₦airaland Forum

You cannot fund your mum's lifestyle if she cannot manage. You have other siblings that are probably giving her money. You guys should come together...ask how much they give her and how you guys can come to an agreement on how much to give her.
Then you people should also talk to her. She is earning a salary...what is she using her money for? Ask her if she doesn't want you to have your own house and take care of your families.
With the way you are going,you will be 65 and still living in a rented apartment without even a land of your own all because your mother feels she has a right to your money.
You need to be firm and straightforward with her or else she will keep controlling you. You are a man with a family. You need to make decisions that will benefit them cos you are no longer alone. Or didn't her own husband build a house?

Florblu:
Because they want to eat their cake and have it

Get out of my head!

Maybe because they don't think it is God that also created the left hand.

monex:
ok so answer this question - should a guy marry a lady who doesn't spend on him?

Please make no assumptions about who I am and what my position to OP's question is while answering my question above

I won't advice should. When you love, you give. It applies to both sexes.

OrdercityWeb:

Great! Cool.

You see what i noticed from all you mentioned most are intangible. This means a lady needs to spend time developing herself. Also from your answer i can sense you're an adult or at least reason like one.
The thing is all you mentioned are good but the problem is how many young ladies spend time to develop themselves to offer ththis things today?
This is why many of them think sex is a bargaining chip. Thanks for your response. Have a good day.

You know we have so many social media girls and girls with fish brains that cannot even hold an intelligible conversation. They have no idea what to do with their lives and end up probably becoming baby mamas for celebs.
But we still have those ones who are smart and intelligent and keep developing themselves.
It is just that guys will go for a fish brained girl because she is flashy and attracts them with just her sexuality. When she messes up, they start singing the anthem that "girls are whores, useless..." blah blah blah. Not realizing that the girl is a reflection of the kind of choices he makes.

brightfuture17:
One died recently

I am just 23, and my youngest sibling 19

I don't want to live anymore

I am so depressed.

OP people have gone through much worse. Take heart.

My school mate' s father died in a plane crash before she entered JSS1 and her mum committed suicide nefore she reached SS3. She is the first child with 2 or 3 younger ones. They are still alive today.

Be strong. You dont need these thoughts you are entertaining.

iamphill:
I can relate to your question to an extent. I just lost my wife and i have a son of about 3years and a daughter of about 2months and some weeks. Funny enough today makes it 2months she died.
Sometimes i feel helpless and confused thinking about the future of the kids and many issues am facing from my inlaws (it was an intertribal union) .
Guess i can learn one or two things from this thread.

Take heart OP. Am sure your deceased parent is in a better place. God be with ua all.

Very terrible loss. I pray God comforts you and bless your children. I know it is too early to think about another person but when the time comes, God will give you a good wife and mother for your children. This too shall pass.

OP it depends on who you are closest to. You will definitely feel the loss and sadness for both of them but you will know who you feel it for more.

When i heard my dad died, i cried a bit but was really sad. When he was being lowered into the ground, i didnt cry but i felt that loss of a dad. When i heard my mum died, i cried all the way to d hospital. When she was being lowered, i cried too. I think of her more and sometimes my husband would catch me crying because i miss her and the part she would have played in my life.
It just depends on who is closer to you.

It might not be a charm but just good sex as someone mentioned. It might take a while but your dad will come back to his senses. The stupidity does not last forever because his eye will clear soon.

A lot of men neglect their families because one babe is tickling their fancy. When the chips are down, those babes don't waste time to flee.

She should not return the money. Besides, he gave her the money to come visit him and she is right there with him even if he might not know. His temperament will calm down. It cannot last forever.
Maybe after a year, you can tell him that you were the friend/scammer on facebook.

MhizzAJ:
My biggest regret s wasted time

I concur.

I love that crime channel too...women who kill, mind of a murderer, blood relatives, disappeared. Very intriguing. My husband had to ask me one day if i had any plans to kill him . I had to reduce my love for the channel.

OrdercityWeb:
And what will the lady be giving?

Please don't mention sex because: 1) Not all guys ask for sex ( I'm one)

2)Sex is enjoyed by both male and female.

Kindly answer thank you

Sex is not all women give and as you mentioned it is not enjoyed by only him.
They give gifts, food, financial assistance if needed, emotional support, advice, etc.
But the topic's reference was to a MAN who doesn't give. That's where my focus was

DanseMacabre:
Madam I'm tired of explaining that the topic initially read Hollywood.

Sorry oga

DanseMacabre:
OJ was a football player, not a Hollywood celeb.

