₦airaland Forum

spoilt:
Long distance marriage is a bitch. There is no way out. Two different points of view.Two different situations. God have mercy.

This is exactly the key here.
She either seeks divorce or she goes back to the arms of her husband. Whatever the inadequacies of the guy, he still remains her husband and I dont think the marriage was premised upon their living so many miles apart.

What is the point of marriage if you're not together and you are not going to be able to see each other for several years? A lot of people are talking about jobs. So if the job is more important than the husband, she should seek divorce.

Instead of concentrating ur mind on sex, why not think about better things to edify you. You see man begin think of sex.
if ur mind no dey filthy u for no think about sex when u see man wearing shorts. na the filth wey full ya mind dey come out when u see man for shorts

make u lef dis women alone jare
How I go marry woman wey get pikin b4. if she day responsible she 4 dey wit her pikin papa. who wan marry irresponsible woman wey no day think of her pikin.
in fact as dem dey here so make boys just careful not to fall 4 dis kind women 4 dis place o. Una go see pepper if una want marry dis kind women wey day think like this.

sorry donnie, I am yet to see any significant contribution towards stopping the devil's work in Nigeria. abi na TV miracles be the fruits wey Bible say make we manifest?
All the people wey dey go church for TV miracles go comot there and collect bribes the next day.
Meshionu biko

spikedcylinder:
Abegiiii comot!!! Na that one them dey talk? So when a girl looks at a guy and admires him, she lacks dignity?? Grow up will you? How many women have YOU worshipped? So each time you pass a fine woman on the streets, you either A) Whistle past her like you didnt notice her beauty or B) Fall down on your knees and worship her? Abeg leave tori for theater.

@ snazzydawn, i have always concurred with your POVs, oggle on girl! No mind them.

I dont know what you find difficult to understand here

If we start seeing you as people who are lusting after every topless male body, you're likely to lose a lot of the respect we have for you.

Or maybe you're more interested in lusting after male bodies than commanding and enjoying the respect of other human beings
Not that I am in a position to stop you doing whatever suits you so please go ahead and do what you have to do. In some years, the result will be seen by all

Plenty women for Nairaland don commit in the past and e be like say many of dem don get pikin wey papa no gree take. dat's why dem dey say e good to marry woman wey born pikin b4
make young guys shine dem eyes make dem no go fall for deception of the woman wey don born for anoda man b4 o. Dat one na d 1st comma for ur marriage because the pikin no be ya own and e no go easy to dey train anoda man pikin.

If the woman na betta woman, d papa of the first pikin for still dey with am

yinkausa:
justdumb, i am educated, registered nurse. i am very happy , no regret.

your level of education is very obvious, isn't it?

Maybe girls should start grabbing men whenever they are attracted to their bodies.

Next time you are attracted to a guy who's topless, just start touching him. I dont think there'll be much protestation; one of you will leave with a feeling of accomplishment and the other will leave with a feeling of being nothing but a rag.

My point is that ladies are supposed to carry themselves with dignity; that's why we almost always worship women and we love them so much. If we start seeing you as people who are lusting after every topless male body, you're likely to lose a lot of the respect we have for you.

I no fit marry single mother o. Plenty girls dey town.
Why should a young man be the one to marry a single mother with all the attachments? make she sef go find single father to marry

If the US is actually involved, all of the allegations and claims will come to nought. No one will be able to find any evidence.

No be today CIA don dey go kill people inside and outside America with great cover-ups

yinkausa:
@justdumb, you must be one of those ignorant man. it is ok to express how i fell, weather married to naija, oyinbo, arab, it does not matter , what matter is women should be treated with respect in any race, any nationality. when a woman is doing well or making more money, or have her own business , it can be intimidating. i know people here that are very happily married and the one that left there wife for another woman because they have there own business, i have seen them all. they are married legally with the family involve in there marriage and the marriage went down the drain. it is just not meant to be, marriage is not garantee. pray for your soulmate. i know people here that got married second time and they are happily married with no problem because the man change his attitude about women. i did not regret been married before because maybe it is not meant to be. i am not here looking, i am here to read about what is going on in nigerian community, i have been gone from home 12yrs never visited. justdumb don't like the true, they said the truth is bitter but i will say what i feel. god bless american, there is freedom of speech. this place is for people to communicate and express there feelings not to make enemy.

