midnighter:


You do not seem to understand that I definitely see OP as a weakling with this behaviour he has been displaying. So you don't have any point.



Lol so if both families were made aware of the cheating she would still go and write stupid suicide notes with his name on it right?

She would still go to his sister and rub her face on the ground without saying anything when the sister knows she is a cheater. Ewo!

She is actually winning because neither of the two families know about her shame. He just made himself look like a time-waster which I'm sure the girl is thanking her stars for.

Unseroiusness begets unseroiusness...you are all welcome to keep praising each other smh

You want him to call family meeting before he breaks up with her. I got you.

midnighter:


To an extent whatever happens afterwards is academic to this discussion; for him to even be there in the first place is an indication of how irresponsible he is.

Even if he's not going to jail it was still a totally unnecessary experience to have had and he could have avoided it if he had handled the situation properly instead of burying his head in the sand.



Exactly what I said. Which is why he should have gotten rid of her immediately instead of all this tomfoolery.



As I have said plenty of times, this is not about her but about him.

Who cares how he appears to her She already has no respect for him which is why she had the guts to do all this rubbish in the first place. She wouldn't have been able to drag him further into her insanity if everything was out in the open.

At the bolded, exactly! She couldn't even go to his house but tried to get under his skin by bypassing him and going to embarrass him in front of his sister. That was when he should have done some damage control instead of keeping mute.

She's messing up everywhere and he's just sitting there watching it. What was stopping him from telling her to explain who the shoe guy was? Then the sister could see where all that crying and bowing on the ground was coming from.

The woman asked him what the hell is that, he said he doesn't have anything to say. Mehn! If I were that sister I would just chase those two unserious people from my house and get back to my sleep.

If had she lied and blamed OP for the cheating then at least we would have seen through her flimsy excuses and it would have ended there. Now she's lying to him from her hospital bed and he still sat there looking at her so what is your point?

Lie today and lie tomorrow, which one is worse



Please quote me and show me where I said that he did something wrong and that's why she cheated.



Keep hailing him for refusing to face his problem until it held a knife against his neck!

Smh no lateral thinking, no logic, no consideration for the future.

Just empty posturing and misinformed psycho-social politics. Terrible! Will you run your home like this?

The only thing people should learn from him is that you should take control of a situation instead of letting it degenerate into total idiocy like it has now.

E just de pain you say op no be weakling.

There is something you don't know. Whether op do clean closure, open closure, or dirty closure, she will pull up the stunts she's being pulling but op did it in a painful way which i think is the best way to do. No drama, no emotion, very silent. I'm pretty sure you're not going to tell me that all the people that have been committing suicide or attempted to commit suicide, their partners didn't do a clean closure that's why they resulted to committing suicide.
Clean closure or not, that won't stop her from going to op's sister's house to beg him on her behalf or attempt suicide. She will still pull her manipulative techniques to hook op down because she knows what she's losing.

midnighter:


I am not "emotional", Im just irritated by what these people are writing. Or maybe you should qualify your use of the word "emotional".

Insults have been flying left, right and centre throughout the thread, people have written all sorts but because I disagree vehemently with you people, you want to undermine my points by dismissing them as "emotion". Well, you cant!

If I were in OPs shoes I would have gone straight to the point when the girl showed up at my elder sisters house, lying and pretending. He is posting here and you people are hailing him because the girl is still alive. What if she wasnt? Even if she took fake sniper, it still could have gone wrong.

Somebody ended up at a police station just so that he could bear the name of "strong man" and feel like he's doling out justice and punishment.

What do I need to learn from the OP apart from passive-aggressiveness, situational ineptitude and immaturity? What exactly

Forget it, nothing will happen to op. He would explain how she cheated on him and showed them evidence and the other guy would serve as witness. This year alone, people have committed suicide because of their lovers. How many of their lovers have been jailed? None. The girl cheated on him and she couldn't go straight to op's house to beg him. She uploaded on her status that she would commit suicide thinking that op would be begging her that he still loves her and she shouldn't kill herself blah blah blah. Why didn't she commit suicide after uploading the status? My guy blocked the mothefucking hoe instantly. She realized that manipulation didn't work on Op and went straight to op family member that loves her most. Chronic manipulator.
You want op to do clean closure by going to her. How is he going to do that without appearing weak and vulnerable to her? You want to tell me she doesn't know her way to op's house herself but you want to op to go to her and do clean closure so that she can lie and blame op for her cheating. Op never do clean closure self you don blame op say he did something wrong that's why she cheated.

