₦airaland Forum

I guess Christian soldiers too shouldn't shoot at the enemy when they go to war. Southern Kaduna folks should defend themselves, don't take the party to them though, but if they bring the party to you let them know you are capable. The cowards come at the dead of the night to slaughter women and children and we should turn the other cheek for them to come tomorrow?

One of the foundations of marriage is trust, trust is not instantaneous it grows, it is hard to build and I think that your trust has been fractured by this new revelation. The question you need to ask yourself is can that fracture be mended, what will it take to mend it and how long will it take? Your answers to these questions will determine what your next step will be. All the best in whatever decision you make.

If they buy luxury items it's the monies of the poor they are taking now they decided to create a business to sustain themselves the price becomes too high. Nawa oooo

this is the genesis of our problem in this country, when an individual becomes above the law.

Saraki is not entirely the problem he was natured in a political sphere that extracts resources to herself and the only way to survive in that for of atmosphere is to continue the trend. The political class of this country must decide that they want development irrespective of the creative destruction that accompanies it, until they do this we will only be running around in circles of wishes. Development is politics.

overcomer123:
How do couples with different spending patterns cope

my partner is driving me crazy, we have been fighting about everything that has to do with money, she is kinda of lavish and i am prudent. It is really frustrating, she sees me as a miser. She has this idea the higher the cost the more quality, but i know this is not necessary the case. at least from experience, i know how people inflate prices , i try to spend on actual value. I have sat her down and explained to her. How we should nt waste, she promises to change but next thing she is back to the basics.

I also think i may be partially responsible for this, during our courtship, i use to lavish her with very expensive gifts. which to me shd nt be a crime, I wasnt spending beyond my means and there is nothing wrong in giving your woman some exclusive treats once in a while what now bothers me is she expects the cinderella story will continue forever.

There was a day the argument got so intense, she began to say very uncool stuff, on hw she know i hate spending on her and always complain. i really felt hurt. She never looks at the big picture, it is always the most expensive stuff she wants, whenever we do anything.

Our counseling was rushed and proper attention wasnt given to finances and all, everyone just believes she is a well behaved girl. We just got married, I really dont know how i missed this earlier during courtship, but it really causing alot of whahala in our home. The funny part is most of this so called expenses are usually to be solely footed by me. My wife has not for one day called me to say she too will contribute this amount for this or that. I dont complain, or expect, where i have problem is when i decide to pay and she complains it is nt good enough. Am sure if her money was involved she would understand what i mean.

Currently i earn more than her, i found a temporary solution which is to keep her out of the financial decisions, Whenever. i want to buy stuff for the house I dont consult her anymore, i just go and buy the stuff and return home showing her i bought it, instead of the normal asking her which is better and she picks and we begin to fight and argue. This is temporal and actually not the best but what can i do? The fights are just getting to me.

When we started i used to expose her to how much I had and all and plans to maybe get a land and all and maybe start bulding. She knows how much i earn and all. but i dont think she is matured to handled some of these things. And i guess cos she knows of the money available (my saivngs) this is why she just goes for the most expensive and all and just acts lavish.

I had to lie to her that i was scammed of several of millions through MMM to make her forget about the available cash.

Just imagine the rubbish i have to go through.

See me see whahala , me and my own wife again.

Is anyone dating a partner with an opposite spending habit.

Can you share and let me learn how you overcame this problem.

simply create a budget for whatever expense and both of you have to stick to it. if she feels that she needs to upgrade a purchase then she is free to add the extra. But i must tell you, lack of synergy in a couples finances is trouble waiting to happen you both should sit down and work out a plan for your finances. do this before you start having kids.

Simple, get involved. Help her care for the kids and do some chores around the house, you can periodically buy dinner for the family just to make sure she doesn't cook all the time, also you can buy morden home appliances that help reduce work, during the holidays u can let the children go spend time with their grandparents, I believe these steps will automatically reduce her work load reduces there by creating time for Mr husband

When you open your marriage to close family and friends, you can control the missiles thrown at it but when you open your marriage to the world from where do you start when the rain of missiles begin?

Marriage isn't for the immature, marriage entails humility, responsibility, sacrifice, and patience these qualities are not resident in children.

