₦airaland Forum

Just send picture of you and her to him



That will open the discussion



Do that please, don't postpone the evil day as those F Monikas are suggesting

Kobojunkie:
From the story you told, men telling stories is not going to resolve anything. In your friend's case, what would work better is if he and his wife shared the load. If he babysat the kid she did some of the running around, then they can both be exposed to all aspects of the experience and have less complaints.

It isn't just men putting women on some imaginary pedestal but also men putting themselves on a pedestal as well.

He should babysit or what did I read ?
I understand some issue requires action not discussion with women.

The only disability in life is bad character, bad attitude ruined that marriage.


On that thread one lady even said washing machine is not luxury....and I was like ?


I think to a very large extend men are the problem, we put women on the pedestal too much......making thing easy for them.


My colleague wife said something one day and since then, I always gist my wife about the stress at my work place.

Their child was sick and was admitted at the hospital, the mother (my colleague's wife) was by his sick bed taking care of him while the husband my colleagues sleeps in his car at the hospital. They were at the hospital for two weeks.

I drove my wife to the hospital for check up, i was bored waiting in the car and decided to stroll around, then i ran into the guy (my colleague) looking somehow rough and I asked him what up with him, he narrated his ordeal and that he was heading to the pharmacy to buy the newly prescribed drugs, I followed him to the pharmacy and then to the children ward. I met the wife trying to feed the boy and greeted her and was trying to commend both of them......then the wife said something that struck me; she said he (her husband) does not know how it feel to take care of a sick baby and sleeping in the ward for days, shebi all he does is to bring the money

I was like without the money, would you be here in the first place ? And who is sacrificing more, he has been sleeping in the car, running around to buy this and that, and you think you love the baby more than him ?

Well, they were discharged from the hospital and me and my wife went to their apartment to check on them, while we were charting outside, I noticed his front bumper was painted and I asked him what happened, he said that night they were rushing the child to the hospital, he hit a car ahead of them, the driver of the vehicle came down and was shouting but when he came down, begged the man and explained why he drove so reckless was because his child is dieing in the car and he was rushing him to the teaching hospital. He said the driver peeped into their car, saw his wife and the sick boy in the front seat and let them go.

I think its high time men start telling their own story as well.

It not easy to be a man!

Acidosis:
Revealing...but!

...Can we also get the view of single women in their 50s who had the opportunity to get married to a good man but declined due to ego, career, or other reasons?

There is something about humans that always makes us feel that we could have been a better person if...

You see, the "if" factor is not peculiar to women per se. Relocate me from Nigeria to the U.K in 2021. By 2050, I may begin to ask what "if I had gone to Canada?"

Human wants will forever be insatiable. Married women should not begin to share tales about how they would have lived a better life if it hadn't been for marriage when there are no proofs anywhere that single women in their 60s (with no marriage experience) lived a better/ fulfilled life devoid of regrets.

Life

Whoever brainwashed female that they can have it all, at the same times and at all times is the issue.

The selfishness of female is on a different level in this generation......the older generation are more contentment and wiser. they know which is better deal between sticking to family or career and being mischievous.

It a fact that life is a crazy ride and tricky.....the most interesting part of life is; at old age, thats when the area you failed becomes obvious.......and no one would be without regret at that stage........the only consolation is in the area you performed best along the journey.

Nigeria security's modus operandi of placing guns/ammunition on people after killing or arrest....


What does that mean ?
Thats a staged battle scene.......

Custom, immigration and DSS personnel and not Airport staff.

He should know the difference.

yodiyokun:
This is a conflict that every woman has to settle in her heart.

After 11 years of marriage, birth of two kids, 18 years in the financial industry both home and abroad, I can say that I am yet to resolve this conflict.

Its a conflict I have to deal with everyday, a conflict of purpose. Even if you didn't start out chasing marriage to become a "leech", things may change along the way.

I was focused on my banking career for the first five years of working post-university. Then, I decided to find a husband and settle down because I realized that I didn't want to spend my life alone but not because I wanted to become someone's baby factory. I wanted a partner both intellectually, spiritually and morally.

