₦airaland Forum

edunaragold:
After marriage a lot of people do expect thing to just be fine,they don't know, both couples have,another life challenges ahead of them, while some couples overcame their challenges another couples are planing to break up finally.

Since I discovered I married an Igbo Lady, and after one kid,I later learn were my mistake came from, my only mistake was that I did not set in mind another financial side were my wife would generate incomes, but am working on 3 ways i can generate petty petty income before my salary enters,no perfect marriage, but its how you use endurance to achieved the well beings of the marriage .a lot of times its after marriage that people realized their mistake despite all the marriage plans before the marriage.

When my wife started given me that attitude and excuses of am tired, leave me alone, pls stop, etc when I make advance at her, I tried to find out what is wrong, I called her attention to it politely, she told me that I was irritating her, so I quickly discovered an idle mind is the devils work shop, I tried my best in enrolling her in a catering school, she still continued in refusing me. I would pretend as if am forcing to rap her, but jokingly, she would scream rape!!! Playfully so I would stop.

Sometimes when I come back from work late or spend few times around while in the area, she would think I went to cheat, my wife is somebody that assumes especially when she saw u talking to any woman or greet, she would conclude in her heart that you guys may be dating.

After disturbing me that she wants to relocate to her own state so her business can flourish ,I called her mom to see if they can agree to it which she did, and after much advice from elderly men and woman I later came to my own finally conclusion after doing my + and - because not every advice one takes when seeking for advise ,I gave her some money to go spent time with her mom and what ever she decide she should let me know, I will be sending her some cash every months and the baby till she comes back to her senses.,they are now in the east and I stay in another state alone.

Na who sex help, another 3 ladies are disturbing to come visit me, but I decline them,I no wan cast my beloved marriage but soon i will answer them not now, especially now that am rushing and focusing to complete my house and put some tenant but all works and no play males jack a dull boy.

Now am more relaxed, marriage no b small thing o,its not a do or die affair ,don't kill your self for those you can't pls. A lot of woman change after having kids.

Since my wife left our conversion on phone is even better than when we stayed together. Sometimes you need to give a wife the opportunity to refresh them self as no woman wants to be tied own. Marriages get broken due to lack of refreshment, give your problem wife sense of refreshment, or let them miss you so they can know what they have.

Honestly, your wife has probably met a new guy on social media or somewhere else and she obviously wants to cheat on you. It is also possible that she is being deceived by her ex. It appears you cannot help but allow her taste. Once she is done fking she would come back to her senses especially if she is not financially compensated adequately.

NB: Some women lose interest temporarily in a new marriage especially when money is not there as expected. Everything around the husbands will irittate them.

tyup:
Yeah

Nawaoo! Must you contribute in a topic you obviously have no idea? What are you trying to prove?

Noah9:
Good morning nairalanders. Pls I'll go straight to point.

My wife and I have been married for 3 years, God has blessed our matrimony with a beautiful daughter. My wife is so decent, caring and beautiful inside out. I have been a great husband and father to my pretty daughter. I have never cheated on my wife since we got married.

Recently, she barely give me sex. Infact it would take a whole month before I could see Just the color of her undies and I wasn't happy about it.

Last week Wednesday, I committed an unspeakable abuse, I'm so ashamed of myself. I Raped my wife and I hate myself since that incident.

Honestly, I don't know what came over me that particular day, I tried to make advances towards her, she refused and she pushed my hand away. Out of anger I slapped her on her face (she bled from her mouth), I overpowered her and forcefully had my way through. She cried all through that night.

I regretted my actions, I feel remorse, I hate my Life . I have begged her seriously to forgive me but she haven't said a word to me for over 5 days now. She cook for just herself and my daughter, she no longer sleep in our matrimonial bed, she would rather sleep in my daughter's room or the visitor's room, she no longer greets me anymore.

I have never abused, beat or raised my hands on my wife or any woman before. Last week was my first time I did such an abominable act in my Life . What If any one notice we're having issues now, how will I explain to them what actually happened?

I don't even want my little daughter to know we're having issues. I don't know who to talk to. It's a faceless forum that's why I'm sharing my pain here . Pls how do I restore back happiness in my home, I need my wife to forgive me. I'm truly sorry from the depth of my heart and I promise it will never happen again.

Please Help Me.

You should have sought for advice rather than forcefully having your way on her against her willingness/readiness. Have you made effort to find out why she was denying you sex? It could be that she was raped in the past by someone she trusted and she is still battling the trauma. Now, you have complicated it by repeating same scenario.

