ImaIma1:
I bear my husband's 1st name as my middle name and then his surname. That's another way to do it. That's my culture anyway

What of your own middle name?

Ybaby:


My bro!

Mark Essien of hotels.ng just launched a book for coding for kids. Pls check his Twitter.

Gbo gbo wa ma jeun omo pe pe

Since money making is now gender specific, what do you plan to teach your girls? How to cook and clean?

Jaycool18:
Be sure about something before trying to correct someone next please..it's orderly

Na wa o. Cant you read? He said it is orderly na. So what exactly is the problem?

Fastestmanalive:
If you want my honest advice,then you should dump her.

She is most likely keeping you as an option. To clarify, she probably has another boyfriend elsewhere but wants you as a backup plan.

The fact that you did this for three years baffles me

@OP you should ask yourself if you want to be her second option instead of asking us. If your answer is no, then you should message her and tell her you're done with the relationship. But if you want you can still be her option in Case she changes her mind.

Hope this helped

Did you even read the post?

Organicist95:
it's orderly...

He just corrected the op na. Any need for thus your comment again?

azvm:
2014. i met a guy on Nairaland, i'll call him C. i'm not a new member, only using a new moniker. I was 27, him 29 (now we're 32, 35). i'm yoruba, him igbo. we met in Religion where we were encouraging one suicidal, depressed dude in a thread. he PMed me abt liking what i wrote then the friendship began. we had things in common, had interesting discussions, talked about ourselves and families, problems, etc. we agreed to be in a ldr, communicated mostly over email, whatsapp texts. we've done video calls too several times and till three years ago but i put a stop to them bc he was always asking me to show him parts of my body

2016. i was doing a school research project i needed a website for. C told me he knew someone in Nigeria to build it for me, said he would pay him the money, about $100. after the website was built , a week later he started hampering me to return the money, hurling insults at me, telling me i stole his money and he would tell everyone i took his money and ran. i told him i thought the money had been a gift. we were in a relationship, i didn't think i had to return it. after all the verbal abuse i sent him the money -actually sent him more than $100, then he was happy. it wasn't until i told him how bad his behavior was towards me that he apologized. after this, he wanted me to visit him in Nigeria (we had talked abt me visiting Nigeria since 2015) but i couldn't make it. he soon quit talking to me, disappeared. i didn't hear from him at all for three months, no calls, no nothing. i ended up meeting a man here, a Jamaican. i wasn't attracted to this man, we weren't in a relationship. i don't want to get into these details but i was sexually assaulted and lost my virginity, at 29. i reported to the police last year, it's still an ongoing police case. i somehow blame C. i've felt if he hadn't disappeared i wouldn't hv fallen into the hands of this rapist. C knew my goal was always to save myself for marriage like i had been doing.

rewind. some background. before i met C, i was in a relationship when i was 25, in 2012.
2012. i met a yoruba guy my Uni. he was an international student. we never had sex due to me wanting to wait for marriage. we kissed, hugged during our weekly outings. we saw each other once a week for movies, dinner, bowling. he ended up cheating. 7 months later, i broke up w him. this dude is history but is who i consider my ex if you ask who my ex is. i consider this relationship my first ever relationship, the only real-life relationship i've ever been in all my life, though a non-sexual one.

back to C.
2017. he did encourage me after i told him what had happened to me, provided moral support. but he then disappeared again. when he contacted me four months later, i was upset, we exchanged some words over email- mostly me calling him dishonest, unfaithful, untrustworthy, which were all true. he took things too far and was verbally abusive calling me horrible names and using the things i've told him about myself to insult me, like the sexual assault. he apologized later but i was quite hurt. we decided to start anew for a relationship mostly doing whatsapp texts and email as usual. he isn't a phone call person, he has the tendency to need his space for a week a two- i never complained.