However, after my children started school I realized that I want to be there for them. I want to help them with homework, spend productive time with them, to shape their world and pass on my values. It's very challenging to accomplish this in a country where you don't have family support or network and where there are conflicting values everywhere. If I had my way financially right now - I would choose to be a stay at home mom at least till my kids turn 16. I actually envy those women that can do this - it is admirable.

I have the potential to advance in my career, to pursue challenging opportunities, but right now I choose not to do so because it'll affect my family's welfare. I'll have to spend more time at work and less at home.
So since mid last year I have scaled back. Now, I try to leave the office on time everyday and no longer take work home. Why you ask - because my kids are getting older, they have more challenging homework, they need more assistance, they want more variety in their lunch bags, they want home made cookies and sweets. They want me to be a volunteer at their school. They want me to be present in their lives every day of the week not only on weekends.

As much as I'd like to return to school for a Msc., start a business, do much more with my abilities and self, I really do have to choose which is more important to me right now.

I have come to realize that women can have it all - but just not all things at the same time. Also, because of your family situtaion you many need to adjust your dreams.

So do not judge someone that decides to stay at home because you really do not know what going on in her home.

Also remember that staying at home doesn't mean that you are not contributing to the family - you may very well be the thread that binds the home together.

I wish the op read this and the larger society pushing and misleading the female gender with one-sided life is a bed of rose preposition ideas.

Experience is way the best determinant.

The talk down on gender roles is to aim at a dysfunctional, disoriented family life and by extension the society.....and it mostly affect boy child negatively meanwhile girl are been handed over power that might likely consume them and make them miserable in the end.

Reality of female/women is different from what feminist are propagating.

Why I don't support feminist is because they are pushing female beyond their limit and that is unfair and dangerous in the long run.

Lol circle of life.....the supposed corrupt leaders/politicians are somewhere, somehow coincidentally praying against his prayer too.

Even powerful pastors/imams/traditionalists are been paid handsomely to fast against his prayer.


Religion without covetousness is incomplete.

BlackPantherxXx:
I dont need your attention. Dullards dont interest me.

Get an education... Read the post and reply intelligently

Lol. Intelligent boy well done.

BlackPantherxXx:
No. You're just plain daft.

Give the phone to someone intelligent.

What are you saying ?

Read what you wrote again, do you think you deserve the attention I am giving to you ?

BlackPantherxXx:
Learn to read and comprehend.

I read comprehensively maybe you're deficient in concise writing skill......if in your mind what you meant is different from what you wrote.

BlackPantherxXx:
You are proud to say you sexually harassed a girl.

I pray you get to a developed country so that you would get appropriate hometraining.

Home training for erection ?

I understand but really ?

You should be grateful for making it this far instead

Most Nigerian based or bread abroad have annoying behavior and surprising not different from those bread in Nigeria. Most especially girls.....imagine a born, based, bread and schooled abroad then come to date a yahoo boy in Nigeria...got pregnant and make I no talk am finish..........amongst all the responsible guy coming forward for her.

One expects some level of self control, exposure and rational thought process from them but las las everybody na same

Worth to mention is there mostly control freak and an over sabi.

What they are good at are YouTube channel creation, how to operate iphone apps No Knowledge of different trending topics, fashion, no culture, no character, value just name it....the only difference na accent...........

Feminists should first comment on her act and art of comradeship


Then, I can comment my reserve.

The essenceless of this epistle and the one on the other thread is authored by the op are:

1) To forcefully educate men about the benefits of female with high body count.
2) men should not have preference.
3) men are wrong for having choice.
4) Men are wrong for having idea about promiscuous women
5) women are irresponsible
6) women are not capable of accountability
7) Men are wrong for talking and going for what is better them


This op is too aggressive and opinionated about issues she has very limited knowledge about and sadly has no control over.

EDGEof2MORO:
Women posting photos of themselves with and without makeup

You took it out of my mouth

What kind of talk is this ?

I guess the list is your criteria of your preference in men......if not you exhibit same attribute of the man you're about getting married to.


You don't have mind of your own and You're heartless as well

Pussywar:
You obviously cannot read.

Lol...and this concluded the topic...we all cannot read

Pussywar:
You overrate your importance. Whatever you call “irresponsible” is your personal problem, but you’ll not shame me for indulging in something as natural as sex because I’m a girl. Shame someone who thinks you’re something.

