dodoatirice:
Go and write your own and put forth all the ingredients you highlighted.
I’m just trying to entertain

dodoatirice:
Aunty later found out what i had done the night of the party and I’d say she probably wondered what gave me the audacity to come pick her things while she was half dead. The days that followed, i received series of phone calls or text messages/WhatsApp either threatening me to return her stuff or at other times she’d stylishly swallow her ego and beg me to return her shit. I no send. One Saturday morning like that, my gate guy volunteered yo wash the Camaro at home since I wasn’t going anywhere that day. I had to hang around outside with him. Talk of the devil na do aunty commot body for gate enter compound. She no even greet anybody she just enter main building. I didn’t leave where I was and in what seemed like 30 minutes she came back outside and stood face to face with me. She said she didn’t come to cap anything, she just wanted her travel documents and the other things i handpicked in her room that day. Aunty even dey warn me say make i no provoke am say na me go suffer am. I still calm am down, i told her i picked those things because I cared about her and because I saw the state that she was in and for security purposes. Then i asked her not to worry that i would hand her stuffs to her the next day.

Sunday, I drive to Baba’s coven and told baba about Shade’s half sister. Baba made his findings and then told me the lady had a very bright future, and if i acted fast and brought her to him, he’d extract all the good fortune she had and transfer it to me. Intold Baba that the girl was in school and would only come back to Lagos at the end of the year. Baba was having none of it.. he went into his inner chamber for a brief, reappeared brought out a very tiny horn and asked me to call the banny and use the tip of my tougue to touch the horn and command her to come to lagos. I did as he instructed and omo e work o she no even follow me drag babe enter Lagos that same night. And as soon as baba saw her.. he said kaboor omo awo!
Baba began his back and forth of rites on the Banny, First he touched her with something that made her zombie like, then he went ahead and asked me to UnCloth her. I did and the incantations went on for close to an hour before baba then left the room asking me to have sex with the Banny. That night, i deflowered Aunty’s half sister.

I used the white handkerchief Baba left somewhere in the room to wipe the slime and the blood off Tayo’s pooousay and did the same to my john Thomas as baba instructed, Baba collected the blood stained material and asked me to clean the Banny up and dress her up. (All that while she was still in that zoned out state of spiritualism). I even wore her clothes for her and Baba instructed me to take her to an hotel. and that by the time she wakes up in the morning she wouldn’t remember anything if at all. I hit the road, I didn’t drive for long na so i jam federal Sars o.

Bukolaberry:
please treat aunty Bleep up and make it loud and long.

dodoatirice:


She never know wetin wan sup

dodoatirice:
I came back from visiting my family and extended family alike, they’d made burial arrangements and bros na person wey die loose oo. When i got to the family house, they couldn’t prosecute me. As soon as i arrived, lots of things were said and people said they were sure i was a ritualist and had used my mom. They then asked me to explain the source of my sudden found wealth. They came to a decision and decided to banish me until i could explain what happened to my mum and my source of income. I told them I didn’t know what happened and that i should be allowed to bury my Ma in peace. They said i had no business with that as they’ve decided that they would all have nothing to do with me until i was ready to speak the truth about what i used ma for and how i got all the money i threw around. They were throwing all the allegations around and it didn’t sit with me as i was already a broken guy. I knew everything that happened but many things would rather be left unsaid. The family members in the meeting kept on discussing. I rose and headed for the door.. the Olori Ebi in our family barked orders for me to come back that i was being disrespectful. I stopped at the door faced him and told him to mind his damned buisness or I’d beat the shit out of him if he didn’t call him and his comrades to order. I told them i accepted the fact that they’ve disowned me and I’d live with it. (Truth was at that point, Mama’s death broke me. So the special something that the gods wanted was my Ma. So I didn’t give a Bleep about what would come next.

