₦airaland Forum

Mods, i want to plead with you to move some or even all of ubunjas post to front page from time to time to avoid some of this topics. Its becoming irritating.

For hundreds and maybe even thousands of years,
people have been forced and brainwashed into accepting the opposite in order to frustrate their lives and make it easier for others to control and manipulate them. And this is just one of the areas where this is the case. If you look around you, it should be more than clear that what we’ve been taught about love, and the rules we’ve been told to live by only serve to frustrate our lives, hurt our relationships and make things more difficult for us.

Women are difficult to understand because they’re constantly struggling internally with the conflict between what they have been taught about themselves and their true nature. There was a time when women thought pretty much the same way about sex as men. During that time women had (and still have, although it is suppressed) a comparable sex drive to men, and they were after sex as much as men, if not more. Sexual desire is something we all get born with naturally. It would have made no sense for nature to put a greater need or desire for sex in men compared to women. In fact, if I look at how women are naturally capable of having sex a lot more often than men (they don’t get exhausted as quickly and are able to have multiple orgasms in a very short amount of time), then I would have expected nature to have given women a greater sex drive than men. It would have made sense, seeing as how they’re biologically capable of having it more often than men.Just like we have to eat every day to satisfy our hunger, so too do we have to satisfy our sexual urges/desires. If we don’t eat enough and on time, we become weak and sick.

And in the same way, if we fail to satisfy our sexual desires adequately, we also become sick and it becomes difficult to function as a human being. It’s foolish to think that suppressing and neglecting our sexual needs won’t have an impact on us in the long term. In fact, it can and will lead to issues. And that’s exactly the problem we’re experiencing with women. You just have to look at the work of Dr. Freud where he made the connection between the suppression of sexual desires and psychological issues. Freud went so far as to say that sexual desires are the primary motivating forces of human life. So you can choose to neglect and suppress them if you want to, but not without consequences.
TO BE CONTINUED.

If you want to know more bitter truths about how most of the things about the world is wrong, i advise that you visit karel donk's blog. He has solutions too, but it is quite disturbing at first. Lets expand our knowledge.

Man is born free but everywhere in chains. Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery. Why should anybody tell you whar to do with your life?.

We’re currently living at a time when there are a lot of social changes underway at relatively rapid speeds (compared to the past), due in large part to the Global Brain. Until recently, humankind made a lot of progress when it comes to our scientific and technological development, but we’ve basically remained stagnant when it comes to social developments. Sure, there was some progress over the course of thousands of years, but today we’re essentially still struggling with the same anti-social systems that were forced upon us thousands of years ago. In terms of our social development, we’re still pretty much barbarians, and are just beginning to realize this now, which is what’s causing a worldwide search for new and more sustainable ways of living together. And it’s in this overall process that our relationships are also undergoing major changes.

Before I continue, I want to clarify that when I mention “relationships” in this post, I’ll be focusing more on what we know today as “romantic relationships” which are generally based on attraction or lust between two individuals. However, the basic concepts that I will discuss also apply to all kinds of relationships between individuals, be it friendships, family, business relationships etc.

When it comes to our social development, there’s a transition going on right now towards the natural or universal order. We can also see this happening when it comes to our relationships; these days there’s a trend towards having open relationships (friends with benefits, no strings attached, etc.) instead of the traditional exclusive relationships that we’ve had in the past, such as the exclusive romantic relationships between two people that usually ended up in marriage. Like I discussed in the past in my post on marriage, divorce rates are rising globally, and a constantly growing number of people are choosing to stay single. In addition, we’re seeing that polygamy is also slowly becoming more accepted in society, no doubt because people are beginning to realize that humans are naturally polygamists, and that there’s no sensible reason for why a person would choose to limit themselves by tying themselves exclusively to another person, and suffer all the disadvantages that come with that.

What’s happening is that we’re transitioning from the traditional exclusive relationships — which create artificial scarcity, severely limit every individual in society and make them dependent — towards open and non-exclusive relationships — which create abundance, respect the sovereignty of every individual, and are based on true love. In other words, we’re transitioning towards relationships that are based on a peer to peer (P2P) social networking model, which is the way everything in nature fundamentally works (nature is fundamentally a P2P system).

I’ll try to explain this with some illustrations. First we’ll take a look at traditional exclusive (monogamous) relationships.

Exclusive Relationships

In the illustration above there’s a simplified situation of 13 individuals. Let’s say that these 13 individuals, named A to M, are living inside a small community. As you can see in the illustration, 12 of them are tied in exclusive relationships with each other (indicated by the blue lines). One of the things that’s immediately obvious is that person A is put at a disadvantage, because there’s nobody left to connect with. Person A finds themselves in a situation of artificial scarcity; even though there are potentially 12 other individuals to connect with in the community, due to the artificial social rules that demand exclusivity, person A has little choice but to stay alone.

Artificial scarcity not only affects person A, but also affects all the other 12 individuals in the community. Consider what would happen if person B would want to split up with person H. In that case, person B would also not have a lot of other options to choose from — only person A. And maybe person B isn’t attracted to person A, so B would also have little choice but to stay alone after breaking up. This is why, for example, in our current societies many people often choose to stay in bad relationships; they have little choice (or at least perceive their situation that way), are dependent on a single person, and desperately hold on to what they have. And ironically, as I’ve discussed in the past in my post on marriage and exclusive relationships, it’s precisely the fact that people stay with a partner in an exclusive relationship hoping for it to be long-lasting and stable, that causes their relationship to eventually become problematic and unstable.

