₦airaland Forum

Special Adviser

Who says this woman cant become Mrs Oshiomole
Is this woman not beautiful enough to be a first lady?
Im sure by the time this woman start to "Behind" up now, the governor will realise "she isn't bad anyway".

All in all, I'm happy for the woman.

kulyie: haaaa great god.yorubas say you dont handle some matters toughly simply because it appears tough.you will just create a rebellious,disrespectful and wayward girl out of her.you dont handle such matters with that kind of approach.if you live or work around undergraduates,you will understand better.to her,if you tell her that she will say brother mi o love mi.my brother doesnt like me,i asked him for money,he didnt give me and the guy i am dating gave me and now he is angry i am using a 5ok phone because he is not using one ,he doesnt want me to date this guy etc

i will rather be disrespected now and gain my respect later, when she realises that it's nothing but the truth.
Personally, when i love someone, i dont mix words up with them, i go straight to the point, if you like, accept, if you like, dont, but i know that within the person, he/she will know that i spoke the truth. We dont need to be afraid to say the truth, we all know that truth hurts but it also has it's healing balm when acceppted.
For example, just last week, a younger sister of mine(a cousin) came visiting, she has started bleaching her skin. I told her straightforward. I just said, oh baby, you have started bleaching your skin, do you know the health impliations? Better stop it now before you start regretting. This is not an undergraduate o, she's a married woman, a banker, a graduate of over 7 years ago.
That's me sha.
It's an individual thing.

If you see two friends or brothers or relatives or sisters, etc who went inside to discuss and they come out smiling and laughing with each other, they have only gone inside to deceive themselves, but if on the other hand, you see both of them frowning with and at each other when they are coming out, they have discussed truthfully with each other, and you know, truth hurts, but later, it will be appreciated.

@op, if you truly love your cousin as you claim, do not mix words, say the truth, she may not like it now, she will definately realise it and appreciate it later. She may fight or disrespect you now, but later, she will come and apologise and you will be the most respected person in her life.
The truth is what is an undergraduate who can't afford to raise 10k by herself doing with a 50k phone. To even think her bf is also an undergraduate, where did she think the guy got the money to buy the gift for her?

I dont want to talk much, but. Please, if you really like her as you claim, have a real heart-to-heart discussion with her, so that, she won't have herself to blame in the future for her past deeds.
May God help us all.

jeffizy: I will o! Without thinking twice.

abi o.
Confession time.

Calling my elder brother my husband, because i knw that i'm his favourite.

So sad!
But i believe that every dissapointment is a blessing in disguise. I pray this turn out to be blessings to him.

This is not facebook crashing a marriage. It is the insecurity of the woman that want to crash that marriage.




And probably, may be the man has not put himself in a situation where he can be trusted by his wife.
Only God knows, so many things must have been going on in that marriage.

Marriage has its ups and downs, and it takes determination and maturity from both of them to make the marriage work.
May God help us all.

The last paragraph is what caught my attention.

Even if the couple is having problem with each other, why are the kids involved?
Why can't they settle it, why can't they separate and go their individual ways? Why can't they involve the court to intervene on who the kids should stay with?


This is where those who believe in divorce usually score marks, because it would have been better for them to divorce than what the man did.

