₦airaland Forum

JDJ4:
A Very Big Mistake Of My Life

Hi nairalanders.

Please pardon me in case of any grammatical error. My story will be long, pls kindly bear with me and read to the finishing point. I'm ready to accept any insulting comments, it doesn't matter to me now.

I'm a 25 years old guy, not really financially buoyant but an average, money never dries in my pocket and back account as a hustler. Am currently still in part time program in university.

Now let me go straight to the point, here is my story. I started dating one beautiful girl back then in 2014, we were in love until something came up. There was a time I came home and she visited, that was the beginning of our separation, my mother warned me to stay away from her that she doesn't like her.

Honestly, I didn't know how to breakup with her without hurting her because she loved and cared for me so much. I love my mother so much and I listen to her as well. So, I started to avoid her, reducing my number of calls with her, sometimes when I visited home I won't tell her. All these to make her change her mind but all to no avail, I couldn't tell her what's up so that she won't hate my mother and make both of them enemies of each other.

She noticed my unprecedented and unusual behaviors, she asked me what has she done I only told her that I was very busy and concentrating on something. She later got fade up and started minding her own business because sometimes she would call I won't pick her calls, so she decided to let me be.

Fast forward to early this year, she went for a business trip and returned, so I decided to pay her a visit because even though we are no longer in love but we are still friends. I was hoping to visit her in her shop but she wasn't there, she told me to come to her apartment, I went there, we gist and had funs, she started making a move to me and we eventually had an unprotected sex.

I was thinking that she was a big girl and can take care of herself but after one month plus she called me and told me that she was pregnant, I was speechless and couldn't believe her, she threatened to report the case to my mother if I didn't show up and proffer solutions, my mind jumped. I hurried to her place and she showed me the pregnancy test result, we calculated the months and it was exactly the day I had sex with her, from that day till the month is exactly what was written on the paper.

To cut the story short, I got lost in thought until she waked me from my daydream, I told her straight that I wasn't ready for that, she should do something about it, so both of us agreed to terminate it, it was done successfully, I wasted much money on that moment but it didn't bother me.

So, after a while she called me and told me the sudden changes in her business that money disappeared from her hands always. She went home and complained to her dad, her dad suggested they should visit a native doctor to find out what was the problem. They visited the native doctor and he apparently exposed and told her what she did, that the pregnancy she terminated was the reason behind her misfortune. He listed all the things she will buy for cleansing and the total money involved. She called me and told me the development and demanded my own contribution (money), at that moment I didn't really have money to provide and she couldn't believe me.

Now am afraid if she will angrily expose me because she told her people that the person that got her the pregnancy is not around he traveled abroad. I haven't answered her since then because I have been busy thinking about my mistake, regretting the day I visited her, crying had I know. I returned but I didn't tell her so she won't visit me. Right now am having a double mind if I should adhere to what she told me by contributing money for the stuff, but the other hand, am asking for God's mercy upon my life, so if I should contribute money now it means I will be committing sin upon sin. I don't really know what to do now, I told her that I will visit her whenever I return to discuss with her but I haven't done that.

Presently I have a fiancee am dating now, my mother knows about her and she accepted her as well, also thinking about settling down with her when the time comes. I will hurt and loose her if what I did exposed.

Pls advice me my good people before I commit suicide and end everything, you can insult me if you like, it doesn't matter to me now, am very desperate human being now. The native doctor even told her to tell whoever that got her the pregnancy to also do his own cleansing or else he will encounter problems in life.

Should I also listen to the native doctor man or seek God's mercy, of whose report shall I believe..? Will there really be any problem, and what do I tell her now.

Uphand:
Make them dey battle am there, SA people and wahala na 5 and 6. Well see my signature below if you want to double your income stream and establish yourself in life.