You have scored an own goal and this will forever live in her memory. Even if she forgives you she may always see you as a rapist each time you make love to her and that means she will not enjoy it as expected.

To those who are being denied sex by their married partners, please investigate what could be the issue and make effort to resolve it or understand with him/her. If it is not a case of cheating resulting to what I can refer to as switch of feeling, just be calm and also pretend as if you too do not want, that will strengthen the feeling for each other and you can always come back together as fresh lovers to do the needful.

My advice.
Buy her some things you know she likes. If she accepts, wait till some hours later, seat her down and beg her for forgiveness. Do not ask why she is denying you sex at that moment. Try to also lock up after that and start acting caring and strange at the same time. Talk less and be good. She may open up to you on her own.

Finally, do you actually win bread for the family? Some women are allergic to poverty and it turns them off seriously.

Jixer:
how do I go about it sir?

I will send you a link.

guobe:
I don't really know where this country is heading to,just yesterday I bought a tin of peak milk and milo for 4700 naira, small can for that matter. I can't figure out how the less privileged are surviving in this country. God help us.

I do not mean harm but trust me you have been made a less privileged citizen by this regime. There is nothing you need to figure out again than how you are feeling right now.
Thank God you did not say God help them.
Did you hear Obi Cubana complain? Not even some people that bought the same milk and chocolate worth N18,500 this yesterday did.

Double your hustle so that no matter how bad the economy is, you will not know.

Himtulie247:
I am not understanding ?
They are the owners of the Hotel , how come they don't know about the CCTV ?
How come they did not Remove the CCTV camera and all the CCTV components

The death that will befall a puppy will not allow it to perceive the smell of the feces.

Joylove2324:
https://dailytrust.com/real-reason-buhari-didnt-disclose-his-candidate-for-2023-osinbajos-promoters

President Buhari, while responding to a question about who his preferred candidate was, said, “It is a secret.”

He said, “No, I wouldn’t say because he may be eliminated if I mention him. I better keep it.”

Asked if he was interested in who eventually succeeds him, the President said, “No. Let him come, whoever it is.”

Can we take this extract to a Logic class? I want to check something.

He wishes that the Igbos contribute money for him or his church as they did for Cubana not knowing that even the one given to Cubana was a hustle that will pay one day while the one given to him goes to designers' and gullible girls' bank accounts.
End time pastor.

bigpicture001:
My girlfriend whom I have planned to settle down with simply started acting cold and eventually stylishly slide out of our relationship because I sat her down and made a family financial support proposal to her in which she will be financially committed to running the proposed family we intend to raise...

These are the proposal...

1. She earns about 80k wile I earn about 300k.. I asked that we jointly contribute for all the children's Career funding starting from when we get married even before any of their birth.. I proposed 10k monthly from her and 40k from me to a trust account. From it we plan to fund all the children's Career from kiddagatten to varsity or which ever path they choose..

2. That sh choose between Nepa bill or DStv or gotv sub monthly..just one for her

3. I will be responsible for rents

4. We pay into another joint account for vacation once in two years..like sh puts in 20k I put in 50k monthly..

5. I provide all the heavy food stuffs required in the house in large quantities including gas ND change of electronics, but sh provide all the daily food supplements to mk mine complete.

6. She buys her clothes ND I buy mine but we can both surprise ourselfs with gift to the other..

7. I will buy the family car ND maintain it. If she buys no p.

8. I didn't rule out surprise gifts once a while and outting which I bankroll ND expect her to do same occasionally..

Plz oo nairalanders are these responsibilities to a wife too much for her, I mean one who works and earn over 50k...?

Different people perceive marriage differently. Top priority for some people in marriage is business partnership. Some love and many others children, companionship or s3x. What works for one may not work for another. It is good you defined how you want it. It is not a bad idea. You will see who will like that idea and may even go further to suggest some others you forgot to include.

I thought Lukaku was smart.

Mancrossfire:
Sometimes God uses yansh I mean fresh yansh win souls to himself...that's was how my father became a Christian through my mum's freshness

The OP may end up changing church just to feed his eyes and flesh to satisfaction.

Ocholu:
...what'sup with Nigeria celebrities wearing heavy sunshades even in places wear the really need their bear eyes to see

Nawaooo. It is well.

kinibigdeal:
What do you think?

