₦airaland Forum

All hail Becomerich!
Becomerich, Becomerich k'anyi ga eso (It's Becomerich we want to follow)
Ma O na eje eje ma O na anana (Whether he is going or coming)
Becomerich k'anyi ga-eso. (It is Becomerich that we want to follow) Hip Hip Hip! Hurray!

OMG I just came across this una thread for the first time today and the greatness and helpfulness of this forum dawned on me. I was also swayed by the clamourings for the fruit of the womb by most of us, may it be done unto us all according to the will of God in our lives. May God heal the sicknesses, take away the mountains and problems preventing some of us from cuddling their babies and may God be praised for those who announced the births of their babies. I am really very moved by this thread.

@Ketubah
How are you dearie? Hope good? Just to say that somebody thought of you, wished you well and said a prayer for you. Take care okay Baby, it is well. Alleluiah, Amen.

You mean that Kadiri has passed away after his brother made that huge sacrifice of donating his kidney. OMG!I am speechless, what greater love than that sacrifice only to lose him again. Poor dears, my heart goes out to you and you family.

Abeg Aunty Aminalib abeg helep Tosinville, fstranger and 190 check whether their name dey the list---make them know whether dem go go do HIV Test ASAP 

@190
Sweetheart, you know I am only pulling your leg, haba I can't do that to my Babyboy.

@Fnwa
How now, abeg no finish me-o, Oti o.

@Tosinville
One love brother man, Just kidding okay.

[quote author=MzD@rkSkin link=topic=618277.msg7867752#msg7867752 date=1299558194][color=#0066ff]hey how are you?
i think she is good. I will ask, or I'm
sure she ill log on and see this later on.
Yeah, i[b] think she went to bed[/b].  [/color][/quote]You think she went to bed? I haven't seen her username in a long while unless she changed it. Wait is she now Mygoldie or Mrs Chima?(No offense meant to these ladies please) I know Mrs Eve loves her nairaland too much to be away that long.

Hope you are good Miss Mzdarkskin? I see my babyboy 190 getting excited all over the place and showing you off to everybody. He is so into you. Smile!

@Freecocoa
Cocoa girlie! How are you doing Baby? Haven't I missed you? Where have you been? Happy new year to you! How is your Kay Baby? Whoops! The last time I remembered you sulking that somebody was taking his attention away, I hope you have him back now.

You guys should leave that girl alone for me, I admired her confidence when I watched the video. She is not versed in English but that did not make her cower or suffer inferiority complex, She sure has got "it". Watch that girl in years to come and you will be surprised at her.
Wait-o girlfriend you don't have to drop out out of school for some ordinary show though. Get your schooling on girl and go do me proud. He-he

@Mzdarkskin
How is Mrs Eve doing, I hope good?
I don't see her around anymore or has she put to bed.
I only realized later on that she was pregnant. Do extend my greetings to her okay.

Arrey Sweetie,
You have such a great head for business, she may be needing the tusk next year for the trad wedding.
Susan do patronize Arrey our friend when that time comes okay Baby.

190 said
Mzdarkskin fell for me

and we are happy!


Aint we Nairaland celebrities

Baby who said you are not?? Show me the person, make I tell the person wetin dey. Smile!

@teetee
Lots of hugs to you sweetheart, it must be tough on you in a society like ours with our views towards an unmarried lady of that age. It's great to hear you sound positive now, be it done to you according to the will of God in your Life. His thoughts for us are thoughts of good (even if the good takes time to come).

Mr Reed Wait! How about you advising that the lady deliver that child if they are still at the verge of getting that abortion. If something goes wrong in the process of the act and that lady can't ever give birth again, then that quick fix may bring her misery.
I don't support wild living and lasciviousness but I think that we should all move to that place of acceptance (like other parts of the world are doing) and tolerate such mistakes instead of beholding it all with a dark cloud before it. We humans are not perfect.

40 GOOD YEARS
And Dude is still Flexxing, he no dey tire? Just wondering why his people kept quiet all those years only to get courage when other countries arose. The International community should make a law about his likes that likes to rule forever and stipulate a maximum number of years a person can stay in power. Is he the only person in that country?

