₦airaland Forum

Bossjakande:
dear am not angry is ur body and ur life if u feel ur body has a price is okay if am dating u u say I should pay to enjoy u in room den dats sad.I want a woman I can girl my girl frnd or wife not my personal ashawo. I will not pay 1kobo to sex a girl DAT is not and ashawo. but wat she will gain from me will pass 5k or 10k is sometin u cant buy or measure in money.she will gain my heart and love. how much is love and fatefulness?

Sex from your girlfriend is not your entitlement. Why should you enjoy her in the room when you have not wifed her?

I do not agree with transactional sex but I also believe that guys should not expect sex from a girl that is not their wife like it is their birthright.

breakerofchains:
Both are transactional sex. Transactional sex can happen in any form.

Just tell me, what is wrong with getting money for sex?

Please don't tell me about your religion, let's be logical here.

I see your point. I have a question... maybe I am trying to truly understand your standpoint.

If you do get married, would you demand payment for sex from your husband? Does it also apply there?

Acidosis:
OP, who raised you?

The gateman

Emaprince:
Same thing to goes to women

When a thread comes up that refers to women, we will go that route. However, this thread is about a cheating husband. It is not a competition or battle of the sexes

Not my type...

Frankiss44:
That's what majority of them don't understand.. I have seen men cheat with women that their wives are far more beautiful than... Cheating of a thing is just the quest for something different, it has nothing to do with shape or beauty most of the times

A friend once told me he can't be glued to CNN for the rest of his life when he is on premium subscription.. You understand what that means right?

It just takes discipline and being content. Some men cannot fathom being with just one woman for the rest of their lives

Oblongata:
It is well with you my sister!

At the earliest stage of marriage, many men make a lot of mistakes.

I like to believe they suddenly don't want to get tied down and crave freedom.

It's not like they were not prepared for marriage, or their behavior is anyway your fault, I like to believe they are exercising their seemingly seeping away 'youthful exuberances', some come at a far price (lifetime regrets ), others are lucky.

This is however, no excuse to treat or be treated bad.

I am ashamed to say i was like that in my early marriage, i disrespected my wife, and I took alcohol and womanized a lot!

I am quite fortunate I am part of the few that fortunately didn't lose out a lot, as I quickly found myself back on track and ensured i made up for all my wrong by tirelessly making my wife happy tiLL the end of time... No stds, no outside pregnancies, just financial mishaps, ain't i lucky?

Your husband might come around, and he might not...nobody promised us life would be rosy.

But always stay true to yourself and seek happiness, no matter what it will cost you.

Please go seek the advice of a pastor. . .

Many of them have wise counsels. . .

Please you can try 'grace point' church, very good church for marriages

Shalom

A redeem pastor will never give an option of leaving. They will say she should endure.

Acidosis:
To be honest, I do not think it is so hard to identify a potential or "would-be" cheat during courtship.

Your husband did not cheat because of your appearance, what you said, did or how you behave. Your husband cheated on you because he's simply a cheat, a child of darkness who masqueraded as a saint, and pretended to be of good intention.

He failed in the sense of pretence, and you failed in the sense that, for some reasons best known to you, you couldn't discover that part of him.

You have two options;

Quit and count your losses OR stay put in the hope that he would someday change. Aside these two, there's nothing else you can do.

Even if she had the perfect figure, he would still cheat because that's just who he is. Some men sha

Timekeeper:
Honestly I'm too forgetful... Just checked ur profile now n remembered that there is a lover and a baby lover you give ur attention too.. Any way I hope they are doing fine??

They are great. Thanks

Timekeeper:
ImaIma1, u forgot to reply me.. Was asking if we can exchange contacts and get to know each other better... Probably sending u a dm shud be the first step

Well, between my husband, daughter and work, i will be a terrible friend to make at this point.

So because he is a philantropist and humanitarian, everything he does is right.

She is community property, not his girlfriend. It is just bad that he had to find out that way.

She is community girlfriend, not his girlfriend. It is just bad that he had to find out that way.

Seems like ladies are not being dumped. Because it is just guys that keep committing suicide for breakup

lefulefu:
depends on d number of wives u planning to marry and d number of children u planning to have.

And the standard of living he is planning to have. If he earns like 40k, they should stay in face me I face you so that he doesn't struggle with big expenses.

But the truth is that most guys have other sources of income.

truthsayer009:
My Sister, Some ladies in Lagos don't want to hear "I'm on Budget" Berra stay in your house if you're on Budget LMAO!

Budget ko? Budget Ni

Honestly if you don't have money, don't ask a girl out. Not by force please.

It's what i keep saying. Why ask a girl out on a "date" when you don't have money. It is better say let us go on a stroll, sit somewhere and talk. But a date involves more. Except the Nigerian meaning of date is different.

DavidEsq:
Typical

Typical indeed!

You jump into a comment and tell me.to keep quiet. The audacity! Is it because I am a woman? If you are woman hater, hate somewhere else please

You compare my IQ with someone when you don't even know me. What does that say about your own IQ?

