This really is a man’s world, but in the last few decades black women have done more to undermine the black man’s role as the head of the family than any white man ever could.
For as long as I can remember, black women have always supplanted the black male as head of most households in the black community. Black women still rank highest among unmarried females of any race. And, the black community still holds the record for unwed single mothers.
This all leads back to the fact that black women do not respect themselves and in turn don’t respect black men, who are increasingly looking outside of our community for respect and validation.
Listen to the sistah in this video as she speaks the truth that most of you don’t want to hear. After you’re done watching the video, watch it again.
this is one of the replies to the post above
mimi08 Says:
What!!
First, she doesn’t know what she’s talking about. Black women never “wanted” the role of head of the family; we were forced there because so many black men refused to take the reigns. No black woman truly wants to run the roost, she does it because she has to. She does it because he is not there to do so. And the independent attitude comes as a RESULT of the black men level of disrespect for the black women for decadesssssssss! Black men don’t now, and never have held their women to the same esteem as other races of men have their women. Black men don’t now, and never have protected their women, revered their women, as other races of men have their women. After this was done so much, black women got the picture that hey, i can’t lay down here and cry, i gotta pick myself up, and i got kids to take care of.
Their are so many singles female head of household families not because the woman refuses to submit to the authority of the black men, but because black women refuse to let the abuse of their minds, bodies, and spirits to be abused by black men. I’ve heard this argument before, and it’s usually from women who either are a part of, or close associate of the islamic culture. Black men somehow convince these women that they are the cause of the breakdown of the black family, even though for years, black men have revered white woman and think they are better, stepped out on black women making multiple babies outside of the marriage, some having whole families on the same block, refused to see our value, and refused to recognize our strength. It’s insane to think black women want to be single mothers, that we would rather be unmarried in order to avoid being submissive, that our thinking is so independent that we could never come together for the sake of family.
Most black women bend over backwards for their men, and even though they know their men are cheating and lying, they internalize it as their fault, and when he leaves, it’s their fault too. Most black women refused for years to date outside their race (thank god we finally wised up and dating outside our race), hoping and praying that black men would see their beauty and value. Most black women would lie in the faces of their parents, employers and best friends to save the reputation of their black man, even though they know he doing them wrong; they’d rather shoulder the hurt, pain, and dissappointment alone in the dark by themselves. And why, all for the sake of the love and respect of a black man. And what’s the payback for this loyalty? Black men in record numbers have deliberately sought out to make families with white women, they have abandoned their black female spouses and children because they simply don’t want to shoulder the responsibilities of fatherhood and being the head, especially when times get hard; they refuse to curtail their infidelity and continue to run all up and around town with the next willing female no matter her race, and they refuse to put us on that pedestal. Simply put, we are not, and never have been revered and truly valued by the black men, even going back to slavery days when we were sleeping with the white man so he wouldn’t hang or sell our children and men.
Black men have never wanted to admit their fault in the breakdown of the black family. They never thought black women would be strong enough to truly be independent because they knew, even along time ago, that black women are the least revered in society. They knew that black men were more “valued” then black women. Women as a whole were thought to be less valuable than men, and don’t have the nerve to be a black woman (you basically had no value, except being a sex object, breast feeder, or field worker). Black men never thought women would rise to the challenge of being a single independent mother, raise families by themselves, get a college education, and do it all by looking fierce as hell. For so many black men, this is threatening and they see it as usurping their authority.
The tables flipped and now they don’t know how to get back what they lost…oh well, we’ll leave that to them to figure out, since in my opinion, they are the ones that didn’t recognize a good thing when they had it.
Batubo: Hon. Bala Ibn Na’Allah from Kebbi State argued that "nothing was wrong in sacrificing 20 million people to protect over 150 million people." A statement by a member of the Nigerian National Assembly" said this morning
we can do away with 20 million Niger deltans' The words of Alhaji Bala N'allah,member of the house of reps. with regards to the attack by the JTF on the Nigerdelta region.
not his fault he is used to living with cattles and flies he doesnt know what human beings look like
Ibime: He's just saying what many are thinking.
sadly true and som one wants to know why we have more hausas in the army?