First thing is that you need to get an English teacher now that you are in America.

Secondly, you can take your bitterness away. There are many women married happily to 9ja men and they wont touch any other nationality for anything. You should addrsss your personal problems before pointing at other people as reasons for your failure to have a settled home.

no be yinka say she don marry arab abi na oyinbo before? you come dey complain about 9ja boys. carry comot jare. where your former husband now?

when una don finish una lives with all those men, una no still fit complain about them but una go dey come run mouth for 9ja guys. Make una go follow the good men o

which kind name be sheniqua? That one get meaning?

komekn:
Liverpool is a port city in times past it was major gateway for commerce, indeed the once NNSL( Nigerian national shipping line) had offices here even a housing estate. Unfortunately a lot of these sailors had relationships that brought children into being which they abandoned and left to go back home to Nigeria.

Not the kind of relationships that should ever lead to anyone having a child.

oyb wrote

let me answer your question , since you are too dumb to read between the lines:

only a loser will insist that his spouse leave a paid job to come home to join him in unemployment. what sort of thinking is that?

does he even love his wife? he's busy giving ultimatums -

it is the husband you should be challenging - he is the one who decided to leave - probably because his ego cannot take the fact that his wife has become with the defacto breadwinner .

you have to be completely stupid to believe that love and marriage is all about how much money a couple have available to them

you are even dafter to ask if he loves his wife. a man marries a woman and want her with him and you say it's wrong for him to desire to have his wife with him. Do you have any brain at all?

Every partner in a couple has the right to demand certain things of their relationship and one of the main things in every relationshsip is companionship. what kind of companionship exists when the wife is in Ireland for several years without seeing the husband?
It's a no brainer but you're obviously too daft too see that

African Americans also donate money to those African charities.

Nonsense. Please you all should keep your money to yourselves. How many people in Africa have come to you to ask for money?

I even personally know an African American that sponsored a boy from kenya with the 50 cents thing.

Get ta feck with your patronising attititude; go and find kwenyans if they're pleading with you for money to feed

African Americans go to Africa to do missionary work and try to provide books and electricity and clean water to Africans

Please keep your missionary work to yourselves and stop coming to brainwash us

oyb:
if you could use the pea you call a brain, you would decipher what the poster has written. since you can't, i will break it down for you

this implies that the husband's 'dry period' is roughly five years

the woman is the SOLE provider in the family


this indicates that , for the sake of foolish pride, the man wants her to leave employment for uncertainty. if the husband had a job and was paying some of the bills he might be entitled to start complaining. are you thinking at all? when she comes home, as per his orders, will the bills house rent, children's school fees, etc pay for themselves?

the man is a proud fool taking advantage of the typical african sitauation. he's fed up with a distance marraiage. i wonder why he isn't issuing ultimatums to the employers who are spurning him

I am glad I have a pea of a brain. You did not answer any of my questions: what happened to your mountain-sized that you did not address what I posted?

If you are married and have any brain, you'll have enough intelligence to know that responsible people dont just decide to ditch marriages.

blacklion:
No. An English proverb says a good wife should be a lady in public and a LovePeddler in the bedroom. Go figure.

that is definitely not a Nigerian proverb. i dont want my wife to be a LovePeddler ANYWHERE

what is there to figure? or are we to accept whatever is the English way of doing things?

oyb:
abegi, she should leave her loser husband.

misery loves company

are you male or female? are you married?

So her husband has become a loser because he is unemployed? the same husband she saw and decided to get married to? has he suddenly become a loser because she is fortunate enough to get to a place where she has a job and some level of comfort?

abeg make we dey use brain o

Gamine:
Thats what im saying.