@Poster
Your parents merely have fears of you dying young and some human being is somewhere acting God and playing on their fears too.
NOBODY! I repeat NO HUMAN BEING knows your tomorrow. Pay no attention to those who think they do, you must tell your parents to let go of that fear of theirs because some things we believe and cling on too have a way of coming to us and we in Nairaland don't want you to die young. It's important they let go of that "dying young" thing biko.
You and your fiance should pray more that God will level down all these mountains standing before the love you have for yourselves.

susan2030:
God bless you, Ivynwa! thanks for your thoughts regarding having a pastor/priest pray with us that same day. I actually haven't thought about that. You are so on point about doing what is best for me and my fiance. Thank you!

You go girl!
Do have a great day on your day. Walk it! Walk it!

Rity looks fabulous in her red dress but her designer should watch it next time he designs for her for there is something about that dress that didn't enhance her waist curves good. Can it be that the material of the dress is too stiff or something? She is in great shape too but our dress didn't bring out all the feminity in her waist curves that would have made her a bombshell just like Kate Henshaw's did for her.
Ini Edo looks fantastic, now that's what Miss Beyonce meant when she sang "bootilicious". Whew!! Babe carry booty no be small. Igwe!

You guys can give Freddy all the advice you want but please it is not fair nor nice to tell a woman that she is old just because she has lived some years, fifty something year olds can still look beautiful. I have a 51 year old neighbour/girlfriend that still looks very beautiful.
However tainted the scammers/419 has made us, it doesn't change the fact that a black person and a white person of whatever age can still meet, love and marry well so let's cut her some slack and allow a brother marry his sweet oyibo wife.

You just said it, she rocked and re-rocked. She rocked twice, thumbs up girlfriend!.
Let the girl enjoy her beautiful jacket biko, if that sweet throw-around jacket is mine, I won't mind rocking with it as she did. She has the dress sense to have been able to combine it sweetly with different accessories the two times she rocked with it. Girlfriend keep rocking! Whoops I forgot that a certain group of people make a living by writing down trivial/irrelevant gossipy stuffs on paper just for them to be called journalists.

Oh Baby, I just wiped off tears for your loss. I truly felt for you guys, carrying a sweet baby to terms and losing it. Like others said support her emotionally and otherwise, more sweet babies will come. I understand that she can't wait to cuddle a baby but methinks that the C-section cut should be given a little time to heal a bit. Get the advice of 2 or three doctors, you may even gather info by searching in the internet.

Quote by KisskrisThks to everybody. I really appreciate every pieces of advice u ve all given to me.
I am looking for job now even any
I lost my job as a result of trying to be a good husband and father(trying to satisfy my boss and my pregnant wife but got sacked) but all d same, i know i ll be fine one day.
I just need to speak to someone yesterday because i was[b] miserable [/b] and a friend encouraged me to share my predicament with u guys so as to lift d burden off my heart and i think u guys ve done wonderfully well. Thks to all.

I feel for you that you have no job, wish I can get a job and hand it over to you right now so that you can work and take care of your family. Don't relent, keep job hunting seriously and don't sit around and wait for job. You can go to a building site and ask to be allowed to render a helping hand and at the end of the day you have earned something, you can go to a fast food place and you may be surprised that there may be one or two things you can do there to earn some money, you can even team up with a friend that has a bus driving around town and dress up neatly (who said that a conductor has to be dirty and without certificate) and help him collect money from his passengers and blimey! you are making money.

I am not being sarcastic dearie, in Lagos children return from school in the afternoon and do a little conductor work in the evening so I don't see why an adult can't work harder than that. There are many things you can try out there that you will be surprised to see doors opening for you only don't sit at home waiting for some company to invite you for an interview and perhaps get on the nerves of the women in the house by so doing. You too should grow some balls and let your in-laws know that you are not allowing anybody walk all over your dignity as a human being just because you are short of some papers called cash. You go boy! 