Op, you are the real MVP. Some guys don learn things from you.

abdeiz:
lool...Honestly the i dey feel the OP ahswear...He no send at all

Someone was even trying to put the blame on him. Op ex is a chronic manipulator. Op caught her red handed and instead of her to leave the scene immediately or some minutes after op left the scene and go straight to his house and beg him, but she didn't and still went to club with the other guy and enjoy herself to the fullest and I'm pretty sure when they finish clubbing, thorough banging would follow. After the whole thing oo, she didn't go to Op house to beg him but uploaded her status that she's going to commit suicide . Then after that again oo, she no go op house to beg him but went straight to op sister's house to beg her. Lol.

To me, if she truly loves op and cares about him, she will never and never go to club with that other guy after op caught her red handed. That's nothing but "See finish". Haba!!

I'm pretty sure she never took sniper but took substance that's not as potent as sniper. The girl knows within herself the other guy won't marry her; they are just using each other to cure konji. She thinks that Op might be her best shot to get married. So, she just doing all that not to lose her best opportunity to get married, not only that but also not to lose husband material that Op is. With all I have seen though, op won't fall for that trick.
Note: this is my opinion oo.

OP, to be candid with you, you deserve this.

abdeiz:
@OP I can only imagine how traumatic it must have been for you. Honestly I admire your cold demeanour and the way you so maturely handled this.

Do not mind those up there trying to shove down their own beliefs down your throat. Ignore them please. They are birds of the same feather with your ex even worse sef. May we never come across their type in our lives ever.

Definitely your plan for people to learn from your story even if its one person is a success. I've taken some tips from you in handling such situations.

Take care bro.

They never expected him to act like that in that situation. They were expecting him to start begging the girl after she cheated on him or want him to say "I don't know what to do. Please help me. I need your advice" like some other guys have been doing in his situation". They just want him to appear weak by force.

When church youth leader, bro Joseph, woo her, she will be telling bro Joseph "no sex before marriage" and bro Joseph go think say she don see wife wey be saint, but bro Joseph no go know say church na safe haven for olosho after retirement.

lefulefu:
those ones are jus doing follow follow of what a man can do a woman can do better sort of thing .remember it was only when some guys started using F on their moniker that some ladies also took the cue and started using M on their moniker

Lol

Ladycewhy:
i didn't come to let you know that ,take the message away.Or are you a participant too ,is that why you are more interested in me than the message?

You are not giving us proofs to know you are real female since you are acusing female monikers in which you are included also. Bringing this up by creating a thread makes you a prime suspect because it seems you do want eyes on you by letting yourself off the hook.

Come to think of it, there are some females too that use M also, who are they trying to scam? I can even mention two monikers I know of.

Ladycewhy:
look real to who?lol ,i don't even reply pms from thirsty boys here to begin with.

How do we know that?

Ladycewhy:
why will i be doing something and be warning people against it ? Doesn't that even make sense to you?

Maybe to make yours looks real. Just thinking.

TheRedpillguy:

This is what feminism is supposed to be, not what it is. Heard of ferminist slutwork?
Chivalry., women still want that. They want men to open doors for them. Well not me, (not a slave)
And ferminist feel oppressed to cook a meal period
I think feminism is a good philosophy, I will defnetly like to operate on equal footing with a woman. Especially that 50/50ratio
Hehe women still want to be considered first In time of disaster. Thanks to feminism men can now just save the self's and leave the women to safe themselfs. Cus being macho in time of disaster is toxic masculinity, or better yet they can save themselfs becouse women don't need men.

According to feminism, protecting women during war is toxic masculinity so women can protect themselves during war. This is sweet. When a ship is in the middle of the ocean and it's about to sink, there won't be "Let women and children use the life boat first so that the men can become sacrificial lamb". Because feminists will see this as toxic masculinity so they don't need men for survival.

More...

More..