Slawormir:
Damnnnnn niggarrr
Isoright
This shit better end o. It is no longer funny

Damnnnnn
You all should stop begging online. Last las we all go dey alright! no matter what! Manage what you have and adjust

The thing dey affect every body including we bombers
Even the davido when buy house for he staff self na manage the guy take run am
Even self nobody knows if na truth say he really buy am

Since day before yesterday me nor fit buy a bottle of Heineken anymore

I just dey inside my santum dey smoke and do my normal bombing. Funny enough client nor dey respond again
WeChat worst. Them one use tough policy, rules , security and strong verification rules take kill person

Anyhow sha. I go try shake body make i do you one or two thousand naira. Message me. I go drop my American number for WhatsApp

IamAnderson:
dogs don't see spirits, they have hyper sensitive ears and noses meaning they can hear and smell things that you don't realize are close by.
the dog was barking because it heard something not because it saw spirits.

Preshieben:
Okay

So am 19 years(tho I'll be 20 on June)
A final year student
I have a partime work which pays very well
So I must say am doing very well all by myself
My problem now is I don't seem to fall in love with any guy
I Know this shouldn't be my worry
But I want to get married at 23 or 24yrs
And I haven't been in any serious relationship before
Am beautiful tho,I respect alot and am a very nice person
I play around when once am in a relationship and often it leads to breakup
I hang out mostly wwith men old enough to be my dad and I enjoy their company
What could be the reason?

N/B; please no one one should come here and call me a kid

Age is just a number

MiztaFabuloz:
Just imagine what am eating this afternoon because of corona issue. No better food anywhere and we are not sure when everything will become normal again.

This suffer is becoming unbearable.

vybzkartel:
If a lady has a serious guy but still sends you her pix when you ask, does that mean there is a chance of you getting her?

Sojiboi:
My fellow nairalanders I greet the house ohh,am a graduate jobless but am not searching for a job because i have a place in the family business which am occupying.I said am jobbless because I don't earn a salary but am not poor because am a hustler and i take good care of myself,please I have this girlfriend and we started dating late December last year 2019,she keeps telling me she doesn't care about my money because am just starting life but she asked me to change her phone the first week we started dating which I vehemently refused,last week she asked me if I was going to marry her but I told her I can't promise anyone marriage that I don't do that moreover am not ready because am still in my father's house,her attitude changed a little bit and she started telling about random guys who promised her heaven on earth,meanwhile we have been taking care of each other since this lockdown/isolation period because she stays with her parents close to my house so she really keeps me company since my family traveled.
Sometimes I take her out buy her I surrender chicken (roasted chicken)cake,ice cream etc despite the lockdown I still manage to give her money in case she wants to eat something outside so she can buy whatever she wants.On Saturday she said I should give her money to make her nails which I did despite the rumours of the lockdown extension then on Sunday(easter) she told me she felt like going out and I told her am not interested then she said she wants to lick ice cream then I told her I don't have money for that and she kept her cool,she met me in a restaurant where I called her to meet me while eating dinner that evening and she ordered a drink she couldn't finish and then she asked me to finish it but I refused she even tried to force me by putting it in my mouth but i rejected it this pissed me off because she told me she had taken several drinks at home that day so maybe she just wants me to spend money,this morning I called her to come over and we had breakfast together then she said she wants to drink malt and milk I told her she should learn how to manage because we don't know when our normal lives will resume,this is our third week at home or is it because i tell her am broke and then i will take her out to flex?please I don't know what's up with her attitude although she washed my bedsheets and pillow cases this morning moreover she's very hot.
NB:When the going was good sometimes we spent the weekend in a hotel with all the bills on me and i do send her money when she was in school before this coro baby issue.
Please I need your advice.

sisisioge:
The dowry return thing is an igbo thing but I think her people would have to return same to your people.


Regarding the visitation rights, biko draw the agreement together or get a lawyer to help with that as it is important that you guys do this in agreement and cordiality. Does it include provision for child support too? What were her concerns for only allowing visitation within her premises? It is not easy o...try not to escalate the matter too much so you can continue to have assess to your kids. Person wey carry them go before fit disappear patapata with them...good luck.

RuudVanNisteroy:
I don't know why they give out "special soap" to members. They can even tell you to go and bath in a river at a certain time.

