₦airaland Forum

There he was, bouncing tru the school streets with faded jeans caressing some faded fila flip flop as amended by a federal constituents of abok1s. His YSL T-shirt looks like one teleported tru time long lost.
Yet he exude the confidence of a man Sure of his steps, certain of his future n in absolute control of his destiny. Yet still His wallet wail
He lives by d day. Accustomed to the rhythmic sounds is d choir host in his stomach. U need not invite them they auto sing.

That was two years ago until she came his way by the hands of a never sleeping star..... lonely was the lane she threaded home after a night class, accosted by some cultist who took her bag n Phone n almost raped her until, like an angel, he poped out of the dark n took on 3 guys with d heart even d lion cudnt afford. He left his mark on two with his jagged knife, while he wrestled with the third, she was gone in a Flash. Took her bag n went in search of her after d last one took to his heels.

Not finding her, he took d bag home. Went tru her Phone n called her Bestie to tell her to come pick up her bag n Phone @ a location, that was How it all began. .....


He was from d ghetto, she was from d plush n posh. She pays his fees, wash his cloths, feed his choir, and generally was there for him.
But u can take the man outta the ghetto, u can't take the ghetto outta the man , he hit her at every slight argument, embarrasses her in public, cheats on her to her face yet she kept coming back....they r married now.......


DRILL NUGGET 1

WHY DO GOOD GIRLS LOVE BAD BOYS?
Why are nice guys boring?
How can a nice guy become PSEUDO BAD and get the gurl of his dream?

Find out!

ucheHapers:
OP are u done jerking off or u're just getting started...

Pul a seat son
Sing no song
Sign no Bill

Till I free ur will
Clean ur Sins
Stopping u from some slings

chriskosherbal:
Story for the gods.

Malware Detected! VIPER, Quarantine

OK, got my aisle popped up, white paper strapped,
Brush on left hand(illogical), paint bucket on d right, let words flow Dear heavens I prays!
Oh mortals, How art thou but a forgetful baggage...muttered my mind

Oops.! screamed my totz.....This is a dating Drill! Not some time for fine word wine dum-dum ( Nah, not dah noun, dah object)


This wud be arranged in Drill Nuggets numbered down till the last guy-soul gets the jerk....

Yea just like Faculty, with ultra sound I see the babies in u n I'm about to take ur ignorant saddle and whoop y'all off ur oestrogen high horses, reformat memories , rewire minds.....

So help me God! Amen! ( If tupac can pray after inventing swear words in verses, so can I )

We begin by painting real life different dating senerios
Den dere after, the hard knocks straight from d streets.
Hang out ur ego bags gees, Cos balless guys shouldn't have an iota of that . Y'all sold it for a lil sniffs of some southern hemisphere u weren't even let a lil peep.
Nowz time to take em back! Whoohoo! Ladies, Bite me!


© DON

MODIFIED

There came a Day, God made Man n placed him in charged of all he had created. God even brought all the animals to him to put a final touch to them by givin them names n so it was that whatsoever Adam called them, stuck to them till date.

But man was lonely, Cos God only comes down in d kul of d morning to fellowship wit him after that, returns to heaven.

This was what lead to forming Eve. As a help suitable, a companion.
And so they dwelled joyfully, with Adam feeding d family from d shrubs, animals he kills n the likes.

Until one faithful, he let Eve feed d family n plunge d whole human race into great suffering n disarray!
You would notice that when Eve was deceived n ate of d fruit, nothing happened, heaven didnt move, God didnt decend. But immediately Adam ate, heavens reacted, God was sore Displeased, he came down furious! Such was the authority of man. He was made to hold sway

How does this related to d topic @ hand?
Well, i needed u to appreciate d fact that right from creation, God placed man in charge. To direct d affairs of his home n take control because he knows that women can think so deeply, cooly n calmly just that they end up thinking with their HEARTS instead of their HEADS

Now here is the crux of the issue: never In the annals of human earthly walk has man been so challenged for this God given right by women than in this 21st century.

By default, gurls know d man is meant to lead but like Jacob, they've been subtly taking this control from man tru various tests n demands .
N just like Esau , man has been failIing unwittingly to this trap.
This is where these DRILLS come in: To open the eyes of guys/old boys to the very essence for which we were born with Balls and stop selling ourseves short because of the high point inbetween a woman's thighs .

sundoj08:
Waiting for ladies to come and derail the thread.