Sammy107_d: I believe the statement caused a stir in the house; he was made to apologize and take back the statement.
Truequest: Police hunting for a New Zealand couple who allegedly fled the country after a bank mistakenly paid them $NZ10 million ($6 million) believe they traveled to Hong Kong.
New Zealand authorities have sought help from Interpol in locating the couple who disappeared May 7, two days after an employee error at Westpac bank paid them 100 times the amount they asked for.
TVNZ, a CNN television affiliate, named the couple as Leo Gao and his girlfriend Cara Young. Gao owned a gas station in Rotorua, a lakeside tourist town famous for its hot water springs and bubbling mud pools.
Police said Friday that the couple were believed to have traveled to Hong Kong.
"Enquiries to locate those individuals are continuing through Interpol in Hong Kong and official channels in Beijing," said Detective Senior Sergeant David Harvey. Watch as 'millionaires' go on the run »
Police were not confirming the identities of those involved but they were working with the family of one of the individuals named in the media, Harvey said.
The family were shocked at their name being associated with the case, he added.
TVNZ said the couple applied for an overdraft from Westpac worth up to NZ$100,000 ($61,000).
However, on or about May 5, the bank erroneously put NZ$10 million ($6.1 million) into their bank account. What would you do in this situation?
The next day, the gas station closed its doors. And the day after, the couple went missing.
TVNZ said Westpac had confirmed that a customer had attempted to unlawfully transfer amounts totaling around NZ$6.7 million ($4.1 million). Nearly NZ$3 million ($1.85 million) had been recovered and the bank was continuing to vigorously pursue the outstanding amount, Westpac Media relations manager Craig Dowling told the station
texazzpete: So expressing my own opinion = hatred of people, abi? If i was the Army chief, the Nigerian army would be a lot more professional than it is. And i too would have dealt decisively with this latest affront from the millitants. What other choice would i have, with millitants killing JTF forces just out doing their job. Do you think these dead JTF don't have families? or loved ones?
Even when CNN was reporting on the war in Sri Lanka, they made sure they inserted a disclaimer to any news from the warfront, stating the sources and the possibility of the information being tainted with propaganda. Here i see people swallowing EVERY report from the MEND propaganda machine with reckless abandon. It's always a good call to confirm from unimpeachable sources before screaming genocide.
I tried to make a point that the people of the area have not done enough to hold their leaders responsible and accountable for the lack of development, and you respond with this?!! You truly disappoint me.
oga where are you from and how do you hold your leaders accountable in your area of naija?
udezue: The last time I checked Edo produces no drop of oil. Am I wrong? [size=38pt]VERY WRONG[/size]
You people sit in your areas and begin to let your fingers run riot like you know everything
bsanya: same thing is applicable 2 me This guy keep coming and they wont let us go because they knew we are 4rm a good home, we are best cook , we are responsible and all other qualities we cant mention. And they know if they miss us they wont get a good and responsible lady to get married to. ALL THE LADIES IN DA HOUSE KEEP UP UR GOOD BEHAVIOUR
[size=18pt]and the choir said[/size] [size=48pt]AMEN[/size]
JustGood: I'm sorry to say this. . . but this is the worst way of looking at anything in life. Brandishing the name of one (or few) person who seems to have made something of her life out of the several hundreds of thousands whose lives are nothing to write home about smirks of encouraging the wrong attitude.
Its just the same thing you get when one success story os brought out in a bid to prove that growing up in social care is not bad. There are several child who grew up in social care and are now being recycled through the criminal system but social officers always find one that can speak well, dress him/her up for TV and try to make people believe what is not true.
oops, your point (and mine too) actually has nothing to do with the title of the thread.
just good you are so right on this one. for this one fellow there are thousands regreting being born.
ramonacee: nothins wrong in our doin that. as for me the guy would do all tho se for me. gets the beautiful ring, at a very romantic location,go on his kneels, and beg me to marry him! i talk my own be that.
and you say you be romancee na wao. for this jet age?
it is not as bad as it seems. just a small matter of saying when will you marry me will always get you to the altar faster than you know.
Yet even in Nigeria there are women who move out of a rich man's house rather than continue being in a polygamic relationship.