Oluwasaeon:
What we don't know is way more than we know. Read about this man and his underwater discoveries a few days ago - Roman Fedortsov. Scary stuff

There you go.

technuel:

And let me ask you, how long does it take to know someone. That guy won't go that level if she have not known the Lady for a very long time. All I see here is a rejection based on Class nothing more nothing less. If not ehile making emphasis on his profession, while not tell us a certain guy send her this message. One thing women fail to understand is that sometime the rejected stones are sometimes the corner stones in their life. That is why most of them end up in abusive relationship because they want to end up with a rich dude.

Thank you for this. The main reason she posted it is not because the way she was being wooed, but the kind of job the man does. She didn't even care about that at that moment but she feels repulsive for a security man to woo her. If it was the way he messaged her, she should would have said a random guy in her caption. I think she has achieved her aim since she has turned the man to an object of ridicule in her place of work.
She should just have warned him sternly not to try that again with her the following day she got to work. Why posting it on social media to score cheap points.
They won't post how wealthy people are asking them out. Na people wey dem think say dem no de their class dem go post their chats online up and down.

technuel:

That is boldness, he said it the way it is in his hesrt. It is left for her to say Yes or No. There is no cause for alarm she is not the first person to have an admirer. Will she say the same thing if the Son of Dangote she barely knows makes the same move.

Oil de your head jor.
She might have seen worst from rich dudes but she won't post it because those ones meet her standard.

tartarus:


Did you even read the screenshot?!. He said he wants to spend a night with her, just a few minutes. That's very perverted coming from someone she's not really aquatinted with..
I don't know why many Nigerian men take a woman's kind gesture as "green light". If you have a sister and man is sending her lewd texts give her the same advise.

If na one big politician or bussiness tycoon woo her like that, will she post it? I'm pretty sure she has seen worst than that from men but she won't post it because those ones are rich unless you want to tell me the security man is the first person that have wooed her.
Let's assume a senator messaged her saying he will love to f*ck her this night and he will send 18 million naira to her account as a start. And after their first night together, she will take her to Monaco for vacation then the senator post the name of the hotel and room number of the hotel they will meet. Ask yourself, will she post it? We both know the answer.
How do you think the sugar zaddies woo ladies? You are the sugar in my tea, you are the water in my sea, you are the leaves on my tree.
He can only do that to a poor man because he doesn't have what she wants, which we both know.

burggerx:
I'm not stupid man! The reason why I have stayed this long with her is that I don't know if the next person I will jump to would be worse, which I doubt

So if she starts breaking bottle on your head, you won't leave the relationship because you believe the next girl might start chasing you with gun.

Martinez is right. You are stupid, No offense bro but it's true.

drlance:



I will bro , may your days be long

Thanks and you too.

She wants you back when she sees that things are now rosy for you. Please send her back to the doctor she left you for. I'll advise you not to take her back because if you do, whenever she sees anybody that's better than you again, she will dump you.

It's very easy for women to switch branch like a monkey if they see more comfortable branch to switch to.

Use your head.

lyndaway:
that your opinion about women but the truth be told we have women that don't really give a dam about a man's cash believe me or not I know what am saying

Yeah, I believe you but that kind of women are not marrying poor men or attracted to poor men. So, what's the essence of they don't give a damn about men's money?

Nigeria is the headquarter of poverty in the world but still, the government want to tax the citizens to death and increase the number of poor people in the country.

pansophist:


SO explain to me why you are passive and didn't call her out when she wrote this nonsensical as quote below and even went further to challenge my corrections with lies such as men placing their value only on being the provider?

Na you have their time. They will create non-existent problems and start attacking the fantasies they create. I don't know where in Nigeria that men don't contribute to their kids upbringing aside finance. African men that are disciplinarian. Must grown up guys hardly have good rapport with their fathers and talk with their fathers with ultimate respect because of strict disciplines they got from their fathers when they were kids, especially the ones that their fathers are teachers. I still remember when I went to my friend's house some years back, I was surprised his father asked him to kneel down when he did something wrong, a 300 level student then for that matter.
We lived closed to barracks so some of my friends fathers were retired old soldiers. Whenever they narrate how their fathers beat them at home, you would be thanking God for your father.
My best friend then whenever he sighted his dad's car while we were playing ball, before you look back, my brother, the guy don disappear. No one among us I have a father that's not strict.
Back then whenever you did something wrong and your mother says she will report you to your father when he comes back from work, just know you are a dead meat. If you ask nairaland guys who they fear most BTW their father and mother, don't be surprised that more than 80% will say their fathers.

