₦airaland Forum

VinnyBaba:
A Daughter can actually do that.

It is Quite Possible for a Girl these days BUT it's very Rare. 😕

Many Girls of 16, 17,18yrs naturally want to involve in Boyfriend and Girlfriend stuffs,
Even if there is No sex in the picture. 🤨

They just want the Experience. The Guy's Calls, Quarells, Drama from competitors, etc. 🙂

Any Father that Tells his Daughter 'No Boyfriend or Sex till Marriage' is KILLING that Girl.

You mean you can actually encourage your daughter or sisters to engage in pre marital sex?. If they are old enough it should be their decision and it would be wrong to encourage them.

Selfish actions are very important according to the Scottish economist and philosopher Adam Smith. Millions of people taking part in purely selfish actions will always and without fail result in an outcome that is of the utmost and overall benefit of the society as a whole despite that such an outcome was never the original intention of any of the actors- The Invisible Hand Theory. It is why you will always be swept away if you initiate evil. Man is the author of the ultimate action while God (The Invisible Hand) authors the ultimate plan is my simplified form of the theory.

Jemex003:
Ask d monkey who born you if he never scammed someone before and if you monkey head never 419 people before. Idiotic tribe

You are a filthy idiot. Na monkey born you. I have never scammed anybody before, not my Dad, not my grandfather.

ednut1:
the lebanese have a strong community in Nigeria with ties to politics in north and south. They are also using their skin colour privilege as we see foreigners as gods here. Even a Nigerian raised in uk or usa with accent has privileges over the average Nigerian, they get roles in media, radio station, hospitality or are used for the aesthetics, accent equals elitism/ class in Nigeria .An unknown indian, chinese or lebanese will get contracts or license for something over an average Nigerian with no connection. This analogy no follow.

Yes many back in Lebanon hear of how Nigeria is filled with Lebanese and the streets flowing with milk and honey. With only a diploma, they head to Nigeria, get a job with a Lebanese business or with Nigerians employing Lebanese, save, invest, make contacts and continue to grow and they become multi millionaires. Many of them in Nigeria are first generation though there are many whose family have settled for long. Many billionaire Lebanese are Nigerians and if Nigeria bans dual citizenship, they will opt for Nigerian citizenship over that of Lebanon. Some of them are fluent in Nigerian languages too though not as much as the earlier generations who were more integrated into the local culture. Then nobody gets contracts without being in the industry and having substantial investments

Jemex003:
I don achieved pass your pman

How have you treated people is more important than whatever material possessions you have or position you attained. Internet fraudsters believe they are achievers too and someone like Good luck Jonathan who was accused by Henry Okah on oath in south Africa of paying for bombs to bomb Nigerians even as a sitting President may see himself as an achiever. I rather be poor than be a piece of filth. So that man's father may be a honourable poor man with unsoiled hands and that would be something to be proud of.

If you are hinted that a man is determined to use his own child for human rituals, I mean a well respected man in the community, would you go to him to go and dissuade him?. We are talking of an adult and leader of millions in this case. It would be wrong to dissuade him because there is a limit to what you can advise a grown man especially a Pastor leading millions, what you can do is approve of the plan to the man and then take action by reporting to the police. This is why the action of the former Pope of the Catholic church who approved Enoch Adeboye's plan to take it upon himself to run me mad can not be pointedly faulted. There was no other way he could have responded. I can not think of any other way. Even the police would not have tried to dissuade him if they got wind of the plan. Criminals are wild animals and you have to approach them with caution and a woman that is intent on poisoning her new born has gotten the benevolence of Olodumare behind her. Whether the child will die or not is another matter.

Children can have friends but you should not encourage your daughters to have sex before marriage. No one should do that. Don't encourage your sons to take advantage of girls. Extensive and assorted dating should be encouraged. Don't encourage your kids to think someone is meant for them if that person don't immediately feel the same way about them. Life is too short for all that. If they can't commit, don't commit ever. Have strong reasons to commit and strong reasons to detach.

Boss13:
Ten (10) years. However, this is still dependent on your ability to provide. If you are poor, your young wife will insult you and due to the wide age gap, you will feel the pain more.