2018. he disappeared again this time for 8 months, from april to november, no communication at all. i had told myself to forget about him. he suddenly called my phone one november afternoon 5 times. when we got to talking he confessed he was engaged to an igbo girl in Nigeria, was busy making preparations for the marriage but her family were making too many financial demands so he opted to call it off. i was shocked to hear he had been engaged. i told him he only contacted me again since the marriage plans didn't work out. he apologized, said it's me he wants to marry, i'm a simple girl, i'll give him peace of mind, blah blab blah. he wanted us to start where we left off. i told him i no longer trusted him but said we could try again, see where it goes

2019. we continue and things were fine till Valentine's Day. a week before V-day he said he loved me, promised to never leave me again. on Valentine's day i got no Valentine's message from him either or email or whatsapp, no call, nothing. meanwhile i would see him on whatsapp. fast forward to two weeks later i needed a logo for a blog of mine. i found a guy on nairaland for it. initially i wanted to send C the money to give to the guy but i decided to send him the money myself, i sent him the money then C started ignoring me. long story short the guy didn't send my logo after receiving the money. i told C, asked him to call the guy for me to release my logo, he refused. after this, i stopped communicating with C myself this time, he didn't contact me either, not till later last year

2020. fast forward to last month he told me abt his laptop which got damaged after a power outage. i started looking online to buy another laptop for him ( i didn't tell him ). my plan was to surprise him, send it to him for his birthday in October. we chatted on whatsapp the next day, i was doing my best to make him feel better, asked him what laptop he's using now, other questions to show him i care. all of a sudden he went of on me calling me deplorable n all sorts of names, saying stuff he knows will hurt me. i dunno maybe he was having a bad day or what. i told him i was planning to buy another laptop for him but he carried on insulting me. i blocked him. asides, his communication towards me recently has been sexual -he's always talkn abt wanting to make love to me, how attracted he is to me ( he has my pics ), how i'm his fantasy. he emailed me days later talkn abt me being the love of his life. he first refused apologizing for all his insults said over whatsapp, he said he doesn't need to apologize before i forgive. he finally said "i'm sorry ok" days later, i told him there's no more relationship. he says he doesn't want to let me go, i'm the only one who understands him. lately i've been thinking abt sponsoring him or going to nigeria to marry him. despite the fights he hs been my friend over the years. plus i'm thinking being in the same place may help us bond a lot better, start a family someday. my fears are he may not be a good father or husband, will be abusive, or i may find out he's got a wife in Nigeria. what do u guys think i should do?


*he's still on nairaland though not too active. he may or may not see this thread... it wouldn't matter either way.

*please, before anyone writes this is a fake story, everything above is what i've been through, my experience, 200% true.

He sounds like bad news. Run! You also sound desperate. Move on!

truthhurts2:
Pls is there any reason why so many ladies wear beeds on their waist, cos, I keep wondering why it has becomes a norm for most ladies. pls if there is one genuine reason can you share it?



Ladies, oya keep it rolling

Choice. How many times will you guys ask this on nairaland?

ImaIma1:
What an annoying attitude. They must all be in the same click. Where is it in the Bible that only God deserves thanks?

I think it's more of pride and superiority/inferiority complex. How can someone even live his life without saying thank you for anything. That's really strange.

Even my two year old cannot collect something without saying thank you. She even thanks her daddy when he buys her cereal, milk and other necessities. Meanwhile these old men cannot see reason to be thankful. It's a shame

Clique not click.

light099:
Davido undoubtedly has a good heart. How I wish he had a good voice and good singing skill.

His voice with no studio effects and filter could harm the brain.

Nigeria music industry is bullcrap. The wacks are the top guys while the real singers are not recognized. Especially most of the real singers are in Churches doing gospel songs and not appreciated.


Nosa is a fine singer who could sing like a bird, I always have good chills listening to him.
Johnny Drille is very good singer and I also think he's a good pianist.
Timi Dakolo is good too. If Simi never left gospel song, she wouldn't have been known. Very special singer with special voice. She had been singing in the Church years when all these Froggidos and Wizkid were still in Secondary School maybe.

The real problem is that lot of Nigerians don't have quality taste of good things, which has dictated the kind of celebrities dominating the industry. Especially you see a lot of them on Nairaland.
They don't know good music, they don't know God's sport, they don't know good football players, they don't know good movies, they don't know good food, they don't know good fashion etc. Just some wack people with wack tastes.

You talk too much.

obataokenwa:
You see their evil plan about Rivers State. We were obeying our governor and adhering to the lockdown till Buhari withdrew the Police from the borders...now see what we face in Rivers State.