Escabado:
My girlfriend came over to my place today for Easter celebration, as she was cooking for me .I checked her phone and saw Ballance of 2.5 million naira oh my God.i just kept quiet . I searched her small bag and saw N8,500 cash and while she was going she say I should give her transport money and I gave her 4k and she collected.please my brothers does it mean girls are this heartless or what and she say she Loves me . Should I go ahead and marry her ??

@ubunja , @ilegend , @gbemi , @expert17 @mansions @nobody @everyone

Shibaraba:
Sweet country
I have a proposition. I suggest the federal government should, instead of wasting money in the name of nysc for youths, make them dey send every youth go America or Europe for at least three months after school so we go see as people dey live over there. See organisation na. See love. See order . See peace. See equality . Everybody comport. That is a country that works.

If this were to be naija, fight go Don happen since na. See that woman dey wave after she Don drop food. For here she go Don turn Jesus Christ. Dey shout line up, line up. People go dey even bribe them to collect aid. That one na if dem mc oluomo wannabees never carry bottle scatter the whole place.Different headline the next day Explorers headline go read
Foodbank turns blood bank as touts clash in abule egba
Pm express headline
50 killed as food sharing turns blow sharing
Igberetv headline
Man divorces wife in ejigbo as he discovers that she slept with officials before food was handed out.
Cyriacius izuekwe headline
Horror as bloodbath reigns in mushin over food
Autojosh headline
How to care for you car while queueing to access foodaid
And our resident asslicker headline Alex reports
Regina Daniels poses with recipients of food aid in abakaliki


By the way,that last picture, I fit bet my blokos na our sisters those hanty be. One back Pikin another just relax. By the way if you no get any of those wrapper for house you're not a Nigerian

Christeety:
How can you say its normal for prophet to sleep with girls. What kind of cheap lies are this, all for likes?. May God forgive you. I don't blame you
I blame those who have soiled the name of the church.

iLegendd:
One more thing I want you to go home with it is: If you went to school, don't put all your hopes in your certificate.

Don't think it's work you'll use to become wealthy and nothing else even if you went to the best school in the world or you graduated with distinction or first class.

I made this mistake and I suffered it. When I returned to Nigeria some years ago after my university days in one of the top universities in world, I felt like I have arrived.

I booked a flight, Airik Air, and went to Abuja to process my NYSC. Finally, NYSC came and gone and I still felt I'm going to get a cool company job in Total or Agip since these two oil companies are in my community.

Guess what? It never worked — it's not about your certificate, but connection. I had the certificate, but the connection wasn't there.

By the way, the state government handled everything about my school since it was a merit international scholarship. After years upon years of wasting at home and feeling depressed or almost depressed, but still optimistic about life, it hit me harder.

Buhari won the 2015 election and I moved from 3 square meals to 2 and in 2016/2017, I moved to 1 meal a day and drinking of garri. 2016/2017 were the worst years of my entire life. I suffered, cried, and people called me lazy behind my back. In this 2016, with...

Typing...

whyteteeth:
Eversince this shot down I have been home with my parents and there is a way my dad looks at one particular lady whenever she comes around to buy things in my mother's shop which I think is inappropriate. He teases her and calls her sweet names also. As a guy I have tried not to take it serious since it's one thing a lot of men do but I am beginning to suspect my dad for trying to have an extramarital affair with this said woman. She is beautiful though and she is still a young woman while my dad is in his fifties.

Now today My father asked this same woman who happens to be a female tailor and makes female clothes to help him fix a zip in one of his trousers, which has possibly gone bad.

The woman blushed and didn't really give him much attention or any reasonable answer while he was busy saying it repeatedly till the woman left. I find this a little bit disturbing and inappropriate and possibly giving wrong signals. I mean it's not like it's a new clothe the woman was making for him or something. .

