₦airaland Forum

Gerrard59:
The chances of meeting a man with a questionable source of income in Canada are lower than in Nigeria. So Nigerian ladies in Canada are on the right side regarding vetting the men who meet them for relationship/marriage.

Yes you are right but they have jails in Canada too because of criminals in their society

Gerrard59:
Exception not the norm. Not too common. We have to assess it as per a research paper. I need to see the data behind your claim on a wider scale. The current data (widely available on the net) show that most women marry men who earn more than they (women) do.

I am not saying all men should be rich (not mathematically possible), but an unemployed man should focus on getting a job rather than finding love in a highly capitalistic society. He can control finding a job, not finding love. As I opined, it is easier to find love with black women born and bred in Canada because those are at the apex of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs rather than fellow immigrants who toiled to migrate as single women, not married. They will have higher standards for men they want, especially a first generation man like OP. The same OP might find it difficult to meet up with their ethical standards as per no be fellow Nigerian women or have his ego bruised.

It could be how I was raised and what I witnessed growing up, but the only women I can rely on financially without issues are my mom and sister. But then let's ask ourselves, why is OP interested in finding love at this point in his life? Is it love that took him to Canada?

You can lose your job and etc. Shit happens and a real woman would stay with you no matter what happens after marriage. The first woman you can rely on should be your wife as a married man.

Kelechi009:
1. The women who sleep with men & pay, aren't they older women who have no options?
2. Have you ever seen a young beautiful woman in her 20s paying a man to sleep with it?
3. Who has paid to sleep with you? How many of them?

If a lady is seducing you, It means you are the best she is attracted to. To HER, you're the best she is seeing. If other men come toasting her, she will not allow them. There is a difference.

The reason why Female prostitution sells & male prostitution does NOT sell is because MEN can sleep with anything! Women don't do that!

Even if a lady just want sex, she will still NOT sleep with you if she does NOT find you WORTHY. You have to be worthy of her body, there is a big value on it. Except she is prostitute or hookup girl.

When a man wants sex, he goes out to pick any nonsense random girl. Women don't do this, except for few exceptions.

Prostitutes retire, so men don't just sleep with anything. Hundreds of prostitutes sleep with anything. Men don't do that. What I agree is men wants more of pleasure while women want more of reward or payment. However women engage in all kinds of cheating. With houseboys, security men, husband's younger brother, male subordinate and other random people

It came from Malian Muslims who learnt it from Muslim descendants of Phoenicians. It means Europa which initially meant west of Phoenicia and later came to mean a people that advanced without submitting to Allah or advanced thugs/infidels. That is my thesis.

Kelechi009:
I'm sorry but Mr advanceDNA, you're very wrong on this subject.

There are core part of humans that whatever society they are, It will be constant. Hypergamy is one of them, regardless of the society, region and base, women will always want men who have more status, make more money, more wisdom or is powerful. Hence they always flock around those that fit this requirement. According to Nypost, Tiger Woods had 120 affairs, including one with young neighbor. Those women wouldn't even mind being the number 25 or 100 on the roaster, they all want him. Some of those women are regular people, cashiers and restaurant servers etc.

Reference: nypost.com/2010/04/29/tiger-woods-had-120-affairs-including-one-with-young-neighbor/

This has nothing to do with society! Men love Quatity, Women love Quality.

Women on the other hand want the top echelon of men, not all men. They only want the prim & proper, the La cream the La cream of men. Jennifer Lopez is an example, she is sexually liberated but her sexual liberation is ONLY for top class men. No female celeb will you find sleeping with random men, they ONLY sleep with top guys. Quality over Quantity!

Men can sleep with any lady, beautiful or not. Famous or not. Even dirty House Helps!

But women will ONLY droll over cute men / TV or Music stars ! They only give their body to the best! Someone like Portable is having women ONLY because he is a famous star, without the star quality, No woman will even touch him with a pole.

Can you see the difference?! or you're still denying reality.

I have given you examples with Facts and reference, I hope you can do the same.

Men too when choosing choose quality first others are for recreation, same applies to women, some women sleep with men and still pay them money, that is why we have gigolos but when choosing a special one,everybody man or woman will choose the best but the idea of best with everybody does not always begin and end with money. There must be value and that value is not always money. If you say hypergamy is about value I agree with you but it applies to both men and women alike. After choosing people cheat and it applies to both men and women and you are wrong to say only men can sleep with anybody. Almost all men have at one time or the other being seduced by older females, it may be as a boy or as a young man and in most cases, the lady just wants sex.

khadaffi:
Early men were never monogamous. I don't know where you get these fact from. Even a careful peep at the Bible that the OP based this post on clearly show the men in those days married more than one wife and it was also normal to have concubines. What we have today is a society that has been changed as a result of technology, civilisation etc. Even our other close relatives in the animal kingdom who are also primates e.g Orangutan, chimpanzee etc are not monogamous.I challenge anybody that thinks otherwise to name any primate apart from human that is monogamous. Monogamy is supported by the present day culture and economic reality (especially in a country like Nigeria with zero social security). I married only one wife so I'm not supporting polygamy but the truth have to be said. It takes a high level of discipline for someone on the status of Davido to be monogamous.

