₦airaland Forum

boy1:
Y not investigate how she was raped,she could be lying u know.
forget those tears,it could be fake.
i've been there.

1 yr old boy your inteligence is increasing daily.

i really dont know what to say. i cant believe a nigeria boy rape a girl. who born this boy? does she know him. if she does let me know we can help you lock him away where he belongs.  you see why i hate fatherless kids.

just be there for her and be nice and gentle. knowing that one of your brothers has done damage dont do your at least not now pls and whatever you do dont go presuring her for sex plsssss.

Aloy.Emeka:
They are proving the girl right once again that many of them harrass her. My guy, forget wetin chics dey write for internet, some of them yabbing this chic look like female Dele Momodu.

u sabi yabis. dele momodu na fine person

Connie001:
A big thanks to everyone for contributing their advice to my predicament. It is not easy to be with another nationality, especially if you are lady. The area i live in canada, there arent many nigerians. I guess i am tired of being an outsider and having someone else's culture pushed on me. I live with my eriterian boyfriend and there is always one eriterian community meeting after another in our home, the eriterian ladies come into my home and open my fridge, enter my bedroom and basically show me no respect in MY own home. And i cant complain because apparently this is their culture. i discussed with my boyfriend how i feel and he says thats he sees no problem. I am as good as a wall paper, no one takes note of me when they are all gathered, worse of all they speak their language. I love my boyfriend but how can I marry a man that does not accept my culture and refuses to leave his enclave. Even though i have not met the igbo guy, i feel so connected with him already. He really wishes to visit me when he finish his 2nd Masters in UK, so far he seems to fit my bill and i am falling deeply inlove with him. Though we havent met we have talked about family, marriage etc already. He has not interfered with my relationship with my eriterian man. A small voice in me keeps telling me the igbo man is the one for me, that he is the solution. My heart is already with the igbo boy but recently he is always busy, we use to chat every two days but now we chat once or twice a week. I always feel funny when a guy start saying he is busy ooooo, so i am even more confused than ever. By the way, overall my Eriterian man treats me like an egg, he is very loving and caring, it is cultural issues that are creating our problems.

you already live with this guy why did you get into another with okafor and co? i dont like the sound of this. there are too many women in nigeria pls go to eritrea. we will miss you

[size=18pt]The Arlington Ladies[/size]

READ: Matthew 26:6-13
What this woman has done will also be told as a memorial to her. —Matthew 26:13In 1948, the US Air Force Chief of Staff noticed that no one attended the funeral of an airman at Arlington National Cemetery, and that deeply disturbed him. He talked with his wife about his concern that each soldier be honored at burial, and she began a group called the Arlington Ladies.

Someone from the group honors each deceased soldier by attending his or her funeral. The ladies also write personal notes of sympathy and speak words of gratitude to family members when they are present. If possible, a representative keeps in contact with the family for months afterward.

Margaret Mensch, an Arlington Lady, says, “The important thing is to be there for the families. . . . It’s an honor to . . . pay tribute to the everyday heroes that make up the armed forces.”

Jesus showed the importance of paying tribute. After a woman poured a costly, fragrant oil on His head, He said that she would be honored for years to come (Matt. 26:13). The disciples were indignant and thought her act was wasteful, but Jesus called it “a good work” (v.10) for which she would be remembered.

We know heroes who have given their lives in service to God and their country. Let’s honor them today.  — Anne Cetas

Lord, help us to appreciate
The work that others do,
The service given from their hearts,
Their sacrifice for You. —Sper


We honor God when we honor one another.

http://www.rbc.org/devotionals/our-daily-bread/2009/05/25/devotion.aspx

Nimshi:
Interesting question.

If you meant the Bible God, you can be certain he doesn't give a damn; plenty examples in the bible.

Take Adam & Eve; if there was any ceremony, it was a showing: bible God shows pretty Eve to observant Adam (observant, cos, he ain't no fool; he's certainly seen the dogs and other animals getting it on; and he's sure to have wondered why he's not getting any. . . ); so God brings Eve to Adam, and dude gets the story; wham bam: they're together.