A South Florida man killed his wife and son with a crossbow, drove 460 miles to try and kill his other son, and then slit his own throat.
The violent, long-distance rampage took Pedro Maldonado Sr. from one end of the state to the other.
While the Broward County Sheriff’s Office continues to piece together a time line, detectives believe Maldonado shot and killed his 47-year-old wife, Monica Narvaez-Maldonado, and their 17-year-old son, Pedro Maldonado Jr., with a crossbow in their Weston townhouse sometime on Monday. Weston is located about 13 miles west of Fort Lauderdale.
The sheriff’s report says Maldonado, 53, then drove about 460 miles north to Tallahassee in an attempt to kill his older son, José Maldonado, who attends Florida State University.
“His dad did try to shoot him with the same handheld crossbow and the arrow hit Jose’s ear,” Dani Moschella, a spokeswoman for the sheriff’s department, told CNN. “Then his father tried to choke him, and José luckily was able to get away.”
José Maldonado never reported the attack to police, but it was his father’s confession to a friend on Tuesday that set authorities on his trail.
The Broward Sheriff’s report says Pedro Maldonado called a friend in Miami and admitted to killing his wife and son. A short time later, authorities found their bodies in the South Florida townhouse.
Later in the day, authorities learned that Maldonado might be in the Lake City area, about 100 miles east of Tallahassee. The Columbia County Sheriff’s Office found his SUV at a hotel.
After trying to contact Maldonado for hours, they entered his room and found him dead early Wednesday. He slit his own throat, authorities said.
“I knew them. They were good neighbors. I never heard anything from the house — no screaming, no fighting, nothing,” neighbor Ana Maldonado, who is not related to the family, told WSVN. “Terrible. I don’t see why parents have to get the kids involved. If you have a problem, solve it.”


http://www.punchng.com/news/man-kills-wife-son-with-crossbow/

damoskiy: There is something hidden that the monarch doesn't want to talk about...would say more things wen the thread hits front page...

there is no hidden things you know that we don't know. It's all politics.
It's all about ""if you are invited to come and eat, dont hold the hand of the person who invited you"
it's also about "he who plays the pipe, dictates the tune"
It's also about "one good turn deserves another"

so now, what are the hidden things you now think it's not known.

jeffizy: The Monarch has benefited immensely from the present Oyo state Government, hence, his loyalty to the incumbent.
Alaafin has a daughter in Ajimobi's cabinet and a local government has had his son as chairman in the last 5 years!

and you now say he shouldn't turn his request to visit down.
If na you nko, won't you do the same?

[quote author=Mayor_of_Lagos]Alao once played that card when he was governor, Alaafin turned the table on him.[/quote]score: 1-1
Alaafin=1
Akala=1
The counting continues.................

django1: Ajimobi has bought all the major monarchs with commissioner portfolio he gave to their sons.

and that is what is happening.
"ti enu ba je, oju a ti"

shidof: ogbon, ogbon lagbalagba fii sa fun malu

abi o.
The monarch didn't want to implicate himself.

How then can we bring the matter back for discussion?
We didn’t know that the President and the executive would come up with the idea of a national dialogue when we were doing the present constitution amendment when we came up with the amendment of Section 9 of the constitution. And for the matter to come up again, it must come in form of a formal motion. But because we are serving the people, we would be more than willing to do that if that is what the people of Nigeria desire.
If there is a debate on it in conversation and Nigerians believe that the way things are, we need to think along that line and be able to use it to resolve the existing political tension in this country, just as we did during the ill health of our late President, we would be more than willing as a national service to have a look into it and be able to reach a level of understanding in the National Assembly. So, we will be willing to discuss it provided that, that is exactly what Nigerians want. But, for now, the matter was defeated in the Senate. If we are going to bring it up again, there must be another motion to resuscitate it.
In view of the security challenges in the country, what is your take on the issue of multi-level policing?
Let me start with multi-level policing; Nigerians know my position on this. I have a personal position and an official position. I belong to an institution which is the Senate. And at the level of Committee on Constitution Amendment, it rejected the suggestion for the creation of state police; we could not take it, even to the floor. And as a person, it is my job and my responsibility to present the report of the committee and I needed to explain to my colleagues why we made that recommendation. The reason we gave was that Nigeria was not ripe for state police, though it will be for the future. That is the official position of the committee which I head.
As an individual, I believe we can never resolve our security challenges in Nigeria as long as we are doing what we are doing now. Never! If you like, continue to do what we are doing and the fact will repeat itself. We will still be having what we currently have. The reason is clear. No other country is doing what we are doing in term of policing. Most countries have adopted what I call decentralised policing. If you like, call it multi-level policing. Nobody does state police. What we now do is multi-level policing and if you like, call it decentralised policing. If the security challenges become complicated, you have to bring in complicated process to address it. We cannot have a federal type of government that adopts a unitary system of police and expect that to succeed. Even the white men, when they did the amalgamation, they knew that a centralised police could not work in Nigeria. So, the type of police they set up was the Native Authority Police. That was the first type of police we had in Nigeria. So, it worked. They even introduced the prison that was native authority based.
It was later in the years which followed, I think in 1936, that they decided to set up a federal police. So, the federal police and local authority police co-existed together till 1966 when the army took over. When they took over, they set up a committee to review that type of police and they came to the conclusion that they were using it to intimidate political enemies. It was bound to happen because the white men did not bother to set up a structure to regulate that kind of level of policing. So, there was nothing like Police Service Commission, may be at the centre, with a guideline to structure that type of native authority policing to be able to determine at what bound they must stop. So, they were doing things the way they liked.