10 years is preferable because as men we prefer respect to love and this age gap provides the buffer to mitigate against disrespect from not just your wife but also from her family.

To conclude, the age gap is important. However, your ability to provide is more important because it is in the biological nature of women to be cared for. Hence a woman would respect a younger man who take care of her than a poor older man.

My Dad is older than my mum by six years, his younger brother a Prof is older than his wife around two years. I have secondary school mates that married each other, I have university mates that married each other. Prophet Mohammed's wife was eleven years his senior and he did not marry again until he was well over fifty, I think after the first wife's death. A marriage opportunity that passed me by was to a university mate but my plan was to go after people younger by like five years, most women prefer men in their age bracket as first choice, maybe a year older or two. I wanted to make money before marriage, so my plan was someone like five years younger who will be in 100 level or so when I graduated but what works for one person may not be the path of another. I ended up with the best woman in the world who I am one year nine months older than. For one, you can only marry who you meet and there are billions of marriageable ladies you will never meet. So what is meant for you is what you will get no matter your personal plans.

Oghodua:
you seem to be speaking in tongues my brother, under which reign of which king did it stop, you have oral traditions, you can post the list of oyo kings, let me post that of Bini kings(i have it). Let’s compare the years in the reign of these kings, so you can see how solid my argument is.

You have to go and do that work and research for yourself and publish your positions.

Oghodua:
when exactly is also a factor

We did not operate a Gregorian calendar, we have scarce written records and we see time as cyclical instead of linear. The past is the future but the fact that the Oyo practiced both succession methods and still remain at more or less the same number of successions as the Ijesa lends heavy credence to my argument.

Everybody should bow down to the Chinese because they are just too many. Compared to the Chinese, the Yoruba, Igbo etc are similar to a drop in the ocean.

I have heard the story before from an elderly Igbo man. However the first Ife people all landed on Earth from outer space. Almost all cultures talk about aliens landing on Earth. Ogiso in Benin, Ugbo Omo Atorunwo as the Ugbo are greeted, Annunnaki of Sumeria, Nephilim in the Bible and etc. The first original Yoruba-Ife people landed on Earth from heaven. Obatala, Ogun, Osun, Odu, Orunmila, Ogun, Oduduwa and etc, the original ones all landed on Earth from space on the first land that rose above the waters and/or ice.

Oghodua:
the year’s they started out according to already laid down tradition would help. Also the three thrones in Yoruba land operating a similar system as opposed to Bini operating something different might not be so fair to Bini and it might not be a true reflection of what you have in mind

Funnily as I mentioned earlier, Oyo was operating the same exact succession system as Benin before they abolished it.

LionInZion:
Care to explain why you think dual citizenship is useless? Have you ever been limited or denied an opportunity because you only have a Nigerian passport? If dual citizenship is so useless, do you think people will be spending hundreds of thousands of dollars or spending years in a country they don't really like or even marrying someone they don't really like just to acquire it?

I believe everybody should be serious and build their nations. The Earth should be evenly developed. I don't believe in polygamy. They don't believe in it in India too. Once an Indian takes a new passport, he or she will need a visa to visit India

Oghodua:
it is not always the case, even for the fact that you have a guess, you were not there to actually witness these kings and their ages at the time, that for Benin is certain, you cannot use the event of Now to accurately ascertain the past, in Igala a sister yoruboid tribe to Yoruba, the present Attah has retired from the civil service. Some first sons may not come until 35, 25 was an average. The meat of the Matter is that with primogeniture, you are very certain that the next king is one generation younger at the very least, but the issue of rotation among families, we were not there, we cannot ascertain.