This situation of artificial scarcity also causes people to want to compete with each other, which further causes them to develop anti-social and even predatory behavior. You can no doubt imagine that person A might eventually become so desperate that they might try to seduce one or more of the other individuals that are tied in exclusive relationships. Or in case person B and H were also single, then they might have to compete against each other for person A. And in that process, things often get very ugly, as we know from what’s currently going on in reality in our societies around the world. In competing for a partner, people begin to lie and deceive each other, become jealous, and in extreme cases even become violent.

Another very important problem in the above situation is that any breakup or loss of a partner can be potentially devastating for the individuals involved, because each one of them has all their eggs in one basket, so to speak. For example, if person H dies for some reason, then person B may suddenly find themselves alone and with a huge loss. There’s no backup or fallback plan. And that should strike us as very strange, since we’re living in a time right now when we’re constantly trying to build redundancy into many of our systems, especially those that are very important in our daily lives. If we’re building redundancy into our critical information-, energy- and medical systems, then why don’t we have redundancy for the important relationships in our lives — especially our “love life?” Can’t a potential (sudden) loss there not cause equally as much grief to us?

All of the above, and many more reasons that I won’t get into here for the sake of brevity, make this kind of community that’s based on exclusivity a very fragile and dangerous community for its members. It does, however, make an ideal community for those who are seeking to easily control, manipulate and enslave large groups of people — which is exactly why such a social system was forced upon humankind thousands of years ago.

Now let’s consider another kind of community — one that’s not based on exclusivity, but is instead based on the P2P social networking model.

Non-exclusive Relationships

In the above illustration we have the same 13 individuals as before, but now they are all in non-exclusive relationships with one another (indicated by the orange lines). For example, we can see that person A has non-exclusive relationships with J, L, G and H. Person I has non-exclusive relationships with B and G. And in both cases, every one of the other individuals (J, L, G, H and B) has their own non-exclusive relationships with other individuals as well.

What is immediately obvious from this situation is that there’s abundance in this community. Nobody is left behind. Everyone is involved and there’s plenty for everyone’s needs. Whereas person A was forced to stay alone in the previous example where there were only exclusive relationships, in this community person A can still connect with other individuals who might also be interested in doing so — even if they’re already in other non-exclusive relationships! Indeed person A may connect with as many other individuals as they need in their life at any given point in time. And the number of relationships may vary over time depending on person A’s needs and circumstances (self-regulation).

Another advantage that’s also immediately obvious by just looking at the above illustration, is that there’s a lot of redundancy built into this community when it comes to their relationships with each other. Let’s say, for example, that person G dies for some reason, then in that case person A doesn’t suddenly find themselves alone in the world without a partner. Yes, person A will suffer a loss, but this loss will be made a lot more bearable because persons H, J and L will potentially be able to immediately provide a certain level of comfort and support to person A, and (at least temporarily) fill in the gap left behind by person G. The result of this is of course a much higher degree of resilience and stability inside every individual’s life, and consequently, the entire community.

Now consider what would happen when person H consistently behaved badly towards person A. In this case it would be a lot easier for person A to break up with person H, because person A would be able to fall back on their other relationships with G, J and L. At the very least, person A would still be able to rely on receiving love, sex and intimacy from the other 3 individuals after breaking up with H. In addition, because of the non-exclusivity in this community, it’s also potentially easier for person A to start a new relationship with any other individual that’s interested. So person A would be a lot less likely to stay in a bad relationship with anyone because of the abundance and availability of options! This further means that people would quickly stop taking each other for granted, because they would realize that any partner is free to leave at any time and has other options. As a result, people would start valuing and treating their partners better in order to be able to enjoy their company longer.

Another reason why people would value their partners much more in this community, is because having multiple partners makes you appreciate the positive qualities that exist in a specific partner, that others don’t have. It makes you realize and notice their unique qualities more easily, because you know from experience that you cannot find those qualities in the other people you’re also seeing. Having multiple partners also means that it’ll usually take much longer to get bored with each other, which usually happens very fast when two people are in an exclusive relationship with each other. People can spend time away from each other while their needs are still being met by other partners, and then get back together again when they feel the need to see each other. In this way they can also have and enjoy a lot more variety in their lives, because they can have a variety of experiences with as many partners as they need at any given point in time, allowing them to learn and grow in a much more balanced way, which is what life is all about as I explained in my post on The Cycle of Life.

There are no soul mates and perfect partners who can satisfy all of our needs all the time. Instead of tying ourselves exclusively to a single partner and expecting that person to constantly satisfy our every need (which is impossible and causes a lot of problems), we’re supposed to go out and find others who can fill in the gaps. This also gives us the ability to choose to enjoy only the positive qualities of every individual, instead of having to accept the negative qualities along with the positive qualities, as the case is in exclusive relationships. People can come together only to enjoy what they like about each other, without having to deal with, or do, the things they don’t like. For example, person A and G could go dancing together during the weekends, but during the week A and J might spend time together having long and deep conversations — the kind of conversations A could never have with G because G is just not into that type of stuff. If A and G were in an exclusive relationship, then A would expect G to have those kinds of conversations with them and this would lead to problems. But in the above situation based on non-exclusive relationships, A is free to go to J for those conversations and doesn’t have to bother G with that. Similarly, G is free to do with others what they can’t do with A. More freedom, less conflicts, more satisfaction, more happiness.