http://www.punchng.com/politics/single-term-tenure-panacea-for-succession-crisis-ekweremadu/

In this interview with journalists, the Deputy President of the Senate and Chairman, Senate Committee on the Review of the 1999 Constitution, Senator Ike Ekweremadu, speaks on single tenure for elected officials, state police and sundry issues.JOHN ALECHENUwas there
inthe light of current happenings within the polity, are you still an advocate of single-term tenure for elected officials?
Yes, single term is an important issue to me. When the matter came up at the level of our committee, we were mindful of the political atmosphere. We drew inspiration from what happened in other jurisdictions. It happened in Latin Americas in the 70s. They had a circumstance we find ourselves today. The issue of transition from one administration to another was a major issue and there was crisis within their region. So, they started to amend their constitution at that time to create a single term in each of those countries and it was their transition period. And this now established their democracy. And some of them amended their constitution to go back to two terms of four years, five years or six years. So, we thought it was something we can recommend to our country.
Of what benefit will this to Nigeria considering our peculiarities?
If you look at what is going on now, all the core problems we have in all the parties centre on the issue of succession. So, we believe strongly that, that matter can still be revisited. But I think the mistake we made in our recommendation was where we said the incumbent would not benefit from it. Then, there was a kind of coalition of forces to defeat it. So, I believe that if the players in the polity or stakeholders are able to come together, I believe strongly that this is one way to deal with the situation. It could be a win-win situation for everybody. And I believe that the way it could work is, now, people have been elected for four years; let everybody completes the four years tenure for which he or she is elected. And then, through the doctrine of necessity, or a sort of jurisprudential approach, do some kind of transition of two years. In which case, those present occupiers like the President and state governors, who are completing their tenures, may be, will now do another two years that would end in 2017. You can see that those who are fighting the President, their complaint is that, if the President gets his second term when they are gone, he would start to chase them. So, if we all agree that, that is a way to solve the problem, after two years, both the President and other governors now exit, I believe that the fear would not be there and there would not be much pressure on the polity.
We don’t have much problem with the legislative positions. We can go ahead and hold legislative election in 2015. The advantage there is when we organise the legislative election in 2015, then we conduct executive election in 2017, we have two-year gap for the INEC to have a breathing space to prepare well.
In America for instance, there is this two years separation. In fact, in most countries even in Senegal, and other places in Africa, they have adopted such separation of legislative elections from executive elections. If we create a two-year gap, it creates a situation where the country would not be engulfed in crisis in the process of conducting all the elections at the same time. I think it is something we have to reflect on and see if there is something that can help resolve some of the challenges that we currently have. I hope that if we are able to do that and we all agree to it, it will solve even the executive situations.
It is believed that most of the challenges we have today result from charged atmosphere arising from jammed elections. And somehow, everybody will benefit. All we need to do is to exercise patience and give them two more years. After that, we move to one term tenure that can be five years, six years or seven years depending on what we all agree upon. The cost of all these elections and all the problems that come with it would have all been resolved. So, it will help to reduce cost of election and also reduce the crisis that may come up due to ambition to run for another term in office.