Or take Isaac & Becky: they the slave guy only had to find the babe, and the marriage was done. Plenty more examples. But you gotta note: as time went on, the society became involved; so Jacob had to serve 7 years, get duped, and another 7 years before getting the babe he really wanted. These days, the society is the government; so it's smart to meet the minimum requirements. Look, you could get away with the common law arrangement in Naija, but elsewhere, say in Europe, you need a paper; something signed; there's a reason solid institutions need such a paper. So, there's the registry; that's the cheapest these days; it's really a blessing. Get your lady there, have witnesses, and you're married, and, you could be sure, Almighty God is happy with that.

Now, with the family: don't 'damn' them; family's important. you could keep people on your side and not have to spend money you don't have. If you could talk and have a good disposition, you should be able to find that nice uncle on the other side, or a wise big cousin of the woman, or somebody to see reason with the financial situation with the young couple. . . nice to keep family on your side; heck, God likes it.

Now, long story short: God is happy as the state is happy; most states're happy with the minimum requirement of a signed thing from the registry.

The rest is icing; and all the sugar isn't even good for your health.
.

give me ice any day. i hate sugar.
seriously, why cant people do what they can afford.

[b[size=18pt]]THE TEST OF SELF-INTEREST[/size] [/b] this is very interesting old but relevant.



"If thou wilt take the left hand, then I will go to the right; or if thou depart to the right hand, then I will go to the left." Genesis 13:9

As soon as you begin to live the life of faith in God, fascinating and luxurious prospects will open up before you, and these things are yours by right; but if you are living the life of faith you will exercise your right to waive your rights, and let God choose for you. God sometimes allows you to get into a place of testing where your own welfare would be the right and proper thing to consider if you were not living a life of faith; but if you are, you will joyfully waive your right and leave God to choose for you. This is the discipline by means of which [size=18pt]the natural is transformed into the spiritual by obedience to the voice of God. [/size]

Whenever right is made the guidance in the life, it will blunt the spiritual insight. [size=14pt]The great enemy of the life of faith in God is not sin, but the good which is not good enough. The good is always the enemy of the best. It would seem the wisest thing in the world for Abraham to choose, it was his right, and the people around would consider him a fool for not choosing. Many of us do not go on spiritually because we prefer to choose what is right instead of relying on God to choose for us. We have to learn to walk according to the standard which has its eye on God. "Walk before Me." [/size]

http://www.myutmost.org/05/0525.html

arguements are always your number 1 enemy of progress and good things happening in your life.

mazaje:
can you see the FEAR that drives and makes religion thrive?

what fear?

THE TEST OF SELF-INTEREST



"If thou wilt take the left hand, then I will go to the right; or if thou depart to the right hand, then I will go to the left." Genesis 13:9

As soon as you begin to live the life of faith in God, fascinating and luxurious prospects will open up before you, and these things are yours by right; but if you are living the life of faith you will exercise your right to waive your rights, and let God choose for you. God sometimes allows you to get into a place of testing where your own welfare would be the right and proper thing to consider if you were not living a life of faith; but if you are, you will joyfully waive your right and leave God to choose for you. This is the discipline by means of which [size=18pt]the natural is transformed into the spiritual by obedience to the voice of God. [/size]

Whenever right is made the guidance in the life, it will blunt the spiritual insight. [size=14pt]The great enemy of the life of faith in God is not sin, but the good which is not good enough. The good is always the enemy of the best. It would seem the wisest thing in the world for Abraham to choose, it was his right, and the people around would consider him a fool for not choosing. Many of us do not go on spiritually because we prefer to choose what is right instead of relying on God to choose for us. We have to learn to walk according to the standard which has its eye on God. "Walk before Me." [/size]

http://www.myutmost.org/05/0525.html

Builder:
"You did not have to be rich. I went to a state school, for crying out loud, and in my school, we spoke perfect English. The kids in the so called private school then could not speak better English than us. In secondary school, we spoke good English. The English we spoke at that level, the university graduates today cannot speak it, and that actually breaks my heart. Then, we spoke Queen's English."

Only in nigeria do people speak 4 english, Queen's, Perfect and Better and Good English, may be the good lord safe us

did you see the graduate who cant spell graduate thread?

teissys:
When did she tell you that she has calmed down? Well, she slapped a news reporter last year December just because the reporter wanted to feature her in the Daily Nation Paper. It didn't call for that, did it? She also didn't want to get down from her limo because our "African" oxygen was contaminated so she needed Air Condition. Yet she spent a whole week in the same African soil.  Whether the thread was started in 1990 or 2000; Naomi Campbell is still nasty, period.