I'm not shaming you but you're already ashamed of your act.......and that is why the so call natural sex is a big deal to you.....if not how did shame get into this conversation ?

Pussywar:
It’s you who has equated high body count to cheating. It’s you who’s being illogical. From where to where? Please, assimilate my statement well before coming for me.

What is there in your statement to assimilate other than encouraging female to be irresponsible and unaccountable for the affair of there life........sensitive and sensible men won't be responsible of the irresponsibility of women....that the hard truth.

Pussywar:
Only men who objectify women shame them for having multiple sexual partners. It also stems from a place of insecurity, where they believe it’s harder to please a girl who has had multiple sexual partners. Whatever makes sense to them I guess.

Very funny and deceptive article and you added fire to further deceive the female gender.........it ticked the female ideology about life in general anyway and I think this is because female never really fully grasp the concept of commitment from men point of reasoning because they are at the receiving end of the material and emotional gains in a committed relationships....


The idea of men being insecure to justify promiscuity is funny, illogical and dangerous for women.


There is this case where a man caught his wife cheating on him, and he forgave her for only God know reason, then few months after the event, they got into an argument and the wife subtly told her husband; he is insecure in the marriage. That, that is why he poked nose into her activities that resulted in him finding out................

The statement infuriated the husband and led to there separation and finally to there divorce.

Toks2008:
Creating this thread has been on my mind for a long time but for some reasons I kept shelving it but after coming across a thread on front page about a 41 year old single lady asking for advise I think it is about time I drop this.

Now what you are about to read is for ladies who are still single in their late 30s and I will make it as simple and as real as possible...

You will never come across the advise I'm about to give you from pastors or many relationship experts but as many people already know me, I keep it as real as possible.

1. Understand that not everybody will get married:

Marriage is not a do or die thing... Marriage does not define who you are and you must never be bothered by what people say cos most of them are Clueless about the institution of marriage. Those who truly understand will never look down on you because you are single. Your happiness is more important than marriage.

2. Be financially independent: Any single lady in her late 30s should never make it a priority to get married cos the more you worry about it the more pressure you put on yourself and this is bad for your psych.

At this stage of your life, self actualization is what you need and trust me, by the time you make it a priority to get the best out of life, this will inadvertently gravitate men to you.

Before I give this third advise let me share this very touching story...

I remember a certain lady who contacted me about 6years ago and she said she has made up her mind to be a single mum if she turns 36 and she is still unmarried and asking me to be ready to donate sperm for her cos she sees me as a responsible guy... Furthermore, she will not put any pressure on me to be financially responsible for the child as she is well to do but she just want to have a child to avoid a situation where she will reach menopause and still childless.

Unfortunately she left this world before she could make this happen... So What is the point?

3. GET A SPERM DONOR TO BEAT EARLY MENOPAUSE.

The paramount purpose of a lady is not necessarily marriage but to multiply, bring forth new generations and replenish the earth. The good thing is that with the modern medical advancement, any lady can achieve this without getting married.

Believe it or not, it is better to get a sperm donor and be a single mum than getting married under pressure to a jerk who will make life hell for you.

If you are a lady still single in your late 30s please get a man to donate sperm for you. You don't have to sleep with him and he needs not be financially responsible for the child but just for you to point to somebody in future as the child's father. This will let you relax to get a better choice of a husband.

4. A man who will love you will love you.

Some may say once they are single mums, guys will run from them and YES I agree but this will also attract real men who understand that single motherhood is not a taboo but Infact a proof that a lady is fertile, a proof that she is responsible enough to keep a baby even when they had the choice to abort.. No genuine man will reject a lady cos she is a single mum especially if the child(ren) is her first.

5. And lastly as suggested by Pocohantas in the comment below... If you are open to polygamy, give it a shot.

According to her, as a lady gets older in Nigeria, it gets harder to see a never-been-married man with noble intentions. So if you don’t mind polygamy, if you just want to have your kids by one man, find one polygamous man and have all your kids with him.

All I wrote, this is an opinionated advise but any lady in this position could still decide to wait until she finds a husband but she must understand that whilst she is waiting, her time is ticking and menopause will definitely come regardless.