AN attempt by a former Governor of Oyo State, Adebayo Alao-Akala, to stage a comeback to the centre of the state’s politics suffered a setback as his request to visit the Alaafin of Oyo, Oba Lamidi Adeyemi, was rejected for security reasons.
The governor had written to the monarch on November 30, on his plan to visit the Alaafin on December 4.
The letter, which was signed by the former governor, stated that, “I equally wish to intimate you that my visit shall be political in nature.”
Although the Alaafin accepted the request in a reply sent to Alao-Akala on December 2, a fresh reply sent on Tuesday stated otherwise.
In his second reply to Alao-Akala, Alaafin said his status as a former governor of the state required adequate security which could not be guaranteed with the absence of the state Governor, Abiola Ajimobi, from the state.
“Ajimobi is the chief security officer in the state and he is presently out of the state. Owing to his absence, necessary security arrangements could not be facilitated. I would like to advise that your courtesy visit to me in the palace be rescheduled to some other time when necessary and adequate security protocols would be put in place. In the mean time, accept my warmest fatherly affection and prayers,” Alaafin wrote.



http://www.punchng.com/news/alaafin-turns-down-akalas-request-for-courtesy-visit/

Sal C: My friend who was delivered of a baby girl barely two months ago wants to get a divorce because her husband is so fond of kissing their baby which she finds suspicious.
She has also been suspecting the man has been cheating on her before now but has no evidence to prove that.

I really find this disturbing and have been trying to talk sense into her but the issue is getting out of hand.

Please i need your advice.

@op, do you stay with them?
If yes, what have you noticed about the accusation?
If no, there might be something your friend might have seen which is too heavy for the mouth to say out, so, stay clear and neutral.


From my understanding, it could be as a result of one or more of the following.....

~ She might be suffering from Post-natal Depression.

~ She might have been tired of that marriage due to one or more incidences which has happened previously in the marriage.

~ She might have been deceived by some people who either wants her or want her hubby.

~She might be spiritually disturbed, which means, she may not know what she' s doing.


@op, what you can do is to refer her to a psychologists/counsellor, she might open up for him/her, aside that, i doubt if anyone here can really say what is really happening or help her.
May God help and direct her rightly.
Sincerely, i sympathise with her. Her case is a serious one, because there is no woman who will not appreciate a loving dad to her daughter, (if he was actually loving), i really do sympathise with her.

Talk of power of addiction.
May God help us.

It starts from the foundation, from those saying if their wives know what they are earning, their wives would start making unneessary demands, does that mean you dont know or trust what your wife can do , why did you marry a woman you cant be opened to? Why did you marry a woman that is not prudent? If your wife see this your comment, will she be happy with you.
A wise man builds his house on a rock, while the fools do not. Most things that you men do is part of why your wives may be behaving the way they do. If you decide not to let your wife know how much you earn, and your wife also decide such, how will you describe your marriage. To me personally, being completely opened to each other will save you a lot of stress and accrue so many advantages to you and doing otherwise certainly means you people are not in total unity. A wise man will even make his wife the custodian of his money, (that is if they aint operating joing account and joint spending), so that, the wife will already know the capacity and financial capability of the man, thus, preventing unnecessary demands.


However, to we ladies, please, let our impact be felt at home, let's put ourselves in the situation where our husbands will trust us, making unnecessary demands when we know that our men are financially bouyant will not let them trust us, and asking a full grown up man what he used his money for when our demands are not meant is completely unnecessary. Money is one of the major causes of conflict in a marriage, and if it is handled very well, it can be one of the causes of joy in a marriage. You work, i work, no one should be a burden on anyone, my opinion, please.
May God help us all.

You're such a wonderful daughter to your dad, and may God reward you abundantly for that, may your children and children children be wonderful to you too in every way you want it.

Thank God for successful surgery, our Lord is ever faithful. Wishing him speedy recovery in Jesus name.
This december will not distabilise us in Jesus name.
It is well.