_{Grrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!}

thank you very nice lady

can you give me a name pls.  i like to see how it came out.

surveycash:
PLease Nairalanders,

I will like to know how to change my site to a blog either with blogger or wordpress.

Thank you

cant get you clear. what do u mean?

turn www.graceandco.com into http://graceandco..com/

yamakasi:
Its not the foriegn cameras? What do u mean by foriegn camera? Nigeria doesnt make Camera's. What is needed here in Nollywood is Cinema laguage on screen laguage. Visual sense. Lighting. Painting with light. Worship light, Adore it, appreciate it and steal it when you can. You will have all the great visuals everyone is talking about hollywood and bollywood. Lighting and Framing the camera makes the difference guys. Even when you make a film with ur phone camera. I am an Indian filmmaker i like tunde kilani's work. He lights up well and there is quality. So its not the "Foriegn Cameras " which makes the difference

you are so right. i said this 2yrs ago and somone nearly had me for dinner.

BenHundred:
We really do need HD cameras. I can't stand to watch these movies.

HD for people who cant do make up for otapiapia cameras. i beg wait till 2050AD

Itohan123:
* my friend does NOT get money from oyibo women, they get his privates he gets their womanliness
* I am NOT  a student
* you are ugly

may God have mercy on you

~Sauron~:
I agree with this.

thank you my bros.  i have seen clinics in nigeria with nothing else than strong pain killers and scizzors for you know what and someone is telling me law in naija.

i have been involved with orphanage/ motherless babies home for years. this is one area of naija has been of great interest to me.  our people dont know about the sanctity of the human lives and these girls start so young it is unbelievable.  it is like some wicked force has anesthetised our society towards accepting evil in our midst.  

punch today is reporting one of our good sister yeye saying "”It had opened me to the callous nature in some women and girls. There was a day I was summoned to see a girl who was in labour and would not want the baby after birth. I was there and even helped with the delivery. Right inside the bush, as the baby came out, and we were about cleaning her up, this girl stood up and ran away with blood dripping from her private part! There was a young woman who abandoned her set of twins but left the father‘s address in the pocket of the dresses on them. When we found him, he was living in an uncompleted house. He came to visit them once and we have never seen him since. There is a baby whose mother died and was abandoned by the father. I now advise young girls to stop dumping babies. Whenever they get pregnant and nobody to claim paternity, why not report to an orphanage or the social welfare department? Some babies have died in wherever they were dumped, some killed by wild animals or they are infected. It has taken God‘s grace and I have been asking the FCT minister to help us with our land. If we can build an orphanage on our permanent site, we can accommodate 250 children then. This place is too small for us.” http://www.punchng.com/Articl.aspx?theartic=Art200905244353868

thank God these were found we are talking of the ones that the mothers womb blinded from ever seeing light and sadly held down for murder.  

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria?topic=275853.msg3915041#msg3915041

Tùdor:
According to timmy7,if i want to hear the voice of god i look into the bible.
I find that very disturbing because i look into the old testament and and see god telling us to stone people to death,kill unbelievers (even family members),steal peoples lands,rape their women and kill their children e.t.c
This is all TOO MUCH!
The BIBLE is trying to turn me into a MUSLIM!

the bible turn you into muslim and muslim turns you into hell what have you lost?

tubabie:
Aww , I was hoping we wouldnt have to sweep too much from the main topic but ok.

