JONNYSPUTE:
..Fine. You don't need to be home everytime to monitor her but if you are a careful observer,you will know when things are not going on well in your home. Just like you ask your biological kids of their wellness,you can as well do same to your maid. And as a matured man,you will definitely know what's up and take appropriate actions.

In this situation, what are you going to do? Because the last person that reacted by scolding his wife for maltreating their maid was accused for sleeping with the maid, not only that but also his wife stopped cooking for him. He shared the story on nairaland and some were advising him to go and apologized to his wife for over reacting.
Again, in this situation, how are you going to do it so that you won't be called paedophile?

JONNYSPUTE:
.. I don't know if this particular woman is a single mother or not but what I'm saying is that this is not the first time we are hearing of such news and don't tell me that all of them are single mothers. Can you as a man keep quiet if such is happening in your house because you are scared your wife might claim you re sleeping your maid? Bros,let's be honest here,most of the rubbish acts being exhibited by some women is because the so called weak men give them so much livrage.

Will you be home every time to monitor a maid?

JONNYSPUTE:
.. In a way what she said is right. How can someone call himself a husband/man and cannot do anything to help a poor child since the wife/woman has decided to be the devil's incarnate? We can keep blaming women for such acts but I still believe that we men are in position to stop it.If anything happens to that poor child,the man won't go free because he never took any action against the woman's stupidity and wickedness.

You are very funny. What if the woman is single mother or her husband has died a long time ago, will you blame the dead man in the grave for this?

Was it not yesterday a man shared a horrible experience how he scolded his wife on her bad attitude towards their maid and the woman immediately accused her husband for having sex with the maid and after the incident, she stopped cooking for her husband and started playing victim card by crying around the house like egbere.

Abeg leave men out of this.

livebyday:


You sound idealistic and not realistic


My dear I repeat , it is called self development.

This kind set you have is why marriages crash . You have two people of different backgrounds with their own baggage coming to a marriage with expectations?

A marriage or relationship isn't where you go to fix your issues ! You are an adult fix yourself before getting committed to a relationship.

So if you come to me with nothing but culinary skills as your knowledge base then that is entirely your fault

I am not here to fix you, it's hard enough fixing me talkless of you

This is why I always say, not everyone should be in a relationship or marriage! Some people just have the wrong ideology.

Your partner isn't there to fix your issues, this is why alot of relationships in Nigeria feel so stressful and tiring. Because alot of womenhave your mindset and come there with their baggage looking for whom to dump on .

If you are old enough to decide move in with him then you are old enough to have figured out what you need to doing to fix your life

Because you have been fixed before entering marriage or relationship, that means you can never have fault then need to be fixed again while in marriage or relationship.

Let's assume you have fixed yourself before marriage and then after some years in marriage, you have fault and need to be fixed. I'm pretty sure you will divorce so that you can fix yourself because marriage is not a place to fix issues. Are you going to be divorcing every time you have fault because marriage is not a place to fix issues?

That's nothing but being ungrateful. You can do that to a girl unless she's rubbing it in your face during your hard time. Whether she upgrades herself or not, as long as she has been supportive and stands by you, you need to repay her and upgrade her to your taste.

Op is just encouraging ungratefulness. If it was your guy too that helped you by feeding you, clothing you, give you shelter, you will dump him as soon as you hit because he didn't upgrade.

This is pure nonsense.

ubunja:
are you not the same women who like to tell men "Marriage is not for everyone". When men say the same thing you go on a lecture about "dying alone". Hilarious. Don't be a joke.

That's double standard at its peak.

Preciousgirl:
For those crucifying me, both my dad and husband know I am a very decent woman . they know I am not an infidel, so your insults here won't get to me. Be charitable in your advice. I didn't send that guy my picture with a bad intention .

Women that cheat on their husbands have never said that they are promiscuous, but they only tell people they are decent until they get caught in hotel banging another man or on their matrimonial bed with another man riding d!ck to cloud 9.