These people will just create nonsense on top of their heads and start attacking it to make it look real.

Cbn puts charges on cash deposit.
Zombie: Government want to encourage cashless policy.

Few months later Cbn puts 50 naira charges on every transaction on POS.
Zombie: You citizens want to enjoy infrastructures and don't want pay tax.

Confused idiots. Awon werey.

praz001:



Trust me it isnt that easy to get over. Most times we place our entirty on this ladies and They let themselves down.

Mine was March this year. Am just getting over her now. she is been disturbing with calls after her pregnancy with the other guy.

men! I try pleasing her with everything. No matter how much you try, it better to embrace the reality rather than living in illusion.....

Let the op take enough time out he will be better for it

What is she calling you for? I think to father someone else child.

This one off me.

GeneralShepherd:


In as much as it can be argued that the West has become gynocentric in recent years, it does not mean that divorce laws need not be strengthened in Nigeria.

Do I like divorce laws and child support laws no? Is it being abused? Yes every law has loopholes but it does serve it's purpose and that giving women who are genuinely in danger an opportunity to leave their marriages and have a decent life afterwards.

Anyone who argues that women dont have equal opportunities in Nigeria isn't wrong but the truth of the matter is that everyone in Nigeria is as oppressed as the next person.

Nigeria is simply a lawless country where anything goes and so more laws to protect women won't even change anything.

However I feel it is fair to support your child after a divorce and not leave the women empty handed also. It is only fair to do so EVEN if the divorce is her fault

I don't need to pay child support to any woman since I have the resources to take care of my kid(s) so the kid(s) should be with me if I want the custody of kid(s). If she's fighting for the custody of the kids, then that means she has financial power to take care of the kid(s) unless the kid(s) is/are infant(s).
This nonsense has makes some women to turn relationships to business centers in US where you will see a woman giving birth to 5 children for 5 different fathers and living of off child supports. This is very common among African Americans. I think this is what women here are agitating for, this what they want where they will turn marriages to business centres. Lazy people everywhere.

I think the court should give the kid to anyone that has financial capability to take of the kids if both of them are fighting for the custody of the kids. But I'm in support of the man should pay child support if he doesn't want the custody of the kid. In essence, anyone that wins the custody of the kid should carry the financial burden alone but the spouse can support the kid if he or she wants, not forced or obligated to do so. But the alimony is 100% bullsh*t because it will increase laziness in women and it will increase divorce in marriage divorce will be initiated a lot by women at the slightest provocation even if the woman is at fault in the case of cheating and she knows that she will benefit from the divorce a lot so it is a win-win for her. In US, na women they mostly initiate divorce.

Martinez39:
Nna, I weak o. I could have continued debunking and deconstructing her irrational and directionless arguments but I can't go on forever. Women have rights and opportunities as men but, according to the op, it's not empowerment and women need the evil divorce laws and child support laws in the US and other developed countries to be empowered. What sort of logic is that? So divorce laws and child support are women empowerments? You can see we have a crook here. So she needs misandric laws that can be abused to ruthlessly extort money from men before she can be empowered? She and her kind want to open a pandora box.

In life, every decision has it consequences and we must not create a society that absolves individuals of being held accountable. No man forced any woman to marry and no woman forced any man to marry. The risks of marriage include disappointment and unfaithfulness from a spouse, making sacrifices that are eventually futile, a complete turn around in the attitude of your spouse etc. You have no excuse to not be aware of the risks of marriage and it is your responsibility to bear the consequences if your marriage choices backfire and your marriage hits rock-bottom instead of running to the government soliciting child support and alimony. If you can't take the risk, don't get married or don't, as a woman, open your legs and get pregnant for some fvck boy. If op is so concerned about fathers leaving their children, what happens to suing for parental neglect? Why child support and alimony? Because we have a crook and hypocrite on our hands. She has ulterior motives.