Another reason why I find this inappropriate and indecent is that, the zip can actually be fixed by any of these aboki people that mend clothes. Aboki do pass around my area every now and then, even yesterday they passed. So I want to know if my dad is up to something? And if he is, well i will just know for knowing sake.

desari:
Nairalanders,

I am a career woman in my late 20's living in the U.S. It has been almost impossible for me to meet good Nigerian men much less Nigerian men at my financial level. As you all know the U.S is very big; i generally don't hang out with Nigerians..not that i don't want to, i just don't know where and how to go about meeting up with my people. When i do go out to naija lounges or clubs in my area, all i find are little kids playing around or 419ers( which i would rather remain single than have anything to do with them). I have tried the church avenue, but i am catholic, and catholic churches in the U.S are much different from naija catholic churches. I live in NYC, so anyone that can give me pointers on where to meet eligible professional Naija men would be great.

I have been very blessed and fortunate in my chosen career, and i would want a partner that can pull his own weight financially in a relationship. Though i have accepted that i would most likely do much better than a potential partner, i can never respect a man that would find it hard to give me money to cook food in the house and take care of some bills, instead of assuming i will take care of it since i make much more. Akatas and white men chase me all day, but i would rather settle down with a Nigerian man(preferably yoruba) i am half yoruba and half something else I grew up in naija, so i speak yoruba and can cook naija food well well.

Let me add that i am well mannered and come from a great family. Guys and girls, if you have single brothers who are financially stable, between 29 and 35 years old looking to settle down, please IM me. Thanks!

porshnuel:
I would like to go straight to the point..... I met her two weeks ago... We exchanged numbers...we became very close....she calls at least twice daily. She told me her secrets,we kissed (didn't ask her out) everything just happened....all of a sudden no issues whatsoever she stopped picking my calls......i deleted her number after the fourth attempt of calling without she returning my call or text, i feel she wants to play games with me...which I don't have patience for.... It's been 4days now... I havent seen or heard from her.... ....i just want to know if anybody might have a clue of what really made her change towards me.... Though I have moved on..... But it still baffles me because we became very close...Though If she calls back na her Punni go suffer the consequences..

llakes4real:
https://www.dailytrust.com.ng/discos-fg-agree-on-2-months-free-electricity-for-nigerians.html/amp

JKisOK:
https://punchng.com/91-begin-quarantine-as-more-returnees-take-land-borders/

Erediauwa:
"Hi, I am sorry about this inconvenience. I had my baby last week and googled baby pics to use to illustrate my baby had come, before I take pics of mine. I saw the beautiful babys nails and couldn't help but use it."

Yes maybe her baby get bad fingers







Lol, just imagine the excuse our "Illustrating" actress had to give... The original owner of the baby used her own baby to illustrate, so why can't our Illustrating actress use her own baby to illustrate instead of stealing pics?

Is she ashamed of her baby's fingers?

Ishitinyourlife:
I live in the west, I'm single and in my late thirties, I work independently I have a store/cybercafe/gamehouse where I sell electronics like home sound system, games, pads, phone accessories, mobile phones etc and I also have a cyber cafe and a game house in the same building.

I have about 6 workers that run the place with me cos I can't be everywhere at all time and the shop is a little big. Among my workers is a very beautiful 22 year old undergraduate that works for me when she gets off school and during holidays. I like all my workers and I treat them right but I'm not really a guy that gets personal with people so they know I have boundaries, but this girl is exceptional. She takes her work diligently makes even more sales than me in the shop most of the time cos she is good with people.

This girl is very attractive and she dresses nice too. She doesn't wear revealing clothes. She's modest, all calm. I used to buy food from restaurants to eat in the shop before because I don't really like cooking but she told me I don't need to do that, she can make my food and bring it over to the shop for me. Like she will bring me food in the morning before school and afternoon and she refused to collect a dime from me.

People are starting to feel a certain vibe among us cos she smiles whenever she looks at me and even my workers do call her oga's wife jokingly.

In truth I like the girl but I don't know if asking her out might cause a problem to my business.

Advise me please.

Tankunland:
When Shola's mom called me her first question was do i know who the father of Samuel is and I replied and said yes of course it's her grand daughters dad and she said to me I'm the real father of Samuel and that her late daughter reiterated it 2 days before she died guys I went crazy again.


Why me, why me, why me was the question I was asking my self. Why is all this thing's happening to me was the question that just kept repeating itself in my head.


