₦airaland Forum

akinalabi:
Nigerian women will prefer it.

They dont want to cook in the first place.

Here we go again.

Tribalistic vaga!#@!@#

David ojare, my wife na complete yoruba.

When I say soup, I'm mean regular stew including egusi, banga and the likes. I guess I slacked in that area cos I grew up as the only son with 4 sisters.

Well, cooking for my wife is not a role, it is what she loves to do and I will not hesitate to help out in anyway I can. We were good friends in graduate schools for years before we started dating so I know this about her. She aint doing it to make me happy.

Like I said, cooking is not a big deal except you make it one. I stayed by myself for years and did not beg anyone to cook for me.

The same way you ladies crave to be spoilt, I appreciate my wife - she enjoys cooking. And since good food is what I like - there!

Reloaded, Well, I know how to cook a few but then, I am blessed with a woman that cooks excellently well and loves doing it.

That does not mean I wont do it if I'm all by myself or alone with my son.

The wife makes good use of me when she's cooking, like she passes me the dirty dishes to clean or tells me what and what to bring from the pantry . . . or simply just tell me to go to bed and not disturb her!!  She cooks like she's having a party!

That woman can mix egusi with snails, ponmo and stockfish!! Oluwa o. Thank God for my wife o

Anyway, na only soup I no sabi. But I will learn _when??  

Ebony-Silk:
Don't your son's daycare potty train him?

Well, my son's day care actually suggested potty training. But they gave up once they went through what we'd been going thru. Like it's just a waste of time right now. The boy just sits and does nothing . . . excepts he really really wants to, which could take forever. The decided to give him some time and try again in a few weeks.

Last night I sat him in his potty for over an hour (tiring!) and he did nothing but cry at his restriction. I gave up and guess what? he pooped like 10mins later.

@ post.

Some wives have to shaves their heads and stay indoors for several days when they becomes widows. Shame!

ijleke:
@ poster. i hate the fact that right now in a matter of weeks my fiance has to be giving a LONG LIST that i have no idea where thats coming from, its driving me crazy,

lol.

easy though. 'half' the list and give one half to her. Abeg, dont go and run into debt cos you want to follow some stupid culture o. Improvise. Most couples put their old clothes into those boxes anyway!!

Too much water is good for d bodi - you start to fade. How do you think Wacko Jacko did it? 

tRoOE:
I believe this story jare, judging by the things have seen 4 the past 2wks in Naija, gosh Naija girls re very very cheap especially those Lagos babes . This chick at a bar was ready to have sef with a stranger, all in the name of food

Who are you ad where are you from??

Here is an example of those who give naija ladies a bad name o.

This stuff happens globally. you need me to count how many american ladies have walked up to me for a quick buck??

yea, it's just the way most people were brought up. Even in some parts of the U.S (south mostly), some people who cannot stand change still think that way.

I think bragging about it would be different from teasing but I guess either's OK as long as it's kept within - not bragging when CNN is around.

@ post

Female genital mutilation.

U need to be in love with yourself first before you can give it out to someone else.

You cannot give what you dont have.

Na by force to shower??

At times I stay in bed ALL day and forget to shower.

This is why Im black. This is why I'm dark. This is why this is why this is why I'm black.

Sisterwoman, I'll take that.

Because in Africa, just as responsible men feel they should be the major provider in the family, women also feel the kitchen ought to be their domain. So even though the wife is bringing in more money or the man is the better cook, that is fine but we dont need you rubbing it in or bragging about it.

So the major issue is the bragging part.

Hope that explains it.

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Also, for peace to reign, men, dont ever take sides with your mom when it comes to cooking

Let's shares our April fool experiences in here.

I'll go (think I told the story once b4):

______________
Some friends of mine decided to pull a fast one on their dad - he had a nice restaurant down their street and it was making loads of money at the time.

So they planned with their security man to come wake the old man up early in the morning on April fool's day and tell him the restaurant was on fire

The poor security man did as he was told - ran to the man's door and started banging and screaming about the building that was 'on fire'.

Then the unexpected happened - the old igbo man dashed out of the house with only his underwear terrible sight with his hands on his head swearing. He ran thru the street to his restaurant b4 he realised there was no fire. After seeing an old naked man run down the streets, no one had the courage to tell him it was April fool's day.