I left the meeting, got back home and was going to head upstairs when my computer beeped. Whatever it was could wait, then it beeped again. My Auusie client paid me money I didn’t ask him. I kid you not, it was huge. Bitcoin as usual. I was still awe strucked when Baba rang my phone and said congratulations, i had paid my price in full and free from the shackles of Shade. He said i could go about my life as normally as i was living it before and shade wasn’t needed anymore. (But damn, that came at a cost of loosing my precious ma). I asked Baba if Shade was free from her own bondage and baba made it clear that she would remain with her own curse for life. He further stated that the table had turned, it was Shade who needed me now and not the other way round. I said thank you to Baba and ask him not to divulge anything to Shade as i had a lesson I’d love to teach a bitch. Baba told me to be careful and his called dropped. What i wanted to do with Shade i still didn’t know but i knew I’d come up with something. A week after, i checked whatsapp and Aunty had arrived back in Nigeria her whatsapp status confirmed. I didn’t fuss or leave a comment. I just viewed the said status and passed. Then the same day on her whatsapp status, she posted with one dude, that one too was forming lover boy. If only bitch knew.
The night that followed, i drove my Camaro to the club in the company of Babes. I made it loud that night. The old life i was deprived off by Shade, i went back to it. Bought drinks in caskets, racked up receipts that indicated in millions and the hype man almost shitting his pants and throwing subtle shades to other ballers. Why hype-man no go shout (personally i gave him 100k), i spent almost ten million that night and the events of the night before appeared on people’s status in the morning and aunty saw it then slid into my dm!

dodoatirice:
I made trips to Baba’s coven as i always did. Sometimes i went with Shade, at other times i went alone. I started being aware of myself, i was looking out for Shade too, the money pouring in. But the crazy catch was that, Shade could date or fvck someone else, but no matter what she did she won’t get pregnant, as for me, if i bleeped someone else, doom, the only person i could fvck or get married to was Shade She knew this and that alone fvucked me up real Bad. One funny thing that marked the start of my woes was when i found a guy in her Magodo apartment, dude sat on the sofa like it was his birthright and to crown it all asked me who i was really? It didn’t take ling, auntie appeared with a bottle of vodka and found me standing and engaging the guy. Aunty seemingly told the nigga to go inside while she discussed with me. I was furious even though i tried my best to reman calm. Aunty said i had no right over her, her life or who she choose to be with, i reminded her of the baba thing and she reminded me it was me who needed her and not the other way round. Aunty told me to get out of her apartment. I got in my car, what just happened, i ignited the car and soon enough i was on the road again. I approached her estate gate when my phone rang, it was aunty, i picked and she barked into the phone on the other end that she and that stupid dude were hungry and that my coming was timely and that i should help her to arrange rice and chicken from Kfc (i could hear the Dog making special orders at the background) and that they’re waiting so i should hurry. Ehn ehn so na me Shade wan dey do like this.

At first i hissed right after she ended the call and then i was going my way when I thought, 3 million I got from sleeping in a coffin and and a dude is feeling fly in it? Why not, you guys will eat rice and Chicken. I then drove to a KFC bought food, put the plastic bags away in my car and headed for Aunty’s apartment. I parked my car outside where she lived and not inside it as i always did, grabbed the plastic bags that contained the fanciful packed food, place everything in one hand and then grabbed a golf stick i kept in the trunk of my car and headed inside. This time they were in the sitting room, and the stench in the sitting room suggested they just did it. Before i came in, i already put the golf stick by the door outside, i dropped the food on the table, headed back outside like i was gonna get something else. (All these while, they didn’t even acknowledge my presence. I opened the door slightly grabbed the weapon and was back inside. I bolted the door behind us and then first i smashed the curved led Tv that sat elegantly on the tv shelf so the nigga go know say I seriously then i made for where they sat dumbfounded. I got closer, the dude already got the message and knew i was coming for him, Shade was frantic but i no send am. He made an attempt to get up from the sofa in a bid to defend himself too late. I gave him a chest kick that made him fall back on the sofa making him and the sofa fall to the other side, he quickly recovered and was scrambling to get up. The first swing was meant for his knees but he wasn’t still and i missed. He made for the kitchen and the second swing hit his arm and it dislocated a joint. That scream was a sweetcry but I wasn’t done. He was on the floor and one more swing hit his knee as I planned it and guy screamed till he passed out.

kayo80:
Chapter 7: Joy Drops a Bombshell

Joy came over a couple of more times after her impromptu visit; mostly on her own volition. And then, all of a sudden, she stopped. I didn’t know if it was something I did, or something I didn’t do, but the more I tried to make her visit me, the more she pulled away. Then one day, she dropped a bombshell. She told me she had met someone.