I went to see my boy and the connection was instant ooo just carrying him again after 6 months send shivers down my spine and now I'm just waiting for his Grandma to tell the other guy that Samuel is mine.


I have already started sending my kid small small money again for his up keep Lol even tho not much because I don't even have much now but i would do everything within my power to give this Young kid the best of life that me and his late mother my queen his mother planned for him even when I never knew he was mine.


Wow I'm done. My hands ache. Just wanna say thank you to Seun Osewa for this beautiful forum, thank you to Joe Abah for retweeting that tweet even tho it hasn't yield devident yet but thanks and thank you to those beautiful souls that saved my life with that 9k I know you remember me and I say God bless you.


and to those on the verge of suicide I tell you that you can overcome and it's not the end of the world for you and Whatever you are passing through has an end ok and I need you to realize people somewhere is passing through the same or even harder situation than you. Don't give up, don't stop praying even tho I lost my faith a lil but don't lose yours because only the almighty can do all things.


To my young sister's reading this please be contented with what your man gives to you. The course of sholas death was so painful when I heard but please my dear sister dont date a Yahoo boy for any reason or even go out with one.


I tell you Yahoo doesn't work again and what they do now is Yahoo plus and some of this guy's are heartless and don't care about anyone than just to make that fetish money amd they would use you and any other girl they find to keep that money coming.


To my Young King's reading this don't have a girlfriend in your 20s please. Use that time to develop your self. Work hard to make yourself better as getting a girlfriend would really slow you dowm from attaining that top you want to go.

And last Please if you are too weak to move on or too tired to live again and you think suicide is your escape please speak out, yes some would laugh at you and call you names but speak out as there is that one person that would listen to you.



I LOVE YOU SHOLA AND REST IN PEACE

Tankunland:
From then on I was just living a purposely life because there wasn't the will to live again. I was so lonely, there wasn't anyone to talk to or laugh with. No one chatted me up again, I would go some time's 2 days without a meal because there wasn't any food to eat, my soap got finished and I had to start to use Klin detergent to bath, yes I always looked good and smiled when I went outside because I still had lot of good clothes but deep down I was dying slowly and mightily lonely and depressed


I would go make block at Fagba railway and be paid 1500 but that 1500 is spend this way. 200 goes for my transport, 200 to eat morning food, I would buy Tramadol 100 to numb the pain from carrying 700 blocks per day, I would use 300 to eat afternoon meal and another 100 tramadol before you sleep to numb the pain growing on my hip again and another 200 naira food at night again, I was just frustrated and each night i wet my pillow with tears and prayed to die while sleeping anf each morning I woke up with a fake smile when I saw people.


I had to stop making block as I was getting addicted to Tramadol as that could finally mean the end of my life as addiction to tramadol without a job or money would surely lead me to crime and I went to start making bread in a bakery and we would be paid 600 per night after we have worked so hard during the night. All this stuff got me so frustrated and depressed and always angry and just wanting to end it all

You might asked don't I have Uncle's or Aunt yes I did but none came to my aid whenever I swallowed my pride to asked them for help and all they would say is why did I play football and not go to school and I went this way till that hot September 5 of 2019 after trekking so much and knocking on the gate of more than 10 hotels and got home to meet my neighbor needing me to go fix that light.


I just couldn't take it anymore and I was just within seconds of downing that sniper when I shamefully begged here and this where few reasons why I spiraled into deep depression.
(1) My girlfriend left me
(2) a boy that was already sleeping in my arms and chest was taking from me.
(3) used to do giveaway to those that were broke every single Tuesday on my WhatsApp and now my WhatsApp was like a ghost land.
(4) remember eating 2 bags of Rice in the year 2018 alone and now I couldn't even afford a proper meal again.
(5) my soap was 2k that lasted less than 2 weeks and my cream 4k and now I used Klin detergent to bath.
(6) I gave those almajires in my bus stop 200 per day i kid you not and now I didn't even have 1 naira on me again.
(7) how I single handedly buried Mom but now I couldn't even afford 200 to go look for a job unless i trek