I hope this makes sense.

And you did not factored in the probability of having a deform child at such an old age...


Wahal no dey finish oo

Candidlady:
Took my time to go through the post and guess what? Yeah the were all males!

guess again who burstd "em? A she!

god please divide this world! Male world and female world! Make we see who go suffer

irest my briefCASE the thing don too heavy

modified:- i dedicate this ftc to all females out there, we won't end with this year ijn

Female bursted them...?

Where was that stated in the article ?

nameo:
Do you support that kinda treatment or not?

That people have always done a thing is immaterial in determining the rightness or otherwise of that thing.

I mean yoh sound educated so you should know this!!

Again, do YOU support it or not?

I'm saying the Alfa comment can be liking to President Bihari speaking against nepotism......

He should first own up first, desist from it and advise his colleagues......not boasting no one can beat his children like that while he beats other people's children.

Sterope:
You are still missing the point. There is nothing Islamic about that kind of beating. It is cultural.

From which culture ?

1) Yoruba.
2) Hausa.
3) Fulani.
4) Arab.

nameo:
What nonsense, non-committal comment is this?

So are you in support of the "various degree of dehumanizing" treatment as you described or Not??

I'm telling you this incident is not alien to anyone that have even attended Ile Kewu you're referring to the comment as nonsense.

Are you an hypocrite yourself ?

Nostring:
wetin dey work u up? He condemned the beating ,u dey rant ..if he didn't u go still rant...u dey ok?

I'm saying the reality not rant. List karratu (ile kewu) without corporal discipline...then I will show you a virgin prostitute.

Sterope:
Becoming a learned scholar used to be seen as an educational adventure, a lifelong one. Many of these people have gone outside Nigeria to study more especially in the famous Al-Azhar university which is also one of the oldest university in the world, if not the oldest. For example, I have an uncle who is well versed that he also writes academic books in Arabic usually on the subject of Islam in relation to other matters. He didn't attend any university though.

Therefore it is expected that like everything on this earth, it will be abused especially where there is less scrutiny and accountability. Also, we live in a country where corporal punishment even when they border on torture used to be accepted. A popular Yoruba adage is ' Ma na we bi kuku' meaning 'I will beat you almost to the point of death'. Many of these Islamic schools are also run by very old men or people whose experience mirror the same.

Nowdays, there are Islamic schools that barely use corporal punishments. You shouldn't be tagging anyone a hypocrite. You don't know what is going on in his mind.

I know and understand your point. many practicing Muslim are now embracing western ideal......however sunna still override all other things......Hence my submission.

But if you re insinuating that Islamic doctrines and beliefs are old..........

Hypocrite! Is there any Ile Kewu that doesn't engage their pupil in various degree of dehumanizing disciplines ?....from hawking for eleha to all manner of chores......


One advantage of social media I don't like is, it has become a platform that enable people to live a double life and practice double standard.


It has also become a controlling tool as well. Anyone can now impose an unwarranted pressure on others to conform with an unwritten social structures standard.

This claim by female is sickening.......I once asked my boss the gain in sending a female child to school and the advantage of employing and given them roles.

When it comes to intelligence, you can't compare women and men though....this difference is large.......

If I narrate what happened between me and my very intelligent wife yesterday ehn! You go laugh their intelligence capability.....well she no believe in equality to start with....

Being male is even a disadvantage in many discussions nowadays.

efficiencie:
@chinasaekpere from your post I can see that you have inherited the pattern and spirit of the waters and emptiers from your parents. Yes, your Dad is religious but he is not spiritual. You need to go for deliverance. If you cannot go for deliverance, get prayer points from Dr. D. K. Olukoya (http://mfmjesu-ga.org/2016/05/02/the-battle-against-the-wasters/) and pray before you make another decision. If you don't break from the pattern of your parents you will repeat their mistakes just as you have already started making the mistakes.

You see these people....run far away from them.....they will trap you the way they trapped your dad..

If not jazz why will someone work for 35years with no much to show but paid donation and bought instrument for the church before anything else from his gratuity ?

The mistake your father make was requesting the church to pray for him to receive his gratuity while he is alive but he had to make deal with the same money.