Donbigi2:


No d talk nonsense. You think every one is thesame? You because they can't intimidate you means they can't do it to others? You think it's the same animal you meet on the road? Because everyone is not afraid of a cockroach.

Most people that have been killed by policemen because of bribe might have had the mindset with him; thinking that no policeman can extort them because they think they are fearless, but not knowing that they would jam agbako policemen that would end their life one day.

lonelydora:


That one is different. Agreeing to pay 500k is what I mean.

You are very funny. Somone didn't agree to pay 100 naira and he was killed and you want another person that refuses to pay 500k and expect him to live.

When ikechuwkwu of mohit bragged that no SARS can harass him, but after some months, he narrated how they took him to atm to withdraw. I just pray you get into the same situation and tell us how you escape it so that we can learn too from your experience

lonelydora:


Lie Lie. Before SARS threatened you, they must have seen something wrong.

You mean the trailer driver that was murdered by a police officer because he refused to drop 100 naira has something incriminating.

overall90:



some of you still don't understand what is going on

on this Lagos-Benin rd,someone was murdered a few months of ago because of 5k bride.

5k is too much.

Not less than a month ago, a trailer driver was murdered in Akure by a police officer because of 100 naira bribe and the story was on the front page of Nairaland.

Bedwyr:
Actually, to be harsh, Nigerians need to pay more taxes.

It would be a good thing if we paid 30-50% of our monthly earnings as tax, the better to force many of us to sit up and actually take an interest in what our gofment is doing...

(Yes, I mean it.).

So that the cabal, the executive, and upper chamber of thieves and lower chamber of thieves can feed fat.
Now that money dey grow legs up and down in FIRS and govt organizations, everyone that can evade tax should evade tax.

philip0906:

No one is stopping women from choosing for themselves...It is a farce. Everyone gets pressured here and there (Men & women)...I'm single my parents every now and then drum about getting married. That is the case of millions of men (& women). Difference is, men do not bring out a useless cause out of that. We totally understand the intentions of family & society is genuine but women blow these things out of proportion like they are the only ones facing pressures...

If you're successful as a woman, you are in control of your own destiny.

It's a level playing ground out there...Go out there, grind with men, succeed and no one will stop you from making your choice.

You de mind her. No single woman in Nigeria that have reached marriage able stage have faced the kind of pressures Don Jazzy has faced: he has been ridicule by his Co-celebrities, fans, comedians make fun of him on stage and through comedy skits, but the guy never flinched. If a single woman of his age faces 20% pressure that Don jazzy has been facing, the whole social media will not rest. She will be mentioning society up and down. Society have been putting pressure on men to make it and shame the men that fail to make it but we don't blow things out of proportion like they do.
The same marriage pressure women are facing, men are facing the same thing. No parents will see their son being single at the age of 38 without putting pressure on him unless he has no parents but men take it with pinch of salt.

ResidentSlut:


Could be anywhere from 50 % to any number that ensures the women are adequately represented especially in areas that affect women the more.

I’m not caught up in the specific number that it is. But a population that is mostly made of 50/50 men and women is doing poorly if only 11% of it’s female is represented.

We wouldn’t be having this conversation if there were 89% of women in government with only 11% being men.
Everyone would know without being told that it’s not balanced.

But since it’s women, let’s have a discussion about it and critically analyze every aspect of it.

How many women are involved in politics compare to men? Because you are a woman you should be given slot but the men that fought tooth and nail for his winning should be neglected. Those 89% of men and the 11% of women he appointed are among the people that contributed to his winning.

If women want equal participation in politics, then more women should join politics. Very simple.

midnighter:


Yes, I said that in my post.

He shouldnt have slapped her at all!! But

- He has already apologised. At the end he cannot take the slap back, all he can do is apologise some more. So why not accept the apology or refuse to accept it UNTIL he agrees not to stay out until 2AM again instead of throwing the baby out with the bathwater?