The rest is left to ur imagination o - the security man fired himself right away and my friends never told their dad they planned it.
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yemo777:
Take heart my brother, do you have some savings? because I have come to realise that as a man you must have at least 18 months savings in a zero risk saving deposit before you can really call yourself a man. This means that you can carry on with your normal life for 18 months without working.

I encourage you brother, that you shall surely overcome, after rain comes shine, after night comes day. THE LORD will come through for you very, very soon - Amen.

18months savings?? I wish it were that easy.

Most families in the U.S will start crumbling after 3 - 4 months of NO income.

@ Reloaded.

He uses pullups now. But it's still the same thing. You can tell when he wants to take a dung - he squeezes his face and stays still likes he's trying to force something out. But by then the deed is already done.

Like I mentioned earlier, i take him to the toilet with me and make him sit on his potty while I do my thing. The only things he's interested in is flushing when I'm done.

Even the day care people said the boy aint ready - cos they brought up the idea of potty training.

Some people said to start from 2yrs, some are saying 6months. which ones now??

Hey ladies,

Would you be concerned if your man was obviously a better cook than you _{and he sometimes bragged about it?}


BTW, I cannot cook so this aint about me

I wonder why some ladies here are acting suprised or that some guy is trying to bring them down. stuff has been happening forever and not only in Naiaj, mind you. These ladies will look for whatever excuses or opportunities to talk to you cos they have a mission,

in 1994, I went with my elderly cousins to buy some suya @ the university of suya on allen avenue. We sat down by the car drinking and eating abi. 4 scantily dressed ladies came and ordered some suya - said hi to us all and asked if they could join us (we already knew they were hos anyway). Everyone was having good time gisting and laughing in pidgen of course. Some lady moved closed to me, shy as ever at the time and here's the transcript:

______________________________________________
Lady: Wey ur particulars

Me: huh??

Lady: You get particulars?

Me: what do you mean, you be police?

Lady: the thing wey God give you, wey get cap, you no fit use am? I fit check am inside your car now now
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I nearly choked.

Rape is rape regardless. And it is a bad thing.

Unfortunately, in Naija (at least I know from way back and I hope it has changed), ladies send the wrong signals to guys. They say 'No' when they actually pass 'Yes' across. I watched a peep show back in school then and the girl said No all along while she removed her own jeans pants! We could not help but laugh and it gave us away. Some ladies say No during the necking stage but they eventually but they leading you on. Things like this gets guys confused whether you like it or not. Most naija guys believe naija girls only says no so they dont appear easy.

A girl said No to me in my early yrs and being the gentleman that I am, I politely stopped. The girl went around saying I was a slacker. Barely 18 at the time (ashamed at being tagged a slacker by my friends), what do you think happened the next time the same girl said No to me? Go figure.

So please let your No be No. let it be clear.

The prayer is : God should not lead us into that kind of temptation. Poverty is worse than a disease

What's going on in Nigeria right at this moment??

Bankers are being laid off, the marketers have always been given financial targets that can never be met. A lot of wives are breadwinners and the feed not only their nuclear family, but parents and extended families too. If these ladies lose their jobs, the familes would be thrown out of their apartments and into the waiting arms of bad weather and thieves, amongst other sufferings. I am sure a lot of wives have slept with other men in order to prevent things like this from happening (I am even sure some husbands might know about it but deliberately turn a blind eye). I am talking about a situation in which you have looked for help and there's no forthcoming.

When you have kids and you see them suffering (I mean real poverty) in the midst of plenty, there's nothing you will not do to put some food on their plate.

Some women have turned to armed robbery of drug peddling instead of sleeping with someone to keep their jobs - does this make things any better?

Folks like sisterwoman might not know what I'm talking about . . cos Nigeria defies all logic.

Why did Adedibu become soo strong and people were ready to die for him: because he gave them amala, even without meat at times. These are poeple who have looked for work forever without finding any. They and their kids have gone hungry for days without help. He's dead now and his now hungry benefeciaries are the ones robbing people all over Ibadan.

The prayer is : God should not lead us into that kind of temptation. Poverty is worse than a disease

@ poster

what's ur suggestion: briefs, trousers, joggers or nothing at all . . . and why?

my next statement will depend on ur response (althugh I already have an idea)

You are human and it is normal and even necessary for you to be sober. No responsible man will be oozing with joy when he cannot provide for his family. But from all you have said, you are doing what you ought to be doing and you will surely laugh at the end of this all.