Secondly, talking based on purely science here, no religion. There is a scientific reason nature made man to be polygamous. If you study the way the chimpanzee lives in the wild, it is closely related to how humans also existed before the technology started taking over. Humans were designed to be social animals that live in groups of not more than 50 people. It is technology that made it possible to exceed this number. So what happens when we exceed this number? War. If you look at the chimpanzee, you will see how a clan go to war with another clan. In a war situation, the men are expendable and the female is the most important gender that can easily repopulate the clan. For this reason females don't go to war. They are to be protected at all cost. If in any event war gets to the females and they had to start defending themselves then that is the end of that clan. Even if there are fewer men left after battle, the females will quickly repopulate the clan in order for them to withstand the next onslaught by any clan.

In some ancient societies, brothers share wives when there is shortage of women. I have heard of a case in ancient Britain. However men die in war and women generally are war booty and if you have enough women in your clan, your next generation is assured. When men die in wars, you have excess women and you then need polygamy but the average man in most human society has always been monogamous. Harems were meant for Kings and big men. Nowadays war has reduced and what should be acceptable is monogamy

Gerrard59:
Unfortunately, in the eyes of Nigerian women in Canada, he is currently poor as he does not have a job. I don't know why you people are running away from reality. This dude is unemployed. In Nigeria, the same calibre of women will not touch him with a pole, then he expects them to do the same in Canada? C'mon! Values come after the economics have been settled, not before. It is Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs.

If he gets a job with Google tomorrow, those same ladies will give him an audience even though he has a Nigerian passport. That is how relationships have worked for donkey years. My issue is that he refuses to accept this FACT. Now, he believes his best chances are with women in Nigeria, which is true. But largely because he is based in Canada. Meanwhile, in same Nigeria, there are men like him who have not been given an audience by the same women who he (OP) will target.

H for HYPERGAMY. Why is this too difficult to accept? Tell me, what does this man bring to the table? Mind you, we are talking about Nigerian women who were BORN and BRED in Nigeria, not those who were born and bred in Canada. These women know Nigerian men better than other women. So, what the heck is he bringing to the table? I love you, oya, talk your own?

It sounds unfair to men just starting life, but that is life, it has never been fair.

Then can you explain with hypergamy those ladies (I know many) who meet unemployed men, marry them and help them secure a job? Is that also hypergamy?.

Lamurudu (Nimrod) was the first post flood King of Sumeria (present day Iraq) over five thousand years ago. The person who founded the present Ife- Yoruba dynasty lived 51 kings ago and that is at most 2000 years ago, maybe 1500. He led many Kemitic Egyptian speaking foreigners to West Africa and became King at Ife. Lamurudu therefore can only be ancestor and not father of Oduduwa. Oduduwa most probably was an Egyptian aristocrat of Akkadian/Sumerian descent. If you go to Egyptian history online, you can deduce the actual dynasty but his original name was not Oduduwa. He was rechristened Oduduwa at Ife because Oduduwa is a premordial Yoruba deity name.

Now the Oduduwa that came from the North African direction most probably was an Egyptian of Sumerian descent and he is not the same as Oduduwa Atewonro who landed on Earth from space who was the first Olofin Aye Oduduwa and there have of course been many Oduduwas including women.

lekjons:
I think the nature/behavior of women throughout history validates the assertion(that men are polygamous in nature) more than anything men did/does.

For instance, a lot women would marry or become a baby mama for a known married man if he meets certain standards, and will happily stay with him and continue to "love" him as long as he maintains status quo.

It's not quite the same for men as men are more territorial in that regard.

That is because only women can get pregnant but if it is about having sex with other people, there is not much difference between men and women

Anonymoususher:
Depends. I am in a relationship (not yet married) it's been 6yrs but have not seen pants of another girl despite fact that I and my partner are far apart and see just twice a year.

I think it all boils down to self control. I am good looking, I am tall, I have a car, I am trying in my earning, I live in a 2 bed apartment alone but I have never tasted another lady in 6yrs except my fiancee who visits during holidays and we make love to our full.