This is what relationships will look like in the future; they’ll be non-exclusive connections, varying in duration, strength and depth, between strong and highly independent individuals in society.

There’s a lot of redundancy built into nature (the universe is a fractal system — redundancy is built-in), so as we transition our social systems to be more in harmony with nature, we’ll automatically start to benefit from redundancy in our social systems, including our relationships. This means that we can indeed have redundancy in our “love lives,” and like I explained above, there are many advantages that come with that.

If you’re still in doubt about the fact that living in a community based on non-exclusive relationships brings us closer to nature — closer to the universal order — then take a look at the image below of interlinked neurons. It’s absolutely no coincidence that the orange connections in the above illustration of non-exclusive relationships look a lot like the connections between the neurons. You can find these connection patterns everywhere in nature, and that’s because nature is fundamentally a P2P system.

Interlinked Neurons
Interlinked neurons. Source: GE Healthcare

That’s why it’s also absolutely no coincidence that you can see the same pattern in the graph of the Internet in the image below; the Internet is also a P2P system.

Graph of the Internet
A graph of the Internet showing the millions of connections between computers. Source: Opte.org

All relationships, interactions and processes that come naturally and are sustainable follow the above P2P connection patterns — and that includes our love- and sexual relationships.

Like I mentioned in the past, when it comes to love, there’s a lot of artificial scarcity in our societies around the world that’s completely unnecessary. People complain about how difficult it is to find love these days while they fail to realize that it’s their own behavior of demanding exclusivity and restricting people to love that’s making love scarce. We have to stop treating the people we love like our property and we have to start respecting the freedom of each individual. In other words, we have to start to realize and understand what it means to truly love an individual. The more people understand true love, the closer we’ll get to experiencing the relationships of the future, and the closer we’ll get to building a more stable, resilient and sustainable human society on Earth.

META
This entry

Get yourself a babe that likes sex the way you do. It is simple. Those people advising you to fast and pray, dont mind them. Ask yourself if God wanted you to wait till your wedding before sex, why did he give you such powerful urge for sex.

Marriage as we know it today has its roots in slavery. This may come to you as a surprise, especially if you’re heavily influenced by all the brainwash in our current authoritarian societies around the world, that promote marriage as an ideal form of a relationship between a man and a woman. But if people truly realized where the concept of marriage comes from and what its real purpose is, I’m sure that they would be repulsed by it. Especially women are being brainwashed from very early childhood to not only accept the concept of marriage, but to even long for it and regard it as one of the most important goals in their lives for achieving happiness. This is the tragedy of the reality in which we live today, where people are being conditioned not only to accept, but to actually desire their own enslavement. It’s a reality where people willingly accept a way of life that works against them on almost all levels, and that allows a small elite to easily control and exploit them.

Marriage isn’t something that’s natural; it’s an artificial social construct. A very long time ago, there was complete equality between men and women in ancient cultures, and there was no concept of marriage. In fact there are cultures that still exist today where there’s no marriage, such as the Mosuo culture in the Chinese Himalaya. Imagine getting born and living in such a culture where there was no concept of marriage. In such a situation you would grow up and become an adult without having even the slightest notion about having to get married and tying yourself to a single partner for the rest of your life.

However in most societies around the world today, the idea of marriage is literally pumped into our heads by the environment that we grow up in. Especially women get brainwashed with the concept of marriage, which is often also associated with romance and the whole “happily ever after” fairy tale experience. Growing up with that, it becomes difficult for people to determine later whether the desire for marriage is really their own, or if it’s due to the brainwash. People will often mention wanting to get married out of their “own desire” and “free will,” not realizing that it’s the many years of programming that they received from their environment that’s responsible for what appears to be their “own desire.” In this way people are brainwashed into desiring an artificial way of living that will later frustrate their lives and work against them. When that eventually happens they get confused and don’t understand what went wrong; after all, they were living according to the rules approved and prescribed to them by society. And many fail to realize that things didn’t work out precisely because they lived according to the artificial social constructs forced upon them by society — social constructs that go against our true nature, and that are designed not in our best interests, but in the interests of a small elite that wants to rule over us.

You see, marriage was introduced to humankind thousands of years ago by the gods with the purpose of suppressing and repressing our sexuality. 1 It was one of the measures, in a total package of measures, that the gods enforced on humankind in order to frustrate and divide them so that they could be more easily controlled, manipulated and enslaved. 2 If we go back and take a look at the earliest written records that we currently have of human civilization — the ancient Mesopotamian texts — it becomes clear that marriage was very similar to slavery; marriage law looked a lot like property law. This is described in a lot of details in the Code of Hammurabi. You just have to consider the fact that the Akkadian words describing a husband (be-el as-sa-tim) mean “owner of a wife” to realize that, just like a slave, a wife was considered to be a man’s property. A woman had to address her husband with “master” or “lord” just like a slave addresses his master or a subject his king. And to this day there are still cultures where the words used to describe a husband literally mean “owner of a wife.” Consider that in the bible, when god decides to create a woman, he does so to create a “helper” for the man, later adding that “man shall rule over woman.” In the ten commandments, a wife is also listed among the properties of a man (a woman was considered first to be the property of her father, and after marriage her husband). In some verses in the bible the Hebrew words that describe a married woman, or a wife, literally mean “woman with a master.” 3

So a woman became the property of a man upon “marrying” him, and was sold by her father in a way comparable to slavery. The future owner of such a woman would have to pay her father the price he requested for his daughter and a contract was made detailing the terms of the transaction. 4 This is where the traditions we still have today in certain cultures around the world come from, where the parents of the bride are given money and presents in return for their daughter. These traditions are simply the remnants of the original sales transactions of antiquity, where the daughter was sold to her new owner or husband.

