₦airaland Forum

Acidosis:
Hmn, okay..

Since you've agreed that the man is the head of the home, I think it is just normal to trust and accept his views on matters relating to your wellbeing and the overall health of the home, especially when you claim to love him.

Not many husbands today will comfortably advise their wives against a paid job on the grounds that the children or the family as a whole needs her care and attention. When you find one that advises that, grab him by the waist, hold him, stay glued to him, tightly dear, and never let him go.

I understand your point. However, the man is not there to lord over her and make her forgo her ambitions because of the care of the children and house. A compromise should be reached or else he will end up with a bitter or depressed wife later.

That is why a woman should be careful about who becomes her husband. Because as a head/leader, he can kill her ambitions and make her hepless and totally dependent on him. I am not a feminist but i believe women should also pursue their dreams.

Acidosis:
Do you agree that a man is the head of the home?

I do

Acidosis:
Some dreams can be detrimental to the collective wellbeing of the home. For instance, her dream will not be to play the role of a Secretary to a randy and shameless boss. Her dreams wouldn't be to act as a video vixen to some celebrities, etc.

If he married her as a video vixen or the likes, he should not expect much. I am talking about a responsible career. Men also work for randy female bosses. That does not mean he would stop working.
I can work with all kinds of people. If the man likes, let him be randy but he should be randy away from me.

Acidosis:
We have the right to tell you why or when to work when the earnings from such works add no value to the home or when the cons from such works outweigh the benefits.

You're supposed to take care of the home, so when you abandon that duty to pursue some selfish ventures, I have the right to put a stop to it.

You should realize that a woman is also a human being with dreams and aspirations. Her aim in life might not be to just get married and have children. She will want more from life than that. And no man has a right to limit her or cripple her dreams.

Very smart way of handling the issue . He is asking u to leave when he should be explaining to you and apologizing if he is guilty.
Call his family to come and judge the case before you leave the house. He needs ro facethe consequences of his actions instead of using sense and strong head to cover it up

Ahhh!!! God abeg o.

SAMBARRY:
for doing what they should do or want to do?who made marriage obligatory? Shioorrr

Not the getting married part. But marrying the guy with an empty house...someone just starting life. People do it everyday.

A woman should do the one that makes her feel fulfilled in life not what society or an article says. Some women end up being miserable just being a full time housewife while some it is the other way round
The couple should talk about it and make a decision that makes everyone happy and comfortable.

Full time job...smile always,slim down, respect us, clean the house...it is well. We will not die

Nothing new or fantastic here. New couples start life together everyday. Some even stay with friends till they secure an apartment. All these women that are expecting to be given a prize for doing what they should.

It's true that people call women prostitutes especially men. If a woman is successful,she is one...if they woo a woman and she turns them down, she's an Olosho, ashewo,prostitute. It's getting old and stale. Creativity is needed

yemi1261:
Marriage is sweet when you have a good partner but awful if your spouse is terrible

Very very true. I married a liberal minded, humble man that doesn't hold on too tightly to things that most men hold on to. Very understanding and is open to anything that makes life easy for me. All i have to do is ask and present my reasons.
A lot of men tend to be difficult and stuck in their ways and are unwilling to bend or compromise. And some women's behaviour can make their husbands lives hell.
When you have a good partner,life is good. I cannot say i have lost my freedom because I am still allowed to be me and my life is not stifled.

If you are not happy when single, you cannot be happy when married. Your spouse cannot be your saviour.

I quite agree. The house help was employed to do a job and is being paid to do that job. Sending her to school or to learn a skill is an added benefit or advantage by the employer.
The house helps are paid but the employer still provides the needs like clothes, cosmetics,etc. Sending her to school is a choice

wizzyrich:
What if the house help is the type with poor communication skills in english, did the lady thought about the adverse effect it will have on her kids ?

It hardly ever affects the kids. There are also illiterate mums but the children still turn out speaking good English.

Geosystem:
in as much as I don't want to generalize that Christian men are sex starved. the fact remains that most of them are very sex starved. Even one of my state pastor in the church I attend preached against wives who are a selfish with their body, making their husbands masturbate. op is on point.