Secondly courtship is just like preparing for an exam, you don't know the questions that will come out, but the more prepared you are for all types of questions the likely the chance of success. Courtship is much more than posting perfect pictures online or going on foreign trips, it's a time to plan for a marriage, setting the necessary boundaries and delegation of respective responsibility etc.

This just shows the kind of system we run and our reward system mechanism. I don't blame this people for going to visit their benefactor, after all they would have still been under the clutches of poverty if not for the man.

If we don't change, sooner or later this country will be plunged into war and if we still don't learn anything the rat race will reset and continue.

My problem with Nigeria is how shallow we perceive problems, these weapons are paraded on TV yet we don't know who sent the weapons, who is receiving them and for what purpose. Zero investigation zero intelligence, the perpetrators will only look for other methods next time. Security is not about arms or weapons, it about information gathering to make concrete decisions.

As much as APC must have used security to muzzle the rivers state election, let's call a spade a spade, the voice in the recording was dat of Gov wike doing everything in his power to counteract APC might. No need to be hypocritical our politicians are all six and half a dozen.

PDP is funny, they actually stood a chance but a house divided against itself can't stand, APC only took advantage of the division. The PDP candidate didn't campaign so how was he thinking he will win? Secondly there is the sharing of monies and food by APC, a practice passed down by PDP, the only reason PDP didn't do similar is because they are broke. Someone said we should have postponed the election, my answer is do school examination get prospone because a perfect is sick or not prepared? Do we know that election prosponed cost money?

The fact is that Nigerians have not decided on the kind of country they want to live in, hence no serious growth or development will occur as they will be mere accidental. Until our loyalty is to the system and not our brother, we are not yet on the road to greatness.

lack of solid institutions is the reason for the underdevelopment in Africa. If Zimbabwe had solid institutions the wife of the President will know her place. The country could be on the edge of civil war if this mess is not handled properly.

I'm afraid we have to do more than welldone, we need to join this protects, I wish he made wide consultation b4 so dat similar can be staged in Lagos too. Nigeria is in no recession, cos if we are government won't be buying new cars, employing new people, their salaries dint change etc. What is simply happening is that all arms of government are saying the money available is only enough for those in government hence the rest of us have to manage or better said are in recession. Let's occupy the government and start enacting call back for lawmaker's. If we refuse to act now we will have mortgage the future of our children

as much as my intuition tells me that the story is true, it cant be substantiated in court because of lack of evidence. no paper trail no voice recording or video. The minister will deny the very existence of the judge himself.

Let's not be too hasty here, we need to view the process of the refineries, we need to evaluate their product quality etc. The illegal refineries I've seen destroyed on TV are just people cooking crude oil in drums and extracting products such a refinery would only be accepted a century ago. If we don't look at the model properly we will end up with casualties of our own creation.

We need to adopt better conflict resolution techniques. we cant keep on wasting lives daily in the name of religion.

I think you should look critically at ur diet there might be something you are eating that is triggering it. I advise you do elimination eating that is stay of certain foods for sometime and evaluate the results. Secondly go for a deep in the beach or fetch some water from the beach and take a shower with it u can double up on that with fresh lime n lemon.

Both GEJ n amaechi are same thing dem join chop our money, it pathetic that we are justifying who stole less or more. It is us against these politicians it's sad that we have to fight ourselves because of them. Everyone shine your eyes PDP or APC are the same.

I think the reason for mother in-law n wife debacle is that men could be such babies and they sometimes make foolish decisions, a mother is always there to curtail these excesses but she doesn't trust that a young wife will do same. A mother is the centre of her son's world and she is afraid of being thrown out but they loose the insight that the world is big enough for two. Life has taught me that the more you let go the more control you can have.