Yes, it happens.
and if your boyfriend's other wives decide to take you on, its on. You'll bear the scars for the rest of your life.
it is very sad to say this. these people and our people are 2 different people in mind set. that is where the wahala is coming from. i know they have their own sets of players you know they are not in the nigerian league.
they are so trusting it is almost to the gulible and vulnerable wich is good if you are truthfull. our people need deliverance big time. i cant believe the bad names they give us just to get in between a womans leg or green card.
redgalusa: This is not a polygamous relationship. There are Nigerian men in the U.S who have two Nigerian wives. They live in separate households, however, they are both wives. This is nothing knew nor is it a revelation. The fact is that it is taboo to speak of those things.
My situation is very different. The Naija lady claims to be this man's wife. She lives in Nigeria and has waited six years for him to fulfill his promise. His paperwork is fine. He is a citizen, he has brought his two brothers here. I do not believe her, I know the game and manipulation is at the core.
[size=18pt]If she was truly his wife he would have brought her to America[/size].
not true. coming from naija to USA is not like going from NJ to GA plus if you where him would you move another woman in knowing there is one on the groung. he must have told you he was born in the night i dont believe he said he was born yesternight. with some of our boys it is the more you look the less you see.
as someone said dont go bringing a child in yet please i beg you.
babasoty: you should have been bold enough to tell us your tribe maybe then we would have known if your state is also not affected by the mentality of every governor wanting to loot his state treasury, for the ijaws hailing alamco, its better for a house thief to steal your money than a foreigner to. no one said mend is fighting for the niger deltans but due to the inefficiencies of both the federal and state government mend came to being and for the huge sums you claim oil firms pay in taxes please you better check the revenue sharing formula again, then you would know the federal government gets the highest share which they use to develop your place before the people that actually produce the oil, would you compare what alams stole to what babangida, abacha and their cohorts carted away or even obasanjo, if the federal government doesn't work quickly to ameliorate the plight of the niger deltans expect more criminal gangs who would wanna fight in the name of the niger delta people, the fact that an organization like mend exists should be a wake up call to the nigerian state that something is definitely wrong in the delta and please its not only the activities of mend that drives away foreign investments in nigeria, the activities of the yoruba masterminded 419 or yahozee and the igbo dominated armed robbery and 419 too has left a sour taste in the nigerian psyche, our re branding nigeria isn't because of mend and its activities but because of these funny traits not found in the niger delta region, you can go on and say niger deltans are lazy good, but what causes a man to want to defraud another man if not laziness and greed. what of armed robbery and ritual killing would u say thats the handiwork of a hardworking person, and for hizbollah and hamas thats one funny line. those organizations were formed out of the same needs like mend even if mend did derail, hezbollah has also derailed killing innocent israelis what about the tamil tigers, do you know they invented the suicide bombing what can justify that, do you know they murdered a great man live rajiv ghandi and use innocent civilians as human shields as for hamas please lets not talk about their criminality, all these organization too promote crime as a means to get more weapons and fund to achieve their goal, not that i justify kidnappings but tings have been going wrong in the niger delta and the government has been keeping a blind eye, the creation of mend is what happens when you let illegality run amok and deprivation run riot
the sad fact is most of you have never left the comfort of places like port harcourt and warri to the interiors to see what your so called federal govt. reduced these places to.
it is so easy to sit behind computers and talk tribalistic "ijaw man sold his job to ibo man for 40k" " they are all lazy" talk. why did ibo man go there with his 40k in the first place or is that beyond asking on NL?
your tribes are suddenly the only hard working tribes in nigeria.
if you are not tribalistic and complacent you should be shouting [size=18pt]not in my name[/size] from your roof top because majority have benefited from tribalistic injustice too long.
we are not the only nation blessed with mineral resources we are however champions at foolishness turning blessings into curses.
world oil prices is going down, the west is quietly looking for alternative source of energy the foolish theives that are your tribal elders have not addressed how they willl survive you lot are here justifying evil. shame on nigeria on a day like this.
chiozor: sometime it baffles me the way Nigerians talk and reason. first what about the billions of naira which the respective state Government has been given, what have they done with it. these communities have senators and reps and have constutiency projects allocation, what have they done with it. if they have started any project with it, the government can then come in, we have NDDC, we have Niger-Delta Ministry, you have taxes from multinationals, what else do you want, if these billions are not there to develop the communities. the problem ND have is on their superiors not the Govt. what have they being able to achieve with the little they have before you talk of big ones. these guys has really taken more than enough and need to be given a big whip, they have lsot the public sympathy of Nigerian.
when war and violence erupt in your backyards because you justified it in others backyards i hope you feel what these helpless people are feeling now because you people are tribal.
i never knew i would see a day an ibo man having lived through one war can justify any war. obviously being nigerian is never learning.