That applicant has all what the company is looking for but obviously they knew they wouldn't afford him at that moment. He showed more class and seriousness than the hiring manager and the team. Some serious managers will prefer his type but would drill him more to determine his readiness and commitment.

Jixer:
how much to move to Finland boss?

You need to have like 8M.

Rinoxy:
A friend married his wife as a virgin and has remained faithful to her. He suspected her of infidelity and confronted her, to his surprise she said 'yes I slept with another man since you can't satisfy me'. Imagine the audacity!!!!

Note that this man has tried all he could to be better but she never cooperated with him. She's not remorseful and has been more disrespectful to him since the incident. Mature advice please as his sanity is paramount at the moment.

Well, have we really thought that the inability to give a woman sxxual satisfaction in marriage is frustrating?
As for a man, it is very easy to be satisfied but that is not same with a woman. There are women who never experienced orgasms during love making with their husbands yet their husbands are going about as if all are well.
Such men should try at least once in a while to make their women cum. Haba!
Some if us that married virgins are guiding it jealously with constant satisfactions and we have no reason to border about their infidelity.

ahmedaturboy:
The problem here is i can't control my feelings for her anymore and given the environment where i work am scared of being set up cos my work place is a devil's kingdom...

Advice on what to do pls

Who are we to advise workers in the devil's kingdom?

Jixer:
Please which nice country i can japa go with 8m legally? I’m 28yrs with just waec.

Move to Finland for a study. You will look for me within 4 years to appreciate me.

enonche85:
And the wife?, She deserves a medal too I guess?.

That I didn't talk about the wife or her faults does not make my observations untrue.

You can make your own observations.

The man and anyone who sides him on this are senseless.

jaksmillioniar:
hello room.

I have a problem and it is paining me. I am a matured guy who know what it feels like to be single and maried .

Most People mock me, but I got married.

We had a baby last year, a corona baby.

I am not ashamed to say that at my age, I am still a mummy's boy and she is my number one but I respect my wife.

When I wanted to marry, my wife Never agreed to having a house close to my mum's place.

I felt very bad but I want to make her happy so we moved far. My mom was angry as she knew my wife forced me.

When my wife delivered, her mum came for omugo instead of my mum, and that made her so sad, that she cried and ask if i am a bastard to let them steal her right.

I begged her. She came for naming and left the same day I noticed way my wife was acting rude too because her mum was pushing her.

I told my wife that mum is angry, let us visit her buy her a gift because her place is now far.

She kept saying that her body is not strong for 5 months after delivery and I thought she took me and my family as fools.

I got angry and slapped her twice. When she saw that I was really angry she begged me.

So we went and saw her we are all happy and settled all.

As my child reached 10 month, I told her to tell her mum to go because she's now strong almost to walk.

Her mum left but my mum wanted to come and spend the holiday as she had never done that since she delivered .

When I told my wife, her facial expression changed. When my mum came i travelled but she didnt cook for her but heat soup that was in the freezer to give her.

My mum hated that and she called me crying that what she did to her she won't do to her own mum .

I pretended nothing happened as I got back I bought things from a eatry for family so my mum left after 2 weeks.

I brought up the issue and she said nothing wrong in giving her food kept in the freezer that she gave same to her mum too .

I got angry and beat her up. I didnt injure her. all and some other thing . I love my wife I cant be beating her all the time she promise to change yet nothing. Because of bad character I refuse to take her to eatry.

she denied me sex until I slap sense into her.

marriage has challenges it is s not easy.

I just have this feeling that this is a fiction with sole intent of gathering traffic otherwise I would say that the Op is truly a senseless human being.

Which one is this "beat..., mum's boy..., my mum..., this...., that..."?

You are supposed to be in kindergarten. That is where your sense mates are!

Nonsense!

Op
No lender will give you loan if they know you are like this, not even a friend. I'm sure that even when they have cleared your balance it is still not enough to clear your debts with them.

Useless hypocrites!

If it were a southerner that is the president, he would have reminded him that he was a military man. They were all boiling and threatening hell during GEJ. Little did they know that the hell would come during the reign of their own brother. Today, they are all talking like chicken. Imagine how none of them cannot say that PMB is weak or clueless rather they are busy shopping for non state actors to blame for their self inflicted injuries.

sthar:
My husband and I have not had the best relationship. The past two years has been really tough for us, we've had to struggle to make this marriage work. Although we have two kids, My husband talks down on me all the time.