If a woman has an abusive husband, let her leave the marriage and let him be punished under the law as an abuser. Its wrong if he is asked to compensate with his properties and cash because women will abuse such laws to set their husbands up and government could tax the money (like they do in the USA) and boom, we have a law that government is motivated to keep and exploit alongside with women. The same applies to alimony and child support. Marriage would turn to a business scheme with the divorce and alimony laws we see in western countries. The price the man needs to pay will keep rising. During a divorce, both individuals in a marriage should be separated such that none makes away with the other's assets or cash. It's funny how she thinks men don't like taking care of their children while forgetting the one's that dump and kill their new borns.

The only thing government must get involved in is parental neglect and when it comes to financially taking care of the kids, the husband and wife must be held accountable no matter what. Nothing stops the women from building wealth before and during the marriage, same with man. All things being equal, custody should be given to who earns more except if the person wants joint custody or grants sole custody to the other. Bad choices, bad consequences.

I rest my case.

You de mind lazy people. They want to turn marriage to business center.

She's saying alimony benefits both men and women and na lie. In 2017, U.S Census Bureau said 98% of people receiving alimony were women.

JONNYSPUTE:
. This is exactly what I'm saying. Most of you ladies are always erratic when such things are mentioned.It would have made sense if you had first condemn her actions but no,you jumped to defend her just because she is a woman. With this attitude,both gender is going to feel the negative impact. Like I used to say,I'm not in competition with any woman concerning gender issues. Let all join hands together and make our society worth living.I will definitely correct a 4yrs old yahoo boy or a 4yr old boy smoking Igbo with serious beating.

It's very funny that you never know the motive behind this thread.

Lilbest3:
you know why I don't take any of these idiots seriously? Everything they vomit online is just audio in the end they'll still log out and follow one boy to fast food, beg money for hair etc.
A "modern" woman earning money is almost useless to the family people that will have register for money they spent on the family and demand repayment as soon as the husband arrive is whom these idiots are even mentioning.
The day I knew women were mad was the day I heard my very own blood sister dragging her husband the money she and their daughter used to feed when he traveled for a few days.
Another very rich woman I know accumulated all her wealth and buy a big jeep. She calculates every dime she spends and collect it from her husband.
Women that believe her money is her money and your money our money.
Look at the other one talking about how Spears is paying child support lol. That's like saying a woman was jailed for raping a man, the most rarest of happenings. Women marry up the social ladder. Women marry someone richer than them while men marry anyone.
A male CEO can leave Abuja, go to the village and marry a village girl but a female CEO will never marry a broke boy. This is why the law is against men because men are always richer than their wives so men lose far more in any case of divorce. The only reasonable thing will be a little form of settlement or compensation for the time we spent together perhaps you might have even made me go through hell sef but just manage this small thing to start your life. The richer partner should be given custody not using that as an excuse to fleece the man for the rest of his life. There are thousands of men that genuinely wanted to be given custody of their children but the woman always win. I want my son to be with me, I will take care of him you say no then demand I pay you for the choice you made yourself and the court agree is that not madness?

The other illiterate is talking about how men started wars. I guess she hasn't heard of Queen Isabella of Spain, cleopatra of Egypt, Queen Elizabeth I queen Anne, Queen Mary the bloody that sent men to fight their wars

When you lack history, you will always sound stupid.

I'm pretty sure she never heard of Mrs Efunroye Tinubu the great slave merchant that sold people as slaves to the whites.

kazyhm:



Why this debate is tiring is that emotional women are religious and yet don't want to abolish what has been written in their religious books and don't want to follow it as well.

Gender roles are clearly defined in all the holy books

The only way you can practice what you preaches is to stay unmarried. That you wouldn't have to worry your head about a man's role.

The funniest part is women know all about all that is wrong with men.

Thank you for this.

I don't understand this husband this blah blah blah, Nigerian men in marriage blah blah blah, how most women in marriage are the bread winnners of their families and the same bread winners need alimony and child support from men that are not working. Lol.

The last time I checked every one has the right to stay single till the rest of their lives and no one will arrest them. Genevieve and Don jazzy no marry, den kill them? No.

If no man agrees with you to do house chores, abeg stay single and stop disturbing us on how being a woman is hard and being a man is easy because of house chores.