It’s important to realize that many of the social constructs that we have today, like the modern family, marriage, and relationships, etc., go back to ancient Mesopotamia. Many of the details have evolved over time, but essentially we’re still stuck with the system of control and enslavement that was enforced upon us by the gods thousands of years ago.

If you can understand the origin and purpose of marriage, and you realize that it was introduced not in the best interests of humans, but instead in the interests of gods who wanted to rule over us, it becomes very easy to understand why marriage frustrates relationships between men and women. As mentioned before, it’s an artificial social construct, one that encourages us to live against our true nature with all the negative consequences that come with that. A lot of pain and suffering can be avoided in society if people aren’t directed to live against their own true nature.

Just think about it; have you ever wondered how a couple that was so much in love with each other at first, can slowly grow to hate each other after getting married? Marriage has nothing to do with love; in fact, love is destroyed by marriage and there’s plenty of evidence for that everywhere in society. As we’ve seen above, in the very beginning marriage was all about the enslavement of women. Women were degraded to mere servants; slaves; property. Where is the love in that? And today this is still the case. Married couples still treat each other as their property, and consequently severely limit each other. If people truly knew what it means to love someone, they would let them be free individuals.

Instead, marriage encourages people to become dependent, and thus to give up their individuality, independence and freedom. And as I’ve explained before, people naturally want to be free, and any relationship that limits people’s freedoms will cause trouble. The desire for freedom is intrinsic to human nature; we are born free individuals. In a relationship where a person’s freedom is being limited, it’s only a matter of time before they start to (often subconsciously) rebel against it. Like psychoanalyst Karen Horney M.D. indicated in the past, people in exclusive relationships eventually start to develop a desire to escape, which results in secret hostility towards their partner. This secret hostility then leads to a secret hate, and this hate continues to develop until it starts to express itself more and more in the relationship. 5 If you truly love someone and want to continue to do so and enjoy their company for as long as possible, you should avoid relationships with them in the traditional sense at all costs — and this includes marriage.

Marriage also limits individual growth and self-actualization — one of our most basic needs as human beings. You can’t grow in a balanced way when you tie yourself to a single person for most of your life, simply because you limit the variety of experiences you can have. You’re also forced to make compromises that go against your true desires, and your individuality suffers. It might seem easy to make compromises in the beginning of a relationship, especially when the feeling of being in love is very strong, but as the relationship progresses eventually it gets more difficult and you’ll start to (subconsciously) rebel against any perceived limitations imposed on you.

Keep in mind that there can never be one person out there that can satisfy all of your needs and desires; there are no soul mates and perfect partners. Instead of limiting yourself to a single person who can satisfy only some of your needs, you’re supposed to go out and find others who can fill in the gaps. Remember that we’re naturally capable of loving more people at the same time and that humans are naturally polygamists. 6

And that’s for good reason, because variety is key to living an enjoyable and interesting life. From the moment we’re born, we’re filled with curiosity and want to explore the world and learn. Children want to touch and taste everything in their environment. They can desperately want and play with one toy for a week, but then get bored and look for a new one. Adults are grown up children. So even as adults we remain curious and continue to seek new experiences all the time. And it may be hard to accept for most people, but yes, we do get bored if we spend too much time with a single person. Even if this person is the kindest, sexiest, most wonderful person on the planet, it’s only a matter of time before you’ll get bored — especially if you’re stuck with them in an exclusive relationship and (have to) spend lots of time with them day in and day out. After a certain amount of time, you’ve basically experienced all there is to experience with a single person and it simply starts to get old and boring; eventually there’s nothing left to be curious about anymore.

Think of it another way; how would you like it if you had to eat bread with peanut butter every day for the rest of your life? You might enjoy it in the beginning, but sooner or later you would probably want to throw up just thinking about bread and peanut butter. It’s the same with music; for example, you might really like a new song in the beginning and play it all day long, but after a while it gets old and you stop listening to it and look for something new to listen to. This is why we have so much variety in nature. And we especially need this variety in our love life. Marriage prevents people from being able to have (sexual) variety in their lives, and eventually things get boring. 7 Research has shown that relationships between couples usually last between 3 to 4 years on average. After that time people start to get bored of each other and the relationship starts to deteriorate. And it can get really dangerous when couples get bored of each other, but for some (often economic) reasons are forced to stay together — especially when their sexual needs aren’t being gratified adequately. Quite often there’s a gradual buildup of hate which can ultimately lead to (extreme) violence. 8