Lagosboy: People that say we can achieve a real nigeria without the eventual use of violence will forever live in dream land. What do you do too a shelling tank wave at it. Election will forever be manipulated and soldiers put on the street to kill protesters.
The use of violence when neccessary is part of life and nature , we should not be over moral in this regard. If a thief comes into your house and attempts to rape your wife and mother and you find yourself in a position to kill the thief , would you not do it? or you will forever bury your head in shame and be a celeberity coward.
If you are been bullied by someone and he beats the hell out of you , will you watch him kill you? , for goodness sake there is something we call self defence. Nigerians have to rise up to an organised revoution targeted at the elite ruling class and not innocent people. The concept of organisation and how to go about that is a different subject entirely. I am just trying to establish the first fact that we need something of this nature.
The perpetrators of evil will forever terrorise us and trample on our intelligence. Nigeria is no ukraine and any talk of orange revolution is a mirage!!! the perpetrators of evil know the psyche of nigerians shout for two days and it is all over. Politicians go to courts, courts deliver judgements election are rigged again , politicians go to court again and by the time judgement is delivered again incumbent has completed 4 years of stolen mandate. This is just crazy, electoral reform is what every single person is singing but the powers that be are insulting the intelligence of our people. The uwais report is not been implemented.
Oh shame , oh shame, oh shame
When every peaceful negotiation or resolution has been made impossible violence is inevitable.
The "beacon" of demcoracy understand this language and their Military is the largest funded in the world. The US is a product of revoltuion, France is, and a host of other countries.
The perpetrators of evil need to be exterminated to the abyss of extinction!!!!!!!
i trust u to come up with thins like this. personally, if you line up shagari, IBB, OBJ, buhari plus their clicks, emrs and obas and their families i will let you pull the trigger.
there is a lot wrong with nigeria but spilling innocent blood is not the cure. there are enough blood crying out loud against nigeria from the earth. do it nepal or romania style.
Phemour: I wont die for Nigeria coz no one can die for me to live!
i dont believe nigeria is a country worth dying for because we as a people are not ready to change. almost everyone is wired towards criminality sadly the more religious are the more evil so where is the redemption?.
ThinkRait: If texazzpete was the Army chief, he'd have bombed out the entire Niger Delta. He knows what the issues are, but his hatred for people prevents him from thinking constructively. Alams stole billions, Saminu Turaki stole billions, Joshua Dariye stole billions, Abacha stole trillions. Corruption is not a Niger Delta thing, it is a Nigerian thing.
I'm not in support of militancy neither am I in support of military brutality.
Lets think like human beings PLEASE.
nigerians never learn. winning war is very easy it is winning peace we should be working on. the same people who violently rig elections all over nigeria sending in the army
who is nigerian army idiot i heard on the bbc saying he wants the body of his soldiers back at all cost. these same fools didnt volunteer to keep barkasi for us at all cost.
we are trying to right one injustice with another injustice. killing ken saro wiwa didnt stop instead it aggreviated the issue. let watch and see who writes the last chapter of this book.
camelot: theres noffing wrong in marrying single mother cus of their experience they become more wiser not wanting to jeopardize their second marrige
seeing the second chance as last therefore making all effort to make it work.
i wish you were right. sadly people in this category stand a better chance of failing in relationships. if you waz right it would have beeen brilliant sadly you are wrong .
T@meD0: hmm, interesting perspective. i never saw it that way.
so, what you're saying is that these women will do everything possible to make the marriage work even if there's infidelity in the marriage?
if that's true then maybe i should find me a single mother to marry and maybe, just maybe i might be able to get away with infidelity since i now know she's wiser and would do anything (enduring my infidelity crap) to make the marriage work.
i read this online " When You Are On The Backside Of The Desert!"