IF parents would realise that It isnt just about them
They would live in Love.

i Still don't understand how two people, who Genuinely loved themselves
with flaws and all, Would end up hating themselves so much so as to Divorce

i don't geddit, what kind of problem arises that can't be solved

Then Again, i guess im still on Planet Earth and its sad

My sister, you cant understand it because you are a good girl with a good background and upbringing. I pray you never understand it the way many of those women understand it.

It is that understanding which makes a lot of men and women think they are being smart and wise when they decide to go away and leave their sworn partners.

may that never be your portion in Jesus' name.

Those people dont know what it means to go through difficult times and emerge victorious. They think marriages should be what they see in their movies

mamaput:
women are waking up and are not ready to accept all nonsense from men.
tank god for small mercies

Thank the devil for iya ndagbes ill advising young girls in the society

It's easy to see why many marriages dont work

Unless a woman accepts that she has to be submissive as a support for her husband and the husband decides to love his wife unconditionally, it will be one problem after the other and one marriage after the other.

After I got married, we had problems at the initial stage because we both had ideas which were not workable. But for the grace of God, we would have parted ways. We had our parents and other elders who counselled us and told us that it was normal for us to have such disagreements at the start.

We both had to come to a realisation of the fact that we had seperate responsibilities in the household and my wife learn to be submissive. She's enjoying the fruits now

hmmmmmmmmmm

many women are unmarried, serially married, divorced etc because of this reason.

My wife is educated but she was brought up to have respect for me as the head of the house. I am not her boss but I am the head of the family and she respects that and she is submissive: I love my wife to bits and would never wish for anyone of those 'wise' women.

I dont really like Trevor Phillips. He is a man afrain to cross Government lines because he is a Goverment appointee and a member of the labour party who toes party lines at every turn.

Gamine:
For where!

The shouldnt raise any kids

Since they are Anti-Creationist

what are they looking for kids For

what will they teach them!!

i am sorry for any child that finds him/herself in that kind of house!!!!

Absolutely!!!

Since they chose to have horrible sexual tendencies which will not help produce babies, why do they want babies?

Or how do they think kids will get to this world if every human being was as twisted as them?

abanna:
Hi,

d Church has a role plan not only spiritually but in EDUCATION. Education goes with discipline, morals,etc.
I will like 2 warn dt u mind d way u talk about churches n men of God 2 avoid God's wrath.
4 those who invade Churches in d name of CAREER ROBBERS have curse= DEATH as dr portion.No man steals in God's house n go free whether police catch them or not they must pay.
Again, them no dey write thief 4 face.CU admits students 2 study so if dy on dr own choose 2 steal n kill then , they must face d music.
I WISH THEM WEL IN HELL

HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOO wake up please.

What about those who use deceptive means to steal from poor Nigerians?

Many well educated and well bred women are 2nd/3rd4th/5th wives so anyone who says only illiterates and never do wells practice it should think again. They are also from both mainstream religious backgrounds.

It is about what everyone believes is good for him/her as an individual. BTW, we should be clamouring for individual freedom and liberty. So if someone decides to go into polygamy, they'll live with the consequences- positive or negative.

I'm sure there are advantages to it and there are disadvantages just like there are to every other thing and practice.

bawomolo:
prostitution is an harmful trade. freethinking isn't. do u idi amin's think at all.

who says prostitution is harmful and freethinking isn't? Is prostitution not also about freethinking?

do you westerner wannabes think at all?

Sweetie007:
Hello Lucieo,

I am just browsing about nigerian men because i happened to have a chatmate from Yoruban tribe of Nigeria. I became interested in you upon reading all the info about your nigerian fiance. I am just curious because some of the details u said corresponds to the person i am chatting with now. Are u still in contact with that african man? Do u have pictures of him? If you have can u send it to me. I am not concluding that he may be the same person i met but i just want to make sure and clear my doubting minds now. Thanks.

A chatmate says it all, doesn't it?