And you expect respect. Very typical!!!

nicepoker101:
I knew this will come from a lady.

It is not a gender thing. It is common sense and not believing everything people post hook line and sinker.

Would my question have been more valid if i were a guy? Besides, these days, people jump at anything that discredits ladies.

DavidEsq:
He explained it to u. Just quiet abeg. U and dah geh na d same IQ una get. See as she go carry her mama pestle dey poshu me now o

Hey parrot, who called you into this matter? Keep quiet and mind your IQ.

TonyeBarcanista:
20 years ago was 1999 and 800 naira was of value then. That time, a plate of food at Mr Biggs was about 200 naira, meatpie was 50 naira and a bottle of drink was 30 naira. 800 naira should be more than enough

800 is more than enough now

If we are using Mr Biggs as the standard, how much is plate of food now?

wizzyrich:
Typical Nigerian broke azz girl, always want to eat what their parents cannot afford. For God sake its just a date and not a ceremony

You sound hurt. It seems like i hit home.

The fact that all the girls you mingle with are broke has nothing to do with me.

So you spend 800 on a ceremony? Wow!

I just hope that when she agrees to go on the date, he doesn't go with 800 naira

Are you sure it's not staged?

ladiesreject:
I'm not a religious person, but I don't think I have seen a case where a Muslim lady married a Christian guy. Am not saying it's not happening or hasn't happened, am just saying I haven't seen a Muslim girl do that.

Why Christian girls mumu like this? Even the ones in Zimbabwe are not wise either.

Travel down to the north (I mean far north) and see the hatred Muslims have for Christians. You dare not talk to any Muslim girl, I mean, she won't even give you one minute to start your lies. Your religion has already disqualified you from getting her attention.
But as for the Christian girls, they are already imagining how a Muslim dickk will taste like, how SADDENING!
AGAIN, am not a religious guy, but Christian girls (90%) of them are an absolute disgrace.

As for you madam poster, you're asking us if he's lying? To best of my knowledge about Muslims, I can tell without a single doubt that he is! Forget all these ones saying Yoruba Muslims are different, A Muslim is a Muslim. In fact, they are the worst.

After marriage, it'll dawn on you that you've been scammed.
He's free to marry three more women, hope you know?
He's free to divorce you with just a simple sentence, hope you are aware?
He's free to abuse you, I hope you know?

So many questions to ask.
Inter-religious marriage is not good at all, especially for a Christian lady. Already, you're from another country so it's going to be much, much worse.

Couldn't you resist the urge to bash ladies and just respond to the OP.

9O% if Christian girls are disgrace? Where did you get your statistics? Tone down the hate and bias

dre11:
Live within your earnings.....

Have many co-workers and family men leaving on 50,000 but the make sure they live within their earnings


You think the grass is green on everyone side

And the 50k is enough with children and no other source of income?

If you are ready to deal with your children being Muslims, your husband limiting your church going, not being able to pray together and trying to convert you to Islam, then it's ok. Because what he is telling you might be different from the reality that you will meet after you marry him.

So be prepared.

brownemmanuel43:
I know many people that earn 450000 per month but before month ends they start borrowing as if they are not working. My people is not all about how much u earn, is ability to save. Those encouraging op to invest, pls u all can suggest what to invest.

So you will prefer to earn 50k rather than 450k since it not about how much you earn. And since you can manage funds well

Acidosis:
He should do blood money na abi. You folks should stop putting baseless pressures on the young man with the double your hustle talk. What if he's not educationally qualified to double that hustle? What is he going to do? He could be a civil servant with no room for side hustles. Best he could do is wait patiently for promotion or improved minimum wage.



@OP, your problem started the moment you moved into a 3 bedroom flat. Never allow your wife's income dictate your taste. You should have designed your family based on your own income, and may be 20% from wifey. When your income increases, then you can increase your taste

Please endeavour to manage the situation. 60,000 is not so much but if properly managed with your wife's contribution, N200 recharge card shouldn't be a problem.

3bedroom flat on 60k salary. He is his problem.

Timekeeper:
Hy ImaIma1, how are you doing? Seriously update ur pic, just wana see u... U r my crush here on nairaland

I am fine...lol

Acidosis:
They advise couples to live within their means.

Yeah they do.

And I think some of these guy on a lean salary have other sources of income... something else that puts extra money in their pockets.

But for a man to go into marriage with that kind of salary without any other income is bound to struggle in this present economy.

Tajbol4splend:
It's not about the income, it's about how wise he can utilize the income, he's even lucky the wife is working so the question is what does he do with the money

What is she wasn't working or her business was not doing well?

SmartyPants:
So you're going to ignore the fact that the marriage has been fine up until this issue? The fact is that this story actually proves that getting married on a budget can work albeit with some discomfort which the parties should expect.

Until this issue? There is always a build up. If you want to marry on a slim budget, be ready to be angry anytime you are asked for money