One of the hardest things that we Christians have trouble with is “waiting.” Almost every Christian will face a long time of tribulation. Look at Christians in countries where Christianity is outlawed and they literally live in times of trial for their entire lives. In this monograph, I want to look at some principles found in Scripture which can help us endure those long times of testing that we must go through. Believe me, I am writing this piece not only to help others, but for myself also as I too am presently facing one of those seemingly endless times of adversity where Heaven seems to be silent concerning my life. I think you know what I am speaking about. Sometimes we just need a spiritual boost to get us back on line. I am sure Moses had many questions when his ten years turned into twenty which turned in to thirty which turned into forty and finally he was given his commission. Let us turn to the Scriptures to see if we can glean a little insight into the relationship between God and His children who are in the midst of a long period of adversity.
God plans all your adversity (Prov 17:3 KJV) The fining pot is for silver, and the furnace for gold: but the LORD trieth the hearts.
If there is one thing we Christians must stop doing and that is blaming Satan every time a little bit of adversity comes into our life. Normally, when we face a long time of tribulation, the results is that our life is better off because of the lessons we learn. Satan would never do anything that would better the lives of the believers. God engineers every circumstance in our life and He knows how to tailor them to each individual He tests. Satan’s part in all this is to get you to lose faith. He wants to get you to the point of accusing God of toying with you, forsaking you, forgetting you, and to try and get you to make decisions which are contrary to the Scriptures. If we listen to Satan, then the status of our testing may then be transformed into a time of hard times to bring us back to God, and then the plans that God has for you will continue. What am I saying? If we listen to Satan, then the time of testing will include time in the woodshed, which means we will be in our situation a lot longer. It is never to our advantage to believe anything that denigrates the character of God in any way. If you are beginning to have any aberrant beliefs about God in your hard times, then hurry up and check them out in Scripture. You will, not might, encounter a satanic attack, in fact, if you are in a situation of adversity for some length of time, you can expect many attacks. He will also time his attacks, not at the beginning of your ordeal but as you get into it for a long time and it starts wearing you down. He will then attack with all his false allegations against God concerning you. One thing that he does, is, he will bring to mind another Christian that you personally know who never seems to go through any adversity. He will then try to make you envious of that Christian. If he can combine jealousy with false accusations, he will intensify his attack on you ten-fold. Our sovereign God plans every phase of our life and once we grasp that fact, we will be able to endure long trials, knowing God is in control.
AND I WANT YOU ALL TO KNOW THAT YOU HAVE CONTRIBUTED IN HEALING MY WOUND WITH YOUR REPLY
AM SO GRATEFUL
I will put my trust in the Lord and i know he will give me strength and wisdom to pass thru this
i pray that no one will pass tru this cos it hurts
@topup @JJYOU thanks for your reply
i thank you for making a right choice becos Jesus never fails. no one is big enough to take your future he has wasted enough let him go and face your life with God. i have been here some yrs ago. a very good friend did it for that matter. God heals and reward.
just yesterday i heard my mrs watching PASTOR KIMBERLY RAY preached TRIED IN THE FIRE, BUT I'M COMING OUT online i got blesed listening to her preach.
as christians we do get pressed on every side and almost feel abandoned but we are never forsaken. God is always with us cos paul said But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us (2 Cor. 4:7). relax God is with you.
God does whatever it takes to make the christian fulfill his or her will. if pushing him away is all he takes that is exactly what He does. it hurts but eventually you will be thankfull
God bless and keep you.
topup: [color=#008855]Thanks a bunch. Don't underestimate yourself.
I have my suspicions about Kola too, but I don't have enough information to confirm them. [/color]
nothing surprise me. experience taught me people dont get away with this kind of things. imagine a young girl paying school fees for another student and someone say she brought it on herself. if ever doing good was wrong we are all doomed.
but we know better that is right living. that is the gospel we know. i know a little of God and that He is always near people who have broken heart and He is a rewarder too.