Asking them to stay away is simply Calling em in

Reverse Engineering!

Take a sit son

For Derail , they Sure can't

This is not one of those 10 tips to mounting or 50 ways of wooing !
THIS IS A DRILL!

an illogical DATING DRILL.

Cos just like this thread https://www.nairaland.com/2564661/15-sure-ways-live-happily pointed out, women r illogical n for u to survive n get game in their web, u gas know the ropes of counter logic dealings!

Could u imagine the Op of that thread rightly saying women r illogical yet went ahead n gave logical ways of tackling illogical beings? N he hopes not to be friend zoned? Hahaha

Guys we all @ a point in time or the other have made this mistake, but no Matter How far u go on d wrong lane, u can never get to yur destination .
Also, doing same thing same way n expecting a different result , tantamount to madness. With these drill, u cant settle for less! wife that gurl of ur dream n dont blow it before u even begin

WARNING
1) Stereotypes,. Keep off, Cos we wud end up confusing u off even d little balls u got

2) You r solely reponsible for whatever u do with d drills u about to go tru

3) Analysers, u need not bother to think about some of the crazy reverse engineering drills, just practice them n watch ur game grow, gut flow n confidence blow!


REQUIRED AUDIENCE
1) this is for guys that r tired of not getting that dream gurl no matter their financial status , physical appearance or gift of d gab( ability to flow fluently, n communicate ur head succincently)

2) for all those that have been friendzoned, about to be friendzoned

3) for all those tired of their boring dating lives. Lower cadre Babes gifts ( those I want don't want me, those I want not, drool over me, what can I do but ship them in only @ night, do deeds with lights off , n ship them out 1st tin in d morn........ehmmm, Yes, we feel ur pains too....

4) for the shy guys: can't even look @ girls eye ball to eye ball , If they are lucky enuf, get wooed by d lady, they be using teeth to unhook bra n turn nipple3$ into feeding bottle hose!) dah heck? ok, alright, receive ur healing)

5) for those that Wano step up their games, up their antes

6) for Don Jauns wanting to put names to their inherent skills they know not whence they came

7) for those that Wano know the true MEANING OF HOW TO TREAT A WOMAN RIGHT n understand illogical body languages, speech pattern n WEB of the Wonder world of women

for customer care reps n all who generally Wano always sprinkle some spackle across d dark horizon of a dying world.

Glossary

1) Jrod: Man's main reproductive/fun weapon, his third leg. of different sizes and shapes usually one of the smallest organ in the body but like a rudder on a ship, control the full being stupidly most times

Every thing u wud read in here, is mostly from experience n d master him self D. D. A.( find out)

Any error therein, quote n correct it; English Queen. a man with an elephant load on his neck has no biz chasing English rats!

The only ladies allowed in here r those who truly want their men to be better, just simply point them to this thread n skoot!


So off we shoot!


© DON

Sequel to wack threads such as this https://www.nairaland.com/2564661/15-sure-ways-live-happily and many others, I have decided to take the pain of Schooling the weak minded, friendzoned, balless, gameless, Wussbags out there, some of the ropes u must adorn in d WEB world of women. because itz a web, So many have been blindfolded by its threads, so many entangled, so many suffocating begging for but a single sip of breath, so many deballed, deballed n death is inevitable ( of what use is man without some balls?)

Call me love Don, call me Don Pro, Don Jaun, or whatever nomentature u so suit, don't give no hoot. Can't keep shut no more while men rot in dis web.
Battered n bruised
snuffed of life!
Let it ring to d unborn child
Let it sink into d fresh adam-apple growing dude
To all d players, playing balls or hearts
Wudnt u rather Dine?