You are right but it goes both ways because if a Benin king is blessed with longevity then his son will ascend the throne as an old man similar to the present Attah of Igala and the Attach title means father and it may be a reason they may like older people but in Yoruba land, there is a wide pool to choose from since it is always an open contest and atimes the position may remain vacant for a length of time or occupied by a regent while the search continues for a substantive monarch. There is never a period of vacancy in the constitution of Benin, Ibadan, Britain etc as succession is automatic and predecided. The next Olubadan, Oba of Benin etc are always known if they remain alive. That saves them time and is also a factor to consider in favor of your argument but the fact that a much younger person than the first son of the late King can and most often ascends the throne in Yoruba land is also a strong point for my argument. The present Oba of Benin also was already an old man when he ascended the throne. Compare him to Ooni Ogunwusi, Ooni Sijuade, Alaafin Adeyemi, Owa Aromolaran when they ascended their thrones and you will understand my point. They were all younger than Oba Ewuare II when he ascended the throne. That is the issue. Most first sons will be around fifty years when their father dies and if the father was blessed with longevity, they will be much older. 51 kings in Ife, 47 in Ijesa and maybe 47 in Oyo compared to 40 as you said in Benin means most probably that the Benin dynasty started much later according to my original post, then the stories in the Ifa corpus that I mentioned.

shegzhkn:
Lol, why can't all this people then build a functioning society to preclude young people from traveling to distant shores.
They have opinion on everything but can do almost nothing, he is screaming about brain drain when infact the western world did not want you. Use those damn intellect to build a working society.
You've got over 200M population and no matter how folks travel out of the country you will always have more 95% back home, work with that. Nigerian don't even travel that much.

Travelling is also good. Everybody travel if only to gain extra experience. My Dad travelled to the UK,studied and returned when his Dad wrote to say he has become an old man already. If you leave your land empty, your culture will be at risk of extinction but the land itself will continue attracting people. Land is like that. If those who own it don't like it, foreigners will. Land will never be orphaned

Oghodua:
if you can attest to what is tenable now, where you around for the last seven centuries to vouch for who they installed. But with the system of primogeniture you are very certain that the successor is on the average 25 years younger than the father. That is why I have been asking you for the list of Oyo kings. Besides there is a system in place in Oyo whereby the Ogboni council can present an empty calabash and such a king would commit suicide or be banished, such a culture is totally absent in Benin. The system at all is not the same

I understand your point but in Yoruba land, the next King is almost always much younger than the first son of the late King unlike in Benin where the next King must be the first son of the late King and that first son might be an old man depending on the age his Dad died. Sijuade was almost fifty years older than Ogunwusi that succeeded him. Therefore it is even benevolent to Benin's argument to assume everything evened out but I think it is safe to use that assumption.

Then the Oyo system at one point was exactly like the Benin but it was changed because of Aremos poisoning the Alaafin in order to ascend the throne. Then a law was passed to say the Aremo must die when the king dies so that Kings can live long. Alaafin Atiba was the one that stopped the practice of compelling the Aremo to commit suicide when the king dies

elijah101:
Me I sha want to get the second citizenship , so I can come back and tell you all that you don't need it ..

Dual citizenship is something that should not be. It makes no sense. You need only one citizenship and in other places you can be an expatriate (migrant worker).

Oghodua:
the reign of fifty kings would be similar when the system in place is similar. For most parts of the Bini kings, their sons succeeded them, some their first, some their second but in 90 percent of the time their sons succeeded them, that can’t be compared to a system where it is rotational between families and the successors of the late king in some cases might be ten years younger than the late king

Can you point to an occasion in Yoruba land where an old man was made King?. Some modern kings in Yoruba land ruled for sixty years. The present Owa Obokun was installed in 1980. The late Sijuade was on the throne for almost fifty years. Oyekan of Lagos the same thing. Isn't Sikiru Adetona of Ijebu still there? Therefore it is the same thing all over except for Ibadan.

There are hundreds of thousands of US citizens in Nigeria most of whom are Nigerians with US citizenship. They relocated to Nigeria to work here after spending years in the USA. So things are not always as they seem. Indians, Japanese, Germans, British are all here with some working in Nigerian private companies or in companies they co founded with Nigerians. Not to talk of Lebanese, Indians, Chinese and etc and all this while young Nigerians spend millions to japa. Some Lebanese who came to Lagos penniless ten years ago are now multi millionaires using their brains and they are young men too. To each his or her own or as the saying goes 'To every Mallam his kettle!'.