I have female friends, presently 5 are giving green lights. One even accused me of being a gay. But I don't mind. At least my babe knows how hard I go on her.

I have always been a one man one woman guy. What people describe as fun is disturbance to me. I don't drink, smoke, club or even take sex as a big deal.

Sometimes I feel tempted to taste another but after inviting them over, a day to the meeting I will just cancel it and they will. Feel bad.

I don't want to start what I cannot finish and also don't want to get the wrong person pregnant because I only want to marry and have kids with who I love. Hence I avoid laying with any other girl

Cheating is not easy now. Very difficult and that is why many men save themselves the headache

MrBrownJay1:
the reality of this issue is irrelevant to whether men are polygamous in nature or not.... IF A MAN IS INDEED POLYGAMOUS THEN LET HIM BE HONEST AND TELL THAT TO HIS WOMAN/WOMEN OPENLY, SO HE DOESNT HAVE TO CRAWL LIKE A RAT AT THE DEAD OF NIGHT TO CHEAT!

if you tell your woman from the get go:" hey babe, i am a polygamous man and you will only be one of the many women in my life" then technically, when this man meets other women, it can never be considered cheating. the problem here is that the majority of the weak yeye men we have today are so afraid of being themselves, so they would rather PRETEND they are "one woman man" and then crawl at the dead of night to cheat.
***spit on floor***

Cheating is not the same thing as polygamy. Cheating is dishonesty. Both men and women cheat but men do it more.

If someone's personal sharia is to not worship idols, nothing bad in that at all and many people are like that. It is not wrong to be like that. For the Jews, it is a national or ethnic Sharia but they don't hate and kill themselves over it and don't tell non Jews they must follow them or burn in hell!. They fully expect other nations to have their own sharia. That is how Judaism is different from the other copy cat Abrahamic theologies that are the religions.

Women too can potentially have many husbands but the only hitch would be that the paternity of her kids would be ambiguous.

Mackie1:
Bruhhh lowkey I've been behind you... But this your take. Naaa.

If your daughter wants to marry a rich man, you would want to know what the source of income is. For instance not every family can agree that their daughter marry a yahoo boy.

oluayebenz:
I don't even understand your claim.

Money is number one most people look at, honour or value will now later come into play.

Everybody wants a comfortable life, so there's nothing like real love if money is not involved.

Money is the oga patapata of them all both home and abroad, rich or poor.

Most decent girls infact majority of girls will choose a man with a much lower income over a rich man with a questionable source of income

aurorae1:
He said it's a serious consideration not the number one...
I wish we understand that when it comes to homo sapiens, it's not often black and/or white, there is a big grey area.

While we are shaped by nature, yes even in the 21st century, the female DNA is honed to go after the best provider, for her and her progeny. Yet, we are intelligent beings and therefore economic, ethnic and societal norms and shifts come into play...

All in all, try shine your eye when it comes to people.
Everyone above has made poignant points, no one is entirely right as well as totally wrong.

If woman too no fine, no get job, no get money, no get home training, who go marry am?. Na only woman be hypergamous?.

Gerrard59:
Unfortunately, in the eyes of Nigerian women in Canada, he is currently poor as he does not have a job. I don't know why you people are running away from reality. This dude is unemployed. In Nigeria, the same calibre of women will not touch him with a pole, then he expects them to do the same in Canada? C'mon! Values come after the economics have been settled, not before. It is Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs.

If he gets a job with Google tomorrow, those same ladies will give him an audience even though he has a Nigerian passport. That is how relationships have worked for donkey years. My issue is that he refuses to accept this FACT. Now, he believes his best chances are with women in Nigeria, which is true. But largely because he is based in Canada. Meanwhile, in same Nigeria, there are men like him who have not been given an audience by the same women who he (OP) will target.

H for HYPERGAMY. Why is this too difficult to accept? Tell me, what does this man bring to the table? Mind you, we are talking about Nigerian women who were BORN and BRED in Nigeria, not those who were born and bred in Canada. These women know Nigerian men better than other women. So, what the heck is he bringing to the table? I love you, oya, talk your own?

It sounds unfair to men just starting life, but that is life, it has never been fair.

You need a stable source of income surely and there is nobody without a source of income else they would die but there are women who would take you as you are and there are women who would never marry you no matter how much money you have. Honour, value are better than cash. Money is highest value for some not even for most. Some want to marry into a good family, some want a well educated man, some want a caring, intelligent, handsome etc and of course what you lack or like should be part of what you are seeking for in a partner. Some women will lose interest in you immediately they know you are sneaking out to sleep with other women, they have their reasons, some others will stay. Bottom line is we are all looking for the best according to our own standards but you can only pick from those you have access to. Money is a very serious consideration only to poor people who lack money

Gerrard59:
You knew this, yet you stated this?