Kobojunkie: I think the problem here is we are still trying to change the ruling party. We have FAILED AT THAT FOR DECADES NOW, why Change the ruling party? Why not start by Changing the people and then the people can, as a whole, push to change the ruling party? As long Nigerians remain complacent, the ruling party will continue to thrive.
you have a point but how do you go about changing the masses whose only ambition is to join the ruling looters party?
not until you make an example of what happens to the rulling idiots will some people learn. ghana had this shamelessness in looting until rawlings and his team sanitised the place. sadly he forgot his mission too and became another african politician.
biola44: @haley: i feel ur pain, but shit happens n u brought this upon urself @NLS: wat av noticed abt relationships btw same n opp sex is dat goin out of ur way to please pple is no assurance of them doing the same, only makes them take advantage of u in most cases. so dont do favours expecting anything in return(in any r/s), if u must let it be of a free will, so u dont regret in anyway, i'm just trying to say the best thing is to satisfy ur conscience n dont add to pple's problems while being careful also, try to balance things
you dont get it do you?. you definately carry one of the most twisted nigerian mind around here. i bet you do this kind of things to women and you call yourself a man. you are most definately one of those confused SHEHE's. they didnt teach you it is your responsibility to be nice and kind to people who go out of their way to do you favours. if this kola idot die young or any terrible thing happens to him you and your types are likely to say his wife is a bad head.
kola definately is enjoying another woman banking salary at the moment who knows what he will do when the banking salary stops. will you be here saying she brought it on herself?. wish you luck becos you will definately need it with this ugly mind you carry. brought it on yourself indeed.
topup: [color=#008855]Hi Haley,
Your post really touched me, it's such a shame that stuff like this happens in the world. One part of me is happy that you two didn't marry because who knows what the real deal was with him, and I am definitely sure you deserve better. You have not mentioned what made him special, but the post instead outlined how special you yourself are. You really are a gem, and with so much devotion, you just need to find the right guy.
I wouldn't say that you were naive, I would say that you were very faithful and loving which is what many guys are complaining of the lack of.
I've just said a quick prayer for you now because I believe God is with you. Just keep faith in the only being who will NEVER let you down.
You will gain so much strength and wisdom from this, trust me, the most painful situations in our life are tests.
Maybe KOLA would have cheated on you or defiled your marriage some way or the other.
Yes God is the judge and if he cheated you and lied then rest assure it is not your battle to fight. Just focus on you, because right now you matter so much. Don't let him have the power, God has the power (not KOLA), try not to wish anything bad against him, it will take a lot of time to accept that you aren't going to marry him, but the sooner you do, you should start seeing all the things you've escaped.
I mean did Kola have any bad traits?? I mean when you argued, did he apologise?? Who knows maybe it was God telling Kola not to marry you, maybe now you have a chance to be with someone who will respect you and you won't have to be the one on your knees all the time. He'll take what you have and give equally, what he has, you will both have, he will apologise for the fact you're apologising, you won't have any serious arguments, you will be happy and know the true value of love, he will value you and know your value.
All the best for the future and God Bless. [/color]
TOPS as usual. kola is another ugly rumour naija boy. lying, deceitfull and praying to get away with murder.
Ifedisky: Really TOPPED UP. You got style mate. @post. Dust your self and stand up. Your life didn't start with him so WON'T end without him. God bless
most definately. always a breathe of fresh air on NL. one of the most brilliant young minds we have.
nobody told me that road would be easy i dont beleive i made it this far my whole life and i've been working so hard and i know nobody told me that the road would be easy i cant beleive i made it this far
haley: at this junction with all the reply coming in now , i dont know how to defend myself on my kind gesture to kola
i want all those that are critizising me to know that all i did , did out of the love i had for him
i did not do all this just because he promised to marry me
at least i wasnt a kid when all this happened
i knew what i want and i went for it
i neva knew it would turn out this way
pls stop condeming me ,
i ve had enough for the past one month now after getting to know about his marriage
are u new to NL? just move on with your life. he is a jerk and a looser. whatever he has taken out of your life you dont want to give him another do you?
like i said earlier this is the nigerian factor. you cant bank most people words.
Jokes Etc › Re: Letter To Nepa & Sundry Jokes. . . by JJYOU: 4:14pm On May 22, 2009