Apparently, one of the girl’s that had approached her wanting a friendship had a brother she wanted to hook Joy up with. As she told me about how much she liked the guy, I was dumbfounded, but I kept responding on autopilot with monotonous answers; my mind had traveled far. I was confused. I had never been good with this relationship thing, but I thought there was something between us. Yes, I never asked her out, but I believed the passionate times we had spent together meant something, and I felt we had an unspoken understanding that there was something between us.

Even though I had been in a couple of friends with benefits relationships before I met Joy, I never got too romantic with any one of them. I sure didn’t spend hours kissing none of them passionately.

When she told me the guy asked her out, and she said yes, my mind came back to reality. I was still with Joy three weeks ago, kissing, and making out, and now she has a boyfriend. I was really confused, and couldn’t hold back how I felt any longer, so I asked her what we had been doing all this while, and what we were. She didn’t type for a while, and when she responded she said she believed we were just friends, and that she didn’t see me that way. Now I was even more confused, and I didn’t have any words to express myself. Then she went on to say she wasn’t physically or sexually attracted to me, and that I wasn’t really her type of guy.

My heart shattered into a million pieces. The white light in my room was on, but it felt like I was sitting in a dark cave. I didn’t respond, and the app showed she was typing; she stopped, and continued many times, like she was looking for the right words to express herself. After about five minutes, I sent her a message, letting her know I understood her. I proceeded to ask her to tell me more about the guy. She seemed so excited talking about the guy, and it was almost like she was chatting with one of her girlfriends. It made me feel less than a man. Was she just using me to kill time all along? I thought to myself. Even if that was the case, then she must at least like something about me for her to have visited me at home multiple times. I thought to myself.

When we ended the chat that night, I made up my mind to play along and not show her how hurt I was. I felt it was the best thing for my sanity at this point. I went to bed sad that night.

……….

The days that followed had me more focused on making my life better. I worked more on my online publishing business, and instead of chatting with Joy when I was bored, I spent time in my backyard, watching my chickens interact. Once in a while, I would chat with her briefly, so that it didn’t seem like I was hurt that she now had a boyfriend. One day, she sent me a message asking what was up with me. I asked her what exactly she meant, and she said it felt like I was pulling away from her. I lied to her that I had some family issues taking up my time, but that I would be freer in the next couple of days.

I was still confused. It was obvious she liked being with me, and chatting with me; I would assume that meant she had feelings for me. I made up my mind to talk to a friend of mine that was more experienced than I was in relationship matters.

After explaining everything to my friend on Whatsapp, he said to me, ‘Sam, the girl likes you, but she has some desires to fulfill that you can’t help her with, so she’s exploring right now.’ It kind of made sense to me; I just found it hard to understand how she could compartmentalize her feelings so well.

I chatted with her more the days that followed, but made sure our conversations never went beyond music, movies, and the state of the country. I never discussed anything too intimate with her, and I never persuaded her to come and visit me again. It was hard to do, because, on lonely nights, my mind would wonder off to her. And even though I knew she now had a boyfriend, I would still feel there was a chance for me.

The more I chatted with her, the more I found out that, apart from being lovers, we were actually good friends. We would make each other laugh without even trying, and we shared the same views on so many topics.

Each time I thought I was over her, she would update her status with a simple picture of herself, and my heart would start longing for her again. I contemplated getting into a serious relationship to forget about her, but I wanted to wait a while and see how things go.

One day, I came back from a landlords meeting in my neighborhood and saw 6 missed calls on my phone. I had left the phone to charge as power was restored just as I was leaving for the meeting, and my phone battery was low. When I checked who had called me, I saw it was Joy. I turned on my internet, and a couple of Whatsapp messages came in from her. I responded to her greeting, and it indicated that she had read it immediately. Then she said she has something she wants to discuss with me. I asked her what’s up, and as I saw the indication that she was typing, my mind wondered off, thinking what it could be.

When her message finally came in, I stared at the four words in shock.

Rosemary33:
I am still dropping snippets of Paradise on this space https://www.nairaland.com/6773674/paradise-twin-bliss-resort-comedy#106211525

Chapter 2 has been posted this morning. Do well to check it out.

Thank you all, so much