It really has nothing to do with religion. Are the women starving their husbands because they are Christian? It should depend on the kind of women involved and the kind of relationship the couple have. I know of fellow Christian wives who are not stingy with sex. Each marriage has it's own peculiarities and cannot be generalized. Some people might look composed and very put together outside but in their bedrooms, they are wild and crazy.
OP can only make this conclusion if he has gone from house to house of Christian couples to get the statistics.

lebete3000:
Sorry tell me about his accent...

Nothing to tell. Watch his movie and judge for yourself.

When i heard him say "charasteristics" in a movie, i just gave up on his accent

Maybe the husband is one of those NL guys that married on 40k salary and has already allocated all the money but now an expense has come up.

My eldest sister. She is hardworking, motherly, has a blissful marriage...working class and has her money. Very wise woman...kind of reminds me of the Prov 31 woman

Giving to the poor and giving tithes are two separate things. One act cannot replace the other. As a Christian that studies the word you should know that.

Besides, beggars are not necessarily the poor that we should give to. Most beggars have begging as their profession...as their means of livelihood. There are people that genuinely poor and need the money but are not on the road begging.

Nairaland favourite topic...broke guys. How to live a broke life... Will you date a broke guy...Types of ladies around broke guys. Broke broke broke!!!

It just seems like some guys are happy being broke and are not aspiring to make money but to learn how to live a broke life.

MasterofNL:
I brought religion into it because Christian men are not allowed to marry more than one wife and also not allowed to seek sex outside marriage.

So a Muslim man that has 3 wives but still has a side chick or planning to marry a 4th wife is sex starved?

Also, the fact that Christian men are not meant to go outside for sex does not mean they dont.

And it is not a general thing. So many factors are involved in the sex status of the marriage and it is peculiar to each couple irrespective of the religion.

Adults most times. Though i remember a child's birthday party my nephew attended...strictly for the kids invited. Infact my younger nephew couldn't enter because he wasn't invited.

Parents were not allowed in. You drop your child at the entrance and come back at a particular time for pickup. That way it is really a kids party and they have fun.

But really, there is no standard per se. Just do it according to your pocker and taste.

What kind of fallacy is this nau? Christian men are disadvantaged in sex!!! So ALL Christian men get starved of sex by their wives? OP check it, this cannot be a fact.

So that guy that said his wife likes sex too much has to be muslin, atheist,etc.

It has nothing to do with religion but everything to do with the woman personally or the couple.

Daeylar:
Keep your condescension to yourself dear


That's how tribal wars start here, you'll see a beautiful thread, rush in, only to see this tribe vs that tribe, not a single reasonable comment,

Anyways I'm done

You can be done. It's your business. That was my opinion about the names. Stop trying to force a tribal war with your comment.
If you dont like my comment, move ahead.

Condescension in your mind!

Daeylar:
Why can't you respect the names,
Why can't you respect the tribe?
At least respect the thread, Simple thread, Nigerian names you love so much, a very peaceful thread.
You decided to come and antagonize people


Imagine the rudeness to insult a tribes names and call it old and overused, even say they should form new names. if someone replies you in kind now this thread will degenerate to a bashing fest.

That's how you guys start tribal wars on innocent threads.

You take life too seriously. Calm down and breathe.

Even my name is overused and common in my tribe. If i enter a gathering of my tribe people and someone calls my name, I am sure 100 of us will turn.There are names like that have been recycled over the years. It is not a tribal war. So many new names...people are creative with names.

Dorcas has misplaced priorities. She is married and allowing her mother to control her family. If he has talked to her and she had refused to take heed,he should let her be. She will get the memo soon.

madridguy:
I like NGOZI and AMARACHI.

Ngozi ke!!! That one is old and overused like many igbo names lije Emeka,Chidinma,Ifeoma,Chinedu...

Una no dey form new nane ni?

Anyway, i like Edima,Darima, Yandara,Mololuwa, Imikan.

Everyone seems to be a marriage counsellor these days...even single people.

Why complicate your life? Please make money so that you won't have high temperature when the babes happens to make a request

Just to be able to comment