For easy navigation n assimilation here are the links to the DRILLS and all the SENSE PILLS

DRILL NUGGET 1: WHY DO GOOD GURLS LIKE BAD GUYS? https://www.nairaland.com/2893475/dating-drills-guys-only#42440289 & https://www.nairaland.com/2893475/dating-drills-guys-only#44815634

1b: Why are nice guys boring and Get friend zoned:
https://www.nairaland.com/2893475/dating-drills-guys-only#44816115

https://www.nairaland.com/2893475/dating-drills-guys-only/1#44884410

https://www.nairaland.com/2893475/dating-drills-guys-only/1#44914163

https://www.nairaland.com/2893475/dating-drills-guys-only/3#45168440

https://www.nairaland.com/2893475/dating-drills-guys-only/3#45185360

DRILL NUGGET 2: HOW TO APPROACH LADIES( THE VERY BEST, YOU GOT TO HAVE STANDARDS NOW),
GET THE NUMBER AND GET OUT( WITHIN 5MINS)

https://www.nairaland.com/2893475/dating-drills-guys-only/1#45035607

2a: Where to meet ladies( forget dating, make friends first) she cant friend zone some1 that friendzoned her from the start

https://www.nairaland.com/2893475/dating-drills-guys-only/1#45037572

2b:Tools needed b4 u go making lady friends https://www.nairaland.com/2893475/dating-drills-guys-only/1#45037055
witty/sassy/funny lines to use when meeting women

2c:Things to avoid when meeting new ladies: https://www.nairaland.com/2893475/dating-drills-guys-only/2#45037970

2d: Examples of Situations of meeting ladies And on da spot lines:

https://www.nairaland.com/2893475/dating-drills-guys-only/2#45038157

https://www.nairaland.com/2893475/dating-drills-guys-only/2#45106315

2e: witty/funny lines in meeting women :

https://www.nairaland.com/2893475/dating-drills-guys-only/4#45185484

https://www.nairaland.com/2893475/dating-drills-guys-only/4#45188107

https://www.nairaland.com/2893475/dating-drills-guys-only/4#45188926

https://www.nairaland.com/2893475/dating-drills-guys-only/4#45228903


2f: When to place that first most important call, for how long and what for:

2g: How to deal with Rejection( Should you be)

DRILL NUGGET 3: SETTING UP THE FIRST OUTING And Subsequent ones.

3a: Where to meet
3b: what not to discuss
3c: Dos and Donts
3D: Always set her hairs on edge( anticipation, spontaneity, suspense)

DRILL NUGGET 4: THE FIRST KISS( EITHER MAKES OR MAR YOU)
4a: Get her into it
4b: tease her: one step forward, two steps back

DRILL NUGGET 5: Never Tell Her U luv Her! https://www.nairaland.com/2893475/dating-drills-guys-only/3#45149142

DRILL NUGGET 6: GURLS DONT CHOOSE WHO THEY FALL IN LUV WITH (CASE study : all d beauties n d beasts in the world over)

DRILL NUGGET 7: Who to Date and Who not to Date

7a: Bad Long Term Investment: No to close neighbors, don't
date anyone related to a close friend, and DON'T DIP YOUR PEN IN THE COMPANY's INK


[size=15pt]Modified[/size]

Here is a thread you should all read guys. hear it from a lady's mouth

https://www.nairaland.com/3061623/dangerous-mistakes-most-guys-make#44910074

Naff24:
If guys can practice all.....am very sure #10 is an abomination for them

This is d reason u gurls friend zone guys! Wussbags ! that don't have minds of their own! Always @ d whips n caprises of some random gurl! Beck n call droids!

InFact ladies, here Is a Lil secret , any guy that does what op just listed above, wants nothing esle but ur body! U rapidly become a statistics


Op, here is a Lil secret : in every r/ship, he/she who cares less, has the controlling power n since u were d one that wooed them, the power was with u. But they quickly Start sending u unnecessary errands to see How u react, use emotional blackmail somethings so u do their bedding, once u fall in line, there goes ur controlling power n ur manhood( Yes Cos just like Esau, u just sold ur birth right!.) Then she begins to manipulate u n even friendzone u, cos u got no balls n woman hate men that cant Stand on their two feet!


Example 1
Yours truly had an ex that wudnt just let go even after Startin another r/ship wit another guy, when he asked y she kept coming back, she said nu guy does everything she wants n it gets boring n she even suspect he is up to something Cos she always win al arguments.....he also always does d calling......