Be calm, and remember that I am the Lord, thy God, who healeth thee, says the Lord.

It is well with yur dad!

Thank God im already married, since my childhood, i have decided, and i stood by my decision.

1. I cant marry any man who is one hour younger than me.
And
2. I cant marry any man who is more than 3 years older than me.

I took the two decisions seriously. There was a guy who could kill in order to win me over, i didn't even allow him to do the "toasting" before i told him off not to bother, all because he was 6 years older than me, on this issue, he fell so sick and almost lost his life begging me, but because of my decision, i only sypathised with him, never gave him chance to even be closer to me unnecessarily.
My own sha o. Thank God i've not and i will not have any cause to regret my marriage.
As per submission, any woman that will not submit to her hubby will not, even if he's 20 years older than her and the one that will submit will do even if she's 8 years older than him.

It's very unfortunate that in this modern age, some people still dont realise that there is more to marriage than popping out babies.

@op, though, in Africa, we love children so much, we see children as reward or evidence of good marriages, but when it's made as a condition with which a lady can be considered marriageable, then, the foundation of that marriage is already shaking, even when no brick has been put on it.
To be candid, there are soooo many storms in marriages, it is the type of foundation on which a marriage is built that will determine if the marriage will survive the storm or not.

I will suggest that both of them do still have to tarry a little in order to learn(through guidance and counselling)the rudiments of marriage before venturing into it.
May God give them the wisdom to do things aright. Amen.

@op, to answer your question.


Yes, there are women who can agree to such agreement, but conditionally willingly; they include.....

~the desperate ones,(desperados) those who want to bear that "Mrs" title at all cost; by fire, by thunder. They are the one who forgets that, not everyone will get married, and so, they lok so desperate to marry, they may be younger or older.


~the covetious ones; those who want to reap where they did not sow, whenever they see lovely couples, the get filled with envy and jealousy, and they start boasting within them that, it's not only that woman that will be enjoying the wealth of that man, i must to enjoy from it, whether she likes it or not, those are the types of women who will usually go out of their ways to please men outside, in order to win him over. They are very dangerous people, most times, they wont even mind going into jazz to ensure they are hooked by the man, talk of "love portion" They never know what the first woman have endured with the man before the way is opened unto them.


~the fo ols and the stu pid ones; these are the ones who dont marry for love, they claim they go spiritual about it and what ifa told them is to marry the man, even if the man already have 8 wives.


~those who think it's already late for them to find a husband, and what they usually do is just to decide within themselves that they will ensure they get pregnant for any man that comes calling, regardless of his marital status. They usually have this myopic thinking that once a woman is above 35 years old, she can only be a second or third wife, and as a man thinks, so is he, since that is what is in their mind, thinking about all the time, most times, that is what usually happen to them.

I wish you goodluck on whichever type the gods directed to you, i just pray you won't catch untimely death through it.

jeffizy: I'm not talking about the average policeman/policewoman.
Let's talk about the military.
Will you marry a man or woman who's primary occupation is to protect his/her fatherland which may involve killing another human if situation warrants?

In other words will you marry someone who has been trained and licensed to kill?

that they are trained/licences to kill doesn't mean they will kill their spouse, even if he/she offends them. There is no law that supports that. Anyone that tries that will be made to face the wrath of the law.
They're even one of the best spouse one can get, because they know the law and they also realise what law can do to them.
The same thing is applicable to wrestlers and boxers.
May God help us all.

What they need is EMPATHY not SYMPATHY.
May God help us all.

Carolinee: no nah! Jst 4 ur own research..if u care!

ok, thanks.

From the story, i doubt if Blessing is not her biological daughter. She should be examined mentally, she might be suffering from mental disorder, who knows, not everyone we see as sane people are actually sane, such people just need something to trigger their madness and the show begins, it is after the deed is done that their eyes will now be opened.
Under NORMAL circumstances, no one should do this to anyone, not to talk of one's child, but if and when the mental condition is abnormal and the person is not appropriately treated, then, expect anything.