I dont think the topic is abouy Hollywood celebrities.
OJ Simpson is a celeb. Anthony Joshua and Mayweather are boxers and are they not celebs? David Beckham was a footballer but is a celeb..

OJ Simpson's case was one of the most popular and media covered cases.

talk2saintify:
Oj Simpson went to Prison For His Crime and Served More Than 9 years in Jail

He was Only Released Recently

OJ Simpson went to jail for another crime years later. The murder case is still being debated and analysed till tomorrow.

He should have been Number 1 on the list really.

NwaChibuzor:
face of nolloywood? Well the yoruba's dominate nollywood with their meaningless movies so I'm not suprised they gave this to their child and blood etomi.

Compared to the igbos, we make good meaningful movies full of life lessons and inspirations.

So you know etomi more than me? she's yoruba from edo. The yoruba part of edo state just like you find them in kogi state too.

I won't classify her as a yoruba actress. Those ones are usually bleached up, have hairy and big stretch marks as a result of the bleaching, overweight and all talk alike...always vibrating when talking and rolling their eyes.

Adesuwa doesn't possess any of those qualities.

Ridiculous!!!

Who brought this one up? Be disgracing your family up and down.

Evaberry:
am I the only girl that doesn't like proposals

Story...ur type that will cry when they propose to you. Then come to NL and apologize for being hard

Lawlahdey:


Maka why, I won't give you my sister again oh.

Don't mind him. People like him will not even know when they start spending and dishing out the money when they fall in love. All this one na initial gragra

Proudgorgeousga:
But why the need to emphasize you are not one to reply his comment.? I'm curious

It was not a need. I was making a point. If i were a feminist, i would have said "i am a feminist and i think women should pursue their dreams"

Why does this matter to you?

Why put the cart before the horse?

Joy1706:
Why did you feel the need to state that you're not a feminist?

Because i am not

Op when someone loves, they give. Whether or not you are working, your boyfriend should be able to give no matter how little. It is a mindset problem. You don't need to be around that kind of person.
He might not be your father or caretaker but as long as he says he loves you, he has to give.
You tried to have stayed 3yrs with him. I can't stand stingy, selfish and small minded people.
It is your choice to continue with him but most faults are amplified in marriage. Look well before you leap.

Just try not to do anything that will complicate your children's lives. Your father's name doesn't have to reflect. You might do that and your daughters get married and change their names or your son decides to do a change of name when he is older. What then?

Talk to an elder or someone in authority for advice

Never been sexually harassed. Just been made a pass at. I can imagine how challenging it can be though for both men and women.

Lol...ladies are learning. Please when you go for functions, act like a visitor. Sit down and cross your leg. You may decide to help coordinate but pls dont stress yourself. If he will marry you, he will... not because you slaved with his family. If he doesn't marry you because of what his family thinks, he is not for you.
What is the point of slaving and still get dumped?

HumanistMike:
Any male that kneels to propose to a female is not an alpha.

Kneeling down is tantamount to selling ur self short. The male is not subservient to the female!

When a man kneels down, he gives the female the impression that he is at her service. He is basically pleading to be found worthy to be of service to her. When will men know their worth? When will men wise up?

This sh1t gets me tight every time. Lots of guys do it without realising the consequences. They just do it because it what the see on TV. Newsflash! TV and the media are misandric and working super hard to dumb the male. You don't have to look further than the rhetoric in TV commercial, movies, sitcoms etc to figure this out. Stay woke!

Continue...
When you grow up, you will drop some unnecessary reasoning and ideas.

Hubby is almost like this. I fight him for getting upset when i worry about anything. I told him if he could laminate me, he would

It is a competition. What even gets me is how they spend money to make and buy different attires for the prewedding pics...even people that claim not to have money.
It is just a trend that someone started and has blown. People take it so seriously. I hardly open posts if prewedding photos here anymore.

Congrats. Nothing new. Most new couples start from scratch. Not everyone looks for a made man to latch on.

56 houses...this woman is evil

abescom:
This is silly honestly. You guys are just being plain insincere an hypocritical. The pant wa found in his f*cking pocket. Another man's wife's pant.

Say the truth no one will kill you. Ask 10 people around you seek their opinion, 9 out of 10 will tell you that man is shagging his neighbour's wife.

The hypocrisy on this thread is disgusting. Let's call a spade what it is.

Even if the guy was caught on top of the neighbour's wife, they will still say it is not logical for the wife to believe that he slept with her . He probably slipped on a banana peel and fell on her and incidentally her legs were open and he fell into her. Smh