- Is she actually going to tell her mother and brother what transpired or will she just tell them that "we are arguing and he slapped me"? Because she too will be ashamed of herself if her family really gets to hear the story

- Your mother and brother will still eventually come to see your presence as an irritation and ask you when youre going back

The genesis of the problem is that he stayed out until 2AM and left her with the baby and NOT that he slapped her! At the point when he came back late, she was totally blameless and she should have kept it that way if she knew she was going to involve her family in their issue. I would have accepted it if she reported him to her family over that alone if it were a repeat occurrence.

The golden question is, who pursued who here ? Did he go and look for her to slap her or did she go looking for slap

And people saying that "she could have fallen, she could have died" etc yeah! And he could have developed hypertension from constant nagging and shouting. Thats why they should both apologise to each other and keep each other alive mbok

Are you truly a woman or a man using female moniker? See logical argument devoid of emotion unlike those ones have been reading from female nairalander on this thread.
This is rare ooo. E weak me Sha.

Ayomide11111:
I just spent 3months in her house now and the signs i have
Been reading from this woman are numerous thinking maybe
All those signs were just normal and unintentional, until yesterday.
This woman should be at her early 50s, though she is a beautiful woman with seductive assets both
Front and back... and im just 30. I was
Having my bath yesterday when this woman asked of me from my room neighbors
And they told her i was in the bathroom, but i dont know how this woman got inside my room
When i entered my room i saw madam
Already sleeping in my bed, i was surprised, wetin happen? She said wants me to check
Something out of his phone. Haa!! Something out?
Ok, bring your phone, trying to collect the phone but before i know what is happening madam has hijacked
My towel... Na god save me yesterday cos i put boxers.

How did God you?
Please Explain.

Boyooosa:



Compare him to Shekau, is Shekau not a disoriented human being brainwashing his loyalists?
Compare him to Kanu, is Kanu not a greedy and selfish human being that is brainwahing his sheeples? These mentioned two are also of interest to the govt and DSS, so Sowore too is not an exception, he shouldn't be allowed to degenerate to another Shekau and Kanu for us abeg, that's how they started, they are always having a reason to agitate but the original reason should be against bad governance as claimed and not selfish interest.
Well, in the contrary I'm not a Buhari fan nor a partisan, I'm just a normal nigerian that traces issues without bias as it has to do with the national interest.
DSS goofed fine but giving people like sowore chance to disrupt the serenity of our society is obviously risky.
He signed a bail condition that he would not address press or discuss about the issue publicly till the case is settled amicably, then, the bail terms were not importantant to him again than to start setting up a conference so that Nigerians will see him as a Mandella right!
We can't live with that bro, DSS should brazen up, CIA will never allow him to get away with such.

Let me help you here. His minions has been enjoying a lot under this govt. No single boko haram member has been prosecuted. Once they are arrested, government will feed them, shelter them. Some of them have been given scholarships to study in noun university. I heard that they are recruiting them back to the army. A senator said they can become a president, senator, law maker, ministers. The same set up of people that have killed thousands of people, thousands of soldiers, destroyed properties worth millions of dollars, behead soldiers on Tv. To zombies, sowore and Kanu that have never killed a single soul or alleged pointing a gun at someone are dangerous more than world known terrorists that have records of attrocitie.
If federal government catch shekau today, they will first buy him private jet and appoint as minister of defense. Chai, terrorists they enjoy for this buhari Era ooo.

IgweBUIKE1:
continue watching basketball cos you know next to nothing about football ..ans the worst part is that you re washing your dirty linens outside

LOL. Your hatred for ronaldo Don blind una eye. Giggs is a playmaker LM but Ronaldo RM that created more chances, assists, and more skillfull than Giggs is not a playmaker. I was expecting him to add Roy Keane to his list.
Messi fan boys that think ronaldo played as a striker in man u. You guys no go kill person.

Abeg you know nothing.