Don’t be fooled by married couples who stay together for long periods of time and appear to be happy. Even way back in the nineteenth century, it was already clear to researchers that happy marriages are extremely rare exceptions to the rule. 9 From my own observations I’ve seen that in many cases married couples pretend to be happy to the outside world, but struggle with all kinds of problems in their marriage. They may even be having regular arguments, may be sleeping in separate beds, may be cheating on their partners, etc. But for social reasons they give everyone else the impression that all is well and that they are very happy together — right up to the moment when you suddenly hear that they’re getting a divorce. This often comes as a shock to their friends and acquaintances, since everything seemed to be going so well. But people then realize that it was all a big show, and find out that things weren’t going well for a long time already. Married couples who pretend that everything is going well are simply fooling everyone, especially the youth, who could otherwise learn from their true experiences, and could themselves avoid making the same mistakes by getting married. Not to mention the damage that is done to children inside such marriages. 10

Very often it’s also the case that married couples feel that they have little choice but to stay together after getting married even if they aren’t in love anymore and would want a divorce. There are many reasons for this, depending on the specific circumstances, but mostly it’s for social and economic reasons. Apart from the social stigma relating to divorce in certain societies, very often people stay in bad marriages because they wouldn’t be able to support themselves financially if they were to live alone. 9 And this is by design; remember, as I’ve discussed above, marriage encourages people to give up their individuality, independence and freedom. This weakens the individual and as a result they become easier to control and manipulate. Men love it when they can do whatever they want, while their wife has to accept everything because she has nowhere else to go. Authoritarian societies love it when people are dependent, weak individuals who can’t stand on their own feet, because then they can easily be manipulated by the state.

All things considered, you can only get married for the wrong reasons. If you’re getting married for no other clear reason than the fact that you’re influenced by society’s brainwash that has programmed you to want to tie yourself to a single partner for the rest of your life, then you’re doing it for the wrong reason. If you’re doing it because you claim to love someone, then you’re also doing it for the wrong reason, simply because true love has nothing to do with ownership of an individual. Ownership of another human being and limiting their freedom, in any way, is wrong. If you’re doing it for economic reasons, then you’re definitely doing it for the wrong reasons. A lot of women these days essentially behave like prostitutes, seeking out the best candidates for trading sex and intimacy with economic gain and stability, preferably through marriage. If you’re getting married for sexual gratification, then boy are you in for a surprise. As discussed in the footnotes below, sex gets extremely boring in marriage until it eventually just stops, 7 and you really do not want to get married to anyone before you’ve experienced them sexually. 11 If you’re getting married because you don’t want to be lonely or are afraid to grow old alone and need someone to take care of you, you’re also doing it for the wrong reasons. You can live alone, but not be lonely. You can connect with many different people from the opposite sex all the time, as much as you need, if you only disregard the stupid rules in society that attempt to limit you. And you really shouldn’t get married to someone just because you’re afraid to grow old alone and wonder who’ll take care of you; it’s not right to treat someone else as some kind of an insurance policy for your old age.

We are heading into a new age right now where the individuality and freedom of every single human being on this planet is going to be valued more and more. We’re in the process of finally breaking free from thousands of years of enslavement through artificial social constructs, that conflicted in every way with our true nature. Right now we can already see these social constructs starting to crumble to the ground, and this includes the institution of marriage. Divorce rates are at an all time high, and the younger generation are increasingly starting to avoid getting married in countries around the world. In the USA, for example, single Americans now make up the majority of the adult population since the government began tracking the data 38 years ago. In Holland and the UK people are less interested in getting married, while divorce rates in Holland and Brazil are at a record high. 12 These are trends that will only continue to pick up speed around the world, especially when the economic reasons for marriage disappear in the sharing economies and resource based economies of the near future. In those new societies everything will be based on sharing and peer to peer models — and that includes our love- and sexual relationships.

We’re currently living at a time when there are a lot of social changes underway at relatively rapid speeds (compared to the past), due in large part to the Global Brain. Until recently, humankind made a lot of progress when it comes to our scientific and technological development, but we’ve basically remained stagnant when it comes to social developments. Sure, there was some progress over the course of thousands of years, but today we’re essentially still struggling with the same anti-social systems that were forced upon us thousands of years ago. In terms of our social development, we’re still pretty much barbarians, and are just beginning to realize this now, which is what’s causing a worldwide search for new and more sustainable ways of living together. And it’s in this overall process that our relationships are also undergoing major changes.

Before I continue, I want to clarify that when I mention “relationships” in this post, I’ll be focusing more on what we know today as “romantic relationships” which are generally based on attraction or lust between two individuals. However, the basic concepts that I will discuss also apply to all kinds of relationships between individuals, be it friendships, family, business relationships etc.

When it comes to our social development, there’s a transition going on right now towards the natural or universal order. We can also see this happening when it comes to our relationships; these days there’s a trend towards having open relationships (friends with benefits, no strings attached, etc.) instead of the traditional exclusive relationships that we’ve had in the past, such as the exclusive romantic relationships between two people that usually ended up in marriage. Like I discussed in the past in my post on marriage, divorce rates are rising globally, and a constantly growing number of people are choosing to stay single. In addition, we’re seeing that polygamy is also slowly becoming more accepted in society, no doubt because people are beginning to realize that humans are naturally polygamists, and that there’s no sensible reason for why a person would choose to limit themselves by tying themselves exclusively to another person, and suffer all the disadvantages that come with that.

What’s happening is that we’re transitioning from the traditional exclusive relationships — which create artificial scarcity, severely limit every individual in society and make them dependent — towards open and non-exclusive relationships — which create abundance, respect the sovereignty of every individual, and are based on true love. In other words, we’re transitioning towards relationships that are based on a peer to peer (P2P) social networking model, which is the way everything in nature fundamentally works (nature is fundamentally a P2P system).