Gerrard59:
Oga,

You are the one complaining of not finding a woman in Canada. Do I look like I am responsible for your inability to find a woman in the entire Canada? You sound like those Nigerian men who cannot do without sex then japa'd to a place with temperate weather, and with your Ojuju Calabar face, no woman is looking at you. You must be thinking something else if you think because I want to be financially stable, then it means I don't want my wife to succeed. Do you think you are more feminist than a dude who has written feminist articles for donkey years? Who has participated in debates arguing for women to earn more and be financially independent?

Focus on what you took you to Canada. Register on Tinder, Hinge, Bumble etc, screaming away your desperation for a partner. I am not the one who initiated the discussion that he needs a woman. The truth is, you people have never experienced what life is without sex, that is why marriage dey hungry una because una dey environment where one gives a fvck who you are. You cannot use money to entice them because they have theirs. Now, you lots are angry at fellow Nigerian women wey sabi una behaviour A - Z.

Whether women have been heads of traditional institutions is none of my freaking business! Do I come across to you as Prince Charles or Williams? !

Are you drowsy or dreaming?. In which of my post did I talk about Canada?.

Oghodua:
nobody said that the Bini dynasty has lasted for 1200 years, what we are saying is that the Bini dynasty started out in 1200, but that is pretty fair enough for 40 kings. 1200 till date is 800 years. Besides the Bini monarchical system is primogeniture in nature. The eldest son usually succeeded the father in most cases in Benin. But that is not the case in your place whereby the next king might be ten years younger than the late king.

I just used an analogy, I did not say Benin dynasty started 1200 years ago. I said on the average, the total length of the reign of fifty kings would be similar in any two lands. It is the law of probability. In Benin, not all Kings were succeeded by their sons since anything can happen that was not foreplanned. Brothers have succeeded each other in the past because the king died too early and his first son was not even yet a toddler. Such happens, so at the end of the day,things even out. In ninety percent of cases or even ninety nine percent, a new King would be the age grade of the kids of the late King. You can do an independent assessment of royal successions across the world. Ibadan is an outlier because royal succession is by social seniority and not by birth.

godofuck231:
bastard, whats your problem , if your father put his prike in the wrong hole must you come to nairaland and display your frustration of being born out of wedlock ? Go home , please and don't argue with elders

Why can't you shut your trap?. You have no basic home training on public discourse neither do you have the minimum required intelligence but you want to talk!.

Oghodua:
you have to check the longevity of each of these kings, like there are some Bini kings that lived for a year on the throne while there are some others that lived up to 45 years on the throne, some as much as 54 on the throne while another 46. So going by that analogy above. Any number around 40 to 50 is even as they will not be dying at the same time or not be taken permission from each other to die. You might as well drop the chronology of the oyo kings,let’s take a look at it.we have it on good note that our dynasty started in 1200

You are very right. There are Oonis of Ife that were inaugurated in the morning and died in the evening but on the average everything evens out and it is unlikely that fifty kings will reign for 1500 years in one kingdom while they reign for 1200 years in another except if the system of succession warrants such as is the case in Ibadan where only retired old men can make it to the throne. In other places, it is not like that. The normal way is that the successor to the throne will be the age grade of the children of the king that died.

Gerrard59:
Well, I stick to what I know. Nothing concerns me with woman's money other than my mom's and sister's.

Good luck to everyone.

You sound like those kind of men who don't wish prosperity for their wives because if your wife prosper, you will eat. Women have been Owa Obokun of Ijesa land, Ooni of Ife, Queen of England and they had husbands and kids

I saw another account saying 37th but it only makes a little difference. There is still around seven generations between Oranmiyan and the founder of the current dynasty which still means there is need for more digging. Ijesa and Oyo share a similar number of successions. Britain too is less than fifty successions. What do you mean by Dagbo story?.

godofuck231:
Have you heard of the ogisos? Go baff wear white come beg the oba of benin, you will still not smell fresh , oba never give you soap baff

Why comment if you have nothing sensible whatsoever to contribute?. Don't be daft.