Mother-in-law was only concerned that you guys have no source of income and are pregnant, don't be mad at her though she should have been more tactful and respectful in expressing herself. You seriously need a source of income because having a baby is a huge responsibility, you may survive hunger for some days but a baby has got to eat and mustn't suffer hunger.

Come on the good people of Nairaland, anybody that knows of a job opening or some little genuine jobs/part time job he can be doing can bring the idea to the table, let's help a brother that has come to lean on us.

@Poster
Nnaa wetin be your field make we helep you look around okay Baby.

Alleluiah to God! It's amazing that all of that did not affect the brain of the baby. God did say that our names are written on the palms of his hands, he is indeed watching over that Baby. Praise God somebody!

Glory to God!

Goldieluks:
It is your wedding and you have to do what ever pleases you,so far it is in line with the NORMS and values of the society .You can do a court wedding and can also go back Nija to do a traditional wedding.Your father can still walk you to the alter,during your church blessing(wedding) and you can still have bridesmaid.I don't think there's anything wrong about the idea.

I am very happy for you Susan Baby, you go girl!
Did I hear somebody say the norms and values of the society! I respect the positive values and moral boosting norms of the society but not the norms that sandwiches us between the hard place and "displeasing ourselves" because the norms says for us to make people clap for us. This same society that wants a young lady to be married to be counted as successful, wants a young couple to throw party (spend real good even if they are managing and struggling hard to pay their bills and feed) before it can be termed a proper wedding.Who wants to please that type of society? Not me, as for me I am doing my thing and don't care who is applauding, commending or nosing it all down.

Do your thing Susan, wedding reception for me might just be the groom and me and a handful of (10 guests if they will get to that number) dining and wining by the seaside that is after the church wedding in which hundreds and if possible thousands of choristers have sang down the heavens for me. Wait! and it doesn't matter to me if me and the groom have had two babies in the past after doing a court marriage or after having had our people perform the traditional marriage back home on our behalf.
Sweetheart go do your thing and live your Life, never live for some Nigerian norms that make some of us suffer and smile at the same time because they long for the accolades of the hypocrites among us.
I will suggest that you and your fiance should seek the blessings of God on your marriage same day as the court marriage(even if you still want to do the church wedding celebration next year) by praying with your pastor/priest/whoever you know that is truly serving God or even pray with each other and invite the Lord in your midst. Alleluiah, glory to God!(now don't let me get excited in the Lord cos when I do nobody can stop me----smile) 

Bashr,
I detest the tribal bashings, we mustn't talk down on ourselves and I refuse to talk down on my Igbo people. It's in all lands, all people, all races. The only thing that differs are the degrees which is what I meant when I said that "Some Nigerian men are really overdoing it"
Loosen up Bashr, don't let nobody get to you. I understand your loyalty to your people, yet you mustn't let that get to you Ojare. We are all just talking. Cheers!

A marriage should be of two people that love and respect themselves not two (master and slave) with one of them of the  thinking that the other must be subservient. We women already know and have it in us to respect and love our men, we don't need to have it fed down our throat and get treated like slaves/machines/products that were bought in the market of marriage. Some Nigerian men(no specific tribe intended) are overdoing it really.

quote by titsqueeze
1. man brings wife to US
2. man pays for wife to study nursing
3. wife graduates and start earning more $$$$$ than man
4. wife treats man like piece of sh'it
5. man endures untill point break
6. man fears he is beginning to lose his manhood
7. backed against the wall man decides to fights back
8. with weapon of choice (knife, rope, gun, fist) man launches counter attack
9. strikes a fatal blow on wife
10. wife dead