I’ll try to explain this with some illustrations. First we’ll take a look at traditional exclusive (monogamous) relationships.

Exclusive Relationships

In the illustration above there’s a simplified situation of 13 individuals. Let’s say that these 13 individuals, named A to M, are living inside a small community. As you can see in the illustration, 12 of them are tied in exclusive relationships with each other (indicated by the blue lines). One of the things that’s immediately obvious is that person A is put at a disadvantage, because there’s nobody left to connect with. Person A finds themselves in a situation of artificial scarcity; even though there are potentially 12 other individuals to connect with in the community, due to the artificial social rules that demand exclusivity, person A has little choice but to stay alone.

Artificial scarcity not only affects person A, but also affects all the other 12 individuals in the community. Consider what would happen if person B would want to split up with person H. In that case, person B would also not have a lot of other options to choose from — only person A. And maybe person B isn’t attracted to person A, so B would also have little choice but to stay alone after breaking up. This is why, for example, in our current societies many people often choose to stay in bad relationships; they have little choice (or at least perceive their situation that way), are dependent on a single person, and desperately hold on to what they have. And ironically, as I’ve discussed in the past in my post on marriage and exclusive relationships, it’s precisely the fact that people stay with a partner in an exclusive relationship hoping for it to be long-lasting and stable, that causes their relationship to eventually become problematic and unstable.

This situation of artificial scarcity also causes people to want to compete with each other, which further causes them to develop anti-social and even predatory behavior. You can no doubt imagine that person A might eventually become so desperate that they might try to seduce one or more of the other individuals that are tied in exclusive relationships. Or in case person B and H were also single, then they might have to compete against each other for person A. And in that process, things often get very ugly, as we know from what’s currently going on in reality in our societies around the world. In competing for a partner, people begin to lie and deceive each other, become jealous, and in extreme cases even become violent.

Another very important problem in the above situation is that any breakup or loss of a partner can be potentially devastating for the individuals involved, because each one of them has all their eggs in one basket, so to speak. For example, if person H dies for some reason, then person B may suddenly find themselves alone and with a huge loss. There’s no backup or fallback plan. And that should strike us as very strange, since we’re living in a time right now when we’re constantly trying to build redundancy into many of our systems, especially those that are very important in our daily lives. If we’re building redundancy into our critical information-, energy- and medical systems, then why don’t we have redundancy for the important relationships in our lives — especially our “love life?” Can’t a potential (sudden) loss there not cause equally as much grief to us?

All of the above, and many more reasons that I won’t get into here for the sake of brevity, make this kind of community that’s based on exclusivity a very fragile and dangerous community for its members. It does, however, make an ideal community for those who are seeking to easily control, manipulate and enslave large groups of people — which is exactly why such a social system was forced upon humankind thousands of years ago.

Now let’s consider another kind of community — one that’s not based on exclusivity, but is instead based on the P2P social networking model.

Non-exclusive Relationships

In the above illustration we have the same 13 individuals as before, but now they are all in non-exclusive relationships with one another (indicated by the orange lines). For example, we can see that person A has non-exclusive relationships with J, L, G and H. Person I has non-exclusive relationships with B and G. And in both cases, every one of the other individuals (J, L, G, H and B) has their own non-exclusive relationships with other individuals as well.

What is immediately obvious from this situation is that there’s abundance in this community. Nobody is left behind. Everyone is involved and there’s plenty for everyone’s needs. Whereas person A was forced to stay alone in the previous example where there were only exclusive relationships, in this community person A can still connect with other individuals who might also be interested in doing so — even if they’re already in other non-exclusive relationships! Indeed person A may connect with as many other individuals as they need in their life at any given point in time. And the number of relationships may vary over time depending on person A’s needs and circumstances (self-regulation).

Another advantage that’s also immediately obvious by just looking at the above illustration, is that there’s a lot of redundancy built into this community when it comes to their relationships with each other. Let’s say, for example, that person G dies for some reason, then in that case person A doesn’t suddenly find themselves alone in the world without a partner. Yes, person A will suffer a loss, but this loss will be made a lot more bearable because persons H, J and L will potentially be able to immediately provide a certain level of comfort and support to person A, and (at least temporarily) fill in the gap left behind by person G. The result of this is of course a much higher degree of resilience and stability inside every individual’s life, and consequently, the entire community.

Now consider what would happen when person H consistently behaved badly towards person A. In this case it would be a lot easier for person A to break up with person H, because person A would be able to fall back on their other relationships with G, J and L. At the very least, person A would still be able to rely on receiving love, sex and intimacy from the other 3 individuals after breaking up with H. In addition, because of the non-exclusivity in this community, it’s also potentially easier for person A to start a new relationship with any other individual that’s interested. So person A would be a lot less likely to stay in a bad relationship with anyone because of the abundance and availability of options! This further means that people would quickly stop taking each other for granted, because they would realize that any partner is free to leave at any time and has other options. As a result, people would start valuing and treating their partners better in order to be able to enjoy their company longer.