Again, I repeat, you don't have a table. If you like hit on your head against the wall in Canada, those Nigerian girls with Canadian residency would not look at your face. You might even be lucky with black ladies who were born and bred there, but with first-generation Nigerian girls wey sabi the A - Z of how Nigerian men behave? What do you want to tell her that she does not know?

You claim to know that women need good life, but here you are lamenting that Nigerian girls are not interested in you. Like I do write on Nairaland, na Bolu and Amaka una go return to marry.

When going into any kind of partnership, what you need is value and it means what the partnership needs that you have. It is not always money. Not everything is money, some people don't need more money than they already have and there have been people who turned down opportunities to make money. There are people that chose austerity over prosperity including both men and women. There are many things on offer outside money especially when poverty is not the problem of the intending partners

We are not created to worship God. That is heresy. Worship is not wrong but help is better than worship. Would you worship a starving child while eating and wasting food without giving the child any of it?. That would be evil. Help is therefore more important than worship. Far more important. If worship is placed before help, it would be hypocritical moving towards evil. God needs help and if there is any help you can render God, don't go and worship God until you have rendered that help because it would be akin to the analogy of the starving child. God needs help. To raise well your kids is helping God. To regularly support an orphanage is helping God, to save a girl child about to be raped is helping God, stop a paedophilia is helping God, broker peace between warring parties is helping God, apprehend a human ritualist is helping God, raise an alarm to save someone in danger is helping God, compassion for animals is helping God, a government that extinguished poverty has helped God, conserving natural resources is helping God, sponsor someone's education is helping God, invest in a good idea is helping God. Don't mind that Mohammed said God has and needs no helper. What we know now and that we are sure of is that God needs helpers and can not do it alone and that fact can not be controverted. Worship God. Yes, but that is not why God sent you to this plane of existence. God sent you here to make this place a bit better than it was before you are able to start contributing. Creation is continuous, it sometimes needs repairs, sometimes needs maintenance and you are needed by God to be a co creator.

Onyiiobi7735:
They only exist if I see one.All my time in Enugu state,am yet to see an Igbo Muslim,an Igbo woman wearing hijab. Even in Enugu-Ezike,Eha Amufu,Igbo Eno,Eha Alumona which are communities in Enugu state adjacent to Muslim areas of Kogi state,I have never seen an Igbo woman wearing hijab or a mosque.
Just because a handful of Igbos practice Islam for business convenience with the North, doesn't mean Islam is entrenched in Igbo land.

But Igbo catholic nuns wear hijab too

IslamIsIdiotic:
What does silliness mean to you?

For me, silliness is what happens when a simple village idiot with delusions of grandeur and an insatiable sexual appetite, calls himself a "prophet" of God

So what exactly is the silliness of Christianity?

If you say and sincerely believe you are something other people can not become, whether God, last prophet or whatever, it means you are insane whether diagnosed or not. People who believe you are silly.

Alchemist01:
What the Bleep are you talking about? I don't even express interest in girls of other races because I don't see a future with them and I have explained why.

And you are talking about courting karma? You can't be serious. Everybody has what their preferences is.

You better remove the karma fantasy from your brain cus it doesn't exist. If it did, all the terrible people in world wouldn't be living great lives but they are.

Which one would you prefer?. Live lavishly to impress people through fraud and be disgraced or bankrupted during your old age or even on the last day of your life or suffer for a long time and be vindicated at the tail end with a glorious ending. It is always one of the two. The only difference is the length of the pain or length of the enjoyment period. Which do you prefer?. A good ending or bad ending?. You can't have both and it is the one you work for you will have

IslamIsIdiotic:
Yes, Christianity is "sillier" than the religion which promises its followers everlasting sexual intercourse in paradise if they kill unbelievers.

Sunan At-Tabaraani in

Al-Mu'jam

Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said,

"We asked the Prophet sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam (may Allaah exalt his mention): Will we have sexual intercourse with our wives in Jannat (Paradise)? He answered. 'Yes, by the One in Whose Hand my soul is, a man will have sexual intercourse with 100 virgins in one morning.""

Al-Albaani may Allaah have mercy upon him classified this hadeeth as saheeh (sound) in As-Silsilah As-Saheehah, no. 367

Ok both are equally silly since the claim of being last prophet is as ridiculous as the claim of being God and a Muslim who does not drink alcohol on Earth while hoping to drink it in heaven is simply a fool. So I agree both are equally silly

IslamIsIdiotic:
How many of them are holding elected office if they are the real igbos?
Northern Christians are larger in number and more visible than the so called Igbo mooslims who largely exist in the minds of the illiterate mooslims of Yoruba land and fullanus land

But Igbo are Christians and Christianity is far sillier and more immoral than Islam.