But always look cheerful when you are outside, so it does not appear that you are looking for a pity party.

A lot of people that I know personally in the states are going thru similar situations (even worse) but we can only pray for them and encourage them.

The good thing is that you are trying to get another job and your wife knows this.

Pls dont give up and continue to pray for your wife. You both shall be rewarded VERY soon in Jesus' name.

God be with you and your family.

Godalone:
My son started using potty at 7 month but i don't know how my wife did it.

Thanks for the advice.

Maybe I should install a shower in the toilet, right on top of the toilet bowl . . . . then gradually take it away

We havent even started thinking about no. 2 (the dung) yet!

lol. funny.

He knows about the whack so he'll do it when ur not around. And you know mothers - they'll just run their mouths and that is it. He already knows the difference btw mom and dad.

What I have come to realise is that he'll hold on to his pee until he gets in the shower and it is turned on. Ive tried to migrate this over to his potty and / or toilet bowl with little success.

So I think he has developed that control - only letting it go at the wrong place.

arsenal12:
this is from experience, if the woman is really good before i can guarantee you once she starts getting ahead of the man 99% of the time she will change, and that change is always bad for the man and the family. its sad, i gave my wife of 13years everything and i mean everything because she was very good to me and i want the best for her, she never worked for the whole time we were together and we were very happy, to cut story short she became financially independent and she totally changed from the person i knew for the past thirteen years, trust me good girl turned bad, presently i'm in hell i pray i'm not stuck in it.

Wow!! This poster needs some help and encouragement.
I really dont know what to say in this kind of situation cos I dont know the details of it. A wife changes after 13yrs due to financial independence . . . and you never notice she had this streak in her all along?

scary , after 13years

Well, keep your head up brother. Hell is not for you and you will surely get out of your present situation by God's grace.

Dapo4u:
I have tried to read between the lines and I must say I am deeply worried about one thing:everybody claims to be an

expert to every issues.I am going to be decent and civil in my response.

One, you only give out what you have.Do you seek a piece of advice from the one who is not married in an issue that

bothers on marital hitch?certainly not.I wonder how many of these 'marriage counselors' are married?

Both bsala001 and gberedu corroborated the writer's fear with own personal stories but none is paying attention.What

everyone is interested at is typing, typing, and type anything!

To Igalo: communication is the mainstay of a marital bliss.Communicate your fear with your wife,be matured about your

approach,worry less about what people say and perhaps talk to a marriage counselor.

Good luck.

A marriage councelor will only repeat what some have already mentioned on this forum and then charge hourly fees.

What the poster needs to do is go thru these posts, take what he feels his ideal for him and discard the rest. What worked for A might not necessarily be applicable for B and we are all very unique in our beings and relationships.

That's what anonymous forums are for - let people give their ideas and suggestions, think them over then decide on your best line of action.

Having said that, I aint against councelors. I'm just saving the brother some money.

God help us all.

Say what you all like but no responsbile man wants to hand over financial responsibility to his wife or kids. That is the way we were created.

Having said that, thank God for the kinda wife you got and keep praying for her . . . . dont slack, keep looking for a better job.

If she truly is a good wife, as long as she knows ur making desperate attempts to improve your situation, bills are being paid with little or no stress, all will be well - problems arise when all you do is eat, sleep and watch tv while the wife is struggling and debts start piling up.

Also keep people out of your business in that situation - they can do nothing but more harm to the love you share.

Please dont relax. Make sure your trying to get a better job if it really does matter to you and your combined income is not enough for your livelihood.

Good luck.
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Thanks.

He goes with me whenever I use the restroom, either sits on his potty when I'm there for a while or watches me and waits anxiously to pull the flush lever when I pee. He sits down on his potty and pees once in a while but most times he just sits and does nothing. When I wake him up, I position him in front of the toilet bowl but he just looks

But I know this, put him in a shower and turn it on, he'll pee right away. So he's kinda figured it is OK to pee in the shower. They started training him @ the day care too but the teachers complain it is just a waste of time - the boy just chills and does nothing all day!

We've heard it's tougher with boys but I feel we still have to try all the same.

I guess we'll wait a while and try later. but I'll continue to take him to the toilet with me though.

thanks again.