He calls me an ordinary female, a useless creation and believes he owns me. He believes women should not have a freewill and are properties to their husbands. He calls himself my Alpha and omega. I sometimes wish he would hit Me rather than say all sorts to me.
Last week he started as usual. He called me names and Went on to talk about how he would teach me a lesson someday. I really don't know what came over me. I slapped him.

I s.wear it wasn't intentional, I didn't mean to hit him. I thought he would hit me back but he did not. It's been a whole week and he acts like nothing happened. He goes about playing with the kids , he greets me and makes sure we have food to eat too , but it is so unlike him.


My husband always reports to my parents. He tells them everything I do wrong and they always end up calling a meeting. But this time he's silent , he doesn't want sex too which Is so unlike him. I don't know what to do , I feel like he's planning to hurt me really big. I want to call my parents but everyone would blame me. How do I tell the world I slapped my husband?

Assuming you just told us nothing but the truth, I will tell you without mincing words that you are the one that is more troublesome. You did not tell us what you usually do that makes him call you names.
Luckily, despite name calling, he has never hit you but today, you just did.
Well, the heart of a man they say is wicked. Even the bible said it. What I know of a man is that you will one day pay for this. How you will pay is what I don't know.

MTN has already gone to raise money from the public offer of their shares.

Most companies are owned by the public while only a few privileged ones benefit immensely from the profits.

It appears that those who have certificate issues easily join politics

NovesaTillie:
I moved to this city because of my new job and my neighbors have been very homely and helpful to me especially the ones next flat,a young man and his wife with a kid . They have been very kind to me, sometimes when I get home late from work his wife calls me to join them for dinner and hangouts.

My issue now is I am beginning to grow fond of the man because of how gentlemanly he treats his wife and how dotting he is of their son. He ticks all the qualities that I dream of and sometimes I just feel like inviting him over to my place when his wife is out to tempt him a little.

What can I do to stop this feeling?
I don't want someone else man or to destroy a cute family.

Please don't insult me because I am in a relationship though it's a young relationship and I cherish my man I just see myself falling for this neighbor.

For the fact that you are a neighbour, it is very dangerous. If you tempt the man he will likely fall and no matter how you may try to hide it, you will be caught one day. Then, you will wish to reverse the hand of clock.

SuperStriker:
Good day everyone.
I don't want to cheat on my wife but she cannot cope with my demands for sex. She even told me to control myself and be more spiritual and I am wondering. If I am not controlling myself, I would have cheated on her long ago. I am a fine looking man with many opportunities to cheat. We only have sex when she's ready and wants it, anything outside that is excuse upon excuse. How can a woman I married be telling me to control myself?

Though, you have not told us how often you demand for sex and also how old is your marriage.

However, I believe that many responsible looking husbands cheat but because they are not caught by their partners they will appear or claim they don't cheat.

I also believe that any husband who is not cheating has not had a good opportunity to cheat without being caught.

If you are not served well, look for where you can be served well and reduce "pressure" on your wife. She will return the pressure.

officialmario:
A 300level student of Federal College of Education (name withheld) was expelled after Confessing to the school management of using a fake olevel result.

It all happened that members of the Deeper Life Bible Church student fellowship had preached to her to change from her old ways and she accepted to give her life, she decided to confess all her sins to the college provost who happens to be a deeper life campus fellowship director.

After about two weeks, she was summoned to the Disciplinary committee to come and face panel, She was found guilty and was expelled from the college, and her picture was pasted ot the entrance of the school gate.

I felt bad after hearing her story.
What if she had not confess all her sins to the man? That means she could have graduated successfuly without any hindrance.
What's your say and opinion on this?

She simply passed the heavy burden to the director who unfortunately could not harbour it hence his decision to push the burden away from himself. Well, I would say she was carried away by the "anointing".
I hope the man would follow it up with a prosecution to conclude the matter properly.

Maryliola:
Hey guys

I’m making this post because I don’t want to be judged and I can’t turn my on people in my real life because they may not understand. Well I’ve been married for 2 plus years I’m 27 with a son. I’m going to get personal so embrace yourself.

Myself and my husband have a good relationship, almost too good because I literally see him like my brother. This is to the point where our romantic/lover side of our relationship is kinda dead. I see him naked, it’s like looking at my brother naked. I don’t feel turned on, or excited. We talk and gist like friends, but romantically things are flat. Our sex life is mediocre I guess. He doesn’t do oralll sexxx and he ejaculates very fast. I’m talking 10 seconds, and it’s every single time despite taking different preventative measures. I know that I’m extremely clean as I’m very observant of myself and he also tells me all the time. Yet orall sexxx is disgusting to him and “dehumanising”. There’s no passion when we kiss, its forced most times.