My point of contention was not if Nigeria have a higher rate of abortion _{of course based on our population alone its feasible}
My point is that it isnt easy to get abortion done in the proper way that would pose less health risk because of legal restrictions which forces most those ladies to go through the back door.
Majority of the girls doctors//quack doctors who carry out the procedure do it in inordinate circumstances.
And i will assure you ma'am too that my age is highly insignificant to the topic, I've been a NIGERIAN long enough to know how our legal system is.

sorry to burst your burble and confidence. we did a documentary on this 4yrs ago. it is actually easier and cheaper for you to get abortions done in naija than to buy some medications. sadly even inside the so called teaching hospitals. there is almost a no question asked policy with the only question asked is how am i getting my money. we secretly recorded some doctors even doing abortions right inside their own living quarters with children playing around. we have been on this before so lets leave this. it is sunday afternoon ma.

bible said they that nameth the name of the Lotrd should depart from iniquity and he that stole should steal no more.

ever heard the song

the things i used to do i do them no more

if we say we are christians we are not permited to live life as usual.

things must change becos we are not people that do what comes naturally.

if having 2 wives was good you think the rich would have allowed the poor access to it.

this is one madness that keeps most people poor back home

contact via email @yahoo.com   

telll her what you want and she will point you in right directions.

good luck

tubabie:
What are you going to use to back these claims of yours that abortion is too easy in Nigeria?It's not even legal except based on medical advice so how easy can it be? 
Which countries did you use as your yardstick?
If you had said that Nigeria had a high rate of quack abortion, you would have sounded right!
Talking of easy abortion, you should come to The Uk and see the definition of the phrase.
Anyway my first deduction from the post was not on the ease of abortion in Nigeria but the trauma and effect that aborting a baby had on the woman and her marriage??

are you trying to be funny ma'am? this is a serious matter. what is quark abortion again.  if nigeria kept proper statistics as they do in the uk you would be shocked it will take nigeria only 1 month to meet UK 1 yr figures.  we have been here on another thread so i will rest my case for today.

saying this "It's not even legal except based on medical advice so how easy can it be?"  tells me you probably are too young or you dont know how naija work.   name 2 laws you know are obeyed in nigeria then i will tell you what i know about this industry in an email.

Mai Suya:
The height of self delusion. . .

mallam, you dont catch nigerian cheat before?
wetin be your wahala i am speaking for nigerians you are here trying to give my most righteous people bad name. look here be careful you hear?

No2Atheism:
@JJYOU,

I think you are mistaken me for someone else,

As a matter of personal policy, I don't sleep around, hence impromptu pregnancy can't happen to women cus of me, unless its possible to email sperm.

i was giving solution to the problem u waz praying never to face.

omo yoruba:
Ok this is my predicament- PLEASE READ CAREFULLY as i need as much advise as i can get. 

I'm based in the UK, and visit Nigeria at least once a year. The first time i went, i managed to sleep with 3 girls, in Ikoyi area. This was no big deal, as i was introduced to them through a friend. With 2 of them it was a mere fling, and both parties went there own seperate ways. However with the last girl, we carried on brief contact on my arrival back to the UK but it was only the occasional email, and text.

Early last January, i went back to Lagos, and linked up with this girl again. This time we met in Falomo, in Ikoyi, as im based by the waterside.

The problem is that she brought her friend with her, whom i immediately felt a connection with.

Anyway as things went on, this friend also came back with myself and a friend to our apartment.

I could not take my eyes off this her friend, and it was clear she also liked me.

Me and the initial girl now had sex, whilst the friend was also present. They stayed the night, and i collected the friends number the following day.

Since the encounter with her friend, i have been in deep trouble.

Girl (A), the original girl has been making my life hell.

To cut the long story short, me and her friend Girl (B) began having a relationship (after all, me and girl A were not an item).

When girl A discovered, she grew incredibly jealous, and they both fell out.


To really cut the story short 2 years down the line me and Girl B, are still having a long distant relationship. She seems genuine, and i trust her a lot, to the extent of her even tatooing my name on her shoulder.

Girl A as gone to all extent of breaking us up, such as taking both our pictures to several witches and wizards. She even sometimes use to call me all the way from 9JA and pretend to be Girl B, having sex with different men at night. I have received phone calls pretending to be Girl B asking for other guys by name, and several funny issues.

I recently visited 9ja again, and my feelings for Girl B are stronger than ever especially after not seen her for nearly a year. She is georgous, and every mans dream girl. We promised each other to always be faithfull, and never let girl A, or anyone for that matter ruin our relationship.


Im now back int the Uk, and despite speaking on the phone every single day, its extremely difficult on the trust side. We are currently making plans for her to come over for holiday.

Although i can feel she has feelings for me, i sometimes take out the stress on her, and i make her feel so annoyed with me.

