily tell that she likes me .

One thing led to another and we ended up kissing , after the kiss I told her to tell me about her past relationships plus her sexual life .

She opened up to me that she was introduced to sex at 8years old by one neighbor uncle ,
she told me how the uncle take her to his room and ask her to play with his Prick and sometimes would make her suck it ,she claim she couldn't tell her mom because she will beat her mercilessly

She said she officially started having sex at 10 ,she disclosed that she had done 4 abortions so far although the abortions were for the same guy . mind you she is just 24 years old

She claimed she's telling me all this because she loves me and wants to be honest with me .

But hearing all that I was weak.. this babe is from a wealthy family , she travels to yankee like someone going to a neighboring state plus she is an MSC Holder , unknown to her I have decided that I would marry her because she's educated and wealthy family is like a bonus but now she actually disgust me and I wish she didn't tell me all that ..

Ladies are doing shit behind forget all that pretty gentle face.. if I was to judge with the face I could have bet with my life that this babe was a virgin or atleast not that experienced in sex ...


and pls ladies if you have such dirty past ,I think u should keep it to yourself...



I'm just lost for words , wish I could unhear everything

You are the one disgusting here.

Keep looking for the saint you will marry when yourself is a gold digger thief.

Tomorrow you expect other ladies reading this your trash to be bold enough to be honest with their past to their suitors, your type is the reaspn honesty is erroded from our society.

Stop judging the lady with her past just because she was honest with you out of love

Chika Mbonu the name said it all.

Igbo's are always used by the Huasa/Fulani to do dirty jobs

It's obvious that leopard cannot change its skin colour, PDP cannot conduct a credible election without violence

Lagosinter1:
That girl's issue may not be connected to any of these people.

Her issue could be purely medical.

That's it, unfortunately they are taking glory in her ailments and creating more fears in people that they are untouchable.

Africans are so deluded with superstition and religion

philanthropic:
You just met this awesome partner that fits all your desires, thar tolerates you, that loves you to a fault, that helps you, that gives you money, that can sacrifice for you, that can cover your shame, that can love you when you don't worth it.

You started dating and feeling the most beautiful relationship ever, then one day, a friend of yours that doesn't know you are in a relationship with your partner, identified to know your partner, and says to have really sexed your partner so hard in the past.

What will you do?

What does the past has to do with the present?

This is a welcome development, it is overdue

Kondomatic:
Ada doesn't need their forgiveness to be alright, they're not God, and no, she is not sick because of what she said or how she attacked these people. She is not sick because they cursed her.

She is sick because she is human and humans fall sick.

What she needs is money so can be taken to a good hospital for treatment. Take her to where Buhari is and she will be alright.

My brother the kind of attention people gives to all these people makes them assumes they are gods and untouchable and make them boast nonsense

If God makes people paralyse for talking against man of God all those that attacked Jesus and the apostles should be paralysed.

zombieHUNTER:
So if the bullion van Master doesn't rule you it must be fulani....

You must be a Yoruba Muslim...

Osibanjo is Miles ahead of Tinubu in all ramifications....

Shame on your black forehead

Tell Nnamdi Kanu to come and contest with him

Nbotee:
Oh shut up already... The lies from U and ur family and those running the affairs of dis country ooze pass cesspit.. Imagine someone who spent months in Dubai coming to tell Nigerians she chose to be treated in a private hospital instead of going to London.. Nonsense and ingredients

Even if you will hate won't you have sense?

Did she travel to Dubai for treatment or the incident of the treatment was before her Dubai trip?

Fedric:
I noticed that my girl friend doesn't like to come over anymore. Of late she Dosen't pick my calls often, she picked after 20 times .

I called her plenty times yesterday but she didn't pick my call giving me silly excuses that she left her phone at home while going out.

She repeated the same thing today and her excuse was that she went to an office and she can't pick the call. She later say she have to submit the phone to the security officers at the gate and that's the law of the institute .

I never see this kind of excuses and when I talk to my sister, she was like she might have gone to a man house and don't wanna pick .

The main issue with her is she believes I complain too much and she also raises voice at me any time I told her an issue I don't like.

I'm seriously tired and I am having different thoughts .

I wanted to marry her but her attitude keeps preventing me from making such move.

I feel bad right now and I needed an advice .

I feel so bad that my thought right now is to pretend, use her, dump her and make her feel regretful of making me go through emotional pain.

Should I just let her go and I should go on my who way?

Or should I just free her and start doing as if she don't exist in my life again .

I'm not happy right now and I feel so bad .


Advice please.

Relationship is about mutual interest. From experience it's obvious the girl has lost interest in the relationship and it's not the best to force a relationship with someone who doesn't have interest in you. Let her go.

Asgard13:
Tinubu is eating both feaces and shits ... all for 2023..

He must contest apc primaries...
Let him not eat all this poo and chicken out tomorrow
Because he will... we all know

But we want him to prove he’s not a coward..
He must contest
No excuses
No twist of narratives

You're just desperate to be noticed. Is ok you're noticed now, any more thing?

It's amazing how the igbos are gradually destroying their region

grossintel:
So one of my clients wanted to transfer 100k to me for a subscription fee, for some reasons I didn't want him to send it to my main account so I told him I'll send him an account to send the money to.

My girlfriend was with me, so I asked if I could use her account and she agreed. (PS: I use her account number a lot and we've been dating for a long time so I trust her with such amount) . So I told her to send me her account number, but she was watching a movie and requested I check my bank app beneficiaries. I checked and reluctantly copied the account number without checking properly seeing the account name had her surname on it, I didn't check the rest.

My client transferred the money and almost 24hrs my girlfriend still didn't receive the money so I contacted him and he sent a screenshot of the transfer which I forwarded to her. Immediately she saw it she shouted! That's her dads account number, I know I used to send her money through he's account some years back so I saved he's account details. She quickly called him and that's when she heard the shocker.

He said he thought it was he's friend abroad, so they used the money to buy food stuff and what is left is 40k or less, her mom was even pleading if they can send the 40k. My GF has been crying and begging that I should give them time to raise the money or I should sell her phone. Her entire family members have been calling me and I refused to pick, I just want my money back complete.

How can you use money you didn't verify the source in less than 24hrs? Her Mom is a pastor and Father is an elder but this is stealing! Did you call your friend abroad to ask before using the money? Her dad is retired without pention so I know for sure they don't have a way of raising the money.

After much pleading I asked her to tell them to send the 40k and send the rest before the week runs out, that's when they told her they can't do transfer and it has to be on Tuesday. At this stage, I just concluded they spent all that money, I'm trying to stay calm but at the same time not be foolish. My friend is asking me to involve the police but this will certainly hurt my relationship. Please how should I follow this matter, I need mature advice please. 100k is not something I can dash anyone right now.

You have to take things easy with that family. You can't blame them for spending the money without verification.

I have people in certain places outside Nigeria that the only way I can initiate communication with them is through WhatsApp and for over two weeks now my WhatsApp has been down and the phone number connecting the WhatsApp is lost, I can't recover until I present a national ID card.

With the situation I narrated above do you expect me to wait until I fix all these things I mentioned above and verify the payment before spending?

You should be the one to be blamed for all the fault. Every bank app will show the name of a transfer beneficiary for verification, you should have checked well before you transfer