I will suggest that she is first treated, and later when she's alright, be made to face the wrath of the law to serve as deterrent to others who might be thinking they can be treating their children anyhow.
May God help us all.

Carolinee: 1.What is your full name? Why did your parents select this name for you? Did you have a nickname?
2.When and where were you born?
3.How did your family come to live there?
4.Were there other family members in the area? Who?
5.What was the house (apartment, farm, etc.) like? How many rooms? Bathrooms? Did it have electricity? Indoor plumbing? Telephones?
6.Were there any special items in the house that you remember?
7.What is your earliest childhood memory?
8.Describe the personalities of your family members.
9.What kind of games did you play growing up?
10.What was your favorite toy and why?
11.What was your favorite thing to do for fun (movies, beach, etc.)?
12.Did you have family chores? What were they? Which was your least favorite?
13.Did you receive an allowance? How much? Did you save your money or spend it?
14.What was school like for you as a child? What were your best and worst subjects? Where did you attend grade school? High school? College?
15.What school activities and sports did you participate in?
16.Do you remember any fads from your youth? Popular hairstyles? Clothes?
17.Who were your childhood heroes?
18.What were your favorite songs and music?
19.Did you have any pets? If so, what kind and what were their names?
20.What was your religion growing up? What church, if any, did you attend?
21.Were you ever mentioned in a newspaper?
22.Who were your friends when you were growing up?
23.What world events had the most impact on you while you were growing up? Did any of them personally affect your family?
24.Describe a typical family dinner. Did you all eat together as a family? Who did the cooking? What were your favorite foods?
25.How were holidays (birthdays, Christmas, etc.) celebrated in your family? Did your family have special traditions?
26.How is the world today different from what it was like when you were a child?
27.Who was the oldest relative you remember as a child? 28.What do you remember about them?
29.What do you know about your family surname?
30.Is there a naming tradition in your family, such as always giving the firstborn son the name of his paternal grandfather?
31.What stories have come down to you about your parents? Grandparents? More distant ancestors?
32.Are there any stories about famous or infamous relatives in your family?
33.Have any recipes been passed down to you from family members?
34.Are there any physical characteristics that run in your family?
35.Are there any special heirlooms, photos, bibles or other memorabilia that have been passed down in your family?
36.What was the full name of your spouse? Siblings? Parents?
37.When and how did you meet your spouse? What did you do on dates?
38.What was it like when you proposed (or were proposed to)? Where and when did it happen? How did you feel?
39.Where and when did you get married?
40.What memory stands out the most from your wedding day?
41.How would you describe your spouse? What do (did) you admire most about them?
42.What do you believe is the key to a successful marriage?
43.How did you find out your were going to be a parent for the first time?
44.Why did you choose your children's names?
45.What was your proudest moment as a parent?
46.What did your family enjoy doing together?
47.What was your profession and how did you choose it?
48.If you could have had any other profession what would it have been? Why wasn't it your first choice?
Of all the things you learned from your parents, which do you feel was the most valuable?
49.What accomplishments were you the most proud of?
50.What is the one thing you most want people to remember about you?

are we to answer all these questions here?

angiemartinez: I just hope you are still the woman he once fell in love with because most women seems to be more comfortable as soon as they are married. they feel to look sexy is for the single ladies. whatever you did then that attracted you to him, please dont stop doing them becos most men compares alot. if there is anything you no he is complaning of, pls just try to work on it. it is well

so, whenever a man misbehaves, it's the wooman's fault, abi

angiemartinez: what is this one saying?

who are you referring to?

Unfortunately, many women are in this predicament, they never get appreciated, no matter what they do in the family, even if they don't sleep at all for a whole year, once she doesnt bring anything financial to the table, she will be referred to as not working, and that is one of the major reasons i will never accept to be a full time housewife, i must bring something to the table, no matter how meagre, so that, apart from me having my self esteem intact, i also wont be seen as not working, and earn more respect from all and sundry.
My opinion, anyway.

All in all, whatever rocks individual's boat.