Buhari and his evil men should leave Rivers State to be controlled by the governor for our own good. Anything Buhari touches or speaks about turns deadly. We don't want bloodshed and restlessness.

Why do they want to expose us all in Rivers State, what's their plan for withdrawing the police..Buhari and the evil men talked about Rivers State...now we've climbed from 7 cases to 51 within ten days...

Why why why. How can someone wish us death like this for Gods sake? See how Kaduna is reducing cos of the proactiveness of the governor there but our own here is they must be exposed and die...

I feel so bad right now.
God deliver us from this govt

Stop blaming Buhari. Rivers state recently got their own testing center that's why there are a lot of confirmed cases.

Votukpa:


Wrong.

You said something a dumb person would say and so I pointed it out.

There's nothing wrong with having an opinion, unless it goes against law, order and design. Your cringeworthy 'opinion', goes against it.

What you spewed out was shameless godlessness.

In case you have not realized it, men and women are NOT equal.

The way you quoted scripture to substantiate your 'opinion', was nauseating to say the least.

If you don't know something to be factual, research on it first before declaring it in public as your opinion. Some kid might read it and forever transform into a degenerate.

Cringe worthy is a relative term. Go in peace.

Votukpa:


Stop

Being

A

Dumb

Biatch

Anybody with a different opinion is a dumb 'biatch'? Your home training is classic.

rs172:







You yourself, are you abstaining?

Yes.

Mysticwebb:

Why are you not happy for the pictures that you and menopause affected kemi made?
Shop and edit another picture of yourself wearing isiagu to provIe you are Igbo.

When did menopause become a sickness?

Ynnk:
@ireneidiva, I will ask around. Meanwhile, if you are in Ph, your help is needed here. Thanks in advance.

I finally found it. Thanks. Patterns i try to follow make my sweaters smaller. How can I increase?

Neduzze5:


I am in PH

Where can I get yarn?

Ynnk:



It depends on where you live. Besides the lockdown is not helping.

True. What I see here is 'bobby wool' and my 'bebby wool' which is very rough. I need something nice and affordable in Port Harcourt.

Hi. Yeye wool is now difficult to get. Please, which other type can be easily gotten locally?

Kendumazy:
Coronavirus isn't an epidemic. It's a pandemic. Take note.

That is what he said na. Did you bother to read it at all?

ChristianNorth:

Lol.

I am currently in Lagos and you don't know the rate of community transmission there yet.

I just mine, for safe keeping.

Just took 2 tablets to see how body will react to it. I taken chloroquine before prescribed by an expert, about 1000mg.

So, 2 doses was a safe play for me

You just took drugs to see how your body will react? The claim that chloroquine cures coranavirus is not yet verified. FDA has not yet approved it. How can you even believe that it will boost your immunity? People that know better are advising you and you still won't listen.

helinues:
Those who are succumbing to the virus are from late 50's. That means they could have died even without having the virus..

How many coronavirus cases do they have in UK gan gan that her mother had to be infected in just 5 months trip to UK

So if indeed her mother had the virus, then all the family must have been infected.

Learn to read.

Psalmy2cute:

coloured poo oh my world..

Oh my word not world.

babyfaceafrica:
are you the fiancee?.. People should stop joking about such responses.. Both the man and the woman no get sense!

I was being sarcastic.

correctguy0900:


Lol u funny. Speak for yourself. U can go and date or marry Mr perfect in ur utopian world.

If i ran away from her because of a mare push, i should run to u, a lioness?

If i ran for a mare push from someone who is a million times better than many ladies out there, what should i do with a lioness.

Please no problem, u and other commenters, enjoy ur imagined world of 100% peaceful relationship like in heaven.

I knew you would say this. A push is not mere. If your partner is genuinely willing to change, you guys can work on it. You can discuss it but you are treating it with kid's gloves. Nobody is perfect but violence is a deal breaker. Oh well, what do I know? Funny you called me a lioness, I wasn't the one that pushed you or was I?

RisenPhoenix:


Just leave them jaare. You give them logical points, they respond emotionally. When you make a joke to your future wife and she starts explaining how she will poison you, what poison she will use, how that type of poison affects the body, which type of food best hides the taste, the exact pot she will use to cook it and how she will pretend to be crying when your relatives come; continue thinking of her as your future wife. It is not yesterday that husband killing started and it is not tomorrow that it will stop.