Lately I’ve been finding myself fantasising about being touched by a man , almost every night . A man that will give me orall sexx a man that will turn me on and blow me away. I don’t want to be judged here, but this is genuinely how I’ve been feeling. I don’t want to put pressure on my husband as he has other things to worry about.
A man that will kiss me in all the right places and make me feel like a woman. Sometimes I believe I’m being delusional, or unrealistic. I’m trying to get rid of these thoughts, but I really don’t know how. I have never cheated on my husband and I don’t think I have the guts to do it. I really just want to know how married people cope when that spark is gone. When you begin to look at your spouse like a brother or sister, and romantically the vibes are not there.

Let me also say that I’ve addressed this to him many times, but he stands he’s not willing to compromise.

Help!

Mods, I need this on front page as I need help for people to see this.

I believe your story to be real. You may be surprise to know that many marriages are in this category nowadays.

I was telling my wife the other day that there are many married women who are not experiencing orgasm with their hubbies but she was surprised to hear that. She believed that every woman is satisfied just as the man does each time they meet.

Well, let me give you workabke solutions.

1. Your hubby should engage in small exercises daily.
2. He should eat more of fruits in places of square meals.
3. He should desist from much sugary intake.
4. He can drink a bottle of Guinness before the match begins.
5. You both should engage in a long fplay.
6. He can use flex condom sometimes.
7. You should help him build his confidence by encouraging him to do all the above.

As for licking your honey pot, I cannot guarantee you that but if I may ask, do you carrot him?

Fahdiga:
After subjecting the woman to physical and emotional trauma the same court that gave the search warrant is now withdrawing it. Banana republic

Don't mind them. Useless people everywhere! If they had succeeded and possibly had seen any incriminating evidence would the Magistrate do a U-turn?

Icouldhave:
Hi all

We the children have sat my dad down and talked to him, to the extent we are tired, how can an old man at this stage in life still fornicating.

Money we sent to him for his upkeeps, he is using it to feed another man's children. several times my mom have seen vega 200 in his pockets during laundry.

The annoying thing is this woman he is frolicking with is a known area miscreant, I don't know if he's jazzed or it's something else.

A man at this age is not supposed to have sexual urge, besides while he was young he didn't do like this.

(no insults on my dad please, we respect him, he did alot for us his children both male and female)

Please how do we the children handle this issue?

How old is your mum? Is she still sexually active? It might also be that your father's children are all grown and maybe your mum is frequently visiting you and your siblings for one reason or the other while your dad is left behind alone.

At this level, it is not just about sending your dad money while his heartthrob is not available for them to enjoy it. Create moments for your dad and mum to go on a vacation together. Even if it is just traveling out of town to lodge in a good hotel together for atleast 3 days, it will be a great moment for your dad as well.

duyox2004:
I hate it. I’m 41, never married, no kids.

I’ve been close…twice. But ended both relationships when they were caught cheating.
I’ve dated several men since then, most older than me, and they seemed to be in no hurry to even be in a committed relationship. Which is crazy to me that these men are mid-40s and still trying to hangout with the guys and party. I met a whole guy group of friends in Houston 2 years ago…all single, all 36–45 years old. They were throwing house parties during the quarantine…parties!! ��

When I was in grade school, I was told to get a degree, don’t get pregnant, just enjoy being single, make friends, keep dating, and the right man will find you.

Now that I have two degrees, traveled the world, developed hobbies, and avoided pregnancy…my doctors are telling me to just be a single mom because I’m running out of eggs as I type this message. �

I beat teenage pregnancy to be considering single motherhood at 41. �

Damn you, parents, counselors, pastors, and everyone who gave me that advice. I can’t get that time (or my eggs) back. I hate being single at this age!! ��

I see many ladies like you everyday and I wonder how they feel.

The worst here is that you didn't see any fault or blame yourself for f^cking around and "enjoying" yourself when you were supposed to accept one of the numerous suitors that wanted your hand in marriage at your prime age. You were probably gallivanting from one night club to the other with different guys who would never consider you decent as a wife material when they want to make their decisions.

You have learnt your lessons though very late already.

Well, your last resort now is to run to God. There is nothing He cannot perfect!

I suspect that this is deliberate and ritualistic.