IgweBUIKE1:
continue watching basketball cos you know next to nothing about football ..ans the worst part is that you re washing your dirty linens outside

LOL. Your hatred for ronaldo Don blind una eye. Giggs is a playmaker LM but Ronaldo RM is not a playmaker that create more chances more, assist and more skillfullthan Giggs is not a playmaker. I was expecting him to add Roy Keane to his list.
Messi fan boys that thinks ronaldo played as a striker in man u. You guys no go kill person.

Abeg you know nothing.

gurunlocker:


So does that makes him a playmaker? During that time, the play maker was Giggs, Scholes and Rooney..... But obviously, you know nothing!

Watch this and say no more.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJeiwA4SnCs.

Everyone here can watch this too and define their own definition of playmker.
If anyone watches this and say Ronaldo is not a playmaker, that person doesn't know what a play maker is. Gurunlocker, this is my last mention.

gurunlocker:


Go to google, it's a better way to explain since you don't understand my explanation..... Ronaldo is not a play maker, just a scorer and a great poacher.


A play maker does not stay inside the box to be fed or wait for square play so as to nod. You should understand now.

So, when he was playing as RM/LM, he stayed in the box 18 and waiting for goal.
Just confess that you started watching ball 3 years ago then I'll understand you.

gurunlocker:


You don't know what a play maker is..... Please don't say it outside, Ronaldo was never and will never be a playmaker. Please ask your other Ronaldo fan boys, they will answer you.

It's not about number of assists.....

Oya define a playmaker.

gurunlocker:


Obviously you know nothing about football.... One thing is sure, Messi will break the Ronaldo champions league record, he is very close. Yes, Ronaldo played as LW in his Man Utd days and early Madrid days (When Raul was there).


But he changed is game play and focused on goal scoring alone.... Ronaldo is not a play maker, please don't say that outside o, you will sound dumb if you say so.

Play is build around a playmaker..... In Portugal, Bernardo Silva is the play maker, In Mancity, Silva and De bruyne and the King of playmakers is Messi.


Ronaldo is just a goalscorer, nothing more!!!

LOL. He's not a playmaker but he has 219 assist for club and country. You can only say Ronaldo is more of striker now but never a playmaker sounds so so stupid. Ronaldo as a RM/LM that creates chances and assists is not a playmaker. I don hear new one today.

Astark:
what juventus needs now is a playmaker, someone that can supply goals so that ronaldo can take all the glory.

that's why messi is the most under rated player ever

He create goals as a playmaker
He score goals as a forward
He dribbles and entertain
He passes and assists

He's everything

The same way he has been supplied in Portugal?
With what you listed above, winning trophy for Argentina should have been easy for messi.

Meanwhile, Ronaldo has more than 130 assist.
He's all time champion's league assist.
He's the second all time laliga assist more than xavi and Iniesta known for play making.

The last time I check, Ronaldo played as RM/LM more than half of his career. Can you please define a play maker?

NiklauseFred:



My uncle already forgave her before he left planet earth,so there was no need restraining her and besides she wanted to pay him her last respect.

Last respect after sending him to heaven.

jaymichael:
Virtue is it's own reward. You will heal fine. Develop the habit of using writing as a therapy. Devote a bit more time to your passion and hubby.
Wetin Musa no go see for gate? 2011, bought a phone for a girl and she used another boy's picture as the screensaver, homeboy confronted her and she said 'GO AND ENTER GUTTER OR KILL YOURSELF' she later married the guy. What later transpired is a story for another day which makes a very very interesting read.
Another one after some years got pregnant for another man while we still dey date. Na me disvirgin her o. She was still collecting money from me for treatment when I thought it was just fever not knowing it was the onset of pregnancy. This girl has a very very good and kind heart but she is easily influenced and swayed by peer pressure and she fancied the good things of life. I learnt she later married the guy. She later contacted me some years later when she had a still born and she said she was told and even dreamt about it that if she didn't ask for forgiveness from someone she offended, she may not be able to bear a child. I prayed for her and I told her that I didn't lay a curse on her nor wish her bad as it is against my principles as woman be like market, na who price well them go sell am to.
I am now married to someone that gives me what I cherish most in a Union which is PEACE OF MIND. In both cases, I just accepted my lot and moved on painfully. I needed no therapy or healing process. I just engaged in my daily routine, faced my job and not think much about it but most importantly, I BORE NO HATE OR RESENTMENT IN MY HEART towards them. I did not change my nature or character especially towards the women folks, this made me not miss the right one when she came along.
You see, e no get the thing wey Akpan never see for inside afang soup. Your story is even lenient sef.
Good luck to you bro.