Another reason why people would value their partners much more in this community, is because having multiple partners makes you appreciate the positive qualities that exist in a specific partner, that others don’t have. It makes you realize and notice their unique qualities more easily, because you know from experience that you cannot find those qualities in the other people you’re also seeing. Having multiple partners also means that it’ll usually take much longer to get bored with each other, which usually happens very fast when two people are in an exclusive relationship with each other. People can spend time away from each other while their needs are still being met by other partners, and then get back together again when they feel the need to see each other. In this way they can also have and enjoy a lot more variety in their lives, because they can have a variety of experiences with as many partners as they need at any given point in time, allowing them to learn and grow in a much more balanced way, which is what life is all about as I explained in my post on The Cycle of Life.

There are no soul mates and perfect partners who can satisfy all of our needs all the time. Instead of tying ourselves exclusively to a single partner and expecting that person to constantly satisfy our every need (which is impossible and causes a lot of problems), we’re supposed to go out and find others who can fill in the gaps. This also gives us the ability to choose to enjoy only the positive qualities of every individual, instead of having to accept the negative qualities along with the positive qualities, as the case is in exclusive relationships. People can come together only to enjoy what they like about each other, without having to deal with, or do, the things they don’t like. For example, person A and G could go dancing together during the weekends, but during the week A and J might spend time together having long and deep conversations — the kind of conversations A could never have with G because G is just not into that type of stuff. If A and G were in an exclusive relationship, then A would expect G to have those kinds of conversations with them and this would lead to problems. But in the above situation based on non-exclusive relationships, A is free to go to J for those conversations and doesn’t have to bother G with that. Similarly, G is free to do with others what they can’t do with A. More freedom, less conflicts, more satisfaction, more happiness.

This is what relationships will look like in the future; they’ll be non-exclusive connections, varying in duration, strength and depth, between strong and highly independent individuals in society.

There’s a lot of redundancy built into nature (the universe is a fractal system — redundancy is built-in), so as we transition our social systems to be more in harmony with nature, we’ll automatically start to benefit from redundancy in our social systems, including our relationships. This means that we can indeed have redundancy in our “love lives,” and like I explained above, there are many advantages that come with that.

If you’re still in doubt about the fact that living in a community based on non-exclusive relationships brings us closer to nature — closer to the universal order — then take a look at the image below of interlinked neurons. It’s absolutely no coincidence that the orange connections in the above illustration of non-exclusive relationships look a lot like the connections between the neurons. You can find these connection patterns everywhere in nature, and that’s because nature is fundamentally a P2P system.

Interlinked Neurons
Interlinked neurons. Source: GE Healthcare

That’s why it’s also absolutely no coincidence that you can see the same pattern in the graph of the Internet in the image below; the Internet is also a P2P system.

Graph of the Internet
A graph of the Internet showing the millions of connections between computers. Source: Opte.org

All relationships, interactions and processes that come naturally and are sustainable follow the above P2P connection patterns — and that includes our love- and sexual relationships.

Like I mentioned in the past, when it comes to love, there’s a lot of artificial scarcity in our societies around the world that’s completely unnecessary. People complain about how difficult it is to find love these days while they fail to realize that it’s their own behavior of demanding exclusivity and restricting people to love that’s making love scarce. We have to stop treating the people we love like our property and we have to start respecting the freedom of each individual. In other words, we have to start to realize and understand what it means to truly love an individual. The more people understand true love, the closer we’ll get to experiencing the relationships of the future, and the closer we’ll get to building a more stable, resilient and sustainable human society on Earth.

Credit goes to Karel Donk. Forgive my editing.

He spent more than that buying the ram. Very thoughtless.

I would have dropped some info but google would give you a good answer.

God bless you sir.

Magnoliaa:
They really are that small. Very rare (reason why they often report feeling like they are not part of this world, misunderstood by everyone, and just different from the rest of the people). The percentage varies--sometimes two, or three but never up to five. The ones within the 5-10% range are the Extroverted Types.

They are empaths, highly sensitive, altruistic and are self-sacrificing, believe the best about people--they don't only relate to things but absorb those things (feelings, events etc) as if they were really happening to them. Because of all these, Narcissists get attracted to them. People who can only give, and give and give (and they've got a lot give), neglect themselves, are only aware of others feelings and needs, tries to 'save' them. So, they tend to be very accepting and believing in goodness - a perfect prey for Narcs.

https://amp.businessinsider.com/why-empaths-and-narcissists-are-attracted-to-each-other-2018-1

https://www.yourtango.com/2018314308/toxic-relationship-between-empath-and-narcissist-attraction

This is an assumption. Anybody can fall prey to a narcissist personality at the initial stages of manipulation when you are still trying to understand the situation, but when you eventually arm yourself with the knowledge of who they are, the tide changes and you have power over them by giving them a dose of their own medicine.
Most important thing a human can do for himself in this life is to know how the world works by observing and reading books.

My own concern is about people like eliot roger. If you must go your own way, dont take the lives of other people. More reason why we dont need guns in circulation in this country.

What do we need a ball joggling creative attacking midfielder for. If we had one, he would just be as confused as his name suggests. What we need is a good team. And the team is trying anyway.

You need to have a change of mindset. Think back to the time when you were a child who could mix freely with other kids and ask yourself, what you did then that you are not doing now.

ehemwhy:
The match was an experental one na! Played behind closed doors for that matter , Rohr needed to try some formations ..he played Ndidi and Etebo in defence , Ekong in midfield and all that

I refuse to believe. Fielding players out of position will result in frustration and lethargy and the scoreline would be worse.Just say we met a better team.