Sweetheart you have some points here but how about we look at it from the real angle??
1. man brings wife to US
Man marries wife with some unhealthy concepts and mentality like the belief that now he has got (a near servant/slave/children breeder/cook/housekeeper/cleaner/sexual-urge-satisfier- whose satisfaction-does-not-count/keep-your-mouth-shut/money-maker) all rolled into a wife and on he brings her to the US.
2. man pays for wife to study nursing
Some men with the mentality mentioned above goes on to invest in his money making machine in readiness for it to begin to spin money. Poor unsuspecting wife struggles through all those roles/positions she found herself in and graduates thru nursing school and Hussy heaves a sigh of relief "Yes I did it, now let the money spinning begin!
3. wife graduates and start earning more $$$$$ than man
At this stage wify may be nursing some kids, housekeeping,working in the hospital,up and about 16/17 hours a day and when pay day comes may not even have control of the account where her pay is stashed away for hussy to spend on his many projects in Nigeria, cars, enjoyment etc
4. wife treats man like piece of sh'it
Wify begins to feel being used/enslaved, anger, depression,unhappiness begins to accumulate until it explodes some day and unhappiness/quarrel/antagonism begins to rear its head in the home.
5. man endures untill point break
Man begins to question himself how dare this woman (that must not talk when he talks, that must obey every words of his whether good or bad, must be under his control) is beginning to tear eye and want out of his control.
6. man fears he is beginning to lose his manhood
Man becomes a victim of his unhealthy mentality and allows the suppressing norms he believes much in to depress him and make him feel ashamed and at loss
7. backed against the wall man decides to fights back
Man while grabbing at straws as he falls in deeper and deeper into his "self-incarcerated" prison of norms and unhealthy beliefs------
8. with weapon of choice (knife, rope, gun, fist) man launches counter attack
Makes for weapons to defend himself from himself(and unfortunately from the society that lent him these norms that is fast ruining him)
9. strikes a fatal blow on wife
The poor woman who cares for the children, is the cook/housekeeper/money maker(all things rolled into one) becomes a victim of some norms and beliefs that if they were not imbibed in by her husband in the first place would not have destroyed their lives.
10. wife dead
Yet the statistics of women who are losing their lives at the hands of men (who believe that a woman should be used out for all she is worth) is increased by one again.

Come on people, when are we going to begin the shedding of the unhealthy norms and beliefs that our society is riddled with. Underlying all these deaths are men whose mentalities are not allowing their ego rest when a woman begins to earn more than them or even refuses to yield her earnings for his use.
Now we know that some of those norms are indeed dangerous to believe in and imbibe.

Walks into the thread, reads the rantings and walks out (smiling and satchaying from side to side like a true model) on realizing that the poster is too low minded, cheap and vain for Nigerian ladies to pay him any mind.    

Sometimes people are better off with directions so that they can make up their mind for themselves and not conclude from their assumptions.
I have seen a young chap that concluded that his fiance was doing some wrong he was not sure of just because 3 or 4 nairalanders agreed with him, I have even seen one that jilted his gf just because a nairalander that knows the girl's family bad talked the gf's sister.

cold:
What you on about,didn't you read his story?He's a student struggling to make ends meet & u suggesting he brings the whole family over?Haba!Try & make some sense.Ideally that should be the case but this is not an ideal situation k.@Op You need to apply tact & good judgement in this situation.

1.You're not in the country & from all indications you're likely not going to break off from your studies to return home
2.He's your uncle & far older than you
3.He works for the federal govt & may make things pretty dificult for you & your family.

Well. . . except you're planning on sending him to sleep with the fishes then i guess i can help.Think about it

Don't be mad at me Mr. Cold, I only asked a question and ended by saying that couples should work hard at bridging such distance gaps when it arises.
I didn't see where poster mentioned that the 20k has been spent (Oh okay now I see it in another post of his, they just have to ry hard to raise the money and give him back so they won't feel indebted to him for anything, it is that money he gave out that gave him the audacity to go wild with his imagination) Yes I agree with you , he needs to apply tact and good judgement here to protect his family which is why I said that wify should avoid the man and that both of them should keep it to themselves unless the man begins to brew trouble. Definitely Mr. Commissioner may threaten blue murder if the matter is blown up as he will not want to lose his reputation and good office.

Better still poster can ask his wife's father or a wise elder that can keep a secret to go and quietly tell the man to remove the hand of the monkey from the soup. In order words he will be made to realize that 3 family members are aware of his advances and that they are not interested in blowing it up but for him to respect their family and keep off from the woman. I am sure the shame of such rebuke will keep him quiet and in check.