Chisos. Your eyes don see shege from daughters of eve.

Respect55:

God will bless you. She indirectly chose the guy over me by allowing him do the introduction without reacting. If she had valued me, she wouldn't even mind interrupting the guy and correcting him that she just went on a date with him that I am the boyfriend. She never did that.
No one is talking about that

I don't know why those saying "she loves you and you should take her back" don't see this. Her coming back might be disastrous to the extent that getting yourself back on track will be an herculean task.

bayulll011:



They know nothing at all.
forgive a cheating partner but yes she must go,if you really love me you will not hurt me and hurt my feelings.

Op cut all ties with the families of the silllly girl,change church and move on with life.

Yes hussle i mean hussle well and make money because anytime she sees you she will always be miserable and guilt will eat her up.
my only concern is she may attempt suicide and this time she might not be lucky ciao

At bolded.
It's even worse in the case of op. The man she's claiming that she loves; another guy introduced her as his girlfriend in the presence of her lover, but she acted as if nothing happened and went to club with the guy, slept over in his place. Abeg, which kain love be that? If she truly loves him, conscience won't let her spend another minute with the other guy. What I see here is that she has already seen op has a weakling in which op is far from it. She believed whatever happened, she would still find her way back to op's heart but op na Mr. No nonsense.

Your last paragraph is what I will suggest for op to do.

dannybrasky:


It is unnecessary to waste your time on such people. No matter how glaring it is even for the blind to see that the girl in question is an emotional disaster in the life of the o.p.
The supporter of iniquity is quite disappointed o.p hasn't gone on hunger strike,or gnashing his teeth in pain due to the situation on ground. Different strokes for different folks. People handle situations differently,some catch their ladies in bed and still choose to forgive and move on,when some people see them as mumu,some see them as heroes. As for me,o.p is a legend abeg. I have been there done that,ex cheated on me 3 times I forgave her after trying to commit suicide and professing her yeye love with cries and mucus sweating and crying under the sun on the street in the midst of the public.Guess what? Aunty still left me to go marry,leaving me shattered like a mug. With many conditions,high heart rate,high blood pressure,internal bleeding with couple of sleepless weeks.
Ever since then,I don't even need to see it,all i need do is just smell CHEAT and I'm gone. My heart is extremely precious,A CHEATER WILL REMAIN ONE,SAME APPLIES TO A THIEF. If she truly loved him like the supporter of iniquity has been hammering,why cheat on him in the first place? Ignore the devil's advocate,birds of a feather always flocks together.

O.p your ex is a manipulator,run for your life,they don't change believe me,you might not be lucky to catch her in the act any longer. It wasn't flesh and blood that revealed her atrocities to u,it was God. ( SHALOM)

You de mind those that say she love him that's why she wants to commit suicide. They no nothing.

I888:


She just want to the OP to feel guilty and nothing else.

Manipulative girls generally have that trait.

They are not hard to identify. She has been blaming op for every single action the girl takes from the onset.

Ebubeslym:


I just tire for the kind talk flowing frm that handle.

No be only you. The guy talk say he no do. Na by force?

Ebubeslym:


Somebody wants to eat her cake and have it back.

lol
can i come to your house kee her there.

She wants to keep op for marriage and the other guy for curing of konji. Na this type of girl they Bleep their ex a day before marriage and unknowingly op will father another man's child.

Op just dodge a hand grenade.