I manage to assume, she is been unfaithfull, or messing me around. Her actions show she is genuine, but i just cant get it around my head why this girl wants to be with me so much.

She as met my family and all speak well of her. She confessed that she loves me because i treat her right, which is hard to find in most guys nowadays.

We speak absolutely everyday for hours, but i just sometimes have bad feelings, as the distance is complicating things. I ALSO FEAR THAT I MAY BE A TARGET OF ACCESS TO THE UK. SHE MAY COME HERE AND DO A RUNNER

WHAT CAN I DO,

ANY ADVICE WILL BE HANDY,  THANKS

[b][/b]

bring her down if you think she is worth it.

No2Atheism:
@Ziggy mama

1. I completely agree with you on your opinion, infact am impressed, cus my suspicion is that most people can't seem to understand the basic fact about marriage.

2. The issue of love is likewise something i have also been struggling with and hence something that has been influencing my relationships with women and whether or not i enter a relationships or take any relationship to the next stage.

3. As a man i understand that we men tend to operate based on 3 factors which are listed:

   - Lust
   - Beauty
   - Love

Lust
Any sincere man would tell you that   he has once fantasied about "tapping that ass" of some women (even though he does not particularly even like them talkless of love them), just for the simple reason that he lusts after them either for their boobies or backies or both. Unfortunately, what then happens in most cases is that majority of men get so engrossed in tapping the ass that they lie to themselves and the woman in question that they love her, when in reality what they love is the sex and the adrenaline rush of chasing after her to tap that ass. Thus such men end up agreeing to marriage based on lust. Unfortunately such marriages are bound to fail and become prisons because sooner or later that man is going to lust after something else. Hence that is why boredom starts to creep in such marriages.

Beauty
Women really have to understand that Men are natural born Hunters, most men would do or say anything to catch their prey. In some cases due to multiple personality disorders most men would actually sincerely mean everthing they say. However those things being said are as a result of the natural instinct of men as hunters.
Thus in consequence some men are just after trophy wives based on beauty  , hence once the marriage has been concluded, some of those men tend to feel that the mission has been accomplished (because the trophy wife has been hooked), hence gradually the attraction and satisfaction of being married to her starts to ebb away. Hence the boredom starts to gradually creep into such a marriage.

Love
Love is a difficult thing to quantify for a man, hence it takes time and circumstances to actual be sure and also because our joysticks and eyes tend to muddle up our reasoning and heart (hence why a man would still have sex with a woman that is much less beautiful compared to his wife).
My opinion is that it takes maturity, sincerity and desire not to rush into sex for a man to actually determine who he loves and who he does not.
The truth is that if there is love in marriage there would be no cheating, because the love would overwhelm the urge to cheat. Hence @Ziggy mama dat is actually the reason why i support your reasoning.

--------------------------

True love exists when Love factor supercedes, controls and overwhelms the other Lust and Beauty factors in we men.

Infact personally, though i wish to be married to a woman who is a freak in bed (the Lust factor part of me  ), who is beautiful according to my own personal preferences (the Beauty factor part of me ) nevertheless I have learnt to put myself underself control so much so that marriage would only be an option if and only if I can say with 100% certainty that I really love the lady in question independent of lust and beauty.

--------------------------

Personally as a man I also suffer from the problem of confusion between lust, beauty and love, however one way i have come to tackle it is to be as truthful with myself at all times. Settling down to ask myself simple but painful questions about me and about the woman in question so that i can determine the answer to the question why:

- Though i might find a woman attractive, yet i would not even bother to ask her out simply because i realise that though i might be attracted to her based on beauty and lust, yet i don't think i actually love her.

------------------------

Love takes time to develop (i have come to learn this personally), hence my policy and advice is to try and be casual friends first (without starting a romantic relationship) for a longtime to test whether there is love or lust.