Two things might happen. She either kills you or kill herself. Or both.

The comments i have read so far just makes me sad. Many people have an opinion on what they know nothing about. Most of the time on this site, we keep reading about husband killing wife, wife killing husband, girlfriend killing boyfriend and vice versa, and our minds cannot still draw a pattern that there is something wrong with the chemical composition of the brain of such persons.
I keep hearing comments like pray to God, i will use my p***k to reset her brain, the woman that will do this to me has not been born, weak men etc, and i have come to the conclusion that many are not intelligent in this country and many people will still fall victim to such calamities.
The solution is for you as a human being who values his/her life to scrutinize the character and thought process of the people you relate with i.e colleagues at work, friends, family members, customers or girlfriend/ boyfriend. Ask questions that reveal the thought process of the person.
Watch out for personality disorders, because neurotic people are living amongst us only that we dont know how to identify them. Also watch out for perfectionist tendencies. They come in different shades and they are the ones that habour the thought of murder. Some of them here might disagree with me but it is the truth.This one in particular is what i look out for.

Your mother probably has a personality disorder. The most important advise i can give you is to have a positive mindset. Try thinking of all the things that has given you joy in the past so that you can take your mind off what is happening to you.
Surround yourself with good friends who can build up your self esteem and have regard for you as a human being. With time, you will develop a strong personality and when you do,leverage on it to meet more good people to increase the positive energy around you to counter the negative energy your mother is giving you.
Also it is best you learn a skill that is of interest to you so that you can make money for yourself. There is a special kind of feeling that making money brings to you. My advise is practical enough.

My own concern is that we are taking too many attackers to the AFCON.How many of them can play at the same time.

Nobody has given you a concrete answer. They are giving solutions while ignoring the cause of the problem. If you complain of masturbation(excessive) and uncontrollable erections, then it means your sexual libido is extremely high.

You are not the first person that will have this problem, but the most important thing is for you to have control of yourself while at the same time look for a lady who has all the characteristics of a good wife but with a high libido as you( the truth is that there are far more ladies than men with very high libido if you know the signs to look out for).

The most important sign is the prominent cheek bones on the face of women. This is most trusted sign. Others may include hair on her chin( growing beards like that of a guy). Gap tooth sometimes. Mind if i guess that your cheek bones are prominent. I strongly advise that you dont settle for anything less to avoid frustration in future. I attached two pictures one is a man whose cheekbones are visible, while the other is a lady whose cheekbone is also visible but we cant see it clearly because of make up.

I notice something about these european based footballers, many of them are always marrying their long term partners. For example, a player like hazard is married to his partner at 23 or 24 but they met probably when they were still 16 or 17. Why is it so difficult to find such in nigeria.

You made a mistake by starting a relationship with her without knowing if you guys are sexually compatible.And i suggest you quit cos that would be in the best interest of both of you. I want you to read up on HOW FACIAL FEATURES REVEAL D**K/ V****A SIZE.
There is absolutely nothing you can do about the size of your d**k. You have a small mouth and a short nose, that is why you have a small d**k, so start looking for someone with similar facial features.
I must say that i am happy you asked this question because many people dont know this and they might never know it till it becomes a problem for them. But i know it takes courage to break up with someone you have dated for a very long time. I wish you good luck.

One needs to be very careful in Abuja. Don't be in a hurry to enter any vehicle.Scrutinize the faces sitting inside the car, if the faces are looking too strong,ugly or mean, i advice that you look for another vehicle.

NOETHNICITY:
Sad as this may sound, a lot of our women are just putting up with us cos dey got no choice. Make them financially independent and watch them evaporate before ur very eyes

That would be the best. You have your freedom and peace of mind.

The man is in a terrible situation. He came across a woman with a perfectionist attribute. My suggestion might be too radical, but the woman will not stop until she possibly kills him. He should protect his family by getting them a gun.

Trapped by a perfectionist is what it is. You might lose your life or she commits suicide. Its all or nothing. Move quickly.

We need more details on how it is ruining your life so that we can help you. But i think it boils down to biology. You cannot change who you are. Your libido is on the high side. Your urge for sex would be uncontrollable. Accept it, nothing is wrong with you. I know one or two females with similar problems. It means that you need to pair yourself up with them. Pls get back to me, let me see if i am right. By the way, are your cheek bones prominent.

ecstasy357:
Following... I really need to know what the best option is.

I met someone recently that I like but I don't wanna seem like a desperate guy, and I don't wanna appear like a stalker.

Anyway...I've decided to take a step back and hope that she will seek me out. I don't know if this is the best move

. Let me refer you to markmanson.net. Check for the article how to attract women.

Aremolekunowo:
I have a two year old SS, that have really consumed cash not that alone.you will never be happy seeing your child passing through excruciating pains each time of crises.
Am currently separated from my wife because the love cleared away like a morning cloud. A word is enough for the wise.

Learn from this man.

Both are equally matched. It is not about squad sometimes. If it was man city and juventus would have been in the semis. Proper rest is key, tactics and being decisive in front of goal are important. Up barca

Very False. Why we are in this predicament is because we have employed the wrong hands to supervise our institutions. Being a sarz officer is unattractive, reasonable people are looking for something meaningful. The solution is for right thinking people to find a way of working together. Also, they do what they do for survival. Cant we take a look at what other countries are doing and learn.