EXAMPLE 2

Younger years, yours truly had this really heated argument with his gurl n she wudnt just shush.....she kept going on n on. She locked d door n wudnt let him just walk out the way he handles such situations.
She was up on his face n wudnt back down, then suddenly, in a Flash, a hawt slap sped across her cheeks n like cold water on a thirty throat, she went numb n started crying. Where did that come from? He wondered!
Gently she lay on bed, comatosed he stood dere, breathess yet relieved.
you wud not imagine what she said when everything became normal: she said SHE ACTUALLY LIKED IT THAT YOURS TRULY SLAPPED HER. THAT SHE CUDNT JUST STOP EVEN WHEN SHE WANTED To... But it was a test still cos he had told her he can never raise his hands on her when they started dating earlier n she has been testing him tru all means untill that day.she concluded he still has balls n luv flowed wantonly from her...... ( this is not to say yours truly advocates women hittin)

KoldKash:
How is it that not a single lady has commented on this?

Cos this ish is totol BULL!

ehmmm, don't Boda adding d CRAP


n dem ladies know it

sophietosyneabou:
op please be my boyfriend..

Ahh, killer squad!
Just as Feb 14th is drawing Close!

sickstars:
Cum nd grow me up

Usually read u @ d background n some of ur post la kul, but that was a one off! Totally whack but my mind tells me u must hv been very hY on ORIgin so I let this slide.




Op, I do feel the tetracore ways tots has been flying tru ur mind n I must confess it ain't easy. But do know that blending n bonding the way u guys have is a rare commodity in d market of relationship.

Clear ur mind, answer this simple Q: do I love her enuf to bare anything that come out of this in the future? If Yes, wify her. Make Sure u take her to ur doctor, let him confirm her story. If true, why not? Whoever wants more than 3 kids now?

If in douth, no matter How hurt it May feel, have d courage to walk on by.
But do know that u might never really find one as her again

Wow! Just imagine crude juice flowing into ur Well and wen Itz full, u turn off the tap then start selling for 3 gud years!

Way to go pastor!

He who keepeth Israel nida sleep nor slumber, as u hv made a decision to pastor right, God is faithful n just, he wud not suffer ur feet to stumble.

May his grace Abound to u.
U r blessed!

Source! Op

Worra posh pose

Dumped Cos of a car? Wow!

I wudnt even Boda buying one so soon, I'd rather do everything to make Sure she watches me on dah new bae's TV riding on latest model fleet, one aint enuf

Suigeneris93:
I'm guilty of 1 tho. Yea sue me! Most guys don't appreciate what they get on a platter so y will I cheapen myself?

I agree with all the other points. Nice one op!

Nah, u shouldn't do n01, it cheapens u. He begins to pull crazy wool n lords it.

Might I ask u a Q though?

How do u guys do it?

Here is a guy that has all the physical attributes u ve been dreaming of in a man, u @ d airport both of u waiting for different flight to different countries, u might never meet again here after, u kept glancing, side eye until they announced his boarding,

He stood up, There u sat, thinking Oh God please let him just mumble anything @ me, he did non of ur listless wishes , just walked gently pass u, and was gone.

U sat there like a lil dock hating urself for not saying Hello.

Must be so frustrating to be a lady.....

The only choice u got are those that CHOOSE u first! Arrrh!

This is nothing but fg trying to create diversion, because they know that If u throw Nigerians a lil bone every Sunday, they wud chew on it unwittingly tru out the week, while they r @ it, u brew another n launch d next Sunday, so long they have something to chew @ , they wud naturally forget all d promises u made while campaigning, they wud forget d state of the country:
The hike in fuel, the dollar doing doggieee on d Naira, they wud forget the power situation and forget FG hasn't achieved anything all along!

She is just running in circles, clueless. Chasing shadows, restless. Her case is that of opportunity meeting a man not prepared, bluntness.


Luckily, she has less than 4 years now..... let her keep running aimless like an headless chicken!

I blame Nigerians though: How can u give a man who wakes up n his only plan is to follow cow aimlessly d reins of 170millz people?

Cholls:
my sister

God please open the floor gates of heaven n let understanding rain on some people

Michellla:
we know all this.

BUT wish we can implement them

oshe11:
we r natural comedians....... So lil ish like dis dnt freak us




dats y komedians frm warri r tight

Hmmmmm, what is d state's motto? Hard comedy, hard face?

If u really tight, spin a web from d original post n crack us up

espn:
Nice jokes..at least it's funnier than aunty princess jokes!