She was joking about the poison na.

correctguy0900:


I mean i hardly respond here, but the same level of response come from people is quite tempting not to ignore.

Is totally bad raising hand against anybody, man or woman alike.

I have had my girlfriend pushed me ones and almost fell because i wasn't balanced on the ground. But she was stressed and i offended her real bad. We were both wrong, but i can't imagin poisoning her as a consequence of raising her hand on me. She wasn't proud of her reaction, and i understood we are sometimes just being human.

Moreover, poisoning sounds real cold blooded, and he's gonna be eating her food.

Will she push her mom or boss no matter how stressed out or angry she is? You better run from such a violent person because that is how it starts. That is not being human at all. Pushing is cold blooded. What if you fell and hit your head?

youwanbanme:




I don't av to see ur CV to know you dare not allow ur hubby wash ur pant & bra where he could be seen.
Another point of correction madam, house chores for a woman is a prerogative ... its not voluntarily she doesnt have much choice other than to do it. no force tho buh she can be compelled if she fails to carry out those duties.
It would av made sense if you make references to NL or court. of all the women you've seen how many av left or threatening to leave there man because he cant cook & clean d house, between you & i lets open a thread n declare we cant cook let see who wil get more bashing mostly from d females. its pointless 4 me 2 hold water when you nid water ..drink up

Okay.

youwanbanme:




It is wrong becos you won't allow him do it publicly or where someone from the outside might see, "overtime i av learnt whatever you do or practice that you can't do openly is fully wrong".
Don't get me wrong, i dd not say a man should not do house chores, buh it must under certain condition, such as;
1.bachelorhood 2. wife sick or absent 3. romantic treat 4. voluntarily feel like it. asides all these there is no other reason.
Point of correction, raising a beta son as got nothing to do with house chores save that emotional talk 4 sissies ... av you seen any thread by a woman complaining her husband can't cook or know how to clean d house.

You don't know me and what I will allow. According to your number 4, does any woman do chores by force or isn't it also voluntary? And about the last point, a lot of women complain about their husbands with this your kind of mindset that don't do chores. So nothing you've said holds water.

biggie73:
.....your son just told you the cardinal truth. His mother supposed to help you out. My question to the mother is how will she feel when her son washes his underwear while his wife or girl watches? How? You definitely have a man in your baby, and a weakling in the father....

How a mother will feel when her son washes his own underwear? Your own mindset is the worst. I wonder where you were raised. I'm out of this thread.

Belafonte:

I already answered this question

Did you? If you don't walk away or slap, pray tell me, what should be done?

youwanbanme:




Automatically, when he is of age he will wash is cloth himself when he sees no one to do it, by the time all his cloths are dirt non to wear out he will wash. Growing up i had mentality it is women that cook, my father did not even ask us to enter kitchen for once buh wen i entered Uni. was alone i learnt, infact i showed the interest till i know how to cook. so today if my gf is around she cook n if am alone i take care of myself. time will sort somethings. that boy is gonna be a real man unlike is dad,maybe he was also washing his wife bra & pant, mayb that is what d boy even saw.

And what is wrong with washing his wife's undies along with his? Not doing chores makes someone a real man? You seriously need to change your mindset and raise better kids. Chores are things everyone should do. You didn't need to go to the university before you learnt to do all that.

fairfora:
Our kids live in an indomie generation. Most of them are super smart. I posted a video made by one of my sons recently on YouTube and the likes i received were amazing. Nobody really teaches them those stuffs the say or do at times.

I think the onus is on you to let him know that he needs to help out too when it comes to chores, to assist his wife when he grows to that stage. Teach him too by making him do it while you watch. My sons started bathing themselves, washing their socks and brushing their teeth from age 4 and now, they are all grown to do chores. We used to supervise them at first. I wash all my boxers and singlets because I feel nobody else can wash them as clean as I want them to be especially my singles and boxers. At times, I wash my clothes too, though through the washing machine and I do call them to watch me do that. Now they can do all that by themselves.

It is not 'assistance' for a grown up man to do chores with his wife please. He is just doing what needs to be done.