I think the reason for mother in-law n wife debacle is that men could be such babies and they sometimes make foolish decisions, a mother is always there to curtail these excesses but she doesn't trust that a young wife will do same. Li

Before we jump to conclusions let's hear from other election observers, that way we will be able to pass better judgement.

it will be uncharitable to call PEJ a thief cos the law has not labeled her that but it is important that we know the source of these monies we have a 70% poverty population and someone that isn't producing anything or trading anything somehow has millions of dollars in her account. i believe that two wrongs don't make a right, tinubu stole and got away with it so did odilli n ibori n lucky etc unfortunately criminal justice is weak in Nigeria. it is insanity to keep extending the list of looters. if we choose to continue this way we will have mortgaged the future of our children in the name of defending someone that is enjoying her bounty.

Mr Lere Intimating us on how his benefactor played the game. very insightful.

Brooklynsouth:
this man evil is evil do not suPport it.dou also know PEJ s a good politicians tht she settles those that matters and discard irrelevant Ones?she is lovedby her. People and her Loot she Invested it thereby. Creating employment for them ......so much as u ll do anythinG to defend your yoruba theif don't be OffendeD if a SE/SS defends her person

I remember vividly calling tinubu corrupt and classifying all politicians six and half a dozen. i don't see why you are being ethnically emotional, my stating a fact doesn't mean I belong to an ethnic group or align with their life style. I suggest you stop seeing yourself as a victim.

I hope Mr bode George is also ready to relinquish his property too because past and present politicians are rogues of same feathers. We can all hate corrupt tinubu but the man sure is a good politician he settles those that matter discard those that don't, the area boys are in his pocket same goes for the market people, the largest votes constitutients are in his pocket.

95% of what jumia sells are imported a recession or forex scarcity will affect revenue big time. On the other hand Dangote gets 90% of her raw materials locally, his share price may drop due to lower sales but he can still stay afloat with out sacking staffs. As for the recession GEJ is partly responsible cause he didn't save for the future, Pmb is also responsible cause he left the economy that needed intervention dormant for months in the name of understudy. Frankly I don't see y the government after a year is still complaining, we voted them to fix the system not complain.

Goke7:
How do you now explain Ethiopian airline which is 100% Govt owned and ranks as one of the best airlines in the world travelling to all continents.

How do you explain Singapore Airlines, KLM, air France, British airways all better than Ethiopian airlines all quoted on their respective stock exchange? Margaret Thatcher had to privatise British airways in 1981 to return it to profitability.

If we want to be better than the best we need to start using yardstick that surpasses the best all countries stated have better economies than Ethiopia, we need to start looking at countries that transcended from poverty to prosperity in the last 50 years as model for our growth, countries like Singapore, south Korea, Japan etc

First of all I don't see the reason why government is involving herself in business, their responsibility is to create a level playing field, create the modalities of how business should be run in the state and collect their taxes. that said, what is the use of crown jewels when people are suffering, secondly the crown jewels is presently servicing mostly government officials in the form of salaries n running cost the people profit little.

Selling these assets will force our government to think on other revenue generation options, remember the reason most people don't start their business is cos a salary is still coming in the salary stops they are forced to think same goes for government.

Let the Chinese buy these assets and they will experience astronomical growth, if politicians want to buy it that's fine but the sale should be claused in such a way that the assets can be repossessed if the buyer fails to meet growth criteria.

Government of Developed countries don't own business assets they simply create an enabling environment for business to thrive and they collect their taxes, in Singapore their water works was once run by government but today it is quoted in the Singapore stock exchange, moral is an investor always makes things work cos his survival depends on it and any smart governments Moto should be the investors have to work cos our survival depends on them.

No political party can stand with Govonors as it's Pilar's , bamanga tukur warned pdp about this but they didn't listen.

I see the problem as one of education than illiteracy, there are many birth control methods but most poor families are either not educated or poorly educated about these methods.

Secondly cost of health care is kind of high for the average Nigerian a family that can barely feed on $1 a day how do you expect them to afford birth control like condom or contraceptive pill.

Thirdly religious sentiments people believe that children are from God but forget that they trigger Gods hand in giving them children through sex, I believe the religious institutions have a role to play in straighting folks out.

Fourthly we have very weak laws in the country, if a parent knows he can go to jail for not caring for their children they will sit up, if we have child labour laws or social services that come to take away peoples children that they can't care for the menace will reduce.

I hope our athletes can see this, bolt knows that his days are numbered as a champion due to his age. There is life outside sports and it needs be prepared for.