Bi a se nse ni ilu wa, eewo ibo mi ni, Ise ira o yato SI ise Igede. It is a representation of an ancient civilization like most towns in Ekiti. The original Igede may be anywhere just like the original Ado, Ire, Irele and etc. They are ancient civilizations which may have existed even before Nigeria became habitable. Ife was once in Central Africa Republic. Wadai in CAR was Ife Woodaye, other Ifes would even be more Northerly than that and they would have had Ado, Ira and etc too nearby.

The Ifa corpus may be the largest volume of oral history in the world and any history in the corpus is totally valid because it is used for scientific theology. A story in odi meji talks about how a stranger was made the Oba of Benin by the Benin people. According to oral history, it should be Oranmiyan but Oranmiyan was not mentioned by name in the story. The appellation used for the stranger was Ajoji Godogbo which may mean handsome stranger. No mention of Ogiso as the hitherto ruler that died was referred to as Oba in the story. Oranmiyan was birthed by Oduduwa himself, so if the story was of Oranmiyan, then Benin should have had as many royal successions as the Ijesha, the Ife and the Oyo royal stools because those dynasties were also founded by sons of Oduduwa. Oranmiyan was actually also the first Alaafin of Oyo. However Oyo and Ijesa have had around 47 kings each while Ife have had 51 but Benin has had only 37. The disparity is too much for the dynasties to have started at the same time and it is much more likely that the present dynasty in Benin started centuries after Oyo, Ife and Ijesa had been established. However there is no reason to doubt that Oranmiyan went to Benin but traditions say he did not remain there. He was vexed there and named the place Ife Ibinu meaning Ife of vexation which later became Benin. The disparity in the number of royal succession between Benin and others was a wonder to me until I came across a story of Irete meji in the Ifa corpus talking about a certain Sasore who was made King in Benin, it then fell into place. Apparently the person in the odi meji story of the Ajoji Godogbo is the same Sasore of the Irete meji story who was a visiting Awo to Benin that went to the palace to commiserate with them on the death of the Oba and since the late ruler was referred to as Oba and not Ogiso, it would make sense that he was of the original dynasty kicked off by Owomika (Eweka) son of Oranmiyan and that the name of the founder of the current dynasty is therefore Sasore and not Oranmiyan or Eweka. However the research continues.

Kelechi009:
The reason why a woman would sleep with any of those people is because they already have comfort of their husband(financial security), therefore looking for attention & sex which is missing in their marriage. Once that husband throws them out, those women never return to those houseboys, security men etc. They begin to seek men who can give them more than just dick.

Also anytime you see a woman sleeping with houseboys, security men etc. It is because the husband is NOT satisfying her. No attention, no sex.

Meanwhile men on the other hand sleep around whether they are satisfied on not. It is like a thrill to them, like ad adventure!

Not the same thing at all.

The fact is that they do it. Even women that married as virgins do cheat while there are former Oloshos who don't. It is a matter of integrity. No one wants to marry the worst, so hypergamy goes both ways

Kelechi009:
You are wrong. You claiming men & women are sexually the same is wrong. Women only give their body what they consider BEST person, while men give theirs to every one woman available they see.

I just explained that men want more women (Quantity) and they really don't care about the quality of those women, therefore they are polygamous.

Meanwhile women on the other hand want the best man (Quality), and they don't care if 1,000 other women are dying to get that one man, they will also fight other women for it.

The sleeping with anything argument is faulty to an extent because men need to be turned on while women can lead you on. They can have sex without being turned on and this is the main reason prostitutes thrive more than gigolos.

Franklin31:
It doesn't mean they are not attracted to other men when they are in a relationship. The patriarchy gives men advantage in marriage issues, that is why it seems that women are always satisfied with one man. The truth is that, as far as the patriarchal society is concerned, a woman cannot afford to abuse her marriage; the consequences are far greater than those of a man abusing his marriage. A rich woman who wants a sexual relationship that is not marriage (and she is the one who provides for the man) can easily get tired of the man and want a change.

A large number of women want peace of mind and when they marry and give birth they prefer to stay no matter what later happens especially if they have their own income.