-------------------------
[size=18pt]One mistake I pray never to make is to never be married to a woman I don't love[/size].

dont go pregnanting woman you will be black mailed or forced to marry. marry only people you respect and know you cant live without. marriage is hard work

tubabie:
How sad!
This will make her constantly unhappy when she thinks of it.
I wish though she had been able to draw more strength and refuse to do it, for crying out loud children as God's gifts don't come easy.

yes ma'am they are a gift from God but when you live in nigeria it is easier to abort than stand up for what is right.

prittigrrr:
I did not say that she did not have the power to say no.  I believe she did have the power to say no, but was pressured to do otherwise.  I am not totally blaming the husband, but only saying that it would hurt me to do such a thing.  It is a wicked industry wherever it is practiced in the world.  I also believe this choice will haunt the lady.  So many women suffer after this procedure.  I also wish she could have found strength to say no; however, I think she felt her marriage would fail and that she was not willing to deprive her other children of a father if the marriage ended.  The guy already threatened to impregnate another woman.

the man is a foolishness personified. i blame him cos he started the wickedness. he want to kill one and go impregnate another one as a revenge. there is a curse upon him.

abortions are too easy in nigeria. i have said it before most of the troubles we have in that country are the result of the ocean of innocent blood crying against that land.

Itohan123:
Well since he is Nigerian and the women I see are Nigerian, he is probably talking about Nigerian women. (more specifically edo state )

mmmmmmmmmm may God help us. sad as it i dont blame him for coming to this conclusion.

deji2005:
I completely agree with you

thank you sir. i have been there and know how it feels. the only solution is always to take her out of the environment as he has done. it is his duty to protect her from our lovely people. help him relax and not feel guilty.

deji2005:
I really dont know mate is just that am puzzled by it, I mean the way he reacted very weired

you can not get it becos you have not been there.  nigerian do it all the time without effort.

most of them expected him to marry one of them going out is like a betrayal.  even if the lady was from the cameroon or ghana he would have faced the same wahala. nigerian are very tribal that is why you still find churches and mosque almost along ethnic lines.

let them be happy with themselves and try not make them feel guilty about it.

Akuviv:
Hi All,
Know it that every individual is unique ! Hence there will always be a special thing about the other person. Ask King Solomon !   At the end of his adventures he zeroed everything to VANITY.Why chase everything of the opposite sex? Hence every married person must discover these unique qualities in his/her partner and harp on it. My husband told me some days back ' I want to see that GIRL' It got me thinking. YOU ARE SPECIAL, find,nourish and appreciate that person called You  then others will follow.

Most times husbands become bored and take their wives for granted because there is no more CONQUEST! Women WAKE UP! Learn to playgames in ur homes and not fall Yakata to the whimps of the man. Give him reasons to woo you. Yes great reasons to chase u. Ur Life must not be monotonous. Become adventurous,develop new hobbies and your personality for good. Be creative in everything especially in ur cooking and sexual life. Jolt him as he sees a new you. Believe me he would want to be in the know and discover your motivation. Some wives simply stop living and wrap their being around the man and kids. Could be suffocating! Pls make positive friends and grow. Complement his life, be a life wire (a very lively fun-to-be-with person). No one wants to be around a negative,depressed,dirty,nagging or sullen person,
When you lack a good sense of humour and don an iron cast face all the time, he will gladly pay huge amount of money with friends at the next Uncensored Comedy programme without u. Spicen up your home. Keep him guessing as to what to meet in the house. He will keep coming home.
Some make the mistake of having a food roaster,for the kids ok but not the man. Thinking of a food roaster makes me sick. Make meal times fun and not just a routine. Same goes with sex!  Must it be in the bedroom? Ask Isaac if he was in the bedroom with Rebecca when the Kings men saw him with his 'sister'! Some wives make the mistake of not commending their husbands' sexual prowess just to appear decent.The men in turn go out to clear all doubts and regain their confidence,women of cheap virtues abound these days and will willing hyper inflate his ego even when he does not measure up. It is also not a SIN for a wife to make a SERIOUS sexual move. What was she licensed to do?

A wife should also grow with the husband and meet up with these changes as they come.

Adultery is like putting hot coals in ur groin, if u can bear that, then go ahead .

God is our sufficiency, WE CAN BE FAITHFUL TO OUR SPOUSE.

Marriage is worth the effort, don't give up

NB : ASTUTO U R A RARE AND SPECIAL BREED. Wow

clap for yourself ma'am.  kpa kpa kpakpa kpa.
well done.  affairs are not worth it.  the heart you break may just be your own.