Can u spin any one of them on ur gurl friend let alone ur wify?
Some r really dead cocky

oshe11:
hahhhahahahaahhahhaahahahhahahahahahaha









guy I be waffarian ooooo


dis kinda joke too dry to mk me laff na

Waffarian? Dey don't laugh easily? Did God forsake them?

Glad u did sparkle all dsame

QueenValerie:
The post mentioned no children other than the one the maid is pregnant with.

Where do u start from? Even with no kids yet?

Estharfabian:
She's officially my Role model!

Try it n watch d flowers fade n dry out from ur stale bones!




But ehmmm, If she can do all this while not yet confirmed, she can basically skin him when wedded!

Guy, ruuuuuuuuuuuun! I pray the scale fall off ur eyes!
Imagine having a wife that goes putting razor to ur cloths everytime u have a roll, imagine A woman walking into ur board meeting on flipflop killed with bum short n one of ur singlets, with no bra, demanding ur audience immediately!
Man wud die b4 his time

oshe11:
neva knew dey were meant to mk me laff, until I read d last line.......





9ce kopy n paste tho

Awww, guess u should go tru it over again!

Like from d very 1st one, since d wify refused to get down, he indirectly sort permission, drawing wisdom from d program they were watching, to call a friend( side chick),that got d wify crossed n dah roof came down

vizkiz:
abeg who get matches

cruzita:
what is N1500?a beg if u want better soup give her N10,000. to manage

Then she wud use 1k or 1k5 to buy all the things after much pricing, n pocket d rest!

#apriko I heard dey call it!

Guys If u don't know, here is a lil woman secret: every time she goes to d market, she gets paid from d market money whether u like it or not.
But that shouldn't be ur worry, pray u don't meet n marry d one that wud spend it all on non related things, n still come home with depth u wud live to pay off

Saw this on FB , decided to share here.... hubby with BallsFul of Ouch! ! Lol


My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.
I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have Sex?'
'No,' she answered.
I then said, 'Is that your final answer?'

... She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, 'Yes..'
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

And that's when the fight started...

________________________________


I took my wife to a restaurant.

The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.

"I'll have the rump steak, rare, please."
He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"
"Nah, she can order for herself."

And that's when the fight started.....

_____________________________

My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school
reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.

I asked her, "Do you know him?"
"Yes", she sighed,
"He's my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking
right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since."

"My God!" I said, "Who would think a person could go on
celebrating that long?" Ouch! Mehn!

And then the fight started...

________________________________

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed.
But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat,
making beer.. Always something more important to me.

Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.
When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush.

I said, "When you finish cutting the
grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."

The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.
Lol!
_____________________________

My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, "What's on TV?"
I said, "Dust."

And then the fight started...

________________________________

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the van and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather
would be bad all day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back;
now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."

My loving wife of 5 years replied, "And, can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?"

And that's how the fight started...

_______________________________

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds."

I bought her a bathroom scale. Oh mi gosh!

And then the fight started......

______________________________

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply
for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's License to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.

The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.
So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.

She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.

She said, 'You should have dropped
your pants. You might have gotten disability too.'

Thatz how the fight started...

________________________________

My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.

She was not happy with what she saw and said to me,
"I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you
to pay me a compliment.'

I replied, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."

And then the fight started........

________________________________

I rear-ended a car this morning...the start of a REALLY bad day!

The driver got out of the other car, and he was a DWARF!!
He looked up at me and said 'I am NOT Happy!'
So I said, 'Well, which one ARE you then?'

That's how the fight started.

________________________________

One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot
as a Christmas gift...

The next year, I didn't buy her a gift.
When she asked me why, I replied,
"Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"

And that's how the fight started."

After laughing really hard, dont forget to Add Urs!

QueenValerie:
Good yes because I can't get them back.
And I said I gave him good yrs but not all of them though.
There would be no kids.
And my life would go on.

u really painting this to ur taste.
but here riz the deal, the marriage is blessed with kids already, wt becomes of u n em?

QueenValerie:
Good yes because I can't get them back.
And I said I gave him good yrs but not all of them though.
There would be no kids.
And my life would go on.

u really painting this to ur taste.
but here riz the deal, the marriage is blessed with kids already