IbeOkehie:
Why exactly is Nigeria still united?

If Unity has been such a bad thing then WHY have the different tribes and their elites continued to go along with a United Nigeria?

I'm curious to know what you think.

Thanks.

Simply because no serious leader has risen to commit self to dismembering the country so far. That is the only reason. It does not take more than meeting the right people in the US and Britain especially and appealing to them.

Alchemist01:
It's not about law of karma lmao. I'm not just open to dating someone seriously that doesn't share the same culture as me.

For others it may be different.

Trust me if you don't have a morally defensible reason for anything then you are courting Karma. Not that you won't get another person but it won't be the same quality. If the first one truly loves you the next one sent by Karma won't. That's how it works.

longayink:
You can post whatever, but be rest assured that any Igbo man in Islamic religion is not a true Muslim. Islam has never been a religious faith practiced by Igbos.
All efforts to use Nigeria and Nigeria's government institutions and instruments to extend Islam to Igboland will come to nought.

Be rest assured that all these Igbos on Islamic faith are there because of one favour or the other they seek or got from Muslims elsewhere.

But they are Christians. Christians believe a man is God and can forgive people their past and future sins even as their victims writhe in pain. Which is sillier and more immoral?.

They have no right to say in public that law abiding people will burn in hell. They should not be allowed to say Mecca is holier land than Enugu. They should not be allowed to say Mohammed who contributed nothing to civilization is the best of mankind. They should not be allowed to tell children that God can only be prayed to in Arabic etc.

IbeOkehie:
Thank you! You're looking at it from another angle and it all comes down to the same SOCIALIST ideology, that government owns everything. In trying to enforce that theft a lot of damage is done to the economy.

Thanks!

Well you are right. It is certainly a form of socialism.

jaeyking:
When you actually make research and discover that Nigeria is not even among top 100 with highest external debt

Then you wouldn't say this rubbish

Level of credit worthiness is determined by several factors. You can use a collateral which is an asset that can be disposed or you can use revenue. Compared to what revenue can be generated in Nigeria,then Nigeria's indebtedness is insignificant but compared to what is being generated then indebtedness is high. In an even world, the US should not be four times more indebted than Nigeria but the US has over thirty trillion dollars in debt while Nigeria has around 100 billion dollars and we are not yet talking about private sector debts. However it should be expected because if you know what you are doing you will always get credit, investors and etc since you are working efficiently.

IbeOkehie:
Thanks for the reply. I fully agree with you that floating currency is the best policy. Some of the details you've pointed at give a wrong impression of certain situations.



The Central Bank sets interest rates and banks follow that because they have no choice, because the government is the sole supplier of currency. Lack of trust is a small contributor to high interest rates. Another contributor is lack of collateral. Whatever the case, no bank or lender can AFFORD to set an interest rate less than the Central Bank rate in any country.



Japan has a free floating currency. When a Central Bank trades currency or sets interest rates to influence the value of its own currency, that is still a full float because the marketplace can still legally RESPOND via price. The currency control I'm referring to is when a currency is PEGGED at a fixed price, such as has been the case in Nigeria for so long. The only way to respond to the currency fix is to enter the ILLEGAL BLACK MARKET or parallel market. Such a fix incompatible with a free float and is unsustainable in the long run as the UK found out in 1992 and Switzerland in 2005. Nigeria is the latest example of that futility.

Thanks.

In normal countries, government have no forex income so the notion of floating or not floating does not even arise. The Japanese government have power only over the yen and it is only importers and exporters that have and use forex. In Nigeria like in all nations where government sells oil, the government has forex income that is sizeable but it can not be more than thirty percent of total inflow if up to that. The problem in Nigeria includes the government wanting to control all forex inflow from exports, remittances, online fraud, gifts and etc and that is totally unfair because those dollars do not belong to them. Even the oil forex ought to be shared in dollars to the states.

Alchemist01:
Yes, I was a student, just graduated. But trying to date here has been a struggle session. And even though I dated a white girl briefly, I don't see myself settling down with one, I prefer Nigerian girls but the ones I have met here have an attitude kinda like they are better than you.

I don't have much rn i.e car house etc and currently interviewing for full time jobs but I don't think that should deter me from finding love. But I guess I am just not lucky.

If you find a good girl well educated and well brought up that likes you and you because of her color did not encourage her, then the law of